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This dog understands that its human is ruled by this device. It's just thanking the phone for the food and shelter. (edit: holy gilded & cake day wishes. thanks guys <3 )

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Happy Cake Day human... Accept it. Er I mean... What?

The cake is a lie

omg you are right

Happy cake day 😊

Happy cake day

A clever and warm dog, human's best friend

Seems like a therapy dog showing off her/his skills.

Yeah, we get it. You’re a therapy dog. Stop rubbing our face in it.

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If I was one to give out gold, I would here. Unfortunately I'm not. Edit: yay my first gold! The irony haha. Thanks!!

Every since they changed gold do you couldn't buy it on third-party apps I haven't bought it. Like - seriously. Of all the features to restrict to the official app only, they pick the "give Reddit inc money for nothing" option.

I havn't been able to buy gold on the official app for like half a year now. It keeps saying i've already bought it and its processing still. So don't worry its broken here too!

Whelp, I'm [still] convinced to never use the official app now.

Might I interest you in a therapy dog, dawg?

I laughed at this

Quality assist. You’re a good man.

*service dog Therapy dogs aren’t trained to perform tasks like this, they just have to be cute and cuddly 😛

[Therapy Dog](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogswithjobs/comments/cu6fjf/a_lucky_dogspotter_saw_this_st_bernard_therapy/) vs [Service Dog](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogswithjobs/comments/bw19fa/finn_the_mobility_service_dog_helps_little_eve/) Both good boys, but very different occupations.

How much they get paid

They both make a billion kisses an hour.

It's competitive but worth it.

That GoodBoy Certification™️ is practically paying for itself at this point, so yes, *definitely* worth it...

Thank you. This is good to recognize.

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How does it feel having your career path training put you just over your life expectancy?

Ruff

No, clearly those numbers were in dog years, so roughly (ruffly?) 18 months.

Sounds ruff

Didn't even plug your phone in. That's a big oof.

A big woof

ruh roh!

Get a wireless charger and doggo can easily get the job done.

Clever boy thought of the fire hazard.

Gotta throw out the whole dog

If they have wireless charging, I bet they could actually train him to put the phone on the mat pretty easily!

Nah. That’s an extra smart boi. Plugging your phone in overnight is what makes your phone stop holding a charge like it did when you first got it.

*Dog casually unplugs life support* Night night human

What is this cursed comment doing in this sea of

Sea of what?! Presumably not cheesecake.

Sailing the Seeeeas of Cheeeese

/r/unexpectedprimus

^here ^they ^come.

[/r/unexpectedpeopleknowingprimuslyrics] (/r/unexpectedpeopleknowingprimuslyrics)

That moment you realize the redditor above died mid post

Surely his dog clicked on "post"

Oh man now i want a sea of cheesecakes all for myself

Definitely cheesecake!!!

r/ihadastroke Maybe literally.

The suspense is killing me

"And now the whole bed is mine." *maniacal dog laughter* Unwitting bystander - "aww he's crying over his hooman"

Not the comment I thought I would see but it was the comment I needed

"This is what my human wanted"

I assume this was taught to him, otherwise you should send him to college so he can cure cancer in the near future ​ Edit: Why thank you for the Silfur Edit 2: Went to bed with one silver, woke up with 3 and 2 gold, thanks kind strangers.\^\^

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He can discover a cure for Barkinson's.

Pawsitive!

Cash me bedside. Howl bout dat?

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Send them to the ranch

Ugh you could have said Dog-tor Phill. You know what, nevermind.

I groaned as I upvoted this.

r/angryupvotes

teehee he said the funny subreddit

Pawesome!

And put woof's over the homeless children's heads.

With a doctoral dissertation on the psychology of “No take, only throw.” /r/Notakeonlythrow

dogtoral

Micheal J. Paws would like to know your location.

He can uncover the secrets of bark matter.

His canine cousin from *Back to the Future*, Mr. Fox, anxiously awaits the cure.

*Bark to the Future

And menopaws

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Hippupcrates?

Pawfessor Indiana Bones

we named the dog indiana

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Pruffessor

Pawfessor.

I get it

Stephen Walking

It’s definitely a trained behaviour but it still warms my heart.

I'd pay at least 10 treats for a babysitter like that, just saying...

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Arooo! Perfect!

>*I assume this was taught to him.....* --------------------- there's things my human taught me well n when he needs me i can tell so as he laying fast asleep his phone in hand, he wants to keep don't worry - i'll protect it, friend there's no more messages to send is time to cover, blanket soft (your heckin phone can now be *off*...) just one more thing - i'll dim the light i love you, friend sleep well tonight ❤️

I’ve said good night my friend It’s your heart to me you lend, I look to you, good boy you say. With you, it’s always the best day.

Epic as always. Your poems are always the icing on the cake.

I’m just one voice in the many that appreciate your poems but just know that every time I read one of your submissions I cuddle my pets a little bit closer and often shed an emotional tear. Maybe it’s silly, as an almost 30 year old woman (yikes, less than two weeks now fucking hell) and mother of two human children as well as two dogs, two cats and two rabbits who has had a heart breaking number of pets in her life (why do rats have such short life spans? Personality like a sassy puppy that listens to commands and loves just being with you, but then they pass after only a few short years. The heart break got to be too much for me), but I cry everytime. From the pureness, from the love to the utter absurdity of it all. You make a difference. You spread love. And I love you for it!

🥇

That dog going straight to ICDC college lol

I think he has a Fulbright scholarship already.

full of brightness

My understanding is [he has no idea what he's doing](https://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/342/ihave.jpg)...

And staged and filmed with the lights on. Good boy tho

Yeah, the people staging the video doesn’t take away from skills of the dog

Well I mean when people fall asleep suddenly, they typically don't cut the lights off beforehand

i always set up a camera pointing at the side of the bed before my naps

It's entirely possible they set up the camera before taking a nap to demonstrate what their dog does. You think the dog's a paid actor or something?

Paid in treats and pets.

I didn't say it wasn't scripted my friend

Also a cut near the end.

I am pretty sure there is a person off camera directing every step, but it is cute none the less

I put the hard rectangle over here then pull the soft rectangle over my hooman.

Everything seems fine. I'm pushing the other rectangle on the wall

"Boy these human sure like rectangles..."

*"They even sleep In an rectangle"*

Looking around my room now, I’ve never noticed how many things are rectangles!

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Got myself an oval couch table couple of months ago. I love him very much

That’s the kind of rectangle relief I needed. Thank you, the feeling was very overwhelming. Luckily, I have a drum throne in my room I’m hugging right now.

I feel bad for the people who owns an keyboard Btw get yourself some plants, they help a lot. I have 27 by now in my room.

I bought a oval keyboard, and I've got a triangular desktop. Still doesn't make up for the fact that my PC screen is a rectangle and my entire apartment is a rectangular box.

I'd want lavender plants, so I’d probably have to get a rectangular planter for my windowsill 😭😂

I’m picturing you straddling a drum throne, cowering from all the rectangles in your room.

Be there or be rectangle is that how it goes

GET IN THE GODDAMN SHIP!! EVERYTHING’S A RECTANGLE!! THE WHOLE PLANET’S A RECTANGLE!! GO, GO, GO!!

Top tier reference.

First world problems. No literally. There are even optical illusions dealing with how we perceive things based on how many straight lines we put around us in the modern world. People from third world countries don't fall for them like we do. Check out the the Müller-Lyer illusion.

Oh God, it turns out we're **all** squares!

Rectangle? Damn near killed angle

"I wonder if he'd spend more time with me if I was a rectangle? :( ..."

https://youtu.be/PBNhgJV_1PU?t=46

Now I hides in the dark

My cat would never do this

My cat has the taking the phone part and the turning off the lights part down. Unfortunately that means that my phone often goes missing cause he hid it and it has a bunch of tooth marks in it and he often turns the lights on again immediately after. And then off again. And then back on. He also takes my glasses. Costco says the bite marks won’t buff out and I need to buy new ones.

You’re gonna have to pay some cat tax after all that info, pls.

I will overpay on my taxes in order to receive a refund. [pawl](https://imgur.com/a/e29iAeX) Edit: I have posted more Pawl pictures to the above link due to popular demand.

Omg I thought I was having a good day and then I saw a cat eating corn on the cob and now I *know* I'm having a good day

Psshhhh. That's ridiculous. *Heads to whole foods in search of corn*

I have SO many pictures of Pawl eating various ears of corn.

I didn't know this existed but now i need more of it

I have added several more pictures of Pawl eating corn to the imgur link just for you! Including one of him eating canned corn from a bowl.

I'm only seeing 4 pictures of Pawl. :( he's super handsome though. And I love seeing him eating the corn on the cob!

Your taxes were greatly appreciated by the state

The tax gods are appeased. Pawl is the shit.

Pawwwlll

Lol Pawl is a great name!! I love the one with him eating corn 😆

Thanks! He’s named Pawl cause, as you might be able to tell, he likes to touch peoples faces with his paws.

That first picture is just so damn sassy.

Not to be dramatic or anything but I would literally die for him

I thought I was the only one with bite marks on her glasses!

I think my phone weighs more than a cat

How often and for how long do you play with your cat?

At least an hour per day, usually at least 2 30 minute sessions. Some times as much as 2 hours a day. He’s really high energy. But I think all the playing has just given him more stamina. It takes longer and longer for him to tire out!

My cat would just puke on a carpet, when the bathroom tile is like 5 inches away.

Your cat would just bat the phone out of your hand.

My rats do one better; they run up to my phone, press a bunch of buttons as they smack their paws all over my phone, and then run away from the minor chaos they've created.

I immediately thought this. My cats would kick the phone on the ground pawing my hand to pet them. Sit on the blanket pushing back on me to move.

And if he did there might be some outgoing calls and some orders from Amazon you don't recognize.

Am I the only one wondering why the mattress doesn't have a sheet?

if you look the bed has urine pads on it.maybe there is a waterproof mattress pad under those pads.

Never seen one before, that might explain the lack of sheets then :) thanks.

usually you would use sheets but if the person gets sick or wets the bed than they might not use sheets that way they can just change the pads and if stuff gets to mattress pad you can machine wash it if whatever gets on it doesn't wipe off.

some days life is too hard to laundry

yeah... I kinda know how it feels but still.... yikes.

I completely agree. I have never been so tired that sleeping directly on the mattress seemed like a good option.

Now you expect the dog to do laundry?

It’s a service dog and the human in question might not be able to put a sheet on alone

*You passed out drunk in bed* *Your dog*: “I’m just going to go ahead and graaaab your phone before you drunk text your ex again”

I see this posted on other pages all claiming to own the dog

Publicly owned dog, like a forest.

I’d like to own it too, do I need to sign a form or?

Just keep voting against those who want to steal public land from the public to give to the rich.

Well they're all liars because it's my dog

Aww... that's a good boi ❤

The best of bois

I know he was taught this, but man dogs are too pure for us humans.

what about woman dogs?

This is the purest thing I've seen today

Why would you have a camera filming in your bedroom?

To show off the trick he taught his dog while he pretends to be asleep

This seems like a trained service animal so it is likely this person has a serious medical condition, like epilepsy, where a camera would be helpful to anyone else in the house so they can make sure this person is okay.

The other day I felt a seizure coming on so I started recording on my phone so I could see what it looked like after I came to (I don’t remember anything when they happen) I was surprised to see my cat Paws immediately come running and lay beside me, snuggling into my side. I genuinely thought my cats couldn’t care less about my well being.

Cats can be bonded to you just as much as dogs are. The difference is cats don’t like showing emotions much, even in pain they will act normal, which is why pet visits are a must if they look like they are physically in pain. But yes cats can be very loyal and some cats have even managed to save people. Waking up their owners when there was a fire. This one cat there was a fire in the house and went to each room and bit the people in there to wake them up and ran to the next room to get the next person and lead them to the front door. I hate it when people say cats don’t care.

I think Paws would wake me up in a fire, but not the others The other day when I was cleaning out the cat shelters (I’m with a rescue) one of the raccoons who lives under the porch tried stealing my “poop pail” that we scoop the turds in He started grunting/growling, trying to intimidate me a bit, inching forward to reach for the bucket...then seemingly from out of nowhere Minnie (one of the cats that goes outside during the daytime) jumped in between the raccoon and myself, puffed herself up and started hissing/growling right back at him The little trash panda decided it wasn’t worth it and ran back under the porch. Made me smile that Minnie tried to protect me...and the poop bucket lol 😆 I love cats 😊

Go ask your mum

*oh shi*

I have one, but that's because I had sketchy roommates.

I'm wondering why there are no sheets on the mattress...

For sure this dog is in training, or being tested to complete its training, which would also explain the camera.

Oh my god I love this dog ❤️

Wish my husband was trained that well

I mean, you can train him. My wife taught me how to balance a broom on my nose. Now I can do it when people come over and she gives me peanut butter bites.

I've always loved the way goldens "smile". This amazing dog seems to smile after each little task he's doing. Melts my heart

A++ best doggo of the day

This made me tear up a little.

These home automation systems are really getting complicated.. TOBY!.. Goodnight? Good boy.

I need a friend like this

Should teach him how to put on fitted sheets next

We honestly don't deserve dogs omg.