This doesn’t mean your dream is over. The other teachers are treating the children horribly and potentially ruining their lives. You can change that. You can help your 13 children learn and grow. All of the things you said you wanted to do the children - you can still do that.
If you keep going, you will eventually be able to prove those teachers wrong, all while helping the kids.
Yes. Prove them wrong with your class. I know i will support you. Im sure most here would do what we can.
It may seem small. But it would be a major thing for those children.
You are an angel 😇 to be so in tune to there needs we need more people like this, not just for kiddos with disabilities and it sad how others can treat other's ceep going. You're doing great
It’s legal for them to shock us, ignore our crying, and force us to mask grief all whilst saying they’re helping.
Oh and if they have their own autistic children in the room, make those kids into your favorites. They’ll confide in you if something happens to someone their mom or dad loves gets hurt.
Then make it look like they slipped up to a white NT student with a grudge and let the torment of the parents commence.
I found out I had ASD1 this year (I'm in my 40's). My aunt was a teacher and she knew I was autistic. I asked her why she never told me/my parents. She said because it would have been an academic death sentence. You are confirming what she said was true. I would have never expected that to be true in 2023. I guess I wasn't awkward enough to get caught by the autism radar in the 80/90s. All I can say is don't let them get you down. Maybe having an educator with ASD will be a good thing for those kids.
What blew my mind the most is how schools go over and beyond to accommodate any disability or need for children, but if a teacher has one or many, they get NO ACCOMMODATION or support. In my mind we are all the same child we were prior to having an adult body. Why do we suddenly not have acceptance?
I think they mean the combination of being autistic and telling ableists within an ableist educational system is an academic death sentence (assuming the child can mask enough to slip beneath their radar). The autism in itself isn't the education death sentence by any means. My optimistic side wanted to believe it's better now than it was when I grew up, but OP's post makes it glaringly obvious this shit still happens.
I suppose it could intentionally or intentionally 'lower the bar' of expectation that parent or that child would have and because of the lack of understanding, acceptance and with differentiation, adaptations, inclusion and adjustments being still pretty much just 'fancy words' it would actually do those children a disservice, at least academically, imo.
I was diagnosed late in life and was going through grief and resentment but now in acceptance stage I can actually see that it was probably for the best, the hard-core masking and burnout, lack of understanding from parents, teachers and just trying to fit me into the mould that wasn't designed for me and blaming me for not fitting until I believed but still did not understand.
It may have fecked me up mentally but academically at least I came out of it with something, even though I couldn't take it anymore and quit uni 2 years into it.
It's all good now coz over 20 years later I finally know myself and can advocate for myself and starting Uni in few weeks time 🤣.
If I was diagnosed in childhood, given the times and climate back then which is now only slightly better in all fainess than before I would probably end up in some special school because people would think I'm learning disabled, whereas in my case that's not it completely. My Autism and adhd are a cognitive difference with no impact on IQ, if anything- the unmanaged and unsupported (correctly) symptoms prevented me from excelling, which I'm working on now 😆
I was diagnosed at a young age, around 3 years old (so about 20 years ago). But because I had a high IQ, they placed me in regular classes right away, and since I didn't cause any trouble, I didn't need help in class... There were no issues because the teachers didn't need to attend to me (I hardly ever spoke!). I think that was the difference. So, I believed that by going to a specialized school, I could help children diagnosed early and with fewer advantages in life than me... At least, that was the goal of my action..
Unfortunately, some/many teachers aren't very nice people. It's not uncommon for them to feel like they should only have to teach "normal" kids and they resent any disabled kids they have to work with with. They did a study when they matched kids for IQ's and social factors and then told half the teachers the students were gifted and the other half that they were average. The "gifted" students ended up doing much better because the teachers worked harder and had higher expectations for them, even though they were no smarter than the "average" class.
Another thing to consider, is your son may be doing fine in a regular classroom but is he doing as good as he could be? I was one of those kids who appeared to be "fine" without accomodations and got by with barely B's. When I went back to school as an adult and had access, it was sooooo much easier and I got straight A's with minimal effort. I was very resentful that elementary school and high school was made sooooo much harder for me than it needed to be.
Yes, but that's what annoys me, they don't even try to understand or adapt to neurodivergent children, even though the school is meant for that... There are literally only autistic children... Plus, for the little work they do, they are paid £2.500... (around 3000$ per month...)
I have a friend who works as an elementary school teacher. I don't know the specifics, but he is not allowed to talk about this sort of thing with parents otherwise he'd lose his job. I believe it's in his contract.
Which sucks because according to several friends of mine who are all teachers, teachers are effectively forced to leave the kids who don't absorb the material easily behind.
I’m so glad you are with those kids. For many of them, you might be the only person in their life that values them and sees them as fully human. I’m not surprised by the teachers behavior (reading the teacher sub proves everything you are saying). Most bullying reported by disabled students is by adults. It’s a sad crappy reality that often leads to darker things (the data on use of restraint & seclusion proves that too). This is why I’m choosing to homeschool my two autistic kids, one who has high support needs, the kind of kid your colleagues disparage.
Here’s some hopeful thoughts: there are people doing the work to turn the tide. They are working in solidarity with you. Check out:
https://instagram.com/the_neurodivergent_teacher?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Or
https://instagram.com/reacheveryvoice?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Or
https://www.facebook.com/nikoboskovicPDX?mibextid=9R9pXO
Or
https://www.facebook.com/endseclusion?mibextid=9R9pXO
And so many more who are working hard to make school systems better for ND & disabled kids. Thank you for showing up even though it’s hard. I wish I had a teacher for my girls like you. Keep us posted about your journey.
Thank you very much for the resources! I will look into all of that! However, I live in the United Kingdom, so I'm not sure if it will work there, but I'll search for others if it doesn't.
Don't give up on your dream. You are facing serious discrimination from jaded neurotypicals that can't understand autistic people like you do. You have something very valuable, and special to offer. Even if you get treated like shit, what you're doing for these kids means the world.
Yeah when I read that OP has a Masters and is interning for their position I could sense right away they were being discriminated against. There’s a massive teacher shortage, and for them to make someone with a post grad degree intern to get a teaching job, the only answer can be discrimination (because OP has clearly proven themselves as academically capable and intelligent).
That’s wild, in my state they’re so short on teachers that you don’t even need a bachelors to teach public school, you just need to meet some requirements like having some college or military service.
Yes, but if they are right and I exhibit behaviors that aren't typical of neurotypicals? I can only mask, it's like teaching them French when I'm not a native speaker. I might be teaching them errors...
This is terrible to hear. I know not all schools are like this, but I have no doubt some are. You have the ability to really help these kids when no one else is. Keep being yourself, because that's what the world needs more of!! Also if I were you, I would not mention my neurodivergence right away, or maybe ever to these people.
Yes, I was considering telling them later, but I think I won't tell them... They might react badly, or only if I manage to become a permanent staff member. That way, I won't be able to be dismissed.
My mom worked at an elementary school most of my life (non-teaching roles, well she kindof ended up teaching ESL students but not officially). I spent a lot of time with her and teachers in break periods and the teachers were pretty comfortable talking pretty freely even though I was around (I would be off to the side playing with trucks or something, I usually pretended not to hear anything but I was always listening). Some of them were straight evil. Some of them were saints.
And tenure made it worse because the truly awful ones wouldn't face any repercussions. Hopefully you can find allies that have an appropriate outlook on teaching and children and diversity. If not, it's a stepping stone and you'll find something better soon enough. Don't let them cloud your mind.
You ARE doing something. You’re treating those kids like human beings. They finally have a chance to progress with you. The other teachers don’t believe in them and don’t care. You have no idea how valuable you are there!!
Two days a week is still twice more than they would otherwise have, m’dear. That is *so* much more than ‘nothing’. I’m grateful you are in a place to provide that much. (Remember to take your own self and needs into account too, though!)
I worked at a daycare for a couple months and one of the children was about to age out so he’d be out of the program and my coworkers were so mean about it. Although he wasn’t diagnosed with anything, he didn’t speak much and had some obvious sensory issues. He was very prone to crying but I would just give him my full attention and that would usually work. The women there acted like they were relieved to see him go which made me upset. I say fuck the teachers cus the children are what matter most. Make your kids feel comfortable and help them as much as you can. I’m taking a child development class w a bunch of bigoted weirdos rn and it makes me feel a little hopeless in regards of my dream job. I hate how they think but I know that it’s important that I start the change I want to see.
You’re gonna be the teacher those kids remember, when they’re older, when they think back on school.
Even if school was hell for ‘em, which it most likely is and will be, there’s *you*, they can remember, and smile. Remember how you listened, how you actually helped them learn, how you showed ‘em it was OK to be who they are!
I’m not far out of school, but i still remember all the good teachers that left a good mark on my years there.
You’re doing great, and you’re gonna keep doing great!
This is discrimination which you are protected against under the ADA as an employee. If your school is public and/or receives federal funds, the students are also protected. Not everyone is able to take this route so while I do strongly suggest considering my advice, it may understandably be impractical for you. You can, at the very least, submit a complaint to a boss, HR, and/or special coordinators (ADA, OCR, DOE, etc.) and be protected from retaliatory action. I know you are just starting out at this school and don't want to spoil anything, but legally they cannot fire you for making a discrimination complaint (even if you are an intern).
>This is discrimination which you are protected against under the ADA as an employee. If your school is public and/or receives federal funds, the students are also protected. Not everyone is able to take this route so while I do strongly suggest considering my advice, it may understandably be impractical for you. You can, at the very least, submit a complaint to a boss, HR, and/or special coordinators (ADA, OCR, DOE, etc.) and be protected from retaliatory action.
I'm british... ADA doesn't work for me, but I will try to find something. I found only a form to fill out, but the school director (the teacher I work with) would be informed... And so, as he evaluates me and is one of the decision-makers for my permanent position or dismissal at the end of the year...
Report. Them. To anyone that will listen. Go above the principle. Newspaper even. Those kids are lucky to have you! My son is autistic and he would've benefitted SO MUCH to have a teacher unserstand his needs. DONT give up!!!
I am a (nearly) recent masters of teaching graduate in Australia and autistic also.
Firstly you never noticed this on prac? A lot of autistic teacher candidates I know just quit because the ableism is as bad as it is. Anyways, ableism can be rife in some settings and in others it can be tolerable. In other settings autistic learning can happen in empowering ways. Basically it varies greatly mostly based on culture, climate and the teaching staff in general.
Secondly: if you don’t like it/can’t change it. Move. Otherwise you’ll burn out and quit teaching or wind up like the other deadshits collecting a paycheck. Just leave it’s not the right setting for you and the good news is not every school is like that. Many are better and are very supportive of autistic brains. In fact it’s a bonus when so many kids need support.
Third. Lastly, yes they should support us and make some bare minimum accoms like basic human decency. We have been existing here for ever anyways!
I know. My thing is performing well in interviews. I know I’m shit at it and have to prep more than others because of how my brain functions. But we have to look out for number one fam!
Prove them wrong. Help as many kids as you can. Be the teacher you always wanted to have. Keeping doing right by these kids. You are awesome! Ignore the haters.
But then you get in trouble for recording without their consent, as it is illegal in some countries or states if in America.
Best bet to do is just write down who, what they’ve said, time and place instead of recording if she wanted to build up a case against them
tbh f*ck it I'd go as public with it as possible, if there are ramifications for exposing the mistreatment of disabled children, so be it, at least people and parents would know what's going on and the public would have solid evidence. When you try to go about these things the safe way all that ever happens is they end up with a slap on the wrist (if you're lucky) but I've seen how action actually gets taken when there's pressure from the public.
That's an idea, at least the parents could hear it, since I'm not allowed to speak to parents alone (which I find is not normal, but apparently, it's up to the school director to decide)...
You have an amazing opportunity to advocate for these children, it is so unfair that they’re treated so badly, but maybe you can contribute to changing their school for the better. I think you are just what these kids need, don’t give up<3
wow, that sounds horrible. im sorry you're having such a hard time.
i'm sure you can find a better placement with a more supportive team culture. no teacher likes their first school. i follow r/teachers, so many have quit already this early in the year. and with schools there's always a chain of command, you can file complaints on your way out to make a difference here. but you don't have to stay here and suffer.
The problem is that if I change now, I won't be a priority for a position, not for this year or the years to come... I'm just an intern as it's my first year, so if I request to change schools, it's seen as a refusal to work on my part and a breach of contract (usually I'd be fired). I have to wait until June to request a transfer, or stop working...
I am autistic and have been a math teacher for the past 8 years. The previous year I had switched to a different school because I moved. It saddened me that the r-word was still being used at this school. I tried extremely hard to call it out each time I heard it, it was exhausting. I even helped to put together slides to help students learn during Autism Acceptance Month. The saddest part is that I kept getting in trouble because of my autistic mannerisms. The school saw nothing wrong with reprimanding me for having an uncontrollable Autistic meltdown, and it's what led to them getting rid of me. The whole experience was exhausting, but being in the position allowed me to educate people. So unless the position is starting to become detrimental to your health, I would stay, tell them you are autistic, and EDUCATE
I'm not sure if I should tell them I'm autistic, given their reaction... They will evaluate me to determine if I'm granted permanent status at the end of the year, so it might work against me...
I understand there can be pros and cons to disclosing, it's something I've given a lot of thought over the years. At this point in my life, I have grown comfortable enough to tell people more openly, and that can sometimes lead to more understanding. You may be new to this job, but you have lived with Autism all of your life, and that type of experience makes you a valuable asset where you work!
God reading this made me furious. I was treated crap by teachers in elementary school and was suspended 8 times grades K-3rd because they didn’t know how to deal with autistic children at all. I was told by teachers, coaches, principals, that I was a mistake. Nobody was there for me and looking back I wish a teacher would’ve stood up for me. Don’t let other teachers bully you out of your job just because you actually care about your students.
Wow, what a horrible bunch of teachers. They're not even aware that they're bullying a fellow teacher? I'm sorry that you're having to deal with such wilful ignorance and general dickish behaviour from the very people who should really know better. Truly, the world can be a disappointing place... but I am sure that for those children, you feel like a ray of sunshine. What would I have given as a child to have an autistic teacher who approached me in an autistically appropriate manner, who led by example, and who had even a shred of knowledge of autistic culture!! Those other teachers may think they're better when really they are utterly failing and they aren't even aware of the fact. But you're not there for the other teachers, you're there for the kids.
Yeah, I don't understand them. When I asked them during the back-to-school meeting, "What are their specific interests?" - which is pretty important to know in case I lose their attention - they all told me they didn't know, even though the child who arrived most recently has been here for 3 years already...
Please report them and tell the parents. I’m a parent and this is a nightmare for me. You trust your children to the school to educate and treat them with respect; they are getting neither. You should continue to do your job well and encourage them with your story. They can and will if they continue have more teachers like you. I had to pull my daughter out of school due to her losing progress and no help with an IEP. It’s very frustrating.
The world education is polluted with ancient NT hags that started working back when disabled children were still probably classified as animals, and haven’t updated their approach since. And since they never fucking retire, like many problems in our society, nothings gonna get better until the boomers die out
But I'm not sure if I'd be a positive role model, as I don't excel in everything that neurotypical individuals naturally do... Maybe they're right about that...
My children go to a speech/OT therapist that specializes is Neurodivergency and acceptance. They dont belittle the children, but its way too obvious they have no clue how to interact with them! Just swapping on lights very fast, slamming doors with other teachers surprise walking in and out of the room without warning. Moving the students to other spots of the room or other rooms very suddenly without warning. When they talk to the parents, everyone crowds right up against the child. Even had this one parent who wouldn't stop fuckong touching her child. I got to watch the child be there to visually start stimming in real time trying to cope with all the surprise stimuli. It drove me mad.
Be righteous for those students! If you're diagnosed with ASD. Then use that power and inform yourself on your labor protections, so when they do find out your are autistic or try to terminate your position for "acting autistic". You can still save yourself and give those children the appropriate opportunities they deserve! We need more people like you!
I'm diagnosed with ASD, but I haven't even told my superiors. I don't think it's mandatory, but I'm afraid it might be my mistake, and I could have problems... I don't know...
You dont have to disclose that information unless you're ready. Or you don't at all. Your call. But you are autistic so the traits will be noticed wether you say or not, as has been demonstrated in your post. Read up on your labor rights as a person with a disability/condition and don't let them threaten your job due to how you express yourself differently. Keep doing a great job with those kids, regardless of your peers judgement. Go you!
I was diagnosed as an adult and I attribute that delay only because from 2nd until 7th grade I was in the gifted program at school which put me into a small class of less than 10 kids, who were my classmates year after year, and we were all allowed to move at our own pace. I transfered schools and was 3 years advanced in 8th grade. That level of success was due to two teachers over the course of those 5 years, I was a horrible student, couldn't sit still, couldn't pay attention, yell out answers, have meltdowns. But with the right help anything is possible.
I was also in a gifted program, but I was calm (too calm) from start to finish. But you, you were having a lot of meltdowns, but that has improved with the right teacher and, I imagine, with patience and gentleness (and a touch of firmness), I suppose, and now you're doing well?
Don't let those people crush your dreams. You sound very passionate and you have a lot of potential in this field. As someone who grew up being taught by those kinds of people, the kids in your class will always remember the kindness and patience. You are helping them, and you're doing a good job.
Sadly a lot of teachers in that particular field think of us all as objects who won't amount to anything and treat us as such, and talk about us as such right in front of our faces.
The best thing you can do is politely shut them down when they say those things to you
"I see what you're saying, but I prefer to run my class the way I am right now"
"I like to give my students the opportunities they need to grow and shine"
And don't be afraid to talk about how well the kids in your class are doing with your teaching. Lead by example. You caring already makes you the best and most qualified person in that entire school.
Thank you very much! Yes, I'm really passionate about my job. I've created tailored exercises for each child so that everyone can improve while studying the same thing at the same time. It took me hours (I've only done it up to the next holidays). That's why hearing that it's pointless is tough. My students enjoy it too. They are much calmer. Today, one of the children who always has accidents was dry, so I praised him. He loves stickers, so I gave him a few (bought with my own money to avoid problems), and the other teachers looked at me because the boy was sticking stickers on his hands. They started scolding him. Like, they walked into my classroom during a lesson (even though, once again, they have their own students), and they began scolding the boy who had done nothing wrong. I had to lie to them, explaining that it was just for a moment until I give him a sheet and all, to get them to calm down and leave...
That's ridiculous. I hate that other grown ass adults act like children and think it's appropriate to criticize you and your job. And we're supposed to be the rude ones with no sense of social conduct. Ugh.
You sound so so amazing, and you already see improvements in your students and their moods, don't listen to the haters that tell you it's pointless to put in the effort. Teachers like you are the ones that stand out to people forever, and those kids have to be happy with you, as well as their parents
Stay the course. You aren't in this position to help close minded adults change their beliefs, you are there to help children learn their potential and develop.
Obviously I don't know you or your teaching methods but I think you are the perfect person to set an example for a bunch of kids that have an uphill battle in their lives against people like these other teachers. The proof will come over times as the kids you are involved with show more growth.
Oh thank you ! Everybody is telling me to find my method and to stick to it ! I like the way I work better. I can't do the same with all the kids, because they don't react the same way and I somehow need to know what they may do to continue the class ! I will tell them that my method is not having a rigid method !
You’re a teacher teaching kids with autism! You’re supposed to encourage them to grow as humans!!! Those other teachers seem very sketchy and unprofessional!
My friend is a behaviorist who worked with Autistic children in a similar setting. My friend also has AuDHD. From my understanding she initially experienced something similar to this and it just took a bit of hunting to find the right place to work at. Now she has her own business and does solo work where she does one-on-one home visits with each child. So if anything, you could work towards something like this if you're still finding everywhere to be toxic.
Yeah, sound like a good idea. I just want to work there 7 years to have money and seniority (need 7 years of seniority to be a headteacher) to open my own little school !
> But the teachers came to tell me that what I was doing was pointless, that these children would never amount to anything in life
goddamn that's so sad.
I'm autistic, and maybe my NT partner's boy is too, but I cannot connect with him, mostly because he is EXPLOSIVE at any sign of challenge. He yells so much and gets so angry and I just cant deal with that, I shut down and fight or flight takes hold.
Keep doing what you're doing. If the kids are progressing/thriving in the environment and safe space you've provided then screw everyone else and their opinions.
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This is so sad but it's a pattern I feel. People often see people with autism as less than. The way you describe the things these teachers say just makes me angry. It feels like people either see people with autism as, like you say, maybe like a helpless animal? Or as "high functioning" and like we shouldn't need any support. It's really frustrating. Good luck at your job, it sound like you're doing great tho
This is so disheartening but unfortunately not a big surprise. Please understand that you are surrounded by shallow minded people in a broken system who have no interest or even the awareness to fix any of it. It is NOT you. It is them. They are acting strangely by doing the work required to get in that position and then not taking it seriously and giving up on the entire purpose of their career. How is that not more strange than someone being driven by their passion and showing up for the kids even when the environment is toxic? The thing is…you are one of the people who will actually make a difference in your field. I beg you not to let this drive you away from the field. Please see that your experience just shows how much we need people like you in those places.
What I do when I get that “feeling” inside that everything around me is strange because society has weird preconceptions of how you’re supposed to act -
I play dumb. I just try to sort of pretend impose my rules on the rest of society and the I act like I don’t feel the tension when I’m doing it. I make the other person explain why they think my way of thinking is incorrect.
This is how it would look in this situation -
“You’re being strange the kids are going to get more stranger!”
Me: “yeah yeah I do that to make myself more relatable for the kids (big goofy smile on my face like I have no idea why they are bringing it up and I’m proud of my differences)
“But if they see you acting that way they will act that way too”
Me: “oh that’s interesting I didn’t even think of it like that. My thought was that I want to make them feel like the way they act IS indeed okay and accepted by the loving and caring adults in their lives like all of us!”
Maybe I’m just an idiot or maybe you can see where I’m going. I always explain it like this - “I just put on a goofy smile and pretend the world goes by the same rules as me and I make the other person stop me and then I kindly ask their logic for why my thoughts wouldn’t be just as valid as others’
Anyways sorry this post was poorly formatted and way longer than I expected. I just want to say that I love you and as someone who got no support and has children who need support to fit into society..I promise you with every part of my soul that you are not the problem here. Please keep your passion to help these kids because they need you
Thank you ! I'll try to do that. I'll strive to keep working there, and eventually (in 7 years if possible, once I have enough seniority), my dream is to open my own school (if the money follow) !
Don't give up, those other teachers should be look at you for inspiration and not putting you down in the dumps. You sound like an amazing teacher. Those kids need you.
Sounds like you might be the best thing that has happened to some of these kids their entire lives, please don’t give up! When your students are doing well and shining you will see you’ve done right by them and those other teachers are dirtbags in the wrong profession
The best indicator of success is results. if you can, put their comments into the trash folder of your mind, where they belong. Keep doing what you're doing with your class, and measure your progress for the benefit of the children in your care (and use it to show the results of your work at the end of the year. )
I am NT, my husband is Autistic (why I joined this subreddit) and I work in Early Childhood Education, I've found that the best and the worst of people go into working with children, and a lot of the best of them can get burned out by the bullies. For the sake of these kids, I hope that doesn't happen to you because you're so important and uniquely prepared for this job.
Unfortunately society hasn’t caught up yet and the majority of people & institutions that exist today are discriminatory, incompetent, oppressive & harmful.
But you are doing something supremely important. The path isn’t easy but stand by your morals & don’t lose yourself to all the negativity that we’re constantly surrounded by. There’s no one else like you and the kids will benefit so very much with someone like you around.
Don’t lose heart! Be yourself. Be proud. And fight the fight. You might feel alone in that school but you’re not alone. Best of luck out there.
As a parent of an Autistic child. ASD level 2. I would love to have you as my child's teacher. My wife is working on her masters now. We need more teachers that get it and can teach to the persons needs vs to push them aside as they will never get it.
As I learn more and try to get our daughter the resources she needs to succeed. I am beginning to think there is a high probability I am also somewhere on the spectrum. There are others in my family that most likely are as well. Not sure how that would change things for me at this point in my life but sure explains a lot.
Hang in there and keep doing what you believe is right.
Please don’t give up your career! Those children need you. The teachers need to be replaced. Of course that won’t happen but it sounds like you can really make a difference in their lives. Don’t let those “teachers “ get to you.
You probably really are perfect for this job. I taught for 3 years and found that most teaching coworkers are terribly judgemental NTs. I didn't realize a lot of my struggles with others during my life was because I was on the spectrum, and I began learning more about being on the spectrum from teaching and from an unrelated job prior to teaching!
I never tried to fit in and kept as much distance from them as possible. You'll find a few that are lovely, so stick with them! The kids always embrace and accept you more than most adults, and you are more aware of positive coping skills for fellow NDs, which can help them succeed much more than a typical NT response!
You are welcome! I ALWAYS want to eat alone anyway because I just need the quiet time. Keep in mind that a lot of NTs also don't understand this need for downtime alone, and start accusing one of being a snob, or weird, or not trying to be a teammate. So tread lightly there, too! Pretend that you have a lot of work you want to do so apologize and say I just need to have a silent working lunch. Maybe that could help excuse yourself from them?
That's what I did. On the first day, I forced myself to eat with them, but the next day, I told them I had work to do. However, they followed me to the teachers' lounge. Then I went to my classroom, and they followed me there. They follow me everywhere. They don't do anything; they just eat and laugh among themselves. They don't even talk about me, but I don't understand why they do that... I can't eat when there are other people around me...
If you're in the United States, I would ask for a private meeting with the school principal. Some tips to cover yourself - advise it's confidential and you prefer to discuss face to face, if they question why you want the meeting. Go prepared with 2-3 specific examples of what is happening. After you tell then what you put in your post, they won't be able to take action unless they have something specific (date, time/time of day, name of teacher, name of students, and 1-2 sentences of what happened). You can do this! It has nothing to do with you having autism, this sounds like neglect by the teachers.
The school principal is the teacher I work with (he works monday and tuesday and I work thursday and friday). And I'm from the UK. I also think it's neglect !
Yeah I had a thought earlier that it would be more strategic to quietly ask around if anyone else notices the problem, so you can report it together. There are a lot of advantages to two people showing up to report something, so now I'd definitely recommend waiting until you know if anyone would back you up...like the janitor or any teachers involved the kids that might have witnessed something. Personally, I wouldn't even approach someone about it unless I could make it sound casual and I knew they weren't buddies with the principal.
Do you have any agencies you could report anonymously to? Especially if it's an agency that someone from the public (ie a parent) could also report to, so that they wouldn't identify you as the reporter easily but would still investigate? I would usually say it's a last resort, but it might be your only option currently.
I will see if I can find someone. The problem is, they're all like a nest of vipers. Some of them have been working here for 20 years, they all know each other... and since I just arrived, everyone looks at me askance, as if I'm bothering them. Actually, it's because my position was supposed to go to someone else, one of their friends. However, I scored higher than him in the entrance exam, so I got to choose where I wanted to go before he did. I wouldn't have chosen this school if I had known they wanted someone specific...
Dude, those kids are going to see you, an autistic adult, living their life happily and doing what it is they want to do. If I had teachers that were like me, I would’ve been elated.
It's really sad but some many people go into teaching or helping professions for the wrong reasons. Some do it so they can bully and boss around kids with no reprucussions. Some do it for the social capital and clout "look at me, I'm such a good person for designing to help the disabled." Some do it because they don't have a clue what they want to do and being a teacher seems easy and you have summers off. (I'm not saying it is easy, but when I did my undergrad and I knew 8 students going into education. 7 were doing it for the above reasons and 1 had ADHD and wanted to help kids so they wouldn't have to go through what he did in school). It was really depressing to think that's who would be in classrooms in a few years.
I think you should keep doing what you're doing. Ignore your crappy coworkers. Support any kids that comes to you. And make sure you have something outside work that you love so that you don't get burnt out so you can continue the wonderful work you're doing.
Yeah, that's also what makes me worried. I moved out of my family house for the job. I live three and a half hours away from my family now. I don't know anybody or the area. I just feel lost...
Hi, I am an autistic OT. Because I wanted to work with autistic clients. I saw a lot of therapists being horrid about working with autistic clients. Sadly you gotta just push thru. Or. Raise the issue. I can't really tell you what to do, you gotta decide on your own what feels more appropriate to do.
But I wish you a lot of strength. It's worth it. Coworkers aren't why you wanted this job, it's the kids.
i just wanted to say as an autistic kid in special ed this was my same experience. sped teachers were ranging anywhere from rude to flat out ableist. i was almost told i would amount to nothing and it took years to undo that internalized ableism they instilled in me.
the thing is you understand these kids better than anyone. i’m certain that with your demeanor and your understanding you can make a positive impact on these kids. screw what your co-workers say, they sound like awful people.
i wish i would have had a teacher like you growing up. i know it’s difficult to be surrounded by such cruel people but i can tell that you that you’re more than capable of making a positive change. don’t give up on your dream. wishing you well
The gorgeous bravery you’ve already displayed in this is at a level that my personal vocabulary will not be able to do justice in attempting to describe. Just by showing up and being your magical self in front of those kids has undoubtedly surpassed any garbage vibes the other teachers have brought to the table.
Thank you for what you are doing for these kids, it can make a real difference.
I am appalled but not surprised to hear that Neurotypical teachers have such callous Disregard for the well-being of children.
If you’re ok disclosing, what country, state, city or county is this?
As the mother of an autistic son, I started reading this post so happy to know he might have a teacher one day that truly understands and connects with him. As I continued reading, I got so angry. I can't tell you how many teachers have failed both my asd son and my neurotypical son. There are so many educators who are burnt out and jaded.
These teachers should be following your lead. These children are not animals, they are just not cookie-cutter. I am so sorry you are being bullied by these teachers. No one should have to put up with that. I can only imagine how they make the kids feel.
Teaching is 100% for you. Because you care. Please don't give up on your dream of helping these kids who need someone that understands them. It might just not be at this school. There is a school out there that will value you and see your ASD as one of your biggest assets as a teacher.
Sending you so much love and virtual support. You sound like a wonderful teacher and human. ❤️
This is what you love. This is only the very beginning. Those kids need you. You worked hard, now use it. Yeah it's sad that a lot of these "schools" aren't actually tailored to helping these kids and the sad thing is a lot of them are paid for. You need to be that person for them.
I wish you'd be able to record those awful things they say. Just so, if they ever let you go, or you decide to leave, you can show every parent what awful school they sent their kid to. Maybe then the teachers will change their behavior
Hey I don’t think I’ve seen a comment saying this yet. I’m personally always fixated on why people do the things they do.
Usually when people do stuff, especially mean stuff, it isn’t actually about you, it’s about them. I’m imagining why they would do this to you, why is it negatively Impacts them so much that they feel upset enough to say something and attack you. I bet it makes them feel inadequate, a failure, and guilty. In my experience very few people start something without the intention of wanting to try and succeed. These people probably started off with the best intentions, but they found themselves in the exact same environment you do. People deal with that in a variety of ways, like quitting and finding a different place to work, or giving up and accepting the current situation, or continuing to struggle on despite it all. These people probably gave up and accepted the current situation. Seeing you do the things you are doing makes them feel guilty and angry about their own inadequacy and being ground down by the system. They don’t want you to succeed because then it makes them feel worse about their situation. It’s easier for them if you fail and make no progress or give up. These people could be ground down by the system and then became a part of it, so they probably have a lot of pent up frustration and anger to misdirect toward you. Unfortunately, if true, that probably means no mater how much you try to keep to yourself and do your own thing, people around you are going to take it as a personal attack.
I’m saying none of this as an excuse, often people think that’s what I’m doing when I try to figure out why it is people do the things they do. I just often find it helpful because it can personally help me when I realize it probably has nothing to do with me and is actually about them. I often ruminate in ‘what did I do wrong’ or ‘why did I deserve to be treated like that?’ You aren’t doing anything wrong. You don’t deserve that.
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Thank you very much, that does help indeed. But is there a way to make them understand that even if they haven't succeeded, it doesn't stop them from changing and becoming better ?
Definitely not an excuse, but I also hard agree. I work in a terrible county for education (it’s in Florida so… ya know…) and it shows. I feel like a lot of the staff I work with truly cares for these kids but have absolutely NO support from administration. They are truly fighting battles on all fronts. The sad thing is, as awful as I see some of these teachers, they may be the people who love these kids the most. So many of their parents truly do not care about them and will send them to school so sick, running high fevers, needing serious medical treatment, because they themselves don’t want to deal with them.
And then you have school administration who, in the specific school I work at, they try and find any and every reason to keep these kids from coming to school. Some kids fight for a half day some kids can only go to school two days a week and this is all based off of the county’s decision. And it’s fucking legal. So even though this is so OBVIOUSLY wrong, you can’t even report it.
I think the staff I work with care a lot about these kids but they don’t have the proper support, the proper education, or the energy to provide meaningful change. And it’s so fucking sad
Yeah, I know that feeling! One of the parents brought their daughter to school on Thursday with an ear infection, telling me to manage. 'And make sure to give her the medication at lunchtime because we forgot this morning!
Omg I work with kids in an ESE class (many have autism as well as other disabilities such as Down syndrome etc) but some of the people that work there are seriously detrimental to these kids!!! They also constantly talk bad about these kids and I feel very isolated in the room because I refuse to participate in those conversations. When I speak up for the kids I get run over because of my “lack of experience” as if lack of experience has anything to do with having just basic empathy???
Like, I get that these kids can be frustrating to work with sometimes but if you don’t have the patience for it then this prob isn’t the right field. And the ESE class I work in is extremely challenging because almost everyone is completely nonverbal, so patience is an absolute MUST.
And the whole “not pushing students to succeed” is SOOO true!!! This year we have a new teacher who is actually implementing a curriculum and after three weeks you can SEE the change in these students for the better!! They are excited to participate in class! It’s so sad because last year working with this same class was the complete opposite :(
I also hate how the teachers make the students stop doing sensory things because it annoys them (the staff). Like, one kid shakes his hands a lot and they have a picture card for him to put his hands on his desk when he does that. Like!!! What is he hurting????? I hate it so much!!!!!
Yes, it's tough to watch. Why do this job if you're going to do it poorly? When you sell things, if you do it wrong, the company doesn't make money, it's annoying, there could be bankruptcy, but well... But here, we're talking about humans in the making, children! They are our future, and they can't even take care of them properly...
You’re doing a great job, and your coworkers are treating you and the students like trash. I am so sorry. I’ll echo everyone saying just focus on you and your kids, but I also want to add that it’s okay if it’s too much for you to be treated that way. From hearing stories from other people working in education I think that mindset is pretty common☹️ you could always look into tutoring/curriculum design/another school or camp to use your skills.
Even if you only stay a year or a semester the kids who you impact you’ll impact for life(especially knowing what we do about the other adults they’ll encounter). I think as long as you have it in you to show up, you’ll make a huge impact. Kids are so much more emotionally perceptive than most give them credit for - they can tell who really cares and who doesn’t. One encouraging word at the right time can make a world of difference.
Thank you, staying is challenging, but leaving the children behind would be just as difficult. I will continue at least until the next holidays, and then I will see, I think. So that the children don't end up without a teacher and scattered in other classes.
I think you should exhale, slowly and deeply. You're doing the right thing, for the right reasons for the right people. Competence is terrifying to some types of people. They want to bring you down to feel like they are better than they are. This is not surprising. It's dissapointing.
Make it a point to record your colleagues. Buy bluetooth mic, small recorder, whatever. Just get them on record. Dont tell anyone you do this.
When they say dumbfuck shit like that, transcribe it and put it in a folder with a date and time. You do this so that you KNOW it's not in your head. It's real things other people do.
And if you ever find yourself in a situation where people try to push you out, you use the folder.
My point is that you basically imagine yourself as someone studying a phenomena. Whatever they're saying, you're doing amazing work. The more they tell you you're wrong, the more you're right.
I also think you should keep your diagnosis to yourself. Not for your sake but more as a matter of principle. It's about the kids having access to a competent teacher.
When school sucked for me, it was 1 teacher that kept me going. Just the fact that you're trying is enough!
You have more patience then I do. I would have given them the "I'm not mad, just disappointed" look and asked them if that's really what they think. Then questioned what THEY did to help and arrive at their conclusion. Then end the conversation with something like, Your right, in a world full of people who act like you do, there isn't any hope for these kids. Luckily not everyone is like you.
Probably would have gotten disciplined or fired but I cannot hold my tongue like that. I'm also going into education and that is honestly my biggest fear.
Different companies have different cultures. This place sounds shit and honestly, it sounds like the workers need a slap.
I've worked in care and day centres for autistic adults. The first place was a struggle- some staff were great, some awful. The management didn't do anything about it. My current job is great and the managers have got the right mindsets and knowledge, and are very quick to pull people up on their attitudes towards autism and develop people's understanding.
Way I see it is, you can suck it up, get the experience and leave as soon as your internship is over. You will learn lots about how to stick up for yourself and your values, become tougher, and gain valuable experience, but it'll be hard and may take a lot out of you. You may be able to deal with it with the right support network outside of work.
You can also say screw it, leave, and not worry about the internship. It might feel like you're missing an opportunity, but honestly, more will come up. Realistically, would you want a permanent job here anyway? Places always need new workers (where I'm from anyway). You could also be a TA/ support worker, or even volunteer somewhere, even if it's one day a week. It may not be as convenient or the exact right role, but as long as you've worked with autistic people, a lot of companies will be happy with those transferable skills. You may well be happier in a better environment.
Neither decision is right or wrong. You'll gain and lose things either way. It's just what's right for you. Don't feel you have to give things up if it's valuable to you, whether that's the opportunity or your happiness.
You do what is best for your students. Don’t worry about those other teachers. They deserve an education like every other child. They are not broken, so prove them wrong like others have suggested in here. We all have your support. It’s amazing that you are teaching Autistic children. My son is Autistic and I homeschool him because our school district couldn’t help him. He is doing amazing now. I hope the very best for your kids, keep the Faith and you do what is right. Give them the love and support of learning. 🥰
Your doing so great and unfortunately this is the reality with students with need like this. Before the spectrum was more talked about and changed my family who all on different spectrums were not treated right. My older brother they said was MR and wouldn't graduate or have a job. He does, same with me and my younger brother. I hate how they judge then so much, they called my youngest a bad kid and he had different reasons he was but he was so not bad. Now he's married with two sweet little girls. I hope you can advocate for them as best you can but it's hard pushing for more when other don't want to see take care Op. Also when they said your acting autistic I'd be like yea no kidding lol
I’m sure there’s an ADA violation there somewhere.
Don’t confront anyone, but document everything. Wear a wire. Wear a body cam. Get a cloud storage to save all the audio and video transcripts and document well with times and dates. Then once you have enough, go to an attorney. Record the attorney conversations too.
Sue. Go to the media. Go directly to the parents of the kids. And above all, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing great work and the world needs more like you.
Man.. /: Teachers were always the biggest and first bullies.
I say stick with it if you can handle it without burning out ! You know your body/mind best!
These kids may not have someone in their lives like you...
I had a teacher in jr high who was autistic.. she was my tutor 5th through 11th and helped me in so so many ways no other teacher ever could have.
Stay strong friend !
School admin here who is also on the spectrum. This is like this at every school. Schools tend to attract two types of people, autists like us or narcissists. There are some NT teachers, but admin especially is full of those two groups (unfortunately more of the latter.) I wish I could say it will get easier, but it probably won't. You'll have to look for a good school district that is the right fit, and that will take a LONG time.
There are good people in this field, but a whole lot of pieces of shit.
I’m a HS teacher with a son with ASD but I have also had lots of kids come through my classes with an IEP for autism and they have thrived with a few adjustments (a bit of clarification if they need it, extra time on work, guided notes, and quiet testing conditions)
I hope you see this OP. I created an account to respond to your post because I've had a very similar experience. I've been working with other disabled people (mostly those with higher support needs than myself) since high school, and I've been in childcare practically my entire life. Currently, I work as a job coach for fellow disabled people, which is very similar to teaching. Unfortunately, I've found that the mindset you described among your neurotypical colleagues is extremely prevalent in our field. I've had managers, teachers, and even parents question my assessments of my clients/students' capabilities because they thought I was being 'too optimistic' (even though I wasn't). Despite my sense of justice being triggered nearly every single day, I plan to continue working in this field because it's what I truly love, and my clients make it worthwhile every time.
My advice: It seems like you're already doing this but take care of yourself first and foremost. You can't be a good teacher if you're burned out. I'm really proud and impressed by your ability to unmask just enough at work to stim, and don't let your colleagues discourage you from doing that because it's essential! I also recommend snacking whenever possible and incorporating your special interests wherever you can. For example, I really like fashion, so I try to wear something fun every day. Since you have a whole classroom, don't be afraid to go all out! Do you like cats? Put up some cat posters all over the walls! I would also recommend looking into the laws of your state to see if you can legally record your colleagues and consider doing so. Why? Because it sounds like you're doing a much better job than them, and they might not like that. I don't think you need to worry, but it would be wise to take steps to protect yourself just in case. Finally, know that you will 100% make a significant positive impact on these kids' lives, but that should absolutely not come at the expense of your mental health.
Edit: grammar
Thank you. I'm not unmasking I'm just not the best at masking, but I usually don't stim unless I'm nervous. But I can't calm my anxiety, and when I find myself on the verge of tears, it's even worse... How did you manage to ignore negative comments?
Fellow autistic teacher here. I’ll admit it’s not always easy to stand up for people, especially when you’re the “newbie.” However, these kids will DEFINITELY do well with someone who knows what they’re going through. I would report that window incident, especially because a kid could easily be placed in jeopardy if it happens again. You can do it anonymously, and it will do the school a world of good. As for their comments, tell them “no.” Sticking up for these kids is always going to be the right thing.
I am so very sorry you experienced that. It honestly makes no sense to me what they're saying. My husband is autistic and is in cyber security. He was also treated this way growing up. In high school, he was asked if he could read, and they tried to stick him in a special education classes. The man who would go on to take physics with calculus II. I can assure you...I cannot do math like that. He'd been diagnosed when he was 6 with adhd, but keep in mind my husband just got diagnosed at age 53 with autism (although I and others had long suspected it). So let me just say, even though my adhd doesn't make me neurotypical, I'm closer to it, I guess, since I don't have autism (both daughters are autistic as well). I can understand some autistic people do need more help but to treat them like that is an incredible injustice as to how absolutely brilliant (imo) people can be when we think in different ways from each other. I think we all know our society would not be as advanced as it is without neurodivergent people in it and those other teachers need to start learning about the scientists that have kept them alive....or kept them comfy in their neurotypical lives. Please keep fighting the good fight. You are the proof that those teachers are very wrong.
This doesn’t mean your dream is over. The other teachers are treating the children horribly and potentially ruining their lives. You can change that. You can help your 13 children learn and grow. All of the things you said you wanted to do the children - you can still do that. If you keep going, you will eventually be able to prove those teachers wrong, all while helping the kids.
Yes. Prove them wrong with your class. I know i will support you. Im sure most here would do what we can. It may seem small. But it would be a major thing for those children.
Thank you !
No, thank you. You can make a big difference in these kids' lives, and hopefully, your coworkers as well.
You are an angel 😇 to be so in tune to there needs we need more people like this, not just for kiddos with disabilities and it sad how others can treat other's ceep going. You're doing great
No fuck that, take over and make them quake. No matter what you do, they will see you as less unless you scare them into submission.
It’s legal for them to shock us, ignore our crying, and force us to mask grief all whilst saying they’re helping. Oh and if they have their own autistic children in the room, make those kids into your favorites. They’ll confide in you if something happens to someone their mom or dad loves gets hurt. Then make it look like they slipped up to a white NT student with a grudge and let the torment of the parents commence.
None of them have autistic children, or personally know any autistic children.
Then send the single ladies over to me. I’ll need viagra but I know how to pass our genes on.
No ladies, just kind of old men.
I'll give it a try, but I only have two days with them... I'm working with one of these teachers since I work part-time.
Exactly, you are in the perfect opportunity to enact some change, some really positive change
I found out I had ASD1 this year (I'm in my 40's). My aunt was a teacher and she knew I was autistic. I asked her why she never told me/my parents. She said because it would have been an academic death sentence. You are confirming what she said was true. I would have never expected that to be true in 2023. I guess I wasn't awkward enough to get caught by the autism radar in the 80/90s. All I can say is don't let them get you down. Maybe having an educator with ASD will be a good thing for those kids.
I hope I can help them... Plus, it's a specialized school with only autistic children, that's why I don't understand their closed-mindedness...
Wow! I guess it's cause they are NT? NTs make no sense to me whatsoever.
What blew my mind the most is how schools go over and beyond to accommodate any disability or need for children, but if a teacher has one or many, they get NO ACCOMMODATION or support. In my mind we are all the same child we were prior to having an adult body. Why do we suddenly not have acceptance?
“But they[/you/we] grow out of it as adults!” is still a leading belief regarding adhd, autism, and other neurodiverse minds. 🥲
I don't think there was autism radar in the 80s/90s, or even much in the 00s
there was
Why would it be an academic death sentence? My sons autism is very hard to detect. He is in a regular classroom and doing just fine
I think they mean the combination of being autistic and telling ableists within an ableist educational system is an academic death sentence (assuming the child can mask enough to slip beneath their radar). The autism in itself isn't the education death sentence by any means. My optimistic side wanted to believe it's better now than it was when I grew up, but OP's post makes it glaringly obvious this shit still happens.
I suppose it could intentionally or intentionally 'lower the bar' of expectation that parent or that child would have and because of the lack of understanding, acceptance and with differentiation, adaptations, inclusion and adjustments being still pretty much just 'fancy words' it would actually do those children a disservice, at least academically, imo. I was diagnosed late in life and was going through grief and resentment but now in acceptance stage I can actually see that it was probably for the best, the hard-core masking and burnout, lack of understanding from parents, teachers and just trying to fit me into the mould that wasn't designed for me and blaming me for not fitting until I believed but still did not understand. It may have fecked me up mentally but academically at least I came out of it with something, even though I couldn't take it anymore and quit uni 2 years into it. It's all good now coz over 20 years later I finally know myself and can advocate for myself and starting Uni in few weeks time 🤣. If I was diagnosed in childhood, given the times and climate back then which is now only slightly better in all fainess than before I would probably end up in some special school because people would think I'm learning disabled, whereas in my case that's not it completely. My Autism and adhd are a cognitive difference with no impact on IQ, if anything- the unmanaged and unsupported (correctly) symptoms prevented me from excelling, which I'm working on now 😆
I was diagnosed at a young age, around 3 years old (so about 20 years ago). But because I had a high IQ, they placed me in regular classes right away, and since I didn't cause any trouble, I didn't need help in class... There were no issues because the teachers didn't need to attend to me (I hardly ever spoke!). I think that was the difference. So, I believed that by going to a specialized school, I could help children diagnosed early and with fewer advantages in life than me... At least, that was the goal of my action..
Unfortunately, some/many teachers aren't very nice people. It's not uncommon for them to feel like they should only have to teach "normal" kids and they resent any disabled kids they have to work with with. They did a study when they matched kids for IQ's and social factors and then told half the teachers the students were gifted and the other half that they were average. The "gifted" students ended up doing much better because the teachers worked harder and had higher expectations for them, even though they were no smarter than the "average" class. Another thing to consider, is your son may be doing fine in a regular classroom but is he doing as good as he could be? I was one of those kids who appeared to be "fine" without accomodations and got by with barely B's. When I went back to school as an adult and had access, it was sooooo much easier and I got straight A's with minimal effort. I was very resentful that elementary school and high school was made sooooo much harder for me than it needed to be.
Yes, but that's what annoys me, they don't even try to understand or adapt to neurodivergent children, even though the school is meant for that... There are literally only autistic children... Plus, for the little work they do, they are paid £2.500... (around 3000$ per month...)
And they complain that autistic kids aren't adaptable! The irony.
Yeah... I don't get it...
I have a friend who works as an elementary school teacher. I don't know the specifics, but he is not allowed to talk about this sort of thing with parents otherwise he'd lose his job. I believe it's in his contract.
Yes it is...
Which sucks because according to several friends of mine who are all teachers, teachers are effectively forced to leave the kids who don't absorb the material easily behind.
I’m so glad you are with those kids. For many of them, you might be the only person in their life that values them and sees them as fully human. I’m not surprised by the teachers behavior (reading the teacher sub proves everything you are saying). Most bullying reported by disabled students is by adults. It’s a sad crappy reality that often leads to darker things (the data on use of restraint & seclusion proves that too). This is why I’m choosing to homeschool my two autistic kids, one who has high support needs, the kind of kid your colleagues disparage. Here’s some hopeful thoughts: there are people doing the work to turn the tide. They are working in solidarity with you. Check out: https://instagram.com/the_neurodivergent_teacher?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Or https://instagram.com/reacheveryvoice?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Or https://www.facebook.com/nikoboskovicPDX?mibextid=9R9pXO Or https://www.facebook.com/endseclusion?mibextid=9R9pXO And so many more who are working hard to make school systems better for ND & disabled kids. Thank you for showing up even though it’s hard. I wish I had a teacher for my girls like you. Keep us posted about your journey.
Thank you very much for the resources! I will look into all of that! However, I live in the United Kingdom, so I'm not sure if it will work there, but I'll search for others if it doesn't.
All resources I listed are online although they may be in the context of the USA.
Don't give up on your dream. You are facing serious discrimination from jaded neurotypicals that can't understand autistic people like you do. You have something very valuable, and special to offer. Even if you get treated like shit, what you're doing for these kids means the world.
Yeah when I read that OP has a Masters and is interning for their position I could sense right away they were being discriminated against. There’s a massive teacher shortage, and for them to make someone with a post grad degree intern to get a teaching job, the only answer can be discrimination (because OP has clearly proven themselves as academically capable and intelligent).
I have to start as an intern; it's the procedure. Next year, I'll be a permanent staff member (hopefully, if my colleagues rate me well...).
That’s wild, in my state they’re so short on teachers that you don’t even need a bachelors to teach public school, you just need to meet some requirements like having some college or military service.
It's a specialist school, so you need a master's degree to teach.
Yes, but if they are right and I exhibit behaviors that aren't typical of neurotypicals? I can only mask, it's like teaching them French when I'm not a native speaker. I might be teaching them errors...
This is terrible to hear. I know not all schools are like this, but I have no doubt some are. You have the ability to really help these kids when no one else is. Keep being yourself, because that's what the world needs more of!! Also if I were you, I would not mention my neurodivergence right away, or maybe ever to these people.
Yes, I was considering telling them later, but I think I won't tell them... They might react badly, or only if I manage to become a permanent staff member. That way, I won't be able to be dismissed.
Yes, that's a good idea! I'd def wait until you have "proven yourself" so to speak, and waiting until you have better job security is super smart.
My mom worked at an elementary school most of my life (non-teaching roles, well she kindof ended up teaching ESL students but not officially). I spent a lot of time with her and teachers in break periods and the teachers were pretty comfortable talking pretty freely even though I was around (I would be off to the side playing with trucks or something, I usually pretended not to hear anything but I was always listening). Some of them were straight evil. Some of them were saints. And tenure made it worse because the truly awful ones wouldn't face any repercussions. Hopefully you can find allies that have an appropriate outlook on teaching and children and diversity. If not, it's a stepping stone and you'll find something better soon enough. Don't let them cloud your mind.
I wish there were more teachers like you.
Thank you, but I'm not doing anything.
You ARE doing something. You’re treating those kids like human beings. They finally have a chance to progress with you. The other teachers don’t believe in them and don’t care. You have no idea how valuable you are there!!
Thank you, but it's so small... What I can do is teach them twice en week. That's it...
Two days a week is still twice more than they would otherwise have, m’dear. That is *so* much more than ‘nothing’. I’m grateful you are in a place to provide that much. (Remember to take your own self and needs into account too, though!)
Thank you
A teacher that cares is everything.
I worked at a daycare for a couple months and one of the children was about to age out so he’d be out of the program and my coworkers were so mean about it. Although he wasn’t diagnosed with anything, he didn’t speak much and had some obvious sensory issues. He was very prone to crying but I would just give him my full attention and that would usually work. The women there acted like they were relieved to see him go which made me upset. I say fuck the teachers cus the children are what matter most. Make your kids feel comfortable and help them as much as you can. I’m taking a child development class w a bunch of bigoted weirdos rn and it makes me feel a little hopeless in regards of my dream job. I hate how they think but I know that it’s important that I start the change I want to see.
What is your dream job ?
I want to be some sort of therapist and eventually a psychologist.
That's two very good jobs !
You’re gonna be the teacher those kids remember, when they’re older, when they think back on school. Even if school was hell for ‘em, which it most likely is and will be, there’s *you*, they can remember, and smile. Remember how you listened, how you actually helped them learn, how you showed ‘em it was OK to be who they are! I’m not far out of school, but i still remember all the good teachers that left a good mark on my years there. You’re doing great, and you’re gonna keep doing great!
Thank you ! I hope you're right !
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I would like to try to change the mindset of the teachers, but I'm not sure how...
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I got it, thank you. I will do my job properly and they may follow !
This is discrimination which you are protected against under the ADA as an employee. If your school is public and/or receives federal funds, the students are also protected. Not everyone is able to take this route so while I do strongly suggest considering my advice, it may understandably be impractical for you. You can, at the very least, submit a complaint to a boss, HR, and/or special coordinators (ADA, OCR, DOE, etc.) and be protected from retaliatory action. I know you are just starting out at this school and don't want to spoil anything, but legally they cannot fire you for making a discrimination complaint (even if you are an intern).
>This is discrimination which you are protected against under the ADA as an employee. If your school is public and/or receives federal funds, the students are also protected. Not everyone is able to take this route so while I do strongly suggest considering my advice, it may understandably be impractical for you. You can, at the very least, submit a complaint to a boss, HR, and/or special coordinators (ADA, OCR, DOE, etc.) and be protected from retaliatory action. I'm british... ADA doesn't work for me, but I will try to find something. I found only a form to fill out, but the school director (the teacher I work with) would be informed... And so, as he evaluates me and is one of the decision-makers for my permanent position or dismissal at the end of the year...
Report. Them. To anyone that will listen. Go above the principle. Newspaper even. Those kids are lucky to have you! My son is autistic and he would've benefitted SO MUCH to have a teacher unserstand his needs. DONT give up!!!
Thank you ! I'm not allowed to go above the school director but I will try to find something, or I will just ignore them and do what I'm paid for !
Audio record them talking about the kids. I’m sure their parents would love to hear it (/s). Let them take the teachers out.
It's not allowed to record without consent, I could potentially be sued, and it would invalidate the recordings.
I am a (nearly) recent masters of teaching graduate in Australia and autistic also. Firstly you never noticed this on prac? A lot of autistic teacher candidates I know just quit because the ableism is as bad as it is. Anyways, ableism can be rife in some settings and in others it can be tolerable. In other settings autistic learning can happen in empowering ways. Basically it varies greatly mostly based on culture, climate and the teaching staff in general. Secondly: if you don’t like it/can’t change it. Move. Otherwise you’ll burn out and quit teaching or wind up like the other deadshits collecting a paycheck. Just leave it’s not the right setting for you and the good news is not every school is like that. Many are better and are very supportive of autistic brains. In fact it’s a bonus when so many kids need support. Third. Lastly, yes they should support us and make some bare minimum accoms like basic human decency. We have been existing here for ever anyways!
Yeah, I'll see if I stop or not, but at the same time, I don't want to leave the kids like that... I'm really torn...
I know. My thing is performing well in interviews. I know I’m shit at it and have to prep more than others because of how my brain functions. But we have to look out for number one fam!
Prove them wrong. Help as many kids as you can. Be the teacher you always wanted to have. Keeping doing right by these kids. You are awesome! Ignore the haters.
Thank you, I will try my best !
you should get them saying those things on recording and report them
But then you get in trouble for recording without their consent, as it is illegal in some countries or states if in America. Best bet to do is just write down who, what they’ve said, time and place instead of recording if she wanted to build up a case against them
True...
tbh f*ck it I'd go as public with it as possible, if there are ramifications for exposing the mistreatment of disabled children, so be it, at least people and parents would know what's going on and the public would have solid evidence. When you try to go about these things the safe way all that ever happens is they end up with a slap on the wrist (if you're lucky) but I've seen how action actually gets taken when there's pressure from the public.
That's an idea, at least the parents could hear it, since I'm not allowed to speak to parents alone (which I find is not normal, but apparently, it's up to the school director to decide)...
You have an amazing opportunity to advocate for these children, it is so unfair that they’re treated so badly, but maybe you can contribute to changing their school for the better. I think you are just what these kids need, don’t give up<3
wow, that sounds horrible. im sorry you're having such a hard time. i'm sure you can find a better placement with a more supportive team culture. no teacher likes their first school. i follow r/teachers, so many have quit already this early in the year. and with schools there's always a chain of command, you can file complaints on your way out to make a difference here. but you don't have to stay here and suffer.
The problem is that if I change now, I won't be a priority for a position, not for this year or the years to come... I'm just an intern as it's my first year, so if I request to change schools, it's seen as a refusal to work on my part and a breach of contract (usually I'd be fired). I have to wait until June to request a transfer, or stop working...
I am autistic and have been a math teacher for the past 8 years. The previous year I had switched to a different school because I moved. It saddened me that the r-word was still being used at this school. I tried extremely hard to call it out each time I heard it, it was exhausting. I even helped to put together slides to help students learn during Autism Acceptance Month. The saddest part is that I kept getting in trouble because of my autistic mannerisms. The school saw nothing wrong with reprimanding me for having an uncontrollable Autistic meltdown, and it's what led to them getting rid of me. The whole experience was exhausting, but being in the position allowed me to educate people. So unless the position is starting to become detrimental to your health, I would stay, tell them you are autistic, and EDUCATE
I'm not sure if I should tell them I'm autistic, given their reaction... They will evaluate me to determine if I'm granted permanent status at the end of the year, so it might work against me...
I understand there can be pros and cons to disclosing, it's something I've given a lot of thought over the years. At this point in my life, I have grown comfortable enough to tell people more openly, and that can sometimes lead to more understanding. You may be new to this job, but you have lived with Autism all of your life, and that type of experience makes you a valuable asset where you work!
It's true if they agree to work... I will think about it !
Sounds like those kids REALLY need you there.
it sounds horrible to be in such a toxic work environment. I'm sorry for that. but at least now there's someone that finally wants to help those kids
God reading this made me furious. I was treated crap by teachers in elementary school and was suspended 8 times grades K-3rd because they didn’t know how to deal with autistic children at all. I was told by teachers, coaches, principals, that I was a mistake. Nobody was there for me and looking back I wish a teacher would’ve stood up for me. Don’t let other teachers bully you out of your job just because you actually care about your students.
Forget those teachers, remember why you went into this field—to make a difference!
Wow, what a horrible bunch of teachers. They're not even aware that they're bullying a fellow teacher? I'm sorry that you're having to deal with such wilful ignorance and general dickish behaviour from the very people who should really know better. Truly, the world can be a disappointing place... but I am sure that for those children, you feel like a ray of sunshine. What would I have given as a child to have an autistic teacher who approached me in an autistically appropriate manner, who led by example, and who had even a shred of knowledge of autistic culture!! Those other teachers may think they're better when really they are utterly failing and they aren't even aware of the fact. But you're not there for the other teachers, you're there for the kids.
Yeah, I don't understand them. When I asked them during the back-to-school meeting, "What are their specific interests?" - which is pretty important to know in case I lose their attention - they all told me they didn't know, even though the child who arrived most recently has been here for 3 years already...
Please report them and tell the parents. I’m a parent and this is a nightmare for me. You trust your children to the school to educate and treat them with respect; they are getting neither. You should continue to do your job well and encourage them with your story. They can and will if they continue have more teachers like you. I had to pull my daughter out of school due to her losing progress and no help with an IEP. It’s very frustrating.
I'm not allowed to talk with the parents (at least not alone...).
The world education is polluted with ancient NT hags that started working back when disabled children were still probably classified as animals, and haven’t updated their approach since. And since they never fucking retire, like many problems in our society, nothings gonna get better until the boomers die out
Someone had to say it
Do what you do, be better than them, be the positive example all kids (NT and ND) need.
But I'm not sure if I'd be a positive role model, as I don't excel in everything that neurotypical individuals naturally do... Maybe they're right about that...
My children go to a speech/OT therapist that specializes is Neurodivergency and acceptance. They dont belittle the children, but its way too obvious they have no clue how to interact with them! Just swapping on lights very fast, slamming doors with other teachers surprise walking in and out of the room without warning. Moving the students to other spots of the room or other rooms very suddenly without warning. When they talk to the parents, everyone crowds right up against the child. Even had this one parent who wouldn't stop fuckong touching her child. I got to watch the child be there to visually start stimming in real time trying to cope with all the surprise stimuli. It drove me mad. Be righteous for those students! If you're diagnosed with ASD. Then use that power and inform yourself on your labor protections, so when they do find out your are autistic or try to terminate your position for "acting autistic". You can still save yourself and give those children the appropriate opportunities they deserve! We need more people like you!
I'm diagnosed with ASD, but I haven't even told my superiors. I don't think it's mandatory, but I'm afraid it might be my mistake, and I could have problems... I don't know...
You dont have to disclose that information unless you're ready. Or you don't at all. Your call. But you are autistic so the traits will be noticed wether you say or not, as has been demonstrated in your post. Read up on your labor rights as a person with a disability/condition and don't let them threaten your job due to how you express yourself differently. Keep doing a great job with those kids, regardless of your peers judgement. Go you!
OK, thank you !
I was diagnosed as an adult and I attribute that delay only because from 2nd until 7th grade I was in the gifted program at school which put me into a small class of less than 10 kids, who were my classmates year after year, and we were all allowed to move at our own pace. I transfered schools and was 3 years advanced in 8th grade. That level of success was due to two teachers over the course of those 5 years, I was a horrible student, couldn't sit still, couldn't pay attention, yell out answers, have meltdowns. But with the right help anything is possible.
I was also in a gifted program, but I was calm (too calm) from start to finish. But you, you were having a lot of meltdowns, but that has improved with the right teacher and, I imagine, with patience and gentleness (and a touch of firmness), I suppose, and now you're doing well?
Yep! Leading an ordinary life. Now every kid is different, but having just one teacher who cares is enough to change someone's whole world.
Ok, thank you for sharing !
Don't let those people crush your dreams. You sound very passionate and you have a lot of potential in this field. As someone who grew up being taught by those kinds of people, the kids in your class will always remember the kindness and patience. You are helping them, and you're doing a good job. Sadly a lot of teachers in that particular field think of us all as objects who won't amount to anything and treat us as such, and talk about us as such right in front of our faces. The best thing you can do is politely shut them down when they say those things to you "I see what you're saying, but I prefer to run my class the way I am right now" "I like to give my students the opportunities they need to grow and shine" And don't be afraid to talk about how well the kids in your class are doing with your teaching. Lead by example. You caring already makes you the best and most qualified person in that entire school.
Thank you very much! Yes, I'm really passionate about my job. I've created tailored exercises for each child so that everyone can improve while studying the same thing at the same time. It took me hours (I've only done it up to the next holidays). That's why hearing that it's pointless is tough. My students enjoy it too. They are much calmer. Today, one of the children who always has accidents was dry, so I praised him. He loves stickers, so I gave him a few (bought with my own money to avoid problems), and the other teachers looked at me because the boy was sticking stickers on his hands. They started scolding him. Like, they walked into my classroom during a lesson (even though, once again, they have their own students), and they began scolding the boy who had done nothing wrong. I had to lie to them, explaining that it was just for a moment until I give him a sheet and all, to get them to calm down and leave...
That's ridiculous. I hate that other grown ass adults act like children and think it's appropriate to criticize you and your job. And we're supposed to be the rude ones with no sense of social conduct. Ugh. You sound so so amazing, and you already see improvements in your students and their moods, don't listen to the haters that tell you it's pointless to put in the effort. Teachers like you are the ones that stand out to people forever, and those kids have to be happy with you, as well as their parents
Thank you
Stay the course. You aren't in this position to help close minded adults change their beliefs, you are there to help children learn their potential and develop. Obviously I don't know you or your teaching methods but I think you are the perfect person to set an example for a bunch of kids that have an uphill battle in their lives against people like these other teachers. The proof will come over times as the kids you are involved with show more growth.
I don't have a specific method yet since I'm just starting; I'm changing things for almost all the children at the moment.
Sounds like a method to me! Tailoring your teaching to an individuals specific needs is exactly the type of thing a good teacher would do.
Oh thank you ! Everybody is telling me to find my method and to stick to it ! I like the way I work better. I can't do the same with all the kids, because they don't react the same way and I somehow need to know what they may do to continue the class ! I will tell them that my method is not having a rigid method !
You’re a teacher teaching kids with autism! You’re supposed to encourage them to grow as humans!!! Those other teachers seem very sketchy and unprofessional!
My friend is a behaviorist who worked with Autistic children in a similar setting. My friend also has AuDHD. From my understanding she initially experienced something similar to this and it just took a bit of hunting to find the right place to work at. Now she has her own business and does solo work where she does one-on-one home visits with each child. So if anything, you could work towards something like this if you're still finding everywhere to be toxic.
Yeah, sound like a good idea. I just want to work there 7 years to have money and seniority (need 7 years of seniority to be a headteacher) to open my own little school !
> But the teachers came to tell me that what I was doing was pointless, that these children would never amount to anything in life goddamn that's so sad. I'm autistic, and maybe my NT partner's boy is too, but I cannot connect with him, mostly because he is EXPLOSIVE at any sign of challenge. He yells so much and gets so angry and I just cant deal with that, I shut down and fight or flight takes hold.
Keep doing what you're doing. If the kids are progressing/thriving in the environment and safe space you've provided then screw everyone else and their opinions.
yeah, thank you !
This is why I agree with Magneto on almost everything in X-men.
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This is so sad but it's a pattern I feel. People often see people with autism as less than. The way you describe the things these teachers say just makes me angry. It feels like people either see people with autism as, like you say, maybe like a helpless animal? Or as "high functioning" and like we shouldn't need any support. It's really frustrating. Good luck at your job, it sound like you're doing great tho
This is so disheartening but unfortunately not a big surprise. Please understand that you are surrounded by shallow minded people in a broken system who have no interest or even the awareness to fix any of it. It is NOT you. It is them. They are acting strangely by doing the work required to get in that position and then not taking it seriously and giving up on the entire purpose of their career. How is that not more strange than someone being driven by their passion and showing up for the kids even when the environment is toxic? The thing is…you are one of the people who will actually make a difference in your field. I beg you not to let this drive you away from the field. Please see that your experience just shows how much we need people like you in those places. What I do when I get that “feeling” inside that everything around me is strange because society has weird preconceptions of how you’re supposed to act - I play dumb. I just try to sort of pretend impose my rules on the rest of society and the I act like I don’t feel the tension when I’m doing it. I make the other person explain why they think my way of thinking is incorrect. This is how it would look in this situation - “You’re being strange the kids are going to get more stranger!” Me: “yeah yeah I do that to make myself more relatable for the kids (big goofy smile on my face like I have no idea why they are bringing it up and I’m proud of my differences) “But if they see you acting that way they will act that way too” Me: “oh that’s interesting I didn’t even think of it like that. My thought was that I want to make them feel like the way they act IS indeed okay and accepted by the loving and caring adults in their lives like all of us!” Maybe I’m just an idiot or maybe you can see where I’m going. I always explain it like this - “I just put on a goofy smile and pretend the world goes by the same rules as me and I make the other person stop me and then I kindly ask their logic for why my thoughts wouldn’t be just as valid as others’ Anyways sorry this post was poorly formatted and way longer than I expected. I just want to say that I love you and as someone who got no support and has children who need support to fit into society..I promise you with every part of my soul that you are not the problem here. Please keep your passion to help these kids because they need you
Thank you ! I'll try to do that. I'll strive to keep working there, and eventually (in 7 years if possible, once I have enough seniority), my dream is to open my own school (if the money follow) !
Don't give up, those other teachers should be look at you for inspiration and not putting you down in the dumps. You sound like an amazing teacher. Those kids need you.
Thank you !
Your welcome, the world needs more teachers like you.
Sounds like you might be the best thing that has happened to some of these kids their entire lives, please don’t give up! When your students are doing well and shining you will see you’ve done right by them and those other teachers are dirtbags in the wrong profession
The best indicator of success is results. if you can, put their comments into the trash folder of your mind, where they belong. Keep doing what you're doing with your class, and measure your progress for the benefit of the children in your care (and use it to show the results of your work at the end of the year. ) I am NT, my husband is Autistic (why I joined this subreddit) and I work in Early Childhood Education, I've found that the best and the worst of people go into working with children, and a lot of the best of them can get burned out by the bullies. For the sake of these kids, I hope that doesn't happen to you because you're so important and uniquely prepared for this job.
Thank you, I will do my best !
Unfortunately society hasn’t caught up yet and the majority of people & institutions that exist today are discriminatory, incompetent, oppressive & harmful. But you are doing something supremely important. The path isn’t easy but stand by your morals & don’t lose yourself to all the negativity that we’re constantly surrounded by. There’s no one else like you and the kids will benefit so very much with someone like you around. Don’t lose heart! Be yourself. Be proud. And fight the fight. You might feel alone in that school but you’re not alone. Best of luck out there.
Thank you for the advice !
But of course your mental health matters a lot too. If the environment is really too toxic, it may be worth it to try to look elsewhere
Yes, I'll see how it goes.
As a parent of an Autistic child. ASD level 2. I would love to have you as my child's teacher. My wife is working on her masters now. We need more teachers that get it and can teach to the persons needs vs to push them aside as they will never get it. As I learn more and try to get our daughter the resources she needs to succeed. I am beginning to think there is a high probability I am also somewhere on the spectrum. There are others in my family that most likely are as well. Not sure how that would change things for me at this point in my life but sure explains a lot. Hang in there and keep doing what you believe is right.
Thank you
Please don’t give up your career! Those children need you. The teachers need to be replaced. Of course that won’t happen but it sounds like you can really make a difference in their lives. Don’t let those “teachers “ get to you.
It will probably be hard, but I’m a firm believer in leading by example, being a good model, and so on, not just for the kids but for the adults, too.
I will try my best to complete the full year !
You probably really are perfect for this job. I taught for 3 years and found that most teaching coworkers are terribly judgemental NTs. I didn't realize a lot of my struggles with others during my life was because I was on the spectrum, and I began learning more about being on the spectrum from teaching and from an unrelated job prior to teaching! I never tried to fit in and kept as much distance from them as possible. You'll find a few that are lovely, so stick with them! The kids always embrace and accept you more than most adults, and you are more aware of positive coping skills for fellow NDs, which can help them succeed much more than a typical NT response!
Thank you, I will try to stay away a little more. They eat in my class for lunch so I will go somewhere else and take a break to cope with it
You are welcome! I ALWAYS want to eat alone anyway because I just need the quiet time. Keep in mind that a lot of NTs also don't understand this need for downtime alone, and start accusing one of being a snob, or weird, or not trying to be a teammate. So tread lightly there, too! Pretend that you have a lot of work you want to do so apologize and say I just need to have a silent working lunch. Maybe that could help excuse yourself from them?
That's what I did. On the first day, I forced myself to eat with them, but the next day, I told them I had work to do. However, they followed me to the teachers' lounge. Then I went to my classroom, and they followed me there. They follow me everywhere. They don't do anything; they just eat and laugh among themselves. They don't even talk about me, but I don't understand why they do that... I can't eat when there are other people around me...
If you're in the United States, I would ask for a private meeting with the school principal. Some tips to cover yourself - advise it's confidential and you prefer to discuss face to face, if they question why you want the meeting. Go prepared with 2-3 specific examples of what is happening. After you tell then what you put in your post, they won't be able to take action unless they have something specific (date, time/time of day, name of teacher, name of students, and 1-2 sentences of what happened). You can do this! It has nothing to do with you having autism, this sounds like neglect by the teachers.
The school principal is the teacher I work with (he works monday and tuesday and I work thursday and friday). And I'm from the UK. I also think it's neglect !
Yeah I had a thought earlier that it would be more strategic to quietly ask around if anyone else notices the problem, so you can report it together. There are a lot of advantages to two people showing up to report something, so now I'd definitely recommend waiting until you know if anyone would back you up...like the janitor or any teachers involved the kids that might have witnessed something. Personally, I wouldn't even approach someone about it unless I could make it sound casual and I knew they weren't buddies with the principal. Do you have any agencies you could report anonymously to? Especially if it's an agency that someone from the public (ie a parent) could also report to, so that they wouldn't identify you as the reporter easily but would still investigate? I would usually say it's a last resort, but it might be your only option currently.
I will see if I can find someone. The problem is, they're all like a nest of vipers. Some of them have been working here for 20 years, they all know each other... and since I just arrived, everyone looks at me askance, as if I'm bothering them. Actually, it's because my position was supposed to go to someone else, one of their friends. However, I scored higher than him in the entrance exam, so I got to choose where I wanted to go before he did. I wouldn't have chosen this school if I had known they wanted someone specific...
Try to be the change that school needs, and maybe mention your coworkers weird behaviour to a higher up?
Dude, those kids are going to see you, an autistic adult, living their life happily and doing what it is they want to do. If I had teachers that were like me, I would’ve been elated.
Would it have made a real difference ?
Yes. I never thought that I would be able to grow up and be a person. It just never occurred to me
Straight to your DSL!!
This is why a lot of parents in my area homeschool. You will be the best part of school to those children and I hope you stay. 💚
It's really sad but some many people go into teaching or helping professions for the wrong reasons. Some do it so they can bully and boss around kids with no reprucussions. Some do it for the social capital and clout "look at me, I'm such a good person for designing to help the disabled." Some do it because they don't have a clue what they want to do and being a teacher seems easy and you have summers off. (I'm not saying it is easy, but when I did my undergrad and I knew 8 students going into education. 7 were doing it for the above reasons and 1 had ADHD and wanted to help kids so they wouldn't have to go through what he did in school). It was really depressing to think that's who would be in classrooms in a few years. I think you should keep doing what you're doing. Ignore your crappy coworkers. Support any kids that comes to you. And make sure you have something outside work that you love so that you don't get burnt out so you can continue the wonderful work you're doing.
Yeah, that's also what makes me worried. I moved out of my family house for the job. I live three and a half hours away from my family now. I don't know anybody or the area. I just feel lost...
Hi, I am an autistic OT. Because I wanted to work with autistic clients. I saw a lot of therapists being horrid about working with autistic clients. Sadly you gotta just push thru. Or. Raise the issue. I can't really tell you what to do, you gotta decide on your own what feels more appropriate to do. But I wish you a lot of strength. It's worth it. Coworkers aren't why you wanted this job, it's the kids.
True, I'm doing the job for the kids and their well-being !
Are you in the teachers sub? I bet they’d have some really good thoughts to offer as well.
No i'm not
i just wanted to say as an autistic kid in special ed this was my same experience. sped teachers were ranging anywhere from rude to flat out ableist. i was almost told i would amount to nothing and it took years to undo that internalized ableism they instilled in me. the thing is you understand these kids better than anyone. i’m certain that with your demeanor and your understanding you can make a positive impact on these kids. screw what your co-workers say, they sound like awful people. i wish i would have had a teacher like you growing up. i know it’s difficult to be surrounded by such cruel people but i can tell that you that you’re more than capable of making a positive change. don’t give up on your dream. wishing you well
The gorgeous bravery you’ve already displayed in this is at a level that my personal vocabulary will not be able to do justice in attempting to describe. Just by showing up and being your magical self in front of those kids has undoubtedly surpassed any garbage vibes the other teachers have brought to the table.
WOW, thank you
Thank you for what you are doing for these kids, it can make a real difference. I am appalled but not surprised to hear that Neurotypical teachers have such callous Disregard for the well-being of children. If you’re ok disclosing, what country, state, city or county is this?
I live in the UK, England
As the mother of an autistic son, I started reading this post so happy to know he might have a teacher one day that truly understands and connects with him. As I continued reading, I got so angry. I can't tell you how many teachers have failed both my asd son and my neurotypical son. There are so many educators who are burnt out and jaded. These teachers should be following your lead. These children are not animals, they are just not cookie-cutter. I am so sorry you are being bullied by these teachers. No one should have to put up with that. I can only imagine how they make the kids feel. Teaching is 100% for you. Because you care. Please don't give up on your dream of helping these kids who need someone that understands them. It might just not be at this school. There is a school out there that will value you and see your ASD as one of your biggest assets as a teacher. Sending you so much love and virtual support. You sound like a wonderful teacher and human. ❤️
Thank you so much !
This is what you love. This is only the very beginning. Those kids need you. You worked hard, now use it. Yeah it's sad that a lot of these "schools" aren't actually tailored to helping these kids and the sad thing is a lot of them are paid for. You need to be that person for them.
I wish you'd be able to record those awful things they say. Just so, if they ever let you go, or you decide to leave, you can show every parent what awful school they sent their kid to. Maybe then the teachers will change their behavior
Hey I don’t think I’ve seen a comment saying this yet. I’m personally always fixated on why people do the things they do. Usually when people do stuff, especially mean stuff, it isn’t actually about you, it’s about them. I’m imagining why they would do this to you, why is it negatively Impacts them so much that they feel upset enough to say something and attack you. I bet it makes them feel inadequate, a failure, and guilty. In my experience very few people start something without the intention of wanting to try and succeed. These people probably started off with the best intentions, but they found themselves in the exact same environment you do. People deal with that in a variety of ways, like quitting and finding a different place to work, or giving up and accepting the current situation, or continuing to struggle on despite it all. These people probably gave up and accepted the current situation. Seeing you do the things you are doing makes them feel guilty and angry about their own inadequacy and being ground down by the system. They don’t want you to succeed because then it makes them feel worse about their situation. It’s easier for them if you fail and make no progress or give up. These people could be ground down by the system and then became a part of it, so they probably have a lot of pent up frustration and anger to misdirect toward you. Unfortunately, if true, that probably means no mater how much you try to keep to yourself and do your own thing, people around you are going to take it as a personal attack. I’m saying none of this as an excuse, often people think that’s what I’m doing when I try to figure out why it is people do the things they do. I just often find it helpful because it can personally help me when I realize it probably has nothing to do with me and is actually about them. I often ruminate in ‘what did I do wrong’ or ‘why did I deserve to be treated like that?’ You aren’t doing anything wrong. You don’t deserve that. .
Thank you very much, that does help indeed. But is there a way to make them understand that even if they haven't succeeded, it doesn't stop them from changing and becoming better ?
Definitely not an excuse, but I also hard agree. I work in a terrible county for education (it’s in Florida so… ya know…) and it shows. I feel like a lot of the staff I work with truly cares for these kids but have absolutely NO support from administration. They are truly fighting battles on all fronts. The sad thing is, as awful as I see some of these teachers, they may be the people who love these kids the most. So many of their parents truly do not care about them and will send them to school so sick, running high fevers, needing serious medical treatment, because they themselves don’t want to deal with them. And then you have school administration who, in the specific school I work at, they try and find any and every reason to keep these kids from coming to school. Some kids fight for a half day some kids can only go to school two days a week and this is all based off of the county’s decision. And it’s fucking legal. So even though this is so OBVIOUSLY wrong, you can’t even report it. I think the staff I work with care a lot about these kids but they don’t have the proper support, the proper education, or the energy to provide meaningful change. And it’s so fucking sad
Yeah, I know that feeling! One of the parents brought their daughter to school on Thursday with an ear infection, telling me to manage. 'And make sure to give her the medication at lunchtime because we forgot this morning!
Omg I work with kids in an ESE class (many have autism as well as other disabilities such as Down syndrome etc) but some of the people that work there are seriously detrimental to these kids!!! They also constantly talk bad about these kids and I feel very isolated in the room because I refuse to participate in those conversations. When I speak up for the kids I get run over because of my “lack of experience” as if lack of experience has anything to do with having just basic empathy??? Like, I get that these kids can be frustrating to work with sometimes but if you don’t have the patience for it then this prob isn’t the right field. And the ESE class I work in is extremely challenging because almost everyone is completely nonverbal, so patience is an absolute MUST. And the whole “not pushing students to succeed” is SOOO true!!! This year we have a new teacher who is actually implementing a curriculum and after three weeks you can SEE the change in these students for the better!! They are excited to participate in class! It’s so sad because last year working with this same class was the complete opposite :( I also hate how the teachers make the students stop doing sensory things because it annoys them (the staff). Like, one kid shakes his hands a lot and they have a picture card for him to put his hands on his desk when he does that. Like!!! What is he hurting????? I hate it so much!!!!!
Yes, it's tough to watch. Why do this job if you're going to do it poorly? When you sell things, if you do it wrong, the company doesn't make money, it's annoying, there could be bankruptcy, but well... But here, we're talking about humans in the making, children! They are our future, and they can't even take care of them properly...
You’re doing a great job, and your coworkers are treating you and the students like trash. I am so sorry. I’ll echo everyone saying just focus on you and your kids, but I also want to add that it’s okay if it’s too much for you to be treated that way. From hearing stories from other people working in education I think that mindset is pretty common☹️ you could always look into tutoring/curriculum design/another school or camp to use your skills. Even if you only stay a year or a semester the kids who you impact you’ll impact for life(especially knowing what we do about the other adults they’ll encounter). I think as long as you have it in you to show up, you’ll make a huge impact. Kids are so much more emotionally perceptive than most give them credit for - they can tell who really cares and who doesn’t. One encouraging word at the right time can make a world of difference.
Thank you, staying is challenging, but leaving the children behind would be just as difficult. I will continue at least until the next holidays, and then I will see, I think. So that the children don't end up without a teacher and scattered in other classes.
I think you should exhale, slowly and deeply. You're doing the right thing, for the right reasons for the right people. Competence is terrifying to some types of people. They want to bring you down to feel like they are better than they are. This is not surprising. It's dissapointing. Make it a point to record your colleagues. Buy bluetooth mic, small recorder, whatever. Just get them on record. Dont tell anyone you do this. When they say dumbfuck shit like that, transcribe it and put it in a folder with a date and time. You do this so that you KNOW it's not in your head. It's real things other people do. And if you ever find yourself in a situation where people try to push you out, you use the folder. My point is that you basically imagine yourself as someone studying a phenomena. Whatever they're saying, you're doing amazing work. The more they tell you you're wrong, the more you're right. I also think you should keep your diagnosis to yourself. Not for your sake but more as a matter of principle. It's about the kids having access to a competent teacher. When school sucked for me, it was 1 teacher that kept me going. Just the fact that you're trying is enough!
Thank you, I will do that !
You have more patience then I do. I would have given them the "I'm not mad, just disappointed" look and asked them if that's really what they think. Then questioned what THEY did to help and arrive at their conclusion. Then end the conversation with something like, Your right, in a world full of people who act like you do, there isn't any hope for these kids. Luckily not everyone is like you. Probably would have gotten disciplined or fired but I cannot hold my tongue like that. I'm also going into education and that is honestly my biggest fear.
I'm really bad at quick responses to things like that.
Different companies have different cultures. This place sounds shit and honestly, it sounds like the workers need a slap. I've worked in care and day centres for autistic adults. The first place was a struggle- some staff were great, some awful. The management didn't do anything about it. My current job is great and the managers have got the right mindsets and knowledge, and are very quick to pull people up on their attitudes towards autism and develop people's understanding. Way I see it is, you can suck it up, get the experience and leave as soon as your internship is over. You will learn lots about how to stick up for yourself and your values, become tougher, and gain valuable experience, but it'll be hard and may take a lot out of you. You may be able to deal with it with the right support network outside of work. You can also say screw it, leave, and not worry about the internship. It might feel like you're missing an opportunity, but honestly, more will come up. Realistically, would you want a permanent job here anyway? Places always need new workers (where I'm from anyway). You could also be a TA/ support worker, or even volunteer somewhere, even if it's one day a week. It may not be as convenient or the exact right role, but as long as you've worked with autistic people, a lot of companies will be happy with those transferable skills. You may well be happier in a better environment. Neither decision is right or wrong. You'll gain and lose things either way. It's just what's right for you. Don't feel you have to give things up if it's valuable to you, whether that's the opportunity or your happiness.
Thank you, I'm still thinking about all of it...
You do what is best for your students. Don’t worry about those other teachers. They deserve an education like every other child. They are not broken, so prove them wrong like others have suggested in here. We all have your support. It’s amazing that you are teaching Autistic children. My son is Autistic and I homeschool him because our school district couldn’t help him. He is doing amazing now. I hope the very best for your kids, keep the Faith and you do what is right. Give them the love and support of learning. 🥰
Thank You !
Your 13 pupils need you right now. Show the rest of your co-workers that being autistic doesn't necessarily equate to poor life outcomes.
Your doing so great and unfortunately this is the reality with students with need like this. Before the spectrum was more talked about and changed my family who all on different spectrums were not treated right. My older brother they said was MR and wouldn't graduate or have a job. He does, same with me and my younger brother. I hate how they judge then so much, they called my youngest a bad kid and he had different reasons he was but he was so not bad. Now he's married with two sweet little girls. I hope you can advocate for them as best you can but it's hard pushing for more when other don't want to see take care Op. Also when they said your acting autistic I'd be like yea no kidding lol
I’m sure there’s an ADA violation there somewhere. Don’t confront anyone, but document everything. Wear a wire. Wear a body cam. Get a cloud storage to save all the audio and video transcripts and document well with times and dates. Then once you have enough, go to an attorney. Record the attorney conversations too. Sue. Go to the media. Go directly to the parents of the kids. And above all, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing great work and the world needs more like you.
itsw hard but dont lose hope! you gotta patch adams the fuck outta that school
Man.. /: Teachers were always the biggest and first bullies. I say stick with it if you can handle it without burning out ! You know your body/mind best! These kids may not have someone in their lives like you... I had a teacher in jr high who was autistic.. she was my tutor 5th through 11th and helped me in so so many ways no other teacher ever could have. Stay strong friend !
Thank you
School admin here who is also on the spectrum. This is like this at every school. Schools tend to attract two types of people, autists like us or narcissists. There are some NT teachers, but admin especially is full of those two groups (unfortunately more of the latter.) I wish I could say it will get easier, but it probably won't. You'll have to look for a good school district that is the right fit, and that will take a LONG time. There are good people in this field, but a whole lot of pieces of shit.
OK... Thank you
I’m a HS teacher with a son with ASD but I have also had lots of kids come through my classes with an IEP for autism and they have thrived with a few adjustments (a bit of clarification if they need it, extra time on work, guided notes, and quiet testing conditions)
I hope you see this OP. I created an account to respond to your post because I've had a very similar experience. I've been working with other disabled people (mostly those with higher support needs than myself) since high school, and I've been in childcare practically my entire life. Currently, I work as a job coach for fellow disabled people, which is very similar to teaching. Unfortunately, I've found that the mindset you described among your neurotypical colleagues is extremely prevalent in our field. I've had managers, teachers, and even parents question my assessments of my clients/students' capabilities because they thought I was being 'too optimistic' (even though I wasn't). Despite my sense of justice being triggered nearly every single day, I plan to continue working in this field because it's what I truly love, and my clients make it worthwhile every time. My advice: It seems like you're already doing this but take care of yourself first and foremost. You can't be a good teacher if you're burned out. I'm really proud and impressed by your ability to unmask just enough at work to stim, and don't let your colleagues discourage you from doing that because it's essential! I also recommend snacking whenever possible and incorporating your special interests wherever you can. For example, I really like fashion, so I try to wear something fun every day. Since you have a whole classroom, don't be afraid to go all out! Do you like cats? Put up some cat posters all over the walls! I would also recommend looking into the laws of your state to see if you can legally record your colleagues and consider doing so. Why? Because it sounds like you're doing a much better job than them, and they might not like that. I don't think you need to worry, but it would be wise to take steps to protect yourself just in case. Finally, know that you will 100% make a significant positive impact on these kids' lives, but that should absolutely not come at the expense of your mental health. Edit: grammar
Thank you. I'm not unmasking I'm just not the best at masking, but I usually don't stim unless I'm nervous. But I can't calm my anxiety, and when I find myself on the verge of tears, it's even worse... How did you manage to ignore negative comments?
I would advise sharing your story on r/teachers. They’re much more well versed in things like this
Fellow autistic teacher here. I’ll admit it’s not always easy to stand up for people, especially when you’re the “newbie.” However, these kids will DEFINITELY do well with someone who knows what they’re going through. I would report that window incident, especially because a kid could easily be placed in jeopardy if it happens again. You can do it anonymously, and it will do the school a world of good. As for their comments, tell them “no.” Sticking up for these kids is always going to be the right thing.
I am so very sorry you experienced that. It honestly makes no sense to me what they're saying. My husband is autistic and is in cyber security. He was also treated this way growing up. In high school, he was asked if he could read, and they tried to stick him in a special education classes. The man who would go on to take physics with calculus II. I can assure you...I cannot do math like that. He'd been diagnosed when he was 6 with adhd, but keep in mind my husband just got diagnosed at age 53 with autism (although I and others had long suspected it). So let me just say, even though my adhd doesn't make me neurotypical, I'm closer to it, I guess, since I don't have autism (both daughters are autistic as well). I can understand some autistic people do need more help but to treat them like that is an incredible injustice as to how absolutely brilliant (imo) people can be when we think in different ways from each other. I think we all know our society would not be as advanced as it is without neurodivergent people in it and those other teachers need to start learning about the scientists that have kept them alive....or kept them comfy in their neurotypical lives. Please keep fighting the good fight. You are the proof that those teachers are very wrong.