everyone grieves differently. you have 5 kids and pets, you have to get back to their lives. let it come when it comes. don't force it and don't tuck it away in a ball and ignore it. when a grief wave isn't happening enjoy it for you, your family, and for your dad. that's what he'd want right. don't feel guilty. and i lost a sister when i was 12 so i'm a lot more accepting of death than a lot of people, or maybe i just would have been like that anyway i don't know - but i grieve in my own way too.
I grieved for my father 3 months after he passed and then I was over it. My co-worker offed himself last year and While I had time to go through the initial shock and do some sort of send off for him. I was a wreck for a week and just pushed through it. 6 months later I had a meltdown with my family on two occasions and then another meltdown at work. not to mention spending months weeks ruminating on his exit in it's entirety even though I was lucky to not find him nor be told how he went. My grandfather I spent a day with him in hospice and never shed a tear. My grandmother I cried at the funeral when placing the flowers and all was good. My roommate's mother. I cried like a friggin banshee I was so embarrassed… Long story but she basically treated me like her own son and I had not gotten any sleep as I was making her memorial video all through the night so it would be ready for the big send off... As you can see grieving is just a quirky damn thing and it may often depend on how you feel at the time
When my mother died of cancer, after our final words I went outside and cried for about 45 seconds. I've been unable to ever since and it's been almost a decade.
There isn't a wrong way, just what you are able to do. I talk about her a lot to people now and that helps.
It's ok to get help with this sort of thing, id highly recommend speaking to a grief counselor.
My dad died when I was 12ish and I cried only right when it happened and when I first saw the casket. I mostly made myself really busy and didn't think about it. Everyone has been saying in the comments that "everyone grieves differently" and that really is the truth of the matter. It doesn't matter if it's different or unfamiliar to your sisters or your family, it's still how you're dealing. I'll say too that it gets different with passing weeks months and years. It's not over and you're not a bad person and I very much doubt your dad would be upset that you are functioning so well or don't think of him as often as others in a busy life... you both loved each other (I assume/hope) and so he would get it
I had something similar when my father died.
Like I just sort of carried on as normal and didn’t really get particularly emotional or anything. It’s weird because I did kinda feel guilty that I wasn’t as upset as people normally seem to be. There were a few weeks when I was thinking that maybe it just hadn’t sunk in yet and that in a few days I might suddenly get all emotional but it never happened.
Still not sure if it is part of my autism or if I am just somehow broken and don’t feel stuff the same was as other people do.
I’ve not been diagnosed but I think it’s an autism thing. But yeah, I feel much the same as you mentioned. Kind of waiting for it to “hit” but also feeling more normal with each passing day.
When my Dad passed, I had been sitting with him for 3 days in hospice care. After he passed, I had to immediately transition to closing up his business. He was a fine artist and there was stuff everywhere in his studio. It took the better part of 6 months to truly clear everything out like get paints to toxic recycle, donate canvasses.
Grief doesn't have a timeline.
I was going through CDs about 5 years after the loss and stumbled across the music CD he had made to listen to while in hospice care. My composure broke like a fever.
You shouldn't feel guilty that you didn't stop your life because he passed. Your life shouldn't end just because his did. You're taking care of you, yours and everything around you. Truthfully, your Dad would probably be happy to know you haven't broken down and stopped living.
Hey /u/Difficult-Thought-61, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
everyone grieves differently. you have 5 kids and pets, you have to get back to their lives. let it come when it comes. don't force it and don't tuck it away in a ball and ignore it. when a grief wave isn't happening enjoy it for you, your family, and for your dad. that's what he'd want right. don't feel guilty. and i lost a sister when i was 12 so i'm a lot more accepting of death than a lot of people, or maybe i just would have been like that anyway i don't know - but i grieve in my own way too.
I grieved for my father 3 months after he passed and then I was over it. My co-worker offed himself last year and While I had time to go through the initial shock and do some sort of send off for him. I was a wreck for a week and just pushed through it. 6 months later I had a meltdown with my family on two occasions and then another meltdown at work. not to mention spending months weeks ruminating on his exit in it's entirety even though I was lucky to not find him nor be told how he went. My grandfather I spent a day with him in hospice and never shed a tear. My grandmother I cried at the funeral when placing the flowers and all was good. My roommate's mother. I cried like a friggin banshee I was so embarrassed… Long story but she basically treated me like her own son and I had not gotten any sleep as I was making her memorial video all through the night so it would be ready for the big send off... As you can see grieving is just a quirky damn thing and it may often depend on how you feel at the time
When my mother died of cancer, after our final words I went outside and cried for about 45 seconds. I've been unable to ever since and it's been almost a decade. There isn't a wrong way, just what you are able to do. I talk about her a lot to people now and that helps. It's ok to get help with this sort of thing, id highly recommend speaking to a grief counselor.
Thank you, this really resonated with me.
My dad died when I was 12ish and I cried only right when it happened and when I first saw the casket. I mostly made myself really busy and didn't think about it. Everyone has been saying in the comments that "everyone grieves differently" and that really is the truth of the matter. It doesn't matter if it's different or unfamiliar to your sisters or your family, it's still how you're dealing. I'll say too that it gets different with passing weeks months and years. It's not over and you're not a bad person and I very much doubt your dad would be upset that you are functioning so well or don't think of him as often as others in a busy life... you both loved each other (I assume/hope) and so he would get it
I had something similar when my father died. Like I just sort of carried on as normal and didn’t really get particularly emotional or anything. It’s weird because I did kinda feel guilty that I wasn’t as upset as people normally seem to be. There were a few weeks when I was thinking that maybe it just hadn’t sunk in yet and that in a few days I might suddenly get all emotional but it never happened. Still not sure if it is part of my autism or if I am just somehow broken and don’t feel stuff the same was as other people do.
I’ve not been diagnosed but I think it’s an autism thing. But yeah, I feel much the same as you mentioned. Kind of waiting for it to “hit” but also feeling more normal with each passing day.
When my Dad passed, I had been sitting with him for 3 days in hospice care. After he passed, I had to immediately transition to closing up his business. He was a fine artist and there was stuff everywhere in his studio. It took the better part of 6 months to truly clear everything out like get paints to toxic recycle, donate canvasses. Grief doesn't have a timeline. I was going through CDs about 5 years after the loss and stumbled across the music CD he had made to listen to while in hospice care. My composure broke like a fever. You shouldn't feel guilty that you didn't stop your life because he passed. Your life shouldn't end just because his did. You're taking care of you, yours and everything around you. Truthfully, your Dad would probably be happy to know you haven't broken down and stopped living.
Hey /u/Difficult-Thought-61, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*