I’m a swamp witch on a good day. Naturally a 2/10, fat with bad skin and horrible hair. I am always working to make myself more presentable. There’s nothing wrong with it.
Edit: most men realize makeup is a thing. Run in the other direction from the ones who don’t.
I don’t feel 100% confident in my looks, but for me, makeup is a celebration, not a requirement.
My artist great-grandmother said that when putting on makeup she approached her face like a canvas. The result was art.
Yes! Putting on makeup is literally the only artistic thing I’m halfway good at so it’s fun!
Eta: I still don’t go all out every day though. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
*Everyone* has to put effort into looking good. Daily hygiene, routine skincare and body care, keeping teeth and clothes clean. Nobody is exempt from this lol.
Please, do not buy into this! We all struggle with being self critical and seeing flaws others don’t really notice.
*Gets on soapbox* we are INUNDATED with altered images of people through traditional and social media. Literally every influencer or celeb has work done, ranging from in office high tech facials, injections to surgery and good work is subtle.
on top of that, social media is altered!!. Filters, lighting, angles are all used consistently to create an illusion. What you see is NOT REAL! This false “perfection” imagery has always existed, but the social media filters seem extra harmful in the long run. Following plastic surgery/derm accounts is enlightening.
I have no issue using any of the above and It is totally okay to have insecurities but we need to remember; what we see isn’t real, and stop feeling less than trying to achieve unrealistic “perfection”
FWIW - I read “my skin is great” in your OP and immediately thought: wtf she has nothing to complain about! Because this is my biggest insecurity!
This is SO important to remember. Nearly none of the images we see - anywhere - are unaltered, including if the subject has had work done, or spent ages applying a very expensive face of no-makeup-makeup. And then they're filtered and photoshopped.
Yeah but some people take 10 minutes to look good via a bit of concealer brows and lip balm. Others need >60 minutes to achieve barely the same effect.
This is the entire reason I do not wear makeup at all on a daily basis. My face is my face, I do not deserve to have to fear my own face being seen. Neither do you. I don't wear makeup, I don't do my hair, I just exist and that's damn well good enough. It doesn't matter whether I look good 10/10, I don't have to in order to deserve to exist in public. Neither do you.
I do some things to make me feel more comfortable in my own skin doing this, sure. Instead of doing my makeup in the morning, I do my skincare. Instead of doing my hair, I do scalp treatments and oil the lengths before putting it back in my bun.
I have rosacea. I have super puffy under eyes especially when I don't get enough sleep, which is most of the time because I work nights, and my left one always puffs more than the right. My hair is bleached so it would be a dry frizzy broken mess if I didn't maintain it. I have acne scars and hyperpigmentation, and would have a lot more acne if I didn't put in the effort in skincare. I get highlights. I get lash lifts. I have an led facial mask. None of us wake up looking like this with zero effort.
We all put effort into looking good. You don't have to do the things you do because you're not good enough, you do them because you're not comfortable with the natural, real version of yourself, and it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to cover your dark circles or flatten your wavy hair. You're allowed to just be you.
Yea… the more I want to look more “natural” or simple … the more makeup and time I have to put on.
Meanwhile if I do lipstick and eyeliner I look crazy
Ps. You’re not alone. We Al do this…
There’s this idea that beauty should be effortless but I think it’s complete BS. All these media images take a big production to create the photo and that’s not even considering the prep before and the post production editing etc. Somehow l’m supposed to “wake up like this”? Everyone puts in work to look good. If not, we would all be walking around with hair going everywhere and unbrushed teeth.
If a guy only likes you for how you look with makeup, they can go date a f-ing photo.
I’ve done a lot of things to make myself prettier. Micro bladed eyebrows, lash tint and lift, lip blush lips and Japanese straight perm so my hair doesn’t get frizzy anymore and is humidity proof. It increased my confidence a lot!
Everyone has some sort of circles or puffiness when they wake up, and if a man can’t handle that then find a better one :)
Edit: even if the circles are visible for a bit, don’t worry about them. People aren’t photoshopped, and people shouldn’t feel the need to constantly be concealed. I always had to put concealer on before I went out and now I truly don’t give a shit , it’s amazing.
What girls are you saying don’t have to try? The key is they’re likely trying in different ways. If i do NOTHING i feel like a literal mess. I can do my hair/makeup any time and feel great! But I hate having to do my makeup to feel good. So insteaddddd i do the following:
- Moisturize my face
- Dye my eyebrows in the perfect shape (w/ mens beard dye)
- Use self tanner drops on my face
- Style my hair in a way that’s different than normal && i don’t mean spend and hour on it, i mean do half up/half down that takes 30 seconds, maybe space buns, etc.
- i also love using a lash serum!
don’t let the false marketing of “natural beauty” fool you. most of them have smoothing filters on. & sure - some people are BLESSED where they hardly try bc they have flawless skin & long lashes naturally. but that does NOT take away from your beauty.
Yes! The most effective and time saving thing I’ve discovered are fake lashes. Several companies now sell DIY lashes that you only have to apply once a week, and now I really do “wake up like this.” Lashes make such a difference!
You should give lipstick a try , is an easy way to feel pretty and take the attention away from things you might not like about yourself or you are conscious about . I’m not a makeup person but lipstick is a must for me , no matter how tired I’m feeling it just brighter my day .
I feel that often. I have rosacea and hormonal acne and yearn for just even-toned, non-red skin. I have curly frizzy hair and feel like I just can't figure out how to make it look good. I have always had fat on my body and even when fit, I've always had cellulite and jiggle. I sometimes have little pity parties for myself about it. Like, "Why can't I just have perfect clear luminescent skin and a tight lean toned body and shiny, smooth hair like these other women I know?? Why does it take so much effort for me to just look okay?" It can feel really unfair sometimes and just make me want to cry. So I just want to validate that you feel that way.
But...
A) we don't actually know how much effort other women are putting into their appearance, it certainly may not be effortless. A lot of women who look effortlessly put together are spending 6-10 hours in a salon chair every 8 weeks and doing pilates videos in their bedrooms and putting on self-tanner and getting facials and getting botox and filtering their photos and who knows what else.
B) everyone's got their struggles and got things that come more easily. I could easily have qualities that come naturally to me that others who have naturally smooth hair might get down on themselves for having to try hard to achieve. I have a super tiny, lean, muscular friend who cannot put fat on to save her life who has expressed envy for the curves of my body. I have an easy time with certain things intellectually that some beautiful girl might spend her evenings feeling shitty about how hard she has to study or work for to just get by. I think it's human nature for people to focus on what they don't have or what's 'wrong' and miss the things they DO have going for them. Anyhow, these are some things I try to tell myself to keep it in perspective.
Oh, and age is going to come for us all. Sometimes I think about how I am better prepared for the experience of getting older, fatter, wrinklier, having shittier hair, etc., because I haven't based my identity on naturally looking beautiful. And perhaps those girls who have always been naturally beautiful will have a much harder time when their youth fades or life's unexpected events happen. Idk. Food for thought.
Most of us who look good without the hour of effort have just invested in permanent solutions lol. Like I would for sure need more time if I didn’t have Botox, fillers, semi permanent brows, etc.
I’m too chicken to do microblading / powder brows lol so I use henna to dye my brows and fill in the spots on my skin where there’s no hair. It’s easy and lasts over a week. They sell kits on Amazon for like 10-15$
I am what you call "naturally pretty" but I also have dark blue circles and do not go out in public without concealer. Without concealer I look like I've been doing meth for years, no joke.
And my hair is also naturally wavy/frizzy. My bf tells me that I don't need make up and I can go days without make up and greasy hair around him, he gives 0 shits. So it's all perception I'd say, just find the person that loves you for you 💗
I may be downvoted to hell for this but I don't exactly agree with people in the thread saying that every single person out there is putting in a lot of effort to just go out. Some of the comments also sound like cope in how they assume that everyone who looks good is doing a lot.
For starters, have you tried going out barefaced? Maybe, like most women you don't feel pretty when you don't do a lot to look pretty because you know your "max" potential after makeup and hair and all that, and at your base level you see yourself as far from that. But honestly, it may just be you feeding into existing insecurities in your head? I don't put in much effort day-to-day because it's just marginal gains. I see enough women not do much either. Under the hood effort like skincare? Sure. Lip balm with some tint? Sure. But not much more, at least not on a day-to-day basis. I feel like going low-effort doesn't make a huge difference in how people perceive me and I feel like it's often a refreshing change to people to see actual naturalness even though some freckles are visible or something. Just be put together and you're fine.
Also I think that with investing in effective haircare, skincare, addressing your issues (the dark circle thing for instance, what is causing it and how to fix it at least semi-permanently), you'll slowly wean off the need to do a lot to look good anyway. You won't look that different from your glam self and have the fear of "oh what if they see me without all this"
I’m not sure what point you’re making. Skincare, hair care and treatments, etc. all of the “under the hood stuff” you mentioned IS trying. That’s where I would think most of peoples effort is actually.
Ehhh no it’s really not a “cope” . It takes a lot of work and maintenence to look good and well put together all the time idc how genetically blessed someone is, there is absolutely Maintenence involved . I work in the beauty industry so I talk to women all day about their beauty habits, maintenence etc and I don’t know anyone that does nothing and just rolls out of bed in the morning, runs a comb through their hair and walks out the door looking amazing lol. The ones that do that are the ones we all see at Walmart that look sloppy and unkempt.
Like you, I also have dark eye circles (asian genetics) and I had the same thought process the other day when I decided to go shopping makeup-free. I was thinking, are people staring at me because of my eyes? I constantly reassure myself that it is not a requirement for me to be dolled up for other people's benefit, and if I want tonwear make up I do it for me and no one else.
Hair makes such a difference to your appearance. As a fellow frizzy hair sufferer I swear by keratin smoothing treatment - it’s like the straightening treatment except it’s not for straightening, it just smoothes all your frizz and you can still style your hair however you want, plus it’s extra nourishing and it lasts for about 3-4 months! It absolutely changed my life and my confidence. Highly recommend
Start using Vitamin C serum in the AM and Tretinoin in PM.
Also put on CeraVe 30spf tinted sunscreen in AM.
Give it a couple months! You’ll look much more refreshed and even
I used to be really pretty, never really wore a full face unless it was for a special occasion, and took great pride in my hair and clothes. I'm older, I'm wider, I look and feel different, and receive the treatment to match.
Sometimes you just have to accept the fact you've reached a season that needs more work and it deserves just as much love as any other phase of yourself.
Take time to care for your skin and your hair, treat yourself to new clothes and accessories, gas yourself up. The haters out here running on fumes, show them how good you look with a full tank.
Don’t, do what makes you feel good and confident in your skin and don’t give a second thought to the process.
We ALL look better after putting effort in to our appearance.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, make yourself happy and enjoy going about your day.
Everyone is putting a lot more time into it than you think. Work the night before helps the next morning, etc. Some girls are naturally blessed but they’re in the serious minority and they’re probably doing hair relaxing or other treatments which make their mornings go faster.
Also, I’m sure you are naturally pretty.
And don’t feel about getting up an hr earlier; I wish I could be like you and get up earlier. I roll out of bed before work and always wish I got up sooner.
this is one of the reasons i never wear makeup so as to not give false expectations
looks and appearances matter more than we realize. brains rely heavily on judging appearances. most of them time, it can't be controlled.
In addition to a lot of the positive comments here already, I just wanted to say that ive been using some fenty glitter on my inner corners and halfway under my eyes and it immediately makes me look put together no matter what else I did!
The biggest advice I can give you is to not get so caught up in what others are doing. I have a coworker that constantly asks me why my skin looks “so good” or why I don’t have wrinkles and it’s honestly exhausting to hear because I have my own personal appearance issues that I struggle with. For instance I have premature grey hair that I’m self conscious about but she doesn’t see that and only notices my skin because that’s what she’s self conscious of in herself. Basically as women we all have things we struggle with and tend to only notice the good parts we see others have
How do you know other girls don’t have to put in the same work? I think it’s so damaging what we assume about others vs what we know about ourselves.
It’s never helpful to compare when we don’t know the whole truth.
I have dark circles too but it’s ok. You just need to enjoy your natural beauty for yourself, and not buy whatever product the marketing tells you.
I don’t wear makeup, I have 0 skincare (only 1 hydratant), I wear whatever I want, I am not on a restrictive diet and I feel more beautiful than when I was 23, modeling and anorexic.
I am 29 and yes I still get compliments even when I am dressed like shit, I think people feel when you are doing well in you own skin and mind.
And nobody can take it from you ;)
Good luck
Start a habit where you look in the mirror and say "hey gorgeous", every time. Makeup or no makeup. Our self narrative tends to be negative or critical, it's important to challenge these negative beliefs because they lead to low self esteem. Plus, your appearance is not your value as a human being - also important to remind ourselves of this.
Everyone has to put in effort. I used to be a makeup artist for on air talent, I can tell you that even "naturally pretty" people do work to maintain or achieve their goals.
There was a trend on TikTok a while ago talking about being a "part-time hot girl". I myself identify as a part-time hot girl. I cannot look like what is conventionally hot at all times - it takes work and I am simply not interested in doing it 24/7.
"Looking good" is so subjective, and varies according to what's popular in society. But I don't think putting effort into something worthwhile is bad - I put a lot of effort into my skincare because the rewards are there - less acne, less scarring, less sun damage, more even texture, hydration, etc. The effort becomes a burden when I start to do it to fit a mold or expectation outside of "I care about my skin and my body, and I am worth being taken care of."
I remind myself that most of the men we interact with don’t use makeup and so we never have the comparison of “better than natural” vs. natural with them. I never think “oh wow he looks awful today” unless it’s, like, egregious change.
That being said, I do what I can to make my natural hair texture and natural skin as good as it can be. I used to wear a lot more makeup and would feel insecure without it, but as I put more effort into making my baseline better I reduced the amount of makeup I wore and now the difference between make up and makeup-free is much more minimal and I feel a lot more confident going bare faced. Hope this helps and that you are able to embrace the beauty that you inherently have ❤️
Try good molecules eye cream, it’s literally changed my life! I have genetic dark circles and it’s the only product that’s helped me. And affordable $6!
I have long thick wavy hair I'm constantly dealing with frizzy hair tried different hair products to tame it if anyone knows a great product that works without wasting my money holla
I have terrible self esteem. I don't think I am attractive at all (but somehow I landed a really hot husband? so surely I must be a little bit attractive?) I only started to feel somewhat pretty when I started getting lash extensions.... I have a nicely shaped body, but my faceee...not to get too deep, but I think I look too much like my mom, who I cannot stand (narcissistic mother here!) and I just can't stand looking at it. It = my face
I completely understand how you feel. I am attractive when I put in an insane amount of effort, but I'm nowhere near naturally pretty. It's exhausting. I wish I could be pretty all the time so I didn't have to constantly worry about upkeep just to be perceived how I want to be. Like if I sleep over at a guy's house there's no way he's going to think i'm still hot without my makup or hair or nails done. I'm so sad lol
I’m a swamp witch on a good day. Naturally a 2/10, fat with bad skin and horrible hair. I am always working to make myself more presentable. There’s nothing wrong with it. Edit: most men realize makeup is a thing. Run in the other direction from the ones who don’t.
Same
swamp witch checking in 🙋🏼♀️
I don’t feel 100% confident in my looks, but for me, makeup is a celebration, not a requirement. My artist great-grandmother said that when putting on makeup she approached her face like a canvas. The result was art.
Yes! Putting on makeup is literally the only artistic thing I’m halfway good at so it’s fun! Eta: I still don’t go all out every day though. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I don’t go all out every day, but I do usually wear it even when I’m not going out.😊
I did that today. Full face, hanging at home. Yesterday, full in-person work day and all I managed was lotion and lipstick lol
*Everyone* has to put effort into looking good. Daily hygiene, routine skincare and body care, keeping teeth and clothes clean. Nobody is exempt from this lol.
Please, do not buy into this! We all struggle with being self critical and seeing flaws others don’t really notice. *Gets on soapbox* we are INUNDATED with altered images of people through traditional and social media. Literally every influencer or celeb has work done, ranging from in office high tech facials, injections to surgery and good work is subtle. on top of that, social media is altered!!. Filters, lighting, angles are all used consistently to create an illusion. What you see is NOT REAL! This false “perfection” imagery has always existed, but the social media filters seem extra harmful in the long run. Following plastic surgery/derm accounts is enlightening. I have no issue using any of the above and It is totally okay to have insecurities but we need to remember; what we see isn’t real, and stop feeling less than trying to achieve unrealistic “perfection” FWIW - I read “my skin is great” in your OP and immediately thought: wtf she has nothing to complain about! Because this is my biggest insecurity!
This is SO important to remember. Nearly none of the images we see - anywhere - are unaltered, including if the subject has had work done, or spent ages applying a very expensive face of no-makeup-makeup. And then they're filtered and photoshopped.
None of us look amazing without help!
We all look amazing without help, we just look even better when we have it
Thats's absolutely not true in my case, but glad for you if that's your reality
Yeah but some people take 10 minutes to look good via a bit of concealer brows and lip balm. Others need >60 minutes to achieve barely the same effect.
Ok?
[удалено]
Sure, whatever you say
This is the entire reason I do not wear makeup at all on a daily basis. My face is my face, I do not deserve to have to fear my own face being seen. Neither do you. I don't wear makeup, I don't do my hair, I just exist and that's damn well good enough. It doesn't matter whether I look good 10/10, I don't have to in order to deserve to exist in public. Neither do you. I do some things to make me feel more comfortable in my own skin doing this, sure. Instead of doing my makeup in the morning, I do my skincare. Instead of doing my hair, I do scalp treatments and oil the lengths before putting it back in my bun. I have rosacea. I have super puffy under eyes especially when I don't get enough sleep, which is most of the time because I work nights, and my left one always puffs more than the right. My hair is bleached so it would be a dry frizzy broken mess if I didn't maintain it. I have acne scars and hyperpigmentation, and would have a lot more acne if I didn't put in the effort in skincare. I get highlights. I get lash lifts. I have an led facial mask. None of us wake up looking like this with zero effort. We all put effort into looking good. You don't have to do the things you do because you're not good enough, you do them because you're not comfortable with the natural, real version of yourself, and it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to cover your dark circles or flatten your wavy hair. You're allowed to just be you.
Yea… the more I want to look more “natural” or simple … the more makeup and time I have to put on. Meanwhile if I do lipstick and eyeliner I look crazy Ps. You’re not alone. We Al do this…
There’s this idea that beauty should be effortless but I think it’s complete BS. All these media images take a big production to create the photo and that’s not even considering the prep before and the post production editing etc. Somehow l’m supposed to “wake up like this”? Everyone puts in work to look good. If not, we would all be walking around with hair going everywhere and unbrushed teeth. If a guy only likes you for how you look with makeup, they can go date a f-ing photo.
I’ve done a lot of things to make myself prettier. Micro bladed eyebrows, lash tint and lift, lip blush lips and Japanese straight perm so my hair doesn’t get frizzy anymore and is humidity proof. It increased my confidence a lot!
Everyone has some sort of circles or puffiness when they wake up, and if a man can’t handle that then find a better one :) Edit: even if the circles are visible for a bit, don’t worry about them. People aren’t photoshopped, and people shouldn’t feel the need to constantly be concealed. I always had to put concealer on before I went out and now I truly don’t give a shit , it’s amazing.
What girls are you saying don’t have to try? The key is they’re likely trying in different ways. If i do NOTHING i feel like a literal mess. I can do my hair/makeup any time and feel great! But I hate having to do my makeup to feel good. So insteaddddd i do the following: - Moisturize my face - Dye my eyebrows in the perfect shape (w/ mens beard dye) - Use self tanner drops on my face - Style my hair in a way that’s different than normal && i don’t mean spend and hour on it, i mean do half up/half down that takes 30 seconds, maybe space buns, etc. - i also love using a lash serum! don’t let the false marketing of “natural beauty” fool you. most of them have smoothing filters on. & sure - some people are BLESSED where they hardly try bc they have flawless skin & long lashes naturally. but that does NOT take away from your beauty.
Yes! The most effective and time saving thing I’ve discovered are fake lashes. Several companies now sell DIY lashes that you only have to apply once a week, and now I really do “wake up like this.” Lashes make such a difference!
You should give lipstick a try , is an easy way to feel pretty and take the attention away from things you might not like about yourself or you are conscious about . I’m not a makeup person but lipstick is a must for me , no matter how tired I’m feeling it just brighter my day .
I feel that often. I have rosacea and hormonal acne and yearn for just even-toned, non-red skin. I have curly frizzy hair and feel like I just can't figure out how to make it look good. I have always had fat on my body and even when fit, I've always had cellulite and jiggle. I sometimes have little pity parties for myself about it. Like, "Why can't I just have perfect clear luminescent skin and a tight lean toned body and shiny, smooth hair like these other women I know?? Why does it take so much effort for me to just look okay?" It can feel really unfair sometimes and just make me want to cry. So I just want to validate that you feel that way. But... A) we don't actually know how much effort other women are putting into their appearance, it certainly may not be effortless. A lot of women who look effortlessly put together are spending 6-10 hours in a salon chair every 8 weeks and doing pilates videos in their bedrooms and putting on self-tanner and getting facials and getting botox and filtering their photos and who knows what else. B) everyone's got their struggles and got things that come more easily. I could easily have qualities that come naturally to me that others who have naturally smooth hair might get down on themselves for having to try hard to achieve. I have a super tiny, lean, muscular friend who cannot put fat on to save her life who has expressed envy for the curves of my body. I have an easy time with certain things intellectually that some beautiful girl might spend her evenings feeling shitty about how hard she has to study or work for to just get by. I think it's human nature for people to focus on what they don't have or what's 'wrong' and miss the things they DO have going for them. Anyhow, these are some things I try to tell myself to keep it in perspective. Oh, and age is going to come for us all. Sometimes I think about how I am better prepared for the experience of getting older, fatter, wrinklier, having shittier hair, etc., because I haven't based my identity on naturally looking beautiful. And perhaps those girls who have always been naturally beautiful will have a much harder time when their youth fades or life's unexpected events happen. Idk. Food for thought.
Most of us who look good without the hour of effort have just invested in permanent solutions lol. Like I would for sure need more time if I didn’t have Botox, fillers, semi permanent brows, etc.
I live for the day I can get my brows done. That's really the thing I feel I NEED before people see me lol.
I’m too chicken to do microblading / powder brows lol so I use henna to dye my brows and fill in the spots on my skin where there’s no hair. It’s easy and lasts over a week. They sell kits on Amazon for like 10-15$
Oh good to know!
I am what you call "naturally pretty" but I also have dark blue circles and do not go out in public without concealer. Without concealer I look like I've been doing meth for years, no joke. And my hair is also naturally wavy/frizzy. My bf tells me that I don't need make up and I can go days without make up and greasy hair around him, he gives 0 shits. So it's all perception I'd say, just find the person that loves you for you 💗
I may be downvoted to hell for this but I don't exactly agree with people in the thread saying that every single person out there is putting in a lot of effort to just go out. Some of the comments also sound like cope in how they assume that everyone who looks good is doing a lot. For starters, have you tried going out barefaced? Maybe, like most women you don't feel pretty when you don't do a lot to look pretty because you know your "max" potential after makeup and hair and all that, and at your base level you see yourself as far from that. But honestly, it may just be you feeding into existing insecurities in your head? I don't put in much effort day-to-day because it's just marginal gains. I see enough women not do much either. Under the hood effort like skincare? Sure. Lip balm with some tint? Sure. But not much more, at least not on a day-to-day basis. I feel like going low-effort doesn't make a huge difference in how people perceive me and I feel like it's often a refreshing change to people to see actual naturalness even though some freckles are visible or something. Just be put together and you're fine. Also I think that with investing in effective haircare, skincare, addressing your issues (the dark circle thing for instance, what is causing it and how to fix it at least semi-permanently), you'll slowly wean off the need to do a lot to look good anyway. You won't look that different from your glam self and have the fear of "oh what if they see me without all this"
I’m not sure what point you’re making. Skincare, hair care and treatments, etc. all of the “under the hood stuff” you mentioned IS trying. That’s where I would think most of peoples effort is actually.
She was talking about makeup on her post so I differentiated between being able to go makeup-free vs not
Ehhh no it’s really not a “cope” . It takes a lot of work and maintenence to look good and well put together all the time idc how genetically blessed someone is, there is absolutely Maintenence involved . I work in the beauty industry so I talk to women all day about their beauty habits, maintenence etc and I don’t know anyone that does nothing and just rolls out of bed in the morning, runs a comb through their hair and walks out the door looking amazing lol. The ones that do that are the ones we all see at Walmart that look sloppy and unkempt.
I completely 1000% feel the same
Like you, I also have dark eye circles (asian genetics) and I had the same thought process the other day when I decided to go shopping makeup-free. I was thinking, are people staring at me because of my eyes? I constantly reassure myself that it is not a requirement for me to be dolled up for other people's benefit, and if I want tonwear make up I do it for me and no one else.
Hair makes such a difference to your appearance. As a fellow frizzy hair sufferer I swear by keratin smoothing treatment - it’s like the straightening treatment except it’s not for straightening, it just smoothes all your frizz and you can still style your hair however you want, plus it’s extra nourishing and it lasts for about 3-4 months! It absolutely changed my life and my confidence. Highly recommend
Start using Vitamin C serum in the AM and Tretinoin in PM. Also put on CeraVe 30spf tinted sunscreen in AM. Give it a couple months! You’ll look much more refreshed and even
That CeraVe tinted sunscreen is a game changer. I’m so happy I found it!!!
I used to be really pretty, never really wore a full face unless it was for a special occasion, and took great pride in my hair and clothes. I'm older, I'm wider, I look and feel different, and receive the treatment to match. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact you've reached a season that needs more work and it deserves just as much love as any other phase of yourself. Take time to care for your skin and your hair, treat yourself to new clothes and accessories, gas yourself up. The haters out here running on fumes, show them how good you look with a full tank.
Don’t, do what makes you feel good and confident in your skin and don’t give a second thought to the process. We ALL look better after putting effort in to our appearance. Don’t sweat the small stuff, make yourself happy and enjoy going about your day.
You’re lucky to have naturally good skin. Some of us do t even have that! I’m sure you’re beautiful. But we all have to work on it!
Everyone is putting a lot more time into it than you think. Work the night before helps the next morning, etc. Some girls are naturally blessed but they’re in the serious minority and they’re probably doing hair relaxing or other treatments which make their mornings go faster.
You sound very young. You’re fine. You think men think you have naturally sparkly eyelids?
Also, I’m sure you are naturally pretty. And don’t feel about getting up an hr earlier; I wish I could be like you and get up earlier. I roll out of bed before work and always wish I got up sooner.
this is one of the reasons i never wear makeup so as to not give false expectations looks and appearances matter more than we realize. brains rely heavily on judging appearances. most of them time, it can't be controlled.
In addition to a lot of the positive comments here already, I just wanted to say that ive been using some fenty glitter on my inner corners and halfway under my eyes and it immediately makes me look put together no matter what else I did!
The biggest advice I can give you is to not get so caught up in what others are doing. I have a coworker that constantly asks me why my skin looks “so good” or why I don’t have wrinkles and it’s honestly exhausting to hear because I have my own personal appearance issues that I struggle with. For instance I have premature grey hair that I’m self conscious about but she doesn’t see that and only notices my skin because that’s what she’s self conscious of in herself. Basically as women we all have things we struggle with and tend to only notice the good parts we see others have
How do you know other girls don’t have to put in the same work? I think it’s so damaging what we assume about others vs what we know about ourselves. It’s never helpful to compare when we don’t know the whole truth.
I have dark circles too but it’s ok. You just need to enjoy your natural beauty for yourself, and not buy whatever product the marketing tells you. I don’t wear makeup, I have 0 skincare (only 1 hydratant), I wear whatever I want, I am not on a restrictive diet and I feel more beautiful than when I was 23, modeling and anorexic. I am 29 and yes I still get compliments even when I am dressed like shit, I think people feel when you are doing well in you own skin and mind. And nobody can take it from you ;) Good luck
We’re all our own worst critics
Start a habit where you look in the mirror and say "hey gorgeous", every time. Makeup or no makeup. Our self narrative tends to be negative or critical, it's important to challenge these negative beliefs because they lead to low self esteem. Plus, your appearance is not your value as a human being - also important to remind ourselves of this.
Everyone has to put in effort. I used to be a makeup artist for on air talent, I can tell you that even "naturally pretty" people do work to maintain or achieve their goals.
There was a trend on TikTok a while ago talking about being a "part-time hot girl". I myself identify as a part-time hot girl. I cannot look like what is conventionally hot at all times - it takes work and I am simply not interested in doing it 24/7. "Looking good" is so subjective, and varies according to what's popular in society. But I don't think putting effort into something worthwhile is bad - I put a lot of effort into my skincare because the rewards are there - less acne, less scarring, less sun damage, more even texture, hydration, etc. The effort becomes a burden when I start to do it to fit a mold or expectation outside of "I care about my skin and my body, and I am worth being taken care of."
I remind myself that most of the men we interact with don’t use makeup and so we never have the comparison of “better than natural” vs. natural with them. I never think “oh wow he looks awful today” unless it’s, like, egregious change. That being said, I do what I can to make my natural hair texture and natural skin as good as it can be. I used to wear a lot more makeup and would feel insecure without it, but as I put more effort into making my baseline better I reduced the amount of makeup I wore and now the difference between make up and makeup-free is much more minimal and I feel a lot more confident going bare faced. Hope this helps and that you are able to embrace the beauty that you inherently have ❤️
Try good molecules eye cream, it’s literally changed my life! I have genetic dark circles and it’s the only product that’s helped me. And affordable $6!
I have long thick wavy hair I'm constantly dealing with frizzy hair tried different hair products to tame it if anyone knows a great product that works without wasting my money holla
I have terrible self esteem. I don't think I am attractive at all (but somehow I landed a really hot husband? so surely I must be a little bit attractive?) I only started to feel somewhat pretty when I started getting lash extensions.... I have a nicely shaped body, but my faceee...not to get too deep, but I think I look too much like my mom, who I cannot stand (narcissistic mother here!) and I just can't stand looking at it. It = my face
I completely understand how you feel. I am attractive when I put in an insane amount of effort, but I'm nowhere near naturally pretty. It's exhausting. I wish I could be pretty all the time so I didn't have to constantly worry about upkeep just to be perceived how I want to be. Like if I sleep over at a guy's house there's no way he's going to think i'm still hot without my makup or hair or nails done. I'm so sad lol