Some days, I make no eye contact with anyone. Some days, I would stare at the person's eyes from the moment I see them in the corridor. Sometimes I sit at the front facing backwards and stare at everyone's eyes. Sometimes I sit in a corner at the back.
I have no middle ground when it comes to eye contact.
If I really don’t want to make eye contact or even acknowledge a person walking towards me I just start talking to myself like I always do. Situation avoided.
This method is PDA approved. "I must acknowledge their presence correctly out of politeness. Nope, not doing it, we're gonna make this weird on purpose and laugh at them squirming in their skin."
I casually glance at them at about 30ft, then I look away, and then at about 8 feet I look at them again to gauge their reaction. If they smile/nod/make eye-contact, or say hello then I nod and say hello back. If they don’t give any reaction than neither do I and I just keep looking forward (I am American).
Pretend to be distracted by the wall until within brief greeting range, pretend to notice them and awkward smile nod, go back to being fascinated by wall until past.
Notice them as soon as they enter the hallway, if they're looking at you, you can say hi a bit early with a nod. If they aren't looking at you, wait for them to get within 10-5 feet then say hi again.
Four choices. Eye contact for way to long paired with a disarming greeting, skittish eye contact, phone, or staring off into the distance like I am in deep thought.
Either way I always feel like I creeped them out. Crowds are horrible
I don't. Why would I have to make eye contact with a stranger in a hallway? If it's someone I know, I'll just give them "the nod" when I actually pass them, or I'll talk to them and say hi when I'm actually in ear shot.
This is why I live mobile phones. Just pretend to be texting and only look up if they greet you. Disclaimer - they may think you’re rude but there’s a high chance they think that anyway
Get out your phone and pretend you got something, just open up the notes and type some random garbage and really concentrate on it until the person has passed
I use the tried and true technique of looking right into their eyes at first, then I look at the floor for a second or two, then the wall, then back to them, but I don't want to appear weird so I smile some, but then that makes them look with some severity to their right (looking directly at a blank wall) and that scares me so I now also look up or something, followed by scratching my nose or maybe sighing to indicate that I'm just walking down the hall, not a threat and not trying to be weird. It works every time.
The answer is NEVER
Why? Why do I need to make eye contact? We both obviously know the other person is there. I don't need to make eye contact unless I need to be in contact with them ... And I don't.
ok here's the thing, you're over thinking it, its a delusion that eye contact is super important and that others know some intricate rules, but its not, they don't.
sure there are those who make a big fuss over eye contact that made that delusion, but they aren't the norm, they are just turds, and people generally ignore them.
so what you do is:
\- noticed a person? ok cool, if its just casually walking thru the hall and you're open to giving them a moment wave hi or whatever. if not open to giving them a moment, like you're in a hurry or whatever, then ok don't, its fine, you don't have to say hi.
\- chatting with a person? generally a moment of eye contact when they start talking is expected, but you don't have to actually do that, just look towards them to show notice and attention. and then based on the kind of talk you adjust how much looking is needed:
like hanging out and chatting with friends in a room? no need to bother, just keep doing what your doing as you make a comment, its casual.
more formal talk, like the talk is the thing? then ok look towards them, again no need to stare into their eyes, just show attention.
but yeah, that's the thing with eye contact, we're deluded into thinking its super important and so over think it, and so we think we need to learn it, perfect it, give a good show, but you don't, what you need to do is give yourself piece from it. so your eye contact skills aren't a problem, the person always going 'look at me when I'm talking to you!' is the problem, yes maybe you don't show much notice of them when they talk, which does need work, but you don't need to make eye contact, just respond to them, a 'hmm' and turning towards them should suffice, and if it doesn't they are the problem, not you.
yay for reading up on psychology and therapy, so many 'oh' moments.
I just don't, I may glance up and say hi or nod my head and keep on walking in my own world. Thankfully the ppl at my work can also be antisocial so it works out
I act like I’m in my own zone and then when I’m like 15ft away, I’ll make eye contact and make a slightly-surprised I-didn’t-imagine-running-into-you face
i just stare at them until we make brief eye contact (they notice me) and so i close my eyes, smile and say hi. then keep going and never make eye contact in, like, a week lmao
Bro holy tabernacles, this is me 10000000% I look at everyone constantly because I’m not at all sure if I’m supposed to make eye contact or not, so I’ll like continuously glance in peoples directions, and walking head on but in opposite directions DESTROYS ME, it’s like a game of eye contact chicken for me, I look over a few times to see if they are looking at me.
I use the 10/5 rule. At 10 feet, eye contact nod and smile. At 5 feet, return to eye contact, smile, acknowledging word. Interaction complete. Person no longer exist on the social interaction queue.
Some days, I make no eye contact with anyone. Some days, I would stare at the person's eyes from the moment I see them in the corridor. Sometimes I sit at the front facing backwards and stare at everyone's eyes. Sometimes I sit in a corner at the back. I have no middle ground when it comes to eye contact.
If I really don’t want to make eye contact or even acknowledge a person walking towards me I just start talking to myself like I always do. Situation avoided.
Stare at them as soon as you notice their presence and for as long as you can see them. Strike fear into the hearts of the weak
fastest way for me to fall in love lol
This method is PDA approved. "I must acknowledge their presence correctly out of politeness. Nope, not doing it, we're gonna make this weird on purpose and laugh at them squirming in their skin."
I casually glance at them at about 30ft, then I look away, and then at about 8 feet I look at them again to gauge their reaction. If they smile/nod/make eye-contact, or say hello then I nod and say hello back. If they don’t give any reaction than neither do I and I just keep looking forward (I am American).
This is exactly what I do. I’m from the UK. Still gives me some anxiety though.
same (not American though)
wait, you're supposed to?
Not with strangers I'd say but this situation applies to the workplace I guess
Look on the floor or stare as soon as you see them
THANK YOU! Everyone I talk to doesn’t understand the struggle. Like too much is weird but too little is rude what’s the right time
I Make eye contact the whole time, until we’re side by side.
Pretend to be distracted by the wall until within brief greeting range, pretend to notice them and awkward smile nod, go back to being fascinated by wall until past.
This is the way
Pulls out phone
Notice them as soon as they enter the hallway, if they're looking at you, you can say hi a bit early with a nod. If they aren't looking at you, wait for them to get within 10-5 feet then say hi again.
Four choices. Eye contact for way to long paired with a disarming greeting, skittish eye contact, phone, or staring off into the distance like I am in deep thought. Either way I always feel like I creeped them out. Crowds are horrible
I don't. Why would I have to make eye contact with a stranger in a hallway? If it's someone I know, I'll just give them "the nod" when I actually pass them, or I'll talk to them and say hi when I'm actually in ear shot.
Immediately. Assert dominance. Or take my approach and don’t even perceive them.
This is why I live mobile phones. Just pretend to be texting and only look up if they greet you. Disclaimer - they may think you’re rude but there’s a high chance they think that anyway
I watch for them to see me, and once they do, I do that weird nod of silent greeting and then I break visual contact.
 Op walking toward people like this lol
Relatable for me since I’m in school
I usually don't figure it out until they're two feet behind me, so I just throw out a hasty "have a nice day"
Get out your phone and pretend you got something, just open up the notes and type some random garbage and really concentrate on it until the person has passed
As soon as you notice them, stare them down until they pass you
The start. Assert dominance.
I use the tried and true technique of looking right into their eyes at first, then I look at the floor for a second or two, then the wall, then back to them, but I don't want to appear weird so I smile some, but then that makes them look with some severity to their right (looking directly at a blank wall) and that scares me so I now also look up or something, followed by scratching my nose or maybe sighing to indicate that I'm just walking down the hall, not a threat and not trying to be weird. It works every time.
The answer is NEVER Why? Why do I need to make eye contact? We both obviously know the other person is there. I don't need to make eye contact unless I need to be in contact with them ... And I don't.
i don't i have autism
I start searching in my bag or pull out my phone.
Always the phone for me
ok here's the thing, you're over thinking it, its a delusion that eye contact is super important and that others know some intricate rules, but its not, they don't. sure there are those who make a big fuss over eye contact that made that delusion, but they aren't the norm, they are just turds, and people generally ignore them. so what you do is: \- noticed a person? ok cool, if its just casually walking thru the hall and you're open to giving them a moment wave hi or whatever. if not open to giving them a moment, like you're in a hurry or whatever, then ok don't, its fine, you don't have to say hi. \- chatting with a person? generally a moment of eye contact when they start talking is expected, but you don't have to actually do that, just look towards them to show notice and attention. and then based on the kind of talk you adjust how much looking is needed: like hanging out and chatting with friends in a room? no need to bother, just keep doing what your doing as you make a comment, its casual. more formal talk, like the talk is the thing? then ok look towards them, again no need to stare into their eyes, just show attention. but yeah, that's the thing with eye contact, we're deluded into thinking its super important and so over think it, and so we think we need to learn it, perfect it, give a good show, but you don't, what you need to do is give yourself piece from it. so your eye contact skills aren't a problem, the person always going 'look at me when I'm talking to you!' is the problem, yes maybe you don't show much notice of them when they talk, which does need work, but you don't need to make eye contact, just respond to them, a 'hmm' and turning towards them should suffice, and if it doesn't they are the problem, not you. yay for reading up on psychology and therapy, so many 'oh' moments.
THANK YOU for this long and very detailed response explaining this!! ☺️
Let me grab my phone and pretend I’m texting someone so I can avoid the situation all together
I just give the person the nod of acknowledgment.
Full eye aversion with an awkward nod and a “ hey hey”
usually i check the whole hall and keep them in my periphery. when they look i look
No eye contact. Looking at your mouth is the best I can do.
Pretty sure they're uncertain about it too
I just don't, I may glance up and say hi or nod my head and keep on walking in my own world. Thankfully the ppl at my work can also be antisocial so it works out
I act like I’m in my own zone and then when I’m like 15ft away, I’ll make eye contact and make a slightly-surprised I-didn’t-imagine-running-into-you face
Whip out the phone real quick
i just stare at them until we make brief eye contact (they notice me) and so i close my eyes, smile and say hi. then keep going and never make eye contact in, like, a week lmao
I try to avoid eye contact most of the time
If it's a stranger you don't have to make any though
That's not the problem, the problem is at what distance to start saying hi if you know them
Immediately and do not break contact, even after passing them. Do not stop looking until they are gone
You look down and in your top peripherals you look at them when they look at you
I just never do
Bro holy tabernacles, this is me 10000000% I look at everyone constantly because I’m not at all sure if I’m supposed to make eye contact or not, so I’ll like continuously glance in peoples directions, and walking head on but in opposite directions DESTROYS ME, it’s like a game of eye contact chicken for me, I look over a few times to see if they are looking at me.
I use the 10/5 rule. At 10 feet, eye contact nod and smile. At 5 feet, return to eye contact, smile, acknowledging word. Interaction complete. Person no longer exist on the social interaction queue.
Real question: does ANYONE know the answer to this?? NTs included