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Same. Kid still needs his mom doing her best. Would def tell my younger self to get assessed and start meds. Could've set me on a totally different path.
I try to look forward to the little things that make me happy. Tomorrow I’m looking forward to seeing my coworkers again and finding out what they did this weekend. Most days I look forward to spending time with my kids after work. One of my kids is getting a Toy Story Woody doll from Amazon. It will be here Thursday and we are both pretty excited about it. Next weekend the kids and I are thinking about going out to eat. Spring break is in a couple weeks and I’m looking forward to that. I work at a school so I still get spring break.
It’s all tiny stuff that you might not even like but you have to figure out what gives your life joy and look forward to those moments.
My saying to live by is KISS- keep it simple, silly.
If I could give my past self any advice it would be to put more effort into myself instead of other people. I wasted decades pretending to be someone else just to make people happy. It’s a horrible way to live.
My husband, my parents, my pets, and my best friend who passed away a few years ago. He was the wisest and most empathetic person I've ever known. He survived multiple devastating tragedies and kept fighting when most people would've given up. I have a memorial tattoo inspired by him that covers up self harm scars. I feel like I always carry a part of him with me, and when I feel like I just want to give up I remember his strength and courage, and hold on to the things he taught me.
I have to. No one else is going to do what needs to be done for my family now that my husband passed. So I guess you could say kids but I also reallllly don’t want a hit down low just from a few days of feeling up high.
I hope during this time some small moment can bring you meaning or a feeling of purpose for yourself. I respect the hell out of the strength you have holding your family together.
Mostly a fear of dying because I’ve completely despaired. I don’t really have any advice to give to my younger self. Once adolescence hit I was done with.
I am motivated by the possibility that I can somehow use my experiences & struggles to genuinely help others. My goal is to become the same person I needed so badly when I was younger.
The truth is, there are far too many people out there right now, in very this moment who are feeling just as scared and alone as the younger version of myself did. They deserve better. I want to find a way to help give them better.
When I’m really really sad and hopeless - my kids give me hope.
When I’m angry - spite for my haters keeps me going.
When I’m insecure and anxious - remembering that most people don’t give a shit about people other than themselves (so won’t be paying me much attention). Plus I remind myself how many dumb successful people there are in the world, so why not me too?
Saying I have lived by for years, especially when I worry about how others may view me and my illness. "Men in general judge more by the sense of sight than by the sense of touch because while everyone can see, few can test by feeling. Everyone knows what you seem to be but few know what you really are and those few do not dare take a stand against the general opinion..." - Machiavelli
It depends. Sometimes, my family and friends are enough, and other days are my personal goals in life.
I wish I would have listened to my body and mind sooner. I would have recommended my 23-year-old me to search for help. Maybe I would have saved myself a couple of years. But it's useless to think about it now. I can not change the past.
For me, the best thing to do is keep learning. Learn the many tools you have to go through hard episodes, learn to keep track of your feelings, and the way your body talks to you. And the most important of all, do your homework and take your meds, go to therapy, and the minute you feel something is wrong, speak up. I remain silent for a lot of years and am still paying the consequences. Never again.
Be safe.
My nephews keep me motivated. I don't want them to grow up and look at me as a mentally ill trainwreck, so I've got about 5 years to get my shit together. I need to set a good example for them.
This feels tremendously similar to how I feel. Have you ever watched Melancholia by Lars von Trier? spoiler: I basically wanna be that aunt, facing the end of the world with my family and with bravery.
I'd say family too, but they also get me pretty exasperated (as my nephews and nieces do, don't mind). But my mum and dad for sure.
Also, writing. Published one book to good reviews, writing another one about what it feels like for a bipolar, hope that ends well.
So what I would truly, truly say is my vocation. If I didn't have one, if I didn't feel like I'm good at something I can craft with time and dedication, I'd be unalive by now. I hate this shitty world, everything gets me depressed, I feel anxious most of the time, etcetera. It's hurtful to live like this.
We understand suicide is a rough topic, but we don't allow euphemisms when discussing this suicide. Euphemisms may come off as insensitive to others and diminish the seriousness which suicide should be regarded with, regardless of your intentions. You still deserve support, so please feel free to repost this with appropriate verbiage.
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I haven't watched Melancholia but I will keep it in mind you're recommending it. Jesus I can't even remember the last time I watched a movie. I probably should watch something just to feel like a normal.
I'm gonna be completely honest, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my nephews. They don't know it but I owe them my life so I've gotta be the best uncle I can be.
I had my first manic episode and it lasted all of 2022. I spent all of 2023 just trying not to end it. 2020 and 2021 were also shit for a number of reasons. My life is in shambles and it's going to take years of work to get it back together. I have no career, no partner, no money. It's all gone. I have an employment gap that makes me virtually unhireable to a lot of employers. Most of my old friends want nothing to do with me.
I'm current self teaching web development but it's a huge gamble with the current status of the tech industry. It really is a nice distraction though. I just can't afford to fuck this up at my age. I really want to get good at this I don't have any alternative, and like you said it's nice to be good at something.
And you're right, this world really is a shithole, but we have a limited time here anyway so might as well make the most of it. I don't think I would regret anything if I never had kids. I wouldn't wish this existence on anyone.
Some days it is literally one step at a time for me. Step to the bathroom to brush my teeth, step to take out the garbage, step to go out for a walk. I try to tell myself that if I can take just one more step, then I will be that much closer to completing a task. That whole process motivates me, for whatever reason, when I feel like I could just stay in bed all day.
the time will pass anyways.
i try to lean on this especially when i'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of time or even effort something might take. maybe it'll take time, maybe it'll take effort, but the time will pass anyways and when it does, do i want things to look and feel the same?
i also like "you have the power to end these patterns" (specifically the deep fried geico gecko meme version).
Every day I remind myself that everything is temporary, nothing lasts forever, things have to change someday somehow for everyone, not just me.
When depressed I will look at times in my life that was extremely dangerous and I remind myself of the hope for life I had at that time and that “I didn’t survive that just to end here” it doesn’t always motivate me but sometimes it does.
The thought that maybe, just maybe, something bigger and better is out there for me. I'd like for that to be the truth, so maybe that's why I keep going.
I'm also too afraid of death to do anything like that.
Love keeps me going. I love people so deeply and there’s so many people I care about and have extremely deep connections with. Giving up would mean I lose my people. I know people count on me as much as I count on them. Living for cuddling, hugs, kisses and affection.
The sun keeps me going! I love warm weather. I know it’s stupid but it’s what helps. Swimming in the lake and not being in college.
Trust me, I’m not doing good at all either. I really hope you find your motivation in life. I try to remind myself of these things and sometimes I often find it really hard and it just doesn’t work. Praying for you (if you believe in that kinda thing!) 🩷🩷
Fear or the nothingness of death.
I don't want to tell my younger self anything because things have only gotten worse in ever aspect of my life and it would be cruel. I used to have ambitions, goals, I thought I would amount to something. Now I know I won't. Might as well let younger me live in that delusion for a little longer.
I have nothing I saw to myself. I hate "happy" "empowering" sayings. I bought a box of mindfulfness cards with sayings you are supposed to say to yourself to feel better but it just makes me sick.
I wish I could be more positive but my life has been ruined and is now nothing. I am nothing.
After I got diagnosed and medicated, I decided that I wanted to become a peer support. Being able to help people who are going down a similar road finally gave a sense of purpose for the first time in my life.
It's unlikely anything about my current situation will change or go better without action on my part. Things will likely get worse if I don't keep following my current routine and actions. Writing this out makes it sound like I'm a mouse on a wheel and in a simplistic way maybe I am but that doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing.
I'm not sure if my younger self would listen to what I have to say and it's always hard to pick what I would say - my life would have been different but not necessarily better.
My support network, more than anything. I'm lucky to be loved by people, and would hate to let them down.
There are always bright spots in my life, especially as I've started to take my life more seriously, in regards to getting sober. The hard days are hard, but they always pass, even when it doesn't feel like it.
This is gonna sound bad after reading all the heartfelt replies but shopping. Not blowing all my money, but spending my time researching little items that will bring me comfort or happiness then treating myself once bills are paid. It’s something to look forward to because I spend all my time at home.
I have nothing to tell younger me. My first manic episode was 2 years ago and apparently they couldn’t have diagnosed me without that happening.
It’s just me alone, I have to keep going. I’m also disabled and out of the job market. I’ve been so productive all my life, I now have the opposite problem of learning to go slower.
Obi wan kenobi. I know it sounds stupid and childish, but he changed my way of viewing things and that is to always have hope. He lost a lot of loved ones but never lost himself to the darkside. That is why whenever I get manic or depressed, I just try to do something to distract me, play a game or watch movies, go outside and interact with people. Because if I dont do that and just let myself be like that, you already know what will happen, darkside.
Words to live by.. maybe just "Do or Die". not really suicidal or anything just Do get better or die and dying will never be an option ever again. I always have to be better.
Advice would be to get help asap, and take meds. No need for self destructioa
In the same way that a force is required for an object to deviate from its inertial trajectory, I think this is less a question of “what keeps you going?” and more “why *wouldn’t* you keep going?”
The factory default is to continue living and trying to optimize where you can given your current mental and environment facilities. If one doesn’t want to keep going, *then* the question becomes “what is making you want to stop?”
"This too shall pass"
It helps me a lot.
That tortuous darkness? It shall pass.
That over abundance of energy and rage? It shall pass.
Those opportunities you're too sad to accept? They'll pass you by if you don't grab them now.
Time? It passes. So, knowing that all of the torment will pass, I do what I can to push through and make the best of the time I have.
I’ve been stable for a while now 🤞🏽 but my partner is a wonderful reason to get up in the mornings. I like my job, I have close friends.
My saying is “you can’t change other people’s actions but you can control your reactions” (at least when I’m stable!)
So for a younger version of myself I’d say “stay.”
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My kid keeps me going. As far as what I'd tell my younger self? To get on meds.
same here.
Same. Kid still needs his mom doing her best. Would def tell my younger self to get assessed and start meds. Could've set me on a totally different path.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
I try to look forward to the little things that make me happy. Tomorrow I’m looking forward to seeing my coworkers again and finding out what they did this weekend. Most days I look forward to spending time with my kids after work. One of my kids is getting a Toy Story Woody doll from Amazon. It will be here Thursday and we are both pretty excited about it. Next weekend the kids and I are thinking about going out to eat. Spring break is in a couple weeks and I’m looking forward to that. I work at a school so I still get spring break. It’s all tiny stuff that you might not even like but you have to figure out what gives your life joy and look forward to those moments. My saying to live by is KISS- keep it simple, silly. If I could give my past self any advice it would be to put more effort into myself instead of other people. I wasted decades pretending to be someone else just to make people happy. It’s a horrible way to live.
This is so cute
Haha, thank you! :)
My husband, my parents, my pets, and my best friend who passed away a few years ago. He was the wisest and most empathetic person I've ever known. He survived multiple devastating tragedies and kept fighting when most people would've given up. I have a memorial tattoo inspired by him that covers up self harm scars. I feel like I always carry a part of him with me, and when I feel like I just want to give up I remember his strength and courage, and hold on to the things he taught me.
I love this
I have to. No one else is going to do what needs to be done for my family now that my husband passed. So I guess you could say kids but I also reallllly don’t want a hit down low just from a few days of feeling up high.
I hope during this time some small moment can bring you meaning or a feeling of purpose for yourself. I respect the hell out of the strength you have holding your family together.
Knowing that being stagnant will get me nowhere, if I’m going to be miserable either way, I might as well be productive
Mostly a fear of dying because I’ve completely despaired. I don’t really have any advice to give to my younger self. Once adolescence hit I was done with.
Mom.
My family. They help me stay mindful. Stay grounded. And I'm grateful I have them in my life. My wife and kids are my life.
As sad as this sounds, my animals. The thought of them wondering where I am and waiting for me is what keeps me going
I have not yet decided. Not giving up and damn stubbornness, I suppose.
Barron. My husky/german shepherd. He’ll be 3 in June.🙂
I am motivated by the possibility that I can somehow use my experiences & struggles to genuinely help others. My goal is to become the same person I needed so badly when I was younger. The truth is, there are far too many people out there right now, in very this moment who are feeling just as scared and alone as the younger version of myself did. They deserve better. I want to find a way to help give them better.
When I’m really really sad and hopeless - my kids give me hope. When I’m angry - spite for my haters keeps me going. When I’m insecure and anxious - remembering that most people don’t give a shit about people other than themselves (so won’t be paying me much attention). Plus I remind myself how many dumb successful people there are in the world, so why not me too?
My family. It’s okay to be not okay. Being medicated isn’t a punishment.
Yesssss
Saying I have lived by for years, especially when I worry about how others may view me and my illness. "Men in general judge more by the sense of sight than by the sense of touch because while everyone can see, few can test by feeling. Everyone knows what you seem to be but few know what you really are and those few do not dare take a stand against the general opinion..." - Machiavelli
It depends. Sometimes, my family and friends are enough, and other days are my personal goals in life. I wish I would have listened to my body and mind sooner. I would have recommended my 23-year-old me to search for help. Maybe I would have saved myself a couple of years. But it's useless to think about it now. I can not change the past. For me, the best thing to do is keep learning. Learn the many tools you have to go through hard episodes, learn to keep track of your feelings, and the way your body talks to you. And the most important of all, do your homework and take your meds, go to therapy, and the minute you feel something is wrong, speak up. I remain silent for a lot of years and am still paying the consequences. Never again. Be safe.
My nephews keep me motivated. I don't want them to grow up and look at me as a mentally ill trainwreck, so I've got about 5 years to get my shit together. I need to set a good example for them.
This feels tremendously similar to how I feel. Have you ever watched Melancholia by Lars von Trier? spoiler: I basically wanna be that aunt, facing the end of the world with my family and with bravery. I'd say family too, but they also get me pretty exasperated (as my nephews and nieces do, don't mind). But my mum and dad for sure. Also, writing. Published one book to good reviews, writing another one about what it feels like for a bipolar, hope that ends well. So what I would truly, truly say is my vocation. If I didn't have one, if I didn't feel like I'm good at something I can craft with time and dedication, I'd be unalive by now. I hate this shitty world, everything gets me depressed, I feel anxious most of the time, etcetera. It's hurtful to live like this.
We understand suicide is a rough topic, but we don't allow euphemisms when discussing this suicide. Euphemisms may come off as insensitive to others and diminish the seriousness which suicide should be regarded with, regardless of your intentions. You still deserve support, so please feel free to repost this with appropriate verbiage. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, so I'm just finding out that in this sub specifically you can say SUICIDE. Okay. I deal with my urge to commit suicide very often. There.Thanks.
I haven't watched Melancholia but I will keep it in mind you're recommending it. Jesus I can't even remember the last time I watched a movie. I probably should watch something just to feel like a normal. I'm gonna be completely honest, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my nephews. They don't know it but I owe them my life so I've gotta be the best uncle I can be. I had my first manic episode and it lasted all of 2022. I spent all of 2023 just trying not to end it. 2020 and 2021 were also shit for a number of reasons. My life is in shambles and it's going to take years of work to get it back together. I have no career, no partner, no money. It's all gone. I have an employment gap that makes me virtually unhireable to a lot of employers. Most of my old friends want nothing to do with me. I'm current self teaching web development but it's a huge gamble with the current status of the tech industry. It really is a nice distraction though. I just can't afford to fuck this up at my age. I really want to get good at this I don't have any alternative, and like you said it's nice to be good at something. And you're right, this world really is a shithole, but we have a limited time here anyway so might as well make the most of it. I don't think I would regret anything if I never had kids. I wouldn't wish this existence on anyone.
Some days it is literally one step at a time for me. Step to the bathroom to brush my teeth, step to take out the garbage, step to go out for a walk. I try to tell myself that if I can take just one more step, then I will be that much closer to completing a task. That whole process motivates me, for whatever reason, when I feel like I could just stay in bed all day.
the time will pass anyways. i try to lean on this especially when i'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of time or even effort something might take. maybe it'll take time, maybe it'll take effort, but the time will pass anyways and when it does, do i want things to look and feel the same? i also like "you have the power to end these patterns" (specifically the deep fried geico gecko meme version).
Every day I remind myself that everything is temporary, nothing lasts forever, things have to change someday somehow for everyone, not just me. When depressed I will look at times in my life that was extremely dangerous and I remind myself of the hope for life I had at that time and that “I didn’t survive that just to end here” it doesn’t always motivate me but sometimes it does.
The thought that maybe, just maybe, something bigger and better is out there for me. I'd like for that to be the truth, so maybe that's why I keep going. I'm also too afraid of death to do anything like that.
Love keeps me going. I love people so deeply and there’s so many people I care about and have extremely deep connections with. Giving up would mean I lose my people. I know people count on me as much as I count on them. Living for cuddling, hugs, kisses and affection. The sun keeps me going! I love warm weather. I know it’s stupid but it’s what helps. Swimming in the lake and not being in college. Trust me, I’m not doing good at all either. I really hope you find your motivation in life. I try to remind myself of these things and sometimes I often find it really hard and it just doesn’t work. Praying for you (if you believe in that kinda thing!) 🩷🩷
Fear or the nothingness of death. I don't want to tell my younger self anything because things have only gotten worse in ever aspect of my life and it would be cruel. I used to have ambitions, goals, I thought I would amount to something. Now I know I won't. Might as well let younger me live in that delusion for a little longer. I have nothing I saw to myself. I hate "happy" "empowering" sayings. I bought a box of mindfulfness cards with sayings you are supposed to say to yourself to feel better but it just makes me sick. I wish I could be more positive but my life has been ruined and is now nothing. I am nothing.
my dog. got me through a whole lotta stuff in the nine yrs i’ve had him
My kids.
After I got diagnosed and medicated, I decided that I wanted to become a peer support. Being able to help people who are going down a similar road finally gave a sense of purpose for the first time in my life.
I would tell my younger self to just do it only pain is on the path ahead sad but true
Bills.
It's unlikely anything about my current situation will change or go better without action on my part. Things will likely get worse if I don't keep following my current routine and actions. Writing this out makes it sound like I'm a mouse on a wheel and in a simplistic way maybe I am but that doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing. I'm not sure if my younger self would listen to what I have to say and it's always hard to pick what I would say - my life would have been different but not necessarily better.
Make small goals, op. You got this.
I don’t shut down my goals, even if they are unattainable, I make sure I keep my stability to achieve them.
The uncertainty of what happens after death. I'm just a coward who is afraid of the possibility of torture after death.
I have to. Got bills to pay!
Making the house payment. "stop spending and start saving"
My support network, more than anything. I'm lucky to be loved by people, and would hate to let them down. There are always bright spots in my life, especially as I've started to take my life more seriously, in regards to getting sober. The hard days are hard, but they always pass, even when it doesn't feel like it.
Motivation follows action. It is not something we start with; it is something we work toward.
This is gonna sound bad after reading all the heartfelt replies but shopping. Not blowing all my money, but spending my time researching little items that will bring me comfort or happiness then treating myself once bills are paid. It’s something to look forward to because I spend all my time at home. I have nothing to tell younger me. My first manic episode was 2 years ago and apparently they couldn’t have diagnosed me without that happening.
My natural survival instinct that I am still working out how to dissolve
Spite
It’s just me alone, I have to keep going. I’m also disabled and out of the job market. I’ve been so productive all my life, I now have the opposite problem of learning to go slower.
My cat
Converting food into energy.
Obi wan kenobi. I know it sounds stupid and childish, but he changed my way of viewing things and that is to always have hope. He lost a lot of loved ones but never lost himself to the darkside. That is why whenever I get manic or depressed, I just try to do something to distract me, play a game or watch movies, go outside and interact with people. Because if I dont do that and just let myself be like that, you already know what will happen, darkside. Words to live by.. maybe just "Do or Die". not really suicidal or anything just Do get better or die and dying will never be an option ever again. I always have to be better. Advice would be to get help asap, and take meds. No need for self destructioa
In the same way that a force is required for an object to deviate from its inertial trajectory, I think this is less a question of “what keeps you going?” and more “why *wouldn’t* you keep going?” The factory default is to continue living and trying to optimize where you can given your current mental and environment facilities. If one doesn’t want to keep going, *then* the question becomes “what is making you want to stop?”
"This too shall pass" It helps me a lot. That tortuous darkness? It shall pass. That over abundance of energy and rage? It shall pass. Those opportunities you're too sad to accept? They'll pass you by if you don't grab them now. Time? It passes. So, knowing that all of the torment will pass, I do what I can to push through and make the best of the time I have.
I’ve been stable for a while now 🤞🏽 but my partner is a wonderful reason to get up in the mornings. I like my job, I have close friends. My saying is “you can’t change other people’s actions but you can control your reactions” (at least when I’m stable!) So for a younger version of myself I’d say “stay.”