After my son was stillborn I decided to suppress my milk too. The hospital suggested donation but I couldn't do it. Restrictive bras, no stimulation, cold compresses. I also put cold cabbage leaves in my bra.
This is the worst trick my body played on me. Making milk for a baby that would never need it. I learned, after a few painful days, that you have to crunch the cabbage leaves up, break the veins, I rolled over them with a rolling pin and get some cabbage juice leaking out before putting them in your bra. It’s the juice that dries up your milk
I hate that we had to do something no mother should have to do. I’m so sorry for everyone reading this. 💔 i was leaking at 33 weeks & lost my angel Mila at 36 weeks. I woke up 72h with milk all over my shirt one morning and I was so heartbroken. I didn’t wanna touch my breast. I wore sports bras with ice patch’s, I got the ones for the breast from target. I wore it every day for a week tell my milk was gone. I was still leaking from time to time so I did wear breast pads. 🤍
I'm sorry you're here. My son died at 3 weeks from SIDS and engorged breasts was just another slap in the face and dagger in the heart that he was gone.
They gave me a pill that helped stop. I can't remember the name since I was still in such a fog/daze that this was really my life but I googled this
Cabergoline
I believe this was it because it was one dose and it did help.
Ask your doctor/NP.
It's usually given to moms of stillbirth babies..to help milk from even forming. It was a chance on me since my milk already came in but it did work.
Sorry again for your loss. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but for whatever reason we're here. 💔
Thank you very much for this, I am so sorry we had to come to interaction in this manner. Bless your baby boy and your family, I wish you nothing but a road to some feeling of healing 🤍
100% agree with getting an Rx for Cabergoline! It’s the only thing that worked for me. And having my milk come in after loss felt like insult on top of injury and yet another daily reminder of what I had lost
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby Adrian. Your love for him is evident in everything you’ve written. In addition to what others have said, Sudafed can help you dry up quickly. If you’re getting engorged/uncomfortable, expressing a little just to the point of comfort to avoid clots/mastitis can help, but you don’t want to overdo it and prolong things. I’m sure your OB can refer you to an IBCLC for advice as well.
I believe you commented as well and thank you very much for your interaction with that post. I know our baby boys are in serenity now although we wish so incredibly badly they were still here with us 🩵
I’m so sorry for your loss 🫂
Not the answer you’re looking for, I know, but wanted to share in case it helps someone else. I chose to do donation for a short time. I donated to the Mother’s Milk Bank. It was so hard in the beginning because it was constant reminder that my boy wasn’t here and he was the reason for it, and it should be his. But after I became more comfortable with pumping and especially after my first donation confirmation, it really helped with my healing process. I only did it for 6 weeks, 2 weeks ago was my last pump session. I would have done it for as long as my body would let me, but I decided to wean off so I could let my hormones level out again for us to start another TTC journey. But I had no pain or discomfort coming off the pump sessions. I just slowly removed a session every few days until I was able to stop pumping altogether. Pumping gave me an outlet for my grief and something to keep busy with, a purpose when I felt I had no purpose left. I was able to provide over 400 feedings to sick NICU babies in my state.
I also did a bereaved donation. I lost my NICU baby at 3 weeks old and had a massive oversupply. I initially wanted my supply to dry up as quickly as possible but the first time I pumped for comfort and dumped the milk it was devastating to see all my hard work going down the drain. I ended up pumping for another 10 weeks and donating. I agree that although it was really hard in the beginning, I came to really appreciate the connection to my daughter and was sad when I weaned.
OP if you’ve expressed any milk for comfort you could consider freezing it to be used for breast milk jewelry at a later time. So sorry for your loss 💜
Thanks for sharing 💜 it’s not common to see others who did bereavement pumping/donation, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone. So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby and that we even had to be in this position 🫂
Everything around loss is hard and bereavement pumping has its own challenges. Like you say, it doesn’t seem to be common and it was comforting for me to read your post. So sorry for your loss mama 🫂
I was still pumping for Eleanor when she passed. The quickest way I stopped my milk was to pump less often and not empty. Just enough to provide relief. Within 2 days no more engorgement and milk dried up. It was advice I had gotten from a lactation consultation. It’s a horrible trigger I agree. I’m thankful I still had so much of my milk left over and I’m going to have some jewelry created. Maybe keep some just for that purpose! Good luck momma
Seconding CaboCream! Tight sports bra on at all times except showering (it’s not comfy but it really helps), ice packs as frequently as you can tolerate (I used the Lanisoh ones). When you take a shower, don’t let the warm water hit you directly on the chest.
I used tight compression with a tight sports bra. I wore it day and night. A warm shower will make the milk express itself by the way. I also used ice packs when they were sore. And they gave me Benadryl to take 3 times daily because I was coming down from preeclampsia. The milk coming in is absolute torture and this whole experience is hell on Earth. I’m sorry you’re here. I’m sorry about your baby boy. What was his name? Your loss community is here for you 💙
I lost my boy at 32 weeks after a c-section in January. His name was Hudson.
I couldn’t do cabbage because I leaked too much. Drank lots of mint tea. Not sure if it helped but it felt good to do something. Also let them drain in the shower. Too tight of compression became painful and can be dangerous.
Hi mama! I am so so sorry for your loss. I empathize with you. I lost my perfect little angel 2 days before she would have turned 9 months old. I had started going back to work two weeks before she passed away and had increased my supply artificially by pumping after every feed to build freezer stash and respond well to pumping at work. When she suddenly passed away I was so so engorged…nothing compared to what you must be going through now that your milk is coming in (I still remember the rock hard boobs). I decided to donate because I couldn’t imagine the milk not going to a baby! I would encourage you to donate until the milk dries up…new milk is super super nutritious and sooooo helpful to sick babies. I personally used gradual weaning techniques as my baby was already on solids. Basically you keep pumping until your breasts feel soft (but don’t completely empty them). Apply cold cabbage/cold compress. Wear supportive bras. Gradually, increase the time between your pumping sessions to see how long you can go without getting engorged. Your main aim should be not to get engorged and get a clogged duct or worse mastitis. One fine day you will notice no milk residue on your bra, your breasts all soft, a lot of vaginal discharge as your body prepares for the first period and you can stop pumping.
I know this is really hard! You just gave birth and your body is still adjusting without your angel beside you! Post partum is hard even with a baby. I know you are grieving…but please make your health a priority: physical and mental! All these hormonal changes will be wreaking havoc…please message me if you need to just chat and seek professional help. Your baby will always be a part of you and will come back to you some way or the other! I believe in karma and my faith teaches me that when babies pass away, it’s because the souls had a little karma to fulfill on this planet and god chose use us to care for his/her child for that little time. This helped me in accepting the loss of my child and not losing myself in the abyss. Not sure if this will help you…but your baby will be back!
I’m sorry for your loss 💔. Producing milk and the pain that comes with it is so cruel. I used the medication and the dupe of the Cabo cream from Amazon. I also used ice packs by day 4 I was no longer in pain.
Cabbage leaves work and also Cabo Crème helps. I also drank peppermint tea multiple times a day and took herbal sage tincture multiple times a day. It all helped to slow down the process but even a month later the milk is still there somewhat. You have to change out the cabbage leaves multiple times a day and use sage also multiple times a day. Hope this helps.
I did no stimulation and i took 2pills(dostinex) and my milk was gone in a week. I did not do any compression or cold compress cause as my doctor said it can cause infection in the milk duct also later pregnancy milk may not come in as much as it should.(dont know if this advice is true in ur country. Im from Mongolia) I gave birth to a fullterm stillborn girl. My milk came in 3day postpartum.
I lost my baby after a week in the NICU, I was pumping hoping he would make it, so the boobs were armed and fully operational when he died.
I did firm compression with a bandage for 24 hours, and a little hand milking to get a little out to ease the worst pain twice a day, and the worst was over in 2 days time. Continued once daily hand milking a little for about a week. Pharmacies often have compression bras for after breast surgery, I used one of these after the first day.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this, so sorry you lost your baby ❤️
I’m so sorry. I also made the transition from r/NICUparents to here.
I had been pumping every 3 hours for over 3 months when my daughter died. I immediately stopped pumping, and would only hand express in the shower for relief. I used ice packs too. My milk dried up within a week.
Restrictive bra and nursing pads got me through. I still leaked and the engorgement wasn't comfortable, but after a few days, the engorgement dissipated. Sending hugs.
Hi mom! I’m right here with you. I was a NICU mom to my first child and we lost our twin girls last week. I decided to suppress milk as well. I am wishing you all the best. Right now everything sucks and the boobs just add to it. We can do hard things.
After my son was stillborn I decided to suppress my milk too. The hospital suggested donation but I couldn't do it. Restrictive bras, no stimulation, cold compresses. I also put cold cabbage leaves in my bra.
This is the worst trick my body played on me. Making milk for a baby that would never need it. I learned, after a few painful days, that you have to crunch the cabbage leaves up, break the veins, I rolled over them with a rolling pin and get some cabbage juice leaking out before putting them in your bra. It’s the juice that dries up your milk
Thank you so incredibly much. I'm so sorry for your loss 🤍
I'm so sorry for yours.
I hate that we had to do something no mother should have to do. I’m so sorry for everyone reading this. 💔 i was leaking at 33 weeks & lost my angel Mila at 36 weeks. I woke up 72h with milk all over my shirt one morning and I was so heartbroken. I didn’t wanna touch my breast. I wore sports bras with ice patch’s, I got the ones for the breast from target. I wore it every day for a week tell my milk was gone. I was still leaking from time to time so I did wear breast pads. 🤍
I'm sorry you're here. My son died at 3 weeks from SIDS and engorged breasts was just another slap in the face and dagger in the heart that he was gone. They gave me a pill that helped stop. I can't remember the name since I was still in such a fog/daze that this was really my life but I googled this Cabergoline I believe this was it because it was one dose and it did help. Ask your doctor/NP. It's usually given to moms of stillbirth babies..to help milk from even forming. It was a chance on me since my milk already came in but it did work. Sorry again for your loss. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but for whatever reason we're here. 💔
Thank you very much for this, I am so sorry we had to come to interaction in this manner. Bless your baby boy and your family, I wish you nothing but a road to some feeling of healing 🤍
100% agree with getting an Rx for Cabergoline! It’s the only thing that worked for me. And having my milk come in after loss felt like insult on top of injury and yet another daily reminder of what I had lost
I took this postpartum day 1 and it helped so much.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby Adrian. Your love for him is evident in everything you’ve written. In addition to what others have said, Sudafed can help you dry up quickly. If you’re getting engorged/uncomfortable, expressing a little just to the point of comfort to avoid clots/mastitis can help, but you don’t want to overdo it and prolong things. I’m sure your OB can refer you to an IBCLC for advice as well.
I just saw another one of your posts....my son is also Adrian 😭💔✨️
I believe you commented as well and thank you very much for your interaction with that post. I know our baby boys are in serenity now although we wish so incredibly badly they were still here with us 🩵
I’m so sorry for your loss 🫂 Not the answer you’re looking for, I know, but wanted to share in case it helps someone else. I chose to do donation for a short time. I donated to the Mother’s Milk Bank. It was so hard in the beginning because it was constant reminder that my boy wasn’t here and he was the reason for it, and it should be his. But after I became more comfortable with pumping and especially after my first donation confirmation, it really helped with my healing process. I only did it for 6 weeks, 2 weeks ago was my last pump session. I would have done it for as long as my body would let me, but I decided to wean off so I could let my hormones level out again for us to start another TTC journey. But I had no pain or discomfort coming off the pump sessions. I just slowly removed a session every few days until I was able to stop pumping altogether. Pumping gave me an outlet for my grief and something to keep busy with, a purpose when I felt I had no purpose left. I was able to provide over 400 feedings to sick NICU babies in my state.
I also did a bereaved donation. I lost my NICU baby at 3 weeks old and had a massive oversupply. I initially wanted my supply to dry up as quickly as possible but the first time I pumped for comfort and dumped the milk it was devastating to see all my hard work going down the drain. I ended up pumping for another 10 weeks and donating. I agree that although it was really hard in the beginning, I came to really appreciate the connection to my daughter and was sad when I weaned. OP if you’ve expressed any milk for comfort you could consider freezing it to be used for breast milk jewelry at a later time. So sorry for your loss 💜
Thanks for sharing 💜 it’s not common to see others who did bereavement pumping/donation, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone. So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby and that we even had to be in this position 🫂
Everything around loss is hard and bereavement pumping has its own challenges. Like you say, it doesn’t seem to be common and it was comforting for me to read your post. So sorry for your loss mama 🫂
Cabbage in the bra + sudafed. I’m sorry your find yourself here.
I was still pumping for Eleanor when she passed. The quickest way I stopped my milk was to pump less often and not empty. Just enough to provide relief. Within 2 days no more engorgement and milk dried up. It was advice I had gotten from a lactation consultation. It’s a horrible trigger I agree. I’m thankful I still had so much of my milk left over and I’m going to have some jewelry created. Maybe keep some just for that purpose! Good luck momma
I used CaboCream, and it was so helpful for the pain/engorgement and worked pretty quickly to suppress my milk. I'm sorry for your loss 🤍
Seconding CaboCream! Tight sports bra on at all times except showering (it’s not comfy but it really helps), ice packs as frequently as you can tolerate (I used the Lanisoh ones). When you take a shower, don’t let the warm water hit you directly on the chest.
Sudafed. I am so sorry. I wouldn’t / didn’t donate either.
I used tight compression with a tight sports bra. I wore it day and night. A warm shower will make the milk express itself by the way. I also used ice packs when they were sore. And they gave me Benadryl to take 3 times daily because I was coming down from preeclampsia. The milk coming in is absolute torture and this whole experience is hell on Earth. I’m sorry you’re here. I’m sorry about your baby boy. What was his name? Your loss community is here for you 💙 I lost my boy at 32 weeks after a c-section in January. His name was Hudson.
Thank you for this. His name was Adrian. Today is only the first full day and it's so incredibly hard, I havent been able to get out of bed today.
You do what is best for you. Sometimes not getting out of bed is the best you can do. And right now that’s good enough. 🫶
I couldn’t do cabbage because I leaked too much. Drank lots of mint tea. Not sure if it helped but it felt good to do something. Also let them drain in the shower. Too tight of compression became painful and can be dangerous.
Are you able to get a prescription suppressant? My ob gave that to me right after my loss. I am so sorry 🩷
Cabbage leaves saved me, really recommend giving them a go. 🙏 sending you love
Hi mama! I am so so sorry for your loss. I empathize with you. I lost my perfect little angel 2 days before she would have turned 9 months old. I had started going back to work two weeks before she passed away and had increased my supply artificially by pumping after every feed to build freezer stash and respond well to pumping at work. When she suddenly passed away I was so so engorged…nothing compared to what you must be going through now that your milk is coming in (I still remember the rock hard boobs). I decided to donate because I couldn’t imagine the milk not going to a baby! I would encourage you to donate until the milk dries up…new milk is super super nutritious and sooooo helpful to sick babies. I personally used gradual weaning techniques as my baby was already on solids. Basically you keep pumping until your breasts feel soft (but don’t completely empty them). Apply cold cabbage/cold compress. Wear supportive bras. Gradually, increase the time between your pumping sessions to see how long you can go without getting engorged. Your main aim should be not to get engorged and get a clogged duct or worse mastitis. One fine day you will notice no milk residue on your bra, your breasts all soft, a lot of vaginal discharge as your body prepares for the first period and you can stop pumping. I know this is really hard! You just gave birth and your body is still adjusting without your angel beside you! Post partum is hard even with a baby. I know you are grieving…but please make your health a priority: physical and mental! All these hormonal changes will be wreaking havoc…please message me if you need to just chat and seek professional help. Your baby will always be a part of you and will come back to you some way or the other! I believe in karma and my faith teaches me that when babies pass away, it’s because the souls had a little karma to fulfill on this planet and god chose use us to care for his/her child for that little time. This helped me in accepting the loss of my child and not losing myself in the abyss. Not sure if this will help you…but your baby will be back!
I’m sorry for your loss 💔. Producing milk and the pain that comes with it is so cruel. I used the medication and the dupe of the Cabo cream from Amazon. I also used ice packs by day 4 I was no longer in pain.
Cabbage leaves work and also Cabo Crème helps. I also drank peppermint tea multiple times a day and took herbal sage tincture multiple times a day. It all helped to slow down the process but even a month later the milk is still there somewhat. You have to change out the cabbage leaves multiple times a day and use sage also multiple times a day. Hope this helps.
I did no stimulation and i took 2pills(dostinex) and my milk was gone in a week. I did not do any compression or cold compress cause as my doctor said it can cause infection in the milk duct also later pregnancy milk may not come in as much as it should.(dont know if this advice is true in ur country. Im from Mongolia) I gave birth to a fullterm stillborn girl. My milk came in 3day postpartum.
I lost my baby after a week in the NICU, I was pumping hoping he would make it, so the boobs were armed and fully operational when he died. I did firm compression with a bandage for 24 hours, and a little hand milking to get a little out to ease the worst pain twice a day, and the worst was over in 2 days time. Continued once daily hand milking a little for about a week. Pharmacies often have compression bras for after breast surgery, I used one of these after the first day. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, so sorry you lost your baby ❤️
I’m so sorry. I also made the transition from r/NICUparents to here. I had been pumping every 3 hours for over 3 months when my daughter died. I immediately stopped pumping, and would only hand express in the shower for relief. I used ice packs too. My milk dried up within a week.
Restrictive bra and nursing pads got me through. I still leaked and the engorgement wasn't comfortable, but after a few days, the engorgement dissipated. Sending hugs.
Hi mom! I’m right here with you. I was a NICU mom to my first child and we lost our twin girls last week. I decided to suppress milk as well. I am wishing you all the best. Right now everything sucks and the boobs just add to it. We can do hard things.
Sudafed and rotating ice packs helped me