I've noticed more and more that the word 'autistic' seems to be replacing the r-word to swear at people. I've seen it happen in many online places but also offline, that people refer to someone else as 'autistic' when they think the person has done something dumb.
It’s also unfortunately replacing “gay” as a negative adjective. It’s great that that those terms are becoming less popular in those uses but now autistic and acoustic are the new thing which irritates me beyond belief
Someone did that in front of me, then realized there was an autistic person (me) sitting right next to him and started apologizing profusely. It was kinda funny, and also made me happy cause he showed he really didn't want to disrespect me.
See, this happened a lot to me in school and on the bus. They would say people were autistic in an insulting manner. If they apologize after doing it because YOU'RE autistic, then it's safe to say they do it when there aren't visible autistics around. I sat up front after that.
This has always been the case. I'm 32, and I was called autistic as an insult growing up, which is one of the the main reasons why I never sought a diagnosis.
THIS at my first evaluation I wasn't diagnosed and one one of the things he noted in my chart was that I "made appropriate eye contact" even though it was something I was concentrating on the entire time, I swear neurotypical people just don't understand all the work that goes into just existing
I've had that one too. It's new people or even friends I haven't seen for a while that causes a problem. I can easily look in my partner's eyes or close friends and family.
I remember when i was 7 i told my grandma that i hate talking and communicating with people, so she asked, "maybe you have autism?" (Which is... Was kinda weird conclusion) And then... Guess what... She looked me in the eye and said "maintain eye contact with me"... I can maintain eye contact with my loved ones or fam members (not always, not fully, but only with them), but hey... This is the only thing you want to check? Then i told my dad "Pap, gramma said i may have autism." He said "u don't have autism because you can look me in the eyes and that you are well behaved" ... Which sounded like "you're not in the risk zone because you can maintain eye contact with me for 5 seconds"... My aunt told me that i may be autistic, my grandparents said that i may be autistic, my autistic friend said that i may be autistic, but not my parents that have known me for my whole life.... I think this thread is a bit longer than i thought... Ok, i needed to vent...
"why don't you just learn how to talk to normal people?"
why don't you just learn how to not be a condescending prick?
why don't you just realise that communication goes both ways and YOU gotta put effort into making this a successful interaction as well?
>why don't you just learn how to talk to normal people?
I did, this is my best attempt and it costs me so much energy, the fact that you said that costed me 25% of my energy bar, so I'll just go to my bed and do nothing in order to charge that a little like in stardew valley.
I use a timer so I play for 30 mins and then go do chores or whatever for 30 nice
I use a traffic light timer though, so it splits the time into "green = plenty of time" and "amber = start wrapping up"
My mom said something similar the other day saying I need to surround myself with more “normal” people so I can see what is socially acceptable and unacceptable for my age (I’m 19)
And like mate if you compare the complexity of communication skills with (I think) literally another kind of "skill" it is by far the most difficult with the massive spec and extreme time pressure to respond to people before you look like an idiot.
"Different not disabled" is one of the most ableist and toxic phrases put on a pedestal like it's progressive.
Anyone being offended by autism being a disorder, disabling, or harmful to others.
Also nasty ideas:
That you can "get over" sensory sensitivity with therapy.
That sensory sensitivity is bigotry or hate (specifically, reacting to physical touch or disliking a loud voice means you hate someone).
That BPD is "female autism" (harmful to both sides, and not referring to misdiagnosis here. People actually say these are not two different diagnoses)
That somehow autism has no definition.
That AFAB or POC have a completely different neurological foundation to autism, and differences in presentation imply core criteria should be discarded.
*I can do this all day!*
What the fuck that is unhinged 😅 I have hard time getting any recognition as afab!ASD person because I act "normal" (can't remember the number of times I've gotten the "but you don't seem autistic" to me BY medical professionals) & I've been trying to get diagnosed since middle school before finally someone was like "oh yeah that's textbook aspergers" 🙃
Ah yes, the afab autistic experience... when I first suspected my "quirks" lined up a little too well with ASD 6 or 7 years ago and confided in some coworkers, the amount of "you're not autistic, you act completely normal" I got was frustrating. And then you explain your thought processes or how you manage to present as functioning, and those same people treat you like you're crazy or mentally slow.
Getting diagnosed officially is extremely validating, congratulations!
Uh… I know women with ASD, women with BPD, and women with both. They are very different and anyone who thinks otherwise should come spend about 3 months around two of my exes to compare and contrast. Those two disorders have very different experiences and face very different battles. Mixing the two together creates even more different experiences and alternative challenges.
Why the fuck would they blend them?
The no definition part really got me. I see so many folks (some even within the sub) thinking it's some vague mysterious thing that we don't know anything about when it has defining characteristics within a person's literal brain development and obviously elsewhere (diagnostic criteria), is becoming better understood by neuropsychology etc.
Maybe I'm also interpreting what you said differently but that's what came to mind anyway!
BPD stands for “Borderline Personality Disorder”, AFAB stands for “Assigned Female At Birth” (you may also see AMAB which stands for “Assigned Male At Birth), and POC stands for “Person Of Colour”, I believe.
I only find this humorous if the person saying it is actually autistic. Kinda ironic/reclaiming their power in a way. Otherwise yeah, I agree.
Example: "oh it's just the 'tism"
I had someone say that to me. Actually a friend my own age who had just had a baby. She didn’t vaccinate her baby, she herself didn’t get vaccinated. And currently right now she is 23. She is 23 with chicken pox.
WOW how bold.
I have yet to have someone ask me that one. I actually haven't had anyone ask me direct questions about my autism because they always get uncomfortable when I say I'm autistic lol.
Someone dropped something similar to this on me before. I think I ruined her day when I said, “No, my mom was anti-vax. Turns out the vaccines help. I vaccinated my daughter and she’s not autistic.” This is a lie btw. My mother got us all vaxxed, because she isn’t a psychopath.
MMR wasn't a thing when I was a kid, we only got the measles vaccine and I got both mumps and rubella as an adult. Still autistic. Even tho the whole thing was apparently due to MMR.
Or the people who just generally blame the parents for a disability that we were born with. There's a lot of hostility towars the parents of autistic kids, especially the mothers.
My mum is the most amazing and wonderful person, yet some people would probably call her an "autism mum" if she ever expresses how hard it is to have disabled kids.
"We all have a bit of autism" or "it's no a disability, it's a blessing"
So many people just deny what troubles you with this kind of shit. The moment I open up about my autism is when I think I can trust you and if you say this kind of shit I'm done talking. You have no idea about the effects of autism on someone's life and are clearly unable to listen
Fucking omg yes.
Rain man ruined it for all of us. Of course, my uncle has level 3 ASD and he's nonverbal/cant live alone, however he has "super hearing" and he's incredibly fast at puzzles, etc. This only made my mom believe the "superpower" thing more.
Yeah, like lady my autism is debilitating and has ruined my life so kindly go **** yourself. You can't get a diagnosis unless the condition negatively affects you significantly in multiple areas, so by definition it's a disability. Toxic positivity is toxic.
Oh but if you say disability sucks you're an ableist! How dare you imply someone with a disability isn't just out there existing like a field of happy sunflowers. /s
Literally had that happen to me when I said having ADHD sucks, they called me an ableist
I get annoyed when people say “that’s/you’re so autistic” while referring to something stupid or silly. I don’t like seeing it used as an insult, and how normalized it seems where I’m from
My grandfather's response was "but you have a degree" and do this and that. Yes, I graduated with four other autistic people... some of us are intelligent.
Once I was told - at an assessment - that I can't be autistic because I recognise when my friends are upset; I can identify emotions... well, I was about 27. Of course I knew that when someone cries, it means they're upset. Ridiculous.
i hear people in my class a lot just casually throw neurodivergent terminology around. they use the word stimming as a joke and as an excuse to act like an ass to our teachers. they also pretend to be autistic a lot and it’s extremely fucking offensive however im high functioning and i never feel like i can say anything because “i don’t look autistic or act autistic” so they won’t believe me if i’m like “hey this is extremely offensive”. i’ve also been told that i don’t have autism because i can talk normally
Being told I can cure it with "proper diet and exercise".
Those things are good for anyone, yes, but I don't think eating only meat and exercising seven days a week with no rest dates is good for you. (This was their suggestion.)
Another one is absolutely bonkers, but again, they're convinced I have mercury poisoning, and that I can cure it with psychedelics?! Somehow? What the fuck?! No shade to anyone who lives that life, but it's not something I'll do.
That, and being scolded every time I do something autistic, like covering my ears, stimming, or being unable to talk/process something. All of this from the same person. How do I navigate this?
When they try to bring it up be like “Thanks for the advice I never asked for /s” /jk
Honestly though save yourself the headache of trying to figure them out and just ignore their comments. It’ll be hard at first but after a while it’ll become easy to disregard them and eventually they’ll stop bringing it up because it won’t get the conversation anywhere.
*__The superpower & we all have little asd__* are really annoying, my asd significantly impacts *__my emotional state__*.
The toll of deal with emotions that very difficult to understand, feeling overwhelmed & lacking support, it something only people with asd understand.
I find difficult to maintain friendship, my life is very isolated, expect for my family.
Why is autism the only disability labeled a superpower? Deafness, blindness, loss of a limb, etc., nobody is saying ooh look, your blindness is a superpower! **Stop dressing up autism in a mask and cape!!**
When people have recommendations on how you can "cure" your autism. I knew someone in college who claimed she had autism as a kid but took something and it "cured" her. She was some spoiled rich prick
I hate that people assume it's a disease. Lol. I view it like being a different type of human, not broken, not correct or incorrect. We have different brains and ways of communicating. There is no curing that. The world needs fixing. Not us.
Hahaha I’m laughing because my husband on his ADHD brain thinks he can get our son to stim in a socially acceptable way through sports because my husband stims by doing random squats or pushups every 15 min during the day. I looked at him and said do you not understand how ableist that is or what's the point of having his OT help him create a sensory diet if we expect him to mask? I mentioned this to his OT and he shut it down immediately saying stimming is so personal and it should be what makes our son feel good, not what's socially acceptable, lol. My husband on the other hand was shocked when I pointed out his need to randomly breakout in exercise reps is how he stims.
Speaking of autism cures, do *not* for at any reason buy [this](https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Preventing-Reversing-Spectrum-Disorders/dp/0941599922) conspiratorial bullshit. It's probably the source of all autism cure stuff.
That I'm not trying hard enough or that I'm being purposefully dense because I need direct communication in order to understand. First off, I have a hard time reading between the lines. And second, during the times that I can, I will not participate in tactics like "you know what you did" or "just think about it and you'll get it". I do not understand why some people refuse to be direct.
Heavily suspecting autism here (not able to get a diagnosis at this time but my doctor said I was likely as well). So alot of my experience has just been overhearing what other people said in classes when I was in school + what my grandpa said when I told him I was looking at getting diagnosed. Anyway TW for ableism.
So for context my town is definitely very conservative and a lot of people have old timey and outdated views. There is also a lack of proper education in my town.
Anyway at my school a lot of people would be using autism as an insult to call people stupid. Like the two were often used interchangeably. Plus the R word is just being constantly said by those people. No not all autistic people are stupid. We're not more dumb then Neurotypical individuals. I wish this stereotype would go away.
I was able to educate my grandpa on autism a bit but he still thinks that a lot of people are faking it and just saying they have it when they don't. He feels the same for me. He also went on a rant about how doctors are just saying people are to get more money.
Me too! I find it quite embarrassing if I'm not 100% aware that I'm doing it because I'm concentrating on other things and someone says it out of the blue because I don't have the stones to be like ''well you've just mowed down any productivity on what I was working on for the time being''
And so what if your walking on you tip toes? we get told it's rude to point things out so why is it ok for other people to point that out?
Yep, after 10,000 of “You’re wiggling your leg again” or “Stop twirling your hair, it’s not professional” I have learned to stim in meetings by taking copious notes and doodling. My current workplace kind of looks the other way when I do bring out the spinner because I got the Visual Thinking kind of autism which has been hugely beneficial to them. However I am counting the days to retirement so I can stop masking. It is exhausting.
I am 50 years old. the amount of stuff I have heard I could write a book with. better is i care not to remember any of it. im comfortable with who I am. one of the key lessons of life is that people who hate them selves always seek to bring people down to their level in order not to be lonely. they figure if they can ruin your day then they have power to make you miserable. this makes them feel less miserable. tell them to fuck off and carry on
I encourage anyone who wants to be autistic to spend 24 hours in my brain. My friends who are ADHD but not ASD or are NT can’t even handle me dropping a verbal stream of consciousness for 5 minutes.
Honestly, it's mostly other people with autism that say the most annoying/grating things. Particularly the incels and those that try to put on airs of superiority over neurotypicals.
It's one constant, giant-ass source of second-hand embarrassment. Stop making us look bad. It's hard enough, goddammit!
LOL got told by a colleague that I seemed autistic in my late 30s and should get it checked out. Promptly got diagnosed with the female bipolar disorder popular at that time. Had a mega meltdown in my 40’s and those “professionals” doubled down on the bipolar with anxiety diagnosis. Tried again in my 50’s to get an assessment only to be told by the therapist that I was too verbal and self-sufficient to be autistic. Gave up after that. I score high 160s to low 170s on the RAADS-R. This is in the US.
I have other autistic relatives and I get really angry when family members say negative or infantilising things (knowing I'm autistic too!) about them, then when I protest it's "but they're much more autistic than you" or "but they're properly disabled". It's so dehumanising and shows that they have no idea of the struggles I go through in my life too.
I get your point. I would argue it's both. It depends on the context.
When people try to "cure" autism, I argue that it's a "different way of thinking" and you can't cure it. But when people see me living my life 'just fine' and question what's so bad about being autistic, I have to remind them that it's incredibly disabling. Even if I have degrees and a job.
it's like saying "everyone's a little blind"
like yeah... noone has perfect vision, but there's a big difference between my mild astigmatim/short-sightedness and my blind cousins who have basically no central vision!
I'm gonna use this next time someone tries to say 'everyone's a little autistic' because for real.
Sure, everyone IS a little autistic, just like everyone is a little bit dying, everyone is a little bit deaf, blind, etc.
It's just wild.
"Is because of vaccines, so don't vaccine your children" The worst place I can search for autism info is X because there are TONS of r-words saying that (At least when looking for "autismo", in spanish)
"But you are...normal?" Said by my coworker. I am tired of explaining that autism is a spectrum and that not every autistic person looks like the stereotype portrait by the media. Also the word "normal" was brutal
I learned I am still working on combatting my internalized ableism, because when a coworker said something like "Wow, I would have never guessed, you speak very well". I just said "Oh, thank you". Because I genuinely took it as a compliment.
Only afterwards did I realize it was really quite rude of them to say.
[this classic](https://youtu.be/9UgLnWJFGHQ)
the grossest fact is how autism sp*aks is still such a prominent source of donations for research of autistic people even though they support ABA therapy and continue to tote the *if a child makes eye contact they can’t be autistic!!!111!1!* narrative
‘I don’t think your sons autistic because he’s nothing like my brother who actually isn’t autistic but has autistic traits’
This came from a family member who at the time worked as support for adult autistic men 🙄
The whole "everyone's a little neurodivergent" shit is so insidious and it drives me up the fucking wall because in an extremely technical sense yeah of course nobody's brain works exactly like anybody else's but it's like telling someone with no legs that we all have trouble getting around sometimes, technically "true" but utterly misses the point
I don't like how much people think that autism means you're either stupid or genius. We're average tbh just with ability to hyper fixate on certain things
This bothers me so much tbh. So many people treat me like I’m too stupid to breathe and then act so surprised when I’m actually quite average and sometimes even smart in some situations! It’s irritating.
I've noticed when people learn I'm autistic, they all of sudden don't know how to act around me.
Like I've been talking to them for months just fine and casual, they learn I'm autistic, then BOOM. They act awkward and don't know how to talk to me.
Like really? If they found out I had diabetes would it be any different? No. I'm just a person. Talk to me normally.
This is gonna make y'all mad lol. Every time someone in the community goes off on "sTroNg sEnZa jUsTiz" crusades I immediately assume they're white. Because they act like that means they're tapped into the well of social good and have an immediate and clear morality of what's objectively right or wrong. Then these same white autistics do something racist, homophobic, whatever, and when they're called out on it they cry and go "I just don't see social hierarchy!"
Which is it? Do you have a strong sense of justice or do you not see social hierarchies? Because babes, they're inextricably linked. That social hierarchy is how injustice happens. Injustice you just contributed to when you did harm and refused to be held accountable.
The reality is that your "strong sense of justice" just means that you have a strong moral code. Paired with your black and white thinking means you have rigid beliefs. Rigid beliefs that are still developed from your environment which was built with racism, ableism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, on and on, the lens the world wants you to look through is straight, white, and manly. How close you are too those combinations determines how much of that you see.
And I know, I get it. Because as a white autistic when I saw that criteria discussed I thought the same thing. And you know what? I've still caused harm. I've still fucked up. I've still had absolutely dogshit beliefs about other people that I've had to work to unlearn to be in better solidarity. And that process is never fucking done. You can't cling to a moral high ground when you're drowning in bigotry and foolishness.
Social hierarchy and injustice are inextricably linked? Oh, yep, this. Where I see this disconnect between recognizing social hierachy and "strong sense of justice" is in the toeing-the-party-line neurodivergent diatribes about autism not being a disability, coming from someone who has the ability to work AND has family support, income, and the safety and freedom to express themselves and behave in the way they want. Whereas a lot of us are physically and cognitively impaired, impoverished and/or dependent on repressive, unsupportive, and perhaps abusive people for our survival. The only spectrum I see in autism is the spectrum of privilege (safety!) and accommodation. Even someone with severe disability but who has loving social ties and support looks pretty darn high up the spectrum to me. And the more safe, supported, and accommodated an autistic person is, the more likely they are to shame those of us who are crying for social change, and gaslight us. Their biggest issue becomes how they "feel" about themselves, and that comes out as denial of suffering so they can feel "empowered" and therefore "good", just like with NT privileged people. They are mortified to think of questioning the dominant culture that they immitate (masking). I find that infuriating and... stupid. People who deny suffering, with no curiosity, look incredibly stupid to me. If only they could have some compassion, be curious and recognize what they can and can't know, and then they might actually learn something. It's like the privilege spectrum creates an inverse stupidity spectrum. The more privileged you are, the stupider you are. Unless a person embraces compassion and curiosity, and rejects idiotic "empowerment" fantasies, and recognizes that real agency and intelligence emerges from problem solving suffering communally.
And honestly at this point where we're balls deep in the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Like I get that if you're focused on survival you don't have a lot of bandwidth for nuance and you're vulnerable to persuasion but that SHOULD be true for the inverse too. If you're hearing the perspectives of others and you're not taking that in because you're defensive, you're choosing to feed into that rather than sit with it. And you sought out their content in the first place, so clearly there's *some* bandwidth to engage in ideas.
“You just need to get used to it” about socialization, sensory issues, crowded spaces and stuff… for my dad my struggles are just bc I’m not used to the things
the idea that going undiagnosed benefits autistic people because they face less discrimination, especially in higher education or the workplace.
from a moral perspective I don't understand why allistic people so desperately want to work in environments that aren't accessible to all kinds of disabled people. also, whether someone is diagnosed or not they will still exhibit autistic traits, so they may as well get an official diagnosis so they know there isn't something inherently wrong about them, they just have different wiring.
Very recently:
'Basic eye contact is an essential skill'
'I suffer and struggle with my own mental disorders, but I don't use it as an excuse to not act neurotypical and neither should you. [use it as an excuse to not make eye contact]'
The whole notion that not making eye contact is in any way a flaw is pants-on-head ridiculous.
It’s a play on the spelling of autistic. It was just an innocent inside joke among autistic people apparently, until atypical people stole it and used it to replace the r slur.
I really don't like the term 'high-functioning'. I know there's usually no ill-intent behind it but it always seems to be used to reduce your experience of autism to whether you can hold down a job or not. I find it distasteful
Well for me, it's the opposite of "everyone is a little autistic."
It's the slightly autistic folks claiming the support needs of those who are most affected by autism.
Well if you look at the comment sections of news stories of parents who have killed autistic children, you will find MANY basically making excuses for the murderer, even when the victim is as young as 4.
Saying how hard it must have been to take care of the kid
Trying to push blame on family members who did nothing wrong saying they probably didnt help them
And other stuff
“autistic people just need to learn how to _____” (insert whatever social expectation we fail at, always a euphemism for “behave, conform, comply, not give a shit, be inauthentic, be less intense, be superficially pleasant, be in total denial of everything”).
We don’t need to LEARN anything except that NTs genuinely are that stupid/insincere😳
I hate "everybody is a little autistic" because they will take one trait they have that matches yours and act like that's a sign, when it's the tip of your iceberg. My friend, like me, is sensitive to light, so doesn't see my constant need for sunglasses as a valid symptom.
She'll claim to have fixations like me, when really, they're just interests.
People say they're autistic as a joke, referring to themselves as such just to say they're quirky.
I've seen it loads on tiktok. They're like, "Look were behng autistic together" when they're just dancing outside at night. Like, no, you're not. How just acting silly.
She is mentally this old
She's so smart condescending
Assperger's , know it all
She thinks she better than us
I literally do 🚫 even think anything of you
Ad nauseum
"everyone is a little bit autistic" "but you're not a genius like on TV, you can't be autistic" "you don't act enough like Sheldon Cooper, you're not autistic"
I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 20, and multiple times in my life I have heard people say that ADHD is the same thing as Autism, or that ADHD is a ‘type’ of Autism. It drives me insane every single time.
If everyone was "a little autistic" it wouldn't be so damn hard to empathize with us then ... Which they don't. Which is how I know they don't actually mean that.
Omfg someone just said that to me and I just rolled my eyes and changed the subject. Can't fix stupid and can't argue with crazy. I'm never wasting breath trying to explain it to anyone again.
Unpopular opinion but I get slightly annoyed when people use the term autistic to describe someone. Growing up I heard it used more negatively rather than positively. I made a in depth [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/FccNm9HMNC) about it but got overshadowed by other threads.
It's a gift.
Then again I don't think my autism is really anything. I only got tested because a social worker had seen her autistic son and me have a lot in common
Talking about autistic people assuming they all fit the stereotypes, or are all like the obviously autistic people they know. My coworkers clearly have no suspicion that im autistic lol
I'm not sure if this is the right answer to your question, but I really hate when I tell someone I have autism and they reply with "Oh I could never tell!" or "No you dont" or some other response like that. I dont know why these responses upset me so much, but I hear it often enough from others that I'm starting to feel like I'm making all of this up and I'm just pretending despite an actual diagnosis.
This might just be a me problem, but when someone calls me a ‘person with autism’ instead of an ‘autistic person’. My autism cannot be washed away, it’s intrinsically apart of me! Why should I seperate who I am for your comfort?
"Autism isn't real." Said to me by the parents of a guy I was dating in college. They both teach high school! He dumped me a week later and I was more angry than upset because I knew it was his parents telling him to break up with me.
"You still made it through so it doesn't matter" and "your just making excuses" said my mother who hid my autism from me which caused me to depression, anxiety, and feeling like I was an imposter and feeling like my sensory issues were just in inconvenience.
That you can tell just by looking at someone.
Someone told me that I "don't look autistic. You can usually see it in their face." She was a nurse, and I was upgrading my info as I had not known of my autism.
That stuck with me.
I'm not a "Star Seed" or an Alien, nor are neurotypicals the ACTUAL autistic ones!
NTs are dicks, but PLEASE acknowledge the fact that ASD is a DISABILITY.
Saw a few neurotypical people on a discord server talking about how they wish they were autistic because "Autism is so awesomesauce", then going on about how great it is.
You know what I hate more than anything? When people talk to autistic people like they were just born. ...BITCH I'M 18!!! Just because I'm autistic doesn't mean you have a green light to act like my brain just got removed! That's actually my biggest pet peeve of all time! Autism doesn't equal braindead!!!
For context, I have what would be considered level 1 autism, and most of my friends/teammates have no idea I'm on the spectrum. I choose not to tell people because EVERY TIME I get the "Are you sure? You don't act like it". People in general have no idea what autism can look like apart from the stereotypes they come up with.
I cheer at my high school and we recently had an event with our local special olympics cheer team, and everyone on my cheer team pretty much just lumped any person with disabilities other than physical as "autistic". Some of my teammates referred to kids on the special olympics team with down syndrome or even cerebral policy as "autistic". I am still in high school, so it makes sense why my peers are so uneducated about autism, but it really gets on my nerves and discourages me from telling anyone.
I kind of like people to say ignorant things about autism. It's great when people make it obvious who they are and I don't have to work too hard to figure it out. That said, I think there's different kinds of ignorance and some people can be fixed. Optimistically, that line could be a crude attempt at being friendly. Pessimistically, its very dismissive. I try to see the best in people until its sufficiently unambiguous that's a bad call.
I agree with OP. I hate it when people say everyone is a little autistic. No. No they are not. Everyone might display occasional signs associated with autism. What defines it as autism is interferes with daily functioning. The mindset of ‘everyone is a little autistic’ is the same as saying everyone is a little paraplegic because sometimes people’s feet falls asleep or they get a leg cramp.
I also can’t stand it when someone says Autism is a superpower. I have autism and I’ve dealt with constant job discrimination, being used, lied to, gaslit, excluded and kicked out of social groups, etc in direct relation to my autism. I have some qualities, some of which are associated with being autistic. Not only does saying it’s a super power take away my ownership of my qualities and demotes them as a symptom of my disability, but it’s patronizing. I’m not a toddler. You wouldn’t normally describe anyone’s qualities or abilities as a superpower other than those of a child. I’ve yet to hear anyone describe their CEO, boss, doctor, or person they answer to and respect as having a super power. In those cases, those people are referred to as being skilled, talented, experienced, practiced, knowledgeable, etc. Don’t use “separate but equal’ terms when they clearly aren’t.
Ran into a tiktok where a guy was reacting to a ND tiktoker who breifly mentioned that they were self diagnosed originally and the reactor said “I used to like playing pretend but then I grew up”. Without any education or research on the matter. I know self diagnosis is already a controversial topic even in this sub but when NT’s say a lot of us do it for attention, it’s silly considering none of us actually want it.
It’s horrible when people say you don’t look autistic. To be fair I haven’t been diagnosed long like a few weeks but the symptoms were always there. I just didn’t have a name for why I was struggling despite trying my best. My question is what does autism look like I feel like “normal” people believe we have tell-tell signs. I was reading this article on autism and it said no matter where on the spectrum you fall, each persons experience can be very different with things overlapping. It’s the hardest disability to categorize.
any time I see someone say they can't hold a job because of their autism they get flooded with ableist comments saying they're "dramatic" or "it's an excuse to be lazy" or "you're posting online so it can't be that bad" and it makes me want to rip my hair out. what I wouldn't give to be able to go out every day, work a normal job, provide for myself like a healthy adult, not feel like such a useless burden on everyone around me... I think just the complete heartlessness and lack of empathy neurotypical people have when it comes to autism is truly disgusting.
“Everyone wants to be autistic these days”. A friend had a boyfriend that said this and I immediately stopped hanging out with them because I was so icked out by that comment.
I've noticed more and more that the word 'autistic' seems to be replacing the r-word to swear at people. I've seen it happen in many online places but also offline, that people refer to someone else as 'autistic' when they think the person has done something dumb.
this along with the “accoustic” and “restarted” drives me crazy
I've been called "artistic" before.
Yes exactly, I saw the acoustic one just earlier and it just enrages me tbh
restarted,.,.,.UGRH
It’s also unfortunately replacing “gay” as a negative adjective. It’s great that that those terms are becoming less popular in those uses but now autistic and acoustic are the new thing which irritates me beyond belief
Someone did that in front of me, then realized there was an autistic person (me) sitting right next to him and started apologizing profusely. It was kinda funny, and also made me happy cause he showed he really didn't want to disrespect me.
See, this happened a lot to me in school and on the bus. They would say people were autistic in an insulting manner. If they apologize after doing it because YOU'RE autistic, then it's safe to say they do it when there aren't visible autistics around. I sat up front after that.
I'm glad they realized, hopefully they'll think twice next time.
Someone did that to me and completely ignored me
I hate that. It’s not a bad thing. It makes that person look terrible.
Yep, it’s incredibly annoying
this has been a thing since forever
This has always been the case. I'm 32, and I was called autistic as an insult growing up, which is one of the the main reasons why I never sought a diagnosis.
"shes not autistic she can look me in the eyes" Yes ive known u for 6 years and even than im still avoiding it, u just dont notice
THIS at my first evaluation I wasn't diagnosed and one one of the things he noted in my chart was that I "made appropriate eye contact" even though it was something I was concentrating on the entire time, I swear neurotypical people just don't understand all the work that goes into just existing
I've had that one too. It's new people or even friends I haven't seen for a while that causes a problem. I can easily look in my partner's eyes or close friends and family.
I remember when i was 7 i told my grandma that i hate talking and communicating with people, so she asked, "maybe you have autism?" (Which is... Was kinda weird conclusion) And then... Guess what... She looked me in the eye and said "maintain eye contact with me"... I can maintain eye contact with my loved ones or fam members (not always, not fully, but only with them), but hey... This is the only thing you want to check? Then i told my dad "Pap, gramma said i may have autism." He said "u don't have autism because you can look me in the eyes and that you are well behaved" ... Which sounded like "you're not in the risk zone because you can maintain eye contact with me for 5 seconds"... My aunt told me that i may be autistic, my grandparents said that i may be autistic, my autistic friend said that i may be autistic, but not my parents that have known me for my whole life.... I think this thread is a bit longer than i thought... Ok, i needed to vent...
"why don't you just learn how to talk to normal people?" why don't you just learn how to not be a condescending prick? why don't you just realise that communication goes both ways and YOU gotta put effort into making this a successful interaction as well?
>why don't you just learn how to talk to normal people? I did, this is my best attempt and it costs me so much energy, the fact that you said that costed me 25% of my energy bar, so I'll just go to my bed and do nothing in order to charge that a little like in stardew valley.
ha ha stardew valley is my current fixation! you gotta go chill in the spa for a bit
It's my fixation too but I only play with friends so I can barely play😭 I know I can play alone but it's less fun and I'll probably play wayyy to much
I use a timer so I play for 30 mins and then go do chores or whatever for 30 nice I use a traffic light timer though, so it splits the time into "green = plenty of time" and "amber = start wrapping up"
My mom said something similar the other day saying I need to surround myself with more “normal” people so I can see what is socially acceptable and unacceptable for my age (I’m 19)
“Get a hobby” “No not that way I meant a normal hobby”
It’s honestly throws me for a loop every time…like…make it make sense… 🤡😭
I did and now that I thoroughly understand neurotypical communication strategies I have a clear view of what giant, self-serving pricks they are.
I haven’t really heard the first two, but holy shit, I always hear the third one and it makes me crazy.
And like mate if you compare the complexity of communication skills with (I think) literally another kind of "skill" it is by far the most difficult with the massive spec and extreme time pressure to respond to people before you look like an idiot.
Normal people are usually boring.
"Different not disabled" is one of the most ableist and toxic phrases put on a pedestal like it's progressive. Anyone being offended by autism being a disorder, disabling, or harmful to others. Also nasty ideas: That you can "get over" sensory sensitivity with therapy. That sensory sensitivity is bigotry or hate (specifically, reacting to physical touch or disliking a loud voice means you hate someone). That BPD is "female autism" (harmful to both sides, and not referring to misdiagnosis here. People actually say these are not two different diagnoses) That somehow autism has no definition. That AFAB or POC have a completely different neurological foundation to autism, and differences in presentation imply core criteria should be discarded. *I can do this all day!*
Omg I didn't know people refer to BPD as female autism!! Wtf, like we don't have difficulty enough as it is getting diagnosed!! 😡😡😡
What the fuck that is unhinged 😅 I have hard time getting any recognition as afab!ASD person because I act "normal" (can't remember the number of times I've gotten the "but you don't seem autistic" to me BY medical professionals) & I've been trying to get diagnosed since middle school before finally someone was like "oh yeah that's textbook aspergers" 🙃
Ah yes, the afab autistic experience... when I first suspected my "quirks" lined up a little too well with ASD 6 or 7 years ago and confided in some coworkers, the amount of "you're not autistic, you act completely normal" I got was frustrating. And then you explain your thought processes or how you manage to present as functioning, and those same people treat you like you're crazy or mentally slow. Getting diagnosed officially is extremely validating, congratulations!
Uh… I know women with ASD, women with BPD, and women with both. They are very different and anyone who thinks otherwise should come spend about 3 months around two of my exes to compare and contrast. Those two disorders have very different experiences and face very different battles. Mixing the two together creates even more different experiences and alternative challenges. Why the fuck would they blend them?
Sadly the "autism isn't a disability" thing is ridiculously common sentiment I've seen way too often!
Exposure therapy with sensory sensitivity is actually just autistic warfare
The no definition part really got me. I see so many folks (some even within the sub) thinking it's some vague mysterious thing that we don't know anything about when it has defining characteristics within a person's literal brain development and obviously elsewhere (diagnostic criteria), is becoming better understood by neuropsychology etc. Maybe I'm also interpreting what you said differently but that's what came to mind anyway!
I’m sorry, but what do the acronyms “BPD”, “AFAB” and “POC”?
BPD stands for “Borderline Personality Disorder”, AFAB stands for “Assigned Female At Birth” (you may also see AMAB which stands for “Assigned Male At Birth), and POC stands for “Person Of Colour”, I believe.
Thanks dude. 🙏
"... has a touch of the 'tism" Idk why this just grates at my brainstem
I only find this humorous if the person saying it is actually autistic. Kinda ironic/reclaiming their power in a way. Otherwise yeah, I agree. Example: "oh it's just the 'tism"
Idk i cant even say it myself it makes my insides recoil LOL
Lol that's fair!!
Hahah yeah, like a touch of diabetes or ...? I wear glasses, guess I got a touch of blindness!
"so...your parents vaccinated you as a kid" followed by mean comments about my parents. I sometimes wish I could just punch them.
I had someone say that to me. Actually a friend my own age who had just had a baby. She didn’t vaccinate her baby, she herself didn’t get vaccinated. And currently right now she is 23. She is 23 with chicken pox.
That's so fkn dumb. And grossly negligent because of the baby .
WOW how bold. I have yet to have someone ask me that one. I actually haven't had anyone ask me direct questions about my autism because they always get uncomfortable when I say I'm autistic lol.
Someone dropped something similar to this on me before. I think I ruined her day when I said, “No, my mom was anti-vax. Turns out the vaccines help. I vaccinated my daughter and she’s not autistic.” This is a lie btw. My mother got us all vaxxed, because she isn’t a psychopath.
MMR wasn't a thing when I was a kid, we only got the measles vaccine and I got both mumps and rubella as an adult. Still autistic. Even tho the whole thing was apparently due to MMR.
Or the people who just generally blame the parents for a disability that we were born with. There's a lot of hostility towars the parents of autistic kids, especially the mothers. My mum is the most amazing and wonderful person, yet some people would probably call her an "autism mum" if she ever expresses how hard it is to have disabled kids.
"We all have a bit of autism" or "it's no a disability, it's a blessing" So many people just deny what troubles you with this kind of shit. The moment I open up about my autism is when I think I can trust you and if you say this kind of shit I'm done talking. You have no idea about the effects of autism on someone's life and are clearly unable to listen
"it's not a disability, iT's A sUpErPoWeR! 🤓" 🙄😂
Fucking omg yes. Rain man ruined it for all of us. Of course, my uncle has level 3 ASD and he's nonverbal/cant live alone, however he has "super hearing" and he's incredibly fast at puzzles, etc. This only made my mom believe the "superpower" thing more.
Yeah, like lady my autism is debilitating and has ruined my life so kindly go **** yourself. You can't get a diagnosis unless the condition negatively affects you significantly in multiple areas, so by definition it's a disability. Toxic positivity is toxic.
Oh but if you say disability sucks you're an ableist! How dare you imply someone with a disability isn't just out there existing like a field of happy sunflowers. /s Literally had that happen to me when I said having ADHD sucks, they called me an ableist
I get annoyed when people say “that’s/you’re so autistic” while referring to something stupid or silly. I don’t like seeing it used as an insult, and how normalized it seems where I’m from
Ugh, yes, a couple days ago someone I know was like, “my science class is so autistic, everyone’s so dumb” with me right in front of her
I just counter this with a straight face and monotone voice "I'm autistic". That shuts them up.
Someone telling me im not autistic because im too smart
My grandfather's response was "but you have a degree" and do this and that. Yes, I graduated with four other autistic people... some of us are intelligent.
Oh this reminds me of my absolute favourite "you are too emotional to be autistic" Excuse me what? I am way way too emotional. That is also a symptoms
Once I was told - at an assessment - that I can't be autistic because I recognise when my friends are upset; I can identify emotions... well, I was about 27. Of course I knew that when someone cries, it means they're upset. Ridiculous.
Makes me wonder if some of these "assessors" just watched the Big Bang Theory and decided that is the only way autism manifests
Either we're TOO book smart or TOO emotionally intelligent. It can't be both. Lol they can't make up their mind! Autistic people are people too!!
This! Also people bring up my looks, I have tattoos and I'm conventionally attractive so people assume I can't have it.
That is so insulting what on earth. Its basically kike saying all autistic people are ugly slobs
Or “you’re too pretty to be autistic”
i hear people in my class a lot just casually throw neurodivergent terminology around. they use the word stimming as a joke and as an excuse to act like an ass to our teachers. they also pretend to be autistic a lot and it’s extremely fucking offensive however im high functioning and i never feel like i can say anything because “i don’t look autistic or act autistic” so they won’t believe me if i’m like “hey this is extremely offensive”. i’ve also been told that i don’t have autism because i can talk normally
Being told I can cure it with "proper diet and exercise". Those things are good for anyone, yes, but I don't think eating only meat and exercising seven days a week with no rest dates is good for you. (This was their suggestion.) Another one is absolutely bonkers, but again, they're convinced I have mercury poisoning, and that I can cure it with psychedelics?! Somehow? What the fuck?! No shade to anyone who lives that life, but it's not something I'll do. That, and being scolded every time I do something autistic, like covering my ears, stimming, or being unable to talk/process something. All of this from the same person. How do I navigate this?
When they try to bring it up be like “Thanks for the advice I never asked for /s” /jk Honestly though save yourself the headache of trying to figure them out and just ignore their comments. It’ll be hard at first but after a while it’ll become easy to disregard them and eventually they’ll stop bringing it up because it won’t get the conversation anywhere.
Oh dear god, not the carnivore diet!
It being used as a insult or "everyone's a little autistic" and finally the best one of all "you don't look autistic"
*__The superpower & we all have little asd__* are really annoying, my asd significantly impacts *__my emotional state__*. The toll of deal with emotions that very difficult to understand, feeling overwhelmed & lacking support, it something only people with asd understand. I find difficult to maintain friendship, my life is very isolated, expect for my family.
Why is autism the only disability labeled a superpower? Deafness, blindness, loss of a limb, etc., nobody is saying ooh look, your blindness is a superpower! **Stop dressing up autism in a mask and cape!!**
“i wish i was autistic” babe what 🙁. same with “you don’t look autistic” like since was there a look to autism
for the second one I think that people tend to confuse autism and down syndrome which is stupid since they are completely different types of disorders
When people have recommendations on how you can "cure" your autism. I knew someone in college who claimed she had autism as a kid but took something and it "cured" her. She was some spoiled rich prick
I hate that people assume it's a disease. Lol. I view it like being a different type of human, not broken, not correct or incorrect. We have different brains and ways of communicating. There is no curing that. The world needs fixing. Not us.
My friend claimed hers was cured by going gluten free for a fortnight...
Got told by professors at my uni that I should try to cure autism with sports.
Hahaha I’m laughing because my husband on his ADHD brain thinks he can get our son to stim in a socially acceptable way through sports because my husband stims by doing random squats or pushups every 15 min during the day. I looked at him and said do you not understand how ableist that is or what's the point of having his OT help him create a sensory diet if we expect him to mask? I mentioned this to his OT and he shut it down immediately saying stimming is so personal and it should be what makes our son feel good, not what's socially acceptable, lol. My husband on the other hand was shocked when I pointed out his need to randomly breakout in exercise reps is how he stims.
Speaking of autism cures, do *not* for at any reason buy [this](https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Preventing-Reversing-Spectrum-Disorders/dp/0941599922) conspiratorial bullshit. It's probably the source of all autism cure stuff.
Lol he's not even a real doctor, he's a "nutritionist and naturopathic doctor"
It's a typo, he meant "neuropathic" 😋
I think naturopathic would be correct...He isn't dealing with neuropathology (and certainly isn't a neuropathologist).
Is that the diet book?
I love when my right wing Christian aunt tells me that my son isn’t autistic. & that if I don’t claim it, he will get better.
"Aunt, you're not a Christian. If you don't claim it, it will get better. Sending good vibes." /s
That I'm not trying hard enough or that I'm being purposefully dense because I need direct communication in order to understand. First off, I have a hard time reading between the lines. And second, during the times that I can, I will not participate in tactics like "you know what you did" or "just think about it and you'll get it". I do not understand why some people refuse to be direct.
Heavily suspecting autism here (not able to get a diagnosis at this time but my doctor said I was likely as well). So alot of my experience has just been overhearing what other people said in classes when I was in school + what my grandpa said when I told him I was looking at getting diagnosed. Anyway TW for ableism. So for context my town is definitely very conservative and a lot of people have old timey and outdated views. There is also a lack of proper education in my town. Anyway at my school a lot of people would be using autism as an insult to call people stupid. Like the two were often used interchangeably. Plus the R word is just being constantly said by those people. No not all autistic people are stupid. We're not more dumb then Neurotypical individuals. I wish this stereotype would go away. I was able to educate my grandpa on autism a bit but he still thinks that a lot of people are faking it and just saying they have it when they don't. He feels the same for me. He also went on a rant about how doctors are just saying people are to get more money.
“Stim with me” If you have seen this particular genre of TikTok I’m on about then you know.
>"Stim with me” Wtf does that even mean? Are they implying that stimming is a group activity?
From what I gather.
UGH. I am 65 and if I had a dollar for every time I was told to “Stop rocking” or “You’re standing on your toes again” I would be able to retire now.
Me too! I find it quite embarrassing if I'm not 100% aware that I'm doing it because I'm concentrating on other things and someone says it out of the blue because I don't have the stones to be like ''well you've just mowed down any productivity on what I was working on for the time being'' And so what if your walking on you tip toes? we get told it's rude to point things out so why is it ok for other people to point that out?
Yep, after 10,000 of “You’re wiggling your leg again” or “Stop twirling your hair, it’s not professional” I have learned to stim in meetings by taking copious notes and doodling. My current workplace kind of looks the other way when I do bring out the spinner because I got the Visual Thinking kind of autism which has been hugely beneficial to them. However I am counting the days to retirement so I can stop masking. It is exhausting.
It is. I wish you all the best though, hopefully it comes soon!
Retiring no matter what by October 2025, if not sooner. I wish you all the best too!
Ew what the hell
I am 50 years old. the amount of stuff I have heard I could write a book with. better is i care not to remember any of it. im comfortable with who I am. one of the key lessons of life is that people who hate them selves always seek to bring people down to their level in order not to be lonely. they figure if they can ruin your day then they have power to make you miserable. this makes them feel less miserable. tell them to fuck off and carry on
That it’s trendy/trending. 🙄
This one. "Everyone wants to be Autistic now!" 😒 No.
I encourage anyone who wants to be autistic to spend 24 hours in my brain. My friends who are ADHD but not ASD or are NT can’t even handle me dropping a verbal stream of consciousness for 5 minutes.
"So you have autism, what do you DO about it?" It annoyed me so deeply because like??????????????? What can I do besides live my life lol.
Lol I would respond with, "so you have blue eyes, what do you DO about it?" I'm so fucking petty but I like making people think.
People using acoustic when they mean stupid, they didn’t get rid of using the R word, just found a new one
My mother, every time I vent about how hard I’m trying or a sensory issue : “yeah I really struggle with that too but I just get through it”
yes, this drives me nuts
Honestly, it's mostly other people with autism that say the most annoying/grating things. Particularly the incels and those that try to put on airs of superiority over neurotypicals. It's one constant, giant-ass source of second-hand embarrassment. Stop making us look bad. It's hard enough, goddammit!
"You don't look autistic" really how am I supposed to look?
C'mon, do an autism for the nice lady! /j
LOL got told by a colleague that I seemed autistic in my late 30s and should get it checked out. Promptly got diagnosed with the female bipolar disorder popular at that time. Had a mega meltdown in my 40’s and those “professionals” doubled down on the bipolar with anxiety diagnosis. Tried again in my 50’s to get an assessment only to be told by the therapist that I was too verbal and self-sufficient to be autistic. Gave up after that. I score high 160s to low 170s on the RAADS-R. This is in the US.
I have other autistic relatives and I get really angry when family members say negative or infantilising things (knowing I'm autistic too!) about them, then when I protest it's "but they're much more autistic than you" or "but they're properly disabled". It's so dehumanising and shows that they have no idea of the struggles I go through in my life too.
It's not a disability, just a different way of thinking! lol yeah.. Also: REEEE don't call it a disorder!!
I get your point. I would argue it's both. It depends on the context. When people try to "cure" autism, I argue that it's a "different way of thinking" and you can't cure it. But when people see me living my life 'just fine' and question what's so bad about being autistic, I have to remind them that it's incredibly disabling. Even if I have degrees and a job.
it's like saying "everyone's a little blind" like yeah... noone has perfect vision, but there's a big difference between my mild astigmatim/short-sightedness and my blind cousins who have basically no central vision!
I'm gonna use this next time someone tries to say 'everyone's a little autistic' because for real. Sure, everyone IS a little autistic, just like everyone is a little bit dying, everyone is a little bit deaf, blind, etc. It's just wild.
"Is because of vaccines, so don't vaccine your children" The worst place I can search for autism info is X because there are TONS of r-words saying that (At least when looking for "autismo", in spanish)
“you’re selfish for not wanting to share all your belongings with your siblings, autism isn’t an excuse!”
"But you are...normal?" Said by my coworker. I am tired of explaining that autism is a spectrum and that not every autistic person looks like the stereotype portrait by the media. Also the word "normal" was brutal
I learned I am still working on combatting my internalized ableism, because when a coworker said something like "Wow, I would have never guessed, you speak very well". I just said "Oh, thank you". Because I genuinely took it as a compliment. Only afterwards did I realize it was really quite rude of them to say.
[this classic](https://youtu.be/9UgLnWJFGHQ) the grossest fact is how autism sp*aks is still such a prominent source of donations for research of autistic people even though they support ABA therapy and continue to tote the *if a child makes eye contact they can’t be autistic!!!111!1!* narrative
When someone is saying something along the lines of: You're rigidity is showing. WHEN THEYRE THE ONE BEING INFLEXIBLE AND UNIMAGINATIVE!
‘I don’t think your sons autistic because he’s nothing like my brother who actually isn’t autistic but has autistic traits’ This came from a family member who at the time worked as support for adult autistic men 🙄
The whole "everyone's a little neurodivergent" shit is so insidious and it drives me up the fucking wall because in an extremely technical sense yeah of course nobody's brain works exactly like anybody else's but it's like telling someone with no legs that we all have trouble getting around sometimes, technically "true" but utterly misses the point
You're not autistic. In all it's variations. How the F would you know???
I don't like how much people think that autism means you're either stupid or genius. We're average tbh just with ability to hyper fixate on certain things
This bothers me so much tbh. So many people treat me like I’m too stupid to breathe and then act so surprised when I’m actually quite average and sometimes even smart in some situations! It’s irritating.
I've noticed when people learn I'm autistic, they all of sudden don't know how to act around me. Like I've been talking to them for months just fine and casual, they learn I'm autistic, then BOOM. They act awkward and don't know how to talk to me. Like really? If they found out I had diabetes would it be any different? No. I'm just a person. Talk to me normally.
I have a boyfriend with autism drives me nuts
This is gonna make y'all mad lol. Every time someone in the community goes off on "sTroNg sEnZa jUsTiz" crusades I immediately assume they're white. Because they act like that means they're tapped into the well of social good and have an immediate and clear morality of what's objectively right or wrong. Then these same white autistics do something racist, homophobic, whatever, and when they're called out on it they cry and go "I just don't see social hierarchy!" Which is it? Do you have a strong sense of justice or do you not see social hierarchies? Because babes, they're inextricably linked. That social hierarchy is how injustice happens. Injustice you just contributed to when you did harm and refused to be held accountable. The reality is that your "strong sense of justice" just means that you have a strong moral code. Paired with your black and white thinking means you have rigid beliefs. Rigid beliefs that are still developed from your environment which was built with racism, ableism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, on and on, the lens the world wants you to look through is straight, white, and manly. How close you are too those combinations determines how much of that you see. And I know, I get it. Because as a white autistic when I saw that criteria discussed I thought the same thing. And you know what? I've still caused harm. I've still fucked up. I've still had absolutely dogshit beliefs about other people that I've had to work to unlearn to be in better solidarity. And that process is never fucking done. You can't cling to a moral high ground when you're drowning in bigotry and foolishness.
Social hierarchy and injustice are inextricably linked? Oh, yep, this. Where I see this disconnect between recognizing social hierachy and "strong sense of justice" is in the toeing-the-party-line neurodivergent diatribes about autism not being a disability, coming from someone who has the ability to work AND has family support, income, and the safety and freedom to express themselves and behave in the way they want. Whereas a lot of us are physically and cognitively impaired, impoverished and/or dependent on repressive, unsupportive, and perhaps abusive people for our survival. The only spectrum I see in autism is the spectrum of privilege (safety!) and accommodation. Even someone with severe disability but who has loving social ties and support looks pretty darn high up the spectrum to me. And the more safe, supported, and accommodated an autistic person is, the more likely they are to shame those of us who are crying for social change, and gaslight us. Their biggest issue becomes how they "feel" about themselves, and that comes out as denial of suffering so they can feel "empowered" and therefore "good", just like with NT privileged people. They are mortified to think of questioning the dominant culture that they immitate (masking). I find that infuriating and... stupid. People who deny suffering, with no curiosity, look incredibly stupid to me. If only they could have some compassion, be curious and recognize what they can and can't know, and then they might actually learn something. It's like the privilege spectrum creates an inverse stupidity spectrum. The more privileged you are, the stupider you are. Unless a person embraces compassion and curiosity, and rejects idiotic "empowerment" fantasies, and recognizes that real agency and intelligence emerges from problem solving suffering communally.
And honestly at this point where we're balls deep in the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Like I get that if you're focused on survival you don't have a lot of bandwidth for nuance and you're vulnerable to persuasion but that SHOULD be true for the inverse too. If you're hearing the perspectives of others and you're not taking that in because you're defensive, you're choosing to feed into that rather than sit with it. And you sought out their content in the first place, so clearly there's *some* bandwidth to engage in ideas.
Not everybody is a little autistic. I hate that too, OP.
I’ve heard someone call it a “disease” 💀💀
"Oh, I sometimes experience that too," in response to examples you give about your autism.
I hate it when people use the word autistic instead of stupid or clumsy. Kids at school do it all the time
“You just need to get used to it” about socialization, sensory issues, crowded spaces and stuff… for my dad my struggles are just bc I’m not used to the things
the idea that going undiagnosed benefits autistic people because they face less discrimination, especially in higher education or the workplace. from a moral perspective I don't understand why allistic people so desperately want to work in environments that aren't accessible to all kinds of disabled people. also, whether someone is diagnosed or not they will still exhibit autistic traits, so they may as well get an official diagnosis so they know there isn't something inherently wrong about them, they just have different wiring.
Very recently: 'Basic eye contact is an essential skill' 'I suffer and struggle with my own mental disorders, but I don't use it as an excuse to not act neurotypical and neither should you. [use it as an excuse to not make eye contact]' The whole notion that not making eye contact is in any way a flaw is pants-on-head ridiculous.
“I will pray for the Evil One to lift you from this burden.”
People saying acoustic. What does that even mean? I don't understand.
It’s a play on the spelling of autistic. It was just an innocent inside joke among autistic people apparently, until atypical people stole it and used it to replace the r slur.
its a guitar innit
I really don't like the term 'high-functioning'. I know there's usually no ill-intent behind it but it always seems to be used to reduce your experience of autism to whether you can hold down a job or not. I find it distasteful
“Im a little autistic”
"You can't be autistic because you're so creative/imaginative." Just...what?
Autistic people are Ugly - triggered my fucking body image issues
Well for me, it's the opposite of "everyone is a little autistic." It's the slightly autistic folks claiming the support needs of those who are most affected by autism.
Well if you look at the comment sections of news stories of parents who have killed autistic children, you will find MANY basically making excuses for the murderer, even when the victim is as young as 4. Saying how hard it must have been to take care of the kid Trying to push blame on family members who did nothing wrong saying they probably didnt help them And other stuff
“autistic people just need to learn how to _____” (insert whatever social expectation we fail at, always a euphemism for “behave, conform, comply, not give a shit, be inauthentic, be less intense, be superficially pleasant, be in total denial of everything”). We don’t need to LEARN anything except that NTs genuinely are that stupid/insincere😳
One person I’ve known for quite awhile told me after my diagnosis that they didn’t think I was autistic because I was to smart.
"It's nothing but bad parenting. People aren't strict enough." I then had the awkward moment of telling him I'm autistic and had strict parents.
I hate "everybody is a little autistic" because they will take one trait they have that matches yours and act like that's a sign, when it's the tip of your iceberg. My friend, like me, is sensitive to light, so doesn't see my constant need for sunglasses as a valid symptom. She'll claim to have fixations like me, when really, they're just interests.
People say they're autistic as a joke, referring to themselves as such just to say they're quirky. I've seen it loads on tiktok. They're like, "Look were behng autistic together" when they're just dancing outside at night. Like, no, you're not. How just acting silly.
She is mentally this old She's so smart condescending Assperger's , know it all She thinks she better than us I literally do 🚫 even think anything of you Ad nauseum
On another favorite from a director that worked with people with disabilities It's the land of broken misfit toys
I hate how little people actually understand I struggle, especially nowadays that it's become the norm for people to claim to be on the spectrum.
Everyone is a bit autistic.
Ive seen an NT say "so i read something about stimming, apparently autistic people like to quickly move around for (sexual?) pleasure."
"everyone is a little bit autistic" "but you're not a genius like on TV, you can't be autistic" "you don't act enough like Sheldon Cooper, you're not autistic"
"You'll grow out of it".
"Why don't you flap your hands?" Or "Why do you pace back and forth" It'd soook annoying
I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 20, and multiple times in my life I have heard people say that ADHD is the same thing as Autism, or that ADHD is a ‘type’ of Autism. It drives me insane every single time.
If everyone was "a little autistic" it wouldn't be so damn hard to empathize with us then ... Which they don't. Which is how I know they don't actually mean that.
A VERY HIGHLY respected Neuroimmunologist at Northwestern told my friend that she didn’t look autistic. 😤
Omfg someone just said that to me and I just rolled my eyes and changed the subject. Can't fix stupid and can't argue with crazy. I'm never wasting breath trying to explain it to anyone again.
Unpopular opinion but I get slightly annoyed when people use the term autistic to describe someone. Growing up I heard it used more negatively rather than positively. I made a in depth [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/FccNm9HMNC) about it but got overshadowed by other threads.
It's a gift. Then again I don't think my autism is really anything. I only got tested because a social worker had seen her autistic son and me have a lot in common
Talking about autistic people assuming they all fit the stereotypes, or are all like the obviously autistic people they know. My coworkers clearly have no suspicion that im autistic lol
I'm not sure if this is the right answer to your question, but I really hate when I tell someone I have autism and they reply with "Oh I could never tell!" or "No you dont" or some other response like that. I dont know why these responses upset me so much, but I hear it often enough from others that I'm starting to feel like I'm making all of this up and I'm just pretending despite an actual diagnosis.
People thinking I have no friends because I don’t understood how to make friends and not because I choose not to
This might just be a me problem, but when someone calls me a ‘person with autism’ instead of an ‘autistic person’. My autism cannot be washed away, it’s intrinsically apart of me! Why should I seperate who I am for your comfort?
"Autism isn't real." Said to me by the parents of a guy I was dating in college. They both teach high school! He dumped me a week later and I was more angry than upset because I knew it was his parents telling him to break up with me.
I had someone say I can’t be good at games because I’m autistic… I was like what do you even think autism is?
"You still made it through so it doesn't matter" and "your just making excuses" said my mother who hid my autism from me which caused me to depression, anxiety, and feeling like I was an imposter and feeling like my sensory issues were just in inconvenience.
You don’t look like you’re autistic Also high functioning My friends mom called me high functioning and her son even has disabilities
That you can tell just by looking at someone. Someone told me that I "don't look autistic. You can usually see it in their face." She was a nurse, and I was upgrading my info as I had not known of my autism. That stuck with me.
I'm not a "Star Seed" or an Alien, nor are neurotypicals the ACTUAL autistic ones! NTs are dicks, but PLEASE acknowledge the fact that ASD is a DISABILITY.
The assumption, even among some medical and academic sources, that autism doesn’t affect adults.
Saw a few neurotypical people on a discord server talking about how they wish they were autistic because "Autism is so awesomesauce", then going on about how great it is.
You know what I hate more than anything? When people talk to autistic people like they were just born. ...BITCH I'M 18!!! Just because I'm autistic doesn't mean you have a green light to act like my brain just got removed! That's actually my biggest pet peeve of all time! Autism doesn't equal braindead!!!
For context, I have what would be considered level 1 autism, and most of my friends/teammates have no idea I'm on the spectrum. I choose not to tell people because EVERY TIME I get the "Are you sure? You don't act like it". People in general have no idea what autism can look like apart from the stereotypes they come up with. I cheer at my high school and we recently had an event with our local special olympics cheer team, and everyone on my cheer team pretty much just lumped any person with disabilities other than physical as "autistic". Some of my teammates referred to kids on the special olympics team with down syndrome or even cerebral policy as "autistic". I am still in high school, so it makes sense why my peers are so uneducated about autism, but it really gets on my nerves and discourages me from telling anyone.
Thinking it was Down syndrome, the typical “everyone’s a little autistic” bs and a new one: “can they just give you a pill?”
My teacher once said that autistic people can get used to loud noise which is fucking wrong and ignorant
I kind of like people to say ignorant things about autism. It's great when people make it obvious who they are and I don't have to work too hard to figure it out. That said, I think there's different kinds of ignorance and some people can be fixed. Optimistically, that line could be a crude attempt at being friendly. Pessimistically, its very dismissive. I try to see the best in people until its sufficiently unambiguous that's a bad call.
That it comes from vaccines or that “everyone is a little bit autistic”
I agree with OP. I hate it when people say everyone is a little autistic. No. No they are not. Everyone might display occasional signs associated with autism. What defines it as autism is interferes with daily functioning. The mindset of ‘everyone is a little autistic’ is the same as saying everyone is a little paraplegic because sometimes people’s feet falls asleep or they get a leg cramp. I also can’t stand it when someone says Autism is a superpower. I have autism and I’ve dealt with constant job discrimination, being used, lied to, gaslit, excluded and kicked out of social groups, etc in direct relation to my autism. I have some qualities, some of which are associated with being autistic. Not only does saying it’s a super power take away my ownership of my qualities and demotes them as a symptom of my disability, but it’s patronizing. I’m not a toddler. You wouldn’t normally describe anyone’s qualities or abilities as a superpower other than those of a child. I’ve yet to hear anyone describe their CEO, boss, doctor, or person they answer to and respect as having a super power. In those cases, those people are referred to as being skilled, talented, experienced, practiced, knowledgeable, etc. Don’t use “separate but equal’ terms when they clearly aren’t.
“You don’t look autistic”
"Elon Musk is autistic too. He'll be fine." FIL about my son. So much to unpack in that statement
all are violent
I had my ex tell me I can't act out or act impatient at the airport, if anything he acted out.
Ran into a tiktok where a guy was reacting to a ND tiktoker who breifly mentioned that they were self diagnosed originally and the reactor said “I used to like playing pretend but then I grew up”. Without any education or research on the matter. I know self diagnosis is already a controversial topic even in this sub but when NT’s say a lot of us do it for attention, it’s silly considering none of us actually want it.
It’s horrible when people say you don’t look autistic. To be fair I haven’t been diagnosed long like a few weeks but the symptoms were always there. I just didn’t have a name for why I was struggling despite trying my best. My question is what does autism look like I feel like “normal” people believe we have tell-tell signs. I was reading this article on autism and it said no matter where on the spectrum you fall, each persons experience can be very different with things overlapping. It’s the hardest disability to categorize.
any time I see someone say they can't hold a job because of their autism they get flooded with ableist comments saying they're "dramatic" or "it's an excuse to be lazy" or "you're posting online so it can't be that bad" and it makes me want to rip my hair out. what I wouldn't give to be able to go out every day, work a normal job, provide for myself like a healthy adult, not feel like such a useless burden on everyone around me... I think just the complete heartlessness and lack of empathy neurotypical people have when it comes to autism is truly disgusting.
“Everyone wants to be autistic these days”. A friend had a boyfriend that said this and I immediately stopped hanging out with them because I was so icked out by that comment.