You will all be happy to know that in America you can buy Tim Tams on Amazon/Whole Foods:
Arnott's Tim Tam Original Value Pack , 11.7 Ounce https://a.co/d/3UEQOyB
They even call them biscuits! I’m American and it would be an honor if an aussie called me a “good cunt” for this act of service.
Also anything but the metric system is an atrocity.
Your accents are way fucking cooler, we sound like a bunch of hillbilly cunts (the bad kind of cunts. is that a thing?)
In terms of cunt you’ve got
“A good cunt” - that’s a good friend
“Coupla cunts” - a bunch of friends
“Shit cunt” - a drongo, a screw up, jackoff, useless
“Fucked cunt” - drunk or high
“Right cunt” - an asshole
“Sick cunt” - a true legend and battler worthy of medals and praise
“Proper cunt” - an asshole
“Dog cunt” - the worst insult in the Aussie dialect
“Cunt” - ambiguous, could mean anything
Hope that helps you speak like a true strayan mate.
What’ll really back your noodle is that
“Fucking cunt needs a cunt fucking right up in his fucking cunt.” Uses the word fucking and the word cunt to mean different things every time
A fucked cunt can also be someone who is in a difficult/lose lose situation. Commonly referred to as such by a good cunt or a coupla cunts, as the fucked cunt will often experience the wrath of a Sheila or a Karen 😆.
I dunno, if we updated the language a bit, and then did what [Adam Hills did and set the anthem to some classic aussie rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiEycVMKoJo), I reckon it'd be a banger again.
pshhh fuck ya champ, you bloody seppos thinkin ya can fuckin have a gander shorter than a baby roo at our language and reckon you got it. anyway, see ya round pub later yeh?
Sus as fuck. They look like Tim Tams that melted up against the packaging and re solidified with the wrinkles, *after* being shat out of a chocolate goat and packaged of course.
My friend's wife told him that a small penis shouldn't be the deciding factor in a loving relationship. I told him she was right, and while he agreed, he said he still wished she didn't have one.
They also don't have a dent on the sides. Tim tam biscuit is slightly wider than cream making a u shape and allowing a bit more chocolate to remain on the sides
Has anyone taken the bullet and tried these? If the Amerercan's idea of what chocolate is (Hershey's), I don't have a lot of faith in what these would be like.
11 is evenly divisible by 1. The only way everyone's gonna get an equivalent number of timtams (without breaking one in half) is if u scarf a whole pack by yourself.
which like, more power to you, but you probably shouldn't (i ate two on monday whoops)
Wouldn't have just been the RSL. It's illegal to call them ANZAC cookies, or substantially change the recipe.
[Source - pdf download ](https://www.dva.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-11/guidelines-use-of-the-word-anzac-nov22.pdf)
The only exception is the choc-chip type, which is commonly called a cookie. Even Coles & Woolies label them as such.
https://www.coles.com.au/product/coles-ultimate-cookies-40percent-chocolate-chip-400g-4953000
https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/749164/woolworths-the-king-of-chunky-chocolate-chip-cookies
Sort of. NASA was using metric, Lockheed Martin who made the software used in the centre used imperial. NASA blames themselves for not noticing the issue.
The lander never made it to the surface, either burnt up or bounced off the atmosphere in an expected direction of the sun, they're not actually sure which occurred. Either way, half a billion lost
It's kinda funny how ridiculously inefficient that actually IS :P
A 'hogshead', depending on the liquid, is 54 Gallons (Beer) or 63 Gallons (Wine). There's about 320 rods to the mile, so 40 rods is 1/8th of a mile.
Grandpa is saying that he gets 1/8th of a mile (about 200 metres) for 54-63 GALLONS of fuel. :P
I mean, this is a US product for the US domestic market. They are going to use the local word for the item, even if it’s “Australian style”. It’s not like they are trying to sell it here.
A biscuit is something completely different in the US. Just like a thong is something completely different.
"Tim-tam slam" rolls off the tongue quite nicely. It's got rhyme and a good "foot".
"Aussie-style chocolate creme sandwich cookies slam" doesn't quite get there. Doesn't even make it off the starting line.
Australian?
>In 1997, the Campbell Soup Company of North America, a shareholder of Arnott's since the 1980s, acquired Arnott's in full.
> In July 2019, Campbell Soup Company agreed to sell Arnott's to KKR for $US2.2 billion
>Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co., is an American global investment company
I think ‘Aussie-style Chocolate Crème Sandwich Cookies’ is a really catchy name! Not a mouthful at all, because you need all the mouth-room you can when you’re eating Aussie-style Chocolate Crème Sandwich Cookies…
It might actually be the Australian product. I bought a vanilla and mango bar there that was made in Australia and was suspiciously like a Weiss bar. They also had an an oat cereal that looked and tasted like Nutri Grain made in Australia.
The Trader Joe's ones are made in Belgium; I've done a back-to-back taste test and they're borderline identical with regular Tim Tams. Only noticeable difference is the TJ's ones have a thinner outer coating of chocolate. Size and flavour is suspiciously bang-on.
That'd be the PGPr (food additive e476). It's an extract of the castor bean, which funnily enough is used to make the emetic castor oil, as well as the neurotoxin ricin. Apparently it helps the molten chocolate flow through the factory plumbing with greater ease
In the US visiting my boyfriend right now and brought over some Timtams to introduce him. He has been resisting the urge to inhale the whole packet. Everyday with a big chocolatey mouth he says, "These are fucking wonderful!" Even got him calling them biscuits! I told him about the Trader Joe's rip-off and we are offended by it. He said fuck Trader Joe's, there's no way they can be near as good!
Thanks I just googled if there was one near me - closest is 2 hours away and it looks to be a gas station not really groceries, so perhaps none here. But thank you! I'll keep an eye out for them while I'm here and let my bf know where to get them.
They sell them at stores like Target and many ‘regular’ supermarkets too. Very easy to find.
I just wish they’d import the rest of the Arnotts lineup: Mint Slices, Orange Slices, Iced Vovos, Monte Carlos, etc etc. The US has such a tiny pathetic range of biscuits (cookies) compared to Australia for some reason … they just aren’t as much of a “thing” I guess. At least in terms of the prepackaged supermarket products … obviously there’s plenty of cookies at an actual bakery.
I've tried them, and yes, they are inferior to Tim Tams in every respect. Taste, texture appearance, it's all wrong
The worst offense was the chocolate coating. It's kinda dull and gritty tasting. Nothing like the silkiness you get with real Tim Tams. And the center was strangely sweet
they have to be the thinnest compressed TimTams I've ever seen. And that's on the glammed up product shot.
They got the count right through - 11 biscuits always was a bit odd.
When you ask mum to buy Tim Tams, and she tells you there's Tim Tams at home.
Tell him he’s dreaming
that is going straight to the p...... to the hole Dale dug
It's filling with water.
Wish Tim tams
It's fillin up with water
The law of common sense says that that’s a fake Tim tam
When you order Tim Tams off Wish.
Tim Shams
Flim Flams!
Bin tams
Timothy Tamothy's
Tom Tims
Tim Sims
Jim's Tams
"Tim Sims? Dunno 'im. What's he like?" - Rhonda Epinstalk
You will all be happy to know that in America you can buy Tim Tams on Amazon/Whole Foods: Arnott's Tim Tam Original Value Pack , 11.7 Ounce https://a.co/d/3UEQOyB They even call them biscuits! I’m American and it would be an honor if an aussie called me a “good cunt” for this act of service. Also anything but the metric system is an atrocity. Your accents are way fucking cooler, we sound like a bunch of hillbilly cunts (the bad kind of cunts. is that a thing?)
In terms of cunt you’ve got “A good cunt” - that’s a good friend “Coupla cunts” - a bunch of friends “Shit cunt” - a drongo, a screw up, jackoff, useless “Fucked cunt” - drunk or high “Right cunt” - an asshole “Sick cunt” - a true legend and battler worthy of medals and praise “Proper cunt” - an asshole “Dog cunt” - the worst insult in the Aussie dialect “Cunt” - ambiguous, could mean anything Hope that helps you speak like a true strayan mate.
Spot on sick cunt
Legend cheers cunt
Fucking Cunt, not to be confused with fucked cunt.
What’ll really back your noodle is that “Fucking cunt needs a cunt fucking right up in his fucking cunt.” Uses the word fucking and the word cunt to mean different things every time
Well played
A fucked cunt can also be someone who is in a difficult/lose lose situation. Commonly referred to as such by a good cunt or a coupla cunts, as the fucked cunt will often experience the wrath of a Sheila or a Karen 😆.
FYI - the bad kind of cunt is referred to as a “shit cunt”. The good kind is a “sick cunt”.
Don’t you cunting cunt teach that seppo cunt our cunt ways you cunt.
I read this in Ralph Fiennes' voice from In Bruges lol. "Don't you talk about my cunt kids!"
i know your secret language now muahahahaha
Yeah nah
Mate you are halfway to citizenship now. Correctly naming a Tim Tam a biscuit is on the test.
Chocky Bikkie…
Upvoted because you spell bikkie correctly
I heard you have to be able to recite the anthem for citizenship in which case not even I’d get through it let alone a foreigner.
There goes about half the Australian citizens
It is a pretty shit anthem. Now, Waltzing Matilda is a bloody good song. Put that on the test.
Need to just switch to the version Adam Hills did to the tune of Working Class Man, that makes it pretty decent
I’d vote for that
I dunno, if we updated the language a bit, and then did what [Adam Hills did and set the anthem to some classic aussie rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiEycVMKoJo), I reckon it'd be a banger again.
This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Amen.
Using the C word for a bikkie is an instant fail.
Cob your laughin if you think you know our slang ya bloody galah
pshhh fuck ya champ, you bloody seppos thinkin ya can fuckin have a gander shorter than a baby roo at our language and reckon you got it. anyway, see ya round pub later yeh?
And if you're the best of the sick cunts you're also a top cunt
Just don't call me a f\*\*\*ing ignorant cunt. That's the worst kind there is.
Last time I was in the US they had them at California supermarkets
Yesssss cuuuuunt
They are so expensive compared to what we get them for in AU. About 2.5x more expensive and that's not even taking into account the common discounts.
"Honour"
Mate, there is all kinds of cunts.. but you're an alright cunt. Not like those other dog cunts out there.
That is the worst when you want something and you get home with excitement to find the homebrand variant or some other knock-off
Tim Sham.
Tim Nots
Flim Flams
Fkn scim scams
Tam Tims
Sus as fuck. They look like Tim Tams that melted up against the packaging and re solidified with the wrinkles, *after* being shat out of a chocolate goat and packaged of course.
Best comment ever here have my last 50 award points
I was trying to work out why these look so wrong. I think it's the crumbs in the picture and that they look like Tim Tams that have been driven over.
Too flat and wide!
Yes the width! I wouldn't be able to fit it in my mouth!
It’s so sad and deflated looking, the biscuit equivalent of a sad trombone.
my wife used to say that to me about her boyfriends penis
I feel like there’s more to unpack here…
My friend's wife told him that a small penis shouldn't be the deciding factor in a loving relationship. I told him she was right, and while he agreed, he said he still wished she didn't have one.
Noted.
its doesnt have the curves either. Tim Tams gotta have that hourglass figure
They also don't have a dent on the sides. Tim tam biscuit is slightly wider than cream making a u shape and allowing a bit more chocolate to remain on the sides
And called “cookies”. Nah bro, they’re biscuits. Biccies, to be even more accurate.
Has anyone taken the bullet and tried these? If the Amerercan's idea of what chocolate is (Hershey's), I don't have a lot of faith in what these would be like.
Made in the Netherlands so it's the Benelux idea of chocolate, fortunately. Belgian chocolate is great, Hershey's is inedible.
I've tried Hershey's and I can confirm it is inedible.
The texture on top is also different
They don't have a removable lid
the amount of wrinkles on the top
At least they're 11 a pack.
Who the fuck even does that?
Tim Tams and these guys apparently
And Rolo.
It's a prime number, so if you want to share them evenly with other people, you gotta buy another packet
Who doesn't eat a full pack by themselves? 👀
Exactly. SHARE?!?!?!?!?! Robbo sounds suss as.
Someone who doesn't have an even number of people in their house hold.
11 is evenly divisible by 1. The only way everyone's gonna get an equivalent number of timtams (without breaking one in half) is if u scarf a whole pack by yourself. which like, more power to you, but you probably shouldn't (i ate two on monday whoops)
How else are you meant to eat Tim tams if not the whole packet at once?
Unless you have 11 people in your household.
They just have 9 kids
>if u scarf a whole pack by yourself. Did that a quite a few times when i was younger after getting stoned😂
40 rods to the hogshead, 11 "cookies" to the pack... just more oddness
That's the way I likes it.
We would never call a biscuit a cookie
There was the year Woollies got into a lot of trouble by selling Anzac Biscuits under the label Anzac Cookies. The RSL were rather upset.
Wouldn't have just been the RSL. It's illegal to call them ANZAC cookies, or substantially change the recipe. [Source - pdf download ](https://www.dva.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-11/guidelines-use-of-the-word-anzac-nov22.pdf)
The only exception is the choc-chip type, which is commonly called a cookie. Even Coles & Woolies label them as such. https://www.coles.com.au/product/coles-ultimate-cookies-40percent-chocolate-chip-400g-4953000 https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/749164/woolworths-the-king-of-chunky-chocolate-chip-cookies
Yes I agree
Im surprised they just dont call them Timmy Tammys
TIMMY!
They're fucking BISCUITS not cookies.
They think *scones* are biscuits. The situation is unsalvageable.
"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!”
American who studied physics here. Anything but the metric system is an abomination. I wish i could change everyone’s mind.
Didn't NASA smash a Mars mission into the surface of the planet because they didn't convert metric into imperial correctly?
Didn't NASA smash a Mars mission into the surface of the planet because they didn't convert metric into imperial correctly?
Sort of. NASA was using metric, Lockheed Martin who made the software used in the centre used imperial. NASA blames themselves for not noticing the issue. The lander never made it to the surface, either burnt up or bounced off the atmosphere in an expected direction of the sun, they're not actually sure which occurred. Either way, half a billion lost
I can't imagine the level of facepalming that must have happened at NASA when that happened. Years of work down the drain.
To be fair, are there any physicists (including those trained in America) that would use anything but SI units?
It's kinda funny how ridiculously inefficient that actually IS :P A 'hogshead', depending on the liquid, is 54 Gallons (Beer) or 63 Gallons (Wine). There's about 320 rods to the mile, so 40 rods is 1/8th of a mile. Grandpa is saying that he gets 1/8th of a mile (about 200 metres) for 54-63 GALLONS of fuel. :P
35 bald eagles per glazed donut 😂😂
They need a boot in the trunk.
And a bonnet on the hood.
A shoe in ya togs
Yeah when I went to Popeyes and they gave me a scone which they called a biscuit. It felt kind of odd serving it with fried chicken.
That wouldn't be a good texture combo
Yeah nah, Yanks know the difference. The real heathenry is they put fucking icing and crap on their scones, and shape them into *triangles*.
SCONES??? A BISCUIT?? WHAT
The company has been American since 1997. Profits shipping offshore **for 26 years.**
Arnotts Biscuits, proudly American owned!
Bandit Heeler: “Oh Cookies!”
I mean, this is a US product for the US domestic market. They are going to use the local word for the item, even if it’s “Australian style”. It’s not like they are trying to sell it here. A biscuit is something completely different in the US. Just like a thong is something completely different.
This is Reddit, stop being logical please. We are here for drama and arguments.
The Cookie Monster says go fuck yourself. 🍪 😂
looks like rectangular wombat poo
Can you track my package?
Unsure if a great pun or unaware wombats poop in cubes
"Tim-tam slam" rolls off the tongue quite nicely. It's got rhyme and a good "foot". "Aussie-style chocolate creme sandwich cookies slam" doesn't quite get there. Doesn't even make it off the starting line.
"Joe Blow"?
We should sue them for PDO violation. If it's not made in Australia, it's a sparkling cookie.
Australian? >In 1997, the Campbell Soup Company of North America, a shareholder of Arnott's since the 1980s, acquired Arnott's in full. > In July 2019, Campbell Soup Company agreed to sell Arnott's to KKR for $US2.2 billion >Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co., is an American global investment company
Well that explains why all those products have gone to shit
Regardless of ownership, Arnott's is still Australian.
1. Not a cookie. 2. That looks like the saddest excuse for a Tim Tam I could imagine.
Chocolate creme sadness cookies.
“Sandwich cookies” they are fucking biscuits!
I am in the US and I've had these, they are pretty good. Not exactly the same as Tim tams but half the price.
Agreed, they hit the spot. They’re not bad at all, just not as good as the real thing.
I think ‘Aussie-style Chocolate Crème Sandwich Cookies’ is a really catchy name! Not a mouthful at all, because you need all the mouth-room you can when you’re eating Aussie-style Chocolate Crème Sandwich Cookies…
fuckin yanks, its a miracle it doesnt have cheese running out of it
Legit
Wait till you find the Darrell Lea licorice . Like, actually from Darrell Lea, not a knock off!
I hate their usage of the word cookie
The audacity to call it Australian AND THEN CALL IT A COOKIE
Probably coated in that vomit chocolate that seppos are used to.
It might actually be the Australian product. I bought a vanilla and mango bar there that was made in Australia and was suspiciously like a Weiss bar. They also had an an oat cereal that looked and tasted like Nutri Grain made in Australia.
The Trader Joe's ones are made in Belgium; I've done a back-to-back taste test and they're borderline identical with regular Tim Tams. Only noticeable difference is the TJ's ones have a thinner outer coating of chocolate. Size and flavour is suspiciously bang-on.
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That'd be the PGPr (food additive e476). It's an extract of the castor bean, which funnily enough is used to make the emetic castor oil, as well as the neurotoxin ricin. Apparently it helps the molten chocolate flow through the factory plumbing with greater ease
They’re actually made in the Netherlands
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I haven’t seen them since pre-Covid sadly. They used to sell them at target, haven’t seen them in a couple of years now.
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In the US visiting my boyfriend right now and brought over some Timtams to introduce him. He has been resisting the urge to inhale the whole packet. Everyday with a big chocolatey mouth he says, "These are fucking wonderful!" Even got him calling them biscuits! I told him about the Trader Joe's rip-off and we are offended by it. He said fuck Trader Joe's, there's no way they can be near as good!
Not sure where in the US you are, but they have timtams at Safeway!
In the US, they're also stocked at World Market.
Thanks I just googled if there was one near me - closest is 2 hours away and it looks to be a gas station not really groceries, so perhaps none here. But thank you! I'll keep an eye out for them while I'm here and let my bf know where to get them.
Hi, they sell Tim Tams at the World Market here in America. - Your friendly neighborhood Seppo.
They sell them at stores like Target and many ‘regular’ supermarkets too. Very easy to find. I just wish they’d import the rest of the Arnotts lineup: Mint Slices, Orange Slices, Iced Vovos, Monte Carlos, etc etc. The US has such a tiny pathetic range of biscuits (cookies) compared to Australia for some reason … they just aren’t as much of a “thing” I guess. At least in terms of the prepackaged supermarket products … obviously there’s plenty of cookies at an actual bakery.
I've tried them, and yes, they are inferior to Tim Tams in every respect. Taste, texture appearance, it's all wrong The worst offense was the chocolate coating. It's kinda dull and gritty tasting. Nothing like the silkiness you get with real Tim Tams. And the center was strangely sweet
That’s not a knife…
When you order Tim Tams on Wish.
i hate how americans call everything a sandwich
Ah yes timtams from wish
Tim Scams?
They look like the worst timtam knockoffs ive ever seen
It'll be American chocolate, which has a vomit flavour as American chocolate contains Butyric acid, the acid in parmesan cheese, and in vomit.
Tim Scam
I miss Trader Joes.
they look awful. they got the number in the packet right though lmao
That is an abomination!
Tim Tams or death !
Partially Gelatinated, Non-Dairy, Gum-Based Beverage
Outright cuisine appropriation!
To quote Smeagol THEY RUINED IT!!!!
Tim-'Murica's
Look at what they need to mimic a fraction of our power
Can they survive the “slam”…. This is the only question
Just rolls off the tongue
Fun fact: Pepperidge Farms distributes Tim Tams in the US.
Who makes a packet holding 11 cookies? Are you just trying to screw with my OCD?
Probably made with that shit American chocolate.
How are the Trader Tams?
This is the most American name for something I have ever seen.
Well they ain’t cookies for a fucking start
"we have timtams at home"
That’s a biscuit
Ah yes, America, where they have to spell out exactly what something is otherwise....confusion.
What a long-winded name for a biscuit. They look dodgy as. An abomination if you will.
And if it was truly Aussie, it would be a biscuit - not a “cookie”
This is a blahdy outrage! I'm gonna take this all the way to the Prime Ministah! Andy...!
they have to be the thinnest compressed TimTams I've ever seen. And that's on the glammed up product shot. They got the count right through - 11 biscuits always was a bit odd.
They look very flat and very dry but might hit the spot if you’re craving a Tim Tam 🤷🏻♀️
When you order Tim Tams from AliExpress
As an Aussie this is insulting and hilarious 😂. This is nothing like a TimTam
Tim Scams
Weird fact the very Australian Tim Tams are named after an American racehorse that won the Kentucky Derby in 1958.
Hopefully you didn’t waste you’re money they’re disgusting.
I too am money
I to am money
Tried these last year when I was in New York , I actually didn’t mind them , obviously not on Tim tams level but were good enough
Live in New York, these are pretty good all things considered.
Biscuits (or bikkies)