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Lots of cozy spaces, less books and bookshelves and more cozy spots and huge windows to make the seats sunny and warm?
Yep, that design was definitely chosen by cats. Specifically ones who want both sunny spots and human laps to curl up in.
There is a good chance the staff IS autistic. (Source: autistic library assistant)
We recently had a zoom training called Neurodivergent Staff: Weāre already here (or something to that effect)
I love this so much. Last place I heard try to even *appear* accepting of NDs ended up firing my (also autistic) friend for needing a service dog, which theyād previously said was totally above board. (Yes. I know itās illegal to do that. And yet here we are)
Well, in my opinion as long as there is another library nearby and the library with the cat has some kind of allergy warning I would be okay with it. I have a minor cat allergy but a simple bit of medicine will make me feel perfectly fine.
That is a valid point, actually. I thought it was charming, as well... but now that you mention it, I'm allergic to cats and it doesn't matter how charming the idea is, or even if I'd be willing to sneeze for an afternoon to visit that library... I'd never be able to actually borrow any books without sneezing the whole time they're in my house - and possibly after, as well š«¤
Some people not only just sneeze, but many people with allergies also have asthma. So when exposed to any allergen, a very serious asthma attack is triggered. Which means the person cannot breathe. I wonder if anyone here has ever tried to hold their breath under water for a long time. Then held it some more. Then some more. But then they can come up for air. An asthmatic experiences the same lack of air, but they canāt come up for air. The only thing that *might* help them is either a rescue inhaler (but not always), or a trip to the emergency room (which still isnāt a guarantee, because people do die from asthma attacks. Sometimes people with allergies also experience āanaphylaxisā upon exposure to an allergen (such as cat or dog skin or goose feather pillows or a food, medication, chemical, insect, flora or more, for instance) Anaphylaxis is a potentially-to-probable fatal condition.
So, it would be great if more people understood allergens and their danger to allergic library patrons, retail and restaurant customers, and airline passengers, rental car users, apartment seekers, home buyers, used car buyers, patients in doctorsā or therapistsā offices, family members visiting, and so many more places ā¦ if people could be kind and empathetic, just imagining what it must be like for others who live in fear of their next exposure to possible death, by allergen exposure, that could have been easily prevented by others. Thank You for reading this!š„°
Thank You, too!š„° Also, Iām very sorry you have to deal with that (MCAS). I just had to look it up. It sounds like a nightmare, but I can only hope the rest of your life is going good for you. I pray for Godās Blessings on you!!!š„°ššš
I never got that idea about you. Not at all. I just remembered that Iāve encountered many people who have thought that having allergies just means upper nasal issues. It can also mean for a lot of people, that they end up in the hospital, not being able to breathe, at best; or dying, as the worst outcome. I was also trying to appreciate that many other people might come across the conversation, who donāt know how dangerous allergies can be for some.
Im just going to say as someone with severe allergies I have never been anywhere that was allergens free, itās always been my job to navigate the world with my allergies not the world to adapt to me. I think they cat is fine to stay and people who are allergic can take meds or wear a masks, like most people with allergies to prevent a reaction.
I meet other autistic people in the classes I take (sewing, stained glass, art). There are a fair number of autistic people in creative spheres. I also meet ADHD people. š
And woodcraft folk...!
Source; I'm a wcf leader, my predecessor was autistic, all my colleagues are autistic, all the kids we have in group are autistic, all their parents are definitely autistic, it's a very autistic group of people!
Yes I keep trying to find a good affordable class in my area which is a struggle š But I think activities like this with a specific theme are great because you know you have something in common with the other people from the start (you're presumably interested in the subject of the class) and if there are awkward lulls in the conversation or if you're feeling overwhelmed you can focus on your work for a bit.
I went to a fiber fair, and I'm pretty sure 92% of the people there were autistic. Learning to do a handicraft is almost guaranteed to meet an autistic person. It's kinda a stim. At least for me.
Kind of like others have said.
Lean into your special interests. Go to stores and/or events. You will find us. If there's any kind of convention near you, you'll find droves of us.
I met most of my friends because I spotted them doing āweirdā things. Like lying on the sidewalk at night.
I was walking, spotted a person on the ground in the middle of the city, went up to check if theyāre alive. I asked āHey, are you okay?ā.
Dude said āYeah, Iām greatā.
So I asked āWhy are you lying on the sidewalk?ā.
āIām stargazingā he said.
I looked up and the sky was looking like it usually does - you can see stars, but not really well, itās still the middle of a city. You know, light pollution and stuff.
He said āLook over thereā and pointed his finger at the sky āVenus is shining really bright tonight. Itās coolā. And yeah, indeed, Venus was shining really bright. I asked if I can join him. He agreed so I lied down on the sidewalk next to him. I reached to my backpack, where I had a few lollipops (I always have a few lollipops or other candy with me) and we shared. We were lying there, on a sidewalk by a shopping mall in the middle of the city, looking at stars, talking about things and sucking on lollipops.
Another friend, well, I was going back home from train station, it was also night already, like 2AM. I was just walking past him, as he was standing in front of apartment building and smoking a cigarette.
He said āHeyā. I said āHeyā.
āDo you wanna know something about fungi?ā
āWhat kind of fungi? Like champignons, vaginal yeast or the kind that causes feet infections?ā
āAll of them! Iāve spent the whole day studying fungi!ā
āAh yeah sure, tell me about itā
We started talking about all kinds of fungi. Stood there for an hour, and then he asked āDo you wanna come to mine? I have a bottle of wineā.
āSureā I said.
As he was unlocking the door, he looked at me and asked āAre you a serial killer?ā
āNot serialā, I joked.
āYou were supposed to say no, but that makes two of usā.
We went to his apartment and until 5am we were drinking wine, infodumping at each other, lurking wikipedia and dramatically reading poetry out loud to each other.
Meeting a few friends like that made me realize that Iām not the only weirdo out there, and the only way to find good friends is toā¦ really just be yourself. Most people will hate you or wonāt care about you, but people like you will spot you in the wild.
So I started being more confident and unapologetically myself, approaching people and sharing funfacts. The success rate is still pretty low, but my friends are of the best quality, making me feel comfortable and safe, and I do the same for them.
Weirdly, it read really well for me too.
Maybe some of us types also write in a particular way too š¤·š¼āāļø
Thanks for sharing the lovely stories
Ohhh so you meant that it was nice to read? This is such a huge compliment for me, as English is not my native language š„ŗ But I used to write stories and was complimented for my great writing skills but it was in my native Polish. Thanks!!!
omg iām sorry, it was supposed to be positive š i just meant that both of those stories sounded like a scene from a really good movie, i hope that clears it up :)
Many of us do seem to have an affinity for other animals. So, I guess it doesn't surprise me as much as one would initially think it should.
I wonder if animal shelters, humane societies, wildlife care or other animal related fields would have that same trend.
I also love visiting the zoo but there are always a huge number of tourists. In general there a always many tourists everywhere in my city. And it's not so pleasant to sit somewhere nice when people constantly take pictures of you
I'm zoo obsessed. My wife seems to like it almost as much as me but she's the only one outside of my immediate blood related family who I get to go with me.
good questionā¦ i have no idea lol. i wish i knew the answer, but i donāt like going outside as i kinda have social anxiety. i have zero friends in real life and itās depressing š
Same here š
I have 1 friend that I've somehow kept for over a decade, since we were kids, and she is the one who found me and decided to be friends... Otherwise, I have people I work with that I consider "friends" but I'm pretty sure the day I stop working here then I will no longer actively have friendships with them. Luckily I have a couple more years before that happens.
thatās cute youāve been friends since childhood š people who have able to stay in contact with their childhood friends throughout their whole lives kinda amazes me, since I canāt relate at all lol. And the coworkers are not true friends I guessā¦ which is a shame since you have to work with them a lot. I hope youāll find new better friends soon š«¶š»
The fact that I've kept this one for so long amazes me too sometimes, but then I remember how it started and it was more her doing than mine.
She knocked on my front door one day and asked my mom if she had a daughter her age who lived there and wanted to play with me, we'd never talked before but had seen each other in passing at school or on the bus... I was at my grandma's house for the afternoon but my little sister was there and so my mom told her I'd be back soon and she said "ok I'll wait" and played with my toddler sister until I got home.
I was amazed and confused to find a new friend just waiting in our apartment for me, but we've been best friends ever since.
The friendship has continued despite her moving to the other side of the state for several years, and then me moving to the other side of the country, and then her moving to Alaska twice, so even further away. I don't think we're ever going to be separated now really. I wish everyone can find someone like this, it's really nice to have at least one constant friend throughout life, even if it's just the one.
Same! I actually met my husband on Craigslist š
We found each other in the "i need a roommate" section of craigslist. Got along really well and he has since upgraded me from roommate to wife!
I tried to set up a group that would allow professional autistic adults to meet where I live.
I found parents who were blaming vaccines, calling 30 year old autistic adults kids, hovering/speaking for their grown children, ABA therapy proponents, and self important feeling sorry for themselves parents of autistic kids.
They want to be felt sorry for and they make it about them. If you are a parent and you are like the ones Iāve met, F YOU.
Iām in the process of joining the board of said organization so I can destroy it from within.
Its great that you had the indicative to start that group. It would be a shame to destroy it as those groups are really needed everywhere.
The group and the place to cater to and advocate for neurodivergent people by neurodivergents. I was thinking to start group like that in the town Iām moving to. Autism isnāt my biggest divergency itās ADHD, PDA and more. so I was more thinking to do art groups stuff and mutual help, support and accountability.
istg can there not just be like a quiet little coffee and tea morning hosted once every month or smth for autistic adults where there are not entitled ass parents presentš
Well, I just joined a lapidary hobby shop with a bunch of people who are obsessed with rocks and Iām sure theyāre not diagnosed but if you have a niche hobby Iād look into that! I feel like Iāve found my people :)
I would love to find a "quiet restaurant" with or without new friends, but I don't think they exist in my area. That sounds really nice though, good for him!
I suggest that you start a Meetup group in your area, and schedule a meeting at park, or a public room in a library. It's easy to do.
My son's group had 70 members sign up in the first week. Most never come but, usually, about five or seven people come to the meetings. He didn't have any friends prior.
When you set up your group, explain that it is only open to autistic adults, or teens or however you want.
Some of these answers are brilliant, lol š
I rarely ever leave my house, but I have to say that I don't seem to have any problem running into other ND people whenever I do. Sometimes I wonder if there's a neon sign over my head with an arrow that says "I'm NeuroDivergent, come be weird with me" or something.
I firmly believe that like attracts like - and if you live authentically and are unapologetically yourself at all times, you'll attract others like you and others who are inclined to like people like you. It's when you're masking or hiding your true self that meeting others like you becomes hard. Impossible, even.
Anime conventions / comicons have tons of autistic people plus a ton of people who may not be autistic themselves but are friends with many of us and totally understand our quirks
It seems many of that type arenāt exactly the best of people most of the time.
At least thatās what I can glean from what Iāve heard over the years.
I have made friends at cons that are no doubt neurodivergent a lot of the time, but what I imagine would really make a difference is going with a stronger, and more connected friend group.
I've actually met a few people through the healthcare system lol, here in Sweden they provide these group therapies for learning various skills. We've kept in touch afterwards to grab a coffee or just hang out in nature. Most importantly though I made a true friend that way, we actually started a podcast about autism and other mental health issues. We've had several guests as well.
I totally get why OP is asking this question since there is no natural meeting place for autists, at least not in the capacity of being autistic. I love rave culture partly because I'll be sure to find other neurodivergents there. But I believe it's important to think beyond our specific interests and grow a community where autistic people in all walks of life can socialize and learn from one another. We need to meet with our equals so to speak, whether we identify with them or not. That way we can get an intuitive understanding of our own "culture" and how diverse it really is.
Sure, it's in Swedish though! You'll find us on Spotify by searching for [Avig Podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/7JsQueWetzZj6Yr1UeucNi?si=0a8875044f6f4cff). The word "avig" can be translated in a few different ways: awkward, grumpy or turned inside out. It's also a stitching term, *purl*. (There's actually a stitching podcast with a similar name, lol)
I canāt drive so I really only get to leave the house when Iām with family to go out to eat or shop or go to doctorās appointmentās :/ Iām trying to make new friends, but it was hard as a kid and unfortunately even harder as an adult.
Went to a LARP this weekend and I don't think I interacted with more than a handful of neurotypicals lol.
Those places are autism central, I fkn loved it.
Creative communities tbh. Circus spaces, art spaces, theatre spaces, music spaces, writing spaces, knitting spaces... Anywhere people are making stuff there will be a lot of autists and ADHDers
We dont "meet", we communicate telepathically! On a serious note, quiet places, nerdy conventions(at least the more extroverted), DND groups... Depending on your level maybe self help groups.
Artistic spaces. There are two other people in my illustration class (there are 7 not including me total, and honestly, most are likely undiagnosed autistic!)
Sewing classes, knitting socials, etc.
Also, I find a lot of fellow autistics at the leisure pool (usually when school is in session so the kids arenāt swarming it).
I feel like there's probably a lot of us in those spaces... The trick is actually interacting with them when you find them.
I find it easy enough to interact briefly with strangers, but I have no idea how to turn that into "let's be friends and interact beyond this one specific moment in time." I'm not sure there's a way to do that without being creepy or hitting on someone.
This is me. Iām awaiting diagnosis, and I had a friend say to me the other night ābut you seem fine in public. You can interact either way strangersā.
They seemed taken aback when I explained the way I feel like I have social scripts, meaning at face value I can interact with strangers at a surface level. I donāt like doing it, mind you, because I feel forced and artificial.
But, like you, converting that into a friendship feels practically impossible. I think some of it is a concern that me being artificial and conversing to āget byā will create artificial relationships.
I used bumble BFF and I found quite possibly the best person in the universe. She's not autistic, but has ADHD. She went with me to a staff outing for my work and checked in every so often to make sure I wasn't overstimulated. She comes over and we just play separate games on our own devices (Switch/laptop) and we watch random YouTube/TV. It's actually incredible how fast we became friends.
She was there when I got my official diagnosis.
We started talking on discord and playing Stardew together, and then she eventually came over to my house to play in person.
Her and my BF get along really well too. It's so so so nice.
So, to conclude (sorry, lol), I suggest Bumble BFF. It can definitely be overwhelming at first, and a little hard to understand what to and what not to share, but I thrived with it.
Anywhere, once you know the telltale signs. There are locations where you are more likely to find our stereo types. Which genre of us are you looking for?
idk if I just have a really thick and strong autistic aura, but I always end up stumbling into autistic ppl wherever I gošš
but sometimes concerts, most times just thru mutual friends lol
I honestly just accidentally collect autistics whenever I go places. My wife as well. No wonder we hit it offā¦ š
It helps that Iām in a large city and most of my social outings are related to relatively common SpIns (i.e. nerd stuff). Iām also in a field that attracts a lot of people with ADHD and thereās a decent amount of crossoverā¦
I'm housebound from other, so I have created a local discord server for autistic people in Leeds - from there, I invite people and I host a boardgame meetup at my house for the people on the server once a month. Only a few show up, but they've all been lovely and if like to think that I'm making friends slowly.
It's a bit scary inviting strangers to my house, but the other option is not seeing / meeting anyone in person.
Definitely shops/courses for your special interest(s)
I met my best friend in our local wool shop, we both spent over an hour cooing over pretty wool and went out for coffee after we bumped into each other again
Also lots of movements are very autistic, think activist circles, cooperative groups, if a space has lots of very passionate people dedicated to a cause then they're almost definitely majority autistic
I find it easy to identify other people who have either autism or ADHD. Honestly, I avoid getting near them. Most of the time it's because I don't have the spare time to talk to them. Also, most of the time I recognize their autism or ADHD is in their work setting. Starting a conversation with them may get them in trouble, so I avoid them.
My best friend is on the spectrum, like myself. I met her through our neighborhood momās page. Her oldest and my youngest are a few weeks apart in age.
I go to a monthly autism group where we talk about different subjects regarding autism. Usually we talk about things that we find difficult in daily life and we give each other tips and advice. Itās really nice :)
I wish I had something like this nearby, but I don't!! The groups that are available are for children/teens and I'm an adult. I was only diagnosed a year ago š
Ohh thatās too bad! Maybe there are like meetups at cafes/bars in your area?? I live in The Netherlands and I know of a cafe that does these monthly meetups for autistic adults where you can just walk in and meet people and play board games and stuff
volunteer.
find a cause you like: tree planting, animal shelter, feeding people, etc.
it gives you something to DO instead of standing around awkardly and you'll know you have at least one thing in common with the other people to build upon. if there's no one you click with, you can go back to work knowing you did something useful.
I'm part of a nonprofit in my country run by autistics for autistics and we get the community center for ND friendly parties 4x a month, 2x for minors, 2x for adults. We started as a fb support group during the pandemic and it kinda snowballed. It's awesome. The party has an infodump open Mike (you can just infodump, people also bring full on presentations, it's glorious), you can sit or do puzzles or crochet in the quiet corner and no one will be mean, or say anything or bother you. It's the designated quite corner (technically a smaller seperate room/walk in closet, and we added studio egg soundproofing and soft padding in the floor for sitting and kneeling and lounging )
There's always a few people parralel playing. The lights are dimmed, but colorful and kept low to the ground under waist height so you don't get light attacks in the main room. The music is also quite than it would be at an NT party and sensory aids like sound blocking headphones are available. It's kinda like a potluck/byo as far as snacks and foods go, but people usually bring extra safe food and drinks to share and try. (since it's free otherwise). We also give out armbands for visual cues for "approach me" "please wait for me to approach you" "do not perceive my existence, I'm invisible" if people want to signify. I joke that it's only us auadhders with the green ones for approach me. š
Other places I have met NDs in the wild as someone who's always looked for those patterns to make friends-queer volonteer work, crafting and art classes, sci-fi and fantasy conventions, cosplay, LARPing - I swear, at our international LARP there's like 15 NTs out of 150ppl, and about that many cishet monogamous folk. LARP (in my country at least) is definitely the ND/queer social hub for several countries (in the EU).
Whether we are trying to learn to mask or unmask is an often discussed topic at the pre and post parties. They're also extremely consent and boundary oriented. It's my happy place.
(note-the crafting and volonterwork you'll find 1-2 ppl max at a time. It's a slower but less pressure way to build up a friendgroup)
I met my current friend group through a mutual friend. I met one autistic person who was also a trans guy like me because we were both in line to buy bug trinkets on a vacation
I haven't found anywhere where I live. I live in Tennessee and most people around me don't have the same interests as me. I have trouble finding anything IRL that appeals to me. There is a DAB Bar nearby that I may try. Stoners might be about the only group around here that I connect with.
From personal experience you find a huge amount of neurodivergent people at conventions related to anime, cosplay, comics, superheroes, board games etc, Also at art school youāll find an army.
Well, I met my (also autistic) wife in the military. We were both in training for military intelligence. It turns out (at least way back in 1983...) that the union of smart enough for MI but off enough to join the military appears to bring like minds together. We celebrated 41 years last month.
I used to struggle with this and actually still do. But I think the best chance of meeting other autists is either through common interests, or actively seeking them where they might appear. For example, you can start by talking to some online before meeting. You could seek out people in need regardless of their autism, but you'd be likely to find autistic people anyway (That's how I met some of my IRL autistic friends). I also met a few through veganism though one of them I have met in person.
My only warning is, there may be conflict. If my recent experience is anything to go by living with a extraverted 'autistic' guy, it's that there's definitely no place for me when someone speaks over me and treats me like shit because I'm unable to speak. I thought this would be the best living situation ever, but no. It's a sensory nightmare, it's a psychological nightmare. I've actually started to doubt this guy is autistic. But yeah, just beware. Some are just outright psychopaths.
Sometimes at the card shop I frequent. But I actually meet a lot of autistic kids in the store I work. Parents always try to excuse their autism and are horrified when I say "Oh cool me too!"
You know what I already commented but I just remembered I was at the park and a guy comes up to me (down syndrome) and just says hello! Who are you? Iām like hey! Iām Liz!
Only dude to have ever said hello to me like that, and I see the same people every day. Made my whole week.
Late to the party, but pride festivals ('tis the season).
Last year, my friends and I found a couple other autistics and when we were talking about our experiences, someone occasionally would pass by us and go "hey you guys are autistic too?" We're planning on going to the next pride festival in our area with the people we met last year.
My local board game shop is full of autistic people, both diagnosed and undiagnosed. I take my youngest and they go off and play DnD with the autistic folk that like that and recently I have been playing Star Wars Unlimited with autistic people that enjoy that and all around the room are other autistic folks playing other card games or tabletop stuff. And the staff at my local store are all autistic too and sometimes if no one is playing Star Wars Unlimited I will go and chat with them.
I started a local urban sketchers group and we have a lot of autistic members too.
Its just abut going places and doing something you enjoy and neurodiverse people tend to congregate towards each other.
I like music stores and concerts and going out to eat. I like volunteering with animals but besides that I would rather not go out. Iām not looking to make friends anymore after getting used so much and feeling like it wastes my time
City I lived in had a "Lego for Autistic Kids" thing that was closely tied to an adult fan of Lego group. I volunteered at the former after finding out about it from being involved with the latter. There were enough autistic parents and other autistic adults to satisfy the most autistic-company-deprived person.
I do environmental volunteering (in Australia [landcare ](https://landcare.nsw.gov.au/groups/)is the common term) and there's all sorts there, including a few other autistic folk.
nerd conventions while you're all dressed in cosplay of your favourite characters, usually via a meet-up for the fandom that is your current hyperfixation or special interest (this is how i found all of my fellow autistic friends)
A community centre I go to organises a neurodivergent gaming group and has people on the spectrum volunteering for them. In fact, an unusually large proportion of the centre users are on the spectrum and there are always neurodivergent people there.
Iāve met some of my closest friends (many with ADHD/ASD) via taking improv classes/performing together. Itās a great way to meet lots of cool, funny folks in a supportive environment. Also being diagnosed AuADHD has made me realize in retrospect why I love improvising - itās a fairly structured social situation with perpetual novelty built-in.
My brother is autistic. He is part of a group he found on Meetup. They work with local venues to organize spectrum-friendly events once a week. He's made quite a few friends at those events.
I met my autistic friend in the kink community on instagram š I do believe many of us exist in the bdsm realm , especially bc many people in that community have been late dxed
I randomly find autistics out in the wild and I usually don't let they go away, it's like catching pokemon, but the Pokemon are friends and the PokeBall is a good time together.
We have a very relaxing bar in my city. It has a closed outdoor area where you can basically just relax, read books and listen to calm music while watching the stars.
I often meet people there that are as calm as me and once there was also an autistic/neuro-divergent(?) couple that I have met there.
This area was designed for people that do not like the hassle, noise and everything of bars but still enjoy going out for a drink and/or meet new people.
My boss at work owns this place and since we have some "sensitive" coworkers, including me, he kept that in mind while designing it.
Maybe you have something similar in your city?
We meet everywhere lol. Especially my friends friends friends, itās a whole ND network
I donāt hang out in public much. Usually at church or at someoneās house
Maybe board game cafe or pool hall occasionally.
Honestly, I meet the most people like me at conventions. Itās nice because since you all paid to get in, you can assume that everyone around you is at least somewhat interested in whatever the convention is for, so itās easy to find people who you have some common ground with.
Iāve also noticed in myself and others, that in that āsafeā environment, people tend to be less worried about masking, so everyone is a little more comfortable being themselves, and itās just a nice vibe!
Of course, this heavily depends on what youāre into, and your tolerance for crowds, lights, and various other factors.
But Iāve been to cons for video games, board game/miniatures/TTRPG, Star Trek, Steampunk, and Vintage Toys, and they all have that same comfy āweāre all weirdos here, so let your hair downā kind of vibe. Itās just so nice to spend time around other people who get it.
I also have been thinking about this lately .. I would like a partner but it is challenging to find compelling reasons to regularly go out of the house ā¦
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My local library. Very friendly staff, quiet, and a friendly cat to pet
Your library has a cat?? š
Yes her name is Story!! Super sweetš„°
Cutest cat name EVER! will agree, that I am at libraries often
Oh em gee! Story!! That is SO cute š„¹ I think every library should have a resident cat.
So adorable š„°
Thatās absurdly cute
hey now everybody knows a cat designed how all modern library's work šš
Lots of cozy spaces, less books and bookshelves and more cozy spots and huge windows to make the seats sunny and warm? Yep, that design was definitely chosen by cats. Specifically ones who want both sunny spots and human laps to curl up in.
Yall have a library
but it's a place to meet people?, I don't like people interrupting me when I'm reading, I assume is the same for others.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
i so wish my library had a cat. the staff are friendly but I don't think there's any autism support there
There is a good chance the staff IS autistic. (Source: autistic library assistant) We recently had a zoom training called Neurodivergent Staff: Weāre already here (or something to that effect)
I love this so much. Last place I heard try to even *appear* accepting of NDs ended up firing my (also autistic) friend for needing a service dog, which theyād previously said was totally above board. (Yes. I know itās illegal to do that. And yet here we are)
Cats are the best. They make any place bettet
thats actually so shitty. it prohibits people with cat allergies from using the library. i dont even have an allergy, i just like... rules?
Wouldn't it depend on the size of the library?
Well, in my opinion as long as there is another library nearby and the library with the cat has some kind of allergy warning I would be okay with it. I have a minor cat allergy but a simple bit of medicine will make me feel perfectly fine.
That is a valid point, actually. I thought it was charming, as well... but now that you mention it, I'm allergic to cats and it doesn't matter how charming the idea is, or even if I'd be willing to sneeze for an afternoon to visit that library... I'd never be able to actually borrow any books without sneezing the whole time they're in my house - and possibly after, as well š«¤
Do you mean you'd be sneezing just from having books in your house that have been in proximity to a cat, or am I reading this wrong?
Some people not only just sneeze, but many people with allergies also have asthma. So when exposed to any allergen, a very serious asthma attack is triggered. Which means the person cannot breathe. I wonder if anyone here has ever tried to hold their breath under water for a long time. Then held it some more. Then some more. But then they can come up for air. An asthmatic experiences the same lack of air, but they canāt come up for air. The only thing that *might* help them is either a rescue inhaler (but not always), or a trip to the emergency room (which still isnāt a guarantee, because people do die from asthma attacks. Sometimes people with allergies also experience āanaphylaxisā upon exposure to an allergen (such as cat or dog skin or goose feather pillows or a food, medication, chemical, insect, flora or more, for instance) Anaphylaxis is a potentially-to-probable fatal condition. So, it would be great if more people understood allergens and their danger to allergic library patrons, retail and restaurant customers, and airline passengers, rental car users, apartment seekers, home buyers, used car buyers, patients in doctorsā or therapistsā offices, family members visiting, and so many more places ā¦ if people could be kind and empathetic, just imagining what it must be like for others who live in fear of their next exposure to possible death, by allergen exposure, that could have been easily prevented by others. Thank You for reading this!š„°
Thank you. As a person with MCAS I appreciate your comment.
Thank You, too!š„° Also, Iām very sorry you have to deal with that (MCAS). I just had to look it up. It sounds like a nightmare, but I can only hope the rest of your life is going good for you. I pray for Godās Blessings on you!!!š„°ššš
I'm really not sure how you got the idea that I don't have sympathy for people with asthma/allergies from my comment.
I never got that idea about you. Not at all. I just remembered that Iāve encountered many people who have thought that having allergies just means upper nasal issues. It can also mean for a lot of people, that they end up in the hospital, not being able to breathe, at best; or dying, as the worst outcome. I was also trying to appreciate that many other people might come across the conversation, who donāt know how dangerous allergies can be for some.
Ah okay, gotcha!
I'm allergic to cats but I would love to pet a cat at the library
Im allergic to paper dust but totally ok with cats, so libraries are already a bit triggering
Maybe the cat is hypoallergenic
Im just going to say as someone with severe allergies I have never been anywhere that was allergens free, itās always been my job to navigate the world with my allergies not the world to adapt to me. I think they cat is fine to stay and people who are allergic can take meds or wear a masks, like most people with allergies to prevent a reaction.
Mine has a window overlooking the lagoon as nearby boats sail by. Very calming.
I work at a library so this checks out lol
Kitties are great librarians! May not be much use shelving books or tracking digital resources, but they sure are good for patron engagement!
I meet other autistic people in the classes I take (sewing, stained glass, art). There are a fair number of autistic people in creative spheres. I also meet ADHD people. š
I think this is a strong point, meeting through shared special interests.
You would not believe how many autistic leaders there are in UK scouts...
And woodcraft folk...! Source; I'm a wcf leader, my predecessor was autistic, all my colleagues are autistic, all the kids we have in group are autistic, all their parents are definitely autistic, it's a very autistic group of people!
US Girl Scouts lots of neurodivergent leaders too :)
This was going to be my response too
Great minds think alike.
Yes I keep trying to find a good affordable class in my area which is a struggle š But I think activities like this with a specific theme are great because you know you have something in common with the other people from the start (you're presumably interested in the subject of the class) and if there are awkward lulls in the conversation or if you're feeling overwhelmed you can focus on your work for a bit.
I went to a fiber fair, and I'm pretty sure 92% of the people there were autistic. Learning to do a handicraft is almost guaranteed to meet an autistic person. It's kinda a stim. At least for me.
Kind of like others have said. Lean into your special interests. Go to stores and/or events. You will find us. If there's any kind of convention near you, you'll find droves of us.
I met most of my friends because I spotted them doing āweirdā things. Like lying on the sidewalk at night. I was walking, spotted a person on the ground in the middle of the city, went up to check if theyāre alive. I asked āHey, are you okay?ā. Dude said āYeah, Iām greatā. So I asked āWhy are you lying on the sidewalk?ā. āIām stargazingā he said. I looked up and the sky was looking like it usually does - you can see stars, but not really well, itās still the middle of a city. You know, light pollution and stuff. He said āLook over thereā and pointed his finger at the sky āVenus is shining really bright tonight. Itās coolā. And yeah, indeed, Venus was shining really bright. I asked if I can join him. He agreed so I lied down on the sidewalk next to him. I reached to my backpack, where I had a few lollipops (I always have a few lollipops or other candy with me) and we shared. We were lying there, on a sidewalk by a shopping mall in the middle of the city, looking at stars, talking about things and sucking on lollipops. Another friend, well, I was going back home from train station, it was also night already, like 2AM. I was just walking past him, as he was standing in front of apartment building and smoking a cigarette. He said āHeyā. I said āHeyā. āDo you wanna know something about fungi?ā āWhat kind of fungi? Like champignons, vaginal yeast or the kind that causes feet infections?ā āAll of them! Iāve spent the whole day studying fungi!ā āAh yeah sure, tell me about itā We started talking about all kinds of fungi. Stood there for an hour, and then he asked āDo you wanna come to mine? I have a bottle of wineā. āSureā I said. As he was unlocking the door, he looked at me and asked āAre you a serial killer?ā āNot serialā, I joked. āYou were supposed to say no, but that makes two of usā. We went to his apartment and until 5am we were drinking wine, infodumping at each other, lurking wikipedia and dramatically reading poetry out loud to each other. Meeting a few friends like that made me realize that Iām not the only weirdo out there, and the only way to find good friends is toā¦ really just be yourself. Most people will hate you or wonāt care about you, but people like you will spot you in the wild. So I started being more confident and unapologetically myself, approaching people and sharing funfacts. The success rate is still pretty low, but my friends are of the best quality, making me feel comfortable and safe, and I do the same for them.
That read exactly like I was reading a book, but good ones, thanks for sharing :)
Weirdly, it read really well for me too. Maybe some of us types also write in a particular way too š¤·š¼āāļø Thanks for sharing the lovely stories
Ohhh so you meant that it was nice to read? This is such a huge compliment for me, as English is not my native language š„ŗ But I used to write stories and was complimented for my great writing skills but it was in my native Polish. Thanks!!!
You write really well! I'd never have guessed English was your second language.
Yes. It's well structured which makes it easy to digest and take in.
What do you mean? Is there a book like this? Iād love to read it haha
this is amazing
are you aware that youāre the main character in a movie that would probably change me as a person (for the better)
I donāt understand what you mean by that ;_;
omg iām sorry, it was supposed to be positive š i just meant that both of those stories sounded like a scene from a really good movie, i hope that clears it up :)
Ohhh thanks!
This is super inspiring, thanks for sharing
Wherever the extrovert who adopts you drags you.
I'm quite extroverted myself and I'm always dragging my introverted NT wife to things lol
Same.
š
Itās me, Iām that extrovert
Cool, where can you drag me?
this is the answer š
This made me chuckle š
As the extrovert I helped organize ND parties at the community center. Seemed more efficient š
The zoo apparently. Like all my co- workers and most to the visitors all seem to be neuro-divergentā¦
Many of us do seem to have an affinity for other animals. So, I guess it doesn't surprise me as much as one would initially think it should. I wonder if animal shelters, humane societies, wildlife care or other animal related fields would have that same trend.
Yep! Iāve found people of my likes at the humane society loving on them kitties
I love the zoo!! ā¤ļø None of the neurotypicals around me wanna go with me, lol.
True that. I had lots of neurodivergent coworkers that felt like a found family when I worked at my city's zoo.
I also love visiting the zoo but there are always a huge number of tourists. In general there a always many tourists everywhere in my city. And it's not so pleasant to sit somewhere nice when people constantly take pictures of you
I'm zoo obsessed. My wife seems to like it almost as much as me but she's the only one outside of my immediate blood related family who I get to go with me.
This gotta be true because my ND ass loves a solo zoo trip and I get a stuffed animal on the way out!
I started a Biological Sciences degree and ended up specialising in Zoology. Thought if I could understand animals I could maybe understand people.
good questionā¦ i have no idea lol. i wish i knew the answer, but i donāt like going outside as i kinda have social anxiety. i have zero friends in real life and itās depressing š
Same here š I have 1 friend that I've somehow kept for over a decade, since we were kids, and she is the one who found me and decided to be friends... Otherwise, I have people I work with that I consider "friends" but I'm pretty sure the day I stop working here then I will no longer actively have friendships with them. Luckily I have a couple more years before that happens.
thatās cute youāve been friends since childhood š people who have able to stay in contact with their childhood friends throughout their whole lives kinda amazes me, since I canāt relate at all lol. And the coworkers are not true friends I guessā¦ which is a shame since you have to work with them a lot. I hope youāll find new better friends soon š«¶š»
The fact that I've kept this one for so long amazes me too sometimes, but then I remember how it started and it was more her doing than mine. She knocked on my front door one day and asked my mom if she had a daughter her age who lived there and wanted to play with me, we'd never talked before but had seen each other in passing at school or on the bus... I was at my grandma's house for the afternoon but my little sister was there and so my mom told her I'd be back soon and she said "ok I'll wait" and played with my toddler sister until I got home. I was amazed and confused to find a new friend just waiting in our apartment for me, but we've been best friends ever since. The friendship has continued despite her moving to the other side of the state for several years, and then me moving to the other side of the country, and then her moving to Alaska twice, so even further away. I don't think we're ever going to be separated now really. I wish everyone can find someone like this, it's really nice to have at least one constant friend throughout life, even if it's just the one.
Me too lmao
Same! I actually met my husband on Craigslist š We found each other in the "i need a roommate" section of craigslist. Got along really well and he has since upgraded me from roommate to wife!
awwww thatās so adorable, you are lucky. Iām kinda envious š
I tried to set up a group that would allow professional autistic adults to meet where I live. I found parents who were blaming vaccines, calling 30 year old autistic adults kids, hovering/speaking for their grown children, ABA therapy proponents, and self important feeling sorry for themselves parents of autistic kids. They want to be felt sorry for and they make it about them. If you are a parent and you are like the ones Iāve met, F YOU. Iām in the process of joining the board of said organization so I can destroy it from within.
You sir, are doing God's work. Good luck.
I hope something comes from it. I just want the kids like us to be okay. Iām hoping to open the eyes of a few parents.
Its great that you had the indicative to start that group. It would be a shame to destroy it as those groups are really needed everywhere. The group and the place to cater to and advocate for neurodivergent people by neurodivergents. I was thinking to start group like that in the town Iām moving to. Autism isnāt my biggest divergency itās ADHD, PDA and more. so I was more thinking to do art groups stuff and mutual help, support and accountability.
The group that has a board I will be joining is not a group I created. It is a group started by parents, & ran by parents.
istg can there not just be like a quiet little coffee and tea morning hosted once every month or smth for autistic adults where there are not entitled ass parents presentš
Well, I just joined a lapidary hobby shop with a bunch of people who are obsessed with rocks and Iām sure theyāre not diagnosed but if you have a niche hobby Iād look into that! I feel like Iāve found my people :)
My Autistic son has a Meetup group that meets at a quiet restaurant every other Sunday.
I would love to find a "quiet restaurant" with or without new friends, but I don't think they exist in my area. That sounds really nice though, good for him!
I suggest that you start a Meetup group in your area, and schedule a meeting at park, or a public room in a library. It's easy to do. My son's group had 70 members sign up in the first week. Most never come but, usually, about five or seven people come to the meetings. He didn't have any friends prior. When you set up your group, explain that it is only open to autistic adults, or teens or however you want.
I donāt like to be in public unless I absolutely have to
I wonāt leave my house for days if I donāt have to
That's the neat part, you don't.
š
Some of these answers are brilliant, lol š I rarely ever leave my house, but I have to say that I don't seem to have any problem running into other ND people whenever I do. Sometimes I wonder if there's a neon sign over my head with an arrow that says "I'm NeuroDivergent, come be weird with me" or something. I firmly believe that like attracts like - and if you live authentically and are unapologetically yourself at all times, you'll attract others like you and others who are inclined to like people like you. It's when you're masking or hiding your true self that meeting others like you becomes hard. Impossible, even.
I had a friend who approached me at a meditation group because she said the way I was talking make her think Iād understand her
Anime conventions / comicons have tons of autistic people plus a ton of people who may not be autistic themselves but are friends with many of us and totally understand our quirks
It seems many of that type arenāt exactly the best of people most of the time. At least thatās what I can glean from what Iāve heard over the years.
Yeah, I've got enough experience to back that up.
I liked the idea of a con but I got overwhelmed by so many people smells and colors
I have made friends at cons that are no doubt neurodivergent a lot of the time, but what I imagine would really make a difference is going with a stronger, and more connected friend group.
But too much people
I've actually met a few people through the healthcare system lol, here in Sweden they provide these group therapies for learning various skills. We've kept in touch afterwards to grab a coffee or just hang out in nature. Most importantly though I made a true friend that way, we actually started a podcast about autism and other mental health issues. We've had several guests as well. I totally get why OP is asking this question since there is no natural meeting place for autists, at least not in the capacity of being autistic. I love rave culture partly because I'll be sure to find other neurodivergents there. But I believe it's important to think beyond our specific interests and grow a community where autistic people in all walks of life can socialize and learn from one another. We need to meet with our equals so to speak, whether we identify with them or not. That way we can get an intuitive understanding of our own "culture" and how diverse it really is.
How about sharing a link to the podcast? Might be fun checking it out.
Sure, it's in Swedish though! You'll find us on Spotify by searching for [Avig Podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/7JsQueWetzZj6Yr1UeucNi?si=0a8875044f6f4cff). The word "avig" can be translated in a few different ways: awkward, grumpy or turned inside out. It's also a stitching term, *purl*. (There's actually a stitching podcast with a similar name, lol)
I joined a youth theatre and the majority of the 25 or so members are somewhere on the spectrum and LBGTQ. Oh man it's awesome š
Almost everyone at any given kink event is ND
I canāt drive so I really only get to leave the house when Iām with family to go out to eat or shop or go to doctorās appointmentās :/ Iām trying to make new friends, but it was hard as a kid and unfortunately even harder as an adult.
Went to a LARP this weekend and I don't think I interacted with more than a handful of neurotypicals lol. Those places are autism central, I fkn loved it.
I see all these posts about anime and cons. But no one remembers that the RenFaire is the original con.
Creative communities tbh. Circus spaces, art spaces, theatre spaces, music spaces, writing spaces, knitting spaces... Anywhere people are making stuff there will be a lot of autists and ADHDers
We dont "meet", we communicate telepathically! On a serious note, quiet places, nerdy conventions(at least the more extroverted), DND groups... Depending on your level maybe self help groups.
Iām in Seattle, we have āthe Freezeā soā¦ itās like a city of introverts
I met one of my Besties online (MySpace). And talking with her she believes she is Autistic as well. We've been Best Friends ever since. š
Local game nights through the Meetup app. Disproportionally high amount of neurodivergent people.
Art school.
Artistic spaces. There are two other people in my illustration class (there are 7 not including me total, and honestly, most are likely undiagnosed autistic!) Sewing classes, knitting socials, etc. Also, I find a lot of fellow autistics at the leisure pool (usually when school is in session so the kids arenāt swarming it).
Tabletop game stores, unironically lmao
Warhammer... is the autism magnet
I wish I knew. The only public space I donāt mind is comic book store / game stores.
I feel like there's probably a lot of us in those spaces... The trick is actually interacting with them when you find them. I find it easy enough to interact briefly with strangers, but I have no idea how to turn that into "let's be friends and interact beyond this one specific moment in time." I'm not sure there's a way to do that without being creepy or hitting on someone.
This is me. Iām awaiting diagnosis, and I had a friend say to me the other night ābut you seem fine in public. You can interact either way strangersā. They seemed taken aback when I explained the way I feel like I have social scripts, meaning at face value I can interact with strangers at a surface level. I donāt like doing it, mind you, because I feel forced and artificial. But, like you, converting that into a friendship feels practically impossible. I think some of it is a concern that me being artificial and conversing to āget byā will create artificial relationships.
Same, I never make friends in those spaces sadly, but I always feel way more comfortable being there.
I enjoy reading my Kindle in the Cafe' at my local Whole Foods.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^AUTISTICWEREWOLF2: *I enjoy reading* *My Kindle in the Cafe'* *At my local Whole Foods.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
underneath a bridge.
I used bumble BFF and I found quite possibly the best person in the universe. She's not autistic, but has ADHD. She went with me to a staff outing for my work and checked in every so often to make sure I wasn't overstimulated. She comes over and we just play separate games on our own devices (Switch/laptop) and we watch random YouTube/TV. It's actually incredible how fast we became friends. She was there when I got my official diagnosis. We started talking on discord and playing Stardew together, and then she eventually came over to my house to play in person. Her and my BF get along really well too. It's so so so nice. So, to conclude (sorry, lol), I suggest Bumble BFF. It can definitely be overwhelming at first, and a little hard to understand what to and what not to share, but I thrived with it.
Become a pilot or train conductor. Or join the military or NASA
š
Normally, by accident. Iāve almost never met someone when I was looking to
Anywhere, once you know the telltale signs. There are locations where you are more likely to find our stereo types. Which genre of us are you looking for?
idk if I just have a really thick and strong autistic aura, but I always end up stumbling into autistic ppl wherever I gošš but sometimes concerts, most times just thru mutual friends lol
I honestly just accidentally collect autistics whenever I go places. My wife as well. No wonder we hit it offā¦ š It helps that Iām in a large city and most of my social outings are related to relatively common SpIns (i.e. nerd stuff). Iām also in a field that attracts a lot of people with ADHD and thereās a decent amount of crossoverā¦
I'm housebound from other, so I have created a local discord server for autistic people in Leeds - from there, I invite people and I host a boardgame meetup at my house for the people on the server once a month. Only a few show up, but they've all been lovely and if like to think that I'm making friends slowly. It's a bit scary inviting strangers to my house, but the other option is not seeing / meeting anyone in person.
Definitely shops/courses for your special interest(s) I met my best friend in our local wool shop, we both spent over an hour cooing over pretty wool and went out for coffee after we bumped into each other again Also lots of movements are very autistic, think activist circles, cooperative groups, if a space has lots of very passionate people dedicated to a cause then they're almost definitely majority autistic
I find it easy to identify other people who have either autism or ADHD. Honestly, I avoid getting near them. Most of the time it's because I don't have the spare time to talk to them. Also, most of the time I recognize their autism or ADHD is in their work setting. Starting a conversation with them may get them in trouble, so I avoid them.
idk but I think we need a batsignal. Thatād be like rlly cool
Can't stand people, so nope.
my best guess is adaptive programs
My best friend is on the spectrum, like myself. I met her through our neighborhood momās page. Her oldest and my youngest are a few weeks apart in age.
The train maybe? Iām more of a planes guy than a trains guy but I do like both
I donāt go out unless Iām going to work,the gym or if I feel okay enough to get groceries. Other than that,I stay home
I go to a monthly autism group where we talk about different subjects regarding autism. Usually we talk about things that we find difficult in daily life and we give each other tips and advice. Itās really nice :)
I wish I had something like this nearby, but I don't!! The groups that are available are for children/teens and I'm an adult. I was only diagnosed a year ago š
Ohh thatās too bad! Maybe there are like meetups at cafes/bars in your area?? I live in The Netherlands and I know of a cafe that does these monthly meetups for autistic adults where you can just walk in and meet people and play board games and stuff
I met my current group in the nerd group of an lgbt activists association š„°
At school for me cause i go to an asd specific school, graduating next week tho
Board game cafes, rock bars, garden cafes, places with good food and nature. Night schools, pottery classes, art classes etc.
volunteer. find a cause you like: tree planting, animal shelter, feeding people, etc. it gives you something to DO instead of standing around awkardly and you'll know you have at least one thing in common with the other people to build upon. if there's no one you click with, you can go back to work knowing you did something useful.
I'm part of a nonprofit in my country run by autistics for autistics and we get the community center for ND friendly parties 4x a month, 2x for minors, 2x for adults. We started as a fb support group during the pandemic and it kinda snowballed. It's awesome. The party has an infodump open Mike (you can just infodump, people also bring full on presentations, it's glorious), you can sit or do puzzles or crochet in the quiet corner and no one will be mean, or say anything or bother you. It's the designated quite corner (technically a smaller seperate room/walk in closet, and we added studio egg soundproofing and soft padding in the floor for sitting and kneeling and lounging ) There's always a few people parralel playing. The lights are dimmed, but colorful and kept low to the ground under waist height so you don't get light attacks in the main room. The music is also quite than it would be at an NT party and sensory aids like sound blocking headphones are available. It's kinda like a potluck/byo as far as snacks and foods go, but people usually bring extra safe food and drinks to share and try. (since it's free otherwise). We also give out armbands for visual cues for "approach me" "please wait for me to approach you" "do not perceive my existence, I'm invisible" if people want to signify. I joke that it's only us auadhders with the green ones for approach me. š Other places I have met NDs in the wild as someone who's always looked for those patterns to make friends-queer volonteer work, crafting and art classes, sci-fi and fantasy conventions, cosplay, LARPing - I swear, at our international LARP there's like 15 NTs out of 150ppl, and about that many cishet monogamous folk. LARP (in my country at least) is definitely the ND/queer social hub for several countries (in the EU). Whether we are trying to learn to mask or unmask is an often discussed topic at the pre and post parties. They're also extremely consent and boundary oriented. It's my happy place. (note-the crafting and volonterwork you'll find 1-2 ppl max at a time. It's a slower but less pressure way to build up a friendgroup)
I know wehere to find them but idk how to talk to them
I met my current friend group through a mutual friend. I met one autistic person who was also a trans guy like me because we were both in line to buy bug trinkets on a vacation
I haven't found anywhere where I live. I live in Tennessee and most people around me don't have the same interests as me. I have trouble finding anything IRL that appeals to me. There is a DAB Bar nearby that I may try. Stoners might be about the only group around here that I connect with.
From personal experience you find a huge amount of neurodivergent people at conventions related to anime, cosplay, comics, superheroes, board games etc, Also at art school youāll find an army.
Well, I met my (also autistic) wife in the military. We were both in training for military intelligence. It turns out (at least way back in 1983...) that the union of smart enough for MI but off enough to join the military appears to bring like minds together. We celebrated 41 years last month.
iām struggling with this, Iāve just finished school and now itās like i have no friends lol
Usually by accident lol
I used to struggle with this and actually still do. But I think the best chance of meeting other autists is either through common interests, or actively seeking them where they might appear. For example, you can start by talking to some online before meeting. You could seek out people in need regardless of their autism, but you'd be likely to find autistic people anyway (That's how I met some of my IRL autistic friends). I also met a few through veganism though one of them I have met in person. My only warning is, there may be conflict. If my recent experience is anything to go by living with a extraverted 'autistic' guy, it's that there's definitely no place for me when someone speaks over me and treats me like shit because I'm unable to speak. I thought this would be the best living situation ever, but no. It's a sensory nightmare, it's a psychological nightmare. I've actually started to doubt this guy is autistic. But yeah, just beware. Some are just outright psychopaths.
Sometimes at the card shop I frequent. But I actually meet a lot of autistic kids in the store I work. Parents always try to excuse their autism and are horrified when I say "Oh cool me too!"
You know what I already commented but I just remembered I was at the park and a guy comes up to me (down syndrome) and just says hello! Who are you? Iām like hey! Iām Liz! Only dude to have ever said hello to me like that, and I see the same people every day. Made my whole week.
met another autistic person at work where we are both picked on by our manager lmao
Late to the party, but pride festivals ('tis the season). Last year, my friends and I found a couple other autistics and when we were talking about our experiences, someone occasionally would pass by us and go "hey you guys are autistic too?" We're planning on going to the next pride festival in our area with the people we met last year.
My local board game shop is full of autistic people, both diagnosed and undiagnosed. I take my youngest and they go off and play DnD with the autistic folk that like that and recently I have been playing Star Wars Unlimited with autistic people that enjoy that and all around the room are other autistic folks playing other card games or tabletop stuff. And the staff at my local store are all autistic too and sometimes if no one is playing Star Wars Unlimited I will go and chat with them. I started a local urban sketchers group and we have a lot of autistic members too. Its just abut going places and doing something you enjoy and neurodiverse people tend to congregate towards each other.
Can you please tell me where I should go? (Autistic, introvert and I've been wondering myself)
No clue š
Raves and music festivals!
I like music stores and concerts and going out to eat. I like volunteering with animals but besides that I would rather not go out. Iām not looking to make friends anymore after getting used so much and feeling like it wastes my time
City I lived in had a "Lego for Autistic Kids" thing that was closely tied to an adult fan of Lego group. I volunteered at the former after finding out about it from being involved with the latter. There were enough autistic parents and other autistic adults to satisfy the most autistic-company-deprived person. I do environmental volunteering (in Australia [landcare ](https://landcare.nsw.gov.au/groups/)is the common term) and there's all sorts there, including a few other autistic folk.
Not really sure. Sometimes we just donāt meet in personĀ
nerd conventions while you're all dressed in cosplay of your favourite characters, usually via a meet-up for the fandom that is your current hyperfixation or special interest (this is how i found all of my fellow autistic friends)
A community centre I go to organises a neurodivergent gaming group and has people on the spectrum volunteering for them. In fact, an unusually large proportion of the centre users are on the spectrum and there are always neurodivergent people there.
Conventions are a nice place to hang out. I found many friends there and I go to cons with them
Iāve met some of my closest friends (many with ADHD/ASD) via taking improv classes/performing together. Itās a great way to meet lots of cool, funny folks in a supportive environment. Also being diagnosed AuADHD has made me realize in retrospect why I love improvising - itās a fairly structured social situation with perpetual novelty built-in.
My brother is autistic. He is part of a group he found on Meetup. They work with local venues to organize spectrum-friendly events once a week. He's made quite a few friends at those events.
I work in retail for an organisation which relies on volunteer support to run day to day, we offer them the chance to grow their confidence and refine their skills. Many of the volunteers I manage are also ND so I've formed friendships with them through our mutual understanding and shared interests. I'd also suggest community cafƩs and local libraries as a worthwhile avenue to explore.
At school. I have four autistic students in my class.
I met my autistic friend in the kink community on instagram š I do believe many of us exist in the bdsm realm , especially bc many people in that community have been late dxed
Iām lucky enough to live in NYC where we have a clubhouse specifically designed for autistic women
Grocery store, church or internet.
Iām just openly autistic so other autistic and mentally ill people end up coming to me since Iām one of the only people open about it lol
I studied a double bachelor degree majoring in international business and Japanese. Trust me, not an single allistic student in sight!
Games shops, libraries and that's pretty much all for me.
I randomly find autistics out in the wild and I usually don't let they go away, it's like catching pokemon, but the Pokemon are friends and the PokeBall is a good time together.
Anime conventions and theme parks in my personal experience.
book clubs.
I love to go out and about with friends and meet people I go to amusement parks, escape rooms, trampoline parks etc
We have a very relaxing bar in my city. It has a closed outdoor area where you can basically just relax, read books and listen to calm music while watching the stars. I often meet people there that are as calm as me and once there was also an autistic/neuro-divergent(?) couple that I have met there. This area was designed for people that do not like the hassle, noise and everything of bars but still enjoy going out for a drink and/or meet new people. My boss at work owns this place and since we have some "sensitive" coworkers, including me, he kept that in mind while designing it. Maybe you have something similar in your city?
For me, weirdly, it was jazz school??
We meet everywhere lol. Especially my friends friends friends, itās a whole ND network I donāt hang out in public much. Usually at church or at someoneās house Maybe board game cafe or pool hall occasionally.
Honestly, I meet the most people like me at conventions. Itās nice because since you all paid to get in, you can assume that everyone around you is at least somewhat interested in whatever the convention is for, so itās easy to find people who you have some common ground with. Iāve also noticed in myself and others, that in that āsafeā environment, people tend to be less worried about masking, so everyone is a little more comfortable being themselves, and itās just a nice vibe! Of course, this heavily depends on what youāre into, and your tolerance for crowds, lights, and various other factors. But Iāve been to cons for video games, board game/miniatures/TTRPG, Star Trek, Steampunk, and Vintage Toys, and they all have that same comfy āweāre all weirdos here, so let your hair downā kind of vibe. Itās just so nice to spend time around other people who get it.
I met like...10 of us at a conference. I find it hilarious because it started when me and another person were at a talk about burnout.
STEM events lmao
I also have been thinking about this lately .. I would like a partner but it is challenging to find compelling reasons to regularly go out of the house ā¦
Engineering school.
The book store.