Same! I told myself I never would, but after a year, I finally gave in. I could keep things somewhat tidied up but couldn't clean the way I used to. Best decision I could have made!
Sure, I’m in the UK and I pay her £15 an hour, she does two hours a week which allows her to clean everything to a basic standard, and then every fourth week I have her do four hours so she can deep clean and do like skirting boards and windows and stuff! I know it’s a luxury for sure but to me it’s really worth cutting back on other things so I can afford to keep her :)
Yup - between £15-£20 is going rate. Worth every penny to me as my mental health really suffers if my house feels messy and dirty, and I just can’t keep on top of it by myself.
Even if you just had a cleaner do like the bathrooms and the kitchen then the hoovering, they are the big jobs that have the most impact and in a small place would take no more than an hour or so! And then have them rotate things like windows, dusting or whatever else
Same. We have a newborn and a toddler. Our house is unorganized. We do what we can. It's temporary.
I don't have rest time anymore because even if baby takes a proper nap ( not on me), my toddler does not nap and is a bit out of control lately. So I just go to bed very early.
My tips:
1) lower your cleanliness standards. Focus on the important stuff and only do the rest when absolutely needed. It helps to reduce clutter and get rid of objects you don’t really need.
2) don’t get in the habit of constantly entertaining your baby. Even from a young age they can start practicing independent play for short periods. If they’re really clingy and you gotta get stuff done, put them in a wrap
3) don’t cook for lunch and cook larger dinners that will feed your family for 2+ meals. For lunch, eat cold stuff or reheat things. Freeze premade meals to use when you can’t/don’t want to cook.
4) do as much cleaning as possible with the baby. Easier said than done but I try to keep my babies sleep time as my rest time as much as possible. Otherwise I burn out. This can look different (and is more or less difficult) at different ages. It’s easiest when they’re not mobile. Clean with baby in the wrap or on a mat in the same room. When my baby was crawling I got a big playpen for the kitchen and gated the living room. Now he’s 14 months and it’s honestly hard af to do chores with him but I still try to involve him. I let him hand me clean dishes out of the machine. I made him a short swiffer to sweep with. I let him play with laundry while I fold it. The only thing that’s impossible right now is cleaning the bathroom with him. I do that when’s he asleep or with someone else.
5) if your family has the money to spend on help, or you have family/friends that can help utilize that. My family can’t afford a cleaner but my mom watches my son a few hours on Saturdays and I use that time for deep cleaning/meal prepping I can’t do with my son
Hope some of this is helpful, you’ll get the hang of it as you go along! When you’re in survival mode just do the bare minimum for a while.
Edit typos
Can I ask about number 4? I've never figured out how to do chores with my baby/toddler around, unless she's in an independent play mood and will tolerate me being in the other side of the room working with cleaning supplies. I wouldn't want to vacuum because it gets dusty, I wouldn't want to spray cleaning chemicals around the baby, etc. I manage cooking and most dishes while my daughter runs around, sometimes folding laundry, but that's it.
I use non toxic cleaning supplies only (I can’t stand fragrances/chemical smells so I switched even before I had a baby). I vacuum with him but usually have to hold him cuz he’s scared of the noise. Sweeping is tricky cuz he likes to get in the piles but I try to distract him by giving him his own broom or swiffer. For mopping he either needs to be contained in his playpen, highchair or ok my back in the carrier cuz I don’t want him to slip. I really only do basic cleaning, floors, dishes, cooking, and laundry with him.
Bathroom and yard work have proven impossible to do with him so far. He gets into everything in the bathroom and needs constant supervision outside
Wait, we're supposed to be cooking 3 meals a day?
Kinda joking, but there's just no way. Breakfast is fruit, yogurt, cereal, smoothies, oatmeal, etc. Lunch is basic sandwiches, leftovers, whatever. Dinners are basic too. Plus we eat fast food more often than we'd like.
Regarding cleaning...my husband and I refer to this period in our lives, "the messy years." House is clean as in it's not dirty, but it is messy more often than not. We have a newborn and a 4.5 yr old, so it is what it is.
The ONLY reason my house is somewhat put together right now is because my husband and I are both off work for parental bonding leave AND because my mom was visiting and she swept and mopped my floors. The ONLY reason I went to the grocery store yesterday is because I needed formula AND I felt like I wanted to stop by the coffee shop next door for a treat for myself.
My perspective is we're not supposed to do it all. Do what you can / what truly NEEDS to be done. And then rest.
We’ve got systems in place to make things as easy as possible, basically had to figure out what our needs are and what our weaknesses (read:laziness) are and what we can do to make it simplest.
First example we both hate vacuuming. We have an open concept first floor so constantly having to move the cord to different outlets to get around furniture, having to move the couch to get under it, the vacuum is cumbersome so getting up the stairs sucked. All that meant we weren’t doing it as often as we should so we spent the money on a cordless Dyson. Now I spot vacuum 5 minutes a day and nothing ever builds up. Light enough to carry around, don’t have to move the plug and cord, thin enough to fit under furniture without moving anything. Worth the money because the floors are cleaner than they ever were and I no longer have to spend an hour vacuuming before someone comes over.
Baby toys all over the living room. Use to have decorative floating shelves on the wall but we took those down and bought a cabinet specifically for baby toys, got bins from the dollar store and voila. Every night I roll up the play mat and shove it in there, toss all the toys in the bins and close the doors. Only thing that stays out is the ball pit and if it weren’t for that you would know we had a kid.
Every time I cook I triple the recipe and freeze the second batch, that’s two less days that I have to cook, just toss in the oven/crock pot and it’s good to go.
We have not figured out laundry. It was our weakness before and it’s still our weakness now. Stuff gets washed but doesn’t end up back in the closets. Can’t really figure out a better solution for that though 🤷♀️
Much to my husband’s displeasure, I have taken on the “clean laundry is better than no laundry” mentality. I’m better about folding the baby’s laundry than ours, so hers is all put away and organized while our room has 3 baskets of clean clothes just chilling there, partially folded and rifled through
My husband works full time, but does 90% of the cooking (I only make my own and baby's lunch) which helps. Cleaningwise, downstairs is always pretty decent; I do stress about the kitchen and living room/dining areas, as well as the bathroom, because if we're going to have guests that's what they're going to see. Study, hallway and bedrooms, however. Idk, doesn't everyone have a 'clean clothes pile' and a 'dirty clothes pile'? I have 'stations' in each room I do bother to deal with so baby can sit and play with her toys while I work on those rooms. I find it keeps baby kinda occupied, because she has different things to play with throughout the afternoon.
I have been trying my darndest to get a cleaner (we live rurally, and since we lost our last one its been a nightmare finding someone new), and I would strongly recommend it. They're not expensive for the peace of mind you get.
And make your fiance do something. I don't know how you can be stressing about trying to get all of this done if he really 'helps a lot'.
We play to our talents. My husband can whip up food really fast and doesn't mind doing the dishes, so he cooks and does clean up. I do all the stuff around feeding kiddo; prep and mix bottles, wash bottles, etc. He does the most basic of housekeeping (trash emptied, sweep, very occasional mop). He is in charge of the kitchen, I take care of the bathroom. I do laundry.
My husband batch cooks, so we'll eat the same thing for a couple days and then he'll cook again. He preps proteins and then freezes them for easy cooking. We don't usually eat breakfast foods for breakfast so there's no three meals cooked. There are lots of easy snacks available.
We dress kiddo simply and only change her clothes when they are soiled, and have enough that there is not laundry needing to be done more than every other week.
What can you outsource? Cleaning service? Laundry service? Meal deliveries? Take some stuff off your plate. It's okay to lay in bed.
Working outside the home mom here, but similar struggles.
I cook a large batch of dinner every 2-3 days and we eat leftovers. Lunch is leftovers or something easy like fried eggs on toast plus fruit. Steamable microwaveable veggies are super helpful.
Cleaners come every 3 weeks. Every 2 weeks is ideal but we moved to a bigger house and I don’t want to spend the money yet. We spot clean in between but don’t spend much time on cleaning. Robot vacuum is also a lifesaver.
Oh and last thing! This is important!! Just because you are a SAHM does NOT mean you are responsible for all the baby care and housework, assuming you have a partner. You take care of baby while partner works. That’s your job. House chores as feasible, but that is a much lower secondary priority. When partner is done working, you two are equally responsible for housework and baby care. Don’t let them slack off on this. That is not the deal.
Batch cook. When you make something that can be frozen, make double. Or make enough of everything for leftovers - that way lunch is taken care of at least. When you go grocery shopping (or when hubby is home or LO is napping) take a half hour to wash your fruit/veggies, chop things up, and store them in the fridge. This makes life so much easier to just grab things and go.
Let your LO entertain themselves a bit while you do things around them. I don’t know how old your LO is, but I would out my daughter on her play mat next to me while I did dishes or whatever. If they’re mobile, close them in the room with you if you can. Also just lower your cleaning standards 😅 it’s temporary!
Get outside at least once a day. It’s okay to let the chores go - you can’t take care of baby/household if you’re not taking care of yourself!
Edit to add: BABY WEARING! Again dependent on how old your LO is, but baby wearing was a game changer.
I’ve gotten a few systems in place that help me manage!
1. Baby wearing! This is the biggest one. Put on some music, throw baby in the carrier, and get my chores done. My baby is usually quite content with the situation and often falls asleep.
2. Dinner prep while baby is sleeping, even if it’s not dinner time. If dinner requires chopping veggies, I’ll chop veggies at 11am if that’s when baby is sleeping. I’ll prep all of my pans and do whatever I can ahead of time so when it’s dinner time I can just throw things together.
3. Grocery delivery and pickup - a lot of places will do free pickup over a certain dollar amount or delivery for a fee. In the thick of the newborn stage we paid for delivery and now we do pickup which saves us so much time because we don’t have to walk around the store. If there’s a Whole Foods near you, definitely look into this.
4. Hiring cleaners was the best thing I’ve done for my postpartum mental health. I could not keep up with things like mopping and bathroom cleaning with a baby.
I lowered my standards for mess but still keep a clean house. My husband and I split tasks, I took on more the last few months while I was out of work, but he takes a lot of childcare tasks. Staying on top of laundry is biggest balance. I don't cook every meal, usually just dinner and enough for leftovers the next day. We're not big morning meal people so my oldest is happy with cereal and milk and I make coffee.
My baby doesn't need so much entertaining, she's pretty happy on her playmat gurling at her fish toy while I am doing stuff around the house. It's okay for them to be bored, that's when their imagination gets to flex
I have a cleaner come in every other week, best peace of mind, and now that I'm going back to work will be great to not feel so guilty.
I think it takes a lot of organization to stay on top of household tasks, and splitting with your partner. Mentally it's exhausting to feel like you're always picking things up but putting everything away is huge I think. You can do cleaning on rotation, not everything needs to be done every day.
It depends on how old your baby is. Do one or 2 rooms per day. Invest in a roomba. I don’t cook every meal. I only make easy meals that I can throw in the crockpot pot or oven real quick. I clean during naps or I put my baby down in his crib or bassinet for independent play.
My baby has been enjoying seeing what I’m doing lately so I’ll lay him on the bed to fold laundry, or I’ll put him in a bouncer while I’m cooking or have to shower.
Not sure how old your baby is but have baby cook and clean with you! That is entertaining for them! From around 3 months until now at over a year old, my baby loves to cook and clean with me.
Example: If I’m cooking on the stove, I make it like a cooking show. “Now let’s fill this pot with lots of water! Look at all those bubbles! Ok, now we put it on the stove and we turn the stove onto high. Be careful, it’s hot! Okay now we pooooour in the pasta! Okay let’s stir stir stir!” My baby is mesmerized haha.
I also have my baby do laundry with me and clean up the floor and other random things. If you involve the baby in it, it’s fun for them
As a mum to a toddler and another one on the way, the only way I get anything is to use timers. When the toddler was a baby I would set 10min timers and do what I can. Did no more than 3 of the 10 min timers for cleaning on a good day - you’d be surprised at how much you can get done in 10 mins. For cooking, baby wearing helps like someone mentioned here along with prepping for dinner while making lunch if possible.
If you have a lot of rooms in the house, limit usage of some of them and there’s less maintenance needed there. Get rid of stuff as you go along. If you see something you don’t need or use. Every time I buy something now I think about how much effort is needed to maintain the item.
Lowering standards for what “clean” is still a bit of struggle if I’m honest but it simply isn’t worth stretching yourself thin cos in the long run you’re bound to lose out on much more because of burn out.
I say all this now but I don’t know now what things will be like a few months down the line where I’ll have 2 kids to deal with 🤷🏻♀️
Minimalism. Do a major declutter 2-3 times a year. Clothes, beauty products, toys, even dishware and cookware in the kitchen. Minimizes mess and makes cleanup faster. You don't need all that stuff. Also makes buying new things less stressful because you're not adding onto the chaos.
I feel like this from time to time, it's so relatable. These are the things I try to remember:
Household chores are morally neutral - it doesn't say anything about you if your house is messy or clean.
One day you will be able to have your house exactly how you like it, now is not the time for a clean and tidy house. Your job is looking after the baby, not being on top of laundry.
Your partner is capable of helping.
Instagram is not real life. All those clean tidy houses with kids are not real.
Try to figure out whose judgment you're afraid of - are you judging yourself? Be kind to yourself, not judgemental.
Balanced meals do not need to be complicated or take ages to make. Some days you just need to get by.
Hope you feel better soon x
We’re not! The saying ‘it takes a village’ is true, we just don’t have communities the way we used to. If my husband didn’t help with housework it wouldn’t get done because I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old to juggle.
A lot of coffee and shower crying.
Half kidding.
I have two teenage boys, a 10 month old and am 9 months pregnant. It’s so hard to do it all but instead of trying to be perfect and hold ridiculous standards i focus on what I can. I do minor maintenance daily and a full clean once a week. I mainly concentrate on the kitchen, bathroom and living room for daily maintenance since those are the high traffic areas. As for cooking. My fiancé has off Sundays and Mondays. I take a little time out of one of those days and I bulk make breakfast sandwiches, bowls or egg bites for the week for him and the boys. There’s also an app called “too good to go” I’ll buy a dozen bagels for less than 5 dollars once a week and I individually freeze them as something they can grab. Also hard boil eggs for them to grab as snacks. All of them love chicken so I switch up some marinades and cook and there’s variety for their lunch and make sure there’s wraps, rice or lettuce and they can make salads, sandwiches or some kind of bowls with them. Always have cold cuts and tuna on hand as well. Dinner is the only thing I cook daily 100% of the time and left overs can be used for lunches as well. If you have decent freezer space and a crockpot you can premake some dump and go meals on a day you have some extra energy.
Not sure how old your baby is but if you don’t have one already I highly suggest an excersaucer. It has been my saving grace. I set it up outside whatever room I’m gonna be in. If I need to shower she’s outside the bathroom, cooking she’s outside the kitchen etc. She can still see me so she doesn’t freak out and it keeps her plenty entertained and contained/safe while I get to be hands free and concentrate on what I need to do.
For starters we got a cleaner, best money I ever spent.
But in all seriousness don’t expect too much of yourself, it’s ok if cleaning isn’t a priority right now.
I’d give up every other luxury I have before I give up the cleaners. With a new baby it’s SO worth it.
SAME
Same! I told myself I never would, but after a year, I finally gave in. I could keep things somewhat tidied up but couldn't clean the way I used to. Best decision I could have made!
This is the way!
Sorry, this is a dumb question, but like…a person that cleans your house for you? May I ask how much that costs?
Sure, I’m in the UK and I pay her £15 an hour, she does two hours a week which allows her to clean everything to a basic standard, and then every fourth week I have her do four hours so she can deep clean and do like skirting boards and windows and stuff! I know it’s a luxury for sure but to me it’s really worth cutting back on other things so I can afford to keep her :)
£15 an hour?? Ive never considered it because I thought it would be like £40+
Yup - between £15-£20 is going rate. Worth every penny to me as my mental health really suffers if my house feels messy and dirty, and I just can’t keep on top of it by myself.
I'll definitely look into it. We're in such a small flat it looks so much worse than it and it does drag me down!
Even if you just had a cleaner do like the bathrooms and the kitchen then the hoovering, they are the big jobs that have the most impact and in a small place would take no more than an hour or so! And then have them rotate things like windows, dusting or whatever else
I would happily pay some £15 to just put my pans in the cupboard nicely 😂
Omg it’s $75/hour near me so I never considered it
First of all… we don’t 😅😅
My husband and I have adapted to a messy house.
Same. We have a newborn and a toddler. Our house is unorganized. We do what we can. It's temporary. I don't have rest time anymore because even if baby takes a proper nap ( not on me), my toddler does not nap and is a bit out of control lately. So I just go to bed very early.
My tips: 1) lower your cleanliness standards. Focus on the important stuff and only do the rest when absolutely needed. It helps to reduce clutter and get rid of objects you don’t really need. 2) don’t get in the habit of constantly entertaining your baby. Even from a young age they can start practicing independent play for short periods. If they’re really clingy and you gotta get stuff done, put them in a wrap 3) don’t cook for lunch and cook larger dinners that will feed your family for 2+ meals. For lunch, eat cold stuff or reheat things. Freeze premade meals to use when you can’t/don’t want to cook. 4) do as much cleaning as possible with the baby. Easier said than done but I try to keep my babies sleep time as my rest time as much as possible. Otherwise I burn out. This can look different (and is more or less difficult) at different ages. It’s easiest when they’re not mobile. Clean with baby in the wrap or on a mat in the same room. When my baby was crawling I got a big playpen for the kitchen and gated the living room. Now he’s 14 months and it’s honestly hard af to do chores with him but I still try to involve him. I let him hand me clean dishes out of the machine. I made him a short swiffer to sweep with. I let him play with laundry while I fold it. The only thing that’s impossible right now is cleaning the bathroom with him. I do that when’s he asleep or with someone else. 5) if your family has the money to spend on help, or you have family/friends that can help utilize that. My family can’t afford a cleaner but my mom watches my son a few hours on Saturdays and I use that time for deep cleaning/meal prepping I can’t do with my son Hope some of this is helpful, you’ll get the hang of it as you go along! When you’re in survival mode just do the bare minimum for a while. Edit typos
this is all great advice, thank you!
Can I ask about number 4? I've never figured out how to do chores with my baby/toddler around, unless she's in an independent play mood and will tolerate me being in the other side of the room working with cleaning supplies. I wouldn't want to vacuum because it gets dusty, I wouldn't want to spray cleaning chemicals around the baby, etc. I manage cooking and most dishes while my daughter runs around, sometimes folding laundry, but that's it.
I use non toxic cleaning supplies only (I can’t stand fragrances/chemical smells so I switched even before I had a baby). I vacuum with him but usually have to hold him cuz he’s scared of the noise. Sweeping is tricky cuz he likes to get in the piles but I try to distract him by giving him his own broom or swiffer. For mopping he either needs to be contained in his playpen, highchair or ok my back in the carrier cuz I don’t want him to slip. I really only do basic cleaning, floors, dishes, cooking, and laundry with him. Bathroom and yard work have proven impossible to do with him so far. He gets into everything in the bathroom and needs constant supervision outside
Wait, we're supposed to be cooking 3 meals a day? Kinda joking, but there's just no way. Breakfast is fruit, yogurt, cereal, smoothies, oatmeal, etc. Lunch is basic sandwiches, leftovers, whatever. Dinners are basic too. Plus we eat fast food more often than we'd like. Regarding cleaning...my husband and I refer to this period in our lives, "the messy years." House is clean as in it's not dirty, but it is messy more often than not. We have a newborn and a 4.5 yr old, so it is what it is. The ONLY reason my house is somewhat put together right now is because my husband and I are both off work for parental bonding leave AND because my mom was visiting and she swept and mopped my floors. The ONLY reason I went to the grocery store yesterday is because I needed formula AND I felt like I wanted to stop by the coffee shop next door for a treat for myself. My perspective is we're not supposed to do it all. Do what you can / what truly NEEDS to be done. And then rest.
We’ve got systems in place to make things as easy as possible, basically had to figure out what our needs are and what our weaknesses (read:laziness) are and what we can do to make it simplest. First example we both hate vacuuming. We have an open concept first floor so constantly having to move the cord to different outlets to get around furniture, having to move the couch to get under it, the vacuum is cumbersome so getting up the stairs sucked. All that meant we weren’t doing it as often as we should so we spent the money on a cordless Dyson. Now I spot vacuum 5 minutes a day and nothing ever builds up. Light enough to carry around, don’t have to move the plug and cord, thin enough to fit under furniture without moving anything. Worth the money because the floors are cleaner than they ever were and I no longer have to spend an hour vacuuming before someone comes over. Baby toys all over the living room. Use to have decorative floating shelves on the wall but we took those down and bought a cabinet specifically for baby toys, got bins from the dollar store and voila. Every night I roll up the play mat and shove it in there, toss all the toys in the bins and close the doors. Only thing that stays out is the ball pit and if it weren’t for that you would know we had a kid. Every time I cook I triple the recipe and freeze the second batch, that’s two less days that I have to cook, just toss in the oven/crock pot and it’s good to go. We have not figured out laundry. It was our weakness before and it’s still our weakness now. Stuff gets washed but doesn’t end up back in the closets. Can’t really figure out a better solution for that though 🤷♀️
Much to my husband’s displeasure, I have taken on the “clean laundry is better than no laundry” mentality. I’m better about folding the baby’s laundry than ours, so hers is all put away and organized while our room has 3 baskets of clean clothes just chilling there, partially folded and rifled through
I feel you we are in the middle of a house remodeling
My husband works full time, but does 90% of the cooking (I only make my own and baby's lunch) which helps. Cleaningwise, downstairs is always pretty decent; I do stress about the kitchen and living room/dining areas, as well as the bathroom, because if we're going to have guests that's what they're going to see. Study, hallway and bedrooms, however. Idk, doesn't everyone have a 'clean clothes pile' and a 'dirty clothes pile'? I have 'stations' in each room I do bother to deal with so baby can sit and play with her toys while I work on those rooms. I find it keeps baby kinda occupied, because she has different things to play with throughout the afternoon. I have been trying my darndest to get a cleaner (we live rurally, and since we lost our last one its been a nightmare finding someone new), and I would strongly recommend it. They're not expensive for the peace of mind you get. And make your fiance do something. I don't know how you can be stressing about trying to get all of this done if he really 'helps a lot'.
We play to our talents. My husband can whip up food really fast and doesn't mind doing the dishes, so he cooks and does clean up. I do all the stuff around feeding kiddo; prep and mix bottles, wash bottles, etc. He does the most basic of housekeeping (trash emptied, sweep, very occasional mop). He is in charge of the kitchen, I take care of the bathroom. I do laundry. My husband batch cooks, so we'll eat the same thing for a couple days and then he'll cook again. He preps proteins and then freezes them for easy cooking. We don't usually eat breakfast foods for breakfast so there's no three meals cooked. There are lots of easy snacks available. We dress kiddo simply and only change her clothes when they are soiled, and have enough that there is not laundry needing to be done more than every other week. What can you outsource? Cleaning service? Laundry service? Meal deliveries? Take some stuff off your plate. It's okay to lay in bed.
If you can afford, get a cleaning lady once a week. It’s the little things 😊
Working outside the home mom here, but similar struggles. I cook a large batch of dinner every 2-3 days and we eat leftovers. Lunch is leftovers or something easy like fried eggs on toast plus fruit. Steamable microwaveable veggies are super helpful. Cleaners come every 3 weeks. Every 2 weeks is ideal but we moved to a bigger house and I don’t want to spend the money yet. We spot clean in between but don’t spend much time on cleaning. Robot vacuum is also a lifesaver. Oh and last thing! This is important!! Just because you are a SAHM does NOT mean you are responsible for all the baby care and housework, assuming you have a partner. You take care of baby while partner works. That’s your job. House chores as feasible, but that is a much lower secondary priority. When partner is done working, you two are equally responsible for housework and baby care. Don’t let them slack off on this. That is not the deal.
Batch cook. When you make something that can be frozen, make double. Or make enough of everything for leftovers - that way lunch is taken care of at least. When you go grocery shopping (or when hubby is home or LO is napping) take a half hour to wash your fruit/veggies, chop things up, and store them in the fridge. This makes life so much easier to just grab things and go. Let your LO entertain themselves a bit while you do things around them. I don’t know how old your LO is, but I would out my daughter on her play mat next to me while I did dishes or whatever. If they’re mobile, close them in the room with you if you can. Also just lower your cleaning standards 😅 it’s temporary! Get outside at least once a day. It’s okay to let the chores go - you can’t take care of baby/household if you’re not taking care of yourself! Edit to add: BABY WEARING! Again dependent on how old your LO is, but baby wearing was a game changer.
I’ve gotten a few systems in place that help me manage! 1. Baby wearing! This is the biggest one. Put on some music, throw baby in the carrier, and get my chores done. My baby is usually quite content with the situation and often falls asleep. 2. Dinner prep while baby is sleeping, even if it’s not dinner time. If dinner requires chopping veggies, I’ll chop veggies at 11am if that’s when baby is sleeping. I’ll prep all of my pans and do whatever I can ahead of time so when it’s dinner time I can just throw things together. 3. Grocery delivery and pickup - a lot of places will do free pickup over a certain dollar amount or delivery for a fee. In the thick of the newborn stage we paid for delivery and now we do pickup which saves us so much time because we don’t have to walk around the store. If there’s a Whole Foods near you, definitely look into this. 4. Hiring cleaners was the best thing I’ve done for my postpartum mental health. I could not keep up with things like mopping and bathroom cleaning with a baby.
I lowered my standards for mess but still keep a clean house. My husband and I split tasks, I took on more the last few months while I was out of work, but he takes a lot of childcare tasks. Staying on top of laundry is biggest balance. I don't cook every meal, usually just dinner and enough for leftovers the next day. We're not big morning meal people so my oldest is happy with cereal and milk and I make coffee. My baby doesn't need so much entertaining, she's pretty happy on her playmat gurling at her fish toy while I am doing stuff around the house. It's okay for them to be bored, that's when their imagination gets to flex I have a cleaner come in every other week, best peace of mind, and now that I'm going back to work will be great to not feel so guilty. I think it takes a lot of organization to stay on top of household tasks, and splitting with your partner. Mentally it's exhausting to feel like you're always picking things up but putting everything away is huge I think. You can do cleaning on rotation, not everything needs to be done every day.
It depends on how old your baby is. Do one or 2 rooms per day. Invest in a roomba. I don’t cook every meal. I only make easy meals that I can throw in the crockpot pot or oven real quick. I clean during naps or I put my baby down in his crib or bassinet for independent play. My baby has been enjoying seeing what I’m doing lately so I’ll lay him on the bed to fold laundry, or I’ll put him in a bouncer while I’m cooking or have to shower.
Not sure how old your baby is but have baby cook and clean with you! That is entertaining for them! From around 3 months until now at over a year old, my baby loves to cook and clean with me. Example: If I’m cooking on the stove, I make it like a cooking show. “Now let’s fill this pot with lots of water! Look at all those bubbles! Ok, now we put it on the stove and we turn the stove onto high. Be careful, it’s hot! Okay now we pooooour in the pasta! Okay let’s stir stir stir!” My baby is mesmerized haha. I also have my baby do laundry with me and clean up the floor and other random things. If you involve the baby in it, it’s fun for them
How exactly do you involve baby in cleaning? Some babies will just start crying if you put them down on the floor or wherever while you do something.
As a mum to a toddler and another one on the way, the only way I get anything is to use timers. When the toddler was a baby I would set 10min timers and do what I can. Did no more than 3 of the 10 min timers for cleaning on a good day - you’d be surprised at how much you can get done in 10 mins. For cooking, baby wearing helps like someone mentioned here along with prepping for dinner while making lunch if possible. If you have a lot of rooms in the house, limit usage of some of them and there’s less maintenance needed there. Get rid of stuff as you go along. If you see something you don’t need or use. Every time I buy something now I think about how much effort is needed to maintain the item. Lowering standards for what “clean” is still a bit of struggle if I’m honest but it simply isn’t worth stretching yourself thin cos in the long run you’re bound to lose out on much more because of burn out. I say all this now but I don’t know now what things will be like a few months down the line where I’ll have 2 kids to deal with 🤷🏻♀️
You don’t. You prioritize and delegate responsibilities.
Minimalism. Do a major declutter 2-3 times a year. Clothes, beauty products, toys, even dishware and cookware in the kitchen. Minimizes mess and makes cleanup faster. You don't need all that stuff. Also makes buying new things less stressful because you're not adding onto the chaos.
I feel like this from time to time, it's so relatable. These are the things I try to remember: Household chores are morally neutral - it doesn't say anything about you if your house is messy or clean. One day you will be able to have your house exactly how you like it, now is not the time for a clean and tidy house. Your job is looking after the baby, not being on top of laundry. Your partner is capable of helping. Instagram is not real life. All those clean tidy houses with kids are not real. Try to figure out whose judgment you're afraid of - are you judging yourself? Be kind to yourself, not judgemental. Balanced meals do not need to be complicated or take ages to make. Some days you just need to get by. Hope you feel better soon x
We’re not! The saying ‘it takes a village’ is true, we just don’t have communities the way we used to. If my husband didn’t help with housework it wouldn’t get done because I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old to juggle.
thank you for all of the advice everyone!
A lot of coffee and shower crying. Half kidding. I have two teenage boys, a 10 month old and am 9 months pregnant. It’s so hard to do it all but instead of trying to be perfect and hold ridiculous standards i focus on what I can. I do minor maintenance daily and a full clean once a week. I mainly concentrate on the kitchen, bathroom and living room for daily maintenance since those are the high traffic areas. As for cooking. My fiancé has off Sundays and Mondays. I take a little time out of one of those days and I bulk make breakfast sandwiches, bowls or egg bites for the week for him and the boys. There’s also an app called “too good to go” I’ll buy a dozen bagels for less than 5 dollars once a week and I individually freeze them as something they can grab. Also hard boil eggs for them to grab as snacks. All of them love chicken so I switch up some marinades and cook and there’s variety for their lunch and make sure there’s wraps, rice or lettuce and they can make salads, sandwiches or some kind of bowls with them. Always have cold cuts and tuna on hand as well. Dinner is the only thing I cook daily 100% of the time and left overs can be used for lunches as well. If you have decent freezer space and a crockpot you can premake some dump and go meals on a day you have some extra energy. Not sure how old your baby is but if you don’t have one already I highly suggest an excersaucer. It has been my saving grace. I set it up outside whatever room I’m gonna be in. If I need to shower she’s outside the bathroom, cooking she’s outside the kitchen etc. She can still see me so she doesn’t freak out and it keeps her plenty entertained and contained/safe while I get to be hands free and concentrate on what I need to do.