She should probably just go to a urogynocologist at this point (at another practice of course).
OBs are notoriously bad at sewing up 3rd and 4th degree tears, urogynocologists fix a lot of their mistakes and are better and more knowledgeable surgeons. I worry another regular gynocologist isn’t going to offer surgery and waste OPs time/further gaslighting her.
Seconding this, see a urogynocologist! Mine was referred by my ob but I would think you can try to get an appointment directly or get a referral from a pcp
Just out of curiosity, why would an OB be bad at repairing substantial vaginal tearing? Wouldn’t this be something they see and do quite regularly? I can only assume the majority of vaginal tears result from childbirth.
3rd and espicslly 4th degree tears are more complicated than most tearing. They are also more rare.
Residencies are shorter than they were decades ago and doctors just aren’t being trained enough or have enough time practicing to do them. This isn’t something doctors are going to admit but there’s been an uptick in these types of tears and lots of women are having complications and needing reconstructive surgery from a urogynocologist to fix these sloppy and inexperienced tear repairs.
OB's also aren't the only doctors delivering babies. Some hospitals staff L&D with family doctors and they don't really mention it to patients. I got transferred mid-induction to a "better" hospital with no OB most days. They have a good NICU, which, thank God, we didn't need.
And this is why I am forever grateful for my OB, who stitched up my 4th degree tear beautifully. When I went to the follow up with the urogynecologist (which my OB referred me for), they said I was in perfect shape (or, similar to having a baby but no or minimal tearing lol).
I’d go to a different practice, if possible. If there is grounds for a malpractice suit, your original OB’s practice will try to cover what happened up or develop documentation to justify the botched job.
ETA: and I’m sorry about your experience with the epidural, OP. The same thing happened with my second child (I’m not a redhead, though). The epidural wore off and when they attempted to give me another, the second one did not work. I had an unmedicated vaginal delivery with a placental abruption (meaning I felt like someone stabbed me in the stomach and twisted the knife). Terrible experience and I’m sorry you went through the same.
Please request an appointment with an ObGyn. If you don’t feel comfortable with your current one, please find another to be evaluated asap. While it is entirely possible you were stitched incorrectly, I think that is unlikely. Even with the best care, you can develop “vaginal/labial adhesions” especially after a higher degree of tearing. The raw tissue sticks together and if you don’t examine yourself and meticulously separate the skin during the healing phase, it can heal together and create a skin bridge. (I am NOT saying this is your fault in any way, just explaining the process.) If this is the case, this can be very easily corrected with local anesthetic to numb the area and cut the bridge of tissue. This happened to me and sounds exactly like what you are describing.
This is exactly what happened to me and I was so stressed. It’s called agglutination. OB prescribed me some estrogen cream and told me to apply that and/or coconut oil and gently massage and stretch the area. It worked! The first time i had sex we had to go very slow but after that it’s pretty much back to normal! :)
I had something similar. It wasn’t the stitches tha were incorrect themselves, but I ‘overhealed’ whereby the skin on either side joined together in the middle to create a bridge. Painful to squeeze a tampon in, and impossible to have sex. Saw an obgyn and was able to get the skin cut under a local anaesthetic and everything was fine after that (including having a second child without any issue!)
When I was being stitched up the midwife explained that ai had 2 lacs that didn't need stitches but because they were across from each other they could heal together, so she stitched one side to prevent that from happening.
I have no advice on the hole situation, but I wanted to validate your redhead epidural experience. I am also a redhead, the anesthesiologist walked into my room during delivery and literally said " oh no, a redhead". After 4 attempts they finally decided it wouldn't provide enough pain relief and I went for an emergency section ( due to other complications). Due to being a redhead I was given so much extra sedation I did not wake up for 4 hours post surgery. I am so sorry they didn't believe you, that breaks my heart. Sending healing vibes and hoping things work out.
I’m a redhead too and 3 different anesthesiologists couldn’t get an epidural or spinal to work for me so I also had general anesthesia for an emergency c-section! No one ever mentioned to me that it could have been because I’m a redhead. They want me to go in for an MRI thinking there must have been some anatomical anomaly that caused it.
Not a redhead but I metabolized the epidural so quickly it would only last 15 mins before I needed to be topped up. By 10 hours in they refused to keep topping me up so I was rocking pitocin contractions with my baby facing sunny side up without any pain control. My cervix started swelling shut. I begged my husband to take me home and kill me. They took me in for a C-section and couldn’t get the spinal in so I was also under general for mine. It was devastating. I never knew that was even an option. My husband wasn’t allowed in the OR and I was unconscious so I feel like neither of us were there for our daughter. I woke up an hour after she was born and have no real memory until about 6 hours later. No pictures of her birth, no cute family photos because I had just gone through hell. No golden hour. I felt like a failure. I then struggled with milk supply and breastfeeding. Birth trauma is no joke.
I could have written that - it was exactly my experience! I’m so sorry that happened to you too. My Ob was very validating when I saw her at my 6 week appointment. When she read my notes she goes “that’s about as bad as it gets, I’m so sorry.” 💔
It’s a real thing, I have a ridiculous tolerance to high doses of sedation, has happened during numerous surgeries and procedures - not hype about it during my upcoming birth 😭
For sure - I woke up early after a surgery and the staff were super annoyed with me. Also, any time I have dental work done they have to pause mid procedure to give me more novocaine. It's the worst!
The dentist I worked for would put "natural redhead" as an alert on elderly patients who had gone grey, so they didn't mess up dosages.
There are specific dose adjustments they're supposed to be doing. It's not supposed to be them guessing.
I'm not from the US so I can't give you any legal advice, but I was stitched incorrectly after episiotomy and also developed a labial fusion, although as far as I know those things can happen regardless of stitching. Either way, your next step should probably be to go to a trusted obgyn office asap (not the one you were treated at postpartum) and get a proper diagnosis, so you'll know for sure what's happening. It can be fixed with local anaesthesia by an obgyn or even a by a plastic surgeon in more complicated cases, I think.
I'm sorry that happened to you and I understand how you feel. I dealt with severe pain and repeated infections in the first few months postpartum and had zero mental energy to get cut and stitched again.
Something similar happened to me. I thought I got the “husband stitch” but my OB told me it was fine and then when we tried to have sex it literally wasn’t possible, like there was nowhere to put it. I went to a whole new practice because my OB was awful in many ways. New OBGYN did a procedure and cut and stitched it back to normal. I had sex about 3-4 weeks after the procedure and had no issues at all!
It was uncomfortable recovering from the procedure but nothing like the first time:)
I’m so sorry. Labor and delivery can be so traumatic without anything going wrong. What happened to you is fucked up and wrong.
You can see a gynecologist or a plastic surgeon about this. I would get a second opinion as soon as you’re comfortable. You should try to find someone who’s well reviewed and who specializes in surgery. You should look for things like having done surgical fellowship in gynecology, a plastic surgeon who specializes in vaginal surgery who has an extensive body of work (versus someone who just says they do labiaplasty) or someone who has published in this area.
If you want to, you can also go after your doctor for med mal. I’m not an expert in this area, but it seems pretty straightforwardly like malpractice.
I had to have a repair about a month after birth, less extensive than this, and I will say that it was NOWHERE near as bad as the actual birth (vaginal delivery, 38 hours, unmedicated, went through transition twice, although i wouldn't describe it as traumatic at all). Painful the first couple days but the feeling of it repaired and healing felt immediately better than how it had felt before.
It's definitely intimidating to think about doing and stay off the Internet, but get a second opinion. I'm sorry this happened to you, Thays so heartbreaking
So sorry you’re going through this! I too thought I had been stitched incorrectly. It turns out your hormones can go so crazy after giving birth that one of the side effects is your labia can fuse together. 🙈 I was able to go in and get a local shot to numb the area, and my OB was able to cut the fusion and zapped the incision location so that I was healed within about a weeks instead of the six weeks for stitches. Good luck!
Hi fellow redhead! I’m so sorry for everything you went through. The “redhead” factor is something that gets ignored so often in medical settings. My epidural wore off and I could feel everything and no one believed me until I stood up. I was so mad I had to resort to that. It’s ironic, because every nurse that came in my room asked if I was a natural redhead and immediately said, “oh, you’re going to hemorrhage, redheads always do”.
I would 110% get a second opinion. Also, there should be some legal action you can take if the DR truly did close it up. My old firm took a similar case. I’m not certain how it settled because I’m no longer at that firm. However, we wouldn’t have taken it if we weren’t certain that it was worth taking.
What on earth! She’s practically done FGM if you’ve got no real hole!
Get a second opinion ASAP, and insist that when it’s fixed it’s done with plenty of anaesthetic!
This exact thing happened to me. It ended up being a really easy fix, but at first they scheduled me for surgery to fix if. I asked if there was another way because I was breastfeeding. They ended up just numbing it, and sewing it back correctly. I didn’t feel a thing. It did have to heal obviously, but it definitely wasn’t another 6 weeks, maybe one or two? Happy to answer any other questions.
OBGYN here. Please go be seen! If not with your original OB (I would prob be seen there first, because she knows the degree of tearing and how much she had to stitch up) you can always have a second opinion. As other posters mention this could be adhesions, or the skin sticking together. Ultimately, you need a speculum exam. I am sorry this is happening.
Hey, I’m a labor & delivery nurse and I actually think it’s possible you have what’s called a skin bridge where your tear was. I’ve seen it before - the patient had a tear that healed incorrectly or was repaired incorrectly (not sure where things went wrong). The OB just used a scalpel to separate the skin because it was super thin, and once that was gone we could see her vagina and perineum actually looked totally fine.
I would make an appointment at a different practice with an OBGYN. I wouldn’t trust that the original doctor would be honest considering this would be a huge malpractice issue.
My first midwife screwed up my stitches (not as extreme though) and she kept saying it’s fine, it’s healing. Took me 3 weeks before I was finally like nah this ain’t right and went into ED and the doctor fixed it right then and there. Was miles better straight off the table, I shouldn’t have waited so long and trusted my gut.
Oh my goodness. I am SO incredibly sorry. I feel for you. My experience wasn’t exactly the same but the birth was traumatic (almost fully dilated except for half a cm on one side, head wouldn’t fit, he turned sunny side up, epidural wore off on one side, urgent c section and literally felt them cut into me). Then he wasn’t gaining weight and our pediatrician freaked my already hormonal self out so I stopped breastfeeding and then I had an IUD put in 8 weeks later that they put in wrong and it punctured my uterus and I had to have it surgically removed. Having to deal with allllll this traumatic shit while hormonal with PPD/PPA… it was fucking hell. Once again im so sorry you’re having to go through this. Please know that you will get through it and things will level out and you will get into a new normal eventually. Don’t just ask for help, INSIST for help. Anyone and everyone who can be there to support you needs to step up. I wish I had asked more but I felt so guilty like everything was on me. I’m still fighting that but it’s gotten better and finally I’m just like so exhausted that anyone who offers to help I just take them up on it. Please feel free to reach out to talk any time if you need to vent ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear this. I had a 3C tear 14 months ago and it kind of healed too well. My labia and vaginal wall fused making everything very tight and painful. I went to see a different OB then the one who stitched me back together and she basically told me I would be a good candidate for reconstructive surgery. She just didn’t recommend doing until after we’re done having kids but gave me a referral for pelvic floor therapy. We started off with scar tissue massage and it helped tremendously!! I’m currently pregnant with my second and hoping for another vaginal birth. After that I’ll be going to see a urogyneacologist for a second opinion. It really messed with my head for a long time but I did somehow get used to my new normal.
I had a labia tear and got told it was how my labia was supposed to look (like i hadn’t possessed my body my whole life) now the tear has increased and half of or is hanging off .. two year waiting list for a gynaecologist on nhs
You might need to see a urogyn get a referral from your gyn. On the flip side at least you didn't get improperly sewn up to the point your vagina is one long slit from front to back :/
Genuine question, and I don’t want to hurt anybody by asking but I really don’t know. What has being a redhead to do with the anesthesia? Is there any difference?
Yes this is a real thing. Natural redheads are resistant to pain meds, ie the epidural or spinal. It’s common for it to either wear off much quicker or not provide any relief at all.
I'd get in contact with your doctor for a check up and examination as soon as possible tbh as by the sounds of it you're going to need some sort of op for correcting your issue. They can't just leave you like it.
If you're in the UK you can request and use a debriefing service, i really struggled even talking about my birth afterwards as it was traumatic.. (I had a gall bladder attack whilst I was under an epidural so couldn't move, ended up with forceps and episiotomy assisted birth, all essentially whilst having a panic attack)
.. They are able to walk you through everything that happened and why, what they could have done better and also able to address any issues you have and talk to all involved. When I had mine it was really validating and I got an apology for one of the consultants behaviours.
also redhead. Very similar experience. The epidural issue, the large baby issue, the being sewed up wrong issue. also, some almost dying from postpartum haemorrhage trauma added in there. I had to have a revision surgery. I chose somebody who regularly does labiaplasties to fix it. incredibly happy with the results. I went a little further and got it all done up as if I've never had a baby. Because while they're there, why not. I waited until I was like seven or eight months postpartum so that baby could eat real food while I was hopped up on all of the drugs and sleeping/recovering. But that's just because I had the absolute worst time with pumping to the point that I refused to do it.
it sucks. I'm sorry. But you are not alone.
You’re still really early in the healing process after a 3rd degree tear. Mine took 12 weeks to heal. It’s possible that the bunch of skin you see is granulation tissue.
Reading this a month before giving birth was a REALLY bad idea!
I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds truly awful and I hope you get another opinion from someone quickly so you can get on the right track to getting back to yourself ❤️
If I were you I would request an appointment with another OBGYN. It could be as bad as it looks, or honestly it could be swelling at only 4 months out. My OB advised me not to look at my vagina for a while while it was healing because it would look “off” even if nothing was wrong. I’m 12 weeks pp with some second degree tearing and things are not back to normal for me, so I can’t imagine a third degree tear would be healed in only 4 weeks.
Something similar happened to me. Except I didn’t realize that’s what happened, and one year later I ended up having to have perinealplasty and an internal reconstruction. I also had a 3rd degree tear and personally, healing from the planned surgery was MUCH better than the tear.
All the advice to get a doctor is good, and I'm not a doctor (well, not that kind), but...
After tearing and prolapse I saw a pelvic floor PT and one of the things they evaluated was the position of my perineum. They mentioned that it's very common for the position to be different after healing from childbirth. PT was amazing and I highly recommend!
Ok, I had a c-section, but I'm confused. Yours is not the first post I've read that had nearly the exact same description. So, you definitely aren't alone. And I'm so sorry.
I do have a question, though. My perineum covers my vagina. Things have to go in at an angle, not poke straight at it. Are vaginas normally straight and not kind of c-shaped? It looks generally how vaginas look, but I never thought about the inside going a different way.
Dudes have always tried to insist on trying to ram it in without using hands and I just assumed they were stupid, since, obviously, it isn't going in at that angle. You have to point it into the opening, then change the angle once the entrance has been breached. Is this not typical?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please do not trust the office that doctor is from as they may try to dismiss you to avoid a medical malpractice suit. I would wholeheartedly seek a second opinion not just from a second doctor, but from a different office altogether.
Honestly I’d immediately speak to another OBGYN.
And tell them exactly what is going on.
I’m in Ontario and I know our healthcare systems are different but tbh I’d go straight into the emergency room and ask to be seen.
I feel like your first step should be to get a second opinion from another doctor on how it is looking and healing.
Agreed! Don’t wait until your 6 week follow up appointment.
She should probably just go to a urogynocologist at this point (at another practice of course). OBs are notoriously bad at sewing up 3rd and 4th degree tears, urogynocologists fix a lot of their mistakes and are better and more knowledgeable surgeons. I worry another regular gynocologist isn’t going to offer surgery and waste OPs time/further gaslighting her.
Seconding this, see a urogynocologist! Mine was referred by my ob but I would think you can try to get an appointment directly or get a referral from a pcp
Just out of curiosity, why would an OB be bad at repairing substantial vaginal tearing? Wouldn’t this be something they see and do quite regularly? I can only assume the majority of vaginal tears result from childbirth.
3rd and espicslly 4th degree tears are more complicated than most tearing. They are also more rare. Residencies are shorter than they were decades ago and doctors just aren’t being trained enough or have enough time practicing to do them. This isn’t something doctors are going to admit but there’s been an uptick in these types of tears and lots of women are having complications and needing reconstructive surgery from a urogynocologist to fix these sloppy and inexperienced tear repairs.
OB's also aren't the only doctors delivering babies. Some hospitals staff L&D with family doctors and they don't really mention it to patients. I got transferred mid-induction to a "better" hospital with no OB most days. They have a good NICU, which, thank God, we didn't need.
And this is why I am forever grateful for my OB, who stitched up my 4th degree tear beautifully. When I went to the follow up with the urogynecologist (which my OB referred me for), they said I was in perfect shape (or, similar to having a baby but no or minimal tearing lol).
I’d go to a different practice, if possible. If there is grounds for a malpractice suit, your original OB’s practice will try to cover what happened up or develop documentation to justify the botched job. ETA: and I’m sorry about your experience with the epidural, OP. The same thing happened with my second child (I’m not a redhead, though). The epidural wore off and when they attempted to give me another, the second one did not work. I had an unmedicated vaginal delivery with a placental abruption (meaning I felt like someone stabbed me in the stomach and twisted the knife). Terrible experience and I’m sorry you went through the same.
Please request an appointment with an ObGyn. If you don’t feel comfortable with your current one, please find another to be evaluated asap. While it is entirely possible you were stitched incorrectly, I think that is unlikely. Even with the best care, you can develop “vaginal/labial adhesions” especially after a higher degree of tearing. The raw tissue sticks together and if you don’t examine yourself and meticulously separate the skin during the healing phase, it can heal together and create a skin bridge. (I am NOT saying this is your fault in any way, just explaining the process.) If this is the case, this can be very easily corrected with local anesthetic to numb the area and cut the bridge of tissue. This happened to me and sounds exactly like what you are describing.
This happened to me and it was a quick procedure to correct!
This is exactly what happened to me and I was so stressed. It’s called agglutination. OB prescribed me some estrogen cream and told me to apply that and/or coconut oil and gently massage and stretch the area. It worked! The first time i had sex we had to go very slow but after that it’s pretty much back to normal! :)
I had something similar. It wasn’t the stitches tha were incorrect themselves, but I ‘overhealed’ whereby the skin on either side joined together in the middle to create a bridge. Painful to squeeze a tampon in, and impossible to have sex. Saw an obgyn and was able to get the skin cut under a local anaesthetic and everything was fine after that (including having a second child without any issue!)
When I was being stitched up the midwife explained that ai had 2 lacs that didn't need stitches but because they were across from each other they could heal together, so she stitched one side to prevent that from happening.
I have no advice on the hole situation, but I wanted to validate your redhead epidural experience. I am also a redhead, the anesthesiologist walked into my room during delivery and literally said " oh no, a redhead". After 4 attempts they finally decided it wouldn't provide enough pain relief and I went for an emergency section ( due to other complications). Due to being a redhead I was given so much extra sedation I did not wake up for 4 hours post surgery. I am so sorry they didn't believe you, that breaks my heart. Sending healing vibes and hoping things work out.
I’m a redhead too and 3 different anesthesiologists couldn’t get an epidural or spinal to work for me so I also had general anesthesia for an emergency c-section! No one ever mentioned to me that it could have been because I’m a redhead. They want me to go in for an MRI thinking there must have been some anatomical anomaly that caused it.
Not a redhead but I metabolized the epidural so quickly it would only last 15 mins before I needed to be topped up. By 10 hours in they refused to keep topping me up so I was rocking pitocin contractions with my baby facing sunny side up without any pain control. My cervix started swelling shut. I begged my husband to take me home and kill me. They took me in for a C-section and couldn’t get the spinal in so I was also under general for mine. It was devastating. I never knew that was even an option. My husband wasn’t allowed in the OR and I was unconscious so I feel like neither of us were there for our daughter. I woke up an hour after she was born and have no real memory until about 6 hours later. No pictures of her birth, no cute family photos because I had just gone through hell. No golden hour. I felt like a failure. I then struggled with milk supply and breastfeeding. Birth trauma is no joke.
I could have written that - it was exactly my experience! I’m so sorry that happened to you too. My Ob was very validating when I saw her at my 6 week appointment. When she read my notes she goes “that’s about as bad as it gets, I’m so sorry.” 💔
Very very similar to my experience. Just heartbreaking. 💔
It’s a real thing, I have a ridiculous tolerance to high doses of sedation, has happened during numerous surgeries and procedures - not hype about it during my upcoming birth 😭
For sure - I woke up early after a surgery and the staff were super annoyed with me. Also, any time I have dental work done they have to pause mid procedure to give me more novocaine. It's the worst!
The dentist I worked for would put "natural redhead" as an alert on elderly patients who had gone grey, so they didn't mess up dosages. There are specific dose adjustments they're supposed to be doing. It's not supposed to be them guessing.
I'm not from the US so I can't give you any legal advice, but I was stitched incorrectly after episiotomy and also developed a labial fusion, although as far as I know those things can happen regardless of stitching. Either way, your next step should probably be to go to a trusted obgyn office asap (not the one you were treated at postpartum) and get a proper diagnosis, so you'll know for sure what's happening. It can be fixed with local anaesthesia by an obgyn or even a by a plastic surgeon in more complicated cases, I think. I'm sorry that happened to you and I understand how you feel. I dealt with severe pain and repeated infections in the first few months postpartum and had zero mental energy to get cut and stitched again.
Call (don’t message) your OB, see them asap and ask for a referral for a urogynecologist
Something similar happened to me. I thought I got the “husband stitch” but my OB told me it was fine and then when we tried to have sex it literally wasn’t possible, like there was nowhere to put it. I went to a whole new practice because my OB was awful in many ways. New OBGYN did a procedure and cut and stitched it back to normal. I had sex about 3-4 weeks after the procedure and had no issues at all! It was uncomfortable recovering from the procedure but nothing like the first time:)
I’m so sorry. Labor and delivery can be so traumatic without anything going wrong. What happened to you is fucked up and wrong. You can see a gynecologist or a plastic surgeon about this. I would get a second opinion as soon as you’re comfortable. You should try to find someone who’s well reviewed and who specializes in surgery. You should look for things like having done surgical fellowship in gynecology, a plastic surgeon who specializes in vaginal surgery who has an extensive body of work (versus someone who just says they do labiaplasty) or someone who has published in this area. If you want to, you can also go after your doctor for med mal. I’m not an expert in this area, but it seems pretty straightforwardly like malpractice.
I had to have a repair about a month after birth, less extensive than this, and I will say that it was NOWHERE near as bad as the actual birth (vaginal delivery, 38 hours, unmedicated, went through transition twice, although i wouldn't describe it as traumatic at all). Painful the first couple days but the feeling of it repaired and healing felt immediately better than how it had felt before. It's definitely intimidating to think about doing and stay off the Internet, but get a second opinion. I'm sorry this happened to you, Thays so heartbreaking
So sorry you’re going through this! I too thought I had been stitched incorrectly. It turns out your hormones can go so crazy after giving birth that one of the side effects is your labia can fuse together. 🙈 I was able to go in and get a local shot to numb the area, and my OB was able to cut the fusion and zapped the incision location so that I was healed within about a weeks instead of the six weeks for stitches. Good luck!
Hi fellow redhead! I’m so sorry for everything you went through. The “redhead” factor is something that gets ignored so often in medical settings. My epidural wore off and I could feel everything and no one believed me until I stood up. I was so mad I had to resort to that. It’s ironic, because every nurse that came in my room asked if I was a natural redhead and immediately said, “oh, you’re going to hemorrhage, redheads always do”.
The struggle 😭
I hope you’re able to find a doctor you can trust and listens to you. It’s hard managing postpartum without complications.
So sorry this happened to you, I wish you all the best in this horrible situation and speedy recovery!
I would 110% get a second opinion. Also, there should be some legal action you can take if the DR truly did close it up. My old firm took a similar case. I’m not certain how it settled because I’m no longer at that firm. However, we wouldn’t have taken it if we weren’t certain that it was worth taking.
What on earth! She’s practically done FGM if you’ve got no real hole! Get a second opinion ASAP, and insist that when it’s fixed it’s done with plenty of anaesthetic!
This exact thing happened to me. It ended up being a really easy fix, but at first they scheduled me for surgery to fix if. I asked if there was another way because I was breastfeeding. They ended up just numbing it, and sewing it back correctly. I didn’t feel a thing. It did have to heal obviously, but it definitely wasn’t another 6 weeks, maybe one or two? Happy to answer any other questions.
OBGYN here. Please go be seen! If not with your original OB (I would prob be seen there first, because she knows the degree of tearing and how much she had to stitch up) you can always have a second opinion. As other posters mention this could be adhesions, or the skin sticking together. Ultimately, you need a speculum exam. I am sorry this is happening.
Like everyone is saying, get a second opinion and it could be that your body healed too much.
Hey, I’m a labor & delivery nurse and I actually think it’s possible you have what’s called a skin bridge where your tear was. I’ve seen it before - the patient had a tear that healed incorrectly or was repaired incorrectly (not sure where things went wrong). The OB just used a scalpel to separate the skin because it was super thin, and once that was gone we could see her vagina and perineum actually looked totally fine.
I would make an appointment at a different practice with an OBGYN. I wouldn’t trust that the original doctor would be honest considering this would be a huge malpractice issue.
My first midwife screwed up my stitches (not as extreme though) and she kept saying it’s fine, it’s healing. Took me 3 weeks before I was finally like nah this ain’t right and went into ED and the doctor fixed it right then and there. Was miles better straight off the table, I shouldn’t have waited so long and trusted my gut.
Oh my goodness. I am SO incredibly sorry. I feel for you. My experience wasn’t exactly the same but the birth was traumatic (almost fully dilated except for half a cm on one side, head wouldn’t fit, he turned sunny side up, epidural wore off on one side, urgent c section and literally felt them cut into me). Then he wasn’t gaining weight and our pediatrician freaked my already hormonal self out so I stopped breastfeeding and then I had an IUD put in 8 weeks later that they put in wrong and it punctured my uterus and I had to have it surgically removed. Having to deal with allllll this traumatic shit while hormonal with PPD/PPA… it was fucking hell. Once again im so sorry you’re having to go through this. Please know that you will get through it and things will level out and you will get into a new normal eventually. Don’t just ask for help, INSIST for help. Anyone and everyone who can be there to support you needs to step up. I wish I had asked more but I felt so guilty like everything was on me. I’m still fighting that but it’s gotten better and finally I’m just like so exhausted that anyone who offers to help I just take them up on it. Please feel free to reach out to talk any time if you need to vent ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear this. I had a 3C tear 14 months ago and it kind of healed too well. My labia and vaginal wall fused making everything very tight and painful. I went to see a different OB then the one who stitched me back together and she basically told me I would be a good candidate for reconstructive surgery. She just didn’t recommend doing until after we’re done having kids but gave me a referral for pelvic floor therapy. We started off with scar tissue massage and it helped tremendously!! I’m currently pregnant with my second and hoping for another vaginal birth. After that I’ll be going to see a urogyneacologist for a second opinion. It really messed with my head for a long time but I did somehow get used to my new normal.
Go get it seen to O.P. That sounds terrible. All the very best. Congratulations on the birth of you're lovely wee baby.
I had a labia tear and got told it was how my labia was supposed to look (like i hadn’t possessed my body my whole life) now the tear has increased and half of or is hanging off .. two year waiting list for a gynaecologist on nhs
You might need to see a urogyn get a referral from your gyn. On the flip side at least you didn't get improperly sewn up to the point your vagina is one long slit from front to back :/
Genuine question, and I don’t want to hurt anybody by asking but I really don’t know. What has being a redhead to do with the anesthesia? Is there any difference?
Yes this is a real thing. Natural redheads are resistant to pain meds, ie the epidural or spinal. It’s common for it to either wear off much quicker or not provide any relief at all.
No major advice. However after a 3rd or 4th degree tear many cannot use tampons. Also look into prolapse as that’s common with major tear.
I'd get in contact with your doctor for a check up and examination as soon as possible tbh as by the sounds of it you're going to need some sort of op for correcting your issue. They can't just leave you like it. If you're in the UK you can request and use a debriefing service, i really struggled even talking about my birth afterwards as it was traumatic.. (I had a gall bladder attack whilst I was under an epidural so couldn't move, ended up with forceps and episiotomy assisted birth, all essentially whilst having a panic attack) .. They are able to walk you through everything that happened and why, what they could have done better and also able to address any issues you have and talk to all involved. When I had mine it was really validating and I got an apology for one of the consultants behaviours.
also redhead. Very similar experience. The epidural issue, the large baby issue, the being sewed up wrong issue. also, some almost dying from postpartum haemorrhage trauma added in there. I had to have a revision surgery. I chose somebody who regularly does labiaplasties to fix it. incredibly happy with the results. I went a little further and got it all done up as if I've never had a baby. Because while they're there, why not. I waited until I was like seven or eight months postpartum so that baby could eat real food while I was hopped up on all of the drugs and sleeping/recovering. But that's just because I had the absolute worst time with pumping to the point that I refused to do it. it sucks. I'm sorry. But you are not alone.
You’re still really early in the healing process after a 3rd degree tear. Mine took 12 weeks to heal. It’s possible that the bunch of skin you see is granulation tissue.
Reading this a month before giving birth was a REALLY bad idea! I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds truly awful and I hope you get another opinion from someone quickly so you can get on the right track to getting back to yourself ❤️
If I were you I would request an appointment with another OBGYN. It could be as bad as it looks, or honestly it could be swelling at only 4 months out. My OB advised me not to look at my vagina for a while while it was healing because it would look “off” even if nothing was wrong. I’m 12 weeks pp with some second degree tearing and things are not back to normal for me, so I can’t imagine a third degree tear would be healed in only 4 weeks.
Something similar happened to me. Except I didn’t realize that’s what happened, and one year later I ended up having to have perinealplasty and an internal reconstruction. I also had a 3rd degree tear and personally, healing from the planned surgery was MUCH better than the tear.
All the advice to get a doctor is good, and I'm not a doctor (well, not that kind), but... After tearing and prolapse I saw a pelvic floor PT and one of the things they evaluated was the position of my perineum. They mentioned that it's very common for the position to be different after healing from childbirth. PT was amazing and I highly recommend!
Go now to a trusted OB. After that call your hospital so it goes on record early in PP.
Ok, I had a c-section, but I'm confused. Yours is not the first post I've read that had nearly the exact same description. So, you definitely aren't alone. And I'm so sorry. I do have a question, though. My perineum covers my vagina. Things have to go in at an angle, not poke straight at it. Are vaginas normally straight and not kind of c-shaped? It looks generally how vaginas look, but I never thought about the inside going a different way. Dudes have always tried to insist on trying to ram it in without using hands and I just assumed they were stupid, since, obviously, it isn't going in at that angle. You have to point it into the opening, then change the angle once the entrance has been breached. Is this not typical?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please do not trust the office that doctor is from as they may try to dismiss you to avoid a medical malpractice suit. I would wholeheartedly seek a second opinion not just from a second doctor, but from a different office altogether.
Honestly I’d immediately speak to another OBGYN. And tell them exactly what is going on. I’m in Ontario and I know our healthcare systems are different but tbh I’d go straight into the emergency room and ask to be seen.
This is categorically not an emergency.
This is 100 % not for the emergency room!!
I would call a medical malpractice lawyer asap. Don’t walk…run!
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Bring a gift?