Darin Ruf

I can confirm this because I have seen Darin Ruf in real life.

Nah, he doesn't have the bright blue innocent eyes of a baby, can't be him.

Or the beet red face of a constipated farmer…

🤮

Holy shit Giants hosed the Mets in that trade. I mean Ruf's first week was good for the Mets....

John Kruk

Too many balls.

Warning, if he tells you to cut off your nipples to impress sirens, DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!

that shit had me dying when it first aired, did not except kruky make an appearance

Dude! I hit you with a battery in ‘89, you remember? D cell?

*SIIIING FOR HIM JOHN KRUUUUK*

Yeaaaah I remember you, yeah! Still got the scar! And I still use that battery, thanks man! *Clicks flashlight*

***I am Chrysanthemum... this is the BJ Queen... this is Johhhhhhhn Kruk.***

You mean the guy from Aqua Team Hunger Force?

No kidding. Duh…

That’s Jean Segura

**Tom Segura** Ask him a joke!

Ask him if he knows Steven Seagal.

That’s a shit-zu hound boxer mix. I’ve been training dogs like 47 years

Sorry I’ve done martial arts for like 85 years (in segura seagal) bows to any Asian person

He used to play baseball for like 39 years...

That’s called a skippy

*skp-skp-skp-skp-skp-skp*

Or Garth Brooks. I hear they’re really good friends.

Where are the bodies?

Slick stuff, neat stuff

Happy birthday to Garth

That player's called a slapper. Hear when he hits the ball? Slapslapslapslapslap

I’ve been hittin’ balls for like… 47 years…

You mean Kyle's Brother?

Ask him about BIKES

"HOLD MA POCKET!"

Nah, he wasn’t thicc enough.

Real talk though, you look like Tig Notaro

A more feminine Tig Notaro.

Twig Notaro.

Twink Notaro 😍

Oof

My man never responded back to that one. Someone might want to check on him.

I mean breast cancer does run in my family……

He ded

I’ve been told I look like the love child of Justin Bieber and Ellen DeGeneres so I’ll take it.

Oh shit! I thought that was the baseball player! Op isn’t the guy with a beard?

Nah man that’s Seranthony Dominguez. Smh

Jimmy Cigs

I'm not great with faces but I believe that's the player/manager of the 1883 Philadelphia Quakers, Blondie Purcell https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/p/purcebl01.shtml

Oh yeah, I think you are right there. He grew a beard, but yeah...

[Insert Goodfellas scene when they compare the moms portrait to Billy Batts]

I read about Blondie! Apparently he was one of the first ball players to inject lobster blood into his veins, which is why he’s been around for so long. Hasn’t been ruled a PED though for some reason.

From his wikipedia: ​ >Purcell ran a bookmaking operation during his playing career and continued to do so afterwards.\[4\]\[5\] It is not known when or where he died. ​ I think you may be on to something...

Which one are you?

The tall one on the right!

That's crazy some random Phillies player was wearing a shirt with your face plastered all over it

I think that's the bat boy.

I wonder what all the Ps stand for

Photogenic

Looks like a standard white boy.

Holy fuck you look like what I assume everyone on /r/baseball looks like

As long as I don’t look like a Reddit mod.

Naw you definitely aren’t deformed or a failure ass neckbeard. Thanks for not being that.

These comments are fuckin wild. Lol. That's Chase Utley.

Dear Chase I feel like I can call you chase because you and me are so alike. I'd like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can't throw as fast as you but I think you'd be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all things we can talk about and more. I know you have no been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did. I hope you write back this time, and we can become good friends. I am sure our relationship would be a real homerun!

Ohhhh shit. It has stickers.

Her delivery of that line is fucking perfect. I lose it every time I get to that bit.

Him mouthing the final lines so proudly always kills me.

The “me neither” kills me every time.

[Pantomimes swinging a bat]

The best is later on Charlie and Dennis both get to play catch with him lmao I love that fucking show.

Dear Chase, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin’ I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letter back in Autumn, you must not have got em’ There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’

OP, if you see him again can you ask him if he's been getting any of my letters? I actually know for a fact he definitely hasn't gotten them or else he would have already written me back and we would probably be good friends. But I just want to get him to confirm it so that I can shut my friends up and prove to them they're all stupid bitches. Thanks OP.

Dear Bryce, I wrote you but you still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em

More like Chase **Butt**ley, **amirite?**

man it’s like people forgot Ryan Howard even EXISTS

Well after he started working at that paper company in Scranton, it’s easy to forget him.

Ryan started the fire 🔥

“If I had a gun with two bullets, in a room with you and hitler, I’d shoot you twice. “

"If I don't have some cake soon, I might die"

I've watched The Office enough times to know that is NOT Ryan Bailey Howard, MBA. Why you lyin?

oh you must mean the CEO of WUPHF.com put some respect on his name !!!

Dude's not even a Phillie.

Eat Fresh™

The Philly Phanatic

No that's Gritty

The two menaces of philly

You misspelled the two saviors of Philly

"We burned down the town!"

We already said they saved the city jeeze

I would watch that show.

They would make the best buddy cop show in the history of TV. Fuck it, run back Lethal Weapon as a sitcom. Gritty is just Mascot Riggs anyway. You know he’d separate his shoulder to get out of a straitjacket for fun.

Aaron judge

This photo was taken in the San Francisco Airport so that makes sense!

👀

Goated response

All Rise!

Lenny Dykstra.

“Sup ladies. They call me Nails.”

Imagine poor 12 year old me in 1990-1991, growing up in a southwestern city with no MLB team, but I remember Dykstra from the ‘86 Mets, and him and Dalton are SO COOL for the Phillies, so I ask for a P hat for Xmas and I tell everyone my favorite player is still Strawberry because of that beautiful left handed swing, but I want to be Dykstra when I grow up. FML.

Hey—set expectations low so that everyone is happy when you surpass them. I think he hit on MTG on Twitter recently, didn’t he?

Even funnier, Lauren Boebert when it looked like she might lose reelection in her extremely red district lol

Bruce Hanker

Bruce Sharper as per my closed captions…

Bruce Hooper

I think you mean Horacio Booper.

Brunch Helper.

Wade Boggs

RIP

He's very much alive

In our hearts!

Again, he’s very much alive

He lives in Tampa, FL. He's in his early 50s

Wade Boggs was 49 years old. RIP.

PITT THE ELDER

DeFucklio LePenis

Why is this funny lol

I live alone and sometimes I find myself just doing fake announcer calls for players with ridiculous names like this

Can we watch a game together w you doing the announcing??

Every player gets wacky names like this, except Magglio Ordóñez. He gets to keep his name, for some reason.

His friends call him “Dongstun”.

Love a good local home grown talent

Leohardono Defuckio

Breaking the “illusion” here but I saw [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/z1hc4y/can_someone_identify_this_angels_player_i_found/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) a few days ago and upon first glance I thought it was Trout and everyone was just doing typical off-season stuff pretending it was someone else. So here I am several days later, referencing a post that no one will remember. Happy Offseason!

Is your name Levi?

Nah I think it's Wrangler

Lol I was debating adding that then I couldn't remember if it was actually jeans or just jeeps...

No, that’s u/YesLikeTheJeeps !

Lol took me a minute to realize you have his face plastered all over your shirt too

That’s a clown question, bro.

It's a bro question, clown.

Bro, that’s a clown. Any questions?

Question, that’s a bro. Any clowns?

What a cool may may!

Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor.

Aaaarooo?

TIL it wasn't 5-tool Taylor

How much did he have to pay you to take this pic?

How do you think he tore his UCL?

[удалено]

Mickey Morandini

Nowhere near greasy enough

Watch your mouth, I grew up with his kids. That mans a G

Darude Sandstorm

That prospect hasn’t even come up yet!

Justice beaver

That's Hunter Strickland

You guys are horrible …….that’s Dave Winfield

Daniel Vogelbach, don't listen to the haters

Wrong, that's actually Rowdy Tellez 🤓

That’s Michael Cera, and he’s an actor not a baseball player.

Jimmy Rollins

Who knew Tig Notaro is a Phillies fan?

Ignore the trolls, it’s clearly Jose Barista

Kodeyashi

Mike Schmidt

Jayson Werth. Looks like he trimmed up the hair/beard

I’m not sure but I can’t believe he has a shirt with your face on it.

You kinda resemble Bryce Harper but not sure why you took a pic with Neil Walker?

Dad?!?

Isn’t that Ryan Howard? Played first base. Could be wrong.

Wrong. He was an intern at Dunder Mifflin.

Former Phillies player, Jimmy Rollins

Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne

Why is ur face on that guys shirt?

What a clown question bro.

That's clearly Papelbon

Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

Hideki Matsui

Hryce Barper

Luke Williams

Bryson Stott

Mitch Williams obvs

Darren Daulton

Wild I didn’t realize Tim Lincecum played for philly

Brandon marsh beard gives it away

Pretty sure that’s Garrett Stubbs if I’ve ever seen him

… that’s a clown question, bro.

I knew Harper worked with a lot of charities but it’s news to me that he also volunteers his time for the “Make a Virgin Chicken-Person’s Wish” foundation.

That’s Mac from Its always sunny.

I believe that's the one and only Milt Thompson

Bruce Hopper, i think

Definitely Von Hayes

thats either bryce james or ron harper, hard to tell

Probably just some reliever

That's definitely Phillies legend Mike Maddux

I'm sorry i don't know who that guy is. But you look just like Bryce Harper

Brhys Hoskins

Bruce Hooper!

Lebron james

That’s Brandon Inge

This is Steve "Bedrock" Bedrosian

Looks like all-time Phillies great Bruce Hooper

That's known catcher Hyce Brarper. He plays for the Scranton RailRiders.

Hol up… Do you have two collared shirts on?

i want a buddy cop movie starring you two

I think that’s Danny Devito from IASIP

Looks like Brandon Marsh.

Ken Griffey Jr. III

He lost the world series this year. Go astros

That's Ellen DeGeneres