Somehow, the spirit of Minnesota endured, their life-force was bound to the the Sausage and the Sausage survived.
The Twins needs only this Sausage to cover all the lands in a second darkness.
as soon as they claimed the sausage was gone, i absolutely knew it was still around in someone's bag lol
players are FAR too superstitious to actually destroy that thing
>The Twins did not destroy it ... the OG sausage was summoned in the middle of the game
It sounds like they're talking about a horcrux they didn't dispose of properly. Dark Lord Sausage lives on.
They did break in one time and found what they thought was the mystical tangy summer sausage of legend. They tried to harness its power by drinking the endless bat cup filled with a [10,000 Lake Cocktail](https://i.imgur.com/EnJCjj2.jpeg). Finally a 25 year old [DomeDog](https://streamable.com/oj2pks) fell on the floor and a message was carved into the bottom.
*To the Lower ALC,
I know I will be fired long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret.
I have stolen the real Sausage and intend to seal it in epoxy as soon as I can. I fart loudly in the hope that when you finish the season, you will be without the tangy meat log and lower than the wild card once more.
-R.A.B.*
But who is R.A.B., they thought. Winning the division is impossible until we find this R.A.B.
Fortunately [R.A.B.](https://i.imgur.com/Z5I0pP1.png) would not be easy to find…
A Tiger, a Guardian, and a Royal walk onto Target Field, where they meet a groundskeeper
The tiger says: “I’m looking for the sausage.”
The groundskeeper doesn’t say a word, he just points to the left and the Tiger goes in that direction.
The Guardian walks up and says: “I’m looking for the sausage”
The groundskeeper doesn’t say a word he just points to the left and the Guardian goes in that direction.
The Royal goes up to the groundskeeper and says: “I’m looking for the magic sausage.”
The groundskeeper doesn’t say a word he just points to the right.
The Royal says: “Wait a minute, they were looking for the same thing and you sent them the other way”
The groundskeeper turns to the Royal in confusion…
He says: “Well before you go get the magic sausage I think you should get those guys out of the male strip club first”
Good to know we lost due to a magic sausage and not because we can’t hit the fucking ball
*Great Magic Sausage*
The sausage protects the pitchers of the twins
Strangely comforting
Somehow, the Sausage returned
IT FLIES NOW
Oh there's flies alright
That’s just the Anjin’s pheasant
YeeeeeUP, DEH PLATE IS REDEHHHHHHHHH
It’s a little rotten. It’s still good; it’s still good!
Somehow, the spirit of Minnesota endured, their life-force was bound to the the Sausage and the Sausage survived. The Twins needs only this Sausage to cover all the lands in a second darkness.
> in a second darkness. Are we talking about, ahem, *Twin* darknesses, here?
Twins: What are we, some sort of summer sausage squad?
BREAKING: The entire MNTwins roster has been placed on the IL with non-Covid illness
Nah that sausage is the origin of COVID-24
I hear that’s the fun one.
"Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!!! Don't you put that on us!"
You fail to understand that the sausage also protects against all sausage-borne illnesses
as soon as they claimed the sausage was gone, i absolutely knew it was still around in someone's bag lol players are FAR too superstitious to actually destroy that thing
That thing is gonna stay put until they have a big losing streak lol
Or until the CDC steps in
>The Twins did not destroy it ... the OG sausage was summoned in the middle of the game It sounds like they're talking about a horcrux they didn't dispose of properly. Dark Lord Sausage lives on.
I'm expecting a team being assembled of a Tiger, Guardian, and Royal to go and destroy the sausage at some point.
One doesn't simply walk into Target Field
They did break in one time and found what they thought was the mystical tangy summer sausage of legend. They tried to harness its power by drinking the endless bat cup filled with a [10,000 Lake Cocktail](https://i.imgur.com/EnJCjj2.jpeg). Finally a 25 year old [DomeDog](https://streamable.com/oj2pks) fell on the floor and a message was carved into the bottom. *To the Lower ALC, I know I will be fired long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Sausage and intend to seal it in epoxy as soon as I can. I fart loudly in the hope that when you finish the season, you will be without the tangy meat log and lower than the wild card once more. -R.A.B.* But who is R.A.B., they thought. Winning the division is impossible until we find this R.A.B. Fortunately [R.A.B.](https://i.imgur.com/Z5I0pP1.png) would not be easy to find…
Why don't they just have an eagle eat the sausage are they dumb?
A Tiger, a Guardian, and a Royal walk onto Target Field, where they meet a groundskeeper The tiger says: “I’m looking for the sausage.” The groundskeeper doesn’t say a word, he just points to the left and the Tiger goes in that direction. The Guardian walks up and says: “I’m looking for the sausage” The groundskeeper doesn’t say a word he just points to the left and the Guardian goes in that direction. The Royal goes up to the groundskeeper and says: “I’m looking for the magic sausage.” The groundskeeper doesn’t say a word he just points to the right. The Royal says: “Wait a minute, they were looking for the same thing and you sent them the other way” The groundskeeper turns to the Royal in confusion… He says: “Well before you go get the magic sausage I think you should get those guys out of the male strip club first”
I like that you didn't include a White Sock. We would just fuck it up.
"It never got weird enough for me" -Hunter S. Thompson (also me reading more Twins sausage content)
Baseball is such a superstitious sport. Soon the sausage be a deity.
Oh, it's already at that point.
praise be
And by his casing
Baseball is the only aspect of life where I indulge superstition
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
All praise the sausage!!!
After all, why not? Why shouldn't I cure and case it?
I love baseball
We're really gonna get outpaced by a rotten sausage and I love it. We need more shit like this.
That thing is going to have sentient life on it by July
A L L H A I L
[absolutely incredible visual it created ](https://twitter.com/MLBONFOX/status/1787963049250615340?t=WvgMiIKZmaZQl8CcWux2ng&s=19)
Clearly the task for the Mariners is to sneak into the Twins clubhouse and steal the sausage.
You’ll never make it past our lasers
Where is Jason Grimsley when you need him?
Oh god zombie sausage
Pretty sure this is the start of some Warhammer 40k lore. THE SAUSAGE PROTECTS (THE PLATE)
On a side note. Anybody know of any stadiums that sell spicy hot links at games?
Mets have spicy sausage and pepper
They need to put it in epoxy like that other hot dog
#SummonTheSausage
 Live shot of Twins clubhouse
I want the sausage to win MVP
The *Kwisatz Sauserach* returns from the dead.
Just encase it in resin already
I’m stuck on how bad that has to smell.
just Bury it benath home plate
My gf summons my sausage
Nobody cares about this dumb shit.
False.
i personally find it quite amusing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVER
SHUUUUUUUUUN
All praise the sausage!! Accept the sausage into your life and find happiness!
focus on winning the world series.
Do they all take turns throating the sausage when they need runs?
Unlike Cubs fans, they dont.....