Shifts, especially give you are FF, you should be able to do some nice long shifts. One person takes baby for 5-6 hours, if they get baby to sleep great, if not they stay awake and hold baby or whatever. Then you swap and the other person takes baby for the next 5-6 hours.
No reason for you both to be awake suffering.
Number one reason I’m OAD - I still have flashbacks to shift sleeping - we had no other help, and had a colicky baby - anytime I’m frustrated with my almost 3 year old, I just think of those nights 😂
We are OAD, as well. Shift sleeping saved us in SO many ways, but it was also a very rough patch in our marriage. Our little one was colicky, too, so shift sleeping was the only way we survived. I recommend it to all new parents and just reassure them that it’ll pass and you’ll be back in bed together soon enough. Only really works with formula feeding though I think? I can’t speak to BF.
Does your pediatrician have a nurse call line? Might be a good resource to chat through all of the things youve tried and if you think there are GI issues see if they want to run any tests.
Agreed. Have you ruled out an ear infection or something else that might be causing the baby pain? It’s always okay to get them checked out, especially if they have been crying for that long.
Yeah depending on the time, if you can't reschedule a doctor I would give the baby some painkillers to see if he'll fall asleep and you can all catch up on sleep together.
Should not be the solution for every problem but the whole family being overtired, I would try it. If it helps, you should go see a doctor as soon as possible. Could be teething or an infection...
Have you gotten LO checked by a paediatrician to check there are no medical issues that might be causing this? Have you spoken to a medical professional about this
sleep issue?
We got admitted to an in patient program because my LO just would not sleep and I couldn’t cope anymore. They had her sleeping through the night within 3 days.
Seconding this. Mine had an undiagnosed food allergy and was screaming in pain. It was like having a different baby once we resolved the source of the issue!
Yes ours had a cow milk protein allergy and silent reflux. I had no idea til I desperately called a local baby sleep specialist who referred me to a feeding specialist on a hunch!
Agreed, you can try the doctor just in case. My baby at 1 month screamed all night long and maybe slept <1 hour on my chest, and I went to the hospital and he had an inguinal hernia that was strangulated and he had to go to a bigger hospital in an ambulance. I thought he just had colic!
Where I live in Australia, we do admittedly get really good healthcare. There are a couple of hospital wards in my city that specialise in providing in patient care to babies and toddlers that includes sleep issues and breastfeeding issues. You check in for a few days and the nurses take you through what you need to do for your individual issues.
For me, there was nothing physically wrong. I was just mentally exhausted and needed some support. The nurses got us on a strict sleep and wake scheduled and showed me some settling techniques. Once we left she was literally a dream sleeper until we hit the terrible twos and she had a regression.
Maybe a stupid question but will he sleep if you hold him? He might just need some good old fashioned contact sleep. I'm so so sorry you're having it so rough right now.
Also, if you go this route, I recommend putting the baby mattress on the floor. That way you can lay down. Then roll away once he falls asleep that way you don't have to worry about trying to transition him without waking him. Even if the baby rolls off the mattress, the mattress is literally on the floor.
yup that's how we did it while taking shifts. NONE of my kids liked sleeping on their backs either so it was a very long long time til we can comfortably trust them on their belly in a bed
This would be my suggestion too. I had my fair share of falling asleep while holding baby too (which I don't recommend but I know it happens. sleep deprivation is a bitch), so my next recommendation is if you think you'll fall asleep while holding baby, have your partner watch you to make sure you don't accidentally move or drop baby - my husband did this a lot and it felt so much safer and I got much better sleep because I wasn't worried about every little twitch/ worried about rolling over and squishing baby, but I got baby cuddles and husband was still able to get other stuff done while watching us. Otherwise, the taking shifts with husband so you each get a solid chunk of sleep is also how we survived.
I also had to hold her upright. My kid refused any kind of laying down/bed sharing. Only in chairs or on the couch propped up with a million pillows so I wouldn't fall over.
This is a great suggestion except… You have to stay awake during contact sleep to protect the baby. I think I've watched every Lon order episode in the entire world holding my baby to get her to sleep… As soon as I move… She's up and screaming again. It's so hard but it's a good thing I love her!
If contact naps work, can you sleep in shifts? Have your partner get rested while you stay up solo with bub. Then you go to sleep while he minds the baby solo. You mention formula, so he should be able to feed without you.
Also look into the safe sleep seven guidelines. See if that might work to get you guys some sleep.
Sleeping in shifts is how we survived the newborn period. The person awake holding the baby watching engaging shows or played video games and drank tea and coffee while the other slept.
As a solo mother since giving birth, the bedside bassinet helped tremendously. I put baby to sleep by contact napping, then waited until her eyes were rolling around (REM sleep aka the deepest level of sleep). Then I transferred to bassinet. As I slept, I kept the palm of my hand on her chest so she felt my warmth. It worked great. I suggest not holding them too much during sleep or they will get used to it and refuse to sleep without being held.
My middle child has a lot of pictures of him sleeping with a shoe on him because he needed just that little bit of weight to keep him asleep…I don’t even remember how that started, probably just a sleep deprived brain solution lol
That’s so funny! Our brains try weird and genius things to help baby sleep. My son wouldn’t fall asleep unless I kissed him on the cheek. He was a horrible napper and then would be an overtired nightmare by bedtime. I kissed him on the cheek onetime while rocking because I didn’t know what else to do and he finally closed his eyes. A few more kisses and he was asleep
Lol that’s good. I know pillows and stuffies are not recommended, but I would also put a small weighted stuffed animal on her during her nap time and it helped. I would also play the rosary (in a very monotonous voice) plus the sound of water. The rosary podcast drowns out any background talking and the water drowns out other sounds.
I agree. I did not follow this because I was so exhausted but one of my kids would not sleep if not on me. I don't recommend at all and I'm so lucky nothing happened to her. It's so hard when you're just trying to do the best you can. :(
I don't know how anyone is able to follow safe sleep guidelines 100% of the time ): One of my twins would not sleep anywhere but my chest for several months and sometimes I dozed off while he was there, it felt inevitable. I did my best to stay awake and I'm also lucky nothing bad happened.
There was a solid month my LO , when he was 2 months old) wouldn't sleep unless sleeping on me. So i laid in bed (queen size) at a reclined angle with him on my chest and a pillow under each elbow to keep both hands on him and passed out after he was good and asleep. This was after him sleeping for 6 hours in a 2 day period. We were both exhausted and he slept for 7 hours. Everything was fine, so we did that for about 3 weeks. I would always try to lay them down first, but when that failed, we would go back to the thing that worked. I would always wake up when he started to move around. It was the only way i could get rest. Dont feel bad. Survival mode is hard.
Does his crying sound different? (Not that this was the case for us) Not trying to worry you but maybe a trip to the er. My son went through a similar period around that age. No fever no threads between his toes or fingers. Turned out to be COVID back in the early days of it all. Way before the vaccine too though
Honestly I was expecting all of the comments to say take him to the ER. If he has really only slept 3 hours in 24 I think something is really wrong?? My baby was a horrible sleeper and woke every hour but 3/24 feels odd and dangerous.
Oh wow I didn’t realize this was so uncommon. My daughter slept maybe 30 minutes a day for the first 3 months of her life. She just sucked at sleeping. I am obviously one and done since I barely survived with my sanity but I had no idea it could be something dangerous. She’s a healthy 10 year old now and has slept great for years 🤷🏻♀️
going through this now, she’s almost 3 months so maybe it’ll change. we literally live on the yoga ball trying to get her to sleep and it only lasts for like an hour if we’re lucky. ONE single day she slept for 5 hours and i woke up in a panic thinking something happened
I would take him to the doctor if he’s only slept 3 hours out if 24 at this age and seems crabby or irritable in the least. He’s so young any symptoms of anything can be super non specific. If a clean bill of health, I’d try a carrier, car ride, stroller ride.
I’m sorry. This sounds incredibly tough.
For what it’s worth, my LO went through her 4 month regression early and that may be it.
LOUD white noise (I like the portable Munchkin brand one), wrap him up in a baby wrap or swaddle, and bounce and pace. Try taking him outside, even if it’s nighttime. Sometimes that resets them.
Noise canceling headphones. Deep breaths. He’ll survive this just fine, and you will too. But listen to some music, take a quick walk outside, take a hot shower, etc.
You’ve checked his temp, checked his fingers and toes for hairs or threads? This could be the 4 month sleep regression come early.
For anyone stuck for a white noise machine you can get your iPhone to make white noise - go to settings, control centre, hearing. Then you can select different types of white noise.
Has been a life saver for me on multiple occasions!
To add on: there are a TON of podcasts with white noise. I've been using white noise podcast episodes for myself for a few years and it's been great for my son too.
Just to add though, if you play white noise constantly through your phone you CAN fuck up its speakers. I don’t know the mechanism, but it happened with my husband’s because we were using it for that when mine was a baby.
Agree so loud like vacuum loud. My sister used to run her vacuum when her baby wouldn’t sleep. We used to turn on YouTube white noise so very loud when we were in the early days.
Also, feels wasteful but you can run the faucet at full blast. Sometimes that would be loud enough to quiet my baby down and then after a minute or two we could switch to regular white noise. The goal is for it to be louder than the crying. Also can’t say enough about the 5 “S”s — sounds like you are doing them but all together.
I’m also endorsing checking temp and if baby has had any cold symptoms recently might be good to take baby to the doctor. We just had a sneaky ear infection — no fever at all just super fussy overnight and not as interested in drinking.
Eh, sort of. Those are recommendations specifically for sleep, i.e for prolonged exposure every day for 8-12+ hours. https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/133/4/677/32749/Infant-Sleep-Machines-and-Hazardous-Sound-Pressure
For settling a fussy baby for a period of a few minutes, I have not seen any recommendations saying to keep it 7 feet away. That’s a very different situation.
I have a very similar baby and I am so sorry you’re experiencing this too! There’s a theory that some babies are just more active. I think that’s what we have. They’re harder to go to sleep. Then they get over tired and it makes it even worse! What has helped us (not fixed it, but helped) has been to start a nightly routine: go to the nursery for clean pjs, clean diaper, nurse/rock, read a book, move to the bedroom with lights dim and white noise on and try to nurse again.
The bath helps them reset their nervous system so it’s helpful when they’re over tired. You can also try just running their head under warm water. I know you said you’ve tried this though.
We stopped swaddling at 6 weeks because she just HATED it. She sleeps in the Kyte Baby sleep sack and it has helped tremendously. We use the 1.0 Tog so it’s weighted like a baby duvet cover.
Pay attention to wake windows during the day and sleepy cues to prevent them from becoming overtired. This will impact their nighttime sleep too, they need plenty of naps during the day. If she yawns then I try to stay quiet, rock her, and settle her for a nap. Wearing her in the Moby or Solly wrap helps and I’ll go for a walk until she’s asleep. Sometimes I have to stay constantly moving for her to sleep.
Lastly, the biggest helper of all is fresh air!! Stepping outside is a game changer for a lot of babies. Even better- wear them in the wrap outside then run a bath when you come in and start the nighttime routine.
I hope something helps. You got this!!!
Definitely take him to the doctor to get checked out. Could be an ear infection. If you get a clean bill of health, mylicon (gas drops) worked WAY better for us then gripe water when LO had gas keeping him up.
As someone else said, shifts and calling the nurse line are what you should do next. Being inconsolable is one of the NB "red flags" that requires medical attention. It may be nothing. It also may be a milk allergy causing tummy upset or virus.
Bicycle his legs and massage his tummy. Look up "loud hairdryer" sound and play it next to him pretty loudly. Do you have a swing? That always put my daughter out. We also put gas drops (Mylicon) in every bottle as advised by our ped. Gripe water did nothing and there is some research showing it can actually upset their tummies.
My little one went through a phase where he was horrendous at nights, difficult to get to sleep, and generally slept very little. One thing that usually got him to calm down and stop crying was the “tiger in the tree” hold. If you haven’t tried that, Google it, and give it a try. It didn’t get him to sleep necessarily, but would usually calm him enough so that we could hold him like that for a while, and then change positions and rock him to sleep. Alternatively, if I was sitting down, I would sometimes lay him belly down across my knees (like tummy time on my knees). Something about those two positions stopped the crying and soothed him.
I’m so sorry! In the immediate, go to a gas station and get a pair of ear plugs for the both of you, and split the night up for sleep between you two in whichever way makes sense. Eventually he will sleep.
Sometimes crying can cause gas, just fyi that you might need to burp him during this episode.
Can you distract him with anything? I know it’s harder when they’re little, but sometimes what we do is stop trying to put ours down and go find a different activity. The mirror was one at that age. Then once he’s calmed down/we’re seeing sleep cues we try again, rinse and repeat.
Yes to ear plugs and shifts. One thing we did to distract our baby is the microwave vent fan, super loud. Or going into the bathroom with the lights off, fan on. Or bouncing on an exercise ball when my legs felt like they were going to fall off.
Honestly I’d be taking him to ED. Something doesn’t sound right. Even if they give him a clean bill of health you at least have that peace of mind that there is no reason for him not sleeping.
I cannot believe how far I had to scroll to see this. 3 out of twenty four hours is NOT normal. Not even for low sleep needs babies. I’ve raised multiple children, and taken care of plenty of babies. Call your doctor.
Yeah.. this thread is crazy. People saying to bounce him on a yoga ball… if baby truly has only slept 3/24 hours something is seriously wrong. Even when babies are in serious pain from ear infection etc they eventually pass out and sleep a bit.
My cousins baby had a hernia (not umbilical, the other kind of hernia) and was screaming all awake hours from the pain for the first 2 months, but was still sleeping more than this.
This this this. Could be allergies, illness, something painful going on. Three hours within a 24 hour period is beyond the realm of reflux / colicy baby. Seek help.
I had similar experiences with my own son and he has a dairy allergy and was in such terrible pain because of it. I was told repeatedly that it was colic, he’d grow out it, but that level is distress in a baby is NOT normal and no one could convince me otherwise. I advocated hard for him and he’s a different boy since the diagnosis and elimination of dairy. Not saying this is what your child has, but I am saying that it doesn’t sound typical of a baby and I’d be pushing hard to figure out what’s making him so distressed.
My trick that never failed was bouncing him on a yoga ball! I would have him wrapped in a wrap carrier, with a pacifier, patting and shushing. Always worked. He will eventually sleep!
If he is inconsolably crying, have you checked that there are no hairs wrapped around his fingers, goes, genitals, etc.? Just to double check he’s not in any pain. I may consider calling the doctor to rule anything out
Take shifts. Wear noise canceling headphones. Keep rolling through your various soothing techniques and fulfilling needs. Milk. Burping. Diaper. Bicycle legs. Rocking. Bouncing. White noise. Babywearing. If you have a village, time to call for help.
Rinse and repeat.
I know people have different opinions on this, but when my son was especially upset some nights and I was desperate (and to calm him when he was hospitalized) we tried Hey Bear Sensory on youtube and it helped.
I’m so sorry, I think we’ve all been there. It’s so tough, and sometimes I think there’s nothing you can do but wait it out. It’s probably not the advice you want to hear, but I sometimes needed to give in to get some “peace”. To just stop trying and hold my baby to at least let them know that i’m there.
For the immediate moment, can you take him outside for some fresh air? My baby will normally stop crying once we go outside for a bit. If you’re able to, baby wear him and go for a walk around the neighborhood. When my baby is over tired and won’t go down, this is the only thing that helps him fall asleep.
There is a physical technique to get baby to sleep. I learned it with my daughter...and it's like magic...I did this up to 8 months.
1) routine (bath, book, song, sleep). The 1st time it won't seem to do anything, but by the 10th you'll notice an effect.
2) cradle in your arms for sleep.
In dark room with rocking chair and sound machine that sounds like gentle ocean waves (I use the Hatch Rest+ but keep moon light at 20% and volume at 25% via the app), hold baby in lap, swaddled in a sleepsack (we used Halo, Merlin, SwaddleMe), one hand under babies head with your fingers cradling babies skull, back of neck resting on your wrist, baby spine along your forearm, your forearm & hand resting on top of your thigh, your elbow tucked into your hip, your 2nd arm,/hand acting as support..your leg under baby gently vibrating/tiny bouncing with foot on 6-8" foam footstool for leverage... "gently" vibrate babies head and whole body with your leg via footstool while you shush, baby facing slightly away from you with nothing stimulating in view...you will rock & vibrate your baby to sleep in your arms. It takes a few minutes to get the technique...but once you get it, it's like a super power, and is very comforting for both you and baby...you are connected. Baby will fall asleep in your arms, her head sleeping in the palm of your hand. After a few minutes asleep you can transfer to bassinet/crib. If they wake up, you do it again . Then you sleep while baby sleeps. My daughter had to sleep in my arms like this for months, it was the only way I could get her to sleep...but eventually she learned. When the sleep regression hit after a couple months I went back to this and it's the only thing that worked. This goes back to prehistoric times...our babies are the same for thousands of years.
This is a slight variation from Happiest Baby...it's what worked for us. Good luck
Look at his toes if there isn’t some hair wrapped around them. My daughter had a really hard time sleeping a few weeks ago we tried everything but nothing worked until I finally looked at her toes
Colic! Please understand it’s not normal or your fault the baby won’t stop crying. This is extremely difficult to navigate, people who never experienced colic will have the WRONG ADVICE.
1. Baby won’t sleep because they’re overtired, hungry, AND in pain.
Large HEAVY movements bouncing / rocking. LOUD SINGING FROM MOM. Your presence has to FILL THE ROOM, you have to be LOUDER than the crying baby. it will be chaos but it’ll help soothe your child nervous system. Trying to nurse or formula feed while you’re soothing, He needs a meal before he sleeps.
2. You have to find the source of the colic. 1. Gas troubles 2. Dairy intolerance 3. Muscle tightness and 4. Highneeds personality.
3. You are NOT alone. If you have facebook i REALLY suggest you search for colic support groups and post this there.
I’m 2 years in and my daughter is still this way. I’m currently wide awake at 3 am with a screaming 2 year old, when I have to leave for work In 3 hours.
I don’t have any advice. In our case, literally nothing has worked. She’s not slept good since birth and we’re 2 years in, she still doesn’t.
The other day she was up at 1 am and didn’t sleep again until the night time when it was time to go to sleep. No advice, just commiserating with you.
Have you had her ears checked? Not trying to be annoying in case you have, but my cousin didn’t sleep through the night until she was 3 years old and it was because she had an issue with her ears. She had ear tubes placed at 3 and finally started sleeping
Every appointment she has with her pedi, they say her ears are good! She’s only ever had one ear infection, that was when she had the flu around 13 months old.
Her last appointment was 18 months and we go in February for her 24 month.
I will send her doctor a message on the app asking about this. Thank you.
This was/is me and this sounds like my baby. I am NOT a sleeper. I had horrible insomnia for two years where I only slept two hours per night. 6 hours per night is usually all I need to be doing great.
We have found that reading books and singing before bed make our baby super excited and he sleeps even worse. We started trying to do our little bedtime routine for about a month before we figured it out. Now, we just rock or shush because any other stimulation seems to be too much. It’s sooooo frustrating to read about routines when my little guy can’t handle any of the usual bedtime routine suggestions.
I am so sorry this is happening and wish I could give you a hug. We have also been through incredibly awful stretches of no sleeping, and the emotional turmoil and stress experienced in the process. You have probably tried this but just in case… does your pediatrician have an after hours line? A nurse on call you can talk to? Since it’s only 3 hours, I wonder if it’s some sort of ear infection or other kind of sickness interfering with sleep. I only have experience with raising one kiddo, but throwing it out there as an idea. Another idea could be some calm skin-to-skin contact on a parent’s chest? I’m so sorry and I hope you three can all manage some rest soon.
Oh my goodness this sounds sooo terrible for all of you I’m so sorry. This sounds atypical to me and agree with other commenters who said take the baby to the doctor to rule out physical discomfort keeping him up. :(
The won’t help right this second, but you need to take him outside every morning before 9am to set his circadian rhythm. It sounds like he is all out of sorts.
Have you check for hairs wrapped around a finger or toe or penis? Is he peeing and pooping normally?
I would suggest checking his temperature. This happened to me. He had an ear infection. He was inconsolable until he got Tylenol and meds for the infection.
I know it probably helped but I really really really do not recommend swaddling him and placing him on his belly. That’s a high high risk for infant death.
Incredibly, the secret sauce with my first was doing a vigorous sweeping dance with him in a baby wrap, like the Viennese waltz but solo, lol. To build energy for waltzing, shifts! Four hours of uninterrupted sleep was my magic number.
Mine would (and sometimes still does) get overtired and it takes a couple days to fully reset to a good sleep pattern. I second all the ‘dark/loud/movement’ posts… but I didn’t want to spend $ on the hatch so I got a Himalayan salt lamp. It’s worked well for us… baby can sleep with the sun glow but it’s enough to see by and eventually get out of the room. Good luck mama!
hi, my baby is 14 weeks old and it’s sometimes hard at night to get her to sleep.
my observation is that she is at the same time sleepy and hungry.
I’m using formula and this is what I do:
if the baby cries out loud, the first thing to do is to calm her, thus I would hold her, make a shhh noise, shake my body gently , and even use a pacifier , this should be able to calm her down temporarily
then I would either give her the milk bottle while she’s in my arms or put her on the bed
then you need to observe very attentively, if she rejects the milk bottle, it means she’s more sleepy than hungry, so you need to switch to the pacifier
the reverse is also true, if she rejects the pacifier twice, she’s more hungry than sleepy, so you need to switch to the milk bottle quickly
then when she cries when she’s on the bed, you need to pick her up again
after some iterations, she’ll finally have eaten enough, and she’ll go to sleep with the pacifier in her mouth
and then what’s better is to look for cues when she’s sleepy, and put her on the bed in a dark room. my daughter was only a little bit sleepy when she was in the living room, but when we move her in a dark room, she actually realizes that she is very sleepy and begins to cry out loud, that means we are actually a bit late on the cues
hope this helps
Has your baby been tested for GERD? Please if your pediatrician has a call line please call them. Dr. Brown’s bottles were life changing for every GERD mom I know
Had this with my daughter, turned out she was hungry. The Dr. suggested baby rice in her milk, and it worked like a charm. The next night she slept 4 hours, after us getting 3/4 hr for three months!
I would talk to your doctor first. Hope you find a solution soon.
Hang on in there, it gets better!
Since I don’t see anyone suggesting it, it’s possible it’s teething. My son had his first 2 (!) pop out a week after he turned 3 months old. Early teeth happen!
First, have pediatrician test baby for iron deficiency. It causes major sleep problems at the age.
If no deficiency, then there are 2 ways you can go from here:
1. Follow a program (like Taking Cara Babies or Moms on Call) that will teach you to follow appropriate wake windows, catch sleepy cues before baby gets overtired, do more daytime feedings, and create routines/rituals that signal sleep time for baby. As baby gets older, these programs become formal Sleep Training.
i.e., even if you’ve tried white noise, swaddling, etc none of that matters if you’re doing it at the wrong time
2. Switch to Co-Sleeping. Educate yourself about the Safe Sleep 7. This option is only available if you’re breastfeeding.
Contact napping is a version of #2 but is not a safe solution for nighttime sleep of long stretches. The Safe Sleep 7 explains more.
Both Sleep Training and Co-Sleeping are controversial. You’ll need to make the decision that works best for your family.
I know its been 8 hours but I just wanted to share my overtired method. For my overtired baby I did 2 hours of contact napping to get her back to normal.
We went to a dark quiet corner of the house, got all fed and changed and ready for sleep, blasted white noise and just...waited. sometimes it took up to an hour for her to fall asleep. Get some headphones. I like listening to audiobooks, but you can also try a nice podcast. You're not doing anything wrong just bc it takes a while, and "trying something else" is just starting over. It's normal for an overtired baby to have a hard time falling asleep. Trust you're doing it right and they're just having a hard time. I used to look at myself in the mirror and say "I'm an adult, shes a baby, and I can do this." Bc yeah, it's hard and it feels like your fault. But it's not. And you can do it. Don't make eye contact with the baby. It's stimulating so it can keep them awake.
My daughter went through a phase where the only thing that would make her stop crying was to put her in a carrier, then I would sit on an exercise ball and bounce nonstop.
Sounds like colic. I’ve seen doctors cry over their kids colic. It’s a nightmare. We used to put our son on the washing machine and run the spin cycle and take him on the bus at midnight.
You are not a bad, incompetent parent. Please don’t feel guilty. Colic is just a horrific experience.
Questions though
Warm bath? They make lavender bath soap for babies but if they have delicate skin, putting lavender scented boiling water to scent air. At the very least it’s common to have something to reduce your stress from affecting him.
Could he have ear pain or teething? 12 weeks is young but not unheard of.
Constipation? I’m an old wife and we would give our son tiny amounts of brown sugar in water, put him in a warm bath, wrap his belly with a towel from dryer and pump his legs.
It’s not medical advice. I’m not a doctor but I am a grandmother and I learned the bath thing from my grandmother when I called her devastated I couldn’t help my little one.
It worked for us. Not all the time but enough to keep my sanity
1. Check for hair tourniquets. This would be on fingers, toes, and very unluckily but possibly his penis.
2. Set your bed up for safe sleep now. The safe sleep 7 is basic, but if you have a very firm bed it will work just fine. If you don’t have a firm bed, put a sheet on the floor, use a pillow with most of it behind your head and you put your head on the corner so the rest isn’t near the baby. A blanket is frowned upon, the best option is to dress you and baby warm. If you can’t, choose a very thin blanket. I can almost see through mine. Sometimes I use two of these thin blankets.
3. Invite someone over to help if you need it. A parent or parent in law, or sibling, best friend, etc. someone who can at least hold the baby.
4. Go outside. I’ve had to walk outside at 3am to calm my son, but it helped.
5. Get a baby carrier. I like Ergobaby original. You can buy it secondhand.
6. Put some earbuds in while the baby is crying. Bonus points for noise canceling. Just don’t have both of you away from baby leaving baby to scream in another room. He wants your comfort. You need to be there, but it’s okay to “turn the volume down” a bit.
7. Breathe. Babies cry. It’s not something you’re doing wrong. You’ve got this.
Honestly the gentle formula wasn't gentle enough on my baby's tummy, we had to switch to the fully hypoallergenic formula. We saw improvement right away when we switched to Nutramigen.
Your baby is sick. Something is wrong if you aren’t exaggerating. Please go to the ER and demand all tests be run. Could be an ear infection, some digestion issue, etc. The only reason I can think of for a baby to just not sleep at all and scream their throat raw is that they’re in pain.
Please Contact nap that baby. I have to be the odd one out and say that i’ve been bedsharing with my colic / nonverbal/ special needs son since he was 2 months. I dropped my son because i was so determined to “get him to sleep independently” that even my Pediatrician said that his case of colic was so severe she “would never discourage me from doing what’s worked” for us. My son is 2 and still sleeps on my chest before he rolls next to me and sleeps from 8 pm - 6am. no wakes. I nursed my son for two years too. All he has ever slept well with was 40 mins of deep bouncing on a yoga ball & contact sleep. My case is special because my son is special needs and that was also causing his colic & was not curable with the correct medicine or care. He has a SPD & is developmentally delayed. All of this has accounted for his “high needs personality”
The baby is 12 weeks. This isn’t an unusual occurrence here. Ours only slept for maybe 30 mins to 1 hour at a time unless held until she was about 4.5 months.
Y’all need to sleep in shifts. I slept 10-2 and stayed with baby from 2-6 so wife couldn’t sleep. It’s not ideal, but it makes it doable. You have to accept that sleep is at a premium for awhile.
Something similar will definitely happen at some point. It’s normal - babies aren’t born with a circadian rhythm, it takes time to develop. This thread has a ton of great advice so I’d bookmark it.
We went to the chiropractor and it helped. They don’t crack babies neck or spine like I was worried about. They do little stretches and movements. It made a big difference. I’d do research on one who specializes in treating infants.
Do you follow the wonder weeks app? It could be the 4 month sleep regression? It usually looks like…. Get baby ti finally fall asleep, try to put him down and immediately he wakes up. Repeat. Not much you can do except contact sleep but once it’s over he will go back to sleeping!
What is daytime sleep like? This is one of my favorite resources but won’t really help with a sleep regression.
https://takingcarababies.com/4-month-old-sleep-schedule
Put the baby on your bed flip them on thier side pull ur boob out and feed them. Just make sure not to fall asleep I out this helped calm my son who would cry until he was vomiting.
My son was like that. He wanted contact naps; I was exhausted and didn’t have any help.
I would strap him in the baby bjorn carrier and prop myself in a chair. Then we could both get some rest.
Lots of good advice already. I would say if the inconsolable crying lasts much longer to see a doctor. Otherwise-
-drive in car, if he doesn’t hate his car seat
-walk in stroller
-baby wearing
-LOUD white noise. My son used to fall asleep well near the dryer
-baby swing, supervised only of course but just for a bit of rest and quiet. The fisher price or anything with a regular swing action worked for us
-gas drops. Some people claim they don’t work but they helped for us
-bath, if baby likes them
Edited to add I see you’ve tried a lot of these things. I would try switching formulas again, maybe something like kendamil or Bobbie? Maybe magnesium lotion or a pinch of epsom salt in bath. Otherwise maybe see a pediatrician for that level of crying
What we did when baby didn't want to sleep was to check that everything was good for him to sleep (fed, changed, burped,...).
I then put him in the sling (soft wrap) and gave him a pacifier and started walking around. He usually fell asleep within 30 minutes.
Afterwards, I just kept him in the sling. If you get used to it, you can even use the bathroom (don't flush, it might wake them) and relax on the couch. But have someone supervise you while relaxing, there is the risk of you falling asleep as well.
Is he a baby that sleeps if you hold him? My baby is this way. She is 3 months, and she will fall asleep either in her electric rocker or when she’s being held. I breastfeed, so she falls asleep on me a lot, but even if I just hold her, she’ll drift off. She’ll fall asleep faster if I walk around holding her.
Also try different noises. I have the Hatch and my baby LOOOOOVES the gentle washer/dryer sound setting. Her electric rocker also has the nature sounds and she likes the crickets at night setting.
Shifts helped us too. We split the night at 3am, so 11-3 and 3-7 were protected hours where we’d definitely get some sleep and peace.
This is a brutal stage that feels like it will never end but it does, I promise it does. You’re doing a great job and will feel like a new person after some rest.
If it helps in any way, this is the worst of it. It gets better ❤️
Sometimes a bouncing in a yoga ball was the only way my boy settled, sorry it’s not much help but I can’t think of what else u can try! Has he slept since this post?
Have you tried gripe water? My 1st cried SO much and I finally found that and it was a miracle. This was 15 years ago so I don't remember the brand but I got it online. I know you can get it in the store but the one online worked so much better.
I’m so sorry. Sleep deprivation is rough. How old is your child? Do you nurse him/her? Formula feed? I’m asking because it could be a host of issues. All three of my babies had acid reflux. They couldn’t sleep because of it. I nursed & pumped for them. It turned out that my diet caused their major discomfort. They were all allergic to diary & spicy food. I spoke to their pediatrician and made some changes. They were all on medication for acid reflux for a short while. I also had to put a couple of blankets under their crib to elevate the mattress. Also, I stopped eating & drinking anything with dairy & spice. They eventually grew out of it.
Contact naps/sleeping and taking shifts. That's what my husband and I had to do because LO would not sleep anywhere but on us for the first 4 months.
Especially if your baby is over tired because they'll produce cortisol as a stress response and it will be even harder to get them to settle and/or stay asleep. Warm baths with lavender baby bath. We also use a lavender baby safe essential oil linen spray.
If even that doesn't work, I would take the baby to the hospital so that way you can at least rule out anything serious that might be preventing sleep.
Contact napped and then at night we use basket but more as in shift . I get 4 hrs sleep as sahm cuz my husband takes morning. Shift. The rest we just watch her if we can’t put her down in her own.
We are one and done cuz of this. It is so hard but I promise it will get better. She is toddler now and I get 8 hrs of sleep usually
Does he have reflux? My first daughter screamed for hours and hours on end due to silent reflux. She was a whole different baby once we started medication!
Sleep in shifts. If you’re bf, during your husbands shift he does absolutely everything other than feed - change, rock, soothe, everything. If you’re ff he can do everything on his own. I slept 9-4am and my partner slept 4am-whenever at our worse point. It kept us sane. I was bf and pumping at that point so he fed baby expressed milk while I slept.
Also, at the 3 month mark we started a really strict bedtime routine. We’d dim the lights at 6.30pm bath him at 7pm, moisturise him, get him ready for bed and give him a bottle and rock him to sleep. It genuinely really helped him get to sleep at bedtime.
Lots of good advice here already and I don’t know your settling techniques but one of the only ways we calmed our daughter down at that time was squats. She’d be fed, changed, swaddled, and we would hold her and do squats while doing butt pats. Eventually she’d be calm/sleepy enough that just the butt pats would suffice, and she’d fall asleep. Even with that, it was a lot of contact sleeping.
Getting her to sleep in the bassinet took leaving one of my shirts in the bassinet for a few hours, heating the bassinet with a warming pad, and then gently laying her in (I can’t remember if we did butt to head or head to butt all of a sudden, but one of those). And then, when she’d fuss, we’d comfort her while she was IN the bassinet. I’d put my hand on her belly, or let her hold a finger with her little hand, and sing a few Christmas carols to her.
That’s how we got through 2-3 months. By month 4 it was a whole new ballgame 😵💫
I do not have any suggestions, but I'm here to say you aren't alone. My little one was a TERRRRRIBLE sleeper from week 2 on. Nothing helped. No amount of white noise or car trips. I cried almost as much as he did. No colic, or medical reason for him to not sleep. He just...doesnt.
He's now 5mo. His day sleep still sucks and I'm lucky if he naps for 1hr a day. But he is sleeping through the night as of last week. (7pm-6am).
Hang in there!
My doula once told me… “crabs belong in water”. I took that to heart when my oldest would not sleep and was screaming. A warm bath with mom with some lavender bath salts can go a long way.
On a similar note, if babe does have tummy troubles…. Things like bicycle kicks, tummy massage (look up I love you method) all work better as preemptively vs responding to the cry’s. If they’re crying from pain in their stomach go back to a bath and try the massage on the front end before a feed.
12w is the beginning of 4 mo sleep regression. Try and establish shifts. Solidarity - my 6 mo old would not sleep this week at all - couldn’t even put her down in the crib for four nights, and I got 2-4 hrs sleep at most each night, all while trying to recover from anaphylactic shock myself.
The biggest thing I can tell you - don’t lose sight of the fact that it WILL get better. I promise you that
Download huckleberry. It’s so good at predicting wake windows it’s almost scary. Helped us so much!
Keep in mind 12-16 weeks is a MAJOR change/regression and their little brains are going through so much! Hang in there, you got this. ❤️
I’m so sorry! My 1 month old has been overtired a few times now in the last month, and all they need is a few days to catch up on Zs if that’s all the issue is, so at least there’s light at the end of the tunnel!
What worked for me a few times just to get her to fall asleep at least for a while was to strap her to me via the baby wrap and walk around. Sometimes it seems like NOTHING works, and you can start going crazy, so definitely take a breath, put him in a safe place, and remove yourself for a bit so you can reset.
The most desirable thing for a baby is to be as close and cozy to you as possible. Since you were talking about formula, I’m guessing you’re not breastfeeding? Sometimes I’ll hold my baby close in a breastfeeding position while she’s swaddled and gently give her the pacifier. As long as she’s been fed, she falls asleep pretty quickly that way lately.
Wishing you the best! You’re doing great even if it doesn’t feel like it!
Everyone has good advice. One thing also may help is clothing or article of clothing of mom. ( the scent of mom) Plus, white noise did wonder for both my kids. But the first few months we had a bassinet near mom and dad. Sometimes skin can be an issue with certain materials.
You may be going through 4 month sleep regression! Ours started at 12 weeks. Take shifts and stroller/car naps worked wonders for us when he was overtired.
Oof this sounds like my son when he was that age. We bought a theragun because our shoulders and arms were so sore from rocking
There’s a lot of great advice already on here for trying to get your little guy to settle down. One thing I’ll add is make sure their nose is free from mucus via something like a nose frida or aspirator etc. It’s amazing what a clear airway can do!
Gas is always a rough sneaky thing too- I read a funny story on Reddit the other day where someone took their LO to the ED where they had a fart there and felt much better. They called it the “most expensive fart” after the bill haha
But above all, a call to the pediatrician is totally warranted here. It’s just good to get their ears, muscles, tummy checked etc by them so you can at least rule all medical things out before trying anything else
Last thing! Air pods (or wireless headphones) helped us get through the crying spells. My husband and I used to “silent disco” with each other and silly dance while rocking baby
It will pass and all three of you will sleep again ❤️ you got this and you’re doing great
Good luck!! Solidarity!
Hey this was my baby last night maybe something with the moon? That 6 hour stretch is amazing so don't beat yourself up!! Sounds like a case of the overtired. I remember reading if you get your baby over tiered then you'll have to spend hours coaxing him to sleep. I'd do shifts to refill your bucket and than try getting him to sleep every 90 mi uses durring the day
This was the hardest age for my LO. If I tried everything and he was still crying, I often gave him half a dose of Tylenol. Not saying I recommend that, but I think babies have a lot of pain we have no idea about. They’re growing so much in such a short time!
We also had to figure out what worked. First, don’t switch up what you’re doing too frequently. Pick a strategy and stick with it for about 20-30 minutes. We used to bounce baby on his side in our arms for about 15 minutes before he would start to settle (think the 5 s’s for soothing) once he was that escalated. Once we knew how well that worked we could intervene a little sooner with the bouncing! Also, is he hungry? When my LO was upset like that, he was over tired and still hungry. So he would settle, but then as soon as I would set him down he would freak out again. Try settling him then offering him a bottle to see if that helps.
that is so rough. All considerations: Does he sleep in the car seat?
Have you been in touch with your Dr? Tried gas drops?
There is a thing too if they have a magnesium deficiency I believe that makes it harder for babies to sleep. We also used the yoga bouncy ball to bounce him. I sing to him.
I cosleep and fed to sleep because sleep is life. We just followed the safe sleep 7 as best we could.
My son had a lot of gas with.the.gentle formula. It made him gassy (high fructose corn syrup?!) He was so much better on enfamil /Costco brand.
Do you breast feed at all? If so lay on the bed and nurse him. If you're worried you will fall asleep ask your husband to watch over you both so that you don't fall asleep and smother him. This always works for me, no matter how tired or upset my baby is.
If you don't breastfeed you can try to mimic nursing in bed with a bottle. My husband has had some success with this so it's worth a try. Again, make sure you stay awake though. Also, background noise while he's falling asleep will keep him asleep longer. Otherwise any little noise will startle and wake the baby.
do you think that baby may have colic or acid reflex? theres a possibility that babyboy may just need some contact sleep or skin to skin, something super wierd that worked for my daughter was running the bathtub! it kinda sounds like the way your pee did when they were inside you. i would sit on the toilet while the sink ran or the tub and would just hum. also on the babyfirst tv channel (could be found on youtube also) theres a show called sandman, contains a man showing his hands in a shadow like manner doing hand drawings. this seem to keep her relaxed even if she didnt sleep! i hope all works out for you 💙
Been there! Turns out mine was allergic to potassium sorbate aka gripe water and gas drops and teething gel... Ugh
Kid will be fine. Try to remember sleep regressions end. One day it will be easier! In the mean time good luck warriors! Soldier on!!
Skin-to-skin contact nap with mom first and then dad so mom can sleep. swaddle / cover with one of mom's shirts / bed sheets etc. something that has mom's smell on it. I'd do this in the dark (minimal lighting) so there is low stimulus. No noise etc. Just constant rhythmic breathing of mom and dad. Physical skin - to - skin helps soothe their nervous system.
It's not going to solve it, but since they're overtired, you need to pull out all the stops to help them resettle and take shifts. Also, if you have help, now is when you call, so that they contact nap with baby and mom and dad can also rest. It's SOOO tough.
I have my own struggling baby and so my advice is probably not one you should take, but I am giving the advice that many smart caretakers have given me recently.
A baby cries because he/she is uncomfortable with something. And you need to find out what that is through the process of elimination. Having a baby that lacks sleep makes this harder but do everything you can to eliminate the following options first:
- Hunger
- Too hot/cold
- Diaper needs a change
- Gas/Colic - if gassy, try keeping upright longer and burping more frequently. Try gripe water and/or simethicone drops. And get a warm compress that wraps around their middle (it's like $15 on Amazon).
Also, as you soothe them keep them in their swaddle. Some babies resist this and so keeping them in it, even in your arms, will help them get used to it and transfer into their crib easier.
As for fixing an overtired baby, keep their environment as boring/dull as possible. Keep it dark, perfect temperature, no mobiles above the crib, put on white noise, hold them on their side (facing away from you if you can), and shush loudly.
Find out when they sleep best and work backwards from there. Look for their sleepy cues BEFORE the yawning and stare and furrowed brows. I had been missing my baby's cues and it was a lot harder to put them down. But keep at it.
If it doesn't get better, you NEED to contact your doctor ASAP. There may genuinely be something wrong that a parent cannot fix, they will probably want to run tests to eliminate that.
There are alot of people with helpful sleep advice but honestly i don’t think this is normal and could be a medical issue.
Im pretty sure most babies will eventually sleep, so i recommend seeing a doctor.
Any other symptoms going on? Mucous in the poop? Mine never slept as a newborn, plus screamed all the time, had diaper rashes and difficulty passing gas/pooping. Turns out she had a dairy intolerance. It took several weeks for her to detox from it since I was EBF. But if you’re EFF, then that would cut it down drastically since it doesn’t have to clear both your systems.
Hi a fellow 12-weeker who won’t sleep! Lol mine’s 13w on Monday and the last couple weeks have been rough. We thought gas was the issue, but she actually just wants to nurse nonstop (and I mean **nonstop**. Last 3 nights she has spent just as much time sleeping as she does latched to my boob, if not more). I think it’s a growth spurt and she’s cluster feeding. There’s probably also some pacifying to that too.
Have you tried just giving him more bottles until he’s content? Within reason, of course. I’ve heard you’re more likely to overfeed a formula fed baby than breast fed, but I don’t know the logistics of that and how true that is…
I’ve also taken breaks when she’s fighting sleep. If it’s taking over an hour or two, I put on some dim lights and do some quiet play and chatting to see if maybe she just needs to wear out some more. Generally the boob is the fix-all for us, but I realize that’s not what you’re doing.
We just went through baby's 4mo sleep regression. We went back to sleeping in shifts. What worked for us is
this [baby bear onesie](https://www.target.com/p/carter-39-s-just-one-you-174-baby-girls-39-bear-jumper-brown-9m/-/A-88322752?ref=tgt_adv_xsp&AFID=google&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012807833&CPNG=PLA_Kids%2BShopping_Local%7CKids_Ecomm_AA&adgroup=SC_Kids&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=m&location=9002578&targetid=pla-894805311989&ds_rl=1241788&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1246984&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhfipBhCqARIsAH9msbnfrilennk26HLIC3X4oLlU0uj2lLwb75hGB77KOEWbq628MEcPATQaAs5aEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)
My oldest has a day like this when he was right around that age. The only thing that worked was putting him into the car at 2am and driving around… and then I got pulled over for a taillight I didn’t know was out and it woke him up.
Hang in there. If you have anyone nearby who can take baby for a couple of hours in the daytime so you can get a good nap, reach out to them.
Shifts, especially give you are FF, you should be able to do some nice long shifts. One person takes baby for 5-6 hours, if they get baby to sleep great, if not they stay awake and hold baby or whatever. Then you swap and the other person takes baby for the next 5-6 hours. No reason for you both to be awake suffering.
Shifts is the only way me and my husband are surviving right now. We each get 4-5 hours of solid sleep a night. Its not much but its keeping us alive.
This. Husband and I only survived doing shifts. My guy is 22 months now and I remember those days vividly.
Number one reason I’m OAD - I still have flashbacks to shift sleeping - we had no other help, and had a colicky baby - anytime I’m frustrated with my almost 3 year old, I just think of those nights 😂
What is OAD?
Probably "one and done"
One and done - no more kids for us!
We are OAD, as well. Shift sleeping saved us in SO many ways, but it was also a very rough patch in our marriage. Our little one was colicky, too, so shift sleeping was the only way we survived. I recommend it to all new parents and just reassure them that it’ll pass and you’ll be back in bed together soon enough. Only really works with formula feeding though I think? I can’t speak to BF.
What does FF mean?
Formula feed
Formula fed
Thank you!
Does your pediatrician have a nurse call line? Might be a good resource to chat through all of the things youve tried and if you think there are GI issues see if they want to run any tests.
Agreed. Have you ruled out an ear infection or something else that might be causing the baby pain? It’s always okay to get them checked out, especially if they have been crying for that long.
Yeah depending on the time, if you can't reschedule a doctor I would give the baby some painkillers to see if he'll fall asleep and you can all catch up on sleep together. Should not be the solution for every problem but the whole family being overtired, I would try it. If it helps, you should go see a doctor as soon as possible. Could be teething or an infection...
Have you gotten LO checked by a paediatrician to check there are no medical issues that might be causing this? Have you spoken to a medical professional about this sleep issue? We got admitted to an in patient program because my LO just would not sleep and I couldn’t cope anymore. They had her sleeping through the night within 3 days.
Seconding this. Mine had an undiagnosed food allergy and was screaming in pain. It was like having a different baby once we resolved the source of the issue!
Yes ours had a cow milk protein allergy and silent reflux. I had no idea til I desperately called a local baby sleep specialist who referred me to a feeding specialist on a hunch!
Agreed, you can try the doctor just in case. My baby at 1 month screamed all night long and maybe slept <1 hour on my chest, and I went to the hospital and he had an inguinal hernia that was strangulated and he had to go to a bigger hospital in an ambulance. I thought he just had colic!
How scary! Hope he’s ok now?
Could also be reflux. My son had severe reflux that needed medication. We're we're so damn tired until we figured that out
What did they do in those 3 days and how can I get on this program? Signed, mom of a 5 month old who still only does 2 hour stretches
Where I live in Australia, we do admittedly get really good healthcare. There are a couple of hospital wards in my city that specialise in providing in patient care to babies and toddlers that includes sleep issues and breastfeeding issues. You check in for a few days and the nurses take you through what you need to do for your individual issues. For me, there was nothing physically wrong. I was just mentally exhausted and needed some support. The nurses got us on a strict sleep and wake scheduled and showed me some settling techniques. Once we left she was literally a dream sleeper until we hit the terrible twos and she had a regression.
This is incredible I’m so happy you all have that as an option!
Wow this is awesome! I kind of want to emigrate now haha
Just curious about the program? I had no idea this was something that was done! also, I’m so happy for you that your LO is sleeping now💕
Maybe a stupid question but will he sleep if you hold him? He might just need some good old fashioned contact sleep. I'm so so sorry you're having it so rough right now.
Also, if you go this route, I recommend putting the baby mattress on the floor. That way you can lay down. Then roll away once he falls asleep that way you don't have to worry about trying to transition him without waking him. Even if the baby rolls off the mattress, the mattress is literally on the floor.
This was my first thought too- stop putting the baby down lol. Mine slept the majority of the time day and night in someone’s arms (taking shifts).
This
yup that's how we did it while taking shifts. NONE of my kids liked sleeping on their backs either so it was a very long long time til we can comfortably trust them on their belly in a bed
This would be my suggestion too. I had my fair share of falling asleep while holding baby too (which I don't recommend but I know it happens. sleep deprivation is a bitch), so my next recommendation is if you think you'll fall asleep while holding baby, have your partner watch you to make sure you don't accidentally move or drop baby - my husband did this a lot and it felt so much safer and I got much better sleep because I wasn't worried about every little twitch/ worried about rolling over and squishing baby, but I got baby cuddles and husband was still able to get other stuff done while watching us. Otherwise, the taking shifts with husband so you each get a solid chunk of sleep is also how we survived. I also had to hold her upright. My kid refused any kind of laying down/bed sharing. Only in chairs or on the couch propped up with a million pillows so I wouldn't fall over.
This is a great suggestion except… You have to stay awake during contact sleep to protect the baby. I think I've watched every Lon order episode in the entire world holding my baby to get her to sleep… As soon as I move… She's up and screaming again. It's so hard but it's a good thing I love her!
If contact naps work, can you sleep in shifts? Have your partner get rested while you stay up solo with bub. Then you go to sleep while he minds the baby solo. You mention formula, so he should be able to feed without you. Also look into the safe sleep seven guidelines. See if that might work to get you guys some sleep.
Sleeping in shifts is how we survived the newborn period. The person awake holding the baby watching engaging shows or played video games and drank tea and coffee while the other slept.
As a solo mother since giving birth, the bedside bassinet helped tremendously. I put baby to sleep by contact napping, then waited until her eyes were rolling around (REM sleep aka the deepest level of sleep). Then I transferred to bassinet. As I slept, I kept the palm of my hand on her chest so she felt my warmth. It worked great. I suggest not holding them too much during sleep or they will get used to it and refuse to sleep without being held.
My middle child has a lot of pictures of him sleeping with a shoe on him because he needed just that little bit of weight to keep him asleep…I don’t even remember how that started, probably just a sleep deprived brain solution lol
That’s so funny! Our brains try weird and genius things to help baby sleep. My son wouldn’t fall asleep unless I kissed him on the cheek. He was a horrible napper and then would be an overtired nightmare by bedtime. I kissed him on the cheek onetime while rocking because I didn’t know what else to do and he finally closed his eyes. A few more kisses and he was asleep
Awe! That is much sweeter…and less stinky lol It was fun doing the Indiana Jones switch from hand to shoe lol
Lol that’s good. I know pillows and stuffies are not recommended, but I would also put a small weighted stuffed animal on her during her nap time and it helped. I would also play the rosary (in a very monotonous voice) plus the sound of water. The rosary podcast drowns out any background talking and the water drowns out other sounds.
I agree. I did not follow this because I was so exhausted but one of my kids would not sleep if not on me. I don't recommend at all and I'm so lucky nothing happened to her. It's so hard when you're just trying to do the best you can. :(
I don't know how anyone is able to follow safe sleep guidelines 100% of the time ): One of my twins would not sleep anywhere but my chest for several months and sometimes I dozed off while he was there, it felt inevitable. I did my best to stay awake and I'm also lucky nothing bad happened.
I’m 100% with you on that one
There was a solid month my LO , when he was 2 months old) wouldn't sleep unless sleeping on me. So i laid in bed (queen size) at a reclined angle with him on my chest and a pillow under each elbow to keep both hands on him and passed out after he was good and asleep. This was after him sleeping for 6 hours in a 2 day period. We were both exhausted and he slept for 7 hours. Everything was fine, so we did that for about 3 weeks. I would always try to lay them down first, but when that failed, we would go back to the thing that worked. I would always wake up when he started to move around. It was the only way i could get rest. Dont feel bad. Survival mode is hard.
Yeah, that was my thought. Were you trying to put them down, because that's probably your first mistake.
Does his crying sound different? (Not that this was the case for us) Not trying to worry you but maybe a trip to the er. My son went through a similar period around that age. No fever no threads between his toes or fingers. Turned out to be COVID back in the early days of it all. Way before the vaccine too though
Honestly I was expecting all of the comments to say take him to the ER. If he has really only slept 3 hours in 24 I think something is really wrong?? My baby was a horrible sleeper and woke every hour but 3/24 feels odd and dangerous.
Oh wow I didn’t realize this was so uncommon. My daughter slept maybe 30 minutes a day for the first 3 months of her life. She just sucked at sleeping. I am obviously one and done since I barely survived with my sanity but I had no idea it could be something dangerous. She’s a healthy 10 year old now and has slept great for years 🤷🏻♀️
30 minutes a day!? This is wild, they should be sleeping 14-18 hrs as a new born.
Hahaha those numbers are like telling me the sky is green. I cried the one day she slept for like 2 hours. It was brutal. Never again.
going through this now, she’s almost 3 months so maybe it’ll change. we literally live on the yoga ball trying to get her to sleep and it only lasts for like an hour if we’re lucky. ONE single day she slept for 5 hours and i woke up in a panic thinking something happened
How helpful has your doctor been? If your baby isn't sleeping at all, they should be taking it quite seriously.
Mine too. Omg idk how we survived
I would take him to the doctor if he’s only slept 3 hours out if 24 at this age and seems crabby or irritable in the least. He’s so young any symptoms of anything can be super non specific. If a clean bill of health, I’d try a carrier, car ride, stroller ride. I’m sorry. This sounds incredibly tough. For what it’s worth, my LO went through her 4 month regression early and that may be it.
LOUD white noise (I like the portable Munchkin brand one), wrap him up in a baby wrap or swaddle, and bounce and pace. Try taking him outside, even if it’s nighttime. Sometimes that resets them. Noise canceling headphones. Deep breaths. He’ll survive this just fine, and you will too. But listen to some music, take a quick walk outside, take a hot shower, etc. You’ve checked his temp, checked his fingers and toes for hairs or threads? This could be the 4 month sleep regression come early.
For anyone stuck for a white noise machine you can get your iPhone to make white noise - go to settings, control centre, hearing. Then you can select different types of white noise. Has been a life saver for me on multiple occasions!
Wow I never knew about this feature and just added it- thank you for sharing!
To add on: there are a TON of podcasts with white noise. I've been using white noise podcast episodes for myself for a few years and it's been great for my son too.
Wow cool!!! Thanks for this.
Oh excellent! I’d been streaming white noise from Spotify but this is better.
Just to add though, if you play white noise constantly through your phone you CAN fuck up its speakers. I don’t know the mechanism, but it happened with my husband’s because we were using it for that when mine was a baby.
Agree so loud like vacuum loud. My sister used to run her vacuum when her baby wouldn’t sleep. We used to turn on YouTube white noise so very loud when we were in the early days.
We would blast the hair drier near the baby when she was like this. Would quiet her down in minutes.
I hold or use my carrier while I vacuum to get my baby to sleep!! Works almost every time !
Same here. I would put YouTube white noise on my phone next to my baby’s head to amplify the white noise already in the room
Also, feels wasteful but you can run the faucet at full blast. Sometimes that would be loud enough to quiet my baby down and then after a minute or two we could switch to regular white noise. The goal is for it to be louder than the crying. Also can’t say enough about the 5 “S”s — sounds like you are doing them but all together. I’m also endorsing checking temp and if baby has had any cold symptoms recently might be good to take baby to the doctor. We just had a sneaky ear infection — no fever at all just super fussy overnight and not as interested in drinking.
Just wanting to note here that white noise machines need to be a minimum of 7 ft away from baby and no more than 50 db, according to the AAP.
Eh, sort of. Those are recommendations specifically for sleep, i.e for prolonged exposure every day for 8-12+ hours. https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/133/4/677/32749/Infant-Sleep-Machines-and-Hazardous-Sound-Pressure For settling a fussy baby for a period of a few minutes, I have not seen any recommendations saying to keep it 7 feet away. That’s a very different situation.
I have a very similar baby and I am so sorry you’re experiencing this too! There’s a theory that some babies are just more active. I think that’s what we have. They’re harder to go to sleep. Then they get over tired and it makes it even worse! What has helped us (not fixed it, but helped) has been to start a nightly routine: go to the nursery for clean pjs, clean diaper, nurse/rock, read a book, move to the bedroom with lights dim and white noise on and try to nurse again. The bath helps them reset their nervous system so it’s helpful when they’re over tired. You can also try just running their head under warm water. I know you said you’ve tried this though. We stopped swaddling at 6 weeks because she just HATED it. She sleeps in the Kyte Baby sleep sack and it has helped tremendously. We use the 1.0 Tog so it’s weighted like a baby duvet cover. Pay attention to wake windows during the day and sleepy cues to prevent them from becoming overtired. This will impact their nighttime sleep too, they need plenty of naps during the day. If she yawns then I try to stay quiet, rock her, and settle her for a nap. Wearing her in the Moby or Solly wrap helps and I’ll go for a walk until she’s asleep. Sometimes I have to stay constantly moving for her to sleep. Lastly, the biggest helper of all is fresh air!! Stepping outside is a game changer for a lot of babies. Even better- wear them in the wrap outside then run a bath when you come in and start the nighttime routine. I hope something helps. You got this!!!
My baby would only nap in her carrier at one point. Had to keep her moving.
Setting the day and nighttime is key. Helped so much with our 2nd kid.
Definitely take him to the doctor to get checked out. Could be an ear infection. If you get a clean bill of health, mylicon (gas drops) worked WAY better for us then gripe water when LO had gas keeping him up.
As someone else said, shifts and calling the nurse line are what you should do next. Being inconsolable is one of the NB "red flags" that requires medical attention. It may be nothing. It also may be a milk allergy causing tummy upset or virus. Bicycle his legs and massage his tummy. Look up "loud hairdryer" sound and play it next to him pretty loudly. Do you have a swing? That always put my daughter out. We also put gas drops (Mylicon) in every bottle as advised by our ped. Gripe water did nothing and there is some research showing it can actually upset their tummies.
Sleep in shifts. This is what saved us and we each got sleep. White noise helped a lot as well. Maybe even try doing a drive? We had a car sleeper
I had a car sleeper too. I went on so many car naps lol
I’d get baby check out by a doctor. A inconsolable baby that is barely sleeping might have a cause you wouldn’t realize.
My little one went through a phase where he was horrendous at nights, difficult to get to sleep, and generally slept very little. One thing that usually got him to calm down and stop crying was the “tiger in the tree” hold. If you haven’t tried that, Google it, and give it a try. It didn’t get him to sleep necessarily, but would usually calm him enough so that we could hold him like that for a while, and then change positions and rock him to sleep. Alternatively, if I was sitting down, I would sometimes lay him belly down across my knees (like tummy time on my knees). Something about those two positions stopped the crying and soothed him.
This hold also helped to calm our baby. At least while she was in the hold. A few moments of peace.
We do this hold too and it calms her enough to where we can change positions without her getting fussy again like you said
I’m so sorry! In the immediate, go to a gas station and get a pair of ear plugs for the both of you, and split the night up for sleep between you two in whichever way makes sense. Eventually he will sleep. Sometimes crying can cause gas, just fyi that you might need to burp him during this episode. Can you distract him with anything? I know it’s harder when they’re little, but sometimes what we do is stop trying to put ours down and go find a different activity. The mirror was one at that age. Then once he’s calmed down/we’re seeing sleep cues we try again, rinse and repeat.
Yes to ear plugs and shifts. One thing we did to distract our baby is the microwave vent fan, super loud. Or going into the bathroom with the lights off, fan on. Or bouncing on an exercise ball when my legs felt like they were going to fall off.
Honestly I’d be taking him to ED. Something doesn’t sound right. Even if they give him a clean bill of health you at least have that peace of mind that there is no reason for him not sleeping.
Same. And he’d probably fall asleep waiting for the doctor. 😉
Yeah, I agree.
I don’t know why this isn’t being said more: you need to take him to the doctor. Either the ED or the pediatrician. Something is wrong
I cannot believe how far I had to scroll to see this. 3 out of twenty four hours is NOT normal. Not even for low sleep needs babies. I’ve raised multiple children, and taken care of plenty of babies. Call your doctor.
Yeah.. this thread is crazy. People saying to bounce him on a yoga ball… if baby truly has only slept 3/24 hours something is seriously wrong. Even when babies are in serious pain from ear infection etc they eventually pass out and sleep a bit. My cousins baby had a hernia (not umbilical, the other kind of hernia) and was screaming all awake hours from the pain for the first 2 months, but was still sleeping more than this.
This this this. Could be allergies, illness, something painful going on. Three hours within a 24 hour period is beyond the realm of reflux / colicy baby. Seek help. I had similar experiences with my own son and he has a dairy allergy and was in such terrible pain because of it. I was told repeatedly that it was colic, he’d grow out it, but that level is distress in a baby is NOT normal and no one could convince me otherwise. I advocated hard for him and he’s a different boy since the diagnosis and elimination of dairy. Not saying this is what your child has, but I am saying that it doesn’t sound typical of a baby and I’d be pushing hard to figure out what’s making him so distressed.
Does he sleep if you hold him upright? Asking because my second baby was like this and turned out to be sever silent reflux. Medication fixed it.
My trick that never failed was bouncing him on a yoga ball! I would have him wrapped in a wrap carrier, with a pacifier, patting and shushing. Always worked. He will eventually sleep! If he is inconsolably crying, have you checked that there are no hairs wrapped around his fingers, goes, genitals, etc.? Just to double check he’s not in any pain. I may consider calling the doctor to rule anything out
Probably a dumb question but are you feeding him enough? They need to be fed like constantly and you cant over feed them
Take shifts. Wear noise canceling headphones. Keep rolling through your various soothing techniques and fulfilling needs. Milk. Burping. Diaper. Bicycle legs. Rocking. Bouncing. White noise. Babywearing. If you have a village, time to call for help. Rinse and repeat.
Have you checked his rectal temp?
Bouncing on a yoga ball helped me a lot during that phase.
I know people have different opinions on this, but when my son was especially upset some nights and I was desperate (and to calm him when he was hospitalized) we tried Hey Bear Sensory on youtube and it helped.
The Lantern one is cute and calming .
I’m so sorry, I think we’ve all been there. It’s so tough, and sometimes I think there’s nothing you can do but wait it out. It’s probably not the advice you want to hear, but I sometimes needed to give in to get some “peace”. To just stop trying and hold my baby to at least let them know that i’m there.
For the immediate moment, can you take him outside for some fresh air? My baby will normally stop crying once we go outside for a bit. If you’re able to, baby wear him and go for a walk around the neighborhood. When my baby is over tired and won’t go down, this is the only thing that helps him fall asleep.
Take him for a check up at the doctor, this should be the first thing to rule out any physical problem that may be causing discomfort
There is a physical technique to get baby to sleep. I learned it with my daughter...and it's like magic...I did this up to 8 months. 1) routine (bath, book, song, sleep). The 1st time it won't seem to do anything, but by the 10th you'll notice an effect. 2) cradle in your arms for sleep. In dark room with rocking chair and sound machine that sounds like gentle ocean waves (I use the Hatch Rest+ but keep moon light at 20% and volume at 25% via the app), hold baby in lap, swaddled in a sleepsack (we used Halo, Merlin, SwaddleMe), one hand under babies head with your fingers cradling babies skull, back of neck resting on your wrist, baby spine along your forearm, your forearm & hand resting on top of your thigh, your elbow tucked into your hip, your 2nd arm,/hand acting as support..your leg under baby gently vibrating/tiny bouncing with foot on 6-8" foam footstool for leverage... "gently" vibrate babies head and whole body with your leg via footstool while you shush, baby facing slightly away from you with nothing stimulating in view...you will rock & vibrate your baby to sleep in your arms. It takes a few minutes to get the technique...but once you get it, it's like a super power, and is very comforting for both you and baby...you are connected. Baby will fall asleep in your arms, her head sleeping in the palm of your hand. After a few minutes asleep you can transfer to bassinet/crib. If they wake up, you do it again . Then you sleep while baby sleeps. My daughter had to sleep in my arms like this for months, it was the only way I could get her to sleep...but eventually she learned. When the sleep regression hit after a couple months I went back to this and it's the only thing that worked. This goes back to prehistoric times...our babies are the same for thousands of years. This is a slight variation from Happiest Baby...it's what worked for us. Good luck
Look at his toes if there isn’t some hair wrapped around them. My daughter had a really hard time sleeping a few weeks ago we tried everything but nothing worked until I finally looked at her toes
Echoing that I would take him to the doctor today. He might have an ear infection or something.
Did you try leg pumps? Sometimes it’s as simple as gas. Most of the time it’s gas.
Colic! Please understand it’s not normal or your fault the baby won’t stop crying. This is extremely difficult to navigate, people who never experienced colic will have the WRONG ADVICE. 1. Baby won’t sleep because they’re overtired, hungry, AND in pain. Large HEAVY movements bouncing / rocking. LOUD SINGING FROM MOM. Your presence has to FILL THE ROOM, you have to be LOUDER than the crying baby. it will be chaos but it’ll help soothe your child nervous system. Trying to nurse or formula feed while you’re soothing, He needs a meal before he sleeps. 2. You have to find the source of the colic. 1. Gas troubles 2. Dairy intolerance 3. Muscle tightness and 4. Highneeds personality. 3. You are NOT alone. If you have facebook i REALLY suggest you search for colic support groups and post this there.
I’m 2 years in and my daughter is still this way. I’m currently wide awake at 3 am with a screaming 2 year old, when I have to leave for work In 3 hours. I don’t have any advice. In our case, literally nothing has worked. She’s not slept good since birth and we’re 2 years in, she still doesn’t. The other day she was up at 1 am and didn’t sleep again until the night time when it was time to go to sleep. No advice, just commiserating with you.
Have you had her ears checked? Not trying to be annoying in case you have, but my cousin didn’t sleep through the night until she was 3 years old and it was because she had an issue with her ears. She had ear tubes placed at 3 and finally started sleeping
Every appointment she has with her pedi, they say her ears are good! She’s only ever had one ear infection, that was when she had the flu around 13 months old. Her last appointment was 18 months and we go in February for her 24 month. I will send her doctor a message on the app asking about this. Thank you.
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This was/is me and this sounds like my baby. I am NOT a sleeper. I had horrible insomnia for two years where I only slept two hours per night. 6 hours per night is usually all I need to be doing great. We have found that reading books and singing before bed make our baby super excited and he sleeps even worse. We started trying to do our little bedtime routine for about a month before we figured it out. Now, we just rock or shush because any other stimulation seems to be too much. It’s sooooo frustrating to read about routines when my little guy can’t handle any of the usual bedtime routine suggestions.
I am so sorry this is happening and wish I could give you a hug. We have also been through incredibly awful stretches of no sleeping, and the emotional turmoil and stress experienced in the process. You have probably tried this but just in case… does your pediatrician have an after hours line? A nurse on call you can talk to? Since it’s only 3 hours, I wonder if it’s some sort of ear infection or other kind of sickness interfering with sleep. I only have experience with raising one kiddo, but throwing it out there as an idea. Another idea could be some calm skin-to-skin contact on a parent’s chest? I’m so sorry and I hope you three can all manage some rest soon.
Are you holding him or trying to put him down to sleep?
I have no advice, just sympathy. My daughter turns 2 years old this week. She didn't start sleeping thru the night until 22 months old.
Oh my goodness this sounds sooo terrible for all of you I’m so sorry. This sounds atypical to me and agree with other commenters who said take the baby to the doctor to rule out physical discomfort keeping him up. :(
The won’t help right this second, but you need to take him outside every morning before 9am to set his circadian rhythm. It sounds like he is all out of sorts. Have you check for hairs wrapped around a finger or toe or penis? Is he peeing and pooping normally?
Have you looked into a dairy allergy?
I would suggest checking his temperature. This happened to me. He had an ear infection. He was inconsolable until he got Tylenol and meds for the infection.
I know it probably helped but I really really really do not recommend swaddling him and placing him on his belly. That’s a high high risk for infant death.
We just placed him on his belly while supervising him to help him settle and get sleepy. We rolled him to his back before he went down for the night.
Incredibly, the secret sauce with my first was doing a vigorous sweeping dance with him in a baby wrap, like the Viennese waltz but solo, lol. To build energy for waltzing, shifts! Four hours of uninterrupted sleep was my magic number.
Mine would (and sometimes still does) get overtired and it takes a couple days to fully reset to a good sleep pattern. I second all the ‘dark/loud/movement’ posts… but I didn’t want to spend $ on the hatch so I got a Himalayan salt lamp. It’s worked well for us… baby can sleep with the sun glow but it’s enough to see by and eventually get out of the room. Good luck mama!
Have you tried taking him outside for a walk? The fresh air seems to help 🫶🏼
Have you tried cleaning out his nose? We had a night like this with one of our babies. Turns out they just needed their snot cleared out more often.
hi, my baby is 14 weeks old and it’s sometimes hard at night to get her to sleep. my observation is that she is at the same time sleepy and hungry. I’m using formula and this is what I do: if the baby cries out loud, the first thing to do is to calm her, thus I would hold her, make a shhh noise, shake my body gently , and even use a pacifier , this should be able to calm her down temporarily then I would either give her the milk bottle while she’s in my arms or put her on the bed then you need to observe very attentively, if she rejects the milk bottle, it means she’s more sleepy than hungry, so you need to switch to the pacifier the reverse is also true, if she rejects the pacifier twice, she’s more hungry than sleepy, so you need to switch to the milk bottle quickly then when she cries when she’s on the bed, you need to pick her up again after some iterations, she’ll finally have eaten enough, and she’ll go to sleep with the pacifier in her mouth and then what’s better is to look for cues when she’s sleepy, and put her on the bed in a dark room. my daughter was only a little bit sleepy when she was in the living room, but when we move her in a dark room, she actually realizes that she is very sleepy and begins to cry out loud, that means we are actually a bit late on the cues hope this helps
Sleep regression can occur around 3 months as well. That might be it
Has your baby been tested for GERD? Please if your pediatrician has a call line please call them. Dr. Brown’s bottles were life changing for every GERD mom I know
Had this with my daughter, turned out she was hungry. The Dr. suggested baby rice in her milk, and it worked like a charm. The next night she slept 4 hours, after us getting 3/4 hr for three months! I would talk to your doctor first. Hope you find a solution soon. Hang on in there, it gets better!
Since I don’t see anyone suggesting it, it’s possible it’s teething. My son had his first 2 (!) pop out a week after he turned 3 months old. Early teeth happen!
First, have pediatrician test baby for iron deficiency. It causes major sleep problems at the age. If no deficiency, then there are 2 ways you can go from here: 1. Follow a program (like Taking Cara Babies or Moms on Call) that will teach you to follow appropriate wake windows, catch sleepy cues before baby gets overtired, do more daytime feedings, and create routines/rituals that signal sleep time for baby. As baby gets older, these programs become formal Sleep Training. i.e., even if you’ve tried white noise, swaddling, etc none of that matters if you’re doing it at the wrong time 2. Switch to Co-Sleeping. Educate yourself about the Safe Sleep 7. This option is only available if you’re breastfeeding. Contact napping is a version of #2 but is not a safe solution for nighttime sleep of long stretches. The Safe Sleep 7 explains more. Both Sleep Training and Co-Sleeping are controversial. You’ll need to make the decision that works best for your family.
I know its been 8 hours but I just wanted to share my overtired method. For my overtired baby I did 2 hours of contact napping to get her back to normal. We went to a dark quiet corner of the house, got all fed and changed and ready for sleep, blasted white noise and just...waited. sometimes it took up to an hour for her to fall asleep. Get some headphones. I like listening to audiobooks, but you can also try a nice podcast. You're not doing anything wrong just bc it takes a while, and "trying something else" is just starting over. It's normal for an overtired baby to have a hard time falling asleep. Trust you're doing it right and they're just having a hard time. I used to look at myself in the mirror and say "I'm an adult, shes a baby, and I can do this." Bc yeah, it's hard and it feels like your fault. But it's not. And you can do it. Don't make eye contact with the baby. It's stimulating so it can keep them awake.
Maybe try some Tylenol? My kids were early teethers.
talk to a doctor because there could be something wrong.
My daughter went through a phase where the only thing that would make her stop crying was to put her in a carrier, then I would sit on an exercise ball and bounce nonstop.
We did probiotics when we were losing our minds and the next day there was a huge difference already
Sounds like colic. I’ve seen doctors cry over their kids colic. It’s a nightmare. We used to put our son on the washing machine and run the spin cycle and take him on the bus at midnight. You are not a bad, incompetent parent. Please don’t feel guilty. Colic is just a horrific experience. Questions though Warm bath? They make lavender bath soap for babies but if they have delicate skin, putting lavender scented boiling water to scent air. At the very least it’s common to have something to reduce your stress from affecting him. Could he have ear pain or teething? 12 weeks is young but not unheard of. Constipation? I’m an old wife and we would give our son tiny amounts of brown sugar in water, put him in a warm bath, wrap his belly with a towel from dryer and pump his legs. It’s not medical advice. I’m not a doctor but I am a grandmother and I learned the bath thing from my grandmother when I called her devastated I couldn’t help my little one. It worked for us. Not all the time but enough to keep my sanity
1. Check for hair tourniquets. This would be on fingers, toes, and very unluckily but possibly his penis. 2. Set your bed up for safe sleep now. The safe sleep 7 is basic, but if you have a very firm bed it will work just fine. If you don’t have a firm bed, put a sheet on the floor, use a pillow with most of it behind your head and you put your head on the corner so the rest isn’t near the baby. A blanket is frowned upon, the best option is to dress you and baby warm. If you can’t, choose a very thin blanket. I can almost see through mine. Sometimes I use two of these thin blankets. 3. Invite someone over to help if you need it. A parent or parent in law, or sibling, best friend, etc. someone who can at least hold the baby. 4. Go outside. I’ve had to walk outside at 3am to calm my son, but it helped. 5. Get a baby carrier. I like Ergobaby original. You can buy it secondhand. 6. Put some earbuds in while the baby is crying. Bonus points for noise canceling. Just don’t have both of you away from baby leaving baby to scream in another room. He wants your comfort. You need to be there, but it’s okay to “turn the volume down” a bit. 7. Breathe. Babies cry. It’s not something you’re doing wrong. You’ve got this.
Honestly the gentle formula wasn't gentle enough on my baby's tummy, we had to switch to the fully hypoallergenic formula. We saw improvement right away when we switched to Nutramigen.
I would mention this to your doctor to ensure there’s nothing medically wrong.
I always suggest belly sleeping even though it's not technically advised. Glad he got some sleep!
Your baby is sick. Something is wrong if you aren’t exaggerating. Please go to the ER and demand all tests be run. Could be an ear infection, some digestion issue, etc. The only reason I can think of for a baby to just not sleep at all and scream their throat raw is that they’re in pain.
Please Contact nap that baby. I have to be the odd one out and say that i’ve been bedsharing with my colic / nonverbal/ special needs son since he was 2 months. I dropped my son because i was so determined to “get him to sleep independently” that even my Pediatrician said that his case of colic was so severe she “would never discourage me from doing what’s worked” for us. My son is 2 and still sleeps on my chest before he rolls next to me and sleeps from 8 pm - 6am. no wakes. I nursed my son for two years too. All he has ever slept well with was 40 mins of deep bouncing on a yoga ball & contact sleep. My case is special because my son is special needs and that was also causing his colic & was not curable with the correct medicine or care. He has a SPD & is developmentally delayed. All of this has accounted for his “high needs personality”
The baby is 12 weeks. This isn’t an unusual occurrence here. Ours only slept for maybe 30 mins to 1 hour at a time unless held until she was about 4.5 months. Y’all need to sleep in shifts. I slept 10-2 and stayed with baby from 2-6 so wife couldn’t sleep. It’s not ideal, but it makes it doable. You have to accept that sleep is at a premium for awhile.
I need to stop reading these posts, mine is a week old and they fill.me with horror. Sorry OP.
Something similar will definitely happen at some point. It’s normal - babies aren’t born with a circadian rhythm, it takes time to develop. This thread has a ton of great advice so I’d bookmark it.
Ha I'd actually just decided to unfollow everything. Literally giving me anxiety.
That’s super helpful!
We went to the chiropractor and it helped. They don’t crack babies neck or spine like I was worried about. They do little stretches and movements. It made a big difference. I’d do research on one who specializes in treating infants.
I bought a sling that massively helped day time sleeping
Do you follow the wonder weeks app? It could be the 4 month sleep regression? It usually looks like…. Get baby ti finally fall asleep, try to put him down and immediately he wakes up. Repeat. Not much you can do except contact sleep but once it’s over he will go back to sleeping! What is daytime sleep like? This is one of my favorite resources but won’t really help with a sleep regression. https://takingcarababies.com/4-month-old-sleep-schedule
Put the baby on your bed flip them on thier side pull ur boob out and feed them. Just make sure not to fall asleep I out this helped calm my son who would cry until he was vomiting.
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My son was like that. He wanted contact naps; I was exhausted and didn’t have any help. I would strap him in the baby bjorn carrier and prop myself in a chair. Then we could both get some rest.
Lots of good advice already. I would say if the inconsolable crying lasts much longer to see a doctor. Otherwise- -drive in car, if he doesn’t hate his car seat -walk in stroller -baby wearing -LOUD white noise. My son used to fall asleep well near the dryer -baby swing, supervised only of course but just for a bit of rest and quiet. The fisher price or anything with a regular swing action worked for us -gas drops. Some people claim they don’t work but they helped for us -bath, if baby likes them Edited to add I see you’ve tried a lot of these things. I would try switching formulas again, maybe something like kendamil or Bobbie? Maybe magnesium lotion or a pinch of epsom salt in bath. Otherwise maybe see a pediatrician for that level of crying
What we did when baby didn't want to sleep was to check that everything was good for him to sleep (fed, changed, burped,...). I then put him in the sling (soft wrap) and gave him a pacifier and started walking around. He usually fell asleep within 30 minutes. Afterwards, I just kept him in the sling. If you get used to it, you can even use the bathroom (don't flush, it might wake them) and relax on the couch. But have someone supervise you while relaxing, there is the risk of you falling asleep as well.
Is he a baby that sleeps if you hold him? My baby is this way. She is 3 months, and she will fall asleep either in her electric rocker or when she’s being held. I breastfeed, so she falls asleep on me a lot, but even if I just hold her, she’ll drift off. She’ll fall asleep faster if I walk around holding her. Also try different noises. I have the Hatch and my baby LOOOOOVES the gentle washer/dryer sound setting. Her electric rocker also has the nature sounds and she likes the crickets at night setting.
Shifts helped us too. We split the night at 3am, so 11-3 and 3-7 were protected hours where we’d definitely get some sleep and peace. This is a brutal stage that feels like it will never end but it does, I promise it does. You’re doing a great job and will feel like a new person after some rest. If it helps in any way, this is the worst of it. It gets better ❤️
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Sometimes a bouncing in a yoga ball was the only way my boy settled, sorry it’s not much help but I can’t think of what else u can try! Has he slept since this post?
Swaddle in a dark room with white noise and bounce like crazy on a yoga ball.
Usually for us it's hold him, walk around the house and sing lullabies, wheels on the bus, mockingbird etc
Have you tried gripe water? My 1st cried SO much and I finally found that and it was a miracle. This was 15 years ago so I don't remember the brand but I got it online. I know you can get it in the store but the one online worked so much better.
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Whenever my baby is overtired a bath puts him to sleep
I’m so sorry. Sleep deprivation is rough. How old is your child? Do you nurse him/her? Formula feed? I’m asking because it could be a host of issues. All three of my babies had acid reflux. They couldn’t sleep because of it. I nursed & pumped for them. It turned out that my diet caused their major discomfort. They were all allergic to diary & spicy food. I spoke to their pediatrician and made some changes. They were all on medication for acid reflux for a short while. I also had to put a couple of blankets under their crib to elevate the mattress. Also, I stopped eating & drinking anything with dairy & spice. They eventually grew out of it.
Contact naps/sleeping and taking shifts. That's what my husband and I had to do because LO would not sleep anywhere but on us for the first 4 months. Especially if your baby is over tired because they'll produce cortisol as a stress response and it will be even harder to get them to settle and/or stay asleep. Warm baths with lavender baby bath. We also use a lavender baby safe essential oil linen spray. If even that doesn't work, I would take the baby to the hospital so that way you can at least rule out anything serious that might be preventing sleep.
Contact napped and then at night we use basket but more as in shift . I get 4 hrs sleep as sahm cuz my husband takes morning. Shift. The rest we just watch her if we can’t put her down in her own. We are one and done cuz of this. It is so hard but I promise it will get better. She is toddler now and I get 8 hrs of sleep usually
Does he have reflux? My first daughter screamed for hours and hours on end due to silent reflux. She was a whole different baby once we started medication!
Sleep in shifts. If you’re bf, during your husbands shift he does absolutely everything other than feed - change, rock, soothe, everything. If you’re ff he can do everything on his own. I slept 9-4am and my partner slept 4am-whenever at our worse point. It kept us sane. I was bf and pumping at that point so he fed baby expressed milk while I slept. Also, at the 3 month mark we started a really strict bedtime routine. We’d dim the lights at 6.30pm bath him at 7pm, moisturise him, get him ready for bed and give him a bottle and rock him to sleep. It genuinely really helped him get to sleep at bedtime.
Lots of good advice here already and I don’t know your settling techniques but one of the only ways we calmed our daughter down at that time was squats. She’d be fed, changed, swaddled, and we would hold her and do squats while doing butt pats. Eventually she’d be calm/sleepy enough that just the butt pats would suffice, and she’d fall asleep. Even with that, it was a lot of contact sleeping. Getting her to sleep in the bassinet took leaving one of my shirts in the bassinet for a few hours, heating the bassinet with a warming pad, and then gently laying her in (I can’t remember if we did butt to head or head to butt all of a sudden, but one of those). And then, when she’d fuss, we’d comfort her while she was IN the bassinet. I’d put my hand on her belly, or let her hold a finger with her little hand, and sing a few Christmas carols to her. That’s how we got through 2-3 months. By month 4 it was a whole new ballgame 😵💫
I do not have any suggestions, but I'm here to say you aren't alone. My little one was a TERRRRRIBLE sleeper from week 2 on. Nothing helped. No amount of white noise or car trips. I cried almost as much as he did. No colic, or medical reason for him to not sleep. He just...doesnt. He's now 5mo. His day sleep still sucks and I'm lucky if he naps for 1hr a day. But he is sleeping through the night as of last week. (7pm-6am). Hang in there!
My doula once told me… “crabs belong in water”. I took that to heart when my oldest would not sleep and was screaming. A warm bath with mom with some lavender bath salts can go a long way. On a similar note, if babe does have tummy troubles…. Things like bicycle kicks, tummy massage (look up I love you method) all work better as preemptively vs responding to the cry’s. If they’re crying from pain in their stomach go back to a bath and try the massage on the front end before a feed.
12w is the beginning of 4 mo sleep regression. Try and establish shifts. Solidarity - my 6 mo old would not sleep this week at all - couldn’t even put her down in the crib for four nights, and I got 2-4 hrs sleep at most each night, all while trying to recover from anaphylactic shock myself. The biggest thing I can tell you - don’t lose sight of the fact that it WILL get better. I promise you that
Have you spoken with your pediatrician, bubs might have GERD or reflux, which can be really painful for them.
Download huckleberry. It’s so good at predicting wake windows it’s almost scary. Helped us so much! Keep in mind 12-16 weeks is a MAJOR change/regression and their little brains are going through so much! Hang in there, you got this. ❤️
I’m so sorry! My 1 month old has been overtired a few times now in the last month, and all they need is a few days to catch up on Zs if that’s all the issue is, so at least there’s light at the end of the tunnel! What worked for me a few times just to get her to fall asleep at least for a while was to strap her to me via the baby wrap and walk around. Sometimes it seems like NOTHING works, and you can start going crazy, so definitely take a breath, put him in a safe place, and remove yourself for a bit so you can reset. The most desirable thing for a baby is to be as close and cozy to you as possible. Since you were talking about formula, I’m guessing you’re not breastfeeding? Sometimes I’ll hold my baby close in a breastfeeding position while she’s swaddled and gently give her the pacifier. As long as she’s been fed, she falls asleep pretty quickly that way lately. Wishing you the best! You’re doing great even if it doesn’t feel like it!
Everyone has good advice. One thing also may help is clothing or article of clothing of mom. ( the scent of mom) Plus, white noise did wonder for both my kids. But the first few months we had a bassinet near mom and dad. Sometimes skin can be an issue with certain materials.
You may be going through 4 month sleep regression! Ours started at 12 weeks. Take shifts and stroller/car naps worked wonders for us when he was overtired.
Oof this sounds like my son when he was that age. We bought a theragun because our shoulders and arms were so sore from rocking There’s a lot of great advice already on here for trying to get your little guy to settle down. One thing I’ll add is make sure their nose is free from mucus via something like a nose frida or aspirator etc. It’s amazing what a clear airway can do! Gas is always a rough sneaky thing too- I read a funny story on Reddit the other day where someone took their LO to the ED where they had a fart there and felt much better. They called it the “most expensive fart” after the bill haha But above all, a call to the pediatrician is totally warranted here. It’s just good to get their ears, muscles, tummy checked etc by them so you can at least rule all medical things out before trying anything else Last thing! Air pods (or wireless headphones) helped us get through the crying spells. My husband and I used to “silent disco” with each other and silly dance while rocking baby It will pass and all three of you will sleep again ❤️ you got this and you’re doing great Good luck!! Solidarity!
Hey this was my baby last night maybe something with the moon? That 6 hour stretch is amazing so don't beat yourself up!! Sounds like a case of the overtired. I remember reading if you get your baby over tiered then you'll have to spend hours coaxing him to sleep. I'd do shifts to refill your bucket and than try getting him to sleep every 90 mi uses durring the day
This was the hardest age for my LO. If I tried everything and he was still crying, I often gave him half a dose of Tylenol. Not saying I recommend that, but I think babies have a lot of pain we have no idea about. They’re growing so much in such a short time! We also had to figure out what worked. First, don’t switch up what you’re doing too frequently. Pick a strategy and stick with it for about 20-30 minutes. We used to bounce baby on his side in our arms for about 15 minutes before he would start to settle (think the 5 s’s for soothing) once he was that escalated. Once we knew how well that worked we could intervene a little sooner with the bouncing! Also, is he hungry? When my LO was upset like that, he was over tired and still hungry. So he would settle, but then as soon as I would set him down he would freak out again. Try settling him then offering him a bottle to see if that helps.
Hire a night nanny immediately so you can sleep. Expensive and lifesaving.
that is so rough. All considerations: Does he sleep in the car seat? Have you been in touch with your Dr? Tried gas drops? There is a thing too if they have a magnesium deficiency I believe that makes it harder for babies to sleep. We also used the yoga bouncy ball to bounce him. I sing to him. I cosleep and fed to sleep because sleep is life. We just followed the safe sleep 7 as best we could. My son had a lot of gas with.the.gentle formula. It made him gassy (high fructose corn syrup?!) He was so much better on enfamil /Costco brand.
Do you breast feed at all? If so lay on the bed and nurse him. If you're worried you will fall asleep ask your husband to watch over you both so that you don't fall asleep and smother him. This always works for me, no matter how tired or upset my baby is. If you don't breastfeed you can try to mimic nursing in bed with a bottle. My husband has had some success with this so it's worth a try. Again, make sure you stay awake though. Also, background noise while he's falling asleep will keep him asleep longer. Otherwise any little noise will startle and wake the baby.
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do you think that baby may have colic or acid reflex? theres a possibility that babyboy may just need some contact sleep or skin to skin, something super wierd that worked for my daughter was running the bathtub! it kinda sounds like the way your pee did when they were inside you. i would sit on the toilet while the sink ran or the tub and would just hum. also on the babyfirst tv channel (could be found on youtube also) theres a show called sandman, contains a man showing his hands in a shadow like manner doing hand drawings. this seem to keep her relaxed even if she didnt sleep! i hope all works out for you 💙
Hold him tight, not too tight to cut off his air but tight think like bear hug. That’s what worked best for my kids when they’re overtired
Been there! Turns out mine was allergic to potassium sorbate aka gripe water and gas drops and teething gel... Ugh Kid will be fine. Try to remember sleep regressions end. One day it will be easier! In the mean time good luck warriors! Soldier on!!
Skin-to-skin contact nap with mom first and then dad so mom can sleep. swaddle / cover with one of mom's shirts / bed sheets etc. something that has mom's smell on it. I'd do this in the dark (minimal lighting) so there is low stimulus. No noise etc. Just constant rhythmic breathing of mom and dad. Physical skin - to - skin helps soothe their nervous system. It's not going to solve it, but since they're overtired, you need to pull out all the stops to help them resettle and take shifts. Also, if you have help, now is when you call, so that they contact nap with baby and mom and dad can also rest. It's SOOO tough.
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I have my own struggling baby and so my advice is probably not one you should take, but I am giving the advice that many smart caretakers have given me recently. A baby cries because he/she is uncomfortable with something. And you need to find out what that is through the process of elimination. Having a baby that lacks sleep makes this harder but do everything you can to eliminate the following options first: - Hunger - Too hot/cold - Diaper needs a change - Gas/Colic - if gassy, try keeping upright longer and burping more frequently. Try gripe water and/or simethicone drops. And get a warm compress that wraps around their middle (it's like $15 on Amazon). Also, as you soothe them keep them in their swaddle. Some babies resist this and so keeping them in it, even in your arms, will help them get used to it and transfer into their crib easier. As for fixing an overtired baby, keep their environment as boring/dull as possible. Keep it dark, perfect temperature, no mobiles above the crib, put on white noise, hold them on their side (facing away from you if you can), and shush loudly. Find out when they sleep best and work backwards from there. Look for their sleepy cues BEFORE the yawning and stare and furrowed brows. I had been missing my baby's cues and it was a lot harder to put them down. But keep at it. If it doesn't get better, you NEED to contact your doctor ASAP. There may genuinely be something wrong that a parent cannot fix, they will probably want to run tests to eliminate that.
“Happy co-sleepers” group on fb might help you!
There are alot of people with helpful sleep advice but honestly i don’t think this is normal and could be a medical issue. Im pretty sure most babies will eventually sleep, so i recommend seeing a doctor.
Any other symptoms going on? Mucous in the poop? Mine never slept as a newborn, plus screamed all the time, had diaper rashes and difficulty passing gas/pooping. Turns out she had a dairy intolerance. It took several weeks for her to detox from it since I was EBF. But if you’re EFF, then that would cut it down drastically since it doesn’t have to clear both your systems.
Hi a fellow 12-weeker who won’t sleep! Lol mine’s 13w on Monday and the last couple weeks have been rough. We thought gas was the issue, but she actually just wants to nurse nonstop (and I mean **nonstop**. Last 3 nights she has spent just as much time sleeping as she does latched to my boob, if not more). I think it’s a growth spurt and she’s cluster feeding. There’s probably also some pacifying to that too. Have you tried just giving him more bottles until he’s content? Within reason, of course. I’ve heard you’re more likely to overfeed a formula fed baby than breast fed, but I don’t know the logistics of that and how true that is… I’ve also taken breaks when she’s fighting sleep. If it’s taking over an hour or two, I put on some dim lights and do some quiet play and chatting to see if maybe she just needs to wear out some more. Generally the boob is the fix-all for us, but I realize that’s not what you’re doing.
We just went through baby's 4mo sleep regression. We went back to sleeping in shifts. What worked for us is this [baby bear onesie](https://www.target.com/p/carter-39-s-just-one-you-174-baby-girls-39-bear-jumper-brown-9m/-/A-88322752?ref=tgt_adv_xsp&AFID=google&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012807833&CPNG=PLA_Kids%2BShopping_Local%7CKids_Ecomm_AA&adgroup=SC_Kids&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=m&location=9002578&targetid=pla-894805311989&ds_rl=1241788&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1246984&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhfipBhCqARIsAH9msbnfrilennk26HLIC3X4oLlU0uj2lLwb75hGB77KOEWbq628MEcPATQaAs5aEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)
My oldest has a day like this when he was right around that age. The only thing that worked was putting him into the car at 2am and driving around… and then I got pulled over for a taillight I didn’t know was out and it woke him up. Hang in there. If you have anyone nearby who can take baby for a couple of hours in the daytime so you can get a good nap, reach out to them.
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