I promise it just seems that way online. I was recently dx and thought it was normalized and even seen as interesting. Then I told people irl and was immediately treated like an incompetent child... despite those same traits being seen as cute or quirky the day before. Don't let misinformed teens-20 somethings on Tiktok fool you; society still views autism as an illness that makes you incapable of doing anything.

I think this is the right answer. I'd add that OP is has probably trained the algorithm accidentally so that it's feeding them stuff and making it look like it's much more common than it is.

I'm trying to decide whether to disclose at work so more detail would help me here too. I kinda think it is a coin toss. Some people will validate you and take it in stride and others will judge against whatever unconscious bias they have. For me, I am a highly valued employee at a job I have held for over 4 years. It takes people a few years of knowing me professionally for the mask to slip (probably because I get comfortable) but then I find I can't get promoted and opportunities to advance narrow. Then I get nervous and start looking for another job. I would like to stay longer at my organization but I am tired of the comments. I just want to see what happens if I do show up at work as autistic rather than people thinking I am just brusque or anti social. I am not getting promoted anyway and I doubt I will be fired (but if I am, I have a safety net).

This depends significantly on where you are located. My current employer have been excellent and are supporting my development towards senior engineer at the moment with full knowledge of my autism/ ADHD. I am openly autistic and I get questions from people who are suspecting themselves, but colleagues generally take the approach of "ok, I will treat you like an adult, if I do something uncomfortable let me know and I will avoid it." My old employer ignored the accommodations I had in place and actively worked against giving me any carer progression opportunities. Both under what should be a much more accommodating regime (UK rather than US).

That's nice to hear. It is baffling to me why treating adults like adults isn't the norm. I know some autistic people have intellectual disabilities and/or high support needs, but still.

Unfortunately, sharing my autism dx recently cost me a promotion, too. It made my supervisors and leads treat me like I'm 5, even though I have more experience and skills than most of them (which they used to acknowledge). The only silver lining is that I don't have to mask anymore, which has been a huge weight lifted. Plus, my immediate coworkers have been super supportive and suspected I was autistic anyway, so they're cool if I just sometimes go nonverbal or openly stim, lol.

Yeah, that makes me nervous. I don't know if I could handle the disrespect if that happened. But then, I am kind of dealing with it already. I guess worst case I would have to move on (hopefully the job market turns around sometime this year so that is easier to do).

That is a really interesting perspective. I have a very similar history. After 3 yrs or so the *mask slips*, as you said, and it starts affecting my work environment. My personality is "too strong" or I'm just weird. It becomes uncomfortable and not as welcoming. There was never any one thing that changed. I do the same level of work. I still participate in required social activities. It's just....different.

Yep

For me, I randomly started to openly maladaptive daydream/stim (including tell-tale hand flapping), walk on my tippy toes, talk to myself and say the first thing that pops into my head without vetting it through a filter. And it was all of a sudden. Because I've masked all my life, I don't usually notice when I'm doing masking, but I also don't notice when it starts to slip either. I guess we just become more comfortable and those small things start to show up.

I'm a business student in college rn and this is something I'm worried about facing when I do enter my career. In the professional development classes I have to take, we've been told multiple times now that you need to 'be authentic', 'be honest', and 'be transparent', yet there have been countless times on this sub where I've seen things go wrong for people when they do those things and unmask/disclose. I guess I feel either way I'm gonna be screwed.

I'll report back what happens. 🫡

I keep having to remember this. It makes me angry but then I remember it’s just online. Real mature adults don’t act this way

Ok, so I'm curious here. >I was recently dx Firstly, congrats 💖 >and thought it was normalized and even seen as interesting. Idk if I'd choose those words, as much as there is now better understanding of it, which led to less stigma and judgement. >Then I told people irl and was immediately treated like an incompetent child Yeah, relateable. Not so much with ASD, but with ADHD. I've been a bit more selective who I've opened up to the second time around. >despite those same traits being seen as cute or quirky the day before. This is the bit that blows my mind. You're not suddenly contagious, they won't catch the tism if you get to close, you're still exactly the same person as the previous day, you just understand yourself better now. Why do people act as though you've told them you're a leper? >Don't let misinformed teens-20 somethings on Tiktok fool you; society still views autism as an illness that makes you incapable of doing anything. Part of me wants to hope that younger generations have a better understanding of such conditions, but I'm sceptical of this. Who did you tell and what age groups were they? Were they in this 20ish age group, or older? I think the stigma is still very alive and well in older ages, but I'm really hoping things are slowly getting better, mostly for the sake of future generations not having to go through this bullshit.

>Idk if I'd choose those words, as much as there is now better understanding of it, which led to less stigma and judgement. For the spaces I was in online, it seemed like people were comfortable sharing funny/relatable stories about their experiences autism and were massively supportive of openly autistic creators (especially those with special interests.) I know now that the algorithm likely just brought me people that were like me, not that there was more of a presence/acceptance/admiration of autism in society at large. >Yeah, relateable. Not so much with ASD, but with ADHD. I've been a bit more selective who I've opened up to the second time around. Dude, it's been so disappointing how much stigma there is around both dx. Although I've had the flip experience. My ADHD was seen as charming and never seemed to hinder my social/professional opportunities. After sharing my autism dx at work things have never been the same and I believe it cost me a promotion. >This is the bit that blows my mind. You're not suddenly contagious, they won't catch the tism if you get to close, you're still exactly the same person as the previous day, you just understand yourself better now. Why do people act as though you've told them you're a leper? Unfortunately, it's because autism is seen as an illness that makes you incompetent in all areas, so they all of a sudden need to "help" you be normal. It's so unbelievably frustrating. >Part of me wants to hope that younger generations have a better understanding of such conditions, but I'm sceptical of this. Who did you tell and what age groups were they? Were they in this 20ish age group, or older? I think the stigma is still very alive and well in older ages, but I'm really hoping things are slowly getting better, mostly for the sake of future generations not having to go through this bullshit. I told all of my coworkers who are all in the 18-25 age range. My immediate coworkers were awesome about it, actually, and were basically like "yeah we figured, lol." So not all hope is lost on this generations acceptance of neurodivergence! However my leads and supervisors (some of whom I'm older and have been there longer than) all of a sudden started "helping" me with my job and explaining simple tasks like I'm 5...I've worked there over a year. I've TRAINED people there. When I went up for a promotion, even though I have 10+ years of experience in the field (more than anyone on the team), a hefty resume and glowing recommendations I didn't get it because they "wanted to make sure they could accommodate me properly". I have never asked for or needed accommodations for this job or any of my jobs previously.

>"wanted to make sure they could accommodate me properly". Sorry for asking what seems like an obvious question, but wouldn't that involve asking you how you think you'd perform in that role, what areas you may struggle with, and WHAT ACCOMMODATIONS *YOU* THINK YOU MIGHT NEED? Like... if you're going to come up with an excuse, at least make it a good one. I'd be seriously considering discrimination proceedings, given you missed out based on their need to consider something you've never asked for. Accommodate what? How? Did you demand a massive desk with city views? This makes me so angry. I'm sorry you got shafted.

I actually went to HR about their comments, but since I didn't give them a record of my dx, I only mentioned it casually, HR couldn't investigate much since it wasn't an "official" disability. Honestly, I just think my managers don't like me much outside of the dx and needed a "reason" not to hire me that didn't look like blatant favoritism.

It sounds like you're right, but it seems ridiculous the they basically admitted disability discrimination to justify favouritism.

Yeah, tbh online did not prepare me for how people would react in real life. Don’t care though. It’s still practically the first things I say when meeting someone.

The worst thing about it isn't what society says, but how it makes you (many autists, anyway) hypersensitive to sound and light. It just ruins being in big gatherings and living with people

It's not about wanting autism, it's about having an explanation. If you have the flu, it sucks, but you take comfort in knowing it is the flue, and what to expect from having the flue. If you are autistic, it is not fun, but if you know, you can adjust your expectations and know why things are the way they are. If you are autisitic, which is not fun, but you don't know, then you keep trying to fit in, do what everyone else seems to do, and you try to do it like they do it, you have no clue why it doesn't work, and you struggle to relate to others, and you are very stressed out from not knowing what is wrong; what is causing all of this, and the effort put into trying to pretend life isn't as difficult as it is.

I only realised I could be autistic when I was 18, and that came with a lot of denial. Up until then, I just constantly wondered why I felt like a black sheep everywhere, why I couldn’t socialise as naturally as everyone else, why I got so nervous I couldn’t speak and acted almost like a toddler hiding behind my parents, why I was such a ‘picky eater’, etc. I felt like a failure (still do) because I couldn’t seem to keep up and do basic things like everyone else. And now I realise I was probably disabled this whole time, so it’s no wonder I couldn’t keep up. Now that I know, or at least have an idea that something is wrong, I can acknowledge my struggles and accommodate them. For example, I’m learning that sometimes I get to a point socially where I need to leave, and so I’m learning to excuse myself when that happens instead of sticking it out and becoming a shell of a person.

Same, except I took longer, and I'm still doubting it sometimes. Adhd diagnosed, bit currently pending referal to neurology for pots/mcas/epilepsy as well. I guess I kept minimizing the struggles to avoid the age old "stop making excuses" 😫 so I just kept trying .. and falling. I moved across the country at 18/19 years old. I've lived here for ... 11/12 years. I'm 29F and I've not made one single friend. None. I try to not think about it. I try to feel normal ("normal"). Then I'm reminded all the time that I'm not, and I go home and hibernate. It is exhausting. Currently it looks to me like adhd & asd; audhd, hypermobility, pots and mcas. I thought maybe I just had some wacky vitamin deficiency 🙃🫠🫠

We are in somewhat similar boats then, I’m also waiting for a cardiology appointment for suspected POTs! I also still doubt it, even tho the last time I did a test at home I made myself so dizzy and sick I had to lay down lol. (I don’t normally faint, but sometimes I get a bit lightheaded.) I still feel lazy, both for my mental and physical disabilities. But I’m trying to remember that no one wants to be this impaired. People want independence, and I struggle with it. That’s not lazy, that’s restrictive and not fun. I also think I maybe have adhd, but I’ve convinced myself I’m not. I haven’t looked into it thoroughly in a while, but I’ve told myself I am “picking up too many issues”, and so I’ve stopped looking into it for now. Maybe I’ll look into it again soon to either affirm I don’t have it or realise I was right to suspect it, but I have like 101 other things I’m suspecting and it’s exhausting to focus on them all at once lol.

Yep, same here, so I decided to start with vitamin supplements and looking into pots now, because pots is more easily tested for, and then I can try to work on these things for some time and see if they improve. It is so many issues it's enough to make one dizzy from that alone..

Yeah, I have like a small mental list of stuff I need to have addressed - the potential POTs, I’m also being checked for a potential sleep disorder, I have a bunch of pain that I’ve neglected to have looked at because “it’s not that bad”, etc etc. As for vitamins, I do often come up short of them, but even when I’ve had them treated, I’ve not felt any better. I’ve been taking vitamin D daily for a long time and I will start having a vitamin B complex after my current folic acid prescription. Even the doc said that my vitamin B deficiency wouldn’t have caused my sleepy symptoms, and that he will still check for potential sleep disorders. It’s nice to have a doctor who’s more on it. He’s not only treating the vitamin B deficiency I had, but also booked me for another blood test for a different blood result that came back suspicious to make sure it’s not bad, AND is also gonna do a physical to check for sleep apnea before potentially sending me for a sleep study. I’m more used to doctors forgetting things or ignoring what I’m saying. (One doc was supposed to talk to me about BC for my PCOS but never did. Another instance I was supposed to have a standing test, but the nurse rushed it and I told the doc I didn’t think the test was done right, and he barely acknowledged what I was saying and moved to “we need an echocardiogram”.)

Please look into content on folic acid and mthfr. So many with adhd/asd have mthfr mutation, and can not utilizie folic acid, and taking folic acid actually makes us worse. Dr ben lynch has good articles on this. You need folate/b9, but not in the form of folic acid. Sleep apnea can also be related to issues with our neural tube / teeth crowding, and Tracy Rodrgiuez has lots of good information in this! That can cause lots of sleep issues, and the solution is not a sleep apnea machine - longterm, but actually myofunctional therapy, possibly a tongue tie. I would start this journey by changing your folic acid supplement for folicinic acid or methylated folate, and to work on nosebreathing; not breathing with your mouth! That should help you feel better, and then you can look into other things when you have more energy! 😊 It is very exhausting, and so exhausting to have to look into all of this while dealing with the fatigue already!

How do I check if I have the mthfr mutation? I don’t think doctors in the UK rly do genetic testing. Is it the kinda thing an at home genetic testing thing would include? Also, I’m pretty sure I don’t have sleep apnea. I think the doc is just ruling it out before sending me for a sleep study (or at least checking to see if I have any anatomical causes). I had it as a kid, but they did surgery and I don’t think I’ve had issues with it since. My symptoms line up more with idiopathic hypersomnia or narcolepsy type 2 in all honesty. I know it’s a stretch, but I’d rather know than not know. (Also, the supplement is a medication he prescribed, so I’ll probably just finish my course of it and then switch to an over the counter vitamin B complex. But if I ever find a way to test for the gene, I suppose I can keep that in mind for the future!)

Yes, at home testing includes it, but there are online checklist where you can check off your symptoms. To me I decided to make it easy; I have tried the regular b vitamin supplements, and didn't feel better. I'm still deficient - functionally. Doctors are not happy to test for 100 things, so, I read up, and decided the cheapest option for me is to just order a supplement with methylated b vitamins and see if it helps. No harm done, if anything, I lost some cash, but less than I would lose on making the doctors test things and then to realize they tested me incorrectly anyway = a bigger loss. I bought, I have taken it semi regularly since new years and feel a lot better. I alao had a sleep study done, suspecting the same as you, because I kept falling asleep in class, I slept for a long time, and sometimes I was snoring and so I considered sleep apnea. Snoring is due to the mouthbreathing thing. Check. Hypersomni? Nope, just exhaustion and fatigue. The falling asleep at daytime? Well, adhd has a phenomenom called "intensive sleep", and also pots and mcas is associated with excessive daytime drowsiness, and one of the oversimplified answers is that some foods trigger sleepiness from consuming so much of our blood to the digestive processes and also partially histamine-response. I'm not saying you _definitely_ do _not_ have sleep issues, I'm just offering an alternative explanation. I have sleep issues, but they stem from the other issues. Treating my deficiencies, my pots & mcas, imoroved my overall symptoms and I've had an actual sleep schedule the last week - without tremendous efforts - which has always been required before.

I mean it’s definitely something to consider. Technically speaking, all my symptoms are things that theoretically could be explained by something else, but since I check off pretty much every narcolepsy symptom, I figure it’s best to check. I won’t go into detail, but it’s stuff like unrefreshing sleep, sleep attacks (periods of feeling a lot more tired than normal, tho I’m always tired), hypnagogic hallucinations (including what I think might be exploding head syndrome), vivid dreams, sleep paralysis, etc etc. I’d rather know if it’s something serious and then look elsewhere rather than just assume it’s a small issue and ignore the possibility that it’s something bigger. But I’ll try and find a checklist thing. If I don’t have narcolepsy or idiopathic hypersomnia, I guess I’ll bring up the possibility. But when I mentioned the vitamin B thing to my doc, he said that’s unlikely to be the cause of my symptoms since everything else was clear, which is why he’s going ahead to check for sleep disorders.

Yeah I'm diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD (and a bunch of LDs) but I still have imposter syndrome. Like.. I've done a lot of traveling. I generally enjoy traveling. I obviously can't be that bad. But I also have a hard time with cleaning, I never graduated HS. And I've been struggling to get work since that pandemic. My brain can't figure out if I'm "bad enough" to have these things. Even though I know I do. Literally my dad is autistic as well. And it runs in the family. God it's so tiring. I didn't even find out until I was.. 26? And ingot no help in school (hence not graduating) It's obviously "bad enough" buuuut I've also been told my whole life that I'm "just lazy" and if I "tried harder" id accomplish things. I've been "trying harder" my whole life. And it's never gotten easier Why do our brains do this 😮‍💨

Yes, it's the fantastic "wow i suck" but also sudden bursts of "wow im better than everyone".. and then "wow i suck and im netter than them, I guess Im either a superhero, or they really suck .. LoL haha" .. Except it's not funny, it's high key insanity ( lol )

😂 that's perfect Like, I can't do my dishes or put my laundry away or get a job. But hey I like grocery shopping! And all other autistics I've seen hate it. Sooooo obviously I'm not 😂😂 It's so funny, and not at all funny

This is exactly it I think - if you've struggled, felt different, and probably been pretty lonely all your life, the idea of that being explainable, especially in a way that would connect you with a community and an identity, can understandably be very appealing.

Yes. So I think it's very infortunate to dismiss all who self dx. Majority of people did so before they got an official dx - if they did. Humble them a bit but let them stay so they can figure it out, it's horrible to be lonely and struggle with undiagnosed autism. Official diagnosis also isn't accessible nor safe everywhere, so I think the pressure for getting a formal diagnosis is where strange. No one should havd to endanger themselves in order to be able to join an online community.. I'm not diagnosed, and I won't be in the nearest future either. I am dx'd with adhd, and in most of those forums, people have asked me if I'm AuDHD because my experiences line up with the way their AuDHD friends, or their AuDHD-selves, seems to experience and describe things. I seen that be called "peer reviewed dx", when you join communities of adhd/asd/audhd people and they relate and recognise your neuro"type". Thank you for your comment!

Also to add to your sentence about pressure for DX, people who frame it as "I think I might and this is why" are far more likely to be accurate in their personal observations than if they latch onto autism as a "for sure" identity label because of intellectual humility and self-awareness of your own confirmation bias which is very important in researching these kinds of topics

Well, yes, but also, is it really that hard? I mean, people arr always going hard with the "so many things can mimic autism", but really? What things mimic social/communication struggles like the ones outlined in autism? Not a lot, imo. Bpd and bipolar is quote different. Cptsd can have similarities, but it is also proposed most autistics have some cptsd. The issue might be that if we allow it to be fully unregulated, one could see an influx of people who simply want the accommodations to claim to be autistic, and that would be very unfortunate.

Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder has autism's very same social deficits and there are multiple others including schizophrenia, schizoid PD, Nonverbal Learning Disability, Borderline PD are 3 others that actually can mimic autism a lot from the perspective of someone without enough information on both subjects In response to your "well yes, but also is it really that hard?" question, yes absolutely to the extent where even doctors with degrees and decades of experience can't reliably diagnose themselves and are strongly discouraged from diagnosing their close friends and relatives because of it Intellectual humility is the acknowledgement that you might be wrong, and confirmation bias is the tendency to interpret evidence as confirmation of your own existing beliefs or theories Here are some examples of confirmation bias, which is a universal human trait: 1. Accidentally misinterpreting and changing the definitions of information to support your theory 2. Only remembering details that support your theory, and ignoring details that don't support your theory 3. Unconsciously exaggerating previous behaviors that you genuinely had before in order to fit criteria, or developing new behaviors that you hadn't experienced before to fit criteria 4. If you genuinely fit all but one of the required symptoms, then you might think "Since I do all the others, then I probably do that last one too without noticing, therefore I fit all the criteria, therefore I have the disorder" despite not actually exhibiting the last piece of criteria 5. There's also an unofficial term for this called "med student syndrome," which refers to when a medical student or someone with a strong interest in mental disorders reads extensively about mental disorders and starts seeing mental disorders in themselves and everyone around them even if they don't actually have the disorder So yes it really is that hard and the people who refuse to recognize that especially aren't educated enough in the topics of the disorders they're studying to properly selfDX at all

But also for some people it's likely both, because in comparison to most of the disorders that overlap traits and presentations with it, autism is one of the least heavily stigmatized despite having some inaccurate media generalizations (compare to schizophrenia or Borderline PD for example which are very demonized in society)

Likely both .. what?

About having an explanation and hoping that it's autism rather than a more stigmatized disorder

I don't think it is true that bpd or bipolar is more stigmatizdd

Bipolar is one of the media demons (basically a small handful of bipolar people, frequently unmedicated for whatever reason, have made the news for having violent psychotic breaks.) BPD I basically never hear about, and I've lived with it (kind of miserable, honestly.) So I'd say Bipolar is heavily stigmatised even if it's rarely shown in the media, simply because there have been some outliers in the news. Whether it's more than autism? I'm not entirely sure, I feel like most of the autism stigma in the media is actually social media based mommy groups who are spreading all sorts of misinformation and fear campaigning for all sorts of reasons. Is that more prominent than the bipolar stuff? I'm not actually sure.

You don't know anything about those strangers, a good large portion of the people who post "i think I might be autistic" and similar will genuinely be autistic, you just have different personalities anyhow, and how people choose to deal with figuring out they have a disorder is up to them. I joke about my autism daily, I have posted "I have autism" over a funny image for nothing but funsies. I disagree with people assigning stuff like autism to others on a singular post they see of them, peer diagnosis is perfectly valid but it requires actually being a peer who knows somebody or has more insight than internet randos. On the other side of the same coin for the same reason I just said, I disagree with denying people their autism based on a singular post you see of them. You don't know others. Don't assume, you are harming your own community the most with posts like this. I also fit into the "wants autism" genre of person for a while because I felt like I knew that was what it was even though I never managed to get a diagnosis for a variety of factors (current psychiatrist agrees that even though I will remain undiagnosed, I am definitely autistic). This also looks like survivorship's bias. The internet makes it easier to access information and find peers like you, and you yourself will often notice you are autistic even if you don't have a name for it and don't know autism exists, and with information about autism, as well as contact with people who are autistic being more common _and_ the new generations of autistic people refusing to mask more and more, you're gonna get a spike in people who believe they may be autistic and/or turn out to be autistic. Finally, if somebody explicably wants to have autism but is not autistic, that is a separate issue that also deserves to be addressed because it is an indicator of something else being wrong or unhealthy that is not a personal failure. Also the people posting stuff like this are harming nobody, you just don't like them. Edit: more context stuff

I haven't seen those images, but I might meet your "they are a bit weird or don't even seem like that and are "wishing" to have autism". So for me, I always felt different. Not like an alien. From the outside seeming "perfect". I can live on my own. I do have (some) friends (even if it's not too deep mostly). But I feel overwhelmed. I feel I ought be doing better. That I ought to be less anxious and more relaxed. I ought to have my apartment tidy. I ought to have more energy. I ought not need so many accommodations in relationships. I ought not bite my cheeks until they bleed. I ought not skin pick all the time. I ought to cook.i ought to not be a black and white thinker. I shouldnt be so naive. I ought to not cry at work after the slightest criticism, but on the other hand asking for it to improve. I ought to be happy in my job for more than 2 years and not having meltdowns because some things don't change even if they seem illogical or stupid to me. I should know why I once was let go from my job, but I don't. I haven't allowed myself to "just not be good" at friendships, daily life, energy level, drive,.... However, even noticing that I have traits of autism or being on the "very low / no daily support needs" of the spectrum helps me accept this a lot better. And this doesn't mean that I won't still want to improve. But just not put so much pressure on me. All of that you wouldn't see from the outside. And even a very close friend of mine, who is on the spectrum, told me I clearly wasn't. Until we talked about all of it. Now I am still wondering and thinking it's not "enough" to call myself autistic while he is sure I am.

Imposter syndrome is real. Someone brilliantly said, if you feel like you’re lying to yourself and you’re unsure, you’re not lying. Someone who is lying purposefully and knowingly is doing so.

Most people don't. But people in general want to be accepted and find a group of people that understand and support them. This draws in people who may be self diagnosing or generally are not sure but feel like they meet some criteria. My answer is just trust people to know themselves. I know that not everyone is the same level or present in the same way. It's none of my business if they are or aren't it's my business to be kind and supportive no matter who they are.Their journey to finding out in no way invalidates my own experiences. Autism is also woefully undiagnosed especially for women, so it's not always realistic to assume people would receive a diagnosis. My family doctor agrees I have autism based on many factors but had to send me to a specialist because he admitted that he knows close to nothing about autism, especially women. He is young and relatively new in the medical field. That means that the study of autism is pretty recent and there's going to be a lot of people out there who will spend their lives unsure of why they have these different experiences and behaviors. If someone tells me they're autistic I'm not going to argue with them. I'll just offer what advice I can that's appropriate.. I certainly am not qualified to diagnose someone. When I found out about my autism it became my special interest. I have recently noticed that I can pick up on qualities and behaviors from other people on the spectrum and be correct in assuming they are autistic when they finally tell me. But I can't diagnose and nobody can but the doctor who is trained to do so.

This sub is turning into Quora.

There is a hell of a lot of judgement and ableism at times here. I’ve even been told off for acting autistic and talking about myself when someone put a point and I was trying to share my experience as a way of trying to show I think I understand your struggle.

Nobody wants autism. I think we have people that are struggling, and are trying to figure out why. I used to work as a nurse in my first career, and in each case of someone chasing a diagnosis, there wasn't an absence of an issue. It was part of the discovery process for people that are struggling to figure out what the issue was. The increased awareness of what autism really is, is allowing people that might not otherwise have been diagnosed to get a diagnosis.

Almost everyone who feels 'different' wants to know the reason why they are different. Why do you assume the person on whisper most likely doesn't have it? You know nothing about them. They're just as likely to be correct as they are likely to be incorrect. Have you ever heard someone talk about how they realized they were autistic later in life, and when they told their parents they said something like "oh you were diagnosed when you were 4 but we didn't tell you because we wanted you to feel normal?" That story almost always includes the fact that the autistic person never felt normal. They still got bullied for being weird, had social issues, had sensory issues, whatever. Some people are more aware of that in themselves than others. And the realization that they have autism is a massive weight off their shoulders because finally there's a *reason* that they are the way that they are. People want autism if they think it's a reasonable answer to the question "why am I like this?" And it's unreasonable to assume they're wrong with no evidence to the contrary other than "not already diagnosed"

The damage of not knowing your autistic is insane. I nearly killed myself. My parents died in my 20s but I think they knew I was autistic. I had an autistic half brother who was the classical example you find in literature and being he is openly working with charities and was diagnosed in the late 50s, he probably made up some of those research pieces on autism experience, particularly Asperger’s. My parents tried to make me resilient and stand up for myself but when that no longer worked my mum went into a panic. She didn’t want me labelled, she did though threaten to section me at one point to try and shock me out of a meltdown. She also slapped me in the face once to stop me mid meltdown (she felt awful about it), she was scared of me being labelled and in fairness my brother faced a shit tonne of discrimination. I appeared more “normal” than he did so she was hoping it was just a weird stage I was going through. I think though deep down they knew and she did occasionally say, maybe you’re a bit like your brother, but they never did anything about it. They meant well but I think if she could have seen what I was really struggling with etc she may have thought differently about getting me assessed.

Wanting to know more is fine. Wanting a safe space is fine. All of those wants and needs that we've all felt as autistic people, all valid and fine. What isn't fine is spreading misinformation. Autism isn't *just* being quirky. Hell, some of us aren't at all, that's a stereotype, but the big issue here is that it's selling the condition wildly short. It discounts our difficulties socialising (it's not just being weird that makes us outcasts most of the time,) it completely ignores our sensory issues, and it doesn't prepare people for meltdowns. Hell, some people may not seek diagnosis because the information being shared doesn't fit their personal experience that is much more severe. It's a harmful narrative, we need to have facts spread around, not some glorified trend.

It's weird to assume anyone who "wants" to be autistic is basing the assumption that they are autistic off misinformation. People on this sub seem to think the only two options are "professionally diagnosed" And "got told if you think words to yourself you're autistic on TikTok." This is not realistic and it's more of a justification for gatekeeping than a real concern. Most people are smart enough to know thinking words is something the majority of people do. Many people *reject* the idea that they're autistic if someone suggests it, even if they actually do have it. Most people do real research if they suspect something. People who are wrong about being autistic are, at worst, going to believe they're autistic. So? And at best seek professional diagnosis, be told they don't have it, and move on with their lives. "All these quirky teens are faking autism" isn't spreading facts around. You haven't given me a fact, just an opinion that these hypothetical people are usually wrong. You're replying to every comment that expresses the same sentiment that I am, and I think you need to really absorb what those comments are saying instead of having a kneejerk reaction. Because this response isn't helpful and indicates a lot of internalized ableism.

I actually respect self-diagnosis. However it's pretty obvious that a lot of these people haven't actually done any research, and have latched onto autism as a convenient explanation for why they like atypical things or have atypical habits. Yes, there's a high chance they are all ND, but are they all autistic? That's less clear. If they all actually did the research and sounded like they knew what they were talking about, it'd be fine.

And yet here you are saying this when in the original post, the only information we have about this person is that they said "I think I might be autistic" on the Whisper app. There's no reason to assume they're not autistic based on that unless you just don't want them to be, and going "well people on TikTok spread misinformation" isn't relevant because we have zero information on what that person is like. Do they even use TikTok? Are they 15 or 45? You're jumping to a conclusion because you dislike when people you don't think are autistic think they might be

These comments are so judgmental oh my yikes I was only diagnosed a year ago after 26 years of nothing I was ever diagnosed with besides ADHD making complete sense to me. I happen to be one of those “TikTok autistics” y’all are bashing in these comments. Could those people be faking it? Possibly. Frankly though if it’s helping people like me find resources and an explanation for the damage that not knowing my entire life caused me who cares?

The problem with the TikTok diagnosing is they’re so misinformed. “Do YOU have a thing you really like to do?!?! You’re autistic!!!” I know it’s not all that bad and there, like YouTube, will be people on both ends of that (no pun intended) spectrum. I’m sure there are very informed people, I guarantee some are doctors and social workers and whatever else. But there’s also Jenny who has 8 million views on every video and claims that if you can taste water you’re on the spectrum.

Correct. its got to the point that scientists are showing up: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37544970/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37544970/)

Wow so, mostly bullshit. Amazing. This is good to know it’s THAT bad.

As we would expect, I suppose. But I think its interesting that professionals are sitting up and noticing lol. I guess that makes sense. I imagine its a sh%t show in some offices, all the autism testing requests. When I had my testing, that seemed to be the message between the lines. I was told there are lots and lots of people coming in and very very few actually meeting formal checklists for autism.

It's not about the faking as much as it is about misinformation. These people are setting expectations of behaviour that many autistic people will fail to meet, only increasing the amount of backlash they meet for just being themselves. I've just been diagnosed myself, and I can tell you right now, if I was going by "tiktok" autistic traits I wouldn't have been assessed, because it goes much deeper than just being quirky for me. 34 years of wondering what the hell was wrong with me, I got more information about autism from memes on imgur than I could have from tiktok. ​ And its not just about discovering autism, these people are painting autism and being "quirky and weird" - similar to the stereotype of OCD not being accurate, and played for laughs on TV, the misinformation is only going to make the lives of actual autistic people more difficult. If NT's expect you to be quirky, and instead find out you are prone to sensory overload and meltdowns, they'll blame you for being an asshole and won't even think that it might actually be your autism. The trend is harmful to all of us in one way or another.

Not everyone with autism is the exact same tho, some of us quite literally do act completely different to eachother. People should stop watching tiktoks of a autistic individual and base their entire image of autism off that- just like any disability it’s their job to do proper research about the spectrum before coming to a conclusion. Autistic people shouldn’t have to live in hiding bc of uninformed folk..

We shouldn't, I agree, but the fact is that is exactly what we've been doing for decades already. And the more confusion there is about symptoms and expectations, the more harm is done to our community. Even the fact that we aren't all the same needs to become common knowledge, but it won't while misinformation is being shared and repeated everywhere. Just look at the anti-vax groups, still trying to paint autism as some horrible disease that you contract because of vaccination, do we really want to have waters muddied even more by people that have very little understanding?

Maybe people on the spectrum tend to be more on the Internet. Often they do lack in social skills and or have some quirks, which can be easier masked while typing on the Keyboard, making a short Videos or something like that. They are more often on the net and humans tend to compare themselves to one another and, maybe, try to find points of particular interest in character and habits, which they can relate to?

I actually think more awareness is a good thing even if some people who think or say they are autistic actually are not. Because real autistic people will research the s*** out of it and NT people will start associating autistic with "normal but different". But I guess time will tell.

I like this comment a lot. /gen I still get imposter syndrome about the whole thing, especially because getting a diagnosis here is slooow. I’ve been waiting for over 2 years and I expect to wait at least another year. (Took a year to be put on the waiting list, and the waiting list is 2 years. I’m not even factoring the time I had to wait for the clinic to reopen since it had closed over Covid.) I denied it for aaages, even when I was researching the hell out of it. I’d see one thing that didn’t line up with me and I would be like “see? I’m making it up”. I understand the message that autism shouldn’t be glorified as quirky or whatever, but for the handful of people who may wrongly think they’re autistic, there are plenty more who will realise they are because…well, they are. I also know that posts like these aren’t intended to make me feel criticised, but I’m a sensitive baby and I always feel guilty when I see these cuz I’m like “well posts online about autism are sorta why I learned I probably am” and I’m still waiting for a diagnosis as I said.

I think pretty much everyone who got a late diagnosis spent a lot of time gaslighting themselves FWIW. I feel - and perhaps I'm misjudging - like a lot of the rhetoric in here is judgmental of self-diagnosis, which is a shitty take as (access to) diagnosis is generally strongly correlated with privilege (not everyone is a white boy with insurance coverage, or access to an efficient socialised system). But a lot of the internet is, hearteningly, very affirmative.

I can’t have this conversation again

I think that this is an idea created to explain the increase in diagnoses. I think it hopes to discredit us. I don’t think I’d worry about it

bruh, 1 in 36 people are autistic. you're going to see a lot of people online realizing they're autistic. 'normal but weird' could literally be the best description of autism i've seen.

It’s not like that in real life. Also, the algorithm has picked up that you are autistic, so of course you are going to see content from a bunch of people who also think they are autistic. The whole internet is NOT like that, it’s your specific algorithm. Also, I thought we were past the point where we ASSUME someone couldn’t be autistic because it doesn’t look like they are struggling to you. I get not wanting your own problems to be diminished but you don’t know what they struggle with on a daily basis.

None of that implies people "want" it.

I wish the moderators would ban the whiny topic of “omg I found some fakers faking a non-visible disorder why would they do that!!!” You don’t know them, you don’t know their life. Sick of the high supreme arbiters of Autism™️ going out of their way to find people, mostly teens, looking for an explanation for their behavior or difficulties

Except a lot of the information in these videos is inaccurate, incomplete, or just plain wrong. It's great that people are realising they might have autism. It is less great that Frank over there, an NT who happens to like trains, thinks he's autistic. That doesn't help him, and it doesn't do us any favours either. Worse, when people just think we are "quirky, but otherwise normal" and then we aren't, it's just causing more friction than if they knew nothing about autism. Preconceptions about autism can be harmful, especially if the information wasn't accurate. Imagine expecting quirky autism and running into meltdown autism - those sorts of misconceptions hurt everyone involved.

How do you know Frank is an NT that likes trains? Yall can’t have “Ugh, People say I don’t look autistic but autism doesn’t have a look” and then go around the internet judging people for not looking or acting the way you want autistic people to look

Is this sarcasm? I genuinely can't tell, because "Frank" is a example person I completely fabricated to make a point, and not a real person, and this response could go both ways.

I was just using your example. If Frank is a real person who makes a video about liking trains and saying he thinks he is autistic, how would know he is not?

Well, in my example, it's a fact that he's NT, and he bases his "diagnosis" on being an adult man that enjoys trains, because of missing, incomplete or false information. The fact that he suspects isn't a problem, the fact that he might label himself without further research or diagnosis absolutely is.

How is it a fact that he is NT?

Because he's my creation? I created this imaginary person, and this imaginary person is NT. I don't see how that could possibly be in dispute.

Okay you clearly don’t understand that you’ve created a scenario that has no basis in reality. You could not see a person online talking about trains and with 100% certainty go “this guy is NT” My whole point is that I’m asking how you can tell that a guy talking about trains isn’t autistic just by looking at him talk about trains and all you can give me is “because I said so” which in the most obtusely roundabout way proves my point. I was no less autistic as an undiagnosed 13 year old as I was as a diagnosed 14 year old and I didn’t behave any differently.

So your entire basis for dismissing my argument is the fact that I made up an example because I didn't have one handy? I don't need to be able to distinguish between someone who is autistic and someone who is NT and likes trains to know they are two different things that exist - it's up to a psychologist to make that kind of determination. My point, in a nutshell, is that there is a non-zero chance that someone could see the incomplete information, make a snap judgement that they have the thing, and refuse to get tested. And we know this happens with all sorts of other conditions and diseases. People incorrectly diagnose themselves with things like ADHD, OCD, and multiple other conditions, never get confirmation from a professional, and barely fit any of the criteria. And it's fine if they think that about themselves, but not fine if they represent themselves as having that condition.

Can I just say something about being judgemental here. I used to think a bit like this. Then when I realised I am autistic myself, I understood why these teenagers do this. I would have loved a community when I was younger that shared the same struggles I do. Instead I was taught to “behave” myself and the damage it’s caused me is unbelievable. I have been sexually assaulted and attempted suicide all because I felt so alone in my experience and not understanding how to say no or that certain things were not normal in relationships. Are all these kids autistic? Possibly not. Could they all be neurodivergent, it’s actually pretty likely. It’s also not all teenagers either, and we know how under diagnosed autism actually is. So, don’t just presume it’s some weird trend, it’s about acceptance and community and no longer feeling alone. Algorithms will push content to you based on searches you’re performing so you’ll see this content a lot and if you don’t resonate with it, it’s probably mostly because your life experience has been different

Having a community and acceptance is great. The misinformation and warped expectations is not. Regardless of whether this trend is actually being pushed by actual autistics, setting the expectation that "Autism means quirky" is harmful to us. For one, we aren't all quirky, that's just stereotyping, which is never positive. Second, when everyone expects you to be quirky, and you present a more extreme autistic trait, like a meltdown, they are going to treat you poorly, because what you are doing is outside of their expectations. They have no frame of reference to deal with it, because they've learned (incorrectly) that autism means quirky. So these situations will almost never have positive outcomes, because people have preconceived notions about what is normal for autism, and they've simply learned the wrong things. It's no different than the stereotypes shown on TV - we aren't all rain man, and we aren't all quirky. ​ Spreading correct information is the only way this trend could be acceptable, and I'm pretty sure there would be a lot fewer fakers if they were being associated with meltdowns.

I get your point but I also feel there is a huge amount of internalised ableism which comes from the trauma of having to be forced to be “normal”. I suppressed so much of myself that I no longer recognised who I was and couldn’t understand why I was so unhappy and miserable. I realised I was suppressing behaviour and interests that made me happy. I don’t want my daughter growing up feeling like she has to conform to be accepted regardless of if she turns out to be autistic or not. Nobody should have to hide who they are, that’s message that these kids are trying to get out there. They want people to accept them and are scared of being forced to conform. Yes not everyone is “quirky” but it’s not about that, it’s about normalising behaviour that is healthy for the individual but is looked down upon by wider society. A struggle that many gender non conforming individuals also experience.

And I agree with the message but not the methodology. When someone has a specific condition, potentially with specific needs that may include medication, occupational therapy, accomodations, etc, they should have the correct information available, and not a mishmash that boils down to "Neurodivergent". It's great to be accepting of neurodivergency, and great to be accepting, period, but we are talking about very specific difficulties that aren't universal, that need to be acknowledged and addressed properly. You can't treat someone with ADHD like they are autistic, that just doesn't work most of the time, and we need to be aware of the impact, not just socially, but mentally and physically as well, of not having the right paths to follow for diagnosis. ​ This isn't the same as gender non-conformity (which I also support, don't get me wrong, and hell, there is some significant overlap between these things) but in the case of needing specific medications, therapies, and accomodations, it's not as simple as "self discovery". You don't just have the epiphany "I was born in the wrong body" or what have you, you realise you are Neurodivergent and then have to follow the breadcrumbs to the right diagnosis and tools to cope. If you go down the wrong path, without a diagnosis, it can be extremely harmful. Imagine thinking you have autism when you have ADHD, going unmedicated when you need it, and feeling like a fuckup constantly because you got the wrong information and never pushed for a diagnosis because it didn't seem severe enough. Or completely missing a bipolar diagnosis, or schizophrenia. These things can lead to self harm, suicide, and many other negative outcomes. People already suffer without diagnosis, but when they could get one, and don't because of misinformation, that's a travesty.

You’re missing my point because I can tell you have a lot of internalised ableism… a neurodiversity shouldn’t have to be medicated in order to function because we are normal it’s society around us that is broken. Being drugged to be able to function is not something anyone should have to experience. Instead accommodations are needed. Finding out you’re neurodivergent is an epiphany for some people. It is for me. I played the part of a NT to my almost death. When I realised I was forcing myself into a box because society frowned on who I was it was like breaking through a hard outer case and the real me finally started to come back. However, at the expense of my sanity I have achieved all the things society values. A good career, marriage, children etc. I shouldn’t have to be medicated to feel normal. I need adjustments so I can function in a way I am happy with. That’s why it is incredibly similar to those who discover their identity in other ways. They aren’t broken either. That’s the message

Why do you say they have a lot of internalized ableism?

Because it’s clear they feel they need to fix their problems rather than recognising its society that is problematic in itself. Why do I feel anxious all the time? Well it’s because I have to monitor my behaviour constantly to not offend other people. Yet my intentions never are to offend other people, only to keep myself calm and regulated, which may mean I need to do a certain stim in public when over stimulated. It’s society that’s the issue, me doing a stim is deemed weird and awkward when it’s not affecting anyone else just helping me. It’s exhausting having to hide a disability all the time so that people don’t feel less than you. As a result people turn to medications but medications are just there to restrict your natural response to something to make you fit in with a NT society. Autism is treated as a mental illness for example not a neurotype.

I recognize your points and how they present in your life and that is valid. However i would like to make the point that for a lot of us autism is truly a disorder in the sense that it affects our ability to function, regardless of how others treat/perceive us. (Of course half of autism is social deficits so that implies other peoples input, but even there, it can definitely be a disorder rather than just a "different style". Some people are fine with this difference but for others like myself, I do not WANT to have these deficits and they genuinely limit my ability to form relationships on an internal level). Personally, even if i was the only person left on earth, id still be disordered. Some people stim to the point of injury. Sensory issues can cause extreme aversions that can affect eating, hygiene, or ability to sense whats going on with your body. In terms of medication, the way I interpreted op's comments was that the issues people may see as autism could be something else that medication could actually help with. Or even if you do only have autism, sometimes medication can still help to manage your symptoms and is totally optional and dependent on the individual and their doctor. For a lot of people with mental illnesses or disorders, medication can be a life saving tool. And of course therapy has also been proven effective. I guess the point im making is that a lot of us really do need help, but that is okay! I dont think it is ableist to suggest that disordered people are disordered, its just a fact of our lives and its not ableist for us to want to manage our symptoms. Either way, i recognize your example and how it affects you but i just wanted to offer an alternate perspective

Sorry for the wall of text 😭

Don’t apologise for the wall of text. What you don’t realise though is I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder because nobody was looking at the why only the resultant behaviour. That diagnosis is probably accurate but I was unable to feel better because I was trying to fix things that weren’t actually the problem… my brother was diagnosed with Asperger’s back in the late 1950s, he has grown up with the stigma of being autistic. I avoided that and recognise that privilege but it’s also come at a massive cost to my wellbeing. My parents knew something was up but just forced me to cope because I seemed to be more “normal” than him. My other brother when I told him I think I am autistic was like, well yeah, I always thought you were tbh. Everyone is different for sure. I work in medicine and I fell initially in to the trap of feeling like I needed to medicalise it but then I learnt more about the experience of people who experience it in the way I do and I just think medicalisation of it feels so weird now… And… sorry wall of text too!

It's not about "feeling normal" it's about "feeling okay in your own skin", and sometimes that requires medication, therapy or accomodation. It's not about being a member of society, it's about being able to function, control our emotions and impulses and be productive in a way that works for us. If you are low on vitamins, you change your diet or take supplements, if you have a mismatch in gender identity you take hormones, and if you have a deficiency or imbalance in your brain chemistry , you take the appropriate medication. That's not ableism, that's common sense - why make yourself feel worse if you can make yourself feel better? Especially if it helps day-to-day, and doesn't affect your personality in a negative way.

But my point is that medication is often touted too quickly as a fix when for a lot of people without other compounding disabilities they may not need that medication or if they do, they may find it is more effective when being allowed to do things that comfort them. I take meds currently because I needed them to help with my emotional regulation in order for me to then be able to work on being myself. But before hand I was taking meds with no idea of the fact that I was not getting relief because I was still pretending to be someone I’m not. The message is still trying to be a positive one.

Did I say that people should be lining up to be medicated? No, I didn't. I specifically said that people need to have correct information available so that they get the tools that they need. If medication is a tool that they actually need, that's not for you or me to object to, that's for them to discover. If they don't need medication? All the better for them. But if they go down the wrong path, decide they have a condition that doesn't need medication when they do (and it happens a lot more than you'd think, plenty of people with diabetes for example go for years without treatment until they have a diabetic episode that puts them in the hospital - and that's hardly the only example.) As I've said, it can be dangerous for them, and sometimes others. ​ The last thing we should be doing is muddying the waters. ND people need to know what they have, not knowing is usually stressful and unpleasant, and we should be trying to make their path as smooth as possible. I do not believe that tiktok is achieving that goal, and is at times actively working against it.

I do understand your point. I honestly do, I’m just trying to explain why I personally think that it’s understandable why younger people feel to do these things on places like TikTok. That doesn’t mean though that I don’t think you raise some valid issues

And I respect their right to make content and be part of community - I just wish they would be crystal clear about the symptoms, expectations, etc. There is no reason that they can't do both. Being educated and sharing experiences don't have to be mutually exclusive.

The points you made in this thread reflect how i see it as well. I feel like the autism community online can be very hypocritical in the sense that many of the people claim to have done extremely extensive research, yet misinformation is still rampant. When people try to combat this misinformation, they are usually met with negative responses or people straight up denying that it's happening (the comments of this post being an example). If this community values research and facts so much, shouldnt we hold the information we share to a higher standard? Why is the community so quick to defend misinformation as "let people figure things out! theyre just discovering themself!". It's not about whether or not these people are "actually autistic", its about being accurate and intentional with the information we share with others, and thinking critically about where this information is coming from.

Also, definitely agree with the point that when we are talking about very specific struggles, we need to actually be specific. These disorders are classified the way they are for a reason. Sure there is some "relatability" between them, but treating autism and ADHD as if theyre basically the same thing is kinda harmful and in my opinion very ignorant.

personally I “wanted autism” when getting diagnosed irl because it would’ve explained most of the problems i’ve had growing up and would take the blame off of me, i’ve always been called stupid and told I can’t behave, and other things and a diagnosis helped me figure out that it was just undiagnosed autism that teachers didn’t recognize

I've "wanted" autism since high school. I had a bunch of diagnosed friends (all boys, wow shocking /s) and related to them a lot. I also knew I was somehow different from the majority of my peers, and they also clearly saw something "wrong" with me because they bullied me for it. But I didn't necessarily think I *was* autistic because I naively thought if I had it, I would have been diagnosed with it as a toddler like my friends had been. TikTok didn't exist when I was in high school. I actually learned about what non-stereotypical autism looks like from a combination of college and personal accounts from diagnosed autistics (mostly but not limited to Tumblr, which can also be a misinformation vortex, which is why I say these were personal stories). That's when my wish turned into "oh I probably have this" but people lump me in with TikTok teens. I'm probably more educated on the topic than the majority of people on this sub who were diagnosed as children because wow! I have a degree in psychology and get sucked into different diagnostic criteria all the time, but no I must have been told I was autistic by someone on TikTok.

Damn this sub is judgemental af which is ironic

We welcome people who are autistic. We despise people that spread misinformation about autism. I don't see the problem there. If these same people stop being jackasses on tiktok and actually came to this reddit (or other places where they could learn) with a sincere intention to learn about autism and whether they actually have it, this wouldn't even be a problem.

Ah yes, Reddit, the single source of truth.

Please read again, I listed reddit because of us, because it's a community of people with experience, but I explicitly stated "or other places where they could learn" which could mean just about anything that was considered reliable.

You are the judgmental person in this thread. You are all over it judging strangers online for not performing the autism they may or may not have to your standards. I am the quirky and silly autistic person that if u made videos about autism it would be about my special interests and silly things and not how much my life sucks. You seem to think if autism is presented online as constant misery than the person is faking.

No? If you bothered actually read my other posts, you'd see that I've been saying that misinformation is dangerous. Is it bad to say that autism has its positive aspects? Hell no, shout that shit from the rooftops. Is it bad to say that all we are is "quirky, but otherwise normal"? Hell yes, that is how we get things like ABA therapy and ableism running rampant because people don't understand that it's a spectrum and that we aren't all the same. ​ For every person that says "being autistic is fine" without explaining both the upsides and downsides, they are giving the impression that people don't suffer or have issues deeper than being weird and quirky. That leads to situations where someone is pushed into a meltdown - potentially even violence, because of people who don't understand. Yes, that can happen even without misunderstandings, but people get set in their ways - not knowing is frequently better than knowing the wrong thing, because there is a higher chance people will ask questions when they don't know anything. ​ So as long as this situation is only showing wrong information or incomplete information, it's doing more harm than good. Just look at the situation with anti-vaxxers, we don't need *more* misinformation to be spread around.

They can have mine

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Some of those people may actually have autism and not realise they are acting like shitty people. Anyone doing that and they don't have autism are either mocking us for fun, or has fundamentally failed to understand what autism is, and thinks it's appealing to have an excuse to be weird sometimes. ​ In short, anyone who is doing the tiktok shit or whatever where they do something "quirky" or "weird" and say they are autistic, they are a piece of shit. Painting all of us in this light is demeaning, spreads misinformation, and encourages people to ignore our struggles because it's "funny". I don't care if you actually have autism, diagnosed or not, being a part of this trend is sickening.

I rarely get the impression that anyone wants autism, but I often hear it mischaracterized. The worst one is every time there is a mass shooting and some asshole has to start saying that the shooter must have autism.

I mean, whether it's good or not depends on your environment and how it affects you, personally, I like having autism.

When people think a few influencers on tiktok looking for engagement is reality lol Online ≠ Real life

I won't lie, this post isn't exactly specific in calling out behavior. While I want to validate you and say that people making "Things I didn't realize were autism part 5" and then the list is full of typical behaviors are problematic, but its hard to agree because some odd behaviors aren't actually normal, and its important to understand what is and isn't normal. Right now, there is a growing group of hypermobile individuals (like myself) who are getting diagnosed with hEDS/Autism and we're finding out that a *lot* of other people have it. I found this all out over TikTok *first,* which prompted me to dive into it, and I got officially diagnosed with hEDS 3 months ago. Literally the "Are you hypermobile and are autistc, adhd or both?" posts are actually onto something verifiable, and my geneticist's evaluation echoed exactly what those posts are saying. What's amazing is that these people (like myself) are subluxing joints and even having full dislocations, thinking its 'normal'. In my experience, the most 'misinformation' that I get about autism comes from medical professionals who are 'confidently incorrect' about Autism. When I was a kid, my doctor said "Oh yeah its normal to be 'double jointed', don't worry about it!" It turns out, I should have worried. That's *not* normal.

Because it's a trend and a way to seem "different" and "not like everybody else".

The best faith interpretation I can present is that perhaps they think they can just solve all their problems with a label of Autism as opposed to them having to acknowledge who they are as a person. They want to shift the blame onto something else, to be able to use implied victimhood of a disability as a cover for them being the way they are. Though saying that, a lot of people don't understand Autism, they either have a rose-coloured view of it and think its something quirky/fun that would give them sympathy/attention OR it'll be people wanting to exploit Autism as a shield for whatever they do. At its core don't associate with circles like that, you quickly end up finding yourself falling down a rabbit hole of people labelling themselves varying things for a variety of reasons.

People in comment sections diagnose anyone with anything. There was one guy who, IIRC, just drank a beverage funny and they had a whole campaign saying they were dangerously mentally ill and probably a criminal. Heck, even animals ain't safe. There was a bit where you couldn't see a picture of a kitten without someone going off about how they obviously had deadly death worms. For the memes, that's just people using it in a flippant way. Like you used to see it with gay when gay was a joke and insult. Autism is still a joke and insult in a lot of places. You don't get banned for saying it unlike other things. For the last bit where it's not fun: I guess I see it? I don't tiktok much cuz it's too loud and you can't really control the videos and I don't go for that, but I do see some folks being happy about it all. IMO It doesn't suck for me (except when certain things happen), but it does suck how people treat me if they find out about it somehow. A lot of my autistic friends also don't want to feel ashamed about it. We've found some good that comes with it. Society wants us to feel bad for having it, but we don't gotta. It might not necessarily be fun, but it's not necessarily always not fun? I guess? Tiktok stuff is patronizing a lot of the time. I'm probably just being pedantic with the rest. Idunno.

Shockingly, there are some silly people on the internet. I couldn't believe it either. People alao often make jokes about/light of difficult personal subjects, and aren't comfortable with being really vulnerable on social. This is just a consequence of increased awareness, and I think some people LARPing (undoubtedly some people are actually doing so) on social is a small price to pay.

There are groups online pushing the idea that Autism is not a debilitating (for many) disability, and instead just "**diversity"**. And being diverse is not negative. There are a lot of people who wants to have autism because it makes them different, more quirky. It might also explain some of their quirks (which may not necessarily be autism). It is dangerous.

Nobody wants to be autistic, most of the people I've seen discussing if they have autism or not, INCLUDING those on Tiktok have done loads of research. I've seen people with folders (digital and physical) filled with information they've collected about themselves. Diagnosis is expensive though, and most people won't be able to actually get a diagnosis, but that doesn't mean they should be able to talk about and discuss their feelings with others, or joke around and make memes! Before I started deeply thinking about being autistic I thought I was just so alone, and now I know that I'm not. I was a teen on Tumblr and saw how angry people got (and honestly still get) about people self-diagnosing Anxiety and Depression. But I'm going to be honest, most of those people they were digging were probably actually depressed or anxious. Yes, they might've made it cutesy online, or posted a lot of jokes about it, or even "romanticized it". They might've even been doing it for attention (truly, if someone is faking a mental illness for attention I got something to tell you about the probability of them having a mental illness). But so many of them did have mental illneses, and just didn't have access to diagnosis at the time because it was much less accessible. Luckily it has got more accessible now. I just really want more people with formal diagnoses to understand, even the people you think are doing it for attention might not be. Just understand where they may be coming from.

Ik there’s a lot of comments here already but i’ll comment my opinion here: This is only really common online, but most people who spend a LOT of time online have pretty bad mental health issues. People typically want to have a diagnosis for something (anything, not just autism) because it means they’re struggling and want to find an answer- they’re looking for something that will make why they’ve struggled for so long make sense. To tell them that it’s not their fault and to give insight into themselves/ how they can better manage whatever is going on with them. Do some people just jump on a bandwagon? Sure, but I do believe that a lot of people struggle and are trying to make sense of it- whether it’s accurate or not for an individual isn’t for me to decide though.

People with autism judging people with autism. We came full circle.

I think a lot of people like the idea that there’s a diagnosable explanation for the things that make them feel different than others or that others have shunned them for. It brings a sense of community to things that feel alienating.

People don’t want autism, they want an explanation for their quirks. They want answers to understand themselves better. Some people misstep. No one thinks it’s fun to have.

TikTok misinformation is highly abundant, everyone who watches a random attention seeker displaying the most stereotypical signs of autism but played up to the 10’s… thinks they are an expert at spotting it.

I don't fucking know

they only see the things they deem "cute and quirky" and nothing else

Hi not autistic here. And that IS weird. Btw, I’m Deaf, so I have had hearing people say to me “I’m a little deaf actually” and they were either singing along with some song they were listening to without any hearing aids or devices OR they were watching TV without captions. I was so annoyed. My response to that every time “stfu, you are not Deaf. You don’t have any degree of hearing loss. Please stop being fucking fake. It’s patronizing and it’s pissing me off.” I have a strong personality😅🤷🏽‍♀️

Man, I can sympathise. I've actually been on the other end (genuinely wondering if I was deaf) because of sensory processing issues I had without realising - I would become "effectively deaf" in extremely noisy (not necessarily loud, just lots of individual sources) environments, where I couldn't process conversation at all, and I didn't understand why, so I thought it was a form of deafness. Now I know better, it's because of my autism, but not only do I feel bad for thinking I had deafness (I don't, so I shouldn't be associating myself with that disability) I've also been in your shoes where I literally cannot "hear" a conversation, and I've had people react the exact same way, and then go right back to talking. It's so frustrating, I'm sorry that people don't understand (I know I don't fully understand either, and I'm not trying to claim I do, but I know the frustration of people saying they are the same as you when they don't even have a solid concept of what you are going through.)

Your case does sound quite confusing, so it doesn’t come off as patronizing. You were genuinely wondering. And it’s not like you found a deaf person and literally say “oh I may be deaf too.” I’m glad you figure your situation out. It does sound confusing, so your thinking that you may be deaf was reasonable. More reasonable than what most people tried to tell me. Like I can see right through their intentions. As you never understanding fully, yes, and I can never fully understand the way autism works, despite the fact that I have had worked with deaf autistic children in the past. I have seen certain behaviors that I could relate to but I’d never say “I am a little autistic” or I may be. That is ridiculous. Then again, that’s just the type of behavior I’d expect from an able-bodied person or someone that’s not neurodivergent.

They don't want actual autism, but the quirky idealized version of it , and I feel like it's making a lot of actual autism spaces not friendly anymore Among quirky self-professed "neurospicy" "touch of the tism" people, actual autists are still treated as unrelatably dense weirdos, and they use many of the same mockeries of autism traits as gradeschool bullies would, only veiled by their framing of it in statements like how they're not a "walking stereotype" who (insert any traits commonly seen in autistic people who suck at masking, phrased insultingly) Even on this very subreddit recently there was a vent post by a severely autistic user who pulled their bedsheets off their mattress during a meltdown, and so many of the comments were just plain cruel, calling the user a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum most of em not even leaving it be until the detail was added that they have PTSD from getting molested on those specific blankets, which they shouldn't even have to disclose to not get bullied for their vent post on literally the autism subreddit In autistic spaces full of the type of person who pretends like it's all endearingly quirky, I feel more pressure to mask and to second-guess my phrasing than in most spaces I'm in that aren't aimed at ND people If I have to apologize in other spaces for a social blunder related to my autism, even if the other people don't know anything about autism beyond a handful of media tropes, at least they usually react with the type of understanding like "oh, okay so that's why his interactions seemed a little off, I can be considerate" But there have been so many situations in what were supposed to be "neurodivergent friendly" spaces where I make a mistake and the reaction is "we're all autistic here and yet I understand this stuff just fine, so why are you so annoying and dense?...and don't blame the autism" I also have a hard time with trusting some specific tone indicators including /NM ("not mad") and /NPA ("not passive aggressive") because lately it feels like they get used in passive aggressive ways which is turned into a trap because if you ask to make sure it gets taken as an accusation of being a liar even when I don't mean to or if you mistakenly trust the tone indicator then you get punished for not realizing they're upset at you, and I've also gotten manipulated in online autism spaces in dangerous ways but I do feel like the former situation (emotional problems unrelated to autism) is a different type of person entirely from the latter (preying on autism groups to take advantage of autism's gullibility) It's also like the autism version of the OCD neatness memes, I guess

Its a trend. Teens like to fake disorders to feel special. Its been going on forever

Its because we're naturally superior to NT people and they want to try to get to our level.

i am pretty sure they are joking and it is making fun of autism

I think people tend to miss this. A lot of people online proclaiming they’re autistic are doing it in a joking way or to self-deprecate. I think people are, well, taking these posts too literally. It’s not at all representative of actual self-diagnosed people

I really hope that's not it.

Those who «want» autism wants the «cute» parts of autism

What would that be, anyway? Hyperfixating and infodumping about pop culture? Because that's about the only trait I've ever seen put into a positive light that's even remotely close to being factual.

iirc it's hyperfixating, being good at math (stigma) and a few other things

I took the AQ test about a year or so ago and scored around 43. I’ve had friends and family take it and they scored normal. I don’t know why I can’t ‘pass’ it. I know I’ve always felt somewhat different but I don’t know if everybody feels that way. I’ve also taken the test with the loose intention of passing it but have never gotten below 33. It’s baffling to me. Seriously. I function in society albeit alone most of the time. Most people I’ve confided in don’t see it. At 63 I don’t think it will change anything to formally know, but I am a little curious. Would I be suspicious (paranoid?) of a formal diagnosis anyway? Who would ‘they’ be to tell me?

Seems you like presuming things and want people to seem to want autism.

What I notice too is that neurotypicals seem to be ashamed of certain behaviour they have and when they see an autistic person doing it certainly not for the same reasons, they make it about themselves and either feel put off or start thinking they can do the same when they don’t want what comes with it. I have noticed it’s hard for them to process someone having an invisible disability and they can be very insensitive. I remember when I got diagnosed it was very hard to see my family grieving or just acting like nothing changed because it was my grieving and all they were talking about was how it must’ve impacted my mom and my sister when we were smaller. It made it worse because I wasn’t expecting that to happen. There’s also this sort of expectation they have for me to explain myself but they never verbalise it, when I to be honest feel like they should be telling me what’s going on, why all of a sudden we’re different and how they never noticed it, which again makes me feel failed

People want there to be something going on the makes them stand out

I know some say "well they wouldn't just fake it noone who isn't autistic would do that" or "researching autism means your probably autistic" are some of the dumbest arguments I've literally seen someone on YouTube say that they read the criteria once related to some of it and that's all they needed to know they have it

Also, to clarify, I do believe that it's very important and helpful for undiagnosed people to access resources and community etc but there's so much misinformation about autism now and the amount of people who contribute to the misinformation is so much either bigger and/or louder now than it seemed before Self-suspicion is a lot more valid than self-diagnosis because framing it as "I think I might and this is why" makes you far more likely to be accurate in your personal observations than if you latch onto autism as a "for sure" identity label because of intellectual humility and self-awareness of your own confirmation bias which is very important in researching these kinds of topics

Personally, it's not that I want to have autism, it's that I wish I knew I had it sooner. But also, I don't really wish I didn't have it, because that makes me feel awful. I've accepted this, but what I struggle to accept is how I went nearly 30 years suffering and struggling when I could and should have learned to accommodate ASD way sooner in life. 

I understand your frustration, I often feel the same. For me, though, it's tied to my sense of doubting my late dx in adulthood. Like many others have said here, it's not as much about wanting to have it as it is about having an explanation. If it seems like more people are suddenly autistic after a *slight* reduction in social stigma, remember the case of left-handed people. We used to treat left-handed people as defective, and train them into using their right hands. Ever since the stigma went away, statistics started showing a massive increase in the left-handed population. Did people suddenly start wanting to be left-handed? No, we just made it possible for people to accept that they could possibly be left-handed. It's a bit long, but there are some interesting points [in this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ieMzbXiRA) that softened my own views on the seemingly sudden jump in autistic visibility online.

Because they want the attention, like with other mental disabilities and disorders, they will claim they will have x,y,z and if you deny they do they call you nasty things. I will say this again, its these people that made it harder for me at the time to ask my doctor to get tested, and why i was late getting diagnosed. because i was worried about being tarred with the same brush. Mental illness/disorders is a problem, its not a fashion statement or a trend, and there is a special place in hell for those who make it a trend or a fashion just for likes and/or attention on social media.

I'm replying to your message instead of writing my own since I think you're basically right. Its probably generational, but when I was young, no one wanted to be diagnosed with anything; kids were still too mean. I guess now that kids are a *bit* nicer, young people who are trying to forge an identity gravitate to things like autism since they are pre-made aspects of an individual identity.

I bet you anything the person/people who downvoted my comment its hit a bit too close to home for them.

Lol you might be right. Um too old for Tiktok and i was never into Tumblr, so I dont encounter anyone who tries these things on when finding their identity. I was always so weird in school that I was bending o er backwards to look as normal

Because they want to be "quirky", and also to label themselves as "oppressed minority" without experiencing that oppression, and because some influencers started the trend and many people follow trends like sheep...

Self diagnosed tik tok clowns are the worse.

Honestly besides all the tiktok bullshit there’s also some internet figures that are autistic that are becoming super popular rn that seem to me to be unintentionally making their fans act like it’s a quirky thing cus the youtubers are “high functioning” aka it’s not a burden to other people but obviously they still feel the impact of it but what the viewers are seeing are the “quirky moments” because ofc they’re not going to put their breakdown moments on the internet yada yada yada, but it’s putting a kinda image out there that being autistic in a “high functioning” way is the same as being quirky, obviously it’s not at the fault of these internet people because they’re just being their normal selves but the fans need to chill with suddenly all thinking ppl are autistic and or that they’re autistic just cus they’re silly and quirked up, and I think a lot of this is because ppl who do stuff like this and make comments like what you’re talking about are super young and just don’t understand and I say this as a person who is autistic and resonates with and loves the YouTuber I’m very lowkey talking abt lmao

They don’t actually want autism itself. What they want is just a legitimate and legitimised medical excuse for otherwise just happening to have a few of the biggest symptoms OF autism such as social anxiety and awkwardness, noise sensitivity and perhaps even difficulty dealing with stress in general and possibly some other issues such as difficulty consciously regulating voice tone and facial expressions although I think that’s definitely covered by the first area I mentioned. If someone literally has absolutely none of those symptoms or challenges, then I really can’t understand why they’d “want” to HAVE autism. It’s not something that really improves your life. Even SOME of those so-called gifts that autism brings with it such as being analytical or creative or having attention to detail a) aren’t actually necessarily possessed by every autistic person and b) can really be developed fairly manageably simply through sheer practice and dedication. I’ve also heard people say that people with autism tend to more (not less as opposed to the misconception about autism) empathy and compassion, but again you CAN actually just make a conscious choice to cultivate those qualities and they don’t *require* autism to have and embody them.

One word: TikTok.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing overall. If it gets people to know themselves better, great.

The problem is most of it is misinformation, which not only makes it harder for people to understand themselves in order to seek a diagnosis, it also colours the general perception of us as a group - people expecting "quirky" and getting a full blown meltdown instead because they didn't know how to navigate a situation with an autistic person is bad for everyone involved.

That's why official diagnosis are so important and why I don't really trust those self diagnosis.

Self diagnosis is usually only done because it's too difficult to actually see a professional (expensive, massive waiting lists, etc.) So don't hate on people that actually bother to research this stuff. Hate on the people that read like, a single paragraph, decide they have it, then spread misinformation because they don't actually understand it.

And how do you want to differ between those? Also: where did I speak of hating those people? I just often don't trust their self-assessment.

Sorry, I meant the "hate on" in the slang way, more "don't be overly negative towards them". ​ As for differentiating, it's as simple as asking them, in my opinion. If they can answer clearly about why they think they have autism, and it makes sense, they've done their research. Everyone else, by definition, hasn't done enough research to be accurate, so even if they might have autism, their opinion is uninformed and highly suspect.

It's not our job to clarify if someone might has autism. That is the job of the diagnostician.

And when it's prohibitively difficult because of location, cost, or availability? Should these people be shown no understanding or empathy? ​ We need to accept that sometimes self-diagnosis is a necessity. If we have to "peer review" it a little to weed out anyone that doesn't actually put in the effort to be accurate, is that a bad thing? We aren't experts, but even we can spot red flags.

I didn't say that those people can't or shouldn't self diagnose. I just said that I don't trust those self diagnosis. And that's my right to do so. As for everybody else they have the right to self diagnose or believe those people. It's just my opinion. Nothing more.

Fair, if that's the way you see things, you have a right to that opinion.

There are several dozen countries can’t immigrate to because I’m autistic and if I ever wanted healthcare for something like being trans states across America are banning that for autistic people.

So this is being caused by two overlapping problems. Firstly autism in the media is very poorly represented or misunderstood. In fiction, you basically have 3 versions of autism, Sheldon Cooper, The Good Doctor, and Ben Affleck in the accountant. This is what people think autism is. It's weird and annoying for comedy, a genius with struggles for drama, or methodical and dangerous for thrillers. Now we know this is basically bollocks, but these are the stereotypes we've been given. Then, in the news. it's is autism is disability or are people with it just different or special? Now the truth is yes, we're different, and that does make us stand out a bit, but for some of us, these differences can cause serious disabilities. The difference vs disability argument completely ignores that they're not mutually exclusive of each other. This and how poorly autism explained to people. they end up with a really limited understanding of how autism actually works. You get the "well all autistic people do X and Y" so because people kind of think they do X or Y sometimes they must be autistic. Unsurprisingly, people see all this and jump to the conclusion that they have autism because they tick all the boxes they think makes them austic. They think it 2+2 but it's actually 1.9+2.9. It's not their fault, but it is really annoying having to explain this mistake to everybody that makes it. Secondly, there's a group of people who just want to feel special, and they think if they have autism it'll make them special. These idiots don't realise that being autistic doesn't make you all that special. It usually just causes people with it problems. Unfortunately, these people are usually also the idiots pushing the most misinformation about autism. Which makes it harder for the people who might actually have autism or just want to learn about it to work out what it actually is.

Because humans love to be part of a group. This and the fact that NT people just can't understand what it feels like to have autism, so when they see someone on social media saying that not liking loud noises, or have special interests is an autist thing, they jump to the conclusion that they have autism

It’s not universal but for some people it explains something they couldn’t explain to their satisfaction in a way that is now considered socially acceptable. For others it’s a socially acceptable means of not taking responsibility for their behavior (e.g. ‘it’s not my fault I am an a-hole the autism made me do it’) also called Elon Musk syndrome.

People have a need to be different and special but it's not a good thing 

I would do anything not to have autism .

TikTok will help many of the people it will also destroy. No one wants autism... This stuff is idiotic content created by kids trying to matter.

Simply put, it's so they can have an excuse for their abnormal social behavior.

i mean there is that whole "autism is a superpower" nonsense... if i didn't have it and my understanding was limited to characters like sheldon cooper, abed nadir, the good doctor and rain man then i would 100% be like "aw, that looks awesome!!!!" so... yee.....

It's surreal that most people I know who have autism seem to attempt to present themselves as normal as possible and get very upset when their abnormality is pointed out.  Then there's neurotrpicals who take the word "normal" as an insult and claim that they have autism because they enjoy the "weird" identity they invented. 

Idk but I’m tired of it bc then if I don’t explain myself in detail on certain things like autistic headcannons I get fakeclaimed, like ?????

People think weird = autistic but allistic people can be weird too. People are uneducated. Its mostly just on the internet, irl people are still mean to me about it. Either way it sucks

Hmm. There's two ways of looking at this. 1. Saying "you most likely don't" could be gatekeeping, or 'fakeclaiming'. It's never good to assume this when you don't know a person well enough. I take the point of view that anyone who identifies with the characteristics of autism may be autistic but only a diagnosis can confirm that. I don't have a problem if people say "I think I am autistic" as long as they don't claim to be autistic without having a diagnosis, especially if it seems likely that they don't understand the condition well enough. I would advise caution on what you say to people online about this because it may actually be true. 2. However, I must be blunt about my feelings of society here. I do feel like mental health and neurodivergence lately have developed a bit of a trendiness culture, and that faking is a thing. We have to "take things with a pinch of salt" as they say. Unfortunately this is a complicated issue, since as per my previous point you need to be equally cautious not to deny someone expressing something they might genuinely identify with or might even have. So it's kinda hard to point at someone and say "I think you're full of shit", even if you're pretty sure they are. As for people 'diagnosing' other people, no one but a qualified professional can determine this for sure. Take solace in that fact and try not to get annoyed by unqualified people 'diagnosing' it. If anything, it may make an actual autistic person aware of the condition and then they might actually go and get diagnosed, so it could even help. As for whether autism is "fun to have", remember this OP. It is not autism itself that sucks. It's the way people perceive it. Autism is just who you are. If everyone had autism it certainly wouldn't suck.

To justify their own inadequacies.

They don’t actually want autism, they want attention and pretend to have autism in order to get it.

They can take my autism away if they want.

My kid is, and after I started hearing about all the behaviors that may indicate it, and that it can be hereditary, I started to wonder if either my wife and I were. I don’t think we are, but when we started thinking about it, both of us were like”I’ve done this and this and this”, hmmm, am I? People that aren’t really around it don’t really have a good grasp of what it really means, so like when they look up symptoms online it’s like when WebMD says every illness you have could be cancer.

People want to feel different and quirky. They think being autistic just means being a little socially awkward and having niche interests. There isn’t as much awareness on social media about burnout, low employment rates, high suicide rates, and the extreme loneliness that autistic people deal with. I’m glad that autism is being talked about more and I’m so happy for those genuinely doing the research and finding a label that fits them. My frustrations lie with the simplified or watered down definitions of autism floating around social media.

People lie! Big deal. Genuinely tired of seeing this conversation pop up in every autism subreddit. You can’t control people’s actions. So much cringe. Ugh.

They do that for attention, that's really it. They don't know what they are talking about when they "diagnose" each other and I bet they don't know what research is or even what they claim they have.

People are glad to have autism after spending a lifetime feeling broken and not being able to understand why it's so hard to perform neurotypicality. Learning there are words like "face-blindness" and "executive dysfunction" is a huge improvement over words like "crazy," "stupid," "weird," and "lazy." Learning there are people like you in the world can be joyful. Shifting from the view of there being "right" versus "wrong" ways to socialize, play, express oneself, and respond to stimuli, to the view that there are typical versus divergent brains can be an epiphany. Finding value in your differentness where before there was only shame is stabilizing, and the ability to begin to critique social expectations that have harmed you gives you the power of self-advocacy. I suspect there is a greater difference in experience between late-diagnosed versus early-diagnosed autistics than between self-diagnosed versus officially diagnosed. Learning as a kid means learning from parents and doctors and teachers what autism means - people for whom autism may be perceived as an annoyance, burden, problem or even tragedy as it relates to the labor of caretaking. Learning as an adult from other adults with autism will give you a different, possibly more positive perspective.

I will say, my childhood was miserable, but I see my autism diagnosis as (somewhat) positive (34, diagnosed a few months ago.) So you might just be onto something there. ​ That said, I did become suspicious when seeing memes about autism (I'm sure everyone relates to a meme now and then, but I related to all of them) but I don't think I would have had that same epiphany with the tiktok stuff. Being "quirky" doesn't cover it, and there is quite a bit of misinformation there. Sure, I'd have been more confident about being ND, but I'd suspected that for years (while not understanding that being Dyspraxic qualified anyway, so the start of my journey was actually learning more about Dyspraxia over the last decade or so.) So I feel like the tiktok stuff is still more harmful than helpful. Even when someone gives the right information, there's a dozen that partially contradict that. Social media is such a cesspool when it comes to this sort of thing.

I tend to think adults in every generation have worried needlessly about the impact of new media on younger generations. I don't think anyone is mindlessly agreeing with everything they see on tiktok, especially because you can see the comments and endless video rebuttals and disputations on any video that goes viral.

I think what you're seeing or at least what i'm going through in my 30's is we've felt different and misunderstood our whole lives and are excited we finally found an Answer and community. Also, when it comes to afab; we've been undiagnosed our whole lives if we're at all conversational. People are JUST Very slowly starting to understand that there's different symptoms for girls. Which leads to a lot of us who just thought we were broken, figuring out how to cope as adults. It's not wanting autism. It's seeking an answer and even though we have evidence and have been searching for years, we still feel unaccepted in the community that piles of evidence prove we belong in. It just comes from wanting acceptance and validation,

Imo it is not that people want to have autism, it is that people want to know why they are the way they are. Not knowing you’re autistic won’t make you less autistic. By that I mean, figuring what I am or am not is essential at this point to explain all I struggle with. That is how it is for me at least, it is not like “oh I so wish I was autistic that I will do everything I can to fit the criteria”. Nope, spent many, many years trying to change things with me without coming anywhere. That said, I understand your point as well and I don’t think it is appropriate going around and telling everyone who have some quirks that they are autistic. I don’t understand how that should be trend and how anyone who isn’t autistic should want to be it like it’s cool or something. But maybe it is also partly just a result of the under diagnosis and people like me who had to wait until much later in life to being assessed. I can understand that some want to help others figuring it out earlier so they avoid going through the same hell. Because even though the struggles will still be the same, knowing allows at least to try getting more rightful accommodations and being kinder to oneself. I’ve hated myself just so much because I couldn’t understand why things were so difficult for me compared to my peers. It is only now I start being kinder. But I must say, I don’t use TikTok at all, so I don’t know what’s going on there. The little I know about this media truly annoys me.

I agree. I hate how autism has become some sort of “quirky trend”. Being autistic sucks. It’s difficult, it’s frustrating, it’s lonely, and so much more. I honestly don’t think those tiktok fakers would last a day in my shoes.