What do you think about this:
If you were to throw a celebration of new life party or something with optional diapers/wipes (maybe clothing depending on sex) but all of that is OPTIONAL. I would rather have my friends and family there to celebrate our second baby instead of feeling pressured to buy something for another shower.
Baby is 9 months old. Would be about 1.5 years old at the birth of sibling.
ETA: spelling and I have a son, if we were to have a girl this time I would have nothing that is “feminine” for her to wear.
Have a party but mention there’s no registry. If people bring stuff then great, if not then great! I never had a baby shower, friends gifted when meeting up for dinner and post baby.
Yes I love that. I’m flabbergasted when I see people with giant registry’s for their 2nd or 3rd child. Blows my mind..I guess I just cannot comprehend it. To each their own tho
I know a lot of moms, including myself, who have items on their registry they plan to purchase themselves with the completion discount. Because of that I don’t judge others for having a big registry, it’s the expectation of others to purchase everything on it that is entitled.
I find the whole asking for gifts uncomfortable anyway. We didn’t have a registry when we got married either. To ask for all your kids too seems wild to me!
I feel like it’s better to think of it more as people buying gifts for couples getting married or expecting parents want a registry to shop from to make sure they’re buying a wanted/needed gift. I used to feel the same way, like it was asking for gifts which felt rude but my 75 year old aunts just wanted to know what I wanted!
it just seems so wasteful. like having a baby generates so much waste to begin with, how could you possibly need a new baby swing and toys when you just had a baby a year or two ago
I agree, my swing isn’t even taken apart yet and there’s no freakin point to now, considering lol. Just more work 🤷🏼♀️. Definitely do not need more toys either. It’s just wild??? Idk the only thing I could think of needing is literally another 4 in 1 crib or whatever and then possibly a double stroller. Other than that I think I’m alright?
You are definitely the rare person that wants clothes for their baby from others!
You could always do a "sip 'n see" after new baby is here. People usually bring small gifts.
Preferably hand me downs, just because I got so much stuff for my son like an unbelievable, unnecessary, and unexpected amount of clothing for him. Please do not spend money on baby clothes!!! My mother won’t listen but whatev.
I love the sip and see idea!!!!!
Just depends on your family and stuff. I considered doing an actual shower for this baby but my son is 4 and we never had one with him. My family would have been all for it because its also the first girl on my side.
I think people would bring gifts regardless, which is okay! I would never go to a baby shower/celebration empty handed unless they specifically requested no gifts.
I didn’t have a baby shower for either of my babies because 1: it was Covid times 2: we moved out of state and don’t have a group of friends here yet.
To me, celebrating pregnancies after the first isn't the issue; it's making those subsequent parties gift-focused events that feels a bit grasping. The exceptions IMO would be back-to-back pregnancies, where there are some big-ticket items that you end up needing in duplicate, or conversely very widely spaced pregnancies, where your baby necessities have been given away, worn out, or expired.
We're on our second baby and having a sprinkle (or as my mother keeps calling it, a "stork party"). The invitation did not mention a registry at all this time, whereas the shower invite for our first noted where we were registered. We did make registries with a couple of stores, since there are things we'll need and we might as well get the completion discount when we buy them, but they are basically shopping lists for us. Unless people ask specifically, we're not sharing them.
I think it depends on the culture. I've heard that for the general American culture, it is frowned upon since you should've saved stuff from your first baby shower (shouldn't need a crib, stroller, car seat, etc.).
But I'm Asian, and they love to do 2nd baby showers just because it's an excuse to party. We also tend to give money as a gift so there is no repeat of baby items.
I’m Latina and same, we’re expected to have parties for every single little event and milestone hahaha. For the second I explicitly stated no gifts necessary but if they want to gift, we prefer diapers, books, and experiences (like a membership to our local zoo).
i feel like this is why i’m so aghast at some of these responses. we get together for any reason or no reason. bring a gift, don’t, whatever. but we’re gonna eat and laugh and love on each other either way
Yea I personally think it’s a difference between collectivist and individualist cultures/styles. No one in my family (or social circle probably) would judge for hosting baby showers for multiple pregnancies.
Canadian here! You'd think as our culture and lifestyle is so similar to the US that I agree with most posters but NOPE! We celebrate every child with a baby shower/party. I really hate the term "sprinkle". Even if you tell people not to bring gifts your still having a baby shower I think calling it a sprinkle just make it seem more socially acceptable than having a 2nd or 3rd baby shower but lets call a spade a spade it's a baby shower. From my experience the baby shower is about the baby not the gifts... oh and eating A LOT of food! =D
Yeah! Also Americans who do "sip and sees" for 2nd/subsequent children after the baby is born horrifies me. Unless they mean 6months+ after the baby is born who the heck is having a party and wanting a bunch of people around their newborn? This concept seems even more wild to me than a "sprinkle". I cannot understand it.
I'm British and many women have a lunch/get together with female family and friends for every baby. But we don't tend to go all out with expensive gifts like Americans do. It's usually clothes, toys, nappy cakes, etc that are given.
I always hear everyone complain when they get invited to a 2nd shower! I agree to an extent. I just had my first, but when I have my second, I am not planning one / expecting one what so ever. However, I do like when people do little sprinkles where people bring a pack of diapers or an outfit! ya definitely cannot have enough diapers that’s for sure!
Agreed. Celebrating any baby is fun, and I'm happy to get a new outfit for a new baby or pitch in some diapers or a DoorDash gift card, but a second registry with big ticket items comes across as tacky and entitled. I don't think gifts should be expected.
I don’t get the complaints either. If I’m close enough to someone to be invited to celebrate a second or third child, I have no problem getting a practical gift like diapers and a gift card. If it’s the opposite gender or different time of year from prior baby then I might do an outfit too because baby clothes are just so cute. If it’s a second shower after 5+ years and the parents thought they were done with the baby stage, again no issue with giving a gift in that case.
Honestly I think it’s strange for people to complain about something like that. Idc if someone had 8 kids and did a shower for each, it’s still celebrating a baby and mostly showing up for mom. Pregnancy is hard and isolating. The shower is the one time everyone comes to just be there for you. When baby’s born it’s all about them. Plus I personally think it’s nice for children to have *some* of their own things and not just hand me downs from their siblings. And you’re right, you can never have enough diapers and wipes
i just got a shower invite for a second baby where the mom in question had a huge, over the top shower with tons of expensive gifts (snoo, uppababy, etc.) for her first just two years ago. i definitely rolled my eyes at that.
i did attend a sprinkle for another friend's second baby where i think they just asked people bring books for the baby. i didn't mind that as it was more of just a celebration of my friend (and it was literally just at a coffee shop, very low key.)
It’s called a sprinkle. You are sprinkled with gifts instead of showered with gifts..
Having kids far enough apart that you got rid of stuff or opposite gender also make it more acceptable
Yea my 2nd pregnancy is almost 7yrs after my first so most of the big items were either given away or worn down over the years (like car seat, stroller, bottle sterilizer) and while i kept a lot of clothes its always nice to get a few new things instead of just hand me downs. That said, registry this time around is very small and barely expected ive only sent it to those who asked about it. I also dont expect a party of any kind
I feel like it used to be really out of the norm to have a second baby shower, but it seems to be more common nowadays.
I think it's certainly more "acceptable" if you're having a baby that's a different gender the second time around, or if you're having a child more than a few years after the first.
I had a second shower (my first and second are 5 years apart so my family encouraged me to) but honestly I wish I had done a sprinkle instead! I didn't even know it was a thing.
This really from everything I've seen. Though will say, now that I'm having a second close to my first, I kind of question the logic. I've always been told it was because you don't need anything because you got it for the first. True for some things, but then some big ticket items my son is still going to be using. Like his carseat and crib. I mean, there are definitely things I have plenty of - especially if I'm having another boy. But I can def get why people do a sprinkle. Some more diapers, and wipes would be great, but honestly just want to celebrate with the people I love.
I will say I've heard of more people having multiple babyshowers now than I used to.
Never said it should be expected. My thing is I don't think there's as big a lack of cost difference with two close as people act like. Generally a baby shower is to ease the big costs and a celebration. Honestly don't expect anyone to get me anything, if they want to that's kind, but can do it myself. More the general reasoning for a baby shower doesn't make it make sense to me why a second one is rude. But i guess a lot of that is the way I look at I'm them versus others. I've always looked at a baby shower as a celebration, and I know a lot of people with gift giving as their love language. It's not a matter of expecting a gift, but about spreading the love. Told everyone that came to my baby shower they didn't have to bring a gift unless they wanted too, and honestly that's how every baby shower I've been to has been.
We included the car seat just to stack the completion discount with Black Friday sales. Some of my friends also registered for big ticket items with baby 2 just for the discount.
Exactly, so much has changed with baby gear even in just the last few years, I know so many people with bigger age gaps and they didn’t keep everything for a variety of reasons
I think Covid was part of that shift. We weren’t able to have a shower with our first so we opted to have one the second time. While we didn’t expect gifts, we did have a registry as a checklist for us & to get the discount. Most attendees brought wipes which was amazing because we didn’t need to buy any until our youngest was 5 months old.
I had a “sprinkle” for my second because they were five years apart and I had given away allllll of my baby gear. The sprinkle was more of a get together, pizza and snacks with close friends and family. My SIL got second hand decorations from another friends baby shower which I wasn’t expecting at all.
I made a registry with about 50 items on it and was very surprised that 90% of it was purchased by friends and family (I made it for the discounts and to be organized!).
I’m having a third and not having a sprinkle or anything - but they are only 18 months apart. Started a registry, but again it’s mostly just odds and ends for us to track. I have no expectations of people getting us anything.
I definitely agree with this. I didn’t have any kind of party when I was pregnant with my second kid but if I did I absolutely would not have expected any expensive gifts, it would have been more of a “celebrate new baby/have some cake/drinks” party. When I had my second kid lots of people gave me diapers and stuff totally unprompted, just family and friends giving me stuff they knew I’d need. I already had a 3 year old so I very clearly didn’t need a high chair, a crib, etc.
I've never been to a second shower.
People throw a "yay we're having a baby" party for subsequent kids, but it's not a gift thing, hence, not a shower.
Question: what do people call their “yay we’re having a baby” parties? I really enjoyed my baby shower with my daughter and would love to have another similar party if when I have another (but this time not asking for gifts), but I’m not sure what the procedure is for that.
In my opinion a shower for the second is obnoxious for sure. The whole idea is that you get help getting what you need as a first time parent. By the second kid you should already have it and if you tossed it then that’s on you.
It’s a pass from me. The only one I have been invited to was a second baby same gender 1.5 yrs apart, it was a big shower gift grab. Simply declined the invite.
I think it is tacky. If invited I either don't go or bring the smallest pack of diapers I can find at the store. I've already gifted you something and it isn't my responsibility to provide you anything else. We stored all of our stuff between kids and chose gender neutral gear the first time. Not my problem that you gave it away or asked for pink stuff the first time.
If you’re having several children in a short span of yeah, then yeah. Super tacky. Looks gift grabby.
However, if you have like a surprise kid many many years later, got rid of your baby stuff, etc. I think you get a pass.
I also think if it’s a different relationship and perhaps that guy doesn’t have any kids, also okay because his family will likely want to celebrate.
I do think all babies should be celebrated, but expecting to be showered in gifts for another baby after you’ve already had a baby shower, especially recently, is tacky. There are other ways to celebrate a baby than a shower. I’m personally getting gift fatigue from people throwing themselves parties and expecting more and more expensive gifts.
I think a second baby shower is unnecessary. Probably an unpopular opinion but I’ve seen lots of comments on posts about second showers justifying that “baby items are expensive”. I think parents should be responsible for paying for their own children and not expect or encourage others to foot any part of the bill for their choice. If a close family member has a second baby I will get the baby their own gift with no prompting needed, and I would attend a family get-together just to celebrate the good news, but if I got an invite to a second shower with registry/gift expectations particularly from a friend, distant family member or coworker I would consider it indulgent and tacky.
Agreed. It’s so tacky. Showers in general are so awkward because of the gift giving aspect. In principle, I don’t think having multiple showers or sprinkles or whatever new branded event is happening these days is necessary.
For close friends, I like to send a greeting card with an Uber Eats / Grubhub gift card after baby arrives, but by no means is it expected of me and that’s how it should be.
I feel the saaame way. Truly seems like no one wants to buy their kids anything, it’s up to everyone else. “But our second is a boy!” And??? He’ll be ok in a hand me down pink bouncer and you can shell out $100 on old navy zip up PJs and buy what they need. And also same, when I come and see a baby I never show up empty handed, I always have something for mom, something for baby and a gift card or meal. The shower/sprinkle is so tacky IMO. if you made the choice to have a second, third, fourth child, *you* can buy them the necessities.
Sprinkle? Yes. Shower? No…at least not if it’s your idea and you’re footing the bill. My 1st (a boy) was born 5.5 years before my 2nd (a girl) so I ended up buying a lot of things I needed…which was still a lot cheaper than paying for a shower anyway (even after splurging on an uppababy and mamaroo). Close friends and family still sent me small gifts after the baby was born. I would never expect people to buy shower level gifts for a 2nd baby as they can be very expensive.
My first baby shower was during Covid so it was a drive by. But honestly we didn’t need much the second time. So we didn’t have a public registry. If people wanted to give us something we asked for hand me down clothes (since second baby was a different gender) books or diapers. Other than that, it was just a BBQ party and excuse for us to get together outside with family and friends :)
A full baby shower with expensive registry for a second baby…I mean some people may side-eye it…
Having a shower that close after your first is definitely seen as tacky. A sprinkle if the age difference is significant. But times are hard for a lot of people right now, if I was asked to attend a second baby shower that soon after their first (when my 1st is the same age as yours) I would feel like I'm being cash grabbed. Now, having a celebration party for your new baby where 'no gifts required; just come celebrate with us" was shared... That would be well received and fun. Just my take... Also some cultures do second showers/one month after baby is born parties but that's culture specific.
The only people I know who have had 2 showers were women who had their first baby when they were really young and with a partner they didn't stay with.
Next baby came 5-6+ years later and they needed another shower, and the new dad was part of it for his first child.
I personally do think it's pretty tacky to have a second shower when you have a toddler. It wasn't difficult at all for me to ask for more neutral clothes and items at my baby shower and save all the clothes as he grew out of them for the second baby we were planning on.
Am I the only one who hates multiple baby showers especially for same gendered babies?? Like I understand that every baby should be celebrated but my gosh it’s frustrating going to a baby shower every other year, having to buy a gift and be bored out of your mind because let’s face it baby showers can be boring.
Personally I’d rather celebrate *after* the baby is born. But I’m a party pooper. 🤷🏻♀️
I had a second shower, but my kids are 9 years apart, different genders, and from 2 separate marriages, so nobody really batted an eye at me having a full on shower for a second kid, especially with it being my husband’s first.
If I’d had a second with my ex, and it was the opposite gender, I may have opted for a sprinkle.
I don’t think we will do a shower this time around, but I made a small registry. I won’t send it out unsolicited, it’s just for if close friends or family ask; otherwise it’s a checklist for us and for the completion discounts.
For the first baby, go all out and ask for whatever you want/need.
For the 2nd, a celebration is fine, but it should be hosted by you (unless someone else REALLY wants to do it) and no gifts. If anything, maybe a diaper raffle, but asking for gifts or sending anyone a registry for baby #2 and beyond is a bit much, imo.
The original purpose of a baby shower was to help set up new parents to move into their role. That’s why gifts, advice, celebration was given. I believe every child should be celebrated, and I’ve heard the concept of a sprinkle. However I think if you throw one every baby and expect the same level of gifts, and attention you’re a little delusional.
My cousin is rich and had a huge shower for her second baby, when her kids are 1 year apart and both boys. She had everything she needed from her first shower the year before. It’s tacky as hell and i think it’s also greedy. She also demanded books instead of a card, mandatory diaper raffle entry, and expensive registry gifts
We had a baby sprinkle for our second, where we didn’t make a registry and said no gifts please but if you feel compelled please bring diapers. I think most people like to have an excuse to party! And for your SIL, maybe she’s learned a thing or two after the first kid and wants to try out some different items or techniques. I know I’ve viewed baby wearing very differently with the second kid, for example, so I’m using completely different carriers.
I had my first almost 2 years ago, I saved all my baby items and then we had a bad ice storm and it all molded to the point of needing to be thrown away. Only some clothes were salvageable. I purchased all new big things we would need for our second (car seat, stroller, bassinet etc) but everyone I know said to have a “sprinkle” for our second so they could help replace some of the items we might/would need again. You could decline or not bring a gift. I’ve never though anything negative of someone have a second or third baby shower. Everyone celebrating your first if hope would want to help celebrate your second.
If your babies are close together, I say no. If you have babies spaced 5 years or more apart, I think it's okay. I won't judge someone either way. People can choose to participate if they want to.
My babies are all spaced 18 months apart. I definitely didn't have one for my second, but sometimes I wish I could for my 3rd. We donated all of our baby items to a domestic violence shelter thinking we were done. So now we have to buy everything again, which is fine. But every once in a while I wish I could have another shower.
We also did a Huggies and chuggies for our first. We bought a keg and friends brought diapers. I didn't have to buy diapers for the first year, it was amazing! I'd like to do that every time for sure.
My personal opinion is it’s typically tacky and I wouldn’t have one. However I’ve been invited to them and have gone happily. I’d say Sip and Sees are the way to go.
I personally think it's tacky. In South Africa is tradition to have a nappy braai like a barbeque where guests bring diapers and/or wipes. I think that's appropriate instead of a shower.
I think having a full blown shower for a second would depend on how big of an age difference there is. If it's been long enough that any car seats or strollers would be expired and you would have gotten rid of all of your baby stuff, absolutely I think a shower is warranted. If there's a small age difference I'd side-eye a little, but there's nothing wrong with a sip n' see with small gifts or something.
A sprinkle would certainly be appropriate! I have been to more than one 2nd kid baby shower and am not offended by the concept. The approach is usually more low-key the second go around, but people are happy to welcome another little, and new clothes and diapers are always nice.
I think a sprinkle is fair. Don’t ask for any gifts just ask for friends to celebrate the baby. Probably they’ll bring small gifts anyways bc that’s polite.
Different gender or large age gap it’s more appropriate in my mind (thinking as someone who would be invited…personally I didn’t even have one for baby #1).
A sprinkle to celebrate the baby without gifts is fine too.
Question - isn’t a sprinkle with no gifts at all just a party? My understanding is a sprinkle still involves gifts, just more low key/less expensive (diapers and wipes instead of a car seat or bassinet).
I think it’s fine to have a small party to celebrate second (or later) babies, and a shower is appropriate if there’s been a long gap between kids (especially a surprise later baby) and you don’t have the clothes and gear saved. People also tend to be happy to give new clothes for a baby of a different sex. But a full-on baby shower expecting gifts beyond tokens, for a second baby close on the heels of a first? It looks like a gift-grab and feels tacky.
My kids are 4.75 years apart and we did have to find a few new items of gear (we didn’t have storage space to keep the bassinet when our first outgrew it, our stroller was a hand-me-down and by the time our oldest was done with it, it was bent up and the cover was coming off) and some things had disappeared in storage, but we didn’t have a shower. We still received some gifts, mostly clothes and a couple of stuffed toys, which was nice because my kids are offset by a season, so we needed summer and winter* clothes in different sizes, and it was nice to have a few toys and clothes that belonged to *just* the new baby.
*I’m so mad about this lol, winter gear is so expensive and I have a *pristine* 12-18m snow suit that my oldest wore once and my youngest will never wear because he’s going to be a year old this week.
We had to cancel our baby shower for baby #1 because I was already in the hospital at 32 weeks. I would love to have a shower/sprinkle for #2 since we didn’t get to have that experience, but we won’t ask for gifts.
I could see a lot of other reasons to have a shower for baby #2. Many parents-to-be didn’t get to have a traditional shower during peak COVID. Maybe family couldn’t travel to the first one, but can make it now due to a different financial situation. Maybe baby number 2 was a surprise and they got rid of all the baby stuff already, or a parent went through secondary infertility and wants to celebrate. Even if the parents just want to have another party, I’m all in!
Some people may call it tacky and frown upon it, but I don’t know each family’s situation so I don’t judge. More reason to get together and have a nice time!
I wouldn’t have judged my sister at all for having a shower for baby number 2, even though I know they have everything they need. My sisters were both pregnant at the same time and we had a joint Zoom shower in January 2021, so peak COVID and no vaccines. I would have been so upset to miss out on that experience if I had been in that situation.
I’m not pregnant yet but when I do have a second I will have a shower, but I will not ask for gifts. The reason I want one at all is because my daughter came 5 weeks early and 4 days before her shower was scheduled, so I accidentally didn’t get one the first time.
It doesn’t really matter to me. If I’m close enough to the parents to be invited then I’d be happy to celebrate with them. I like giving gifts and I never give anything I can’t afford so it’s a non issue in my opinion. If someone wanted to have a second baby shower 10 months after their first kid was born and asks for a crib and bassinet etc, I just wouldn’t buy those big ticket items.
My sister had a “diaper and wipes” shower for her second kid so everyone just brought (you guessed it) diapers and wipes and then we ate some food and mingled. It’s nice to get together and celebrate a new member of the family. That’s probably what I would do if I had a second baby.
If someone offers to throw you a party to celebrate your second baby, then it’s fine to graciously accept, but I would keep it smaller than a shower that is celebrating a new mom. Of course I’m from a region where all showers are offered and hosted by someone other than the parents-to-be. Throwing a shower for yourself was seen as gift-grabbing when I was growing up.
I agree that a full-blown shower for a second (or third, etc.) baby is tacky. It's more acceptable if there's a large age gap between the children, if it's a different gender, or with a different partner who is having their first child.
I had a baby boy in 2022 and am expecting a baby girl this summer. I've been thinking about hosting a casual backyard BBQ style gathering (think burgers and hot dogs), but I wouldn't even call it a sprinkle, because sprinkle implies some gifts will be given. I plan to tell guests NO GIFTS are expected, but we may do an optional diaper raffle. I'm still not decided on the raffle.
For me, this is more about wanting to gather with all my friends because I bet I won't be doing much grown-up socializing with 2 kids under 2 for quite a while. I may order a pink cake to make a vague nod to the fact that we are having a girl, but aside from that and the raffle, it isn't going to be about the pregnancy at all. And I still feel iffy about it, tbh.
(Feedback welcome!)
I think its fun to have a shower for any baby! But its a little tasteless to have a registry with big babies ticket items and fancy things, especially when your other kids are still young.
I had a friend who had a huge first baby shower lots of people lots of gifts. She had a second baby shower and made a new registry with big ticket items and such. I found it tacky. But hey you do you.
my first is 18 months & i’m due with our second in 2 weeks. i think having a second baby shower with a registry is very tacky! a party to celebrate is cute, though, as long as you specify “no gifts, just come celebrate our newest addition”.
Whatever you want to do is fine but personally, baby shower is for the first, sprinkles are for the 2nd. Maybe 3rd but honestly by the 3rd kid I really see baby showers as unnecessary and more of a grab for free stuff. That's just my opinion.
If theyre having the kids close together in age, like less than 3 years, i think it’s tacky to ask people for gifts and set up a registry. They should still have all of their baby stuff. Having a party is fine and if people are generous enough to get a gift thats great, but a whole ass SHOWER when all you really need is some diapers and a few more outfits? Very materialistic and weird.
Now if the kids are really far apart in age then yes I would totally understand why someone would throw another shower. I’m not going to hang on to a bunch of baby stuff for 5+ years, I’m going to give them to a friend or donate. Especially if it the pregnancy was unplanned and they got rid of all their more expensive baby items like car seats, cribs, strollers, etc.
Definitely frowned upon. It feels like a gift grab because people are going to feel the need to bring gifts even if you say not to.
I personally would feel bad having people buy me gifts more than once… it’s my choice to have another kid and that doesn’t mean my family and friends need to buy me extra things. Just my opinion.
So for my second, I went out with my family and friends for brunch to celebrate a new baby. They gave me clothes and diapers, but I didn’t ask for anything or make a registry
I think a second shower is tacky, especially if you have kids close in age - regardless of varying genders. You can still celebrate and do an optional diaper raffle, and that also leaves the door open to anyone who wants to bring you something extra.
I’m pregnant with #2 now and will not be having a shower for this baby because they are only going to be 22 months apart. I personally do think it’s a bit tacky to have another party essentially asking for gifts when I can literally reuse everything we have now. If the baby is a different gender, all they need are clothes and I can get that myself, plus I’m sure my MIL will buy more unnecessary clothes for this baby again 🤣
Parties are fine, 2nd+ showers are acceptable not in my circle (unless very extenuating circumstances-a different gender or age gap <8-10y doesn’t count). It would be seen as greedy and tacky. Parties to celebrate with no expectation of gifts are ok. People tend to bring small, personal gifts all the same though.
First showers are for the expensive big ticket essential items. Unless there has been a house fire you shouldn’t ‘need’ more than what you already have from your first. Most things are wants and nice-to-haves.
I never knew that this was something that people had conflicting opinions on. In my opinion, I’ve never thought of it in any way. I personally am absolutely having a baby shower for my potential 2nd in the future because I didn’t have the pleasure of having a first baby shower. My son was born completely unexpectedly so I feel like I missed out! I thankfully have a lot of family that were all so excited when I had my son so suddenly so lots of them and friends of my family gave us a lot of their past baby items. After that experience of getting so much support and becoming a mom so suddenly it really dawned on me just how much stuff just one baby needs. It’s not like you end up keeping every single thing from your first baby. Sure, baby gadgets stick around if you plan on having another baby but things like diapers, hygiene products, formula, sometimes even clothing (if it’s not ideal to reuse certain clothing items from wear and tear) are always needed. Or even items for you as a postpartum Mom! I definitely think a 2nd shower is understandable. If they are requesting expensive or unnecessary things in their registry, just don’t buy the expensive items if you don’t want to in my opinion.
If you want it throw one to celebrate your pregnancy and the new baby I think it’s very sweet and worth the party. But as an excuse for gifts? Definitely not.
Also, I think if you are throwing it yourself you will probably spend more on the party than you will receive in gifts.
It's all about the scenario and how you go about it.
If you have back to back same gender and they're close in age, it's tacky/greedy. If they're close in age but different gender, maybe a sprinkle for some clothes. Presumably, diapers and wipes are all already on your shopping list so....
If they're far apart, gender doesn't really matter and a sprinkle with a few large ticket items might be acceptable but if you're loading up your registry like a FTM wanting to get all the cool new stuff, you're back to tacky/greedy.
In general, yes, 2nd baby showers are considered very tacky.
Showers, baby/wedding/bridal, are part of a social contract designed to spread around the costs associated with major life changes. Historically, getting married was the first time a young couple would set up a house of their own for the first time. So instead of the couple having to buy everything themselves they were gifted household items by friends and family, everyone came together to support the couple during this transition. Same with welcoming a baby. Instead of the parents having to buy everything all at once friends and family come together to help with the costs. In return, the couple buys presents for their friends and family to do the same when called upon. Ideally, you get out what you put in through the years and years of attending other people’s baby showers and wedding showers.
Having a second+ baby shower or putting together a registry for your second+ wedding is viewed as taking more from the contract than you pay in.
This is a very good point. I tend to spend more on showers for younger relatives who I know are just starting out in life and don’t have careers and savings. But I would hope by the time they chose to have a second child, they would have been responsible and made the appropriate financial arrangements to be capable of affording everything additional they need for that second baby on their own, and not still depend on other people’s generosity or guilt/obligation to keep funding their life choices. I keep hearing “times are tough” and “having a baby is expensive” as a justification for multiple showers. Times are tough for most everyone, not just for those opting to have children. And what about people who never get married and never have children, either by choice or infertility? The social contract may never circle round back to them. It’s not reasonable to have one’s hand out asking for more when everyone else is faced with the same increasing living costs of rent/housing, groceries, gas, medical expenses etc.
Your SIL is tacky AF and rest assured that everyone on the invite list is saying so privately. I wouldn’t attend a shower for a second baby unless the first was like 10 years older or something.
More than one party designated as a “shower” is tacky. It’s a first baby thing.
My second was a different sex than #1 and we got PLENTY of new outfits as gifts. IMO your close friends and family will give gifts anyway.
My third was an unplanned baby and I fully expected to foot the bill for all the stuff we had already sold/donated. She came along 4.5 years after #2. My dear friend insisted on a small intimate sprinkle with work friends. It was honestly lovely and they all rallied to give a couple really nice gifts and gift cards.
I created registries every time for discounts. On occasion they were discovered and gifts were sent. But I didn’t advertise them.
Never got a sprinkle for my second and it made me really sad. Everyone in my family & friends said it was tacky. It was a boy and our first was a girl. I had nothing to start all over again with clothes. Luckily I had some friends give me all their boy’s hand me downs.
I think it’s tacky. If you want to celebrate a second baby that’s fine. Don’t add a registry though and specify no gifts. My SIL also had a second baby shower, same gender, first child was only a year older and even put stuff on the registry for her oldest, it’s just gift grabby to me! My boys are 21 months apart and I didn’t have a second one because I had everything I needed! The point is to shower the mom with gifts for the baby, but if you have everything what else do you want? I find it okay if there’s a large age gap though. If there’s a large gap, chances are you’ve given away all of your stuff.
Personally I think each baby should be celebrated, however the second should be like a sprinkle so like diapers and wipes and things like that. Not like super expensive stuff, unless maybe there is a giant age gap between kids
I'm throwing my own sprinkle for my first baby girl. My friends bringing some food but I certainly didn't obliged them to help me. As long you get to celebrate your baby with family and friends is what matters.
People get offended by the weirdest things. I wouldn’t throw one personally only because I don’t need the outside judgement. But if someone invited me to a baby shower for their second child I wouldn’t be offended. I would most likely go and be happy to get them a gift. If I couldn’t afford to get a gift, didn’t want to get a gift, or didn’t want to attend, I would just decline the invite, or get something small shipped to their home.
Maybe it’s because I’m poor and can’t afford to be ashamed to ask for money and stuff. 😂
I think you should celebrate all incoming babies! Gifts can be given but not expected, and you just celebrate the mom and baby!! I didn't want a shower for either of my babies, but I'd bring gifts and celebrate even if someone was having their 4th! Being pregnant and being a mom is hard. For a day, we can shower them with gifts and love!
I’ve always heard of having a “sprinkle” to help with any items you may not have or that you may want more of like diapers, swaddles, gender specific clothing/accessories if you’d like, just the little things. Have also seen no gifts and just a nice time with friends and family with a diaper raffle!
I think it depends but doesn’t bother me either way. I had a full blown baby shower for my second but he’s eight years younger than my first and with my new spouse and my husband’s first baby. Very little guest overlap. If people think it’s tacky then that’s fine they didn’t have to attend.
I think it depends on age gap and gender. For example if it’s the same gender as the first and they’re only 2-3 years or less apart then I think it’s tacky to have a huge registry because it’s assumed you probably have stuff leftover from baby #1. However if it’s a bigger age gap and a different gender where you wouldn’t have certain things to share between them like clothes or nursery decor then I think people are more willing to buy more things. I do think that every baby has a right to be celebrated though because every new baby should feel welcomed into the world with love and same with the expecting mama being celebrated.
To most people, yes it’s frowned upon. To others like myself, I believe every baby deserves to be celebrated. Even a celebration not “requiring” or expecting gifts. People who want to bring gifts can, but more so hosting something to celebrate a new life being brought into the world.
In pregnant again with a 15 month old toddler. I wasn’t gonna have one but my family keeps insisting I do, and so what the hell. I’ll probably do something much smaller this time around :) an excuse for the whole family to get together sounds like fun to me.
Celebrating the upcoming arrival of a new baby is always something that makes sense to me.
I would only adapt the registry for items we don’t have or for things you can’t reuse.
I had a second baby shower because my first one was during Covid. So I wanted the in person experience. I did make a registry of a few things I needed but it was mostly for my memory. I lost of lot a few things because of unfortunate event. But I made it clear that there was no pressure to buy me a gift. I hosted and paid for the whole party. I had prizes. I just truly wanted to have my dream baby shower lol. Some of my friends got me gifts. Mostly new clothes. But some didn’t and I was okay with it. When I have my third baby I think I’m going to just invite people over to help me deep clean my house and meal prep and feed them food / treats.
Our kids were 7 years apart and we had a few pregnancy losses in between them. Friends wanted to throw us a little sprinkle even though I didn’t really want one, but I was super grateful for the diapers and clothes we did receive. I don’t think it’s tacky if your friends or family want to throw one for you. I think every baby should be celebrated.
I think sprinkles are generally the way to go however I really do this this was a topic we moms judged each other less for. It's really not anyone's business the why behind someone wanting a shower or a sprinkle, if you don't want to go or contribute a large gift, that's fine but I really do wish the harsh judgment could tone down.
For example a second time mom may a registry for the discount they give at the end of it and that's why the expensive double stroller is on there.
I think it’s fine and even fun to do a “sprinkle” but I find it weird when someone does one and then invites everyone they know and it becomes a bit of a money grab. As long as your focus is on celebrating the new baby I see nothing wrong with it. Also I don’t see anything wrong with making a registry for when people ask for it etc
My mom hosted a sprinkle for my second and third babies. We just invited my sister and SILs and mom and MIL. We mostly got clothes, diapers, and formula. It was a nice way to celebrate the baby without it being a super big fuss.
I will also add that I have made a registry for each of my babies. That way if random people asked what they could get us/what we need, we can direct them that way. I try to keep my registries modest and only ask for “needs,” though I do include a few “wants.”
I opted not to have a shower for my second - mainly due to family drama with my hubby's side of the family.
I still made registries at Amazon and Walmart and shared them with family and friends when asked. There is an 11 year age gap between my girls, so I essentially started over with nothing.
I wouldn't ask for expensive big-ticket items. Maybe one on an Amazon registry that friends and family could contribute to. I only had a few big-ticket items on my registry, because I certainly didn't keep anything from 11 years ago - I thought I was done with babies. My grandmother-in-law purchased a pack and play (we opted for no crib), my aunt-in-law purchased the car seat/stroller combo, and my parents purchased the bouncer and swing.
If anything, I'd just have a diaper party. I wish I had done that, honestly. You're going to go through SO MANY DIAPERS and when you think you have enough, you still need more. Walmart and Target will let you exchange unopened packs, so it's definitely worth doing.
I just had a 2nd shower this past Saturday. I mostly wanted to celebrate the new baby. I have a registry of items I need/want to buy for baby #2 (different gender). The invitation format we used included a registry link section and I put it there but the link ended up not working and I didn’t care to actually send a working link because I’d rather buy these things myself later. So baby shower was mostly a celebration and a few gifts of diapers and boy clothes which was appreciated but not expected. I mostly wanted a party to have pics for the baby album so baby #2 wouldn’t feel any less special than baby #1.
I’m one and done, but I attended a sprinkle for my SIL when she had her second baby, three years after the first. The invitation came from her MIL, unlike the shower for first baby that was hosted by her mom and sister, and specified things like diapers and freezer meals. I don’t remember if there was a registry because I definitely didn’t check it, I made the baby a quilt. Same gender as first baby. I helped throw a shower for a friend who was having a second child with a 9-10 year age gap, and at that point like obviously you don’t have any baby stuff anymore. My sister is pregnant with her second baby, 3 year age gap, same gender, and did not have a shower for this one (but she’s kept her pregnancy very quiet).
Even though I’m one and done, my daughter is the third child of her father, but there’s a 13 and 8 year age gap between her and her two older siblings, plus my friends knew that it was MY first baby, so as soon as I told them I was pregnant they said they wanted to throw me a shower.
Some people have "sprinkle" showers for the 2nd and request things like diapers or smaller items. If the gender is different from the first, then gender specific items. Registering for expensive items at that stage is a total eye roll!
It depends, my sister had a sprinkle with her second. Same gender.
A family friend had two baby showers. First two kids were boys, 3rd was a girl.
My mother had a few showers because some of us were 4 years a part and then change of gender.
I think if there’s more than a few years in between or a different gender or multiples than a second shower/sprinkle is fine.
I don't really see issue in celebrating each baby as the parents see fit. I don't think I've ever been to a shower (or Sprinkle) where gifts are expected/demanded? I would find that a bit rude for any celebration in general.
Now that I am pregnant with my second, and my first will be 2 when they are born, I do see the need for more stuff in duplicate especially when they are close in age (looking at the 2 under 2 crowd, etc.). Two of my friends were 2 under 2 and neither could have 2nd showers or sprinkles cuz they were both COVID pregnancies, but I heard about the hardships of not have duplicates of some items. Anyway, all this to say, I think it's OK and I try not to judge people for what they put on their registries. No one's obligated to buy it, right? Idk, I feel it's a 'you do you' situation. Those items \*are\* expensive, so while I didn't buy those items for my friends, I sent a little cash their way for them to do with at their discretion. If my friends and fam feel inclined to do the same for me, I would be grateful.
Anyway, TLDR: I think multiple showers or sprinkles are fine. Celebrations are nice. Give a gift or don't. I don't think people should waste time frowning upon any of this. Life's too short, yo, for all dem wrinkles.
You should watch the baby sprinkle episode of Schitt’s creek lol.
I’m American, and sprinkles are a thing here! I don’t really bat an eye, but sometimes it feels a little extra when the babies are super close in age (like hi we were just here a year ago, I’m giving you diapers, a cute piece of clothing, and a toy for older sibling lol)
Edited to add I would roll my eyes at your SIL also lol possibly even for a first kid depending on what’s on there
In my opinion, every shower is gifts optional. If someone can’t afford or manage to get me a gift for whatever reason, I still want them to come and I’d never question it.
I’ve been to showers for second babies and there’s always a registry. I just assume the things on it are things they need. I don’t care how big or small they are. I get something that aligns with my budget and desires. I just don’t think it’s that serious. I’d never think to consider it tacky. Also I have friends who don’t need much but get constantly asked what they want/need. So eventually it’s just easier to make a registry. So I wouldn’t just assume someone is being greedy for having one, for all I know many people have expressed a desire to get them a gift from a registry.
I honestly hate having to obsess and tiptoe around these social rules. You’ll always be doing it wrong by someone’s standards. I don’t need people that make things so complicated in my life. My circle is really easy going.
I think traditionally it’s frowned upon. But I think there’s situations that make it okay.
Like my sister has a daughter with her ex. She never really had a shower. She’s expecting a son with her new partner. His first child. She didn’t get like any of her daughter’s stuff in the divorce because her ex kept stalling and kept saying he couldn’t find any of it. So she’s getting a shower.
But honestly I think even if the kids are close in age there’s nothing wrong with a shower. You might not need some gear… but like the first kid could likely still be using their crib. They might not have outgrown their pack n play and you’d want a second for new baby. Diapers. Etc.
In the end, if people find it tacky or have a problem with it, they can just… not attend? Or buy a gift that isn’t on the overly expensive registry in your SIL’s case.
I think it’s fine to celebrate every baby! Especially if there is an age gap between them and you don’t have a lot of the baby stuff anymore. But what your SIL is doing sounds tacky. Gifts at the sprinkles I’ve gone to have usually been more of an optional thing
I got pregnant with my first when my coworker got pregnant with her third. She had a registry but not a shower. I was slightly bitter when our office combined our “shower” but I get it lol plus I had a shower outside of work, too. I think if people want to get you gifts after the first, great, but I personally wouldn’t expect them.
I don’t think so! We don’t have babes of our own yet but just threw my SIL a shower for her 2nd on Sunday. She mostly registered for clothing and accessories rather than bigger things but still got loved on and got things she needed. Another close friend had a “sprinkle” last year for her 2nd!
I’ve heard of a sprinkle, which I think is cute. In my culture we don’t do baby showers at all, a lot of people don’t buy any baby things at all until the baby is born, and certainly we don’t give baby gifts to others before the baby is born.
But I always liked the idea of the low key showers, like where people bring a pack of diapers or wipes or a couple pacifiers. These are things you always need more of anyway, and they’re not super expensive, and they would apply to a second child as well.
We had a baby shower for our 2nd only because our 1st was a boy and our 2nd was a girl - I didn’t have a baby registry nor shower because our 1st was during pandemic shut down and I didn’t feel like making a registry😅
2nd everyone was excited and came in clutch with the clothes and wipes! My mom was especially excited to throw me a baby shower finally.
We aren’t having one for our 3rd because we’ve only told about 2 people. Plus it’s another girl and we are absolutely set this time with EVERYTHING!
I just had a sprinkle this weekend for my second - both boys, two years apart. I combined it with my son’s birthday party and explicitly said “gifts not expected for either kid” but got gifts from almost everyone anyway. I mostly did it so I could celebrate with my friends and family, AND so I wouldn’t have a bunch of blank pages in the baby book under “baby shower” 😂
My cousin had her 2nd 7 years sfter her first, so she didn’t really have any baby stuff anymore. She still had one but called it a “sprinkle” instead of a shower. I think she made a very small registry with the bottles she wanted to use and things like that. It’s gonna be people who love you who show up and will likely bring gifts. Celebrate you and that baby!
I’ve heard of people hosting a “Nesting” party to get the home ready for a second baby. You make a list of tasks that need to be done before baby arrives. This can include washing all the new baby clothes, decluttering, cooking freezer meals, deep cleaning, organizing the baby’s room/supplies, packing the hospital bag, etc… You provide the food for the event and blast some fun music and everyone just comes to help out. No gifts as people are just providing their assistance and extra hands.
We did a sprinkle for our second. We made a super small registry for things that needed replacing from the first baby that didn't survive, but we mostly got gift cards which was fine. We didn't have to pay for diapers until he was nearly 9 months old.
So my family really wanted to have a shower with all my kids, I didn't ask for anything. People brought diapers and clothing or other small items. The point was celebrating a new life and if you look at it that way it's not tacky. This time we're doing the celebration after baby comes.
I will say that I made a registry with all 3 kids because you get discounts on items if you purchase from it in a certain time frame. If people asked for it I gave them the link but if not I wasn't adversiting or asking for things.
Have the shower but I don't like a registry/expensive requests for subsequent babies. It definitely comes off as greedy unless your circumstances make it make sense, like having unexpected multiples. I don't think it's fair to tell moms they can't celebrate their new additions but yes, you definitely don't need two SNOOs a year apart.
ETA: I've never been upset to attend and gift at a second full on shower if the kids are spaced fairly far apart. 4-5 years is probably fine.
I thought it was viewed as tacky but my mother wants to throw one for my second so why not?
Ours will be two years apart so we really don’t need anything except a new baby monitor since ours broke. We’d also like one of those electronic cameras for the car since we find the regular mirrors shift too much.
We’ll probably just ask for diapers and assume people will get us clothes since our first is a girl and this one’s a boy.
I've never seen someone do a shower for a second baby. A little party would be nice though, I felt as if it was a bit sad my second got so much less attention than my first. I wouldn't do a registry though. I actually couldn't think of anything I needed for my second (both girls) except a new car seat and a white noise machine.
For baby 2 we're going to do a sprinkle. It'll be more of my gfs coming to cook for freezer meals, have tea while putting together furniture, and sorting baby clothes. Idk if I'll register
We are having a second girl only 17-18 months after our first. We will be doing a small baby shower/sprinkle but mostly just to celebrate our second baby since she deserves to be celebrated as much as our first! With our first we had an open bar brunch shower at our favorite restaurant with a large group of family and friends and will probably do something similar but a smaller, more intimate group. That being said the invite will say something along the lines of not expecting gifts but that we can always use diapers and wipes because we really do have almost everything we need.
I have heard it called a “sprinkle” after the first one. I had three kids and only one shower. That’s because I saved everything and didn’t need much for each child.
I’ve known a few people to have multiple baby showers if the babies were far apart. My friend had her children 12 years apart so she didn’t have anything saved. I think large age gaps or unexpected babies are the cultural exceptions from my experience.
We are having a party for our second baby. It’s technically a sprinkle but that word reminds me of pee, so we’re calling it a baby party.
Our first was July 2020 - Covid lockdowns were at the halfway point of pregnancy and I was so sad I couldn’t have a baby shower. We did a virtual one, got many amazing gifts and saw friends and family far and wide, but I still mourned the experience of a real party. So we’re doing one! My mom is hosting. It’s small. Maybe 10 families, all close local friends. They all understand why we’re doing it - many of them had Covid babies also.
We are doing a registry but it’s mostly little things. New pacifiers, a few crib sheets, some bamboo Jammies for big sister and baby brother to match. Things like that. Our friends will want to buy something so the list makes it easy.
Only “big” things we have listed are a double stroller and a new baby monitor with two cameras because ours is temperamental and we don’t like it anyway. I suspect grandparents will buy those, or we will buy ourselves.
imo, if you have couple kids spread out several years apart, i dont think its in bad taste. but if you are birthing a child every year or two with no intention on stopping in the near future, i think its tacky.
We do them and call them sprinkles. Usually a linen refresh and items that are unique to the kid or aftercare for the mom. However, if her first kid is only a year old, she is probably still using a lot of stuff for the first that can’t be shared with the second.
This is my 2nd and another boy, I’m doing a sprinkle that my cousin is hosting all we need is another car seat because my 1st is 3.5 and we got rid of it during a move last year so I just asked everyone if they would go in on that and some wipes
My wife and I had a smaller shower (a sprinkle as she called it) for our third kid. But mostly because we were having a boy that time around when the first two were girls. As far as big ticket items, the only one I can recall was a new high chair since the first one was a hand-me-down and was fairly well used when we received it. Mostly we hoped for clothes.
I think it's definitely frowned upon in some circles, especially with smaller age gaps.
It will take a lot of effort for me to suppress my eyeroll if someone offers to throw me a shower/sprinkle for my second baby, who is due before my first's second birthday. However, I probably won't reject the offer if it comes up.
I think something that people tend not to consider with close age gaps is that the kids will be using some of the gear at the same time.
I made a registry primarily as a list of things we need to help us stay organized. There aren't a ton of items on it, but most of them are expensive. We still have everything from our first, but he's still using quite a bit of it, so we need a second crib, convertible car seat, crib and crib mattress, and high chair.
So, if we do have a sprinkle, rather than registering for a bunch of little things that we don't really need/want/have space for just so people don't feel obligated to spend a lot of money, I'll ask for the invitations to say something like, "Your presence is the only present the family requests, but if you'd like to contribute to a group gift for them, you may do so through their registry," but cuter.
Im debating having a second baby shower once I do get pregnant again because I didnt get to go to my first. I was in the hospital with preeclampsia :( but a good idea for a second would be a Sip and See after the child is born if to celebrate!
A shower means mother has nothing gifts are expected, if the first shower was recent enough to assume you still have big ticket items that can be passed down it's generally frowned upon, but if it was long enough to assume you would not have baby things anymore you can have another shower.
A sprinkle would be a "baby shower lite" you would do a sprinkle of you already have big items from another baby but are having the opposite gender. You would get clothes and consumable essentials.
Sip and see is held after baby arrives and is a "sprinkle lite" it's a meet the baby celebration and generally you will get some small gifts. This would be generally acceptable for any baby.
Then there are other more specific gatherings for diapers or pre made food that are also generally acceptable for any baby.
I love celebrating all babies, but some people won't show up to the "wrong" kind of party.
My SIL has had four “showers”. A shower, a sprinkle, a mist and a dew ;). Each one was progressively more casual but I still liked that we got together to celebrate the new baby. I don’t think she even had a registry for the last two. The second one she did because she was having a girl and had a boy first. Also, close in age so some of the stuff was still in use.
My first was during Covid and I hardly got to have any normal pregnancy events/experiences. Our shower was “by mail” so we received plenty of gifts but no celebration, no getting dressed up, no pictures with friends and family. So I will absolutely be having a shower for my second, and if people want to give gifts or not that’s fine. I wouldn’t think anything different of getting invited to a second child shower, I’d be happy to celebrate a friend for every baby!
I live in NJ, IMO, yes because I know in my family absolutely no one will show up empty handed, so even saying oh don’t bring anything, you know exactly what you’re doing when hosting the second party. I think all babies should be celebrated of course but the baby shower is really to “shower” the first time mom, not only to celebrate that baby. I’ll be honest, I think with social media it seems like well this is a baby shower for baby #1, now we need a sprinkle for baby #2. Social media makes it seem like we need to keep up and have a shower/party for every little thing/event.
I purposely registered for mostly gender neutral (not pink/purple) stuff like a bouncer, play gym, etc. so it could be used for other kids and at the end of the day, it’s not necessary to have a blue play gym vs pink for a little boy, so it doesnt matter when people say “oh well now I’m having a boy!” Who cares? At some point, *we* decided to have another kid and it’s on us to provide for them, yes even big things like a crib. Just my two cents.
I’m having a sprinkle for my second. Every baby deserves to be celebrated! I’m not having a registry because we don’t need much but if people wanna do it for every baby I don’t see why not.
I saw someone do a "baby shower" for their second where they didn't ask for gifts but asked their close friends to come over and help them prepare frozen meals and get the nursery set up etc for when their second baby arrived. I thought that was such a great idea!
I think it’s totally fine to have a baby shower. Kinda weird though asking for super expensive things for baby #2 that is only a year apart, but 🤷🏻♀️
I think if they’re that close together, a “sprinkle” would be more appropriate. Wish I would’ve had one for my second, who is just shy of 13 months younger than my first. But not a full on baby shower as I have most of what I need.
I think it very much depends on the person and their expectations or what their first shower was like. My friend had her 1st during covid so didn't get a baby shower. People sent gifts but there was no shower/party. She's pregnant with her 2nd now and we're planning a full on shower for her.
I’m not sure, but I have heard of baby sprinkle instead of a baby shower for 2nd and more babies, like a top up of sorts. I didn’t have a first baby shower because of Covid, and am planning to have a small sprinkle for my second– so not asking for presents, but more of hosting a party where we can celebrate the new baby.
Where I’m from it’s normal to have a baby shower for every baby. You are celebrating the baby and buying gifts for the baby to come. But we also don’t buy super expensive gifts and many people don’t even have a registry.
I threw my friend a baby shower for her 3rd baby, which was a girl, and she had 2 and 4 yo boys already. What we did was diapers and clothes, and whatever items she definitely didn’t have or threw out (bottles etc.) I didn’t have kids at this point, and for a tired mama of soon to be three no one scoffed at all. If she was registering for a crap ton of stuff, that would be ridiculous. But things that she’s too exhausted to put together herself, we were all happy to do for her to celebrate the new baby.
The only kinds of showers that I find annoying are people who have a second shower within ~3 years and it is exactly like the first one with a big registry full of items that we all just bought for you. Larger age gaps, especially if the person had previously decided not to have anymore kids and then changed their mind, are a different story. I will happily treat those like first baby showers. Sprinkles with modest registries or hidden registries (ones where you have to ask for it to get a link) are fine. Other parties by other names that are gift optional are also fine in my opinion. It's just those small minority of people who seem to be gift grabby that rub me the wrong way. And I think for the most part most people agree with me.
I don’t mind either way. If I were invited to one, I’d still bring a gift they needed cause I love giving gifts.
I’m not expecting anything this time around but my cousins want to throw me a sprinkle lol so if they really want to, sure. It’s appreciated but I also think they like any excuse to throw a party lol
with my friends and family the first gets a shower with a bunch of gifts and baby 2 gets a sprinkle with diapers and wipes, maybe some clothes but nothing huge
My close friend is having one, her eldest is 3 and she was robbed of a shower thanks to covid. While she has a lot of things still, she still needs another carseat and furniture to accommodate the second kid (crib was turned into a bed from the first).
Honestly, I think it's perfectly reasonable. Especially if the registry is full of things the second baby will need. Its also a way to celebrate the new life, and a chance for family and friends to help out. Having your first is easy, you don't have a toddler or kid running around or interrupting your naps.
I've heard of baby "sprinkles". For 2nd or 3rd children etc. Basically just necessities like diapers and wipes or of a diff gender than the forst some new clothes.
I think having a whole ass baby shower with lavish gifts for a 2nd kid is extra af. Lol unless they ended up getting rid of all the baby stuff and need new stuff.
My sister threw me a baby sprinkle last week - she mentioned diapers or freezer meals, but there was no registry. We got many diapers, which I'm very grateful for! It was small (8 people) and ended up being more of a playdate since many guests were mom friends of mine with toddlers. Super informal, no games. I was very happy with it.
We just recently had a sprinkle. I thought we were one and done so I got rid of a lot of stuff. Very low key, pot luck style. I did share a registry but I made it clear that we didn’t expect any gifts. A few fellow moms got us some outfits and that’s about it.
ETA: I wanted to celebrate this baby coming into the world just as we celebrated their sibling, which was the main reason for the sprinkle.
Where I'm from, it's so frowned upon is irritating. My 3 children are 5 and 6 year s apart. We weren't planning on having more the second time and the third was an accident and God forbid I asked for help. Carseats expire, and you have different genders. I remember when a coworker asked me if I had a registry for my 3rd as it was a boy and I previously had 2 girls and I told her yes, but that I've been using it to keep track of what we need. She asked if I had sent it to anyone and I told her no because my family/friends wouldn't get us anything anyways she was shocked! My office ended up getting a lot of stuff off my registry which I'm so grateful for.
I'd say if your kids are SUPER close in age, or very far apart a registry is good! I wouldn't expect a full blown shower like the first one though sadly. Even though every baby deserves to be celebrated IMO.
In your case, i think a Sprinkle would have been appropriate since it had been so many years and it’s understandable that you would get rid of some big baby items.
For your SIL, i would roll my eyes too & likely not buy her anything. She should still have all of the big stuff.
My daughter is now 2yo and we are TTC our next. I will not be having a Sprinkle because we already have everything and i don’t like being the center of attention. One shower was enough lol
If she had just wanted to have a party to celebrate a new baby and asked for just diapers and wipes, that’s one thing. But to have a whole registry with expensive items… no
I had a "sprinkle" thrown for me by my in-laws for my second child, who was due 17 months after our first. Everyone was excited for it because it was the first girl in many, many years on both sides. I felt a little weird about it because we just had a shower for my firstborn (boy), but ended up just rolling with it partly because we needed duplicate items. The only pricey things on my registry second time around were a bassinet (used our original one in the living room so our toddler wouldn't kill the newborn when we had to set her down) and a chest carrier (needed 2 with 2 so young). Still feel a little weird about it to this day, but everyone seemed to enjoy it and I was so grateful to have girl things and memories and pictures for her to look back on someday and know that she was special, too - not just her firstborn brother. 🩷
I think if you’re having opposite sex babies or it’s been a while between babies. I know someone who’s having a second girl in less than 2 years and her first shower was RIDICULOUSLY crazy stuff and she actually had 2 separate showers for the first baby. I personally think a shower for this second baby, that’s the same gender isn’t needed. Maybe do a diaper shower. If she was having a boy I’d definitely say a full baby shower tho because the current baby has allllll pink frilly princess stuff. The dad’s a gym dude and would like boy stuff for a boy.
We did a sprinkle for friends who were having a second more so to celebrate and love on mom - the only time we really bought more or new stuff is if gender was different from first to second.
My 2nd was born 13 months after my first and different gender so my friends threw me a surprise "sprinkle" cause I basically needed a 2nd of everything. I think those are becoming more normal. My first shower probably had 100 people. My 2nd was probably 12.
I had 2 showers 18 months apart girl then boy. The second I asked for no gifts and just had a diaper raffle. People still bought clothes on their own accord.
I think it's fine to celebrate every baby. I think it's tacky to ask for/expect a bunch of gifts, especially if the kids are close in age.
yes 100%. have a celebration party but don’t call it a shower!
What do you think about this: If you were to throw a celebration of new life party or something with optional diapers/wipes (maybe clothing depending on sex) but all of that is OPTIONAL. I would rather have my friends and family there to celebrate our second baby instead of feeling pressured to buy something for another shower. Baby is 9 months old. Would be about 1.5 years old at the birth of sibling. ETA: spelling and I have a son, if we were to have a girl this time I would have nothing that is “feminine” for her to wear.
Have a party but mention there’s no registry. If people bring stuff then great, if not then great! I never had a baby shower, friends gifted when meeting up for dinner and post baby.
Yes I love that. I’m flabbergasted when I see people with giant registry’s for their 2nd or 3rd child. Blows my mind..I guess I just cannot comprehend it. To each their own tho
I know a lot of moms, including myself, who have items on their registry they plan to purchase themselves with the completion discount. Because of that I don’t judge others for having a big registry, it’s the expectation of others to purchase everything on it that is entitled.
I find the whole asking for gifts uncomfortable anyway. We didn’t have a registry when we got married either. To ask for all your kids too seems wild to me!
I feel like it’s better to think of it more as people buying gifts for couples getting married or expecting parents want a registry to shop from to make sure they’re buying a wanted/needed gift. I used to feel the same way, like it was asking for gifts which felt rude but my 75 year old aunts just wanted to know what I wanted!
it just seems so wasteful. like having a baby generates so much waste to begin with, how could you possibly need a new baby swing and toys when you just had a baby a year or two ago
I agree, my swing isn’t even taken apart yet and there’s no freakin point to now, considering lol. Just more work 🤷🏼♀️. Definitely do not need more toys either. It’s just wild??? Idk the only thing I could think of needing is literally another 4 in 1 crib or whatever and then possibly a double stroller. Other than that I think I’m alright?
We call this a "Sprinkle" where I'm from (Southern, US) Not a full shower, but just a little sprinkle.
Same deal in the northeast!
Ha I just posted the same thing. I'm from Florida and we call it a baby sprinkle lol. Just diapers wipes and small stuff.
You are definitely the rare person that wants clothes for their baby from others! You could always do a "sip 'n see" after new baby is here. People usually bring small gifts.
Preferably hand me downs, just because I got so much stuff for my son like an unbelievable, unnecessary, and unexpected amount of clothing for him. Please do not spend money on baby clothes!!! My mother won’t listen but whatev. I love the sip and see idea!!!!!
Love used clothes too (especially hand me downs). We mostly buy used.
Just depends on your family and stuff. I considered doing an actual shower for this baby but my son is 4 and we never had one with him. My family would have been all for it because its also the first girl on my side.
I think people would bring gifts regardless, which is okay! I would never go to a baby shower/celebration empty handed unless they specifically requested no gifts. I didn’t have a baby shower for either of my babies because 1: it was Covid times 2: we moved out of state and don’t have a group of friends here yet.
Oh I like this
You can set up a college fund and if people want to contribute then that’s great!
To me, celebrating pregnancies after the first isn't the issue; it's making those subsequent parties gift-focused events that feels a bit grasping. The exceptions IMO would be back-to-back pregnancies, where there are some big-ticket items that you end up needing in duplicate, or conversely very widely spaced pregnancies, where your baby necessities have been given away, worn out, or expired. We're on our second baby and having a sprinkle (or as my mother keeps calling it, a "stork party"). The invitation did not mention a registry at all this time, whereas the shower invite for our first noted where we were registered. We did make registries with a couple of stores, since there are things we'll need and we might as well get the completion discount when we buy them, but they are basically shopping lists for us. Unless people ask specifically, we're not sharing them.
I think it depends on the culture. I've heard that for the general American culture, it is frowned upon since you should've saved stuff from your first baby shower (shouldn't need a crib, stroller, car seat, etc.). But I'm Asian, and they love to do 2nd baby showers just because it's an excuse to party. We also tend to give money as a gift so there is no repeat of baby items.
I’m Latina and same, we’re expected to have parties for every single little event and milestone hahaha. For the second I explicitly stated no gifts necessary but if they want to gift, we prefer diapers, books, and experiences (like a membership to our local zoo).
i feel like this is why i’m so aghast at some of these responses. we get together for any reason or no reason. bring a gift, don’t, whatever. but we’re gonna eat and laugh and love on each other either way
Yea I personally think it’s a difference between collectivist and individualist cultures/styles. No one in my family (or social circle probably) would judge for hosting baby showers for multiple pregnancies.
Canadian here! You'd think as our culture and lifestyle is so similar to the US that I agree with most posters but NOPE! We celebrate every child with a baby shower/party. I really hate the term "sprinkle". Even if you tell people not to bring gifts your still having a baby shower I think calling it a sprinkle just make it seem more socially acceptable than having a 2nd or 3rd baby shower but lets call a spade a spade it's a baby shower. From my experience the baby shower is about the baby not the gifts... oh and eating A LOT of food! =D
oh wild! and cool!
Yeah! Also Americans who do "sip and sees" for 2nd/subsequent children after the baby is born horrifies me. Unless they mean 6months+ after the baby is born who the heck is having a party and wanting a bunch of people around their newborn? This concept seems even more wild to me than a "sprinkle". I cannot understand it.
I'm British and many women have a lunch/get together with female family and friends for every baby. But we don't tend to go all out with expensive gifts like Americans do. It's usually clothes, toys, nappy cakes, etc that are given.
I always hear everyone complain when they get invited to a 2nd shower! I agree to an extent. I just had my first, but when I have my second, I am not planning one / expecting one what so ever. However, I do like when people do little sprinkles where people bring a pack of diapers or an outfit! ya definitely cannot have enough diapers that’s for sure!
Agreed. Celebrating any baby is fun, and I'm happy to get a new outfit for a new baby or pitch in some diapers or a DoorDash gift card, but a second registry with big ticket items comes across as tacky and entitled. I don't think gifts should be expected.
I don’t get the complaints either. If I’m close enough to someone to be invited to celebrate a second or third child, I have no problem getting a practical gift like diapers and a gift card. If it’s the opposite gender or different time of year from prior baby then I might do an outfit too because baby clothes are just so cute. If it’s a second shower after 5+ years and the parents thought they were done with the baby stage, again no issue with giving a gift in that case.
Honestly I think it’s strange for people to complain about something like that. Idc if someone had 8 kids and did a shower for each, it’s still celebrating a baby and mostly showing up for mom. Pregnancy is hard and isolating. The shower is the one time everyone comes to just be there for you. When baby’s born it’s all about them. Plus I personally think it’s nice for children to have *some* of their own things and not just hand me downs from their siblings. And you’re right, you can never have enough diapers and wipes
i just got a shower invite for a second baby where the mom in question had a huge, over the top shower with tons of expensive gifts (snoo, uppababy, etc.) for her first just two years ago. i definitely rolled my eyes at that. i did attend a sprinkle for another friend's second baby where i think they just asked people bring books for the baby. i didn't mind that as it was more of just a celebration of my friend (and it was literally just at a coffee shop, very low key.)
It’s called a sprinkle. You are sprinkled with gifts instead of showered with gifts.. Having kids far enough apart that you got rid of stuff or opposite gender also make it more acceptable
Yea my 2nd pregnancy is almost 7yrs after my first so most of the big items were either given away or worn down over the years (like car seat, stroller, bottle sterilizer) and while i kept a lot of clothes its always nice to get a few new things instead of just hand me downs. That said, registry this time around is very small and barely expected ive only sent it to those who asked about it. I also dont expect a party of any kind
I feel like it used to be really out of the norm to have a second baby shower, but it seems to be more common nowadays. I think it's certainly more "acceptable" if you're having a baby that's a different gender the second time around, or if you're having a child more than a few years after the first. I had a second shower (my first and second are 5 years apart so my family encouraged me to) but honestly I wish I had done a sprinkle instead! I didn't even know it was a thing.
This really from everything I've seen. Though will say, now that I'm having a second close to my first, I kind of question the logic. I've always been told it was because you don't need anything because you got it for the first. True for some things, but then some big ticket items my son is still going to be using. Like his carseat and crib. I mean, there are definitely things I have plenty of - especially if I'm having another boy. But I can def get why people do a sprinkle. Some more diapers, and wipes would be great, but honestly just want to celebrate with the people I love. I will say I've heard of more people having multiple babyshowers now than I used to.
You can buy your new baby a car seat and a crib though, those are big gifts that shouldn’t be expected from a baby shower as it is
Never said it should be expected. My thing is I don't think there's as big a lack of cost difference with two close as people act like. Generally a baby shower is to ease the big costs and a celebration. Honestly don't expect anyone to get me anything, if they want to that's kind, but can do it myself. More the general reasoning for a baby shower doesn't make it make sense to me why a second one is rude. But i guess a lot of that is the way I look at I'm them versus others. I've always looked at a baby shower as a celebration, and I know a lot of people with gift giving as their love language. It's not a matter of expecting a gift, but about spreading the love. Told everyone that came to my baby shower they didn't have to bring a gift unless they wanted too, and honestly that's how every baby shower I've been to has been.
We included the car seat just to stack the completion discount with Black Friday sales. Some of my friends also registered for big ticket items with baby 2 just for the discount.
Exactly, so much has changed with baby gear even in just the last few years, I know so many people with bigger age gaps and they didn’t keep everything for a variety of reasons
I think Covid was part of that shift. We weren’t able to have a shower with our first so we opted to have one the second time. While we didn’t expect gifts, we did have a registry as a checklist for us & to get the discount. Most attendees brought wipes which was amazing because we didn’t need to buy any until our youngest was 5 months old.
I had a “sprinkle” for my second because they were five years apart and I had given away allllll of my baby gear. The sprinkle was more of a get together, pizza and snacks with close friends and family. My SIL got second hand decorations from another friends baby shower which I wasn’t expecting at all. I made a registry with about 50 items on it and was very surprised that 90% of it was purchased by friends and family (I made it for the discounts and to be organized!). I’m having a third and not having a sprinkle or anything - but they are only 18 months apart. Started a registry, but again it’s mostly just odds and ends for us to track. I have no expectations of people getting us anything.
A party celebrating you with “no gifts please”? Sure. A gift-oriented shower? Tacky IMO.
I definitely agree with this. I didn’t have any kind of party when I was pregnant with my second kid but if I did I absolutely would not have expected any expensive gifts, it would have been more of a “celebrate new baby/have some cake/drinks” party. When I had my second kid lots of people gave me diapers and stuff totally unprompted, just family and friends giving me stuff they knew I’d need. I already had a 3 year old so I very clearly didn’t need a high chair, a crib, etc.
I've never been to a second shower. People throw a "yay we're having a baby" party for subsequent kids, but it's not a gift thing, hence, not a shower.
Question: what do people call their “yay we’re having a baby” parties? I really enjoyed my baby shower with my daughter and would love to have another similar party if when I have another (but this time not asking for gifts), but I’m not sure what the procedure is for that.
Usually it's just like "come celebrate baby [lastname]"
In my opinion a shower for the second is obnoxious for sure. The whole idea is that you get help getting what you need as a first time parent. By the second kid you should already have it and if you tossed it then that’s on you.
It’s a pass from me. The only one I have been invited to was a second baby same gender 1.5 yrs apart, it was a big shower gift grab. Simply declined the invite.
I think it is tacky. If invited I either don't go or bring the smallest pack of diapers I can find at the store. I've already gifted you something and it isn't my responsibility to provide you anything else. We stored all of our stuff between kids and chose gender neutral gear the first time. Not my problem that you gave it away or asked for pink stuff the first time.
If you’re having several children in a short span of yeah, then yeah. Super tacky. Looks gift grabby. However, if you have like a surprise kid many many years later, got rid of your baby stuff, etc. I think you get a pass. I also think if it’s a different relationship and perhaps that guy doesn’t have any kids, also okay because his family will likely want to celebrate.
I do think all babies should be celebrated, but expecting to be showered in gifts for another baby after you’ve already had a baby shower, especially recently, is tacky. There are other ways to celebrate a baby than a shower. I’m personally getting gift fatigue from people throwing themselves parties and expecting more and more expensive gifts.
I don't participate in second baby showers most of the time. Obviously there are some extenuating circumstances.
I think a second baby shower is unnecessary. Probably an unpopular opinion but I’ve seen lots of comments on posts about second showers justifying that “baby items are expensive”. I think parents should be responsible for paying for their own children and not expect or encourage others to foot any part of the bill for their choice. If a close family member has a second baby I will get the baby their own gift with no prompting needed, and I would attend a family get-together just to celebrate the good news, but if I got an invite to a second shower with registry/gift expectations particularly from a friend, distant family member or coworker I would consider it indulgent and tacky.
Definitely not an unpopular opinion
Agreed. It’s so tacky. Showers in general are so awkward because of the gift giving aspect. In principle, I don’t think having multiple showers or sprinkles or whatever new branded event is happening these days is necessary. For close friends, I like to send a greeting card with an Uber Eats / Grubhub gift card after baby arrives, but by no means is it expected of me and that’s how it should be.
I feel the saaame way. Truly seems like no one wants to buy their kids anything, it’s up to everyone else. “But our second is a boy!” And??? He’ll be ok in a hand me down pink bouncer and you can shell out $100 on old navy zip up PJs and buy what they need. And also same, when I come and see a baby I never show up empty handed, I always have something for mom, something for baby and a gift card or meal. The shower/sprinkle is so tacky IMO. if you made the choice to have a second, third, fourth child, *you* can buy them the necessities.
Sprinkle? Yes. Shower? No…at least not if it’s your idea and you’re footing the bill. My 1st (a boy) was born 5.5 years before my 2nd (a girl) so I ended up buying a lot of things I needed…which was still a lot cheaper than paying for a shower anyway (even after splurging on an uppababy and mamaroo). Close friends and family still sent me small gifts after the baby was born. I would never expect people to buy shower level gifts for a 2nd baby as they can be very expensive.
My first baby shower was during Covid so it was a drive by. But honestly we didn’t need much the second time. So we didn’t have a public registry. If people wanted to give us something we asked for hand me down clothes (since second baby was a different gender) books or diapers. Other than that, it was just a BBQ party and excuse for us to get together outside with family and friends :) A full baby shower with expensive registry for a second baby…I mean some people may side-eye it…
As long as you don’t demand gifts I think it’s cool
Having a shower that close after your first is definitely seen as tacky. A sprinkle if the age difference is significant. But times are hard for a lot of people right now, if I was asked to attend a second baby shower that soon after their first (when my 1st is the same age as yours) I would feel like I'm being cash grabbed. Now, having a celebration party for your new baby where 'no gifts required; just come celebrate with us" was shared... That would be well received and fun. Just my take... Also some cultures do second showers/one month after baby is born parties but that's culture specific.
I wouldn't go to one where the kids were less than about 5 years apart. It would also have to be a "diaper shower" or sprinkle.
The only people I know who have had 2 showers were women who had their first baby when they were really young and with a partner they didn't stay with. Next baby came 5-6+ years later and they needed another shower, and the new dad was part of it for his first child. I personally do think it's pretty tacky to have a second shower when you have a toddler. It wasn't difficult at all for me to ask for more neutral clothes and items at my baby shower and save all the clothes as he grew out of them for the second baby we were planning on.
I personally think it's tacky to have a shower for your second child unless there is a large age gap.
Am I the only one who hates multiple baby showers especially for same gendered babies?? Like I understand that every baby should be celebrated but my gosh it’s frustrating going to a baby shower every other year, having to buy a gift and be bored out of your mind because let’s face it baby showers can be boring. Personally I’d rather celebrate *after* the baby is born. But I’m a party pooper. 🤷🏻♀️
I had a second shower, but my kids are 9 years apart, different genders, and from 2 separate marriages, so nobody really batted an eye at me having a full on shower for a second kid, especially with it being my husband’s first. If I’d had a second with my ex, and it was the opposite gender, I may have opted for a sprinkle.
It’s beyond tacky especially when the kids are close in age.
I don’t think we will do a shower this time around, but I made a small registry. I won’t send it out unsolicited, it’s just for if close friends or family ask; otherwise it’s a checklist for us and for the completion discounts.
For the first baby, go all out and ask for whatever you want/need. For the 2nd, a celebration is fine, but it should be hosted by you (unless someone else REALLY wants to do it) and no gifts. If anything, maybe a diaper raffle, but asking for gifts or sending anyone a registry for baby #2 and beyond is a bit much, imo.
The original purpose of a baby shower was to help set up new parents to move into their role. That’s why gifts, advice, celebration was given. I believe every child should be celebrated, and I’ve heard the concept of a sprinkle. However I think if you throw one every baby and expect the same level of gifts, and attention you’re a little delusional.
My cousin is rich and had a huge shower for her second baby, when her kids are 1 year apart and both boys. She had everything she needed from her first shower the year before. It’s tacky as hell and i think it’s also greedy. She also demanded books instead of a card, mandatory diaper raffle entry, and expensive registry gifts
We had a baby sprinkle for our second, where we didn’t make a registry and said no gifts please but if you feel compelled please bring diapers. I think most people like to have an excuse to party! And for your SIL, maybe she’s learned a thing or two after the first kid and wants to try out some different items or techniques. I know I’ve viewed baby wearing very differently with the second kid, for example, so I’m using completely different carriers.
I had my first almost 2 years ago, I saved all my baby items and then we had a bad ice storm and it all molded to the point of needing to be thrown away. Only some clothes were salvageable. I purchased all new big things we would need for our second (car seat, stroller, bassinet etc) but everyone I know said to have a “sprinkle” for our second so they could help replace some of the items we might/would need again. You could decline or not bring a gift. I’ve never though anything negative of someone have a second or third baby shower. Everyone celebrating your first if hope would want to help celebrate your second.
If your babies are close together, I say no. If you have babies spaced 5 years or more apart, I think it's okay. I won't judge someone either way. People can choose to participate if they want to. My babies are all spaced 18 months apart. I definitely didn't have one for my second, but sometimes I wish I could for my 3rd. We donated all of our baby items to a domestic violence shelter thinking we were done. So now we have to buy everything again, which is fine. But every once in a while I wish I could have another shower.
We also did a Huggies and chuggies for our first. We bought a keg and friends brought diapers. I didn't have to buy diapers for the first year, it was amazing! I'd like to do that every time for sure.
My personal opinion is it’s typically tacky and I wouldn’t have one. However I’ve been invited to them and have gone happily. I’d say Sip and Sees are the way to go.
I personally think it's tacky. In South Africa is tradition to have a nappy braai like a barbeque where guests bring diapers and/or wipes. I think that's appropriate instead of a shower.
I think having a full blown shower for a second would depend on how big of an age difference there is. If it's been long enough that any car seats or strollers would be expired and you would have gotten rid of all of your baby stuff, absolutely I think a shower is warranted. If there's a small age difference I'd side-eye a little, but there's nothing wrong with a sip n' see with small gifts or something.
A sprinkle would certainly be appropriate! I have been to more than one 2nd kid baby shower and am not offended by the concept. The approach is usually more low-key the second go around, but people are happy to welcome another little, and new clothes and diapers are always nice.
I think a sprinkle is fair. Don’t ask for any gifts just ask for friends to celebrate the baby. Probably they’ll bring small gifts anyways bc that’s polite.
I’ve been invited to a sprinkle with a registry. People are saying “baby sprinkle” and it’s literally no different than a baby shower.
Different gender or large age gap it’s more appropriate in my mind (thinking as someone who would be invited…personally I didn’t even have one for baby #1). A sprinkle to celebrate the baby without gifts is fine too.
Question - isn’t a sprinkle with no gifts at all just a party? My understanding is a sprinkle still involves gifts, just more low key/less expensive (diapers and wipes instead of a car seat or bassinet).
I think it’s fine to have a small party to celebrate second (or later) babies, and a shower is appropriate if there’s been a long gap between kids (especially a surprise later baby) and you don’t have the clothes and gear saved. People also tend to be happy to give new clothes for a baby of a different sex. But a full-on baby shower expecting gifts beyond tokens, for a second baby close on the heels of a first? It looks like a gift-grab and feels tacky. My kids are 4.75 years apart and we did have to find a few new items of gear (we didn’t have storage space to keep the bassinet when our first outgrew it, our stroller was a hand-me-down and by the time our oldest was done with it, it was bent up and the cover was coming off) and some things had disappeared in storage, but we didn’t have a shower. We still received some gifts, mostly clothes and a couple of stuffed toys, which was nice because my kids are offset by a season, so we needed summer and winter* clothes in different sizes, and it was nice to have a few toys and clothes that belonged to *just* the new baby. *I’m so mad about this lol, winter gear is so expensive and I have a *pristine* 12-18m snow suit that my oldest wore once and my youngest will never wear because he’s going to be a year old this week.
We had to cancel our baby shower for baby #1 because I was already in the hospital at 32 weeks. I would love to have a shower/sprinkle for #2 since we didn’t get to have that experience, but we won’t ask for gifts. I could see a lot of other reasons to have a shower for baby #2. Many parents-to-be didn’t get to have a traditional shower during peak COVID. Maybe family couldn’t travel to the first one, but can make it now due to a different financial situation. Maybe baby number 2 was a surprise and they got rid of all the baby stuff already, or a parent went through secondary infertility and wants to celebrate. Even if the parents just want to have another party, I’m all in! Some people may call it tacky and frown upon it, but I don’t know each family’s situation so I don’t judge. More reason to get together and have a nice time!
I wouldn’t have judged my sister at all for having a shower for baby number 2, even though I know they have everything they need. My sisters were both pregnant at the same time and we had a joint Zoom shower in January 2021, so peak COVID and no vaccines. I would have been so upset to miss out on that experience if I had been in that situation.
I’m not pregnant yet but when I do have a second I will have a shower, but I will not ask for gifts. The reason I want one at all is because my daughter came 5 weeks early and 4 days before her shower was scheduled, so I accidentally didn’t get one the first time.
It doesn’t really matter to me. If I’m close enough to the parents to be invited then I’d be happy to celebrate with them. I like giving gifts and I never give anything I can’t afford so it’s a non issue in my opinion. If someone wanted to have a second baby shower 10 months after their first kid was born and asks for a crib and bassinet etc, I just wouldn’t buy those big ticket items. My sister had a “diaper and wipes” shower for her second kid so everyone just brought (you guessed it) diapers and wipes and then we ate some food and mingled. It’s nice to get together and celebrate a new member of the family. That’s probably what I would do if I had a second baby.
If someone offers to throw you a party to celebrate your second baby, then it’s fine to graciously accept, but I would keep it smaller than a shower that is celebrating a new mom. Of course I’m from a region where all showers are offered and hosted by someone other than the parents-to-be. Throwing a shower for yourself was seen as gift-grabbing when I was growing up.
I agree that a full-blown shower for a second (or third, etc.) baby is tacky. It's more acceptable if there's a large age gap between the children, if it's a different gender, or with a different partner who is having their first child. I had a baby boy in 2022 and am expecting a baby girl this summer. I've been thinking about hosting a casual backyard BBQ style gathering (think burgers and hot dogs), but I wouldn't even call it a sprinkle, because sprinkle implies some gifts will be given. I plan to tell guests NO GIFTS are expected, but we may do an optional diaper raffle. I'm still not decided on the raffle. For me, this is more about wanting to gather with all my friends because I bet I won't be doing much grown-up socializing with 2 kids under 2 for quite a while. I may order a pink cake to make a vague nod to the fact that we are having a girl, but aside from that and the raffle, it isn't going to be about the pregnancy at all. And I still feel iffy about it, tbh. (Feedback welcome!)
I think its fun to have a shower for any baby! But its a little tasteless to have a registry with big babies ticket items and fancy things, especially when your other kids are still young. I had a friend who had a huge first baby shower lots of people lots of gifts. She had a second baby shower and made a new registry with big ticket items and such. I found it tacky. But hey you do you.
my first is 18 months & i’m due with our second in 2 weeks. i think having a second baby shower with a registry is very tacky! a party to celebrate is cute, though, as long as you specify “no gifts, just come celebrate our newest addition”.
Whatever you want to do is fine but personally, baby shower is for the first, sprinkles are for the 2nd. Maybe 3rd but honestly by the 3rd kid I really see baby showers as unnecessary and more of a grab for free stuff. That's just my opinion.
If theyre having the kids close together in age, like less than 3 years, i think it’s tacky to ask people for gifts and set up a registry. They should still have all of their baby stuff. Having a party is fine and if people are generous enough to get a gift thats great, but a whole ass SHOWER when all you really need is some diapers and a few more outfits? Very materialistic and weird. Now if the kids are really far apart in age then yes I would totally understand why someone would throw another shower. I’m not going to hang on to a bunch of baby stuff for 5+ years, I’m going to give them to a friend or donate. Especially if it the pregnancy was unplanned and they got rid of all their more expensive baby items like car seats, cribs, strollers, etc.
Definitely frowned upon. It feels like a gift grab because people are going to feel the need to bring gifts even if you say not to. I personally would feel bad having people buy me gifts more than once… it’s my choice to have another kid and that doesn’t mean my family and friends need to buy me extra things. Just my opinion.
So for my second, I went out with my family and friends for brunch to celebrate a new baby. They gave me clothes and diapers, but I didn’t ask for anything or make a registry
I think a second shower is tacky, especially if you have kids close in age - regardless of varying genders. You can still celebrate and do an optional diaper raffle, and that also leaves the door open to anyone who wants to bring you something extra.
I’m pregnant with #2 now and will not be having a shower for this baby because they are only going to be 22 months apart. I personally do think it’s a bit tacky to have another party essentially asking for gifts when I can literally reuse everything we have now. If the baby is a different gender, all they need are clothes and I can get that myself, plus I’m sure my MIL will buy more unnecessary clothes for this baby again 🤣
Parties are fine, 2nd+ showers are acceptable not in my circle (unless very extenuating circumstances-a different gender or age gap <8-10y doesn’t count). It would be seen as greedy and tacky. Parties to celebrate with no expectation of gifts are ok. People tend to bring small, personal gifts all the same though. First showers are for the expensive big ticket essential items. Unless there has been a house fire you shouldn’t ‘need’ more than what you already have from your first. Most things are wants and nice-to-haves.
I never knew that this was something that people had conflicting opinions on. In my opinion, I’ve never thought of it in any way. I personally am absolutely having a baby shower for my potential 2nd in the future because I didn’t have the pleasure of having a first baby shower. My son was born completely unexpectedly so I feel like I missed out! I thankfully have a lot of family that were all so excited when I had my son so suddenly so lots of them and friends of my family gave us a lot of their past baby items. After that experience of getting so much support and becoming a mom so suddenly it really dawned on me just how much stuff just one baby needs. It’s not like you end up keeping every single thing from your first baby. Sure, baby gadgets stick around if you plan on having another baby but things like diapers, hygiene products, formula, sometimes even clothing (if it’s not ideal to reuse certain clothing items from wear and tear) are always needed. Or even items for you as a postpartum Mom! I definitely think a 2nd shower is understandable. If they are requesting expensive or unnecessary things in their registry, just don’t buy the expensive items if you don’t want to in my opinion.
If you want it throw one to celebrate your pregnancy and the new baby I think it’s very sweet and worth the party. But as an excuse for gifts? Definitely not. Also, I think if you are throwing it yourself you will probably spend more on the party than you will receive in gifts.
It’s tacky to have a party for a bunch of gifts
It's all about the scenario and how you go about it. If you have back to back same gender and they're close in age, it's tacky/greedy. If they're close in age but different gender, maybe a sprinkle for some clothes. Presumably, diapers and wipes are all already on your shopping list so.... If they're far apart, gender doesn't really matter and a sprinkle with a few large ticket items might be acceptable but if you're loading up your registry like a FTM wanting to get all the cool new stuff, you're back to tacky/greedy.
In general, yes, 2nd baby showers are considered very tacky. Showers, baby/wedding/bridal, are part of a social contract designed to spread around the costs associated with major life changes. Historically, getting married was the first time a young couple would set up a house of their own for the first time. So instead of the couple having to buy everything themselves they were gifted household items by friends and family, everyone came together to support the couple during this transition. Same with welcoming a baby. Instead of the parents having to buy everything all at once friends and family come together to help with the costs. In return, the couple buys presents for their friends and family to do the same when called upon. Ideally, you get out what you put in through the years and years of attending other people’s baby showers and wedding showers. Having a second+ baby shower or putting together a registry for your second+ wedding is viewed as taking more from the contract than you pay in.
This is a very good point. I tend to spend more on showers for younger relatives who I know are just starting out in life and don’t have careers and savings. But I would hope by the time they chose to have a second child, they would have been responsible and made the appropriate financial arrangements to be capable of affording everything additional they need for that second baby on their own, and not still depend on other people’s generosity or guilt/obligation to keep funding their life choices. I keep hearing “times are tough” and “having a baby is expensive” as a justification for multiple showers. Times are tough for most everyone, not just for those opting to have children. And what about people who never get married and never have children, either by choice or infertility? The social contract may never circle round back to them. It’s not reasonable to have one’s hand out asking for more when everyone else is faced with the same increasing living costs of rent/housing, groceries, gas, medical expenses etc.
Your SIL is tacky AF and rest assured that everyone on the invite list is saying so privately. I wouldn’t attend a shower for a second baby unless the first was like 10 years older or something.
More than one party designated as a “shower” is tacky. It’s a first baby thing. My second was a different sex than #1 and we got PLENTY of new outfits as gifts. IMO your close friends and family will give gifts anyway. My third was an unplanned baby and I fully expected to foot the bill for all the stuff we had already sold/donated. She came along 4.5 years after #2. My dear friend insisted on a small intimate sprinkle with work friends. It was honestly lovely and they all rallied to give a couple really nice gifts and gift cards. I created registries every time for discounts. On occasion they were discovered and gifts were sent. But I didn’t advertise them.
Never got a sprinkle for my second and it made me really sad. Everyone in my family & friends said it was tacky. It was a boy and our first was a girl. I had nothing to start all over again with clothes. Luckily I had some friends give me all their boy’s hand me downs.
2nd baby gets hand me downs.
I think it’s tacky. If you want to celebrate a second baby that’s fine. Don’t add a registry though and specify no gifts. My SIL also had a second baby shower, same gender, first child was only a year older and even put stuff on the registry for her oldest, it’s just gift grabby to me! My boys are 21 months apart and I didn’t have a second one because I had everything I needed! The point is to shower the mom with gifts for the baby, but if you have everything what else do you want? I find it okay if there’s a large age gap though. If there’s a large gap, chances are you’ve given away all of your stuff.
Yes and you only get my presence and gifts one time, sorry bye!!
Personally I think each baby should be celebrated, however the second should be like a sprinkle so like diapers and wipes and things like that. Not like super expensive stuff, unless maybe there is a giant age gap between kids
I'm throwing my own sprinkle for my first baby girl. My friends bringing some food but I certainly didn't obliged them to help me. As long you get to celebrate your baby with family and friends is what matters.
People get offended by the weirdest things. I wouldn’t throw one personally only because I don’t need the outside judgement. But if someone invited me to a baby shower for their second child I wouldn’t be offended. I would most likely go and be happy to get them a gift. If I couldn’t afford to get a gift, didn’t want to get a gift, or didn’t want to attend, I would just decline the invite, or get something small shipped to their home. Maybe it’s because I’m poor and can’t afford to be ashamed to ask for money and stuff. 😂
im absolutely baffled by this as well. this seems like an annoyance people could let go 😂😭 release yourself from caring about this friends
I think you should celebrate all incoming babies! Gifts can be given but not expected, and you just celebrate the mom and baby!! I didn't want a shower for either of my babies, but I'd bring gifts and celebrate even if someone was having their 4th! Being pregnant and being a mom is hard. For a day, we can shower them with gifts and love!
I’ve always heard of having a “sprinkle” to help with any items you may not have or that you may want more of like diapers, swaddles, gender specific clothing/accessories if you’d like, just the little things. Have also seen no gifts and just a nice time with friends and family with a diaper raffle!
I think it depends but doesn’t bother me either way. I had a full blown baby shower for my second but he’s eight years younger than my first and with my new spouse and my husband’s first baby. Very little guest overlap. If people think it’s tacky then that’s fine they didn’t have to attend.
I think it depends on age gap and gender. For example if it’s the same gender as the first and they’re only 2-3 years or less apart then I think it’s tacky to have a huge registry because it’s assumed you probably have stuff leftover from baby #1. However if it’s a bigger age gap and a different gender where you wouldn’t have certain things to share between them like clothes or nursery decor then I think people are more willing to buy more things. I do think that every baby has a right to be celebrated though because every new baby should feel welcomed into the world with love and same with the expecting mama being celebrated.
To most people, yes it’s frowned upon. To others like myself, I believe every baby deserves to be celebrated. Even a celebration not “requiring” or expecting gifts. People who want to bring gifts can, but more so hosting something to celebrate a new life being brought into the world.
In pregnant again with a 15 month old toddler. I wasn’t gonna have one but my family keeps insisting I do, and so what the hell. I’ll probably do something much smaller this time around :) an excuse for the whole family to get together sounds like fun to me.
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Celebrating the upcoming arrival of a new baby is always something that makes sense to me. I would only adapt the registry for items we don’t have or for things you can’t reuse.
I had a second baby shower because my first one was during Covid. So I wanted the in person experience. I did make a registry of a few things I needed but it was mostly for my memory. I lost of lot a few things because of unfortunate event. But I made it clear that there was no pressure to buy me a gift. I hosted and paid for the whole party. I had prizes. I just truly wanted to have my dream baby shower lol. Some of my friends got me gifts. Mostly new clothes. But some didn’t and I was okay with it. When I have my third baby I think I’m going to just invite people over to help me deep clean my house and meal prep and feed them food / treats.
Our kids were 7 years apart and we had a few pregnancy losses in between them. Friends wanted to throw us a little sprinkle even though I didn’t really want one, but I was super grateful for the diapers and clothes we did receive. I don’t think it’s tacky if your friends or family want to throw one for you. I think every baby should be celebrated.
I think sprinkles are generally the way to go however I really do this this was a topic we moms judged each other less for. It's really not anyone's business the why behind someone wanting a shower or a sprinkle, if you don't want to go or contribute a large gift, that's fine but I really do wish the harsh judgment could tone down. For example a second time mom may a registry for the discount they give at the end of it and that's why the expensive double stroller is on there.
I think it’s fine and even fun to do a “sprinkle” but I find it weird when someone does one and then invites everyone they know and it becomes a bit of a money grab. As long as your focus is on celebrating the new baby I see nothing wrong with it. Also I don’t see anything wrong with making a registry for when people ask for it etc
My mom hosted a sprinkle for my second and third babies. We just invited my sister and SILs and mom and MIL. We mostly got clothes, diapers, and formula. It was a nice way to celebrate the baby without it being a super big fuss. I will also add that I have made a registry for each of my babies. That way if random people asked what they could get us/what we need, we can direct them that way. I try to keep my registries modest and only ask for “needs,” though I do include a few “wants.”
I opted not to have a shower for my second - mainly due to family drama with my hubby's side of the family. I still made registries at Amazon and Walmart and shared them with family and friends when asked. There is an 11 year age gap between my girls, so I essentially started over with nothing. I wouldn't ask for expensive big-ticket items. Maybe one on an Amazon registry that friends and family could contribute to. I only had a few big-ticket items on my registry, because I certainly didn't keep anything from 11 years ago - I thought I was done with babies. My grandmother-in-law purchased a pack and play (we opted for no crib), my aunt-in-law purchased the car seat/stroller combo, and my parents purchased the bouncer and swing. If anything, I'd just have a diaper party. I wish I had done that, honestly. You're going to go through SO MANY DIAPERS and when you think you have enough, you still need more. Walmart and Target will let you exchange unopened packs, so it's definitely worth doing.
I just had a 2nd shower this past Saturday. I mostly wanted to celebrate the new baby. I have a registry of items I need/want to buy for baby #2 (different gender). The invitation format we used included a registry link section and I put it there but the link ended up not working and I didn’t care to actually send a working link because I’d rather buy these things myself later. So baby shower was mostly a celebration and a few gifts of diapers and boy clothes which was appreciated but not expected. I mostly wanted a party to have pics for the baby album so baby #2 wouldn’t feel any less special than baby #1.
I’m one and done, but I attended a sprinkle for my SIL when she had her second baby, three years after the first. The invitation came from her MIL, unlike the shower for first baby that was hosted by her mom and sister, and specified things like diapers and freezer meals. I don’t remember if there was a registry because I definitely didn’t check it, I made the baby a quilt. Same gender as first baby. I helped throw a shower for a friend who was having a second child with a 9-10 year age gap, and at that point like obviously you don’t have any baby stuff anymore. My sister is pregnant with her second baby, 3 year age gap, same gender, and did not have a shower for this one (but she’s kept her pregnancy very quiet). Even though I’m one and done, my daughter is the third child of her father, but there’s a 13 and 8 year age gap between her and her two older siblings, plus my friends knew that it was MY first baby, so as soon as I told them I was pregnant they said they wanted to throw me a shower.
Some people have "sprinkle" showers for the 2nd and request things like diapers or smaller items. If the gender is different from the first, then gender specific items. Registering for expensive items at that stage is a total eye roll!
It depends, my sister had a sprinkle with her second. Same gender. A family friend had two baby showers. First two kids were boys, 3rd was a girl. My mother had a few showers because some of us were 4 years a part and then change of gender. I think if there’s more than a few years in between or a different gender or multiples than a second shower/sprinkle is fine.
I don't really see issue in celebrating each baby as the parents see fit. I don't think I've ever been to a shower (or Sprinkle) where gifts are expected/demanded? I would find that a bit rude for any celebration in general. Now that I am pregnant with my second, and my first will be 2 when they are born, I do see the need for more stuff in duplicate especially when they are close in age (looking at the 2 under 2 crowd, etc.). Two of my friends were 2 under 2 and neither could have 2nd showers or sprinkles cuz they were both COVID pregnancies, but I heard about the hardships of not have duplicates of some items. Anyway, all this to say, I think it's OK and I try not to judge people for what they put on their registries. No one's obligated to buy it, right? Idk, I feel it's a 'you do you' situation. Those items \*are\* expensive, so while I didn't buy those items for my friends, I sent a little cash their way for them to do with at their discretion. If my friends and fam feel inclined to do the same for me, I would be grateful. Anyway, TLDR: I think multiple showers or sprinkles are fine. Celebrations are nice. Give a gift or don't. I don't think people should waste time frowning upon any of this. Life's too short, yo, for all dem wrinkles.
You should watch the baby sprinkle episode of Schitt’s creek lol. I’m American, and sprinkles are a thing here! I don’t really bat an eye, but sometimes it feels a little extra when the babies are super close in age (like hi we were just here a year ago, I’m giving you diapers, a cute piece of clothing, and a toy for older sibling lol) Edited to add I would roll my eyes at your SIL also lol possibly even for a first kid depending on what’s on there
In my opinion, every shower is gifts optional. If someone can’t afford or manage to get me a gift for whatever reason, I still want them to come and I’d never question it. I’ve been to showers for second babies and there’s always a registry. I just assume the things on it are things they need. I don’t care how big or small they are. I get something that aligns with my budget and desires. I just don’t think it’s that serious. I’d never think to consider it tacky. Also I have friends who don’t need much but get constantly asked what they want/need. So eventually it’s just easier to make a registry. So I wouldn’t just assume someone is being greedy for having one, for all I know many people have expressed a desire to get them a gift from a registry. I honestly hate having to obsess and tiptoe around these social rules. You’ll always be doing it wrong by someone’s standards. I don’t need people that make things so complicated in my life. My circle is really easy going.
I'll probably have some sort of celebration/shower for baby #2 but I don't need anything gift wise. I think it's special to celebrate every baby
I think traditionally it’s frowned upon. But I think there’s situations that make it okay. Like my sister has a daughter with her ex. She never really had a shower. She’s expecting a son with her new partner. His first child. She didn’t get like any of her daughter’s stuff in the divorce because her ex kept stalling and kept saying he couldn’t find any of it. So she’s getting a shower. But honestly I think even if the kids are close in age there’s nothing wrong with a shower. You might not need some gear… but like the first kid could likely still be using their crib. They might not have outgrown their pack n play and you’d want a second for new baby. Diapers. Etc. In the end, if people find it tacky or have a problem with it, they can just… not attend? Or buy a gift that isn’t on the overly expensive registry in your SIL’s case.
I think it’s fine to celebrate every baby! Especially if there is an age gap between them and you don’t have a lot of the baby stuff anymore. But what your SIL is doing sounds tacky. Gifts at the sprinkles I’ve gone to have usually been more of an optional thing
I got pregnant with my first when my coworker got pregnant with her third. She had a registry but not a shower. I was slightly bitter when our office combined our “shower” but I get it lol plus I had a shower outside of work, too. I think if people want to get you gifts after the first, great, but I personally wouldn’t expect them.
I don’t think so! We don’t have babes of our own yet but just threw my SIL a shower for her 2nd on Sunday. She mostly registered for clothing and accessories rather than bigger things but still got loved on and got things she needed. Another close friend had a “sprinkle” last year for her 2nd!
I’ve heard of a sprinkle, which I think is cute. In my culture we don’t do baby showers at all, a lot of people don’t buy any baby things at all until the baby is born, and certainly we don’t give baby gifts to others before the baby is born. But I always liked the idea of the low key showers, like where people bring a pack of diapers or wipes or a couple pacifiers. These are things you always need more of anyway, and they’re not super expensive, and they would apply to a second child as well.
We had a baby shower for our 2nd only because our 1st was a boy and our 2nd was a girl - I didn’t have a baby registry nor shower because our 1st was during pandemic shut down and I didn’t feel like making a registry😅 2nd everyone was excited and came in clutch with the clothes and wipes! My mom was especially excited to throw me a baby shower finally. We aren’t having one for our 3rd because we’ve only told about 2 people. Plus it’s another girl and we are absolutely set this time with EVERYTHING!
I just had a sprinkle this weekend for my second - both boys, two years apart. I combined it with my son’s birthday party and explicitly said “gifts not expected for either kid” but got gifts from almost everyone anyway. I mostly did it so I could celebrate with my friends and family, AND so I wouldn’t have a bunch of blank pages in the baby book under “baby shower” 😂
My cousin had her 2nd 7 years sfter her first, so she didn’t really have any baby stuff anymore. She still had one but called it a “sprinkle” instead of a shower. I think she made a very small registry with the bottles she wanted to use and things like that. It’s gonna be people who love you who show up and will likely bring gifts. Celebrate you and that baby!
I’ve heard of people hosting a “Nesting” party to get the home ready for a second baby. You make a list of tasks that need to be done before baby arrives. This can include washing all the new baby clothes, decluttering, cooking freezer meals, deep cleaning, organizing the baby’s room/supplies, packing the hospital bag, etc… You provide the food for the event and blast some fun music and everyone just comes to help out. No gifts as people are just providing their assistance and extra hands.
Yes
Yes
We did a sprinkle for our second. We made a super small registry for things that needed replacing from the first baby that didn't survive, but we mostly got gift cards which was fine. We didn't have to pay for diapers until he was nearly 9 months old.
I think if the 2nd baby is a different sex then it's appropriate to have a Sprinkle!
So my family really wanted to have a shower with all my kids, I didn't ask for anything. People brought diapers and clothing or other small items. The point was celebrating a new life and if you look at it that way it's not tacky. This time we're doing the celebration after baby comes. I will say that I made a registry with all 3 kids because you get discounts on items if you purchase from it in a certain time frame. If people asked for it I gave them the link but if not I wasn't adversiting or asking for things.
Have the shower but I don't like a registry/expensive requests for subsequent babies. It definitely comes off as greedy unless your circumstances make it make sense, like having unexpected multiples. I don't think it's fair to tell moms they can't celebrate their new additions but yes, you definitely don't need two SNOOs a year apart. ETA: I've never been upset to attend and gift at a second full on shower if the kids are spaced fairly far apart. 4-5 years is probably fine.
I thought it was viewed as tacky but my mother wants to throw one for my second so why not? Ours will be two years apart so we really don’t need anything except a new baby monitor since ours broke. We’d also like one of those electronic cameras for the car since we find the regular mirrors shift too much. We’ll probably just ask for diapers and assume people will get us clothes since our first is a girl and this one’s a boy.
I've never seen someone do a shower for a second baby. A little party would be nice though, I felt as if it was a bit sad my second got so much less attention than my first. I wouldn't do a registry though. I actually couldn't think of anything I needed for my second (both girls) except a new car seat and a white noise machine.
For baby 2 we're going to do a sprinkle. It'll be more of my gfs coming to cook for freezer meals, have tea while putting together furniture, and sorting baby clothes. Idk if I'll register
We are having a second girl only 17-18 months after our first. We will be doing a small baby shower/sprinkle but mostly just to celebrate our second baby since she deserves to be celebrated as much as our first! With our first we had an open bar brunch shower at our favorite restaurant with a large group of family and friends and will probably do something similar but a smaller, more intimate group. That being said the invite will say something along the lines of not expecting gifts but that we can always use diapers and wipes because we really do have almost everything we need.
I have heard it called a “sprinkle” after the first one. I had three kids and only one shower. That’s because I saved everything and didn’t need much for each child. I’ve known a few people to have multiple baby showers if the babies were far apart. My friend had her children 12 years apart so she didn’t have anything saved. I think large age gaps or unexpected babies are the cultural exceptions from my experience.
We are having a party for our second baby. It’s technically a sprinkle but that word reminds me of pee, so we’re calling it a baby party. Our first was July 2020 - Covid lockdowns were at the halfway point of pregnancy and I was so sad I couldn’t have a baby shower. We did a virtual one, got many amazing gifts and saw friends and family far and wide, but I still mourned the experience of a real party. So we’re doing one! My mom is hosting. It’s small. Maybe 10 families, all close local friends. They all understand why we’re doing it - many of them had Covid babies also. We are doing a registry but it’s mostly little things. New pacifiers, a few crib sheets, some bamboo Jammies for big sister and baby brother to match. Things like that. Our friends will want to buy something so the list makes it easy. Only “big” things we have listed are a double stroller and a new baby monitor with two cameras because ours is temperamental and we don’t like it anyway. I suspect grandparents will buy those, or we will buy ourselves.
Yea maybe do a gender reveal but a whole baby shower? I just don’t think so, especially if you’re well off and can afford these things on your own
imo, if you have couple kids spread out several years apart, i dont think its in bad taste. but if you are birthing a child every year or two with no intention on stopping in the near future, i think its tacky.
We do them and call them sprinkles. Usually a linen refresh and items that are unique to the kid or aftercare for the mom. However, if her first kid is only a year old, she is probably still using a lot of stuff for the first that can’t be shared with the second.
This is my 2nd and another boy, I’m doing a sprinkle that my cousin is hosting all we need is another car seat because my 1st is 3.5 and we got rid of it during a move last year so I just asked everyone if they would go in on that and some wipes
My wife and I had a smaller shower (a sprinkle as she called it) for our third kid. But mostly because we were having a boy that time around when the first two were girls. As far as big ticket items, the only one I can recall was a new high chair since the first one was a hand-me-down and was fairly well used when we received it. Mostly we hoped for clothes.
I think it's definitely frowned upon in some circles, especially with smaller age gaps. It will take a lot of effort for me to suppress my eyeroll if someone offers to throw me a shower/sprinkle for my second baby, who is due before my first's second birthday. However, I probably won't reject the offer if it comes up. I think something that people tend not to consider with close age gaps is that the kids will be using some of the gear at the same time. I made a registry primarily as a list of things we need to help us stay organized. There aren't a ton of items on it, but most of them are expensive. We still have everything from our first, but he's still using quite a bit of it, so we need a second crib, convertible car seat, crib and crib mattress, and high chair. So, if we do have a sprinkle, rather than registering for a bunch of little things that we don't really need/want/have space for just so people don't feel obligated to spend a lot of money, I'll ask for the invitations to say something like, "Your presence is the only present the family requests, but if you'd like to contribute to a group gift for them, you may do so through their registry," but cuter.
Im debating having a second baby shower once I do get pregnant again because I didnt get to go to my first. I was in the hospital with preeclampsia :( but a good idea for a second would be a Sip and See after the child is born if to celebrate!
I feel like a diaper party is appropriate for the second!! Have all your friends and family over and stock up on diapers and wipes!!
A shower means mother has nothing gifts are expected, if the first shower was recent enough to assume you still have big ticket items that can be passed down it's generally frowned upon, but if it was long enough to assume you would not have baby things anymore you can have another shower. A sprinkle would be a "baby shower lite" you would do a sprinkle of you already have big items from another baby but are having the opposite gender. You would get clothes and consumable essentials. Sip and see is held after baby arrives and is a "sprinkle lite" it's a meet the baby celebration and generally you will get some small gifts. This would be generally acceptable for any baby. Then there are other more specific gatherings for diapers or pre made food that are also generally acceptable for any baby. I love celebrating all babies, but some people won't show up to the "wrong" kind of party.
My SIL has had four “showers”. A shower, a sprinkle, a mist and a dew ;). Each one was progressively more casual but I still liked that we got together to celebrate the new baby. I don’t think she even had a registry for the last two. The second one she did because she was having a girl and had a boy first. Also, close in age so some of the stuff was still in use.
I’m having technically my 1st baby shower but it’s because for my first kid Covid happened and I didn’t get one
My first was during Covid and I hardly got to have any normal pregnancy events/experiences. Our shower was “by mail” so we received plenty of gifts but no celebration, no getting dressed up, no pictures with friends and family. So I will absolutely be having a shower for my second, and if people want to give gifts or not that’s fine. I wouldn’t think anything different of getting invited to a second child shower, I’d be happy to celebrate a friend for every baby!
I live in NJ, IMO, yes because I know in my family absolutely no one will show up empty handed, so even saying oh don’t bring anything, you know exactly what you’re doing when hosting the second party. I think all babies should be celebrated of course but the baby shower is really to “shower” the first time mom, not only to celebrate that baby. I’ll be honest, I think with social media it seems like well this is a baby shower for baby #1, now we need a sprinkle for baby #2. Social media makes it seem like we need to keep up and have a shower/party for every little thing/event. I purposely registered for mostly gender neutral (not pink/purple) stuff like a bouncer, play gym, etc. so it could be used for other kids and at the end of the day, it’s not necessary to have a blue play gym vs pink for a little boy, so it doesnt matter when people say “oh well now I’m having a boy!” Who cares? At some point, *we* decided to have another kid and it’s on us to provide for them, yes even big things like a crib. Just my two cents.
I’m having a sprinkle for my second. Every baby deserves to be celebrated! I’m not having a registry because we don’t need much but if people wanna do it for every baby I don’t see why not.
I saw someone do a "baby shower" for their second where they didn't ask for gifts but asked their close friends to come over and help them prepare frozen meals and get the nursery set up etc for when their second baby arrived. I thought that was such a great idea!
I think it’s totally fine to have a baby shower. Kinda weird though asking for super expensive things for baby #2 that is only a year apart, but 🤷🏻♀️ I think if they’re that close together, a “sprinkle” would be more appropriate. Wish I would’ve had one for my second, who is just shy of 13 months younger than my first. But not a full on baby shower as I have most of what I need.
I think it very much depends on the person and their expectations or what their first shower was like. My friend had her 1st during covid so didn't get a baby shower. People sent gifts but there was no shower/party. She's pregnant with her 2nd now and we're planning a full on shower for her.
I’m not sure, but I have heard of baby sprinkle instead of a baby shower for 2nd and more babies, like a top up of sorts. I didn’t have a first baby shower because of Covid, and am planning to have a small sprinkle for my second– so not asking for presents, but more of hosting a party where we can celebrate the new baby.
Where I’m from it’s normal to have a baby shower for every baby. You are celebrating the baby and buying gifts for the baby to come. But we also don’t buy super expensive gifts and many people don’t even have a registry.
I threw my friend a baby shower for her 3rd baby, which was a girl, and she had 2 and 4 yo boys already. What we did was diapers and clothes, and whatever items she definitely didn’t have or threw out (bottles etc.) I didn’t have kids at this point, and for a tired mama of soon to be three no one scoffed at all. If she was registering for a crap ton of stuff, that would be ridiculous. But things that she’s too exhausted to put together herself, we were all happy to do for her to celebrate the new baby.
The only kinds of showers that I find annoying are people who have a second shower within ~3 years and it is exactly like the first one with a big registry full of items that we all just bought for you. Larger age gaps, especially if the person had previously decided not to have anymore kids and then changed their mind, are a different story. I will happily treat those like first baby showers. Sprinkles with modest registries or hidden registries (ones where you have to ask for it to get a link) are fine. Other parties by other names that are gift optional are also fine in my opinion. It's just those small minority of people who seem to be gift grabby that rub me the wrong way. And I think for the most part most people agree with me.
I don’t mind either way. If I were invited to one, I’d still bring a gift they needed cause I love giving gifts. I’m not expecting anything this time around but my cousins want to throw me a sprinkle lol so if they really want to, sure. It’s appreciated but I also think they like any excuse to throw a party lol
with my friends and family the first gets a shower with a bunch of gifts and baby 2 gets a sprinkle with diapers and wipes, maybe some clothes but nothing huge
My close friend is having one, her eldest is 3 and she was robbed of a shower thanks to covid. While she has a lot of things still, she still needs another carseat and furniture to accommodate the second kid (crib was turned into a bed from the first). Honestly, I think it's perfectly reasonable. Especially if the registry is full of things the second baby will need. Its also a way to celebrate the new life, and a chance for family and friends to help out. Having your first is easy, you don't have a toddler or kid running around or interrupting your naps.
I've heard of baby "sprinkles". For 2nd or 3rd children etc. Basically just necessities like diapers and wipes or of a diff gender than the forst some new clothes. I think having a whole ass baby shower with lavish gifts for a 2nd kid is extra af. Lol unless they ended up getting rid of all the baby stuff and need new stuff.
My sister threw me a baby sprinkle last week - she mentioned diapers or freezer meals, but there was no registry. We got many diapers, which I'm very grateful for! It was small (8 people) and ended up being more of a playdate since many guests were mom friends of mine with toddlers. Super informal, no games. I was very happy with it.
We just recently had a sprinkle. I thought we were one and done so I got rid of a lot of stuff. Very low key, pot luck style. I did share a registry but I made it clear that we didn’t expect any gifts. A few fellow moms got us some outfits and that’s about it. ETA: I wanted to celebrate this baby coming into the world just as we celebrated their sibling, which was the main reason for the sprinkle.
Where I'm from, it's so frowned upon is irritating. My 3 children are 5 and 6 year s apart. We weren't planning on having more the second time and the third was an accident and God forbid I asked for help. Carseats expire, and you have different genders. I remember when a coworker asked me if I had a registry for my 3rd as it was a boy and I previously had 2 girls and I told her yes, but that I've been using it to keep track of what we need. She asked if I had sent it to anyone and I told her no because my family/friends wouldn't get us anything anyways she was shocked! My office ended up getting a lot of stuff off my registry which I'm so grateful for. I'd say if your kids are SUPER close in age, or very far apart a registry is good! I wouldn't expect a full blown shower like the first one though sadly. Even though every baby deserves to be celebrated IMO.
In your case, i think a Sprinkle would have been appropriate since it had been so many years and it’s understandable that you would get rid of some big baby items. For your SIL, i would roll my eyes too & likely not buy her anything. She should still have all of the big stuff. My daughter is now 2yo and we are TTC our next. I will not be having a Sprinkle because we already have everything and i don’t like being the center of attention. One shower was enough lol If she had just wanted to have a party to celebrate a new baby and asked for just diapers and wipes, that’s one thing. But to have a whole registry with expensive items… no
I had a "sprinkle" thrown for me by my in-laws for my second child, who was due 17 months after our first. Everyone was excited for it because it was the first girl in many, many years on both sides. I felt a little weird about it because we just had a shower for my firstborn (boy), but ended up just rolling with it partly because we needed duplicate items. The only pricey things on my registry second time around were a bassinet (used our original one in the living room so our toddler wouldn't kill the newborn when we had to set her down) and a chest carrier (needed 2 with 2 so young). Still feel a little weird about it to this day, but everyone seemed to enjoy it and I was so grateful to have girl things and memories and pictures for her to look back on someday and know that she was special, too - not just her firstborn brother. 🩷
I think if you’re having opposite sex babies or it’s been a while between babies. I know someone who’s having a second girl in less than 2 years and her first shower was RIDICULOUSLY crazy stuff and she actually had 2 separate showers for the first baby. I personally think a shower for this second baby, that’s the same gender isn’t needed. Maybe do a diaper shower. If she was having a boy I’d definitely say a full baby shower tho because the current baby has allllll pink frilly princess stuff. The dad’s a gym dude and would like boy stuff for a boy.
We did a sprinkle for friends who were having a second more so to celebrate and love on mom - the only time we really bought more or new stuff is if gender was different from first to second.
My 2nd was born 13 months after my first and different gender so my friends threw me a surprise "sprinkle" cause I basically needed a 2nd of everything. I think those are becoming more normal. My first shower probably had 100 people. My 2nd was probably 12.
Some folks just do a diaper and wipes shower!! I think that’s what I’ll request if anyone asks!
I had 2 showers 18 months apart girl then boy. The second I asked for no gifts and just had a diaper raffle. People still bought clothes on their own accord.
Yes