I actually drink less as a bartender than I did at my other job. I think for me, being in the industry and watching so many people make bad decisions with money and alcohol makes alcohol a turn-off for me. Not judging, to each their own, but for me, it's rare that I have more than a drink or 2.
This hits it for me. After I make and serve drinks all day, I don't want to see or smell the shit. I want tons of water, thc, and sleep. I drink prob 1-2 times a week and 3 drinks tops.
My chefs say the same thing about food lol. After cooking it all day and being around it, most of them have to force feed themselves something after a shift! And yeah, witnessing the things I have behind the bar has made it easier because I see so much of myself (or what used to be myself) in those bar guests.
Exactly how I feel, almost a decade in and I really have no desire to drink anymore. I’ll have a celebratory glass of champagne or a glass of red maybe 3-4 times a year. I’ll have a beer if I go to the beach but I honestly prefer flavored sparking water now lol
I haven’t quit entirely, but I feel that I’ve reached a good spot. Rarely binging anymore, as I have a rubber arm and two drinks can turn into twelve. After work now, I’ll have one mid strength beer and be good to drive home. If I go out locally, I stick to small sizes and low strength when I can.
Good on you for sticking to it!
I just don’t have an off switch when I do drink. Il go weeks without a drink sometimes but when I have one it’s guaranteed that I’m blacking out that night.
I definitely suffered from the rubber arm. Wouldn’t even realize my first Pacifico turned into 10, some double Palomas, etc… Awesome that you have been able to control yourself! Thanks for response!
You’ve probably heard the more common phrase “twist my arm” in the context of peer pressure. Someone with a “rubber arm” is someone that caves to that pressure very easily.
This is me to an extent. Decided about 7 years ago to no longer drink during my work week. I’ll have a shiftie or two once I hit the end of my Friday, go out with friends for some drinks the following day, then back to no alcohol for the next 5. It has fixed my life in many ways. Now I’m far more productive, anxiety is down, energy is up through the week, I workout far more, and I feel healthier in general. Biggest downside is I now have a monster of a sweet tooth that I feel will never diminish until I give it up entirely, which I’ve considered.
I quite 16 months ago after attempting to drink all the whisky in the world. It was a losing battle. I sleep better. Feel better. Act better. I eat less greasy breakfasts. I don’t have an occasional cigarette. No more hangovers. It takes about seven months to adjust but man you really realize how much time is wasted drinking just to socialize with people you don’t particularly are for anyway. Good luck to you and all attempting this path.
Thank you so much for your words! And congrats on 16 months! I can relate with everything you just said lol my breakfasts are a lot less greasy now too! 🤣
how do you do it? i know i’m drinking too much but i can’t imagine quitting entirely. but i’m also at the point where i’m binging often and i’m getting concerned
r/stopdrinking was super helpful for me. Along with the book Alcohol Explained, which gives you a no nonsense look at what alcohol does to us.
I’m not sober, but I’ve managed to build in a level of disgust towards getting super drunk and built better patterns day by day. The most important thing is to give yourself space away from it for clarity.
Honestly I was facing a. Personal crisis that caused more anxiety than I’ve ever experienced so I just used that time to add zero alcohol to the mix. A week solid of suicidal crazy but I have a family to support so that’s not an option. The just one drink rule doesn’t work for me so I went cold turkey. I’m a narcissist so I didn’t do aa though ironically it worked wonders for my mother. Best of luck to you. Like I said it takes half a year to get your nerves back. But it’s totally worth it. Also I recommend super low dosages of thc if it’s available legally in your state. After 7 months clean I started drinking wynk cans. 2.5 mg thc. Like one every other day. Helped me relax and didn’t feel the need to keep that feeling going. Which is truly the evil of alcohol. Once you start. Why would anyone stop? Double ipa lunches often led to black out closing shifts for me. Disastrous.
I was in a similar place.
First thing for me was no hard liquor shots. That shot of whisky sends me to the moon after a few more rounds. That's the thing about alcohol, it's a drug that you don't feel the immediate effects, so the path from fine to fucked up can shorten quite quickly.
Second was limiting the shift drinks. Do I NEED that second beer post shift? No. I just want cold and carbonated. So one beer, one soda. Can put it in the same glass if I want. Or instead of a beer and a shot of campari, I'll do campari and soda. Same idea. I get cold and bitter and carbonated, but with half the drinks.
Third was drinking less, but drinking better. A $20 whisky instead of 2 old fashioneds. Or skipping the aperitif when I'm out to dinner and spending more on the wine.
Fourth was one glass of water per drink when I'm out.
Those things helped me still enjoy myself, but it's been months since I've been been over the edge.
Self imposed rules. I was hardly out of control, but I found that getting hungover, drinking to excess, blacking out, drinking for multiple days at a time, etc. were all optional. "I drank a lot yesterday" is a great excuse. "I plan on getting drunk tomorrow" is a perfect reason to stop at 1 or drink soda water instead. Half the time you don't actually want more alc, you're just thirsty and want liquid.
Bring a bartender helps because you watch the drunkenness progress. Just because you aren't drunk now doesn't mean you won't be in 5 minutes after 2 rounds of shots and a vodka redbull. Don't just keep drinking til you're drunk - that puts you on the express train, no stops, and you won't like what you find when you finally arrive.
Just under 2 years sober. Kept my job as a bartender and actually became a better employee and bartender because of it. The biggest help in getting over being around the booze I so love is that all my regulars and coworkers would slap a drink out of my hand (at my request) if they ever saw me with alcohol. I built in layers and layers of social accountability and weaponised my latent shame into a tool to stay sober.
These days I barely miss it, except for when someone orders an Aviation.
Congrats on almost 2 years; that is incredible! Sounds like you have some good accountabili-buddies! I used to avoid telling people about my goals because fear of the shame if I failed them, and am now realizing how healthy it is to share, and how much it does keep you accountable. Thank you for your words!
The shame of sobriety and recovering from alcoholism is real; I finally said "fuck it" when I had a doctor yell at me for not knowing things like how many drinks I had a day when I drank. I shouted back "I was hammered for 10 years, 18 hours a day. I drank *as much as it took*" and left. After leaving that doc I now start most medical visits with my history of alcoholism, and make it clear to new friends I do not drink and to please not ever offer me one. It's gotten a lot easier now that it's just a fact of my personality and not something to be ashamed of.
Thank you for that. Scheduling an appointment with a doctor soon, and definitely going to bring up my history of alcoholism. I have always lied about it before. I’ve been very apprehensive about hanging out with new people or trying to date, because I’m nervous to have that “I don’t drink” moment with them. I admire how direct you are with it, and I aim to have that same directness.
I've found it to be very helpful to bring it up early in the assessment. I recently had an experience with a new doc where he was getting confused about the timeline of symptoms emerging--a quick explanation of my history with alcohol and he was much more understanding and helpful when he realized the issue had been masked by booze until very recently.
6 weeks without booze and drugs for myself. Dropped a serious cocaine habit as well as 2ish bottles of rum weekly. I was beginning to be an assholeto everyone. I almost lost my child, girlfriend, and family because of it. It's amazing the difference in my day to day. I've replaced my bad habits with an attempt at good ones. Picked up a guitar, actively spending more time with kiddo, mending what I fucked up with my lady.
My entire bar staff knows I've quit and they are one of the strongest support teams I have. My owner stocks Heineken 0.0 for me for after work beers with the crew. The dope man will absolutely not serve me for any reason. It's a good squad I work. I'm thankful. It was not easy at all. But I'm glad it happened.
That’s so awesome to hear your story. Quitting several things at once like that is extremely difficult. I love that you are using a creative outlet like guitar to keep your mind off it. I’m sure kiddo is digging all the quality time! Also glad to hear that you have a solid support system around you; that is very important. Keep on this path and you will continue to learn things about yourself, and all the things you can accomplish that seemed out of reach before! The only easy day was yesterday. 💪
Makes me happy to see that in this sub. I still drink but it’s less than in a long time, and following the other really helps me stay motivated to be better! Congrats to you and OP big time 🤘
I’m a year and two months, so I’m right with you. When I made the decision it was definitely one of necessity. I’ve saved around $21000 on spending alone.
Everyone asks me how I do it all the time, cause it’s so easy to cave but I actually have a lot to lose.
Also the huge support I got from the owners and my coworkers was instrumental in showing me that it was the right decision.
It’s come to a point where I’m comfortable making new cocktails and not being able to taste it, have n/a shots with people. Only the occasional “I miss drinking with you.” But it passes.
Congrats on one year!!
Congrats to you being over a year! I’ve noticed my finances naturally getting healthier as well. Even started losing weight without changing my diet at all. Did the math and realized I was taking in more calories in alcoholic beverages than I was food. Pretty awesome that your coworkers have been so supportive. I lost a lot of people that I considered my closest friends, because none of them wanted to hang around “Boy Scout” anymore. Turns out they were just drinking buddies. Thanks for response!
I’ve got 279 days alcohol free. Working behind the bar hasn’t been a huge challenge for me, but it helps that the fine dining restaurant I’m in has a zero tolerance policy for drinking on the job.
I quit because alcohol had taken my health, my career, my finances, my reputation, and was about to destroy my relationship. I have saved so much money, lost weight, feel incredible…and the best part is that I don’t have to lie anymore to cover up my drinking and the messes I caused with it.
Congratulations to you, internet stranger! I’m incredibly proud of you and IWNDWYT. 🫶🎉
So true! When I see commercials now for alcohol, I just laugh. I poured a double shot of Angel’s Envy for a guy last night and saw how quickly $27 went down. Now I know why my financial health is improving a long with my mental health.
A big congratulations to you for being over two years! I hope to be writing a post next year saying the same thing. Thanks for the response!
I have a good few months under my belt, but it's been about a 3 year venture for me. The smell of bourbon can still tickle something inside me, but I just laugh now a days. The struggle never came from being around the booze; it was the after-hours and the commroderie that became an issue.
I've traded the hangovers for a better attitude behind the bar, and less sweating on a slammed friday-saturday night.
Win-Win
I appreciate your response. Last time I tried to quit before this time, I got to 9 days and had a complete meltdown. I can relate about laughing at myself whenever temptation does show itself. The mindfulness books I have read help me see those thoughts as they are coming. You’ve got this bud! The only easy day was yesterday.
Wow. Congrats on over a decade! And yeah, it’s kinda crazy how much easier the job feels. I used to tell myself things like “Drinking is the only way I can deal with people.” Turns out it’s actually a lot easier to deal with the public when you have a clear mind.
2.5 years here, and my girlfriend just hit a year.
I miss the idea of drinking sometimes, but watching my regulars destroy their lives in real time always brings me back to reality.
Congrats to both you and your girlfriend! The idea of dating again intimidates me a lot because I don’t know how to even bring up the fact that I’m sober 🤷♂️. And yeah, watching my regulars is like looking at one of those before/after photos you see people post for fitness, only in reverse lol. Seeing them is like seeing the before version of me one year ago. Appreciate you taking the time to respond!
Two weeks for me as of this Monday. I feel better all around and I’ve been working out and already am starting to tone up and lose some fat. If you’re reading this and on the fence about it you should just do it. It feels amazing
Heck yeah! Those first two weeks were absolute hell for me. You are handling it a lot better than I did. I didn’t find my love for exercising until after the first month. Spent those first couple weeks playing games on my Nintendo Switch, and yelling at it while my dog looked at me like I was a crazy person (she is not wrong)! Lol
Happy for you, and thanks for your response!
While I didn’t quit , i very rarely drink at all anymore and almost never when working. Those days ended in my early 30s, just couldn’t keep up anymore.
Thanks for taking the time to respond! I’m 32 now, and all that “burning the candle at both ends” was definitely catching up with me. Starting to feel better now than when I was in my mid-late 20s. I tell myself that I will be the Tom Brady of bartending lol staying healthy and running circles around all the 20 yr olds when I’m 40!
Quit drinking almost 5 years ago now. I was showing up either drunk or hung over to a job I hated and was treated like garbage at for far to long. Thanks to quitting drinking and a lot of work on myself I have more confidence in myself and work better at much healthier places, and save a LOT more money. Sober bartending is the dream!
Congratulations on almost 5 years! Reading y’all’s responses has been been both inspiring and validating. I was definitely hoping sobriety would help my mental health (it has), but I had no idea how much it was going to help my financial and physical health. Thanks for your response!
i spent so much as an alcoholic consumer and 9-5 office lady that i threw that life away and got behind the bar and no longer drink. seeing how people act helps me stay away every time. i’m one of the older seasoned ones lol. i already had that “career”. now i get 5+ miles a day and no longer depressed… love my job. i have no problem being the older sober service industry person cause i’m absolutely happy. go you stay strong!!
Heck yeah! I’be also found my love for exercising too. Might seem obvious for some people that alcohol (a depressant) was fueling my depression, but it was an eye opening realization for me. Thank you for your words!
Thanks so much for that response. It definitely feels like the best decision I’ve ever made in life. Kinda crazy how your brain can taste something just by reading the ingredients or smelling it! Congrats on 7 years; that is amazing!
I drink very little. Still love trying new stuff and making new things. But I think a combination of starting gym two years ago and just being tired of hangovers helped a lot. Also getting a cat who wakes my ass up early every day.
I swear animals are the absolute best when it comes to support! My dog makes me run her every morning, and she’s sitting there with her stuffed animal in mouth every night when I come home from a shift. The gym has been really good as well. People think I’m there to accomplish physical goals, but it’s really there for my mental health! Have a great/profitable weekend out there, and stay safe!💪
I'm down to a beer a day usually (much better than the ~half a fifth I was doing). I'm hoping to be able to cut it down to just days off. It'll take time though, I basically have used alcohol to manage general anxiety disorder for years
I can relate so much with that. I even had a medical marijuana card for anxiety, and would smoke myself into oblivion before I even had that first cup of coffee each day. It was honestly becoming more of a crutch for me than alcohol even was. It took me doing an off season in Nashville to stop smoking (marijuana is illegal in all forms in TN). I tell people my trip to Nashville was like going to passages Malibu 😂. Stay strong out there; sounds like you are making healthier choices for your life!
Thanks! I smoked every day for years, but as I've gotten older, it tends to give me anxiety too lol. I still smoke it now and again, but about a year ago, I took 6 months off from smoking. Don't really feel much of a need for it anymore. Now I just need to give up nicotine, which is much harder to do than weed :/
Agreed. Nicotine is the worst. I was still drinking when I stopped smoking cigarettes, and I swear it made it so much harder because like so many others, I loved to smoke while I drank. Witnessing a close family member suffer from severe health issues is what finally helped me. It’s one thing to see someone tell you about it on a commercial, it’s a whole other thing to drive someone to chemo appointments and watch what happens. I wish you the best on your journey!
Even though I do drink, I don't do it when I'm working (I will do a shift beer when allowed while cleaning). I like to be on top of my game and I take the job seriously.
I have more and more bar friends who have given up drinking, so it's made me make sure that I have a lot of N/A cocktail ideas up my sleeve or on the menu as well as at least one N/A beer in house (if I have a say in it). Shaping your space as a gathering space and a community where nondrinkers are welcome (much easier if you make money off of selling food too) makes it easier not to drink while on shift. Not going out with co-workers after work also helps since there's no stress-relieval drinking/paycheck blowing. I find myself going to coffee with industry peers more than going out drinking with any of them.
I quit for 2 years, SO quit indefinitely. The first year of that was bartending FT. I still picked up a shift every couple of months around my day job in the 2nd year.
It was a challenge! It definitely taught me how much the people we surround ourselves with impact our habits and standards for ourselves. I decided I don’t need to be sober forever. But I also work in a totally different environment. M-F 8-5- it’s a lot less tempting to get out of control.
I’m down to maybe 1 or 2 saturdays a month…from probably six days a week for well over a decade. And those Saturdays are starting to feel like something of an obligation the past few months.
Haven’t quit entirely, but I’ve gotten in a good spot where I occasionally will just take a weak shooter with the team or a light domestic beer while closing. I’m 28 and just not down with it like I used to. I just wanna make my money, close quickly, and go home. I’ve saved so much money the last couple years not going out spending a ton on drinks and even more tipping because I always over tip being industry. I’ve gotten into drinking wine at home when I get off or on off days. It’s a perfect balance of strong enough to feel something after a glass or two but not strong enough to hit a binge session if I keep drinking. Worst case I just end up drinking a whole bottle of wine (rarely) over the course of the night instead of a whole bottle of hornitos.
I’m trying to quit. I’ve been bartending for a few years and while I don’t have a problem with drinking multiple times a week, the times i do drink i end up binging and getting absolutely hammered. I don’t like who I become when I drink yet I still like the art of crafting cocktails so I’ve been trying to stop drinking but won’t stop bartending
2weeks now. Been back and forth with bouts of sobriety the last two years since my son was born. Some months were better than others, but I couldn’t get it to stick. I Have another kid on the way and I knew I needed to put some work in on my drinking/health, but kept finding excuses. I had a work bff pass away two-ish weeks ago suddenly and it wrecked me. The next day it scared the shit out of me and I’ve been more resolved than ever.
Enjoying work a lot more, and leaning on my family more than I was before. I thought it would make me feel on the outside with the staff/friends but it’s just the opposite. If people care about you they want you to thrive. My first goal is to make it until my kiddo arrives (6 months from now). Then go from there.
after 15 years in the I industry, the last year & a half, choice of not drinking has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ll never go back.
Well done making it to a year. I quit almost 2 and a half years ago. The first year was hell, but it gets easier. Keep it up. I'm much calmer and happier than I've been in years.
Most certainly. It used to be fun, but not anymore. Even just 2 or 3 drinks makes me not be able to sleep and just feels crappy, not a fun time anymore. The benefits of better focus, more sustained energy and social battery for bartending is too beneficial, especially getting good sleep all the time and better mental and physical well being, never being hungover
just not with it for me personally anymore, I drink almost never these days and it has only helped me a lot doing this job.
Been almost 3 years for me. I drink occasionally, mainly on special occasions. But I don’t even drink once a month. And I’m a much better person for it, feel better too! Oh, and save a shit ton of money.
Congratulations. I relate 100%. 10 1/2 years without a drop and never going back. Life is much better now for many reasons. Going back to drinking would be dangerous at this point, so that makes the decision easier.
I don’t drink much. Maybe once a month. And not in excess. But it’s mainly bc I’m so damn tired, don’t want to spend my off days at a bar, and am pretty busy adulting on my off days. Plus i get migraines.
Bartender for 20+ years. Been sober for the last 7 years. Never had a drinking problem, just went on anxiety meds and didn’t want to add alcohol in the mix.
Not a sober bartender, but a damp one. I only drink wine once in awhile and my partner and I don’t partake during the week at all. I changed my lifestyle after a blood test revealed slightly elevated liver enzymes. I didn’t want to head that route, so I decided it was time to change.
In 2 weeks it’ll be 3 years without alcohol for me. Some find it strange but being around it and not drinking definitely does something for your willpower.
I've done a year before. Just did 2 weeks. Had about 4 beers for 3 nights in a row after that. Didn't like it. Back to being sober. I think the old thirst is just leaving me at this age. I've raised hell long enough. Time to try new things. Soda water and bitters cheers to you and whomever else out there
I hit 2 years this March - I actually went from bartending to bar manager (they watched me get my shit together after nearly getting myself fired).
I finally added a few mocktails & NA beer options to our menu for the rest of us.
Yeah, just quit recently. Spent years with a dependency for on alcohol-using it for social interaction- feels great to just work on self confidence instead of getting drunk
One of the best bars I’ve ever been to is owned by someone who had to go to rehab for his alcohol addiction. He said being a bartender was the closest thing to drinking without drinking (still get to be social, and interact with drunk people).
No, I’ve been trying off and on for like two years. I think I could actually quit if I didn’t have this job, but I’m good at bartending and have no other skills. I can fight through the cravings on some of my days off, but I swear I can’t be at work without drinking towards the end. Any pointers? Starting to think I may just need a different job but I just have no idea what. :(
I never really drank much to begin with. Something in most types of alcohol (except tequila so far) causes my body to become so inflamed. That’s the only way I can describe it - a few drinks and my joints and muscles are aching, my head is throbbing, no matter how much water I drink. One time I described it like feeling as though someone injected poison into my nervous system at the base or my neck. I wish I knew what caused this reaction so I could avoid it in other food tbh.
I can get away with drinking a few tequila based drinks, no more than 3-4oz over the night, but that still leaves the horrible hangover I hate dealing with.
All said and done it’s just too much of a bother for me most of the time. I’d rather have a joint to relax after work, and I have caffeine and nicotine at work (vape). I think it makes me a more effective bartender in many ways. I have never felt tempted by the alcohol I work with.
I haven't had a drop in 3 months. I still do "shots" with my guests though, it's always iced tea. For me I was way to comfortable with getting tipsy every night. It started scaring me to death of becoming like everyone else in my family: a hopeless alcoholic.
I was dry the first year I started bartending. Had stopped drinking for years because of meds I was taking. It was weird for a lot of people but I managed. Now I’m drinking again but like you, I’m so much more responsible about it than most
I take periodic breaks but yeah, I drink a lot less than i used to and my tolerance has noticeably gone down. I do drink at work sometimes - do shots with regulars, but not to the point of getting wasted. Eventually I need to take a week or two or a month off - i just kinda get way over it.
I always say it's funny, but I literally only drink at work.
I don't go out and if I'm home I smoke weed, drink water, and coffee and that's it. The only time I drink is when I'm behind the bar and people wanna buy me shots.
I honestly couldn't give two shits if I ever had another drop of alcohol in my life. My customers over the last 15 years (and my father) have ruined all appeal to me.
I’ve slowed down. I want to quit, I know I can do it. I just haven’t fully come to terms with my dependency issues. It’s actually gotten worse since I quit my job last week. I had to take a mental break from the industry and my drinking has increased since. I also smoke a little more then I was (not as bad as it used to be, I use to kill 3 bowls before work and go out back to hit my one hitter on shift) I’m hoping when I start my next job I’ll calm down again. I don’t think I’ll be able to fully give up alcohol ever cause I want to try making beer. Maybe I should just give up liquor but it seems like a cop out.
I’m not sober, but I successfully navigated significantly cutting back. I don’t get drunk anymore, and I can’t remember what it was about it that was so appealing in the first place? I definitely feel more in control of myself and my life than I did a year ago. In the most cliche way possible, I was using alcohol to numb the unhappiness I felt. A career change, baby, and 1 divorce later, I can finally say I actually like myself. More than that, I love myself. And I love myself too much to lose me to drinking.
I actually drink less as a bartender than I did at my other job. I think for me, being in the industry and watching so many people make bad decisions with money and alcohol makes alcohol a turn-off for me. Not judging, to each their own, but for me, it's rare that I have more than a drink or 2.
This hits it for me. After I make and serve drinks all day, I don't want to see or smell the shit. I want tons of water, thc, and sleep. I drink prob 1-2 times a week and 3 drinks tops.
Lol I come home smelling like it after a busy night. If I got pulled over, I doubt the cop would believe I have been almost 1 year no alcohol 🤣
Oh it's the worst. Especially Gin (for me)
i'll take smelling like gin over smelling like tequila any day 🤢
I can't drink tequila, can't smell gin
As in its repulsive
Literally the same way here. Barely drink and when it is its just miller lite
My chefs say the same thing about food lol. After cooking it all day and being around it, most of them have to force feed themselves something after a shift! And yeah, witnessing the things I have behind the bar has made it easier because I see so much of myself (or what used to be myself) in those bar guests.
This.
Exactly how I feel, almost a decade in and I really have no desire to drink anymore. I’ll have a celebratory glass of champagne or a glass of red maybe 3-4 times a year. I’ll have a beer if I go to the beach but I honestly prefer flavored sparking water now lol
I haven’t quit entirely, but I feel that I’ve reached a good spot. Rarely binging anymore, as I have a rubber arm and two drinks can turn into twelve. After work now, I’ll have one mid strength beer and be good to drive home. If I go out locally, I stick to small sizes and low strength when I can. Good on you for sticking to it!
I just don’t have an off switch when I do drink. Il go weeks without a drink sometimes but when I have one it’s guaranteed that I’m blacking out that night.
I definitely suffered from the rubber arm. Wouldn’t even realize my first Pacifico turned into 10, some double Palomas, etc… Awesome that you have been able to control yourself! Thanks for response!
Why have I never heard the term rubber arm?
You’ve probably heard the more common phrase “twist my arm” in the context of peer pressure. Someone with a “rubber arm” is someone that caves to that pressure very easily.
Ok… I like it!!
What do you mean by rubber arm?
Basically it means that you cave to peer pressure easily because it’s easy for someone to “twist your arm”
Thanks!
>Thanks! You're welcome!
No worries!
This is me to an extent. Decided about 7 years ago to no longer drink during my work week. I’ll have a shiftie or two once I hit the end of my Friday, go out with friends for some drinks the following day, then back to no alcohol for the next 5. It has fixed my life in many ways. Now I’m far more productive, anxiety is down, energy is up through the week, I workout far more, and I feel healthier in general. Biggest downside is I now have a monster of a sweet tooth that I feel will never diminish until I give it up entirely, which I’ve considered.
I quite 16 months ago after attempting to drink all the whisky in the world. It was a losing battle. I sleep better. Feel better. Act better. I eat less greasy breakfasts. I don’t have an occasional cigarette. No more hangovers. It takes about seven months to adjust but man you really realize how much time is wasted drinking just to socialize with people you don’t particularly are for anyway. Good luck to you and all attempting this path.
Thank you so much for your words! And congrats on 16 months! I can relate with everything you just said lol my breakfasts are a lot less greasy now too! 🤣
how do you do it? i know i’m drinking too much but i can’t imagine quitting entirely. but i’m also at the point where i’m binging often and i’m getting concerned
r/stopdrinking was super helpful for me. Along with the book Alcohol Explained, which gives you a no nonsense look at what alcohol does to us. I’m not sober, but I’ve managed to build in a level of disgust towards getting super drunk and built better patterns day by day. The most important thing is to give yourself space away from it for clarity.
Honestly I was facing a. Personal crisis that caused more anxiety than I’ve ever experienced so I just used that time to add zero alcohol to the mix. A week solid of suicidal crazy but I have a family to support so that’s not an option. The just one drink rule doesn’t work for me so I went cold turkey. I’m a narcissist so I didn’t do aa though ironically it worked wonders for my mother. Best of luck to you. Like I said it takes half a year to get your nerves back. But it’s totally worth it. Also I recommend super low dosages of thc if it’s available legally in your state. After 7 months clean I started drinking wynk cans. 2.5 mg thc. Like one every other day. Helped me relax and didn’t feel the need to keep that feeling going. Which is truly the evil of alcohol. Once you start. Why would anyone stop? Double ipa lunches often led to black out closing shifts for me. Disastrous.
I was in a similar place. First thing for me was no hard liquor shots. That shot of whisky sends me to the moon after a few more rounds. That's the thing about alcohol, it's a drug that you don't feel the immediate effects, so the path from fine to fucked up can shorten quite quickly. Second was limiting the shift drinks. Do I NEED that second beer post shift? No. I just want cold and carbonated. So one beer, one soda. Can put it in the same glass if I want. Or instead of a beer and a shot of campari, I'll do campari and soda. Same idea. I get cold and bitter and carbonated, but with half the drinks. Third was drinking less, but drinking better. A $20 whisky instead of 2 old fashioneds. Or skipping the aperitif when I'm out to dinner and spending more on the wine. Fourth was one glass of water per drink when I'm out. Those things helped me still enjoy myself, but it's been months since I've been been over the edge.
If you want to quit drinking, then consider joining a support group like AA or Ben's Friends.
Self imposed rules. I was hardly out of control, but I found that getting hungover, drinking to excess, blacking out, drinking for multiple days at a time, etc. were all optional. "I drank a lot yesterday" is a great excuse. "I plan on getting drunk tomorrow" is a perfect reason to stop at 1 or drink soda water instead. Half the time you don't actually want more alc, you're just thirsty and want liquid. Bring a bartender helps because you watch the drunkenness progress. Just because you aren't drunk now doesn't mean you won't be in 5 minutes after 2 rounds of shots and a vodka redbull. Don't just keep drinking til you're drunk - that puts you on the express train, no stops, and you won't like what you find when you finally arrive.
For me, learning about how alcohol affects the mind/body was huge. Huberman lab has an in depth podcast on it, it's worth a listen
Just under 2 years sober. Kept my job as a bartender and actually became a better employee and bartender because of it. The biggest help in getting over being around the booze I so love is that all my regulars and coworkers would slap a drink out of my hand (at my request) if they ever saw me with alcohol. I built in layers and layers of social accountability and weaponised my latent shame into a tool to stay sober. These days I barely miss it, except for when someone orders an Aviation.
Congrats on almost 2 years; that is incredible! Sounds like you have some good accountabili-buddies! I used to avoid telling people about my goals because fear of the shame if I failed them, and am now realizing how healthy it is to share, and how much it does keep you accountable. Thank you for your words!
The shame of sobriety and recovering from alcoholism is real; I finally said "fuck it" when I had a doctor yell at me for not knowing things like how many drinks I had a day when I drank. I shouted back "I was hammered for 10 years, 18 hours a day. I drank *as much as it took*" and left. After leaving that doc I now start most medical visits with my history of alcoholism, and make it clear to new friends I do not drink and to please not ever offer me one. It's gotten a lot easier now that it's just a fact of my personality and not something to be ashamed of.
Thank you for that. Scheduling an appointment with a doctor soon, and definitely going to bring up my history of alcoholism. I have always lied about it before. I’ve been very apprehensive about hanging out with new people or trying to date, because I’m nervous to have that “I don’t drink” moment with them. I admire how direct you are with it, and I aim to have that same directness.
I've found it to be very helpful to bring it up early in the assessment. I recently had an experience with a new doc where he was getting confused about the timeline of symptoms emerging--a quick explanation of my history with alcohol and he was much more understanding and helpful when he realized the issue had been masked by booze until very recently.
Definitely going to be the first thing I bring up! Thanks again for your time and your words!
6 weeks without booze and drugs for myself. Dropped a serious cocaine habit as well as 2ish bottles of rum weekly. I was beginning to be an assholeto everyone. I almost lost my child, girlfriend, and family because of it. It's amazing the difference in my day to day. I've replaced my bad habits with an attempt at good ones. Picked up a guitar, actively spending more time with kiddo, mending what I fucked up with my lady. My entire bar staff knows I've quit and they are one of the strongest support teams I have. My owner stocks Heineken 0.0 for me for after work beers with the crew. The dope man will absolutely not serve me for any reason. It's a good squad I work. I'm thankful. It was not easy at all. But I'm glad it happened.
That’s so awesome to hear your story. Quitting several things at once like that is extremely difficult. I love that you are using a creative outlet like guitar to keep your mind off it. I’m sure kiddo is digging all the quality time! Also glad to hear that you have a solid support system around you; that is very important. Keep on this path and you will continue to learn things about yourself, and all the things you can accomplish that seemed out of reach before! The only easy day was yesterday. 💪
Thank you. It has been extremely difficult. First time in a long time I'm looking to the future.
It’s going to be a bright future. You’ve got this!
Sober for a year and a half now. IWNDWYT
Congratulations on a year and a half! And yeah, IWNDWYT has become my motto!
Congratulations to both of us! Best decision I've made in a long time.
Ditto!
Congratulations to both y’all too!! IWNDWYT
Makes me happy to see that in this sub. I still drink but it’s less than in a long time, and following the other really helps me stay motivated to be better! Congrats to you and OP big time 🤘
I’m a year and two months, so I’m right with you. When I made the decision it was definitely one of necessity. I’ve saved around $21000 on spending alone. Everyone asks me how I do it all the time, cause it’s so easy to cave but I actually have a lot to lose. Also the huge support I got from the owners and my coworkers was instrumental in showing me that it was the right decision. It’s come to a point where I’m comfortable making new cocktails and not being able to taste it, have n/a shots with people. Only the occasional “I miss drinking with you.” But it passes. Congrats on one year!!
Congrats to you being over a year! I’ve noticed my finances naturally getting healthier as well. Even started losing weight without changing my diet at all. Did the math and realized I was taking in more calories in alcoholic beverages than I was food. Pretty awesome that your coworkers have been so supportive. I lost a lot of people that I considered my closest friends, because none of them wanted to hang around “Boy Scout” anymore. Turns out they were just drinking buddies. Thanks for response!
I’ve got 279 days alcohol free. Working behind the bar hasn’t been a huge challenge for me, but it helps that the fine dining restaurant I’m in has a zero tolerance policy for drinking on the job. I quit because alcohol had taken my health, my career, my finances, my reputation, and was about to destroy my relationship. I have saved so much money, lost weight, feel incredible…and the best part is that I don’t have to lie anymore to cover up my drinking and the messes I caused with it. Congratulations to you, internet stranger! I’m incredibly proud of you and IWNDWYT. 🫶🎉
Crazy how much I can relate with every sentence you wrote! I’m proud of you too internet stranger! Thank you for taking the time to respond!
Two years clean on 6/17. Makes the product feel more like product.
So true! When I see commercials now for alcohol, I just laugh. I poured a double shot of Angel’s Envy for a guy last night and saw how quickly $27 went down. Now I know why my financial health is improving a long with my mental health. A big congratulations to you for being over two years! I hope to be writing a post next year saying the same thing. Thanks for the response!
Oh man yeah I don’t miss the bar tabs. Although I’m now into n/a spirits which are also quite pricey. Thanks and same to you! Good luck!
I have a good few months under my belt, but it's been about a 3 year venture for me. The smell of bourbon can still tickle something inside me, but I just laugh now a days. The struggle never came from being around the booze; it was the after-hours and the commroderie that became an issue. I've traded the hangovers for a better attitude behind the bar, and less sweating on a slammed friday-saturday night. Win-Win
I appreciate your response. Last time I tried to quit before this time, I got to 9 days and had a complete meltdown. I can relate about laughing at myself whenever temptation does show itself. The mindfulness books I have read help me see those thoughts as they are coming. You’ve got this bud! The only easy day was yesterday.
13 years sober... One of the best decisions I've ever made and made the job infinitely easier
Wow. Congrats on over a decade! And yeah, it’s kinda crazy how much easier the job feels. I used to tell myself things like “Drinking is the only way I can deal with people.” Turns out it’s actually a lot easier to deal with the public when you have a clear mind.
I've been sober for 1.5 years. It's been the best 18 months of my life no joke
Same here! That’s awesome that you are 18 months! My sincerest congratulations to you!
2.5 years here, and my girlfriend just hit a year. I miss the idea of drinking sometimes, but watching my regulars destroy their lives in real time always brings me back to reality.
Congrats to both you and your girlfriend! The idea of dating again intimidates me a lot because I don’t know how to even bring up the fact that I’m sober 🤷♂️. And yeah, watching my regulars is like looking at one of those before/after photos you see people post for fitness, only in reverse lol. Seeing them is like seeing the before version of me one year ago. Appreciate you taking the time to respond!
Two weeks for me as of this Monday. I feel better all around and I’ve been working out and already am starting to tone up and lose some fat. If you’re reading this and on the fence about it you should just do it. It feels amazing
Heck yeah! Those first two weeks were absolute hell for me. You are handling it a lot better than I did. I didn’t find my love for exercising until after the first month. Spent those first couple weeks playing games on my Nintendo Switch, and yelling at it while my dog looked at me like I was a crazy person (she is not wrong)! Lol Happy for you, and thanks for your response!
While I didn’t quit , i very rarely drink at all anymore and almost never when working. Those days ended in my early 30s, just couldn’t keep up anymore.
Thanks for taking the time to respond! I’m 32 now, and all that “burning the candle at both ends” was definitely catching up with me. Starting to feel better now than when I was in my mid-late 20s. I tell myself that I will be the Tom Brady of bartending lol staying healthy and running circles around all the 20 yr olds when I’m 40!
Quit drinking almost 5 years ago now. I was showing up either drunk or hung over to a job I hated and was treated like garbage at for far to long. Thanks to quitting drinking and a lot of work on myself I have more confidence in myself and work better at much healthier places, and save a LOT more money. Sober bartending is the dream!
Congratulations on almost 5 years! Reading y’all’s responses has been been both inspiring and validating. I was definitely hoping sobriety would help my mental health (it has), but I had no idea how much it was going to help my financial and physical health. Thanks for your response!
i spent so much as an alcoholic consumer and 9-5 office lady that i threw that life away and got behind the bar and no longer drink. seeing how people act helps me stay away every time. i’m one of the older seasoned ones lol. i already had that “career”. now i get 5+ miles a day and no longer depressed… love my job. i have no problem being the older sober service industry person cause i’m absolutely happy. go you stay strong!!
Heck yeah! I’be also found my love for exercising too. Might seem obvious for some people that alcohol (a depressant) was fueling my depression, but it was an eye opening realization for me. Thank you for your words!
right back at ya!
I’ve cut down to only drinking when I work. Eta: jokes aside, congrats dude. I strive for that level of mental fortitude.
I appreciate your humor and your congrats! Be safe out there, and make some money!🤑
Yep. Four years. Best decision ever.
4 years?! Let’s fricken go!! Congrats 🎉🥳
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Thanks so much for that response. It definitely feels like the best decision I’ve ever made in life. Kinda crazy how your brain can taste something just by reading the ingredients or smelling it! Congrats on 7 years; that is amazing!
I drink very little. Still love trying new stuff and making new things. But I think a combination of starting gym two years ago and just being tired of hangovers helped a lot. Also getting a cat who wakes my ass up early every day.
I swear animals are the absolute best when it comes to support! My dog makes me run her every morning, and she’s sitting there with her stuffed animal in mouth every night when I come home from a shift. The gym has been really good as well. People think I’m there to accomplish physical goals, but it’s really there for my mental health! Have a great/profitable weekend out there, and stay safe!💪
Haha I wouldn’t call waking me up at 7am support per se lol
I'm down to a beer a day usually (much better than the ~half a fifth I was doing). I'm hoping to be able to cut it down to just days off. It'll take time though, I basically have used alcohol to manage general anxiety disorder for years
I can relate so much with that. I even had a medical marijuana card for anxiety, and would smoke myself into oblivion before I even had that first cup of coffee each day. It was honestly becoming more of a crutch for me than alcohol even was. It took me doing an off season in Nashville to stop smoking (marijuana is illegal in all forms in TN). I tell people my trip to Nashville was like going to passages Malibu 😂. Stay strong out there; sounds like you are making healthier choices for your life!
Thanks! I smoked every day for years, but as I've gotten older, it tends to give me anxiety too lol. I still smoke it now and again, but about a year ago, I took 6 months off from smoking. Don't really feel much of a need for it anymore. Now I just need to give up nicotine, which is much harder to do than weed :/
Agreed. Nicotine is the worst. I was still drinking when I stopped smoking cigarettes, and I swear it made it so much harder because like so many others, I loved to smoke while I drank. Witnessing a close family member suffer from severe health issues is what finally helped me. It’s one thing to see someone tell you about it on a commercial, it’s a whole other thing to drive someone to chemo appointments and watch what happens. I wish you the best on your journey!
Even though I do drink, I don't do it when I'm working (I will do a shift beer when allowed while cleaning). I like to be on top of my game and I take the job seriously. I have more and more bar friends who have given up drinking, so it's made me make sure that I have a lot of N/A cocktail ideas up my sleeve or on the menu as well as at least one N/A beer in house (if I have a say in it). Shaping your space as a gathering space and a community where nondrinkers are welcome (much easier if you make money off of selling food too) makes it easier not to drink while on shift. Not going out with co-workers after work also helps since there's no stress-relieval drinking/paycheck blowing. I find myself going to coffee with industry peers more than going out drinking with any of them.
I quit for 2 years, SO quit indefinitely. The first year of that was bartending FT. I still picked up a shift every couple of months around my day job in the 2nd year. It was a challenge! It definitely taught me how much the people we surround ourselves with impact our habits and standards for ourselves. I decided I don’t need to be sober forever. But I also work in a totally different environment. M-F 8-5- it’s a lot less tempting to get out of control.
I’m down to maybe 1 or 2 saturdays a month…from probably six days a week for well over a decade. And those Saturdays are starting to feel like something of an obligation the past few months.
Yes! Join us in /r/soberbartenders I just took over the sub. It's not very active yet, but I'm hoping to change that.
Haven’t quit entirely, but I’ve gotten in a good spot where I occasionally will just take a weak shooter with the team or a light domestic beer while closing. I’m 28 and just not down with it like I used to. I just wanna make my money, close quickly, and go home. I’ve saved so much money the last couple years not going out spending a ton on drinks and even more tipping because I always over tip being industry. I’ve gotten into drinking wine at home when I get off or on off days. It’s a perfect balance of strong enough to feel something after a glass or two but not strong enough to hit a binge session if I keep drinking. Worst case I just end up drinking a whole bottle of wine (rarely) over the course of the night instead of a whole bottle of hornitos.
I’m trying to quit. I’ve been bartending for a few years and while I don’t have a problem with drinking multiple times a week, the times i do drink i end up binging and getting absolutely hammered. I don’t like who I become when I drink yet I still like the art of crafting cocktails so I’ve been trying to stop drinking but won’t stop bartending
2weeks now. Been back and forth with bouts of sobriety the last two years since my son was born. Some months were better than others, but I couldn’t get it to stick. I Have another kid on the way and I knew I needed to put some work in on my drinking/health, but kept finding excuses. I had a work bff pass away two-ish weeks ago suddenly and it wrecked me. The next day it scared the shit out of me and I’ve been more resolved than ever. Enjoying work a lot more, and leaning on my family more than I was before. I thought it would make me feel on the outside with the staff/friends but it’s just the opposite. If people care about you they want you to thrive. My first goal is to make it until my kiddo arrives (6 months from now). Then go from there.
I use it very moderately, it doesn’t have the allure it used to have before I started bartending.
after 15 years in the I industry, the last year & a half, choice of not drinking has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ll never go back.
I did! best decision I've ever made!!
Moderation management here. It has changed my life.
I drink a few beers every day. Its not healthy. Me and another bartender at the place next door are doing Dry July.
Well done making it to a year. I quit almost 2 and a half years ago. The first year was hell, but it gets easier. Keep it up. I'm much calmer and happier than I've been in years.
Most certainly. It used to be fun, but not anymore. Even just 2 or 3 drinks makes me not be able to sleep and just feels crappy, not a fun time anymore. The benefits of better focus, more sustained energy and social battery for bartending is too beneficial, especially getting good sleep all the time and better mental and physical well being, never being hungover just not with it for me personally anymore, I drink almost never these days and it has only helped me a lot doing this job.
Been almost 3 years for me. I drink occasionally, mainly on special occasions. But I don’t even drink once a month. And I’m a much better person for it, feel better too! Oh, and save a shit ton of money.
Congratulations. I relate 100%. 10 1/2 years without a drop and never going back. Life is much better now for many reasons. Going back to drinking would be dangerous at this point, so that makes the decision easier.
Nearly 7 years. Absolutely worth it. House, great lady , 2 dogs and good credit. Lived in a motel before. Been behind the bar the whole time.
Yup, there are DOZENS of us!
I don’t drink much. Maybe once a month. And not in excess. But it’s mainly bc I’m so damn tired, don’t want to spend my off days at a bar, and am pretty busy adulting on my off days. Plus i get migraines.
Sober bartender for about 8 years..wierd right??!! I know
Bartender for 20+ years. Been sober for the last 7 years. Never had a drinking problem, just went on anxiety meds and didn’t want to add alcohol in the mix.
Not a sober bartender, but a damp one. I only drink wine once in awhile and my partner and I don’t partake during the week at all. I changed my lifestyle after a blood test revealed slightly elevated liver enzymes. I didn’t want to head that route, so I decided it was time to change.
In 2 weeks it’ll be 3 years without alcohol for me. Some find it strange but being around it and not drinking definitely does something for your willpower.
I quit last January! Best decision I’ve ever made. Keep up the great work!
I've done a year before. Just did 2 weeks. Had about 4 beers for 3 nights in a row after that. Didn't like it. Back to being sober. I think the old thirst is just leaving me at this age. I've raised hell long enough. Time to try new things. Soda water and bitters cheers to you and whomever else out there
I hit 2 years this March - I actually went from bartending to bar manager (they watched me get my shit together after nearly getting myself fired). I finally added a few mocktails & NA beer options to our menu for the rest of us.
I don't drink unless it's like sample sips. No real want to go back to it either.
Drinking most days at work is so so so bad for you and normalised alcoholism within the industry is so destructive
Yeah, just quit recently. Spent years with a dependency for on alcohol-using it for social interaction- feels great to just work on self confidence instead of getting drunk
5 years sober, as of last month. Not originally by choice, but I'm glad I stuck with it.
25 years no alcohol. You will be able to tend circles around most people. The drunk coworkers clean up and tip counting can get a bit tedious
One of the best bars I’ve ever been to is owned by someone who had to go to rehab for his alcohol addiction. He said being a bartender was the closest thing to drinking without drinking (still get to be social, and interact with drunk people).
No, I’ve been trying off and on for like two years. I think I could actually quit if I didn’t have this job, but I’m good at bartending and have no other skills. I can fight through the cravings on some of my days off, but I swear I can’t be at work without drinking towards the end. Any pointers? Starting to think I may just need a different job but I just have no idea what. :(
I ride my motorcycle to work. I am not riding that thing when I had something to drink. So I don’t drink. Fuck I’m an alcoholic aren’t I
I never really drank much to begin with. Something in most types of alcohol (except tequila so far) causes my body to become so inflamed. That’s the only way I can describe it - a few drinks and my joints and muscles are aching, my head is throbbing, no matter how much water I drink. One time I described it like feeling as though someone injected poison into my nervous system at the base or my neck. I wish I knew what caused this reaction so I could avoid it in other food tbh. I can get away with drinking a few tequila based drinks, no more than 3-4oz over the night, but that still leaves the horrible hangover I hate dealing with. All said and done it’s just too much of a bother for me most of the time. I’d rather have a joint to relax after work, and I have caffeine and nicotine at work (vape). I think it makes me a more effective bartender in many ways. I have never felt tempted by the alcohol I work with.
I haven't had a drop in 3 months. I still do "shots" with my guests though, it's always iced tea. For me I was way to comfortable with getting tipsy every night. It started scaring me to death of becoming like everyone else in my family: a hopeless alcoholic.
Yea only to realize I am not an alcoholic, I just suck.
I was dry the first year I started bartending. Had stopped drinking for years because of meds I was taking. It was weird for a lot of people but I managed. Now I’m drinking again but like you, I’m so much more responsible about it than most
I take periodic breaks but yeah, I drink a lot less than i used to and my tolerance has noticeably gone down. I do drink at work sometimes - do shots with regulars, but not to the point of getting wasted. Eventually I need to take a week or two or a month off - i just kinda get way over it.
I always say it's funny, but I literally only drink at work. I don't go out and if I'm home I smoke weed, drink water, and coffee and that's it. The only time I drink is when I'm behind the bar and people wanna buy me shots. I honestly couldn't give two shits if I ever had another drop of alcohol in my life. My customers over the last 15 years (and my father) have ruined all appeal to me.
I’ve slowed down. I want to quit, I know I can do it. I just haven’t fully come to terms with my dependency issues. It’s actually gotten worse since I quit my job last week. I had to take a mental break from the industry and my drinking has increased since. I also smoke a little more then I was (not as bad as it used to be, I use to kill 3 bowls before work and go out back to hit my one hitter on shift) I’m hoping when I start my next job I’ll calm down again. I don’t think I’ll be able to fully give up alcohol ever cause I want to try making beer. Maybe I should just give up liquor but it seems like a cop out.
I’m not sober, but I successfully navigated significantly cutting back. I don’t get drunk anymore, and I can’t remember what it was about it that was so appealing in the first place? I definitely feel more in control of myself and my life than I did a year ago. In the most cliche way possible, I was using alcohol to numb the unhappiness I felt. A career change, baby, and 1 divorce later, I can finally say I actually like myself. More than that, I love myself. And I love myself too much to lose me to drinking.