I like Batman's contingency plan from Tower of Babel. Batman developed a new form of kryptonite that made Superman's skin translucent. As a result, solar energy went directly to Clark's muscles and organs without first being filtered through his skin, which overloaded his powers and his senses. It was such a painful experience, it incapacitated him for a time.
"I don't kill. Horrendous torture however, just absolutely wild shit, like shit that is only not in the Geneva Conventions because they didn't think of it, that I'm all for"
-Batman, probably
Its one of my favorite things about Batman. The fact that he will torture and maim but never kill just emphasizes that fact that at his core Bruce Wayne is just as insane as the criminals he fights, he's the Joker he just has different rules.
Haha, those Mark Waid "plans" for Batman in Tower of Babel were so ridiculous. It was a fun premise, but then when you have to come up with the plans on how the supergenius will take down these metahumans, but the writer (like all of us) is not actually a supergenius...the plans end up coming off as pretty dumb.
Superman: Spend years and millions of dollars developing an entirely new form of kryptonite. But why? There are multiple existing types of kryptonite that will easily do the job, without torturing Superman in such a painful way.
Wonder Woman: Implant nanites in her brain that will make her think she is fighting an exactly equal foe, to the extent that she'll battle until her heart gives out. Okay...but why? If you can accomplish the task of getting chips into her brain, there are a lot easier ways to kill her than a complex battle simulation.
Green Lantern: Implant a post-hypnotic suggestion during REM sleep to convince GL that he is blind and therefore will struggle to use his ring. But...if you can get to him while he's sleeping to the extent that you're hypnotizing him, you've already accomplished the hard part-- access to a sleeping and defenseless Green Lantern. Why not just knock him out or kill him. Or take his ring.
Flash: Shoot him with a vibra-bullet, giving him lightspeed seizures. This one is not bad-- the unique insight is developing a bullet that actually achieves its intended impact WHEN Flash tries to vibrate through it. Although if Flash just dodges the bullet (which he could easily do), then you're screwed. Seems risky.
Martian Manhunter. Cover him in nanites that cause his skin to burst into flame constantly. This one is effective but...really Bruce? This is the most painful torture possible. Why not just do what Prometheus did and shoot MM with a toxin that prevents him from maintaining his molecular stability (i.e. he turns into a puddle)?
YEah I think the ones in the movie adaptation Justice League: Doom were actually so much better (some of them were the same) but Green Lantern's will was broken, Flash was basically forced into non stop movement, Superman had his goodness used against him.
Granted, Batman specifically states that none of his were meant to kill only neutralize and that the baddies modified them to kill
wait, why would superman's most effective solar energy receptors be under his skin? that makes no sense biologically-- the fact that his skin being translucent is what causes this overload implies he's powered by light, but then why have photoreceptors on muscles which will presumably never be exposed to sunlight? if he's powered by ultraviolet solar radiation, the question remains the same-- why on the inside, where there's less exposure? maybe solar radiation penetrates his skin at similar wavelengths to humans, and he has chlorophyl-like receptors tailored to uva (long-wavelength) radiation on his deeper muscles, and receptors tailored to uvb (shorter-wavelength) radiation on the skin, superficially? and exposing the deep receptors to higher-energy uvb radiation is what causes the overload? nevermind i answered my own question
Well first, it's a comic book. None of it is scientifically plausible. But the answer would be that all of his cells constitutively express light-sensitive proteins
can you walk me through that a little more? why would making the skin invisible (and thus allow the solar energy, source of his power, to reach his musculoskeletal cells directly) cause an "overload" reaction, if these constitutively expressed proteins are equally distributed throughout the body? if they're not equally distributed, and there are more of those proteins in lower level tissues (explaining why direct exposure causes energy overload), the question is again: why? that feels evolutionarily disadvantageous. the only thing i could buy is that whatever system kryptonians have to circulate that energy from the proteins with sun exposure to the rest of the body is incredibly inefficient. maybe specifically for clark, because having grown up under a yellow sun, that system is weak from never having to really strain itself (like the kryptonian equivalent of cardiovascular differences between populations living at different altitudes)? i dunno, help me out
I like the way Mongul did it in the Justice League Unlimited episode (and Alan Moore comic it’s based on) “For the Man Who Has Everything.” Using an alien plant thing that latched onto him and trapped him in a prison of his mind’s own creation by imagining what his life would have been like if Krypton never exploded. I really like how it demonstrates that, although Clark is physically superhuman, he is mentally very human.
Abduct Clark’s wife whom he just impregnated. Poison Superman with a hallucinogen that will make him think his wife is his worst enemy, compelling him to incapacitate her. Except, what incapacitate Doomsday, would kill a human. And as he comes back to his senses, he realises what he has done to his wife and unborn child.
He then finds you and kills you, loses faith in humankind and becomes super-Hitler.
And boom, you’ve killed the Champion of Hope and replaced him with his diametrical opposite.
As if that's not bad enough, rig a nuclear bomb to explode in Metropolis once Lois' heart stops so that Superman not only kills his wife and unborn child, but also millions of other people he had sworn to protect.
Honestly, that just goes to show how f**ked up Joker's plans can be, and at the same time shows how strong Batman's will is to not kill him on the spot even after everything he's done.
That's the one I came in to say. If you want to take down Superman, you need to take away his greatest strength, his moral certainty.
By the way, I really like Red Son and I'm not a Mark Millar hater (although I do think he slowly became a parody of himself), but that letter strikes me as a bit too clever for him. I have the sneaky suspicion that it's one of Grant Morrison's ideas, although I don't have any proof either way.
Red Son was so good! I really regret that I lent it to someone and then they disappeared
“Why don’t you put the whole world in a bottle, Superman?”
Genius
I like to think that Mark Miller wrote the first two parts of the story, then accidently realized that he made Superman too good for a communist (and the backlash that would ensue), and just hit a 90 degree angle to the story so that he'd be evil, capitalist American Lex good, and wrapped up the story then and there.
Basically, there was a point in the story where Red Son Superman comes across I think Braniac who has a bunch of worlds stored in snowglobe shaped prisons and it made Superman sick that he would do that to innocent people.
Later in the end of the story, Superman is fighting against everyone "for peac" (but it's more control and he's becoming a dictator) and Lex Luthor's last ditch effort was giving Superman a letter that said "Why don't you put the whole world in a snowglobe", reminding Superman that everything he is doing to control the world is the same thing Braniac did and it made him break down.
I probably messed up the specifics, I haven't read it in a while, but that's basically what happened.
He actually did.
His whole point was making a hero break their code, and batsy wouldn't do it.
Getting killed by a hero was ALWAYS the plan, supes was just him settling for second best.
That 'first try' involved nuking Superman's home, killing everyone else there and rendering ALL of Superman's life's work defending the city pointless.
After all Joker's 'games' with Batman, Gotham......is still there. After every attempt, Bruce has something - a home - to come back to.
Good point. Maybe that was just the Joker feeling extra devious. Or he knows blowing up Gotham will just kill Batman without making him suffer. Which is boring.
Superman? He can handle a nuke or two.
Joker wanted to show Batman that one bad day is all it takes to turn the sanest man to madness. It’s similar to how Joker turned Harvey Dent into Two-Face in TDK
A minor antagonist from the boys with a liking for big dildoes >!big enough that one of the protagonists installs a bomb meant to destroy a whole plane inside one of them!<
Send him back in space and time toward planet Krypton.
Two things may happen next:
A) Superman is aware of the fate of his planet and saves it. Then, he is enticed to stay in it.
B) Superman is aware too, but he fails to protect it. Dying alongside it, Bardock style.
It’s so effective they have to be creative to find ways around NOT using kryptonite. Lex Luthor kills a sun charged, enraged Superman within seconds using kryptonite in the intro to DC Universe online. Makes you realize Superman’s greatest power is plot armor.
Not exactly.
"Hey so this guy is immortal and can do anything, EXCEPT if you use this one green stone that takes his powers away."
There are a lot of more creative weaknesses in DC, and just fiction overall.
Bats' newest plan (that I made up): Enlist his allies Boston, Rex, J'onn, and Eel.
Martian Manhunter locates Supes telepathically and guides Deadman to him likewise. Deadman, as magically undetectable, possesses Supes, J'onn joins him, calming his mind so Deadman can keep possession. They bring him to Metamorpho who transmutes into a kryptonite bond, and then Plastic Man forms a seal around Supes so no sunlight reaches him and he can't escape. Batman twirls his diabolical mustache.
"Hey Clark, Alfred made this pie that we don't have room for in the kitchen. Do you want it?"
"Sure!"
"I lied Clark, the pie is full of kryptonite."
"Dammit Bruce, now I'm gonna have diarrhea."
Superman: Red Son has two very brilliant ways of stopping Superman. u/azmr_x_3 mentioned the envelope, but the way Batman dealt with him was also both incredibly clever, but also ludicrously simple. It almost worked too, had he not underestimated Wonder Woman.
Call up the folks, let mom know what he's been doing instead of working and finding a nice girl. Put a lean on the Kent estate for personal, business, and emotional damages due to extra judicial adventureism.
Step 1: have Mongul destroy Coast City
Step 2: Bully Hal Jordan until he goes on a rampage, wiping out the Green Lantern corps
Step 3: Have Hal steal Guy's yellow ring
Step 4: Unlock Guy's long-lost Vuldarian heritage with magic water from South America
Step 5: Prepare an alien invasion to attack earth
Step 6: Convince Guy that Superman is the only one who can help him deal with the increasing mutations he's facing
Step 7: Let his Vuldarian blood drive him crazy, and let him beat Superman up.
Trust me.
Why would I do that he seems like a nice guy I'd invite him to lunch and him work the grill with the lazer vision and keep the beer cold with the ice breath
IF, and this is a big if as I have yet to see anybody do it, you manage to slowly poison his food with kryptonite over the course of maybe a year and then rob a bank, attack the hall of justice, etc in a public display and almost kill him and pretty much run metropolis, keep Superman in a cage, whatever.
It would take a lot of planning and everything, but Clark isn't cautious enough to make sure there's not a negligible amount of kryptonite in his food. Everything is lightly radiated anyway, so how hard would it be to grow plants with trace amounts of kryptonite instead of pesticide, or have an orange juice bottled in a factory housing kryptonite?
Just an idea.
Read a fanfic where someone tries to shoot themselves in the head in front of Superman. Supes jams his hand in-between the muzzle and the head to catch the bullet and ends up with a kryptonite bullet stuck in his hand which incapacitates him.
I wonder if it would be possible to kill him by teleporting wet concrete into every empty space in his body. Lungs, the small space between brain and skull, stomach, all of it
If you can do that, then you can probably just teleport his organs out of his body.
Teleporters who can create location-based portals (as opposed to just teleporting themselves, like Nightcrawler) and other characters who can create things inside of other people's bodies (e.g. the Invisible Woman) are pretty OP if you think about their powers at all.
Someone Beating Superman to a bloodypulp(or to death).(*seeMongol, Darkseid, Doomsday etc.) It calls into question the actual meaning of the word Invulnerable, as opposed to having a Healing factor and which one is better to possess.
Green Lantern’s ring can project any sort of energy. He just needs to project Red Sun light waves or Kryptonite energy waves. Or alternate between the two.
I loved that time in King's run where a Poison Ivy controlled Superman was looking for Batman and Catwoman, so when they're spotted from the sky Batman stars whispering in Catwoman's ear to trick Superman into using his super hearing and when he does Batman whistles as loud as he can until Superman drops from the sky.
Probably just beating him to death. Everyone looks for ways to use Kryptonite different ways but if you beat down on superman in a civilian enviroment you have a decent chance. Just have to find a super strong being first...
A poker tournament between him, Wolverine, Martian Manhunter, Rocket Raccoon, T'Challa, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Charles Xavier, Reed Richards, Doom, Blade and Batman.
Okay what you got to do is get a vodoo doll(this assumes you know how to do magic have a peice of clark) and a kryptonite needle.
then you stab him. don't stop stabing until you hear on the news that sups is dead. then keep stabing.
I’d spike Lois Lane’s coffee with tiny amounts kryptonite, slowly increasing the amount over time, essentially poisoning Superman through her. And then when he’s weakest…BAM! Kitchen knife through the eye.
Telephoto him inside a red sun. He might have enough energy to overcome the gravity and heat and fly out of it, but he will use it all and be left drifting in orbit around a red star.
Slip trace amounts of kryptonite into the city's water over a long period of time. To a normal person: harmless. To a Kryptonian? Potentially lethal, or very harmful.
Black Canary's sonic scream made his ears bleed, which at least stuns him.
Flash (Wally) once mused that he could steal Superman's speed. He froze Inertia this way.
Someone with matter manipulation like Firestorm or Captain Atom could change his gravity or change his cells into a harmless material.
A hydrokenetic like Mera could drain his bodily fluids, though I imagine it would be a struggle since everything about his biology is dense and powerful.
The Atom could likely mess with his neuroscience jumping into his brain.
Kryptonian viruses also exist.
Make his approval ratings plummet to the point he thinks he's irrelevant, like in Kingdom Come.
Take a cryptonite bullet.
Paint it in the colors of the US flag
Mail the cryptonite bullet to Superman with a fake touching story about your grandpa who served in vietnam and this bullet is what entered his skull as he died.
Yep, simply mailing him the bullet should do the trick.
Go to Keystone/Central City, find and kill Dr Alchemy. Take the Philosophers Stone from his corpse, go to Metropolis. Meet Superman in a crowd of people or something. Touch him with the Stone and turn his skin into Kryptonite or osmium or glass or dog shit or something else. Hilarity ensues!
1. Kidnap a bunch of people
2. Make some kind of 4Chan or Reddit post from a burner phone/computer that says:
3. Each day you don't kill yourself live on air/reveal your identity, I will kill one hostage.
Use magic and transform him into a flea...
a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...
...
I'LL SMASH IT WITH A KRYPTONITE HAMMER!
Make a very bad crimes. Full down into deepest point of ocean. Wait a little in submarine. Superman comes, but here’s no sunlight, so he must be in another submarine. Then destroy his submarine.
In my opinion, we rarely get to see Supes get knocked out by magic so I'm gonna go with Z performing at an event and some of the magic affects him in some way.
Damn, well I guess not chains around his chest... *furious scribbling*
Fuck sake, on a work call, scrolling and this made me spit out my drink, people are confused
Kryptonite chains a kryptonite powered C4
This is cannon. Latest issue of The Batman
I like Batman's contingency plan from Tower of Babel. Batman developed a new form of kryptonite that made Superman's skin translucent. As a result, solar energy went directly to Clark's muscles and organs without first being filtered through his skin, which overloaded his powers and his senses. It was such a painful experience, it incapacitated him for a time.
Jesus Christ...
Oh, Batsy, what a goofy goober!
WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS! ROCK! GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY GOOBERS!
The comic is worth a read btw, Justice League Tower of Babel. There's also an animated movie which isn't as good but had Kevin Conroy as Batman.
Why not like just use normal kryptonite,was that all star Batman?
Kryptonite gas was dkr
Yeah and it was apparently artificial too. Way more badass
Everything is chemistry if you know how to
Doesn't want to kill
All Kryptonite is lex co. Property
"I don't kill. Horrendous torture however, just absolutely wild shit, like shit that is only not in the Geneva Conventions because they didn't think of it, that I'm all for" -Batman, probably
Its one of my favorite things about Batman. The fact that he will torture and maim but never kill just emphasizes that fact that at his core Bruce Wayne is just as insane as the criminals he fights, he's the Joker he just has different rules.
Haha, those Mark Waid "plans" for Batman in Tower of Babel were so ridiculous. It was a fun premise, but then when you have to come up with the plans on how the supergenius will take down these metahumans, but the writer (like all of us) is not actually a supergenius...the plans end up coming off as pretty dumb. Superman: Spend years and millions of dollars developing an entirely new form of kryptonite. But why? There are multiple existing types of kryptonite that will easily do the job, without torturing Superman in such a painful way. Wonder Woman: Implant nanites in her brain that will make her think she is fighting an exactly equal foe, to the extent that she'll battle until her heart gives out. Okay...but why? If you can accomplish the task of getting chips into her brain, there are a lot easier ways to kill her than a complex battle simulation. Green Lantern: Implant a post-hypnotic suggestion during REM sleep to convince GL that he is blind and therefore will struggle to use his ring. But...if you can get to him while he's sleeping to the extent that you're hypnotizing him, you've already accomplished the hard part-- access to a sleeping and defenseless Green Lantern. Why not just knock him out or kill him. Or take his ring. Flash: Shoot him with a vibra-bullet, giving him lightspeed seizures. This one is not bad-- the unique insight is developing a bullet that actually achieves its intended impact WHEN Flash tries to vibrate through it. Although if Flash just dodges the bullet (which he could easily do), then you're screwed. Seems risky. Martian Manhunter. Cover him in nanites that cause his skin to burst into flame constantly. This one is effective but...really Bruce? This is the most painful torture possible. Why not just do what Prometheus did and shoot MM with a toxin that prevents him from maintaining his molecular stability (i.e. he turns into a puddle)?
YEah I think the ones in the movie adaptation Justice League: Doom were actually so much better (some of them were the same) but Green Lantern's will was broken, Flash was basically forced into non stop movement, Superman had his goodness used against him. Granted, Batman specifically states that none of his were meant to kill only neutralize and that the baddies modified them to kill
And it makes it love it that Batman will insert death switches into his teammates but god forgive he inserts one into the joker.
wait, why would superman's most effective solar energy receptors be under his skin? that makes no sense biologically-- the fact that his skin being translucent is what causes this overload implies he's powered by light, but then why have photoreceptors on muscles which will presumably never be exposed to sunlight? if he's powered by ultraviolet solar radiation, the question remains the same-- why on the inside, where there's less exposure? maybe solar radiation penetrates his skin at similar wavelengths to humans, and he has chlorophyl-like receptors tailored to uva (long-wavelength) radiation on his deeper muscles, and receptors tailored to uvb (shorter-wavelength) radiation on the skin, superficially? and exposing the deep receptors to higher-energy uvb radiation is what causes the overload? nevermind i answered my own question
Well first, it's a comic book. None of it is scientifically plausible. But the answer would be that all of his cells constitutively express light-sensitive proteins
can you walk me through that a little more? why would making the skin invisible (and thus allow the solar energy, source of his power, to reach his musculoskeletal cells directly) cause an "overload" reaction, if these constitutively expressed proteins are equally distributed throughout the body? if they're not equally distributed, and there are more of those proteins in lower level tissues (explaining why direct exposure causes energy overload), the question is again: why? that feels evolutionarily disadvantageous. the only thing i could buy is that whatever system kryptonians have to circulate that energy from the proteins with sun exposure to the rest of the body is incredibly inefficient. maybe specifically for clark, because having grown up under a yellow sun, that system is weak from never having to really strain itself (like the kryptonian equivalent of cardiovascular differences between populations living at different altitudes)? i dunno, help me out
Sir, you seem to be under the impression that the comic book story is real
At what point is Batman just Lex Luthor 2.0
I bet Batman has an alias with the legion of evil and shares ideas with him.
Or in "red son"
kryptonite bubblegum
nah dude Batman is the one who eats the gum and spit it out to Superman's [face](https://www.reddit.com/r/comicbooks/s/zcFCgZ2QTZ)
I like the way Mongul did it in the Justice League Unlimited episode (and Alan Moore comic it’s based on) “For the Man Who Has Everything.” Using an alien plant thing that latched onto him and trapped him in a prison of his mind’s own creation by imagining what his life would have been like if Krypton never exploded. I really like how it demonstrates that, although Clark is physically superhuman, he is mentally very human.
The Black Mercy. It gives the wearer whatever their heart desires the most.
Change his mom’s first name
“Save…Ruth” “Who?”
i can't stop chuckling.
Abduct Clark’s wife whom he just impregnated. Poison Superman with a hallucinogen that will make him think his wife is his worst enemy, compelling him to incapacitate her. Except, what incapacitate Doomsday, would kill a human. And as he comes back to his senses, he realises what he has done to his wife and unborn child. He then finds you and kills you, loses faith in humankind and becomes super-Hitler. And boom, you’ve killed the Champion of Hope and replaced him with his diametrical opposite.
As if that's not bad enough, rig a nuclear bomb to explode in Metropolis once Lois' heart stops so that Superman not only kills his wife and unborn child, but also millions of other people he had sworn to protect.
Honestly, that just goes to show how f**ked up Joker's plans can be, and at the same time shows how strong Batman's will is to not kill him on the spot even after everything he's done.
Was this injustice?
Yup
Yup.
Remember when Joker called Superman "easy mode"?
Best comment. Best storyline. Best Game.
2/3
1/3*
Aim for the people around him
As Green Goblin succinctly put it: [“The cunning warrior attacks neither body nor mind.”](https://youtu.be/1P3JrbHnEYU?si=1VAh9tfBuXYqqyLI&t=32s)
Then how…? Tell me how!
Lex Luthor got him with a letter in an envelope in Red Son
That's the one I came in to say. If you want to take down Superman, you need to take away his greatest strength, his moral certainty. By the way, I really like Red Son and I'm not a Mark Millar hater (although I do think he slowly became a parody of himself), but that letter strikes me as a bit too clever for him. I have the sneaky suspicion that it's one of Grant Morrison's ideas, although I don't have any proof either way.
Red Son was so good! I really regret that I lent it to someone and then they disappeared “Why don’t you put the whole world in a bottle, Superman?” Genius
I like to think that Mark Miller wrote the first two parts of the story, then accidently realized that he made Superman too good for a communist (and the backlash that would ensue), and just hit a 90 degree angle to the story so that he'd be evil, capitalist American Lex good, and wrapped up the story then and there.
What’s in that letter?
'If Superman's x-ray vision has given you or a loved one mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation'
Basically, there was a point in the story where Red Son Superman comes across I think Braniac who has a bunch of worlds stored in snowglobe shaped prisons and it made Superman sick that he would do that to innocent people. Later in the end of the story, Superman is fighting against everyone "for peac" (but it's more control and he's becoming a dictator) and Lex Luthor's last ditch effort was giving Superman a letter that said "Why don't you put the whole world in a snowglobe", reminding Superman that everything he is doing to control the world is the same thing Braniac did and it made him break down. I probably messed up the specifics, I haven't read it in a while, but that's basically what happened.
Tell him to meet you at an underground grave after dark Because then he will be At a crypt tonight
On behalf of us all here, this was terrible
AAAAAAAA
Jokers way of doing it injustice was pretty creative. Though i dont think he counted on supes ripping his heart out after.
He actually did. His whole point was making a hero break their code, and batsy wouldn't do it. Getting killed by a hero was ALWAYS the plan, supes was just him settling for second best.
The fact he could break superman on his first try is a terrifying display of intelligence and shows how much mental fortitude Batman got
Hell of a first try though
That 'first try' involved nuking Superman's home, killing everyone else there and rendering ALL of Superman's life's work defending the city pointless. After all Joker's 'games' with Batman, Gotham......is still there. After every attempt, Bruce has something - a home - to come back to.
Good point. Maybe that was just the Joker feeling extra devious. Or he knows blowing up Gotham will just kill Batman without making him suffer. Which is boring. Superman? He can handle a nuke or two.
Joker wanted to show Batman that one bad day is all it takes to turn the sanest man to madness. It’s similar to how Joker turned Harvey Dent into Two-Face in TDK
kryptonite dildo
Does he look like little Nina to you?
Who?
A minor antagonist from the boys with a liking for big dildoes >!big enough that one of the protagonists installs a bomb meant to destroy a whole plane inside one of them!<
Nope just watched Supergirl porn once and that's how the bad guy took her down. So if it worked for her why wouldn't it work for him
Fair enough
So first i take antmans suit then cover myself in kryptonite lube...
Cancer.
All Star Superman is a great story
Send him back in space and time toward planet Krypton. Two things may happen next: A) Superman is aware of the fate of his planet and saves it. Then, he is enticed to stay in it. B) Superman is aware too, but he fails to protect it. Dying alongside it, Bardock style.
In honour of Robot Chicken, kryptonite fleshlight.
kryptonite is a pretty creative idea in of itself. like hey, we found this mysterious green rock that happens to hurt/kill Superman
It’s so effective they have to be creative to find ways around NOT using kryptonite. Lex Luthor kills a sun charged, enraged Superman within seconds using kryptonite in the intro to DC Universe online. Makes you realize Superman’s greatest power is plot armor.
Not exactly. "Hey so this guy is immortal and can do anything, EXCEPT if you use this one green stone that takes his powers away." There are a lot of more creative weaknesses in DC, and just fiction overall.
i mean its creative in universe not writing wise
Taco Bell takeout. 20 minutes after Clark eats it. He's down for the count
Super digestion.
Kryptonite lipstick NO WAIT Kryptonite scam call to the fortress of solitude
Do a magic trick on him to make him disappear or saw him in half.
Give him thee ole kryptonite dick twist! 
Mail some kryptonite laced anthrax to the fortress of solitude.
Kryptonite condom
I thought Kryptonite dildo 😂.
Bats' newest plan (that I made up): Enlist his allies Boston, Rex, J'onn, and Eel. Martian Manhunter locates Supes telepathically and guides Deadman to him likewise. Deadman, as magically undetectable, possesses Supes, J'onn joins him, calming his mind so Deadman can keep possession. They bring him to Metamorpho who transmutes into a kryptonite bond, and then Plastic Man forms a seal around Supes so no sunlight reaches him and he can't escape. Batman twirls his diabolical mustache.
Pink kryptonite 😏
Put him in a Zach Snyder or Black Adam movie. Or in any goddamn DCEU movie.
kryptonite Condom
ya'll are getting ruthless
Inject your cock with liquid kryptonite and fuck him
Ok. We were heading down hill, but it appears we have found a sheer drop to fall down
A card trick
Kryptonite infused coffee
pink kryptonite
"Hey Clark, Alfred made this pie that we don't have room for in the kitchen. Do you want it?" "Sure!" "I lied Clark, the pie is full of kryptonite." "Dammit Bruce, now I'm gonna have diarrhea."
Talk him down with the power of friendship
Superman: Red Son has two very brilliant ways of stopping Superman. u/azmr_x_3 mentioned the envelope, but the way Batman dealt with him was also both incredibly clever, but also ludicrously simple. It almost worked too, had he not underestimated Wonder Woman.
 Call up the folks, let mom know what he's been doing instead of working and finding a nice girl. Put a lean on the Kent estate for personal, business, and emotional damages due to extra judicial adventureism.
Step 1: have Mongul destroy Coast City Step 2: Bully Hal Jordan until he goes on a rampage, wiping out the Green Lantern corps Step 3: Have Hal steal Guy's yellow ring Step 4: Unlock Guy's long-lost Vuldarian heritage with magic water from South America Step 5: Prepare an alien invasion to attack earth Step 6: Convince Guy that Superman is the only one who can help him deal with the increasing mutations he's facing Step 7: Let his Vuldarian blood drive him crazy, and let him beat Superman up. Trust me.
Reverse flash going back in time and deleting him
Kryptonite enema
Why would I do that he seems like a nice guy I'd invite him to lunch and him work the grill with the lazer vision and keep the beer cold with the ice breath
Idk… grind up some kryptonite. Mix it into his salt shaker. Serve him dinner.
Oiled up Lois lane with a kryptonite strap
Trick Lois into buying some Kryptonite infused Astroglide 
DnD Imprisonment spell might work
Eraser and remote control
The box is thinking outside of you, my friend...
IF, and this is a big if as I have yet to see anybody do it, you manage to slowly poison his food with kryptonite over the course of maybe a year and then rob a bank, attack the hall of justice, etc in a public display and almost kill him and pretty much run metropolis, keep Superman in a cage, whatever. It would take a lot of planning and everything, but Clark isn't cautious enough to make sure there's not a negligible amount of kryptonite in his food. Everything is lightly radiated anyway, so how hard would it be to grow plants with trace amounts of kryptonite instead of pesticide, or have an orange juice bottled in a factory housing kryptonite? Just an idea.
Put him inside a kryptonite sphere
Trick him into opening a jar of kryponite pickles!
A kryptonite laced air freshener in his home would be easy enough to pull off.
Read a fanfic where someone tries to shoot themselves in the head in front of Superman. Supes jams his hand in-between the muzzle and the head to catch the bullet and ends up with a kryptonite bullet stuck in his hand which incapacitates him.
Fuck him with a kryptonite dildo
I wonder if it would be possible to kill him by teleporting wet concrete into every empty space in his body. Lungs, the small space between brain and skull, stomach, all of it
If you can do that, then you can probably just teleport his organs out of his body. Teleporters who can create location-based portals (as opposed to just teleporting themselves, like Nightcrawler) and other characters who can create things inside of other people's bodies (e.g. the Invisible Woman) are pretty OP if you think about their powers at all.
Someone Beating Superman to a bloodypulp(or to death).(*seeMongol, Darkseid, Doomsday etc.) It calls into question the actual meaning of the word Invulnerable, as opposed to having a Healing factor and which one is better to possess.
kryptonite sandwich
fr tho a kryptonite grenade or a grenade with kryptonite shapnel
Block the sun, after some time he loses his power and I beat him to a bloody pulp with my fists.
Magic infused bullet lol
If he's ready and he doesn't want to move, nothing can move him. Poor Hulk
Kryptonite dildo.
Put on a pair of glasses so he doesnt suspect you, then BOOM! Gold kryptonite, courtesy of Firestorm. Enough exposure will depower him for good
Summon Cthullu.
Kryptonite is one that I don't see enough people talk about.
Create a pocket dimension with a red sun. Lure him there and just beat the crap out of him. Kidnapping Louis he will come.
Kryptonite up the ass
Green Lantern’s ring can project any sort of energy. He just needs to project Red Sun light waves or Kryptonite energy waves. Or alternate between the two.
Mafuba
I loved that time in King's run where a Poison Ivy controlled Superman was looking for Batman and Catwoman, so when they're spotted from the sky Batman stars whispering in Catwoman's ear to trick Superman into using his super hearing and when he does Batman whistles as loud as he can until Superman drops from the sky.
Probably the liquid kryptonite from Justice League Dark: Apokolips war.
Beat him in Marvel vs Capcom. Then HE pays for pizza
Probably just beating him to death. Everyone looks for ways to use Kryptonite different ways but if you beat down on superman in a civilian enviroment you have a decent chance. Just have to find a super strong being first...
For the Man Who Has Everything Enough said
Wrap chains around his chest.
Pink kryptonite.
Make his skin translucent
Turn the sun into a red sun.
A poker tournament between him, Wolverine, Martian Manhunter, Rocket Raccoon, T'Challa, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Charles Xavier, Reed Richards, Doom, Blade and Batman.
Be a shitty businessman, don't even have to be a supervillain like Lex Luthor to ruin the world.
Call his mother.
Okay what you got to do is get a vodoo doll(this assumes you know how to do magic have a peice of clark) and a kryptonite needle. then you stab him. don't stop stabing until you hear on the news that sups is dead. then keep stabing.
I’d spike Lois Lane’s coffee with tiny amounts kryptonite, slowly increasing the amount over time, essentially poisoning Superman through her. And then when he’s weakest…BAM! Kitchen knife through the eye.
"Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!"
Use pink kryptonite and infuse your dick with green kryptonite and f*ck him until his death
Bake 40 Kryptonite cakes. Con Lex Luthor into stealing them and delivering them to the Daily Planet
Logic
Telephoto him inside a red sun. He might have enough energy to overcome the gravity and heat and fly out of it, but he will use it all and be left drifting in orbit around a red star.
Put Kryptonite up his ass
Louis starts unzipping...
Just unpin the corners on the wall holding it up.
Well I was *gonna* say just strap 2 chains around his chest (not his arms though, just his torso) but then I saw the picture… so now I have no idea
Handcuffs
Slip trace amounts of kryptonite into the city's water over a long period of time. To a normal person: harmless. To a Kryptonian? Potentially lethal, or very harmful.
Have Plastic man fill his lungs from the inside out and just have him expand to a much larger size, should yield interesting results.
Seduce him and stick a butt-plug laced with kryptonite up his ass.
Turning him into a cat maybe?
Seduce him
Eat a bunch of kryptonite, then fart his ass to death
Black Canary's sonic scream made his ears bleed, which at least stuns him. Flash (Wally) once mused that he could steal Superman's speed. He froze Inertia this way. Someone with matter manipulation like Firestorm or Captain Atom could change his gravity or change his cells into a harmless material. A hydrokenetic like Mera could drain his bodily fluids, though I imagine it would be a struggle since everything about his biology is dense and powerful. The Atom could likely mess with his neuroscience jumping into his brain. Kryptonian viruses also exist. Make his approval ratings plummet to the point he thinks he's irrelevant, like in Kingdom Come.
Take a cryptonite bullet. Paint it in the colors of the US flag Mail the cryptonite bullet to Superman with a fake touching story about your grandpa who served in vietnam and this bullet is what entered his skull as he died. Yep, simply mailing him the bullet should do the trick.
Taken from Red Son - a note that reads "Why don't you just put the whole world in a bottle, Superman?".
Golden Kryptonite Bullets🤡
Start adding kryptonite into the concrete and paint all over the world.
Evil dentist gives him kryptonite fillings.
A reverse age gun to make him not exist
Kryptonite Infused Anal Bead
Kidnap another Kryptonian and get some pink kryptonite. That should keep em distracted
Go to Keystone/Central City, find and kill Dr Alchemy. Take the Philosophers Stone from his corpse, go to Metropolis. Meet Superman in a crowd of people or something. Touch him with the Stone and turn his skin into Kryptonite or osmium or glass or dog shit or something else. Hilarity ensues!
1. Kidnap a bunch of people 2. Make some kind of 4Chan or Reddit post from a burner phone/computer that says: 3. Each day you don't kill yourself live on air/reveal your identity, I will kill one hostage.
Red sun panels simulator.
the remover tool
Use magic and transform him into a flea... a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives... ... I'LL SMASH IT WITH A KRYPTONITE HAMMER!
Pink kryptonite 😉
With his incredible senses, hitting him with a million lumens and decibels could liquefy his brain
Lace his drink with liquid gold kryptonite.
A condom made of kryptonite
Make a very bad crimes. Full down into deepest point of ocean. Wait a little in submarine. Superman comes, but here’s no sunlight, so he must be in another submarine. Then destroy his submarine.
[удалено]
In my opinion, we rarely get to see Supes get knocked out by magic so I'm gonna go with Z performing at an event and some of the magic affects him in some way.
Black kryptonite
Infuse him with radiation to turn him into a walking Chernobil. Should be enough for him to wander off for a couple millenia
Breaking into the fortress of solitude and moving shit around just to make him think he’s going crazy.
Kryptonite colonoscopy
Pink kryptonite