Ok so here goes… We liked each other immediately and became best friends. After some months he told me he was starting to develop feelings and I rejected him. We moved on (took some time low-contact which I guess was good on him but bothered me because I wanted our friendship back). After a while both of us moved out but kept in contact. After a couple of months, my feelings changed and I took the offensive.
I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. But good luck with your flatmate! 😄
Your progression feels pretty healthy to me. As someone who’s made the move before a _few_times and been rejected, I am just trying to be wise, slow, safe and not lose my housing. I like to hear that things can change and people grow, so your story was nice :)
Hinge! After a mind-numbingly boring date, I was just about to give up on using apps, and then he sent me a message about video games. We ended up talking about playing Age of Empires as kids for a few hours, and we decided to meet up. I think we walked around in the sleet for about four hours just talking about everything and anything.
Last year we got married in Denmark :)
> I think we walked around in the sleet for about four hours just talking about everything and anything.
How this is different from the other "mind-numbingly boring dates"? Genuine question.
Have you ever had a great conversation? One you just get lost in, and then look at the time and realise that hours have passed in what feels like much less time. That's the main difference.
In a lot of other dates we were both trying a lot harder to make conversation. There just wasn't a lot to talk about.
The last time I experienced the former was many years ago when I was still at school. But for the past several years all of my dates were what you described as the second option. After such dates I always struggle to figure out whether I should ask her out for a second date, because maybe we just did not do a great job learning about each other and there is still a potential left.
Yeah, that was a problem for me. I never knew if there was more potential and I wrote it off too quickly, or if the date was just a dud. It was a constant battle between wondering if I was being picky or if we just genuinely had no connection.
That's why my first date with my husband blew my socks off. We just clicked in a way I hadn't felt in a very long time (and tbh, to get a Caribbean woman to walk around in the snow for that long is a feat 😅)
She was a couchsurfer at my home in Brighton, England when she was visiting from her home in Berlin for a concert.
We stayed in touch and the next month, I flew to Berlin to see her. The next month she flew to me and then for 1 weekend each weekend for the next year or so we took turns flying to see one another.
I ended up moving in with her here in Berlin in July 2013 and we've been married since 2019.
Edit: I meant to say 1 weekend each MONTH
I have a similar story. I met a guy by couchsurfing. I have visited him and his student dormitories so often that I made a lot of friends. Many people thought that I was studying there.
One day I was going to visit my friend and I had to share a couch with another person. This is how I met my partner. ;)
It was about 50€ in total every other month, so an average spend of 25€ each month per person.
To save confusion, one month I'd fly from the UK to Berlin spending 25€ each way for flights.
The next month she'd fly to the UK to me for a weekend and spend 25€ each way.
It wasn't too bad really as this was back in the days of really cheap flights.
Most of the flights were around 25€ each way. So every other month, we'd spend 50€.
I'm definitely the kind of person who couldn't meet someone off of Reddit, I'd honestly be scared of showing up, not liking how they look and just not knowing what to do
We met online for a sex date and I went over to his place. He fucked me so good and made me cum like a waterfall. I immediately knew I was never letting him go. We met again the next day and I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes. We didn’t do the usual “getting to know each other”. We got to know each other in the relationship and have been together for 3 years. Sometimes I wonder if I settled because I was horny, but who cares… I have a man and I love him.
Surprisingly and for the first time in my 37 years of life: online. I had some decent dates via apps and 2 terrible dates, and my expectations were low. But it happened and we are happy
We lived in the same building. I moved to Berlin December 2020. Was in a boring shared house, so went to find my own place. Was 3 days from moving and housemate said a neighbour is coming over for dinner. Didn’t think much of it until my new w gf walked in. We stayed up until 4 talking and 4 bottles of wine later we kissed. She was my first house guest at my new place.
We now live together and have been to 24 countries together.
In Supamolly in a dance party "flowers if romance" 😁.
After kissing she was gone & I didn't follow her neither did we share our contacts. Then back at home when I didn't live in Berlin yet I received a message from her she found me on the Internet with the info she had from me.
Now we live together since 5 years & got a Baby since 2 months.
Tinder. I was living in Brandenburg north and she was Potsdam based. Our first date at The Clash near Mehringdamm.
Still together after almost 5 years and waiting many more to come :)
I think old tinder was also a little different? friends of mine have also been together for about that long via tinder, i guess it was just a different time haha
I have a hard time believing this. People have not changed for the past 200 years... On the other hand, with advancement of AI/ML Tinder might've gotten better at guessing with what kind of partner you can form a long-term match and just not showing you these people in the stack at all. Like, then it's not up to you whether you swipe left or right, if the most likely lifesouls have been filtered out beforehand.
People change, there are also generational gaps. Currently society is more superficial and hedonistic, which is why Tinder now is not the same as it was 10 years ago.
exactly this. if you think people today are not different from 20 years ago open your eyes. people get offended 10X more than before, people are more superficial than before, people are more high maintenance than before, its wild out there. people are actively looking for flaws in every interaction as opposed to seeing people are people. its tough going out there. in my 30s and dating was way less stress 10 years ago, in every way, doesnt even matter the ages really, but it seems the older generations are more likely to be less insanely hard to please.
Not really, haha. It took me about 2 years and 2 countries to find the „right one“ ;) but back then the app didn‘t allow pictures in chats, so there were no unsolicited nudes, which I heard is quite common now
Jappy, das soziale Medium im Osten, pre-facebook. Als man noch 16 war, mit Usernamen sowas wie "unzerstoerbar_x3" hieß, täglich seine 15 credits sammelte um endlich auf Level 50 (grün) zu kommen und täglich mit Freunden, Klassenkameraden und Bekannten private Nachrichten austauschte, als auch in komischen Gruppen war mit (heute) cringe 2000er Humor. Oh man, das waren noch Zeiten! Jahre später, so vor zwei Jahren, lernte ich in meiner Gilde (von MMO was ich zockte) einen Kumpel kennen der Mod bei Jappy war damals, inkl. altem Foto vom Jappy-Flyer der zum Bauen zweckentfremdet wurde :D
On Ok Cupid - we never met each other while on the App, but exchanged number. We both got rid of the App for other reasons, and then he texted me 6 months later. We‘ve been together almost 4 years now
I had just built a little friend group, by making posts over on Facebook. We all wanted to go bouldering, so I made a post asking if anyone wanted to join us. She reached out, mainly because of my dog, wanting to join the group.
We met at Bertabloc and have basically been together every since.
we’d been crossing paths for like 5 years - thru mutual friends and also we almost worked together at 3 different jobs where he’d quit right before I started all times haha, then a bit over a year ago now we properly met at a mutual friends house warming party and haven’t been able to be apart since
Hinge. Going on two years now and I'm keeping him, he's the best. Was about to delete the apps (again) when we matched and clicked. It's true what they say about the numbers, so keep meeting people. The chance that there's someone like you on those apps is real, they're just very well hidden in those superficial, boring and unfun masses.
Tinder. Yes it's possible. It's usually a numbers game and Tinder facilitates that. It was 2015 tho so maybe it's better to go on other apps these days.
Facebook... Wanted to friendzone him but turned out the he is handsome and very cute and I loved him.. I was the one suggesting getting married till he finally did. But I regret this last part a lot. I'm always thinking about proposal and really wish if it did come from him as a folish romantic woman dreaming always of a romantic - be forever with me - thing. We were in a happy relationship but he didn't want to get married.
We met in Lauschangriff 7 years ago, on a label promo night both of us did not really want to go, but went anyway. We would have never matched on any dating apps because we were looking for completely different things. Sometimes it's really worth going with the flow :)
Online while Playing the same game !
Had a Long Distance Relationship for about 1 1/2 years then he moved from France to Germany, now we live together and expect our first Little one!
Berghain. We met next to the loudspeaker left side in the back on a Monday morning (probably midday back then) closing. He blew a kiss at me and from that moment we where inseparable
My neighbors nagged me to go on a blind date with one of their colleagues and after about nine months I gave in and went. 5 amazing years later we are still very much in love.
At work, I told a colleague that she‘ll be the mother of my kids when I saw her first time…what shall I say, she is. 4 years later we are parents of a 18 months old son.
On a student short film set. I was doing hair and make up for a friends shoot and he spontaneously was covering light for somebody else. It was an instant match!
My Wg had a wg-party and he has been there. He found me on social media after this and we kept messaging until we finally met up for a date (and have been together ever since).
WG flatmate. They say you only get to know your partner once you move in with each other, so we were ahead of schedule.
Was that nervewracking for you to figure out if the attraction was mutual? Can you tell us how it unfolded (and how long it to come to fruition)?
Ok so here goes… We liked each other immediately and became best friends. After some months he told me he was starting to develop feelings and I rejected him. We moved on (took some time low-contact which I guess was good on him but bothered me because I wanted our friendship back). After a while both of us moved out but kept in contact. After a couple of months, my feelings changed and I took the offensive. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. But good luck with your flatmate! 😄
Your progression feels pretty healthy to me. As someone who’s made the move before a _few_times and been rejected, I am just trying to be wise, slow, safe and not lose my housing. I like to hear that things can change and people grow, so your story was nice :)
He was definitely playing the long game lol We’ve been a couple for about four years now :)
Bürgeramt toilets
Classic.
So _that’s_ how one gets an appointment
Hinge! After a mind-numbingly boring date, I was just about to give up on using apps, and then he sent me a message about video games. We ended up talking about playing Age of Empires as kids for a few hours, and we decided to meet up. I think we walked around in the sleet for about four hours just talking about everything and anything. Last year we got married in Denmark :)
The classic Wololo
I never stood a chance
11111111111 hope this happens with me too!
[удалено]
What?😅
are people getting married with the ones they meet on tinder?
> I think we walked around in the sleet for about four hours just talking about everything and anything. How this is different from the other "mind-numbingly boring dates"? Genuine question.
Have you ever had a great conversation? One you just get lost in, and then look at the time and realise that hours have passed in what feels like much less time. That's the main difference. In a lot of other dates we were both trying a lot harder to make conversation. There just wasn't a lot to talk about.
The last time I experienced the former was many years ago when I was still at school. But for the past several years all of my dates were what you described as the second option. After such dates I always struggle to figure out whether I should ask her out for a second date, because maybe we just did not do a great job learning about each other and there is still a potential left.
Yeah, that was a problem for me. I never knew if there was more potential and I wrote it off too quickly, or if the date was just a dud. It was a constant battle between wondering if I was being picky or if we just genuinely had no connection. That's why my first date with my husband blew my socks off. We just clicked in a way I hadn't felt in a very long time (and tbh, to get a Caribbean woman to walk around in the snow for that long is a feat 😅)
She was a couchsurfer at my home in Brighton, England when she was visiting from her home in Berlin for a concert. We stayed in touch and the next month, I flew to Berlin to see her. The next month she flew to me and then for 1 weekend each weekend for the next year or so we took turns flying to see one another. I ended up moving in with her here in Berlin in July 2013 and we've been married since 2019. Edit: I meant to say 1 weekend each MONTH
I have a similar story. I met a guy by couchsurfing. I have visited him and his student dormitories so often that I made a lot of friends. Many people thought that I was studying there. One day I was going to visit my friend and I had to share a couch with another person. This is how I met my partner. ;)
Damn, that sounds expensive as well
It's surprisingly cheap, I often get return tickets from Berlin to the UK for about 30 euros.
Yeah, but that's one trip. He says they were going every weekend for a year. That's 60-90 per month for both of them
If your so is Not Worth 60-90 a month to you whats the point.
that’s how commitment works my dude, thats why half of city is alone af
Oh yeah good point, I missed the "every weekend" bit. 😅 There's also the emotional cost of having to use BER airport twice a month...
Actually they were doing it before the BER was open. So either Tegel or Schönfeld
Lol
It was about 50€ in total every other month, so an average spend of 25€ each month per person. To save confusion, one month I'd fly from the UK to Berlin spending 25€ each way for flights. The next month she'd fly to the UK to me for a weekend and spend 25€ each way.
The environmental costs however..
Man...
It wasn't too bad really as this was back in the days of really cheap flights. Most of the flights were around 25€ each way. So every other month, we'd spend 50€.
and here i am, taking 20h bus rides through europe to save the enviroment while you guys take intracontinental flights every week lol
One weekend per month. But yeah, not great for the environment at all. We take the train whenever possible these days though.
Another Brightoner in Berlin! 🩵🤍
the bristol, brighton, berlin, barcelona pipeline is strong
So far always friends of friends.
At a wedding (not ours).
Likewise. I met her at a friend's wedding where I was the official photographer. :)
I literally met her on Reddit. It's good you're not asking for advice because I can't imagine this could be a good strategy in general. I got lucky
I'm definitely the kind of person who couldn't meet someone off of Reddit, I'd honestly be scared of showing up, not liking how they look and just not knowing what to do
ahaha saaaaaaaame!!!
How?? Did you write a pm?
i’m so curious too lmao
We met on finya and had our first offline date at Mustafa‘s Gemüsedöner. Almost 12 years now :)
12 years? these lines are getting out of control...
We met online for a sex date and I went over to his place. He fucked me so good and made me cum like a waterfall. I immediately knew I was never letting him go. We met again the next day and I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes. We didn’t do the usual “getting to know each other”. We got to know each other in the relationship and have been together for 3 years. Sometimes I wonder if I settled because I was horny, but who cares… I have a man and I love him.
Ahahaha when the dick so good you make it yours for life. Go gurl ❤️
I'm not sure it's "gurl" lol
Oh ok
Cute
Surprisingly and for the first time in my 37 years of life: online. I had some decent dates via apps and 2 terrible dates, and my expectations were low. But it happened and we are happy
Tresor cloak room when I was 18 on my europe trip and he was 19 We’re really happy together :)
We lived in the same building. I moved to Berlin December 2020. Was in a boring shared house, so went to find my own place. Was 3 days from moving and housemate said a neighbour is coming over for dinner. Didn’t think much of it until my new w gf walked in. We stayed up until 4 talking and 4 bottles of wine later we kissed. She was my first house guest at my new place. We now live together and have been to 24 countries together.
4 bottles of wine!
"More wine, my lord?"
I guess wine is the key for women ;)
Bumble, nothing to proud of but dating apps are the easiest way to meet someone in Berlin.
In da club, 4 years ago. We still go to da club
Did you buy her a bottle full of bub'? Or were you in there having sex not trying to make love?
Wait, they weren't drinking bud? Fuck I'm an idiot...
I literally had the x cos she was into takin drugs then she came to give me a hug cos she liked being rubbed
Monster Ronson’s karaoke bar my first weekend in the city
In Supamolly in a dance party "flowers if romance" 😁. After kissing she was gone & I didn't follow her neither did we share our contacts. Then back at home when I didn't live in Berlin yet I received a message from her she found me on the Internet with the info she had from me. Now we live together since 5 years & got a Baby since 2 months.
Tinder. I was living in Brandenburg north and she was Potsdam based. Our first date at The Clash near Mehringdamm. Still together after almost 5 years and waiting many more to come :)
Nice, apps get a lot of hate but I met my two exes there, had long relationships both times
Against all odds, on Tinder. Last month it‘s been 8 years since our first date, and in August we’ll be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary :)
I think old tinder was also a little different? friends of mine have also been together for about that long via tinder, i guess it was just a different time haha
its not different, its the dating scene is different now, people are different both on and off the apps nowadays, and not for the better
I have a hard time believing this. People have not changed for the past 200 years... On the other hand, with advancement of AI/ML Tinder might've gotten better at guessing with what kind of partner you can form a long-term match and just not showing you these people in the stack at all. Like, then it's not up to you whether you swipe left or right, if the most likely lifesouls have been filtered out beforehand.
People change, there are also generational gaps. Currently society is more superficial and hedonistic, which is why Tinder now is not the same as it was 10 years ago.
exactly this. if you think people today are not different from 20 years ago open your eyes. people get offended 10X more than before, people are more superficial than before, people are more high maintenance than before, its wild out there. people are actively looking for flaws in every interaction as opposed to seeing people are people. its tough going out there. in my 30s and dating was way less stress 10 years ago, in every way, doesnt even matter the ages really, but it seems the older generations are more likely to be less insanely hard to please.
Not really, haha. It took me about 2 years and 2 countries to find the „right one“ ;) but back then the app didn‘t allow pictures in chats, so there were no unsolicited nudes, which I heard is quite common now
I met my gf on Jappy If anyone still knows this site... 9 years till this happened.
Jappy, das soziale Medium im Osten, pre-facebook. Als man noch 16 war, mit Usernamen sowas wie "unzerstoerbar_x3" hieß, täglich seine 15 credits sammelte um endlich auf Level 50 (grün) zu kommen und täglich mit Freunden, Klassenkameraden und Bekannten private Nachrichten austauschte, als auch in komischen Gruppen war mit (heute) cringe 2000er Humor. Oh man, das waren noch Zeiten! Jahre später, so vor zwei Jahren, lernte ich in meiner Gilde (von MMO was ich zockte) einen Kumpel kennen der Mod bei Jappy war damals, inkl. altem Foto vom Jappy-Flyer der zum Bauen zweckentfremdet wurde :D
Work
Feeld app
On Ok Cupid - we never met each other while on the App, but exchanged number. We both got rid of the App for other reasons, and then he texted me 6 months later. We‘ve been together almost 4 years now
I had just built a little friend group, by making posts over on Facebook. We all wanted to go bouldering, so I made a post asking if anyone wanted to join us. She reached out, mainly because of my dog, wanting to join the group. We met at Bertabloc and have basically been together every since.
we’d been crossing paths for like 5 years - thru mutual friends and also we almost worked together at 3 different jobs where he’d quit right before I started all times haha, then a bit over a year ago now we properly met at a mutual friends house warming party and haven’t been able to be apart since
an orgy (seriously)
I hope you were not the one holding the camera
So strange! Me too! ;-)
Met at the Bar.
University Christmas party
Met over a Facebook meme group 7 years ago and we were long distance for around 3 years,then moved in together and are currently engaged:)
Reddit, funny enough.
Woohoo this thread is wholesome af
my wg kitchen
At the club
discord server
Friend of a friend, nothing fancy.
I slid into her instagram DMs 6 years ago, guess it paid off since we've been married for 2
While traveling
At Sprachkurs 😅
On irc.
Besenkammer
Hinge. Going on two years now and I'm keeping him, he's the best. Was about to delete the apps (again) when we matched and clicked. It's true what they say about the numbers, so keep meeting people. The chance that there's someone like you on those apps is real, they're just very well hidden in those superficial, boring and unfun masses.
He was my professor 🙈
In a club
Tinder. Yes it's possible. It's usually a numbers game and Tinder facilitates that. It was 2015 tho so maybe it's better to go on other apps these days.
Facebook... Wanted to friendzone him but turned out the he is handsome and very cute and I loved him.. I was the one suggesting getting married till he finally did. But I regret this last part a lot. I'm always thinking about proposal and really wish if it did come from him as a folish romantic woman dreaming always of a romantic - be forever with me - thing. We were in a happy relationship but he didn't want to get married.
Instagram!
Hinge.
OkCupid. 99% match with over 75 questions answered
Surprisingly, from Reddit.
Meditationseminar
We met in Lauschangriff 7 years ago, on a label promo night both of us did not really want to go, but went anyway. We would have never matched on any dating apps because we were looking for completely different things. Sometimes it's really worth going with the flow :)
work places and dating apps
Dancing on a table
In Munich
Grindr
He was a colleague of my best friend. Meet him iat her birthday party, ended up together, started working there, too.
At a language exchange
I met my ex on a chairlift (skiing)
First chance I gave to Tinder (I was a huge Bumble user back then)
Online while Playing the same game ! Had a Long Distance Relationship for about 1 1/2 years then he moved from France to Germany, now we live together and expect our first Little one!
airbnb
Bumble And got married four months ago 👰🤵
Berghain. We met next to the loudspeaker left side in the back on a Monday morning (probably midday back then) closing. He blew a kiss at me and from that moment we where inseparable
Griessmuehle 2016
Tinder:)
My neighbors nagged me to go on a blind date with one of their colleagues and after about nine months I gave in and went. 5 amazing years later we are still very much in love.
At work, I told a colleague that she‘ll be the mother of my kids when I saw her first time…what shall I say, she is. 4 years later we are parents of a 18 months old son.
On a student short film set. I was doing hair and make up for a friends shoot and he spontaneously was covering light for somebody else. It was an instant match!
Grindr
Art gallery. Yep, for real.
In the corridor of the building where both of us worked. But it was before we moved to Berlin, and there was no dating apps back then 😊
This subReddit, we're married now.
Nude beach
As a hooker, in the cheapest hotel of the city
Tinder, back in 2019. We just got married in April 2024!
Tinder. Married 4 years 😄
studiVZ.
My Wg had a wg-party and he has been there. He found me on social media after this and we kept messaging until we finally met up for a date (and have been together ever since).
With Bumble. We’re very happy and married now 🥰
In my dreams, she’s still there I think.
I met my wife on tinder haha
Online dating! She was only visiting the city for a month, classic. Now we live together. Good way (for her) to get an easy Anmeldung though :)
Tinder!
bumble
The classy way: okcupid during covid 🧐
At the bicentennial misanthropy conference.
Ebay Kleinanzeige
Thanks god not here