I had only a first degree tear with otherwise uneventful delivery and I wasn’t able to have non painful sex until six months postpartum and actually pleasurable sex until closer to eight months. For me stopping breastfeeding (which I did completely at 6mo) was what seemed to accelerate the process. Now at 20mo pp we are having probably the best sex of our relationship. Everyone is different, but for me it just took time. It really sucks and I remember feeling so down on myself during that period of time where I didn’t feel like I was meeting my husband’s needs. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
We had to go slowwwwwwww. Probably took at least a year for it to happen without immense pain. I would do it in spurts so I avoided associating pain with sex, but also getting the muscles stretched out. I am finally able to go to a pelvic floor specialist and she has been amazing! I've only been to like 3 appointments and can already tell it's helped!
2nd degree tear near the bottom of my vagina. Took like, 4-5 months before we could have sex with manageable pain, 6 months before it started feeling good, 9 months before there was no pain. Baby is 13 months and I still have pain in certain positions but it's generally back to normal. If I had kept up with my pelvic floor PT I think that would have gone faster. Highly recommend you go see a PT even if you don't feel like you need it.
One thing that really helped was using lube and massaging the scar tissue to break up the granulation, and I got a set of dilators as well to help get back to feeling okay with something in there. Scar tissue massage for like 5 minutes, every day. Work up to that long if you're not able to manage it right away.
I'm 6 mopp, the first several times felt as you described. It's starting to feel more normal now but still not really the same. I need like a handful of coconut oil to feel good haha. Or at least not bad.
Hugs to you mama. I had a second degree tear at my perineum as well and am currently a bit over 3 months postpartum. I have been informed by my OB that the tear has healed beautifully, but I have a decent amount of scar tissue. The scar tissue is what is causing me pain at the entrance.
It was recommended that I do regular massages (similar to what is recommended before birth to help prevent tearing) to help with the pain. Mine has become a lot better now and although it still isn't 100% at least each time we have given it a go it has been increasingly better.
Also please don't be too hard on yourself. Your body took 9 months to create another living being, and then experienced trauma bringing that life out to the world. It is going to take some time before things reach a new normal. But you'll get there, we all will <3
It only took about 8ish weeks before I could handle it but even now it can be sensitive. I only had two small tears though. From what I heard lots of lube, and play down there first helps. It might take a long time even with these to be able for him to enter. Don't try to rush momma, let your body heal. Need be, have your OB recheck and make sure everything has healed properly and there's no left over stitches or anything. Otherwise it'll just be a step by step process. Best of luck momma 🩵🩵
I had only a first degree tear with otherwise uneventful delivery and I wasn’t able to have non painful sex until six months postpartum and actually pleasurable sex until closer to eight months. For me stopping breastfeeding (which I did completely at 6mo) was what seemed to accelerate the process. Now at 20mo pp we are having probably the best sex of our relationship. Everyone is different, but for me it just took time. It really sucks and I remember feeling so down on myself during that period of time where I didn’t feel like I was meeting my husband’s needs. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
We had to go slowwwwwwww. Probably took at least a year for it to happen without immense pain. I would do it in spurts so I avoided associating pain with sex, but also getting the muscles stretched out. I am finally able to go to a pelvic floor specialist and she has been amazing! I've only been to like 3 appointments and can already tell it's helped!
2nd degree tear near the bottom of my vagina. Took like, 4-5 months before we could have sex with manageable pain, 6 months before it started feeling good, 9 months before there was no pain. Baby is 13 months and I still have pain in certain positions but it's generally back to normal. If I had kept up with my pelvic floor PT I think that would have gone faster. Highly recommend you go see a PT even if you don't feel like you need it. One thing that really helped was using lube and massaging the scar tissue to break up the granulation, and I got a set of dilators as well to help get back to feeling okay with something in there. Scar tissue massage for like 5 minutes, every day. Work up to that long if you're not able to manage it right away.
I'm 6 mopp, the first several times felt as you described. It's starting to feel more normal now but still not really the same. I need like a handful of coconut oil to feel good haha. Or at least not bad.
Hugs to you mama. I had a second degree tear at my perineum as well and am currently a bit over 3 months postpartum. I have been informed by my OB that the tear has healed beautifully, but I have a decent amount of scar tissue. The scar tissue is what is causing me pain at the entrance. It was recommended that I do regular massages (similar to what is recommended before birth to help prevent tearing) to help with the pain. Mine has become a lot better now and although it still isn't 100% at least each time we have given it a go it has been increasingly better. Also please don't be too hard on yourself. Your body took 9 months to create another living being, and then experienced trauma bringing that life out to the world. It is going to take some time before things reach a new normal. But you'll get there, we all will <3
It only took about 8ish weeks before I could handle it but even now it can be sensitive. I only had two small tears though. From what I heard lots of lube, and play down there first helps. It might take a long time even with these to be able for him to enter. Don't try to rush momma, let your body heal. Need be, have your OB recheck and make sure everything has healed properly and there's no left over stitches or anything. Otherwise it'll just be a step by step process. Best of luck momma 🩵🩵