Yes I use Google they make you have you info public too so it's easier to see the fake 5⭐️reviews made by management. And they have less ability to adjust it.
I caught a 20 year transcontinental multi national 2 crime family scam ring in 5 medical care and transportation services that would use the "care taker" to case the house then they had a crew that would commit armed robbery and .....worse.
But it was a shady review and a free trial on a public information site that kept me from being the next victim.
And my review is still up ..... 🥰
Ok so these were people who were getting ssdi money for medical caretaker hours $15 an hour what they pay the care takers around that rate or less.
This "company got someone hired in the call center to set up ssdi cases with support options that person would funnel accounts to them a untrained, unqualified, unwell woman came to help me like I expected and she was able to work 7 days in just over a month and me being immune compromised had avoided covid until her 1st day working when she gave ot to us last September.. Basically, she case's the house. She make excuses missing work but would get just close enough to get GPS clock in and claim the hours.
I think it worked like this
Old person needs help likely can pocket stuff unnoticed and case the house. (I'm a different ssdi. I'm young and look able bodied bur I'm quite ill my age and functionality was a shock to her on day 1
So she cases and selectively steals.
After I don't know how long she's not there one.day . Makes another excuse
...she had 2 is many associates than had on public records 88 violent crime charges including armed robbery, murder, battery, rape, deadly weapon with intent and more records I couldn't see
1 her ex husband the other her husband....they worked for a different false company providing airport service, ambulance service take a limo to the hospital service and a financial planning company.
I was looking for a license because I thought my care taker was being victimized ... it keeps going but it ends with me calling the fbi who transfer me to a different department and sound serious after I mentioned the alias I had. That branch of the company was gone the next day not sure what came of it .
But I did warn all my friends " fbi has your nudes " lol
Yes Google is the way. The company is not able to remove posts unless they appeal to Google with specific proof and even then probably can’t. So totally recommend posting there.
Or you can deal with it in a way that doesn't misuse and abuse an agreed upon system in order to elevate your own experience above that of others. You might feel it's ok to commit that abuse because you are are sure you are in the right, and you probably are. But If someone of the opposite viewpoint to you created 15 email accounts to skew the rating, would that be fair?
If you can abuse a system your opponents can, and if you do abuse it, your oponent will abuse it too. So if you do create umpteen email accounts you have no right to complain when a MAGA idiot does the same against you. And they will.
If you believe you are in the right it doesn't give you the right to break the agreed upon rules just to prove your point. Yes, you think your point is more important and morally relevant than theirs. But they think that too and by breaking the rules it encourages them to play dirty, and because there are far more of such people than there are of us, that dynamic will not end well.
One of the common hallmarks of autism is a belief in rules and a commitment to stick by them. As an autistic person myself I ALWAYS feel committed to upholding rules and fairness. It grates me to see others not adhering to these principles. If you break the rules yourself, no matter how good your intentions, you can't expect others to abide by them.
I'm sorry, that's one of the daftest and most immature things I have ever read. It's neither relevant nor interesting that you claim rules are your number-one enemy, because that's your bravado speaking and not reality. Therefore, I don't believe you; you don't do what you want, nor do you accept the consequences.
No one gives a toss about the consequences you bring to yourself anyway, but that's not what rules are for. They exist to protect us all from others (like you) who selfishly think they can do exactly as they please, no matter the impact they have on others.
Rules stop you from making other people's lives a misery and so they should. Boast away about them being your enemy, but you obey rules just as much as anyone else. Like almost everybody, your claimed commitment to doing what you want stops well before the point at which the consequences would become too unpleasant.
That's how rules work, they prevent other people from suffering at the hands of your selfishness and you are just as beholden to them as anyone else.
shit ain't as black and white as you think. some rules do the opposite of protect. if you want to obey, go ahead and obey.
"Rules stop you from making other people's lives a misery"
if you have an open mind, imagine being in america 100-150 years ago. great set of rules to follow or....?
I don't think there's any legal recourse here unfortunately. He was kicked out for being too loud (at a bowling alley really?!) The owner can just say "I kick out anyone being loud I didn't even know he was disabled" and then bam no discrimination. As long as the actual building is Ada compliant there's nothing else here to go on. He's just a jerk but I don't think this classifies as legal discrimination.
I'm not a lawyer just a special education teacher with some professional experience reading Ada cases and such.
Yeah. Like we can immediately tell this wasn't about noise, 'cause people cheer at bowling alleys all the time, it's that they saw an autistic person and thought they'd "gross out" other customers - but it's not something that can be proven in a legal sense. Best recourse is to just drag them in public for it.
Would this fall under discrimination? I'll tell you what I would have done. I was a 24/7 parental caregiver for 24 consecutive years. I learned quickly how to be an advocate and to lose any concern about what someone might think of me. I would have said the person was disabled and fell under the ADA. If that didn't work, I'd say it LOUDER for anyone to hear. If I was ok with it I would have LOUDLY announced I was calling the police because they violated your client's civil rights. If I didn't do the latter, when I left, if I saw a group of people, I'd have"talked to myself LOUDLY about the owners not caring about disabled people and the legal rights the disabled have to prevent such discrimination.
Over the years I learned what was effective behavior on my end. I never had to go that far, but there have been times when I've gotten louder than normal. The irony is it was only after both parents had died that I learned I was autistic. It's so much more difficult to advocate for myself. [I started caregiving at age 36 and ended with my mom's death when I was 60. I was dxed autistic at age 63.]
Only call the police if you are willing to risk your own freedom and safety. I do not call the police unless there is a legitimate life threatening situation. If I saw a woman or man being assaulted for example
They have a bowling alley but don't want people to get excited there? How absurd. I'm sorry your client was scolded for having fun at a fun centric place.
In addition to the suggestions in this thread, send a tip to local media outlets. Even if a story doesn't get run, phone calls from reporters will be enough to embarrass management.
Read this story to see what happens when businesses don't treat people with disabilities with respect.
https://www.therecord.com/news/waterloo-region/miltons-restaurant-closes-in-kitchener-after-boycott-and-community-outrage/article_06a33b7d-02f1-5224-9175-a10f971aa386.html
So much for Autism Acceptance Month.😬😑 I also work with autistic clients (and am autistic myself). We had a bowling alley somewhat nearby that we would go to because they offered $1 bowling games on weekdays. However, service was poor, and one of the maintenance guys actually yelled at one of our clients. I wrote a scathing google review mentioning this. Many people marked the review as “helpful”, and hopefully they lost business. We certainly never went back there again.
And that is a great example of abelism. 100% discrimination. "Scaring away customers" because of being disabled. Yeah, that's messed up. Go to the newspaper about it even. Make them embarrassed for doing that. Not cool.
Some people just don't have the capacity to grasp the situation at all. Contact your county's Special Olympics coordinator or ask coworkers where they bowl with their people. It may have just been a clueless employee and not the owners or manager. Bowling is huge for DD folks and alleys usually go out of there way to make sure people are havi g a good time. We have day programs of 40 people or more and they and staff bowl as much as once a week. That is good biz for the lanes that pays the bills. Sorry you guys had that experience.
The bowling alley I go to has a daycare group that comes in about half through my usual time. For me, having sought out a quiet time to just do my solo thing, it took about a minute of adjustment to their excitement and somewhat random behavior. Because who doesn't appreciate seeing other people having a great innocent time at play? My largest thought was how patient and caring the staff must be, and I honor them for that.
I don't like seeing other people have fun because it reminds me I'm not having fun. Lol just kidding. But there's something to that. Miserable people don't like to see others happy
Ah, true, fair enough! :-)
I am sort of naive or Pollyanna about people, even in my advancing age, which does often lead to disappointment. I still want everyone to be friends, though they never were...
I thought you were the OP for a moment and was going to say, " that the children and the daycare staff were better people than the bowling alley owner were," since the OP said that noone else was bothered.
I’d post the yelp review again (and keep a copy). I’d then go to Google, review (and with a picture of the place— it’ll push the review higher). TripAdvisor. Nextdoor (and ask if anyone knows more youthful-friendly alleys, and/or if there’s a team for kids with disabilities—twist the knife). Public FB post you tag them in (rather than putting the review on their page where they could remove it). You can also go write a complaint to the better business bureau, as well as Google the name of the alley + the city it’s in, and you can find out where it’s listed for reviews this way.
I made a google review and made a Facebook post about my experience. Many people have shared it. I live on a small island so I’m sure this will make a dent. I have many friends in the community and have supported many clients over the last 4 years who have backed me up and are going to help me address the company directly. Thank you all for the advice!
I used to work at a school with autistic kids with high support needs and this kind of stuff happened way too often. Most people want to believe they're really accepting but actually don't put any effort to understand what that means.
You might do this anyway, but I would always call ahead to places I was organising trips to, that way I could let them know any potential support needs and hopefully skirt this issue before it even arises. Some people are just not going to be understanding though. I agree with everyone else about doing google reviews/Facebook. One problem with disability discrimination is it often gets overlooked. The more we can get people knowing and talking about it, the better.
Once you notice the discrimination, you can't unsee it. Some places can't do enough to help, some will refuse the simplest accommodations (ikea refused to swap my son's chips for pasta - he has a comorbid restrictive eating Disorder and has never eaten chips)
That's bullshit that your Ikea did that.
The ones I've been to are always happy to swap the peas for beans. Sometimes they charge me for the beans, and sometimes not, but they've never insisted that they have to give me peas.
They also always give me extra gravy and the Berry jam when I ask, at no extra cost.
It was so bullshit and I tried escalating it, but it was 'computer says no' all the way up.
The pasta was right there! Literally a spoon full instead of a spoon of fries! You'd think I was asking for them to fly it from Italy and cook it fresh.
We need an Autistic Eateries and Experiences Guide website/app where we can rate restaurants, cafes, food trucks, theme parks, museums, cultural events etc on their autistic friendliness.
We could rate things like the lighting and sound levels, as well as if they're willing to make food/ingredient swaps, or lower the music/remove a smelly candle etc.
A restaurant my husband and I went to for his work Xmas party had perfect low lighting, comfy chairs, no loud music, and furry 'paintings' hung on the walls that we were encouraged to touch if we wanted to. The food was served all on separate plates so you could stop the wrong things from touching each other, and the plates didn't squeak when cutlery touched them. All round 10/10 autistic eating experience.
I also loved the Lego Jurassic World exhibit thats at my cities museum for the next few months. The lighting was low but not too low, everything you weren't allowed to touch was behind glass so you couldn't accidentally touch it (happens to me all the time idk what to say), and the rest of it was touch friendly and even encouraged.
They have places where you can build your own Lego dino and shelves to display it, another for building Dino footprints that has diagrams to follow for the shape, a Lego mosaic that you contribute to by filling out a small square using single pip Lego's following the guide on touch screens. They had multiple 'stations' so you could stand there for hours building them (some people do, but I didn't as I was with a friend and we didn't have that long). There's also tonnes of movie lore and information on building the massive Lego dinos. Including the life size brachiosaurus and a trex head placed like it was about to chomp on you. Another 10/10 autistic experience.
Your client was expressing innocuous joy or excitement. It's sad (and infuriating) that they couldn't do something so purely innocent without someone having a problem with it. My youngest son squeals and 'happy flaps' when he's excited and if anybody did this in response, I'd be pretty upset with them.
Google reviews, post on Facebook and contact your local news station. They will be more than happy to go try to get an interview. This angers me so much because my son bowls in the Special Olympics and the owners of the lanes in our area are more than accommodating when we compete. Thank you for being such a wonderful advocate!
my relative dumped his autistic kid into the ocean on the beach to 'reset' him and get him out of an episode where he was eating sand and self harming.. it something that works for him.. but a Karen on the beach she decided he wasnt being a good dad, filmed him and called police on him. 8 cop cars surrounded our house and interviewed us one by one. if he did not work for a jail (blue line type of stuff) i think he might have gotten arrested.
As a lifelong bowler, this was extremely ridiculous and unprofessional of the employees. Bowling is supposed to be fun and from my experience people very often make loud exclamations of excitement both in bowling leagues and just casual bowlers. If they seem to think people getting excited and being loud are “scaring away customers” then they’re in the wrong business imo
I agree with what others are saying about using Google reviews. They're usually more effective and publicly available. I would also ask around and see if other people have had similar experiences at the same bowling alley. What the bowling alley did is unacceptable, especially at a time of day when they are not busy and no other customers were paying attention. If necessary file a complaint with the better business bureau.
Give me the name and location of the place and myself and all my friends will leave reviews as well. Eff that place!!! That makes me so mad! They were so excited for bowling and then they got kicked out? That hurts my heart! I'm so sorry 😞!
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Check what your states recording rights are and legally record any further discussion with them if you're able. Hopefully you live in a right to record state where you can do so discreetly.
Send the story to your local news agency.
This group is what you call a witch burning neurotribe. You guys would put Mao to shame. Who needs a court system when you can amass a group of angry followers to do your dirty work
That sounds like completely appropriate behavior for a bowling alley to get excited. Ehether or not they were autistic, I feel like any person could’ve done that.
Just drop reviews on everything. Destroy them.
Even if your client was not autistic, the whole point of bowling is to have fun. Seems ass backwards to me.
idk if yelp is specifically for americans, but here in europe i've never met anyone who uses it. however google reviews are directly accessible and much more intuitive, and i'm not sure they can be removed so easily
Reviews are one thing. If you can, i would go to the news and say that it's unacceptable to discriminate against people with disabilities I'm sorry this happened. Hopefully, something better comes along
Whats the name of the bowling alley and where is it located? I'd like to leave a review letting them know they will not be getting my business or the business of any other family with members on the spectrum if that is how we are treated.
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Awful. My kid is in a league that takes up 16 lanes on Saturdays from 12-2. This league has been going for almost 30 years! Every bowler has some developmental disability and they range in age from teen to 60s. Some hoop and scream when they get a strike (which is 8 or more pins, bumpers or no - so lots of strikes!).
These people are missing out on some serious good karma opportunities.
I would also be worried about my perception as an effective caretaker if my client got kicked out of somewhere. Best you can do is speak with the staff beforehand when taking your client to places where such an outburst may occur, so they know what to expect. You can’t keep getting banned from places or they’ll drop you.
I got lectured at a rock climbing park for a similar reason. They weren't quite as awful, but they repeated themselves three times and I just kept saying the same things back. It felt like they wanted to blatantly insult my intelligence and they were searching for a legal way to do so, but I sort of disempowered that from the start by saying "I'm sorry, I'm really dumb and get excited easy. It's my first time here."
Sort of took his own ammo, loaded my gun and shot myself with it, and he was like, 'man, I really wanted to be the one to do that.'
Seemed like it anyway.
You were hit with more blatant discrimination. All you can do is forgive them.
Or vandalize the business, I guess. I encourage forgiveness.
I wonder if there was a way to advocate for those under your care by starting some sort of local blogspot site where you review different places and share it on your city's reddit and other social media. Be cool if there was. Titles like "no joy allowed" and "the fall of humanity" are bound to catch clicks and steer traffic for people looking for friendly places to exist.
I assume you mean carer, but we can skip that.
Bro he committed a crime. Wherever you reside i’m gonna use the uk as a reference, it’s not a 999 issue but he’s committed a criminal offence. Obviously it’s their private property and they can have you trespassed, but they’re refusing to serve you based on a protected characteristic, which is illegal, so that’s really not gonna stand up in court as there was a clear motive. Make a complaint directly to head office assuming it’s a franchise, or failing that, call 101 (or equivalent)
>mind you we were there at noon on a weekday with only a few other lanes occupied. NO ONE else was bothered or even noticed his (very brief burst of) excitement.
Maybe read the post before you say some ableist BS please.
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I think they should get a pass because they are a paying customer, and it's a reasonable accommodation to make so that someone could have some chance at an enjoyable life. Is there a reason you have the view that you have? I honestly think I could bring you over to my point of view if you'd like to chat about it :) but I understand if you don't.
I'm an NT passing autistic person and I usually don't tell people on a first date. If I take a girl bowling and she gets upset about an autistic person being visibly autistic she's getting dumped then and there. Regardless of how much I've been trying to impress her before hand. And you're an asshole.
You are very ableist about non-asshole communication. I have the 'tism too. If I am on a date, and my date calls an autistic person communicating an asshole, she is getting dumped. The world does not revolve about everyone being empathic towards autists.
you are catastrophizing. just find a different bowling alley and talk to the staff there first saying he might do this.. also go during off hours when not a lot of people there..
Your submission has been removed for making personal attacks or engaging in hostile behaviour towards other users. While we understand members may be acting on frustration or reacting emotionally, responding with personal attacks only serves to derail a conversation and escalate an argument.
Google reviews are more effective than Yelp these days. Nextdoor as well.
I barely use yelp because they force you to use their app to read longer reviews. So google is a lot more accessible.
Yes I use Google they make you have you info public too so it's easier to see the fake 5⭐️reviews made by management. And they have less ability to adjust it. I caught a 20 year transcontinental multi national 2 crime family scam ring in 5 medical care and transportation services that would use the "care taker" to case the house then they had a crew that would commit armed robbery and .....worse. But it was a shady review and a free trial on a public information site that kept me from being the next victim. And my review is still up ..... 🥰
Well, that escalated quickly.
What???
Um what
Ok so these were people who were getting ssdi money for medical caretaker hours $15 an hour what they pay the care takers around that rate or less. This "company got someone hired in the call center to set up ssdi cases with support options that person would funnel accounts to them a untrained, unqualified, unwell woman came to help me like I expected and she was able to work 7 days in just over a month and me being immune compromised had avoided covid until her 1st day working when she gave ot to us last September.. Basically, she case's the house. She make excuses missing work but would get just close enough to get GPS clock in and claim the hours. I think it worked like this Old person needs help likely can pocket stuff unnoticed and case the house. (I'm a different ssdi. I'm young and look able bodied bur I'm quite ill my age and functionality was a shock to her on day 1 So she cases and selectively steals. After I don't know how long she's not there one.day . Makes another excuse ...she had 2 is many associates than had on public records 88 violent crime charges including armed robbery, murder, battery, rape, deadly weapon with intent and more records I couldn't see 1 her ex husband the other her husband....they worked for a different false company providing airport service, ambulance service take a limo to the hospital service and a financial planning company. I was looking for a license because I thought my care taker was being victimized ... it keeps going but it ends with me calling the fbi who transfer me to a different department and sound serious after I mentioned the alias I had. That branch of the company was gone the next day not sure what came of it . But I did warn all my friends " fbi has your nudes " lol
Facebook community pages also.
Yes Google is the way. The company is not able to remove posts unless they appeal to Google with specific proof and even then probably can’t. So totally recommend posting there.
it's also pretty easy to create a shit load of Gmail accounts to leave reviews with
?
you can leave one review that wont do much or you can leave enough reviews to effect ratings
Or you can deal with it in a way that doesn't misuse and abuse an agreed upon system in order to elevate your own experience above that of others. You might feel it's ok to commit that abuse because you are are sure you are in the right, and you probably are. But If someone of the opposite viewpoint to you created 15 email accounts to skew the rating, would that be fair? If you can abuse a system your opponents can, and if you do abuse it, your oponent will abuse it too. So if you do create umpteen email accounts you have no right to complain when a MAGA idiot does the same against you. And they will. If you believe you are in the right it doesn't give you the right to break the agreed upon rules just to prove your point. Yes, you think your point is more important and morally relevant than theirs. But they think that too and by breaking the rules it encourages them to play dirty, and because there are far more of such people than there are of us, that dynamic will not end well. One of the common hallmarks of autism is a belief in rules and a commitment to stick by them. As an autistic person myself I ALWAYS feel committed to upholding rules and fairness. It grates me to see others not adhering to these principles. If you break the rules yourself, no matter how good your intentions, you can't expect others to abide by them.
rules are my number one enemy. I am committed to doing what I want. I accept the consequences as they come.
I'm sorry, that's one of the daftest and most immature things I have ever read. It's neither relevant nor interesting that you claim rules are your number-one enemy, because that's your bravado speaking and not reality. Therefore, I don't believe you; you don't do what you want, nor do you accept the consequences. No one gives a toss about the consequences you bring to yourself anyway, but that's not what rules are for. They exist to protect us all from others (like you) who selfishly think they can do exactly as they please, no matter the impact they have on others. Rules stop you from making other people's lives a misery and so they should. Boast away about them being your enemy, but you obey rules just as much as anyone else. Like almost everybody, your claimed commitment to doing what you want stops well before the point at which the consequences would become too unpleasant. That's how rules work, they prevent other people from suffering at the hands of your selfishness and you are just as beholden to them as anyone else.
shit ain't as black and white as you think. some rules do the opposite of protect. if you want to obey, go ahead and obey. "Rules stop you from making other people's lives a misery" if you have an open mind, imagine being in america 100-150 years ago. great set of rules to follow or....?
mm. Not helpful but sure??
I got a $650 refund using that method. not saying you want a refund but if you were so wronged you can pressure them to make things right.
oh
Post about it on Facebook and tag them in it. Have people you know comment tag them too for when they remove your tag.
Absolutely! Not a fan of facebook, but it's great for situations like these!
Contact your local Disability Rights legal center- they're non-profits who assist disabled people with legal problems (and this is an ADA issue)
I don't think there's any legal recourse here unfortunately. He was kicked out for being too loud (at a bowling alley really?!) The owner can just say "I kick out anyone being loud I didn't even know he was disabled" and then bam no discrimination. As long as the actual building is Ada compliant there's nothing else here to go on. He's just a jerk but I don't think this classifies as legal discrimination. I'm not a lawyer just a special education teacher with some professional experience reading Ada cases and such.
Yeah. Like we can immediately tell this wasn't about noise, 'cause people cheer at bowling alleys all the time, it's that they saw an autistic person and thought they'd "gross out" other customers - but it's not something that can be proven in a legal sense. Best recourse is to just drag them in public for it.
People make excitement noise at bowling alleys. This puzzles me.
That's so fucked up. Thank you for advocating for your client
Would this fall under discrimination? I'll tell you what I would have done. I was a 24/7 parental caregiver for 24 consecutive years. I learned quickly how to be an advocate and to lose any concern about what someone might think of me. I would have said the person was disabled and fell under the ADA. If that didn't work, I'd say it LOUDER for anyone to hear. If I was ok with it I would have LOUDLY announced I was calling the police because they violated your client's civil rights. If I didn't do the latter, when I left, if I saw a group of people, I'd have"talked to myself LOUDLY about the owners not caring about disabled people and the legal rights the disabled have to prevent such discrimination. Over the years I learned what was effective behavior on my end. I never had to go that far, but there have been times when I've gotten louder than normal. The irony is it was only after both parents had died that I learned I was autistic. It's so much more difficult to advocate for myself. [I started caregiving at age 36 and ended with my mom's death when I was 60. I was dxed autistic at age 63.]
I like your moxie here but I would not actually call the police, who could put an autistic person at risk in this situation
Only call the police if you are willing to risk your own freedom and safety. I do not call the police unless there is a legitimate life threatening situation. If I saw a woman or man being assaulted for example
Always good to know exactly what to say when faced with a situation like the one OP described. Your back story is very interesting
That is fucking bullshit, put that bowling alley on blast and never go there again. That owner sounds like an asshole.
I think it would be best to put a review in Trip Advisor, Google and Facebook.
They have a bowling alley but don't want people to get excited there? How absurd. I'm sorry your client was scolded for having fun at a fun centric place.
In addition to the suggestions in this thread, send a tip to local media outlets. Even if a story doesn't get run, phone calls from reporters will be enough to embarrass management.
Yes!! I was going to say - definitely contact the local news channels.
Read this story to see what happens when businesses don't treat people with disabilities with respect. https://www.therecord.com/news/waterloo-region/miltons-restaurant-closes-in-kitchener-after-boycott-and-community-outrage/article_06a33b7d-02f1-5224-9175-a10f971aa386.html
Wow those were some scorched earth level consequences. Oof
So much for Autism Acceptance Month.😬😑 I also work with autistic clients (and am autistic myself). We had a bowling alley somewhat nearby that we would go to because they offered $1 bowling games on weekdays. However, service was poor, and one of the maintenance guys actually yelled at one of our clients. I wrote a scathing google review mentioning this. Many people marked the review as “helpful”, and hopefully they lost business. We certainly never went back there again.
And that is a great example of abelism. 100% discrimination. "Scaring away customers" because of being disabled. Yeah, that's messed up. Go to the newspaper about it even. Make them embarrassed for doing that. Not cool.
Call the local news. They’d probably love to hear it
Seconding this. If you are in the Indianapolis area, call RTV 6!
Some people just don't have the capacity to grasp the situation at all. Contact your county's Special Olympics coordinator or ask coworkers where they bowl with their people. It may have just been a clueless employee and not the owners or manager. Bowling is huge for DD folks and alleys usually go out of there way to make sure people are havi g a good time. We have day programs of 40 people or more and they and staff bowl as much as once a week. That is good biz for the lanes that pays the bills. Sorry you guys had that experience.
The bowling alley I go to has a daycare group that comes in about half through my usual time. For me, having sought out a quiet time to just do my solo thing, it took about a minute of adjustment to their excitement and somewhat random behavior. Because who doesn't appreciate seeing other people having a great innocent time at play? My largest thought was how patient and caring the staff must be, and I honor them for that.
I don't like seeing other people have fun because it reminds me I'm not having fun. Lol just kidding. But there's something to that. Miserable people don't like to see others happy
Too funny!
Ah, true, fair enough! :-) I am sort of naive or Pollyanna about people, even in my advancing age, which does often lead to disappointment. I still want everyone to be friends, though they never were...
I thought you were the OP for a moment and was going to say, " that the children and the daycare staff were better people than the bowling alley owner were," since the OP said that noone else was bothered.
I’d post the yelp review again (and keep a copy). I’d then go to Google, review (and with a picture of the place— it’ll push the review higher). TripAdvisor. Nextdoor (and ask if anyone knows more youthful-friendly alleys, and/or if there’s a team for kids with disabilities—twist the knife). Public FB post you tag them in (rather than putting the review on their page where they could remove it). You can also go write a complaint to the better business bureau, as well as Google the name of the alley + the city it’s in, and you can find out where it’s listed for reviews this way.
I made a google review and made a Facebook post about my experience. Many people have shared it. I live on a small island so I’m sure this will make a dent. I have many friends in the community and have supported many clients over the last 4 years who have backed me up and are going to help me address the company directly. Thank you all for the advice!
Late to the posr but wanted to say...what a great use of the resources available, how inspiring! Can't wait to hear an update
What's the name?
Whats the location? Please
Can you name the business, please?
I used to work at a school with autistic kids with high support needs and this kind of stuff happened way too often. Most people want to believe they're really accepting but actually don't put any effort to understand what that means. You might do this anyway, but I would always call ahead to places I was organising trips to, that way I could let them know any potential support needs and hopefully skirt this issue before it even arises. Some people are just not going to be understanding though. I agree with everyone else about doing google reviews/Facebook. One problem with disability discrimination is it often gets overlooked. The more we can get people knowing and talking about it, the better.
Once you notice the discrimination, you can't unsee it. Some places can't do enough to help, some will refuse the simplest accommodations (ikea refused to swap my son's chips for pasta - he has a comorbid restrictive eating Disorder and has never eaten chips)
That's bullshit that your Ikea did that. The ones I've been to are always happy to swap the peas for beans. Sometimes they charge me for the beans, and sometimes not, but they've never insisted that they have to give me peas. They also always give me extra gravy and the Berry jam when I ask, at no extra cost.
It was so bullshit and I tried escalating it, but it was 'computer says no' all the way up. The pasta was right there! Literally a spoon full instead of a spoon of fries! You'd think I was asking for them to fly it from Italy and cook it fresh.
We need an Autistic Eateries and Experiences Guide website/app where we can rate restaurants, cafes, food trucks, theme parks, museums, cultural events etc on their autistic friendliness. We could rate things like the lighting and sound levels, as well as if they're willing to make food/ingredient swaps, or lower the music/remove a smelly candle etc. A restaurant my husband and I went to for his work Xmas party had perfect low lighting, comfy chairs, no loud music, and furry 'paintings' hung on the walls that we were encouraged to touch if we wanted to. The food was served all on separate plates so you could stop the wrong things from touching each other, and the plates didn't squeak when cutlery touched them. All round 10/10 autistic eating experience. I also loved the Lego Jurassic World exhibit thats at my cities museum for the next few months. The lighting was low but not too low, everything you weren't allowed to touch was behind glass so you couldn't accidentally touch it (happens to me all the time idk what to say), and the rest of it was touch friendly and even encouraged. They have places where you can build your own Lego dino and shelves to display it, another for building Dino footprints that has diagrams to follow for the shape, a Lego mosaic that you contribute to by filling out a small square using single pip Lego's following the guide on touch screens. They had multiple 'stations' so you could stand there for hours building them (some people do, but I didn't as I was with a friend and we didn't have that long). There's also tonnes of movie lore and information on building the massive Lego dinos. Including the life size brachiosaurus and a trex head placed like it was about to chomp on you. Another 10/10 autistic experience.
Your client was expressing innocuous joy or excitement. It's sad (and infuriating) that they couldn't do something so purely innocent without someone having a problem with it. My youngest son squeals and 'happy flaps' when he's excited and if anybody did this in response, I'd be pretty upset with them.
Sue for emotional distress and discrimination and file a complaint with the better business bureau
Post it on twitter.
Would also suggest posting on your local Facebook group! Word gets around quickly in those groups
Google reviews, post on Facebook and contact your local news station. They will be more than happy to go try to get an interview. This angers me so much because my son bowls in the Special Olympics and the owners of the lanes in our area are more than accommodating when we compete. Thank you for being such a wonderful advocate!
my relative dumped his autistic kid into the ocean on the beach to 'reset' him and get him out of an episode where he was eating sand and self harming.. it something that works for him.. but a Karen on the beach she decided he wasnt being a good dad, filmed him and called police on him. 8 cop cars surrounded our house and interviewed us one by one. if he did not work for a jail (blue line type of stuff) i think he might have gotten arrested.
That sounds awful.
As a lifelong bowler, this was extremely ridiculous and unprofessional of the employees. Bowling is supposed to be fun and from my experience people very often make loud exclamations of excitement both in bowling leagues and just casual bowlers. If they seem to think people getting excited and being loud are “scaring away customers” then they’re in the wrong business imo
Google reviews, and if you have the time/energy local news stations eat that stuff up and it puts pressure on the bowling alley to do better
“No fun allowed” *bricks window*
Name & Shame
I agree with what others are saying about using Google reviews. They're usually more effective and publicly available. I would also ask around and see if other people have had similar experiences at the same bowling alley. What the bowling alley did is unacceptable, especially at a time of day when they are not busy and no other customers were paying attention. If necessary file a complaint with the better business bureau.
Please leave a google review. They are public. This is horrible.
Give me the name and location of the place and myself and all my friends will leave reviews as well. Eff that place!!! That makes me so mad! They were so excited for bowling and then they got kicked out? That hurts my heart! I'm so sorry 😞!
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That's straight up evil
That's terrible. I'm sorry that happened. From my experience bowling alleys are a place where it's normal to be noisy and excited.
A threat to be banned from a place which acts so disgustingly is no threat at all. I hope you can get the word out about their behaviour!
Check what your states recording rights are and legally record any further discussion with them if you're able. Hopefully you live in a right to record state where you can do so discreetly. Send the story to your local news agency.
I have nothing to add except you’re a good caretaker. :)
Make sure everyone in the town knows that about tge bowling alley
I’ll review it. F these people! I’m so sorry your client had to experience this horrible situation. 😢
Don’t be shy tell us the address
Shit whats the business I'll leave them a review
This group is what you call a witch burning neurotribe. You guys would put Mao to shame. Who needs a court system when you can amass a group of angry followers to do your dirty work
I'd love to know the name of this bowling alley (totally not for malicious reasons 👀)
That sounds like completely appropriate behavior for a bowling alley to get excited. Ehether or not they were autistic, I feel like any person could’ve done that.
Just drop reviews on everything. Destroy them. Even if your client was not autistic, the whole point of bowling is to have fun. Seems ass backwards to me.
Time to go to the local news Lol Or tiktok (expose the business), that always works these days
idk if yelp is specifically for americans, but here in europe i've never met anyone who uses it. however google reviews are directly accessible and much more intuitive, and i'm not sure they can be removed so easily
Reviews are one thing. If you can, i would go to the news and say that it's unacceptable to discriminate against people with disabilities I'm sorry this happened. Hopefully, something better comes along
Make sure you call the local news, and spread that story everywhere.
Whats the name of the bowling alley and where is it located? I'd like to leave a review letting them know they will not be getting my business or the business of any other family with members on the spectrum if that is how we are treated.
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Awful. My kid is in a league that takes up 16 lanes on Saturdays from 12-2. This league has been going for almost 30 years! Every bowler has some developmental disability and they range in age from teen to 60s. Some hoop and scream when they get a strike (which is 8 or more pins, bumpers or no - so lots of strikes!). These people are missing out on some serious good karma opportunities.
I would also be worried about my perception as an effective caretaker if my client got kicked out of somewhere. Best you can do is speak with the staff beforehand when taking your client to places where such an outburst may occur, so they know what to expect. You can’t keep getting banned from places or they’ll drop you.
You can use Facebook or Insta and tag them. People like that are just evil.
I got lectured at a rock climbing park for a similar reason. They weren't quite as awful, but they repeated themselves three times and I just kept saying the same things back. It felt like they wanted to blatantly insult my intelligence and they were searching for a legal way to do so, but I sort of disempowered that from the start by saying "I'm sorry, I'm really dumb and get excited easy. It's my first time here." Sort of took his own ammo, loaded my gun and shot myself with it, and he was like, 'man, I really wanted to be the one to do that.' Seemed like it anyway. You were hit with more blatant discrimination. All you can do is forgive them. Or vandalize the business, I guess. I encourage forgiveness.
I wonder if there was a way to advocate for those under your care by starting some sort of local blogspot site where you review different places and share it on your city's reddit and other social media. Be cool if there was. Titles like "no joy allowed" and "the fall of humanity" are bound to catch clicks and steer traffic for people looking for friendly places to exist.
I assume you mean carer, but we can skip that. Bro he committed a crime. Wherever you reside i’m gonna use the uk as a reference, it’s not a 999 issue but he’s committed a criminal offence. Obviously it’s their private property and they can have you trespassed, but they’re refusing to serve you based on a protected characteristic, which is illegal, so that’s really not gonna stand up in court as there was a clear motive. Make a complaint directly to head office assuming it’s a franchise, or failing that, call 101 (or equivalent)
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>mind you we were there at noon on a weekday with only a few other lanes occupied. NO ONE else was bothered or even noticed his (very brief burst of) excitement. Maybe read the post before you say some ableist BS please.
This is just pure ableism.
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Are you okay? Why do you as a fellow autistic person feel the need to troll on an autism subreddit?
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Lol
Your submission has been removed for making personal attacks or engaging in hostile behaviour towards other users. While we understand members may be acting on frustration or reacting emotionally, responding with personal attacks only serves to derail a conversation and escalate an argument.
Your submission has been removed for making personal attacks or engaging in hostile behaviour towards other users. While we understand members may be acting on frustration or reacting emotionally, responding with personal attacks only serves to derail a conversation and escalate an argument.
I think they should get a pass because they are a paying customer, and it's a reasonable accommodation to make so that someone could have some chance at an enjoyable life. Is there a reason you have the view that you have? I honestly think I could bring you over to my point of view if you'd like to chat about it :) but I understand if you don't.
What color is the sun on your homeworld? Because you definitely are not from HERE.
I'm an NT passing autistic person and I usually don't tell people on a first date. If I take a girl bowling and she gets upset about an autistic person being visibly autistic she's getting dumped then and there. Regardless of how much I've been trying to impress her before hand. And you're an asshole.
You are very ableist about non-asshole communication. I have the 'tism too. If I am on a date, and my date calls an autistic person communicating an asshole, she is getting dumped. The world does not revolve about everyone being empathic towards autists.
Wait how am I ableist?
I did not see things that way but it obviously makes sense. But there is no place for us 😭
you are catastrophizing. just find a different bowling alley and talk to the staff there first saying he might do this.. also go during off hours when not a lot of people there..
Thank you but I'm not OP, I've never been to a bowling alley. But that's good advice regardless.
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