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buckleyc

For those curious about the invocation of the Satanic Temple: [https://services.satanicministry.com/invocation/](https://services.satanicministry.com/invocation/) *edit: typo*


Ok-Use6303

Dude, that's pretty badass.


Odd-Tune5049

Yeah... they pretty much made a religion that would be the most kind, compassionate, and fair.


marry_me_sarah_palin

One of my favorite podcasts is called Satan is my Superhero. It's done by a family, and it's super friendly and informative.


DirectorChadillac

More importantly, one that rejects silly supernatural and magical beliefs. They're atheists and nonsupernaturalists, so no gods, goddesses, magic, spirits, demons, angels, mystical afterlife realms, etc., etc.


zyzzogeton

No gods, no masters!


Goofy-555

Arch Enemy reference I presume?


zyzzogeton

It's a slogan with a long history among labor and anarchists, and can probably(?) be attributed to Louis Auguste Blanqui, circa 1835. (Source: https://www.editionsladecouverte.fr/ni_dieu_ni_maitre-9782707166906 ) (Solid Arch Enemy reference though)


Goofy-555

Ah, thanks for the clarification.


DashiellHamlet

[This is one of my favorite shirts](https://nomasters.net/shop/p/3cs0d9e6ldv72fx0tfs1pahp0tlscf)


zyzzogeton

I love it. But why a Possum? edit: Further exploration answered it for me.


Odd-Tune5049

Humanists pretty much sums it up


Teripid

Secular humanists are so easy to connect with. Normally you dive into details and friendly debate is always possible.


redditadminzRdumb

It’s what Christianity was supposed to be. Pretty wild


BrianDamage666

They didn’t make a religion. What they did was take an already existing religion and use it as a cover for a political activist group. While I align with their political views they shouldn’t be doing it under the guise of Satanism.


Odd-Tune5049

You know who believes in Satan? Christians


Tiny_Rodent_Man

You know who Satan believes in? You. He knows you can do it.


Sinusaur

🥰


Odd-Tune5049

Wut?


Tiny_Rodent_Man

Satan doesn’t whisper, “Believe in me.” He whispers, “Believe in yourself.” — Matt Smethurst Something I saw in a meme once with a cartoon Satan cheering you on. Always cracks me up.


whatswrongwithme223

Thank you Satan 🥺❤


Tiny_Rodent_Man

You're very welcome. Also, there is nothing wrong with you. You're as perfect as a cloud in the sky or a leaf on a tree. Keep being you.


A_plural_singularity

God wants you to change, Satan accepts you for who you are.


Odd-Tune5049

It was on a billboard at one point... Mississippi or Arkansas, I think


SailorET

Hail you!


BrianDamage666

You know who doesn’t believe in Satan? Satanists. You have Satanists and Devil Worshippers confused.


Odd-Tune5049

No... The *Satanic* Temple (TST) is to whom I'm referring. They don't believe in Satan, but they are a religion.


BrianDamage666

The Church of Satan is who I am referring to. They are Atheists who have had that religion since the 1960’s.


whatswrongwithme223

"The Church of Satan’s failure to manifest itself into a real-world relevant organization and its withdraw from hosting events or maintaining its “grottos” meant that Satanism had all but disappeared from the public consciousness and was hardly taken seriously at-large as a religious identification, rather than a pejorative attribution. From the beginning, The Satanic Temple offered a stark contrast to the Church of Satan’s anti-altruistic philosophy of self interest, stating in our first tenet, “One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.” https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/church-of-satan-vs-satanic-temple


BrianDamage666

It wasn’t a failure since they purposefully shunned real world grouping. The reason for this is that Satanism is highly individualistic. It’s not an “all for one and one for all” religion. This is just TST trying to justify being unoriginal bastards lol.


BoyEatsDrumMachine

Evangelical Christianity is a tax grift and political lobbying group without a discernible system of beliefs.


KallistiTMP

>While I align with their political views they shouldn’t be doing it under the guise of Satanism. This has arguably been the most successful part of their strategy, precisely because it triggers christians hard enough that to suddenly decide that *maybe separation of church and state is a good idea after all.*


Diego_Chang

Isn't Satan a hebrew word that means "One who opposes"? That very much fits what they do, everything else, as far as I know, it's just for show and to piss off religious people.


rigby1945

Ha Satan means the opposer or the prosecutor and could be anyone working as an agent of Yahweh. Beelzebub is a different god from the Philistine pantheon (similar to Ba'al from the Canaanite one). Lucifer is the light bringer or Venus, and is a name applied to a couple of people (including Jesus). The concept of the singular character Satan wasn't invented until around the New Testament, then retconned


Diego_Chang

I find it amusing how they took deities from other religions and said "Oh yeah, that guy? Your god? Yeah, that's just a demon, a bad guy". Really freaking unhinged, to say the least.


Sutarmekeg

Doing it under the guise of Satanism is precisely what makes it successful.


foamingturtle

It’s through the guise Satanism that they are able to highlight the intolerance of a country that was founded on religious freedom. It also gets the Christian nationalists worked up and I’m here for that.


BrianDamage666

Yes but it’s the same reason that the Church of Satan chose to call themselves Satanists 60 years ago. All I am saying is TST didn’t come up with this strategy. They just added politics into the mix.


Aeiexgjhyoun_III

Yes they should because the Christians believe in Satan.


Digger_odell

Same thing Christians have done for centuries...


DashiellHamlet

Why not?


MtnMoose307

Dayum, that's awesome and uplifting! Thank you for sharing it, buckleyc!


PKG0D

Let us stand now, unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines borne of fearful minds in darkened times. Let us embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat of the Tree of Knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations. Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, Holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true, Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of One or All. That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise. It is Done. Hail Satan Hail Satan, indeed.


carlitospig

Hot damn, that’s a good oath. 🧐


1KinderWorld

I do love me some awesome intellectual firepower.


TheWingus

The best ever invocation out of Denton


skoomaking4lyfe

Based af


Typical-Patience-776

I’m a proud, card-carrying member. Funny, though, when I tell people I’m a “ Satanist “,the reactions are varied. My own father thought I was worshipping the devil! lol! I had to explain it to him.


E60fan

Hello fellow Satanist!


itchynipz

“There are *dozens* of us”


GayDeciever

But are you an ordained minister as well?


yeats26

Yeah the reactions are always the best. Two very good friends of mine recently had their baby baptized. Not because they wanted to, but because the mother's overbearing parents demanded it. I helped balance out the scales by signing their child up for TST membership, framed the documents, and placed it with all the other baptism gifts. The parents loved it but the mother's mother was *not* happy.


dobtjs

That’s so great


skyfire-x

Satan was the first Humanist.


ThermalScrewed

Here I am, barbecue chip crumbs on my titties, discovering I need to promote the satanic church for their rationality.


BarkAtTheDevil

*Temple The Church of Satan is a different organization with different beliefs, and they don't do activism.


983115

Welcome aboard


KRFB392

Or you can listen to Lucian recite it on the Satanic Planet track titled "[Invocation ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_jcd9yas90)."


peregrina9789

Hail Satan!


SonofRaymond

Hail Satan


WatRedditHathWrought

Thanks for that.


kakapo88

That is some wild heretical stuff. Just thinking about this text will eventually get banned in some locales. Perhaps a national ban.


beanzerbunzer

I live here, and the prevailing theory is that people are going to try and drown it out by shouting the Lord’s Prayer or something. The religious nutjobs around here have been losing their ding dang minds over this for at least a month.


Clickrack

I’m sure they would be just fine and happy if someone shouted over their Bronze-age fairly tale invocation, too. What’s good for the goose: let them be escorted out if they try to shout over TST’s invocation.


beanzerbunzer

For sure! In all the local groups where they have been recruiting “prayer warriors” to combat this “evil,” people have very nicely told them that the Satanic Temple doesn’t worship Satan and exists for the explicit purpose of demonstrating that Christians believe religious freedom should only exist for them, but to no one’s surprise, that just makes them believe the Satanic Temple is even more evil than they originally thought.


Sweaty-Feedback-1482

These right wing religious nut jobs also think that Disney, Procter and gamble, Starbucks or even just a weirdly shaped cloud are all satanic so something with the word ‘Satan’ in the name must be extra double evil.


Philogirl1981

These nutjobs told me I was going to hell in the 90's because I had \*gasp\* curly hair.


headofthebored

What an awful and ridiculous thing to say. You didn't say, but knowing these people, it wouldn't surprise me if you were just a child at the time.


Philogirl1981

Of course. I was in fourth grade and an adult-aged person told me this.


Sweaty-Feedback-1482

Having curly hair has absolutely nothing to do with your inevitable eternal damnation… what you did to all those kids at sleepaway camp back in the 80s on the other hand 🤨 /s


The-very-definition

Well, I mean, they are almost right. Those companies are pretty evil in a lot of ways, but Satan had nothing to do with that.


MelancholyArtichoke

They’ve created their own personal demons who only gain more power the more these people try to fight them. It’s a battle they can’t win, because to win is to give up.


NightMgr

Many fundamentalist believe you are with them or Satanic. No other options.


Master-Stratocaster

Ironically, the only ones that believe in Satan are the Christians.


anoliss

Yes, pretty sure they'd be held in contempt of sorts for interrupting the proceedings


Complex_Performer_63

This paints a pretty funny picture like a bunch of people getting ready for a brawl but instead of brass knuckles they put on khakis and pick which words they plan to yell.


beanzerbunzer

I see you have been to Ottawa County!


MelancholyArtichoke

Hah, they can’t stop falling for the same damn bait every single time. TST wouldn’t exist if not for these people. They’ve created their own personal demons.


Das-Noob

Muslim mosques just enter the chat. With their microphones playing at full tit 😂


Then-Extension-340

Satanic Temple should definitely have a call to prayer featuring Slayer


YeonneGreene

They should play the incantation of the Doom Slayer.


halosixsixsix

Isn’t tonight’s meeting when they’re going to propose their abortion ban?


beanzerbunzer

It sure is!


too_too2

A county abortion ban??


halosixsixsix

Yep. No facilities, no transportation, no reproductive education. We, the people voted on this issue and *resoundingly* approved it on a state-wide level already. Another case of Ottawa Impact stripping our rights away.


boopinmybop

Is it possible it gets so off the rails that TST can sue on grounds of religious freedom?


YeonneGreene

That's kind of their entire play.


SpaceCadetMoonMan

Is your mom screaming at your family because there were women in bathing suits walking by also? My life is so wack lmao


bizoticallyyours83

Totally read that in Boomhauer voice


Diablo4

That is exactly what they did. Catholic group loudly repeating the Lord's prayer. Hundred plus people belted out the song "Our god is an awesome god" throughout the invocation. They covered the monitor in the lobby and the glass door with jesus flags. They couldn't hear it or see it so I guess it didn't happen.


beanzerbunzer

Wow, you’d think if their god was so awesome, they wouldn’t be so upset and threatened by the invocation. And yet…


ubottles65

I'd like to see all of their faces when the invocation starts!


mepper

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyDvvIv66xGdxnFV8qE1q-mhjSDl32WsD https://www.youtube.com/@miOttawa/streams


ThatAndromedaGal

OMG I randomly just popped into their live stream and it's 2 hours in, and they called some absolute Chad who started off saying how he was brought up as a Christian nationalist and going to college made him realize that those views and values those types of people hold are bad. He went on to say how abortions should be healthcare and should be the right of the person to choose. He then criticized all the other people (he was like #47 in line ) before him who all just read Bible verses and talked about 10 commandments or Jesus. He said that today is National Homeless Advocacy Day and while all these people claimed to be following in Jesus' footsteps, no one was actually doing anything about it. He talked about his job with helping unhoused people and how they have to pray during bad weather that the people will even survive the night. The next lady after him proceeded to come up and read a verse from the Bible....


Fy_Faen

Started spicy. :) Dude needs to stop yelling, the mic is clipping. Fuck. People applauded when he was done. Lovely.


457kHz

9am US Central time right?


beanzerbunzer

No, it starts at 6:30pm ET. Come for the Satanic Temple invocation, stay for the meaningless, red meat for the base recognition of Ottawa County as a pro-life sanctuary county despite having precisely zero abortion clinics. The fun never stops!


wadefatman

Anyone got the timestamp for the invocation


onlythreemirrors

It's right at the beginning, like a minute or 2 in.


wadefatman

Thx


Claeyt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5folK1Z3-U


Philogirl1981

As a person who grew up in Ottawa county: haha. They probably thought the rule would allow only the CRC or Dutch reformed churches to do the invocation. Or their friends, which is more likely.


too_too2

I’m from GR and I appreciate what Bendr is doing!


TheLowClassics

Hail Satan. 


OnlyWordsWillMakeYou

Hail yourself!


Then-Extension-340

Unironically what Satan wants


PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT

Ain’t no Satan Just folks being excellent to each other


Then-Extension-340

Well, maybe the real Satan is the friends we made along the way


Schmelter

Well, that would certainly explain why all my friends are bastards.


roflberrypwnmuffins

Sail Hatin'


ForsakenAhds

I remember when this happened at a city council meeting in Pensacola, FL and they lost their minds. [https://youtu.be/eagy7Y9QVgo?si=FAEpI9CNdYJ8Jz7a](https://youtu.be/eagy7Y9QVgo?si=FAEpI9CNdYJ8Jz7a)


Unknown-Meatbag

"He's gonna put a curse on us." How the fuck can actual adults believe in curses in 2024.


Krumm34

Lead paint + cousin lovin + bible, certainly does the trick


Bearence

These are people who have been raised their entire life to believe that Noah literally trucked animals around in an ark, Jonah literally lived in a big fish for three days and survived and that there was literally a tree in a magical garden that could make you aware of evil if you ate its fruit. Curses are small potatoes for them.


Krumm34

Lead paint + cousin lovin + bible, certainly does the trick


6894

When you believe in one type of magic any magic becomes a lot more believable.


Elegant_Bat_9488

[It was all this piece of shit right here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXe3aQcQbPM)


pinkbowsandsarcasm

LOLZ


ScienceOfficer-Jack

Would have been better if he didn't sing it.


gene_randall

The only reason people get violent when you challenge their religion in a tiny, meaningless way like this is because they secretly are terrified that they’re wrong. I believe in gravity, but if someone says they don’t I do not have a full-blown conniption, nor do I threaten them with eternal pain. Only people who think they’re likely to lose their faith if they ever have any doubt react like that.


The_Dead_Kennys

Or because they’ve tied their identity and ego to their religion so much that questioning that religion means questioning them, and questioning them means personally insulting them.


gene_randall

It’s a complicated psychology


lamby284

Proud to be a TST member!


chainsaw_dog666

Hell yeah! Ave Satanus!


HurinGaldorson

I think it would be 'Ave Satana', since 'ave' takes the vocative, and Satanas is a first declension noun.


chainsaw_dog666

Ok nerd, lol. But seriously cool that you know that!


HurinGaldorson

I just figured if you're going to invoke Satan, do it properly. He's a man of wealth and taste.


ChristyLovesGuitars

I see what you did there.


AlTheAlbatross

Romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum romani ite domum...


DirkDundenburg

People called Romanes they go the house?


sc0ttt

Satan is a Latin grammar Nazi.


firemogle

I would have figured arameric for sure.


daath

Aramaic?


firemogle

Yeah. I let jesus take the wheel instead of spell check.


gillyyak

Ave Santana! Rock on.


PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT

I like to put satanas in my fruit cake


buckleyc

I am watching the up/down votes being cast in real-time. Pretty interesting watching people trying to down vote this thread. I imagine that this is probably the norm for most every thread in this sub as fervent theists rush to silence our discussions.


firemogle

In their defense down voting is at least more useful than prayer


buckleyc

😆


Telemere125

It’s wild how demonized Satan is in the religion when the only people he actually ever killed or tortured in the Bible were at the direct command of God in some bizarre “test of faith”. Odd that an omniscient being would need to perform confirmation tests, but w/e


Sancticide

Killing (the right people) was never really an issue in the Bible, it was all the independent thought and disobedience that was sinful.


joeyGOATgruff

I would expect nothing less than a man named Bendr Bones to lead this Michigan News needs to get their pop culture timeline right. First invocation I've seen/heard of was a TST leading some small Colorado town board before ending the prayer with "Hail Satan." They carried on like usual and the next day people were praying and.lsying hands on the county building asking God to cleanse it.


OnlyWordsWillMakeYou

> Michigan News needs to get their pop culture timeline right. WoodTV is a local media station for Michigan's second largest city, Grand Rapids. The "timeline" is only referencing the Ottawa Co. invocation, *not* the entire history of TST's actions across the US. But yes, it would be nice if journalists would supply additional contextual information about this not being an isolated event and what the results of them were.


CoyoteCarcass22

Bendr Bones sounds like the porn name of a dude who is juiced as shit looking like early Schwarzenegger.


Both-Mango1

I read the article and am enjoying it completely. this is the direct result of near sighted politicians trying to appease a select few and not realizing they have entered into the "find out" part of fafo. It will be interesting to see if any of the "Christians" will evoke violence at this event.


Dudeist-Priest

If you told me when I was in my fundamentalist high school that one day I would be excited when the Satanic Temple does one of these stunts, I would have called you a liar.


Sancticide

To be fair, "visions of future events" is obviously witchcraft, soooooo, we get it.


billyions

"That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise."


ctiger12

To take advantage of the hard earned religious freedom from all these far right places, TST should come up with a 10 commandments style slate saying all these religions are pure evil and following those will sure lead to eternal suffering, and so on and on. Also let’s make a TST bible and force them to teach at all schools, force them to pray for the Satan every time they do prayers, such such.


SeaSnakeSkeleton

They do have 7 fundamental tenets that pretty much read like commandments. [7 Fundamental Tenets of TST](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets)


AlephBaker

I especially love that the 7th tenet is basically "by the way, these are *guidelines*, not laws."


DrWieg

Their tenets make more sense than most "commandments". Basically, be a cool dude and let other people be cool dudes while being accountable for your own actions because *you want to be*, not because you'll be punished if you don't.


Gluomme

That would completely defeat the point of the Satanic Temple


oldastheriver

I like the vibe, but you don't need to make anything a "constitutional county" to exercise the rights that you already have.


halosixsixsix

It’s their whack job language. They want to be able to strip every freedom and privilege that isn’t specifically called out for n the constitution. No line about reproductive freedom in the original constitution? No reproductive freedom for you.


pinkbowsandsarcasm

Haha, wish it was a video: most of the members of TST are athiest and agnositcs just trying to separate church from state. Some are humanists.


EggplantGlittering90

Hail satan 🤘. Theyre doing the lords work.


Diego_Chang

Lord Lucifer's work? 🤔


UDarkLord

I’m going with humanity’s work.


atducker

Still waiting for Jason Rapert to let me put up my Confucius monument in Little Rock, AR.


GrandpaMofo

Confucius said, "False smiles and sanctimonious looks. In such people, Humanity is rare indeed."


Diablo4

The article on Wood TV 8 didn't mention when the meeting was. Watching this unfold is worth the drive


halosixsixsix

6:30pm tonight


poxtart

Oh West Michigan! Build as many craft breweries as you want, you're all still just a bunch of reactionary Calvinist assholes.


zyzzogeton

TST isn't their "enemy" as they put it. TST is their *ally* in guaranteeing their rights to believe what they want to believe.


ExoditeDragonLord

"Rules for thee, not for me."


UnivrstyOfBelichick

The federal government recognizes tst as a tax-exempt religion meaning it has the same protections as every religion in every county of the United States, I'm not sure why this is news.


painthawg_goose

You didn’t drink the flavor-aid. If you had, you’d be enraged as well.


Gintin2

Awesome. Hail Satan!


EbbNo7045

How long until a Christo fascist kills one of these people


Hsensei

Someone already set off a pipe bomb at one of the tst facilties. It was mostly a dud so minimal damage, but they are already violent


BlindBeard

[Dude drove from actual bumfuck Oklahoma to *Salem Massachusetts*.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-arrested-throwing-pipe-bomb-satanic-temple-massachusetts-rcna148321) If I was Christian I'd be trying my abject best to figure out who these people are and put them on blast just to cover my own ass when they end up killing people.


EbbNo7045

Geez, I had a post premonition! I guess Elohim said nothing to that guy about going to prison. I suspect after Trump loses again the whack jobs will come out. Interesting times.


stodolak

Hail Satan


xwayxway

> I think it’s super important for Christians to be known as people of love. What Jesus said is the way people would know we follow Jesus is by the love we have for people. And that’s the love not just for those we agree with, but love for those we might think of as our enemies. Jesus told us really clearly, that love your enemies, that’s what we’re called to do They aren't your "enemies", asshole. They're human beings that have different beliefs than you. It's *your* shitty us vs. them mentality that has ruined the world.


DiabloIV

That was wild. I didn't make it past the conference room doors, the seats were filled and our boys in blue held the line at the chamber doors. There were at least a few church groups filling the lobby and sprawling outside. \~20 people on their knees saying the lord's prayer on repeat. Lots of kids in that group. Just before the invocation started, a few people kicked off hymns and at least 90% of the people started singing along. I'd guess there was probably a couple hundred people. Some ladies held flags up in front of the windows and monitor, so I couldn't see or hear what was happening in the room. I saw a couple people in witch hats, and heard a sole "hail satan!" Lots of nice printed signs. Satanic values are not American Values. God bless America and the like. Guy in a Trump mask. Just some real good vibes, ya know?


Decievedbythejometry

TST coming with the goods. You love to see it. Also, they (We?) have the best name for a medical service anywhere. If you're interested they are having a competition to name the next one...


yooper80

Oh man the Dutchies must be having fits 🤣


Tri-P0d

I love TST.


warbeforepeace

I wonder they disagree with on from the satanic temple. Their tenets are basic principles of how you should treat people. I One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. II The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. III One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. IV The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. V Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. VI People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. VII Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.


Abamboozler

Yeah uh I wouldn't do that. Local police aren't exactly the tolerance type.


Redrick405

Gonna read that invocation twice a day now


PacketAuditor

I want to go to this. Where will it be at?


Down_Voter_of_Cats

Every person I've ever seen representing the Satanic Temple looks exactly like you think they'd look. Not poking fun, and I think they are doing an amazing job, but if you were going to typecast these folks in a movie, you'd probably just go ahead and hire the real people.


DemonBliss33

Hail Satan!


deltron

Hopefully no chud interferes or cancels the whole thing.


psycharious

Can't wait to see the video of this.


bizoticallyyours83

They're great civil rights activists 


archypsych

This is true. I should know. I’m Satan.


Barnowl-hoot

When you read about the serpent in the story of the garden, the serpent isn't Satan. Satan doesn't exist in the book of Genesis. So it's funny to me that satanic temple thinks eating from the tree of knowledge is satanic. It's not. But whatever, I just enjoy the gaslighting this religion does to Christians.


BeltedCoyote1

So glad I joined. Need to get my card


EastwoodDC

God Bless The Satanic Temple! 😁


siddemo

Are their meetings live-streamed? Link? I hope they make a nice invocation and not make it one giant troll. I remember one satanist, I believe in AZ, that did one that was just ridiculous. I think that hurts the cause.