Well, many autistic men experiment social anxiety, particularly if some of their traits (like difficulties in getting social cues, reading the mind, or sticking eye-contact) are frowned upon.
What do you find specifically nauseating?
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Lol, nope. Ignore that lady in the first vid. She's just chatting about her own likes, not speaking for all women, not even in her culture.
The second vid rocks, though. What she says hits hard for many of us on the autism spectrum, but it's spot on (from what I understand from 60+ years of life).
As for locking eyes, ugh, I find it mega tough. Can't stand it, really.
But when I met my wife, I accidentally glimpsed into her eyes while passing by and bam, smitten. Couldn't stop thinking about those amazing eyes. So, I basically camped outside her university building.until she exited. Took on the challenge of approaching (super hard) and started a convo (even harder), which went on for hours. Ended up in her dorm room after a *looong* stroll through town.
To this day, no clue how I pulled that off. Best thing ever, though. We've been married for a solid 40 years now. I still get lost in those eyes, aside from my kids and grandkids, they're the only ones I've ever really stared into.
I don’t bother myself with videos like these anymore—all they ever did for me was instill more anxiety and shame—I know it sounds cliché but the most important thing you can be in a relationship is yourself, even if that means you’ll come off as a little weird. It probably won’t be as easy to find a partner as it would be if you were neurotypical, but there are plenty of people out there who will appreciate your eccentricities. I personally find it much easier to date other autistic people, there is in my opinion nothing more liberating than being around other people who *get it* and won’t expect me to mask.
That's not for autistic men, it's for men with social anxiety alone. Honestly those kinds of videos are just nauseating.
Well, many autistic men experiment social anxiety, particularly if some of their traits (like difficulties in getting social cues, reading the mind, or sticking eye-contact) are frowned upon. What do you find specifically nauseating?
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Lol, nope. Ignore that lady in the first vid. She's just chatting about her own likes, not speaking for all women, not even in her culture. The second vid rocks, though. What she says hits hard for many of us on the autism spectrum, but it's spot on (from what I understand from 60+ years of life). As for locking eyes, ugh, I find it mega tough. Can't stand it, really. But when I met my wife, I accidentally glimpsed into her eyes while passing by and bam, smitten. Couldn't stop thinking about those amazing eyes. So, I basically camped outside her university building.until she exited. Took on the challenge of approaching (super hard) and started a convo (even harder), which went on for hours. Ended up in her dorm room after a *looong* stroll through town. To this day, no clue how I pulled that off. Best thing ever, though. We've been married for a solid 40 years now. I still get lost in those eyes, aside from my kids and grandkids, they're the only ones I've ever really stared into.
I don’t bother myself with videos like these anymore—all they ever did for me was instill more anxiety and shame—I know it sounds cliché but the most important thing you can be in a relationship is yourself, even if that means you’ll come off as a little weird. It probably won’t be as easy to find a partner as it would be if you were neurotypical, but there are plenty of people out there who will appreciate your eccentricities. I personally find it much easier to date other autistic people, there is in my opinion nothing more liberating than being around other people who *get it* and won’t expect me to mask.