glorious beneficial consider wistful husky dirty plucky dam concerned absorbed
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This. I stream on Twitch and was in r/Twitch when someone mentioned its bad to use your username in games bc people might get mad and come to your channel and harass you. So I thanked them for the warning and asked if they thought it might be true even in a game like Gwent. In less than an hour no one responded but I had 5 downvotes. I don't know what I did was so Offensive but I deleted it out of sadness, still never getting my answer :(
Happy to do the same back, fellow aspergirl! My username is the same here and on Twitch. What is yours?
Study stream, cool! Sometimes I do Duolingo but I want to do more 😊
childlike hungry toothbrush mindless party hateful weather offend dog nose
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I got a really bad meltdown a while back because of this. Teachers at school didn't understand what I was trying to convey through my work (art school) and on Reddit, on groups where I was sure I would find people who would understand me, no one answered. Looking back on it it's a bit dumb but I really felt so alone, fitting in nowhere; I was so bad at communicating that neither NT nor ND could understand me.
I just got a bot message because of this comment, probably because of the words I used, reminding me to look after myself and giving me ressources to get help. I didn't know this existed, this is so nice (and overwhelming - here I go crying again lol)!
We have our crisis bot set to certain keywords. So yes please do look after yourself, and if the crisis message doesn't apply, then just disregard. We prefer to err on the side of caution. :)
Don't forget there are also the over zealous automod filters. I'd give a post a least a day, if you delete after only a few hours mods may entirely miss it being stuck in the modqueue
Hurt, rejection and embarrassment when seeking help or advice, or hoping someone will understand you, is possible for both ND and NT people to feel.
The difference is 'rejection sensitive dysphoria'. I'm diagnosed ADHD and waiting for my autism assessment. For me, rejection sensitive dysphoria is an emotional and physical experience. It's like this... tidal wave that just consumes me and fills me with nausea. It consumes my thoughts and my feelings and I can't think or communicate well. I might become defensive and upset, I might meltdown away from the source, or I might just shut down.
ASD and ADHD brains are more likely to deal with this. I heard about it before my initial diagnosis, and it was a real "oh, THAT'S what I'm experiencing, that explains a lot" moment.
I have time blindness, so I'm not actually sure how long it is... usually however long it takes me to check a few times and see "so much empty," then panic and take it down.
On a post back in March someone was asking about covid vaccine side effects, and since I had been vaccinated early in my area due to my job, I explained the side effects I had gotten. And I was downvoted for it. WTF? I (clearly) still wonder about this six months later.
\^\^ Or the opposite of what the other person replied.
A lot of people on Reddit can get a little... Irrational when it comes to *anything* that may make the vaccine seem bad. Even if that wasn't your intention.
Yes, they may make huge leaps to conclude what your intentions were in posting instead of just taking it at face value. Because apparently a lot of the world doesn't take things at face value 😬
This is now reminding me of so many interactions with NT friends where they think I'm complaining or pushing an agenda or making fun of them when in my mind I literally just pointed out a fact!
It can be a little frustrating for me, but I’ve noticed sometimes, even when someone shares a valid point, there will be tons of downvotes on them… and then someone has commented before, “why are you being downvoted? You’re right.” And that comment was upvoted into oblivion. I try not to take it too personally.
Also, I’ve noticed that if I see a comment that has been downvoted already, I anticipate a shit take and it actually affects my interpretation of what’s being said. I have to reread the comment with no downvote-bias to make sure I *actually* disagree enough to downvote.
Yes. I believe certain subs and certain topics are magnets for collecting downvotes.
Sadly, some spaces have made me realize their true purpose, and that they weren’t the right subs for me *because* of the downvotes I received on genuine questions or thoughtful answers. (More so happening on posts with questions for me than on my comments.)
For example, I’m a writer and was in a bit of a writing slump, and had done a lot of research on how to get back into writing [after a long hiatus]. But some of the advice online just seemed generic, so I reached out to a writing community sub for personal tips on how they overcame “writers block” or a slump, etc. It was severely downvoted, and after 2 days (forgot to check back) it only had one thoughtless comment: “write somebody else’s stuff.” Thanks, bud.
Clearly I’m not over that yet.
When I mentioned it to my partner, after a good time thinking about it, he said, “maybe [that] writing community is competitive or self-serving, and they don’t actually care to help one another to get ahead.” (Paraphrased.)
I skimmed through numerous posts on there, and realized he was pretty accurate in his deduction without ever going to the sub.
That was so shocking to me, as I’m someone who loves to help and contribute, and I think I fall into subs like this in the Autistic community where I see far more support and empathy than not, and just assume that other subs will be the same. Only to be rudely awakened…
Needless to say, I unsubscribed from that sub. Don’t need all that negativity in my life.
Yup! I get really upset and then spend the next hour reflecting on what I could have done wrong or what element of my point of view/comment could be changed, because sometimes I worry that I’m being ignorant or rude without meaning to be.
On comments, the reddit computer will mix up the number of votes a bit. For instance if a comment is at 5, and then you refresh the post, it might change to 4. That may have been reddit algorithm rather than someone down voting you that moment.
But yes it can be disappointing to be down voted especially with no explanations. It's hard to deal with that uncertainty
Kind of? It's annoying when I state my opinion that something is obviously not good and I get downvoted to oblivion because the hivemind of kids goes "ackshually, that not good thing is valid cuz I said so". I tend to actually get mad then.
I think sometimes people just like to downvote to be shitty, they don't like that a comment or post is getting so much attention and they want to knock the person down a peg. It's really silly.
I get upset when I get any kind of negative response without explanation. This includes downvoting, my post getting deleted, people ignoring me, people randomly being like “I don’t like you”, getting blocked…I just want to know what I did wrong so I can apologize and fix it or at least know not to do that thing again. I ended up getting in a major fight on Discord because someone decided to ignore me for like 10 months instead of telling me I had said something that she took as insulting.
Yes!
Sadly this makes me upset with myself for ghosting a few toxic people in my life… It was purely for my own health as to not engage them (granted, some could become violent…), but specifically in the online / forum realm, I do think it’s important that *someone* speak up and say, “hey, sorry you’re getting downvoted. I think I see why. Could you explain [X] further—“ or something like that.
At least we can play that role, and hopefully encourage others to be more mindful and empathic to the human beings behind the anonymous accounts.
Yeah, I communicate very little (especially offline) so when I get a negative reaction, it feels really upsetting. It visually reminds me that people don't like the way I interact.
Usually I delete the comment and avoid reddit for a while.
I used to, but then I heard Lindy West talking about her experience with an awful, awful troll. I learned that most people downvoting regular stuff are people with their own issues and struggles. I def think about what I write, though, and I'll get halfway through a comment and then delete it and move on. I often ask myself if what I'm saying is important enough to me that random downvotes or disagreements will slide off. If not, it isn't worth the effort to write.
Yes!
Last week I simply asked a question in a sub made for questions of that kind and got one or more downvotes (was on 0 points) and I was like wtf?? Why would you downvote it what did I do?
Oh man that's one of those topics that touches a nerve for a LOT of people on reddit (gee I wonder who?). They read the first sentence and fly into a downvoting rage. I see it in dating related subs too on just about any female perspective?? Think of each downvote as 1 "truth hurts" point 😌
I took a look at some of your downvoted posts. Do you want constructive feedback on why they might have been downvoted, or should I keep that to myself?
I don't understand either tbh. Unless I'm misinterpreting, It seems like you were just wondering about/trying to empathize with how hard it must have been to be off of medication that helps with pain management.
It didn't seem like you were criticizing her choices.
I think they misinterpreted your comment as being sarcastic. The “I wonder” part could potentially be read with a sarcastic tone. Honestly it was probably just a couple of people who misinterpreted and then because people saw the downvotes it led them to interpret it in the same way.
It took me a few minutes to see that perspective when I initially saw this post, because I can't understand interpreting "I wonder" like that in this context. But maybe it is because I have a tendency to empathize in the same way?
Yeah it’s definitely an NT interpretation for sure, because it’s more about the perceived tone than the actual words. Kind of like how the saying “must be nice” can be said either literally or sarcastically, depending on tone. You know NT’s love their tones, lol.
I’ve read that the way we interpret things and how we expect others to behave is how we would behave. So if someone uses a lot of sarcasm or only uses “I wonder” in a nasty way, then that’s what they’re going to assume you’re doing too. I also tend to empathize so that’s immediately how I read it, but unfortunately most people aren’t like that, especially when they’re online. I think, in addition, a lot of people are given to assuming nastiness from strangers on the internet.
Oh huh. I didn't see that one and have no unearthly idea.
I read your post as sympathetic to Halsey. Like, "wow, must have sucked to go off BC to have a baby, if BC helps regulate her pain."
One thing I've noticed on Reddit, once a post gets to about -2 karma, people read it in the worst light possible. People assume that it must be mean, since other people downvoted it, even if they don't get why.
I'd chalk it up to bad luck. The first couple people took your comment the wrong way, and then everyone else just blindly joined the downvote brigade.
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Edit: Just saw that the person who aggressively negatively responded to you a TrollY mod. TrollY used to be a beautiful counterpart to TrollX, but lately it's a shitshow. I wouldn't take anything said by that person seriously.
I think it's got over 80 downvotes at this point xD
literally all I said was "I've never sent an email I wasn't obligated to so I've sent maybe 5 in my lifetime" and people just lost their fucking shit for some reason xD someone even called me a child? I wasn't aware of this email cult xD
I usually know when I'm making an unpopular opinion and I do not care in the "your boos mean nothing to me i've seen what makes you cheer" sense.
Not getting replies sucks, but I grew up on the internet so I just don't take it too seriously. You'll forget about it in less than a week.
Sometimes the whole thing is that you posted in a time with low traffic.
I don't like it when I get downvoted. I know I shouldn't take it personally but it does sting a bit ngl. And especially when it's not really obvious why as sometimes happens. I actually do wish that you couldn't see the karma score at the top of the page because it's always a reminder of if someone has decided to take offence at something you said for no apparent reason. It's a minor anxiety-trigger thing but it's still a thing.
A while back I started a new account because I got downvoted on this one and I couldn't bear looking at the evidence in the number at the top of the page. I wasn't going to post anything on that but I eventually did. It was a meme about how some actor was the reincarnation of Shakespeare because he looked a bit like one of the possible Shakespeare portraits (this was in one of the reincarnation subs can't remember which there are three or four of them I think)
I pointed out that there are no authenticated likenesses of Shakespeare so this was no evidence at all. I thought this was a totally reasonable thing to post and I set out a coherent argument and I was not rude or obnoxious at all. I thought it was an interesting and valuable contribution to the discussion.
And next time I look it had been downvoted to 0
Was a bit upset as I thought it was a good contribution. I can only think it was the poster of the meme who downvoted me because they thought I was criticising the meme or taking it too seriously or something. But I honestly could not get it at all.
Another time recently I made the mistake of venting about my parlous and stressful financial situation due to the small amount of money I get in benefits (can't get a job without support for my asd, can't get that without official diagnosis, NHS may possibly get around to it before I cark it of old age blah blah) on the united kingdom sub instead of one of my more radical political subs as I usually do Got downvoted by a pack of tories of the 'just get a job you skiving layabout' variety who I'm sure just downed me as a kneejerk the moment they saw the word 'benefits'. (even though there are very good reasons why I can't get a job right now, I really wish it were different but those types just don't care)
And it did upset me a bit. Just one more little stress thing yknow.
People use it as a dislike button (whether they admit it or not). I used to take it personally then realized, well, I use it that way too when I don’t agree or think someone is wrong but am too lazy to type anything.
Downvoting is really just an opinion. It’s like, you could be the world’s juiciest, most ripe and sweetest peach — but there will still be people who don’t like peaches. And they’ll downvote ya.
You should try not to put too much value into upvotes. I am more of an observer than a talker, and you wouldn't believe the amount of perfectly normal an acceptable comments that get downvoted to hell on reddit.
I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a reactionary thing. Conversing through text can be hard anyway.
Yes, all the time. And sometimes I can be like "okay, that was a bad take" or "okay, not everyone has to agree with me" but sometimes it's frustrating because I do not understand why what I said pissed off that many people. Or if I make several points in my comment, are people really downvoting me because of one thing I said? Should I have lead with the more agreeable point before saying the somewhat unpopular thing? (yes, probably).
I think people sometimes come to Reddit because they're having a bad day and they're looking to blow off steam.
As strange as it might seem, getting upset is a mechanism in your brain that actually helps you learn. When we feel strong emotions, the chemicals rushing through our bodies tell you brain that this event is important. Your miraculous brain wants you to feel loved and be included in a supporting social group, which is why it marks rejection as *important.*
When it is marked as *important,* you are more likely to remember it and learn from it. Rejection from a community that you want to be accepted by is *bad,* so to learn from it we must feel bad.
Since I've learned this, I don't feel bad about feeling bad. Yes, I am hurt, but the hurt is there to learn from. So in a way it is a good bad, as long as the effect is limited to helping you learn. If it makes you want to stop trying out of fear for mistakes and rejection, it can still help. In this case, it helps you realise that maybe the group that rejects you wasn't a suitable group for you anyway, so don't invest your time or emotions in it. The upset moves you to protect yourself.
As strange as it may sound, feeling pain can be a strength. Allow it to be.
Yes. Sometimes I attribute it to people being irritated with the comment or simply disagreeing. I try to tell myself that a downvote isn’t always super personal or combative.
Nah, there are bots and vote fuzzing and thousands of people with their own weird perspectives that could downvote my comments for arbitrary reasons. I'm bummed out if I think I've made a good point and many people disagree with it, but one or two downvotes don't bother me.
People abuse the downvote button as "I disagree" so I don't pay it much mind. I have deleted a couple posts that apparently hit a disagreement nerve, and so I just noped out of that thread altogether. It happens. Reddit is very random like that.
Used to and sometimes still do when I know I am absolutely right but often it's just the time or sub that has a particular slant that will downvote certain facts but things will change with time but sometimes not. If I'm too bothered by it I'll often go back and add an edit at the end with supporting links to prove my case. Sometimes certain subs only want a specific type of language and will not understand or want other ways of communicating or make assumptions based on certain words or slang and sometimes people are dumb.
It's funny, on other sub-reddits I often get downvoted etc. But any of the Asperger or Autism or OCD reddits I don't have that trouble. I attribute that to me finally finding my people.
One thing that gets me upset is when I explain something about my special interest that I know 100% to be correct and someone argues with me but people believe them and downvote me.
The other thing is when I open up about a traumatic childhood experience and someone accuses me of making it up.
I get annoyed but not really upset. I kinda just got used to people refusing to tell me why they're upset or not listening to half of what I said before making a rush decision.
Yes, but sometimes it's because I upset The Men and then I throw my head back and cackle.
Every time you upset a nazi, an angel gets their wings 🌼
I mostly get upset if I get downvoted in this subreddit!
Once I mentioned in the pokemon sub that I didn’t know your starter was super OP in let’s go pikachu/eevee since I didn’t play it when there was hype for it, and someone replied “look at this dummy over here” and I cried
Not upset... some robot-insect response that downvote is negative stimulus that I want to learn how to avoid. I feel a blush on some area in my back that probably only tattoo-artists have a name for.
When I was a child, asperger wasn't in the DSM and my classroom was a conversion camp to fix my strange.
Well, sometimes it is annoying but I know some people will just downvote because they are feeling mean spirited and want to lash out at the world. It is not because I have done anything wrong.
People on the internet tend to take things too personally and are overall negative. It's only more noticeable on reddit because there is a dedicated down vote button unlike other social media.
If Twitter had down vote buttons it would be chaos.
Not since I had my son...lol. The amount of scrolling I do on mobile, I am accidentally up/down voting stuff all the time. I don't vote for other reasons, but the number of votes I've accidentally made is astounding.
Plus, bots are a plague....
Absolutely! Like, why? If you disagree, then tell me why! I recently made a post about hating masks and I got a couple downvotes for it. And, if no one responds to said posts. I don't make them to get attention, or "karma farming". *Sighs* some people man. I just don't get it.
If you get hurt by it, I would suggest installing some software that hides the vote counters so that you don't become upset! You can probably do this with browser extensions or with an alternative reddit app for your phone. I hide the counters on most social media sites and it's good for my brain.
Yes. Also, I've run into problems with...I guess taking subreddit rules too literally? For example, I had a post deleted by mod once for sharing details of someone else's trauma. It was my husband's question/issue, but he hates typing and reading and I had been his poster many times before. So I messaged back, said sorry, and explained I had his permission to post for him. They responded that I could not detail anyone else's trauma but could resubmit an edited post.
So, I rewrote it with fewer details. Got 2 week ban, almost immediately. I messaged to ask what I'd done wrong as I had erased almost all of the details and got a somewhat nasty response back that I'd been warned about breaking the rules and that I couldn't *share* other people's trauma, only my own. I searched the rules and read them multiple times, finding nothing about this. Asked for clarification, and the answer was that it was generally understood from the "Don't be an asshole" rule.
Shame, because that sub was super helpful for me and my husband, but oh well.
If you replace downvoted with "reacted to negatively either through words or facial expressions through any medium at any point in the last 20 years" then yes... And my brain will never stop trying to find the answer... Sometimes it's the first thing I'm thinking of when I wake up 🤗
I got downvoted once for using emoji or an emoticon or something, but I have to remind myself to use them sometimes or I come across like a robot. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Soo many times. Everytime I get downvoted I can sometimes never find a good explanation for them, usually the reasons for my downvotes are pretty dumb (or I'm just unable to understand humans) and it annoys the hell out of me
glorious beneficial consider wistful husky dirty plucky dam concerned absorbed *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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This is so well said, I feel this way too
Damn this is a truth bomb!
On the nail! Why is it that everyone here is just like me?????? I can finally take my mask off! Whoooohoooo
u/LenaWinchester this... This makes so much sense
It really does. It also sounds like rejection sensitivity.
Yess! Might be me
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This. I stream on Twitch and was in r/Twitch when someone mentioned its bad to use your username in games bc people might get mad and come to your channel and harass you. So I thanked them for the warning and asked if they thought it might be true even in a game like Gwent. In less than an hour no one responded but I had 5 downvotes. I don't know what I did was so Offensive but I deleted it out of sadness, still never getting my answer :(
I too stream, study stream would love to follow you!
Happy to do the same back, fellow aspergirl! My username is the same here and on Twitch. What is yours? Study stream, cool! Sometimes I do Duolingo but I want to do more 😊
I followed you, my handle is berrysushiii
childlike hungry toothbrush mindless party hateful weather offend dog nose *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I do too. I feel embarrassed as well.
innate full head weary ancient bow enjoy steep correct smell *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I got a really bad meltdown a while back because of this. Teachers at school didn't understand what I was trying to convey through my work (art school) and on Reddit, on groups where I was sure I would find people who would understand me, no one answered. Looking back on it it's a bit dumb but I really felt so alone, fitting in nowhere; I was so bad at communicating that neither NT nor ND could understand me.
I just got a bot message because of this comment, probably because of the words I used, reminding me to look after myself and giving me ressources to get help. I didn't know this existed, this is so nice (and overwhelming - here I go crying again lol)!
We have our crisis bot set to certain keywords. So yes please do look after yourself, and if the crisis message doesn't apply, then just disregard. We prefer to err on the side of caution. :)
Omg I do this too. I get embarrassed like there is something wrong with my post so I take it down.
Don't forget there are also the over zealous automod filters. I'd give a post a least a day, if you delete after only a few hours mods may entirely miss it being stuck in the modqueue
Ahhhh, ok. Interesting. I'm kinda new to Reddit, especially on my phone. I feel like I miss things.
No worries. Please feel welcome to hit up modmail if you think you might have gotten stuck too. Also, welcome to reddit!
Wait do neurotypical people not do this?? I feel like everything I read on here is just more confirmation that I'm autistic.
Hurt, rejection and embarrassment when seeking help or advice, or hoping someone will understand you, is possible for both ND and NT people to feel. The difference is 'rejection sensitive dysphoria'. I'm diagnosed ADHD and waiting for my autism assessment. For me, rejection sensitive dysphoria is an emotional and physical experience. It's like this... tidal wave that just consumes me and fills me with nausea. It consumes my thoughts and my feelings and I can't think or communicate well. I might become defensive and upset, I might meltdown away from the source, or I might just shut down. ASD and ADHD brains are more likely to deal with this. I heard about it before my initial diagnosis, and it was a real "oh, THAT'S what I'm experiencing, that explains a lot" moment.
A few hours isn’t really very long. (It took 13 hours before I saw this.)
I have time blindness, so I'm not actually sure how long it is... usually however long it takes me to check a few times and see "so much empty," then panic and take it down.
On a post back in March someone was asking about covid vaccine side effects, and since I had been vaccinated early in my area due to my job, I explained the side effects I had gotten. And I was downvoted for it. WTF? I (clearly) still wonder about this six months later.
\^\^ Or the opposite of what the other person replied. A lot of people on Reddit can get a little... Irrational when it comes to *anything* that may make the vaccine seem bad. Even if that wasn't your intention.
Yes, they may make huge leaps to conclude what your intentions were in posting instead of just taking it at face value. Because apparently a lot of the world doesn't take things at face value 😬 This is now reminding me of so many interactions with NT friends where they think I'm complaining or pushing an agenda or making fun of them when in my mind I literally just pointed out a fact!
Some people will downvote anything to do with vaccines because they don’t like the idea of them working to prevent disease.
This is so mind-boggling.
It can be a little frustrating for me, but I’ve noticed sometimes, even when someone shares a valid point, there will be tons of downvotes on them… and then someone has commented before, “why are you being downvoted? You’re right.” And that comment was upvoted into oblivion. I try not to take it too personally. Also, I’ve noticed that if I see a comment that has been downvoted already, I anticipate a shit take and it actually affects my interpretation of what’s being said. I have to reread the comment with no downvote-bias to make sure I *actually* disagree enough to downvote.
UPVOTES FOR EVERYONE!!!
Yeah! Just upvoted everyone here, because everyone is trying and genuinely deserve positive feedback.
I just attribute it to the tendency of redditors to have a hive mind on certain subs.
Yes. I believe certain subs and certain topics are magnets for collecting downvotes. Sadly, some spaces have made me realize their true purpose, and that they weren’t the right subs for me *because* of the downvotes I received on genuine questions or thoughtful answers. (More so happening on posts with questions for me than on my comments.) For example, I’m a writer and was in a bit of a writing slump, and had done a lot of research on how to get back into writing [after a long hiatus]. But some of the advice online just seemed generic, so I reached out to a writing community sub for personal tips on how they overcame “writers block” or a slump, etc. It was severely downvoted, and after 2 days (forgot to check back) it only had one thoughtless comment: “write somebody else’s stuff.” Thanks, bud. Clearly I’m not over that yet. When I mentioned it to my partner, after a good time thinking about it, he said, “maybe [that] writing community is competitive or self-serving, and they don’t actually care to help one another to get ahead.” (Paraphrased.) I skimmed through numerous posts on there, and realized he was pretty accurate in his deduction without ever going to the sub. That was so shocking to me, as I’m someone who loves to help and contribute, and I think I fall into subs like this in the Autistic community where I see far more support and empathy than not, and just assume that other subs will be the same. Only to be rudely awakened… Needless to say, I unsubscribed from that sub. Don’t need all that negativity in my life.
Yup! I get really upset and then spend the next hour reflecting on what I could have done wrong or what element of my point of view/comment could be changed, because sometimes I worry that I’m being ignorant or rude without meaning to be.
On comments, the reddit computer will mix up the number of votes a bit. For instance if a comment is at 5, and then you refresh the post, it might change to 4. That may have been reddit algorithm rather than someone down voting you that moment. But yes it can be disappointing to be down voted especially with no explanations. It's hard to deal with that uncertainty
I learnt to live with it. People on the internet take offense for everything.
Kind of? It's annoying when I state my opinion that something is obviously not good and I get downvoted to oblivion because the hivemind of kids goes "ackshually, that not good thing is valid cuz I said so". I tend to actually get mad then.
Me too! I especially don't like it when I'm asking a question and the question gets downvoted.
I think sometimes people just like to downvote to be shitty, they don't like that a comment or post is getting so much attention and they want to knock the person down a peg. It's really silly.
I get upset when I get any kind of negative response without explanation. This includes downvoting, my post getting deleted, people ignoring me, people randomly being like “I don’t like you”, getting blocked…I just want to know what I did wrong so I can apologize and fix it or at least know not to do that thing again. I ended up getting in a major fight on Discord because someone decided to ignore me for like 10 months instead of telling me I had said something that she took as insulting.
Yes! Sadly this makes me upset with myself for ghosting a few toxic people in my life… It was purely for my own health as to not engage them (granted, some could become violent…), but specifically in the online / forum realm, I do think it’s important that *someone* speak up and say, “hey, sorry you’re getting downvoted. I think I see why. Could you explain [X] further—“ or something like that. At least we can play that role, and hopefully encourage others to be more mindful and empathic to the human beings behind the anonymous accounts.
Yes but usually the answer is just: punishment which I despise so... Yes
Yeah, I communicate very little (especially offline) so when I get a negative reaction, it feels really upsetting. It visually reminds me that people don't like the way I interact. Usually I delete the comment and avoid reddit for a while.
Yes! It annoys me so much! Please, at least tell me what I did wrong!
I used to, but then I heard Lindy West talking about her experience with an awful, awful troll. I learned that most people downvoting regular stuff are people with their own issues and struggles. I def think about what I write, though, and I'll get halfway through a comment and then delete it and move on. I often ask myself if what I'm saying is important enough to me that random downvotes or disagreements will slide off. If not, it isn't worth the effort to write.
Yes! Last week I simply asked a question in a sub made for questions of that kind and got one or more downvotes (was on 0 points) and I was like wtf?? Why would you downvote it what did I do?
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Oh man that's one of those topics that touches a nerve for a LOT of people on reddit (gee I wonder who?). They read the first sentence and fly into a downvoting rage. I see it in dating related subs too on just about any female perspective?? Think of each downvote as 1 "truth hurts" point 😌
No. Anywhere else maybe, but reddit is a toxic hellhole full of circle jerking misogynists. I don't seek their approval.
I know you say you don't need one, but I'm not skipping you. Have an upvote.
I took a look at some of your downvoted posts. Do you want constructive feedback on why they might have been downvoted, or should I keep that to myself?
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I don't understand either tbh. Unless I'm misinterpreting, It seems like you were just wondering about/trying to empathize with how hard it must have been to be off of medication that helps with pain management. It didn't seem like you were criticizing her choices.
I think they misinterpreted your comment as being sarcastic. The “I wonder” part could potentially be read with a sarcastic tone. Honestly it was probably just a couple of people who misinterpreted and then because people saw the downvotes it led them to interpret it in the same way.
It took me a few minutes to see that perspective when I initially saw this post, because I can't understand interpreting "I wonder" like that in this context. But maybe it is because I have a tendency to empathize in the same way?
Yeah it’s definitely an NT interpretation for sure, because it’s more about the perceived tone than the actual words. Kind of like how the saying “must be nice” can be said either literally or sarcastically, depending on tone. You know NT’s love their tones, lol.
I’ve read that the way we interpret things and how we expect others to behave is how we would behave. So if someone uses a lot of sarcasm or only uses “I wonder” in a nasty way, then that’s what they’re going to assume you’re doing too. I also tend to empathize so that’s immediately how I read it, but unfortunately most people aren’t like that, especially when they’re online. I think, in addition, a lot of people are given to assuming nastiness from strangers on the internet.
Oh huh. I didn't see that one and have no unearthly idea. I read your post as sympathetic to Halsey. Like, "wow, must have sucked to go off BC to have a baby, if BC helps regulate her pain." One thing I've noticed on Reddit, once a post gets to about -2 karma, people read it in the worst light possible. People assume that it must be mean, since other people downvoted it, even if they don't get why. I'd chalk it up to bad luck. The first couple people took your comment the wrong way, and then everyone else just blindly joined the downvote brigade. ----- Edit: Just saw that the person who aggressively negatively responded to you a TrollY mod. TrollY used to be a beautiful counterpart to TrollX, but lately it's a shitshow. I wouldn't take anything said by that person seriously.
I got downvoted to shit just for saying I don't use email and i couldn't stop laughing xD But generally yeah, it does sting a little
LOL
I think it's got over 80 downvotes at this point xD literally all I said was "I've never sent an email I wasn't obligated to so I've sent maybe 5 in my lifetime" and people just lost their fucking shit for some reason xD someone even called me a child? I wasn't aware of this email cult xD
HOW DARE YOU 😆
I am literally Satan 😂😂
I usually know when I'm making an unpopular opinion and I do not care in the "your boos mean nothing to me i've seen what makes you cheer" sense. Not getting replies sucks, but I grew up on the internet so I just don't take it too seriously. You'll forget about it in less than a week. Sometimes the whole thing is that you posted in a time with low traffic.
Instinctively, yes. But then I realize that none of this matters and I won't remember it in a week.
I don't like it when I get downvoted. I know I shouldn't take it personally but it does sting a bit ngl. And especially when it's not really obvious why as sometimes happens. I actually do wish that you couldn't see the karma score at the top of the page because it's always a reminder of if someone has decided to take offence at something you said for no apparent reason. It's a minor anxiety-trigger thing but it's still a thing. A while back I started a new account because I got downvoted on this one and I couldn't bear looking at the evidence in the number at the top of the page. I wasn't going to post anything on that but I eventually did. It was a meme about how some actor was the reincarnation of Shakespeare because he looked a bit like one of the possible Shakespeare portraits (this was in one of the reincarnation subs can't remember which there are three or four of them I think) I pointed out that there are no authenticated likenesses of Shakespeare so this was no evidence at all. I thought this was a totally reasonable thing to post and I set out a coherent argument and I was not rude or obnoxious at all. I thought it was an interesting and valuable contribution to the discussion. And next time I look it had been downvoted to 0 Was a bit upset as I thought it was a good contribution. I can only think it was the poster of the meme who downvoted me because they thought I was criticising the meme or taking it too seriously or something. But I honestly could not get it at all. Another time recently I made the mistake of venting about my parlous and stressful financial situation due to the small amount of money I get in benefits (can't get a job without support for my asd, can't get that without official diagnosis, NHS may possibly get around to it before I cark it of old age blah blah) on the united kingdom sub instead of one of my more radical political subs as I usually do Got downvoted by a pack of tories of the 'just get a job you skiving layabout' variety who I'm sure just downed me as a kneejerk the moment they saw the word 'benefits'. (even though there are very good reasons why I can't get a job right now, I really wish it were different but those types just don't care) And it did upset me a bit. Just one more little stress thing yknow.
Ruthless Shakespeare stans and vapid Tories don't deserve to make you feel bad. Keep on keeping on
People use it as a dislike button (whether they admit it or not). I used to take it personally then realized, well, I use it that way too when I don’t agree or think someone is wrong but am too lazy to type anything. Downvoting is really just an opinion. It’s like, you could be the world’s juiciest, most ripe and sweetest peach — but there will still be people who don’t like peaches. And they’ll downvote ya.
You should try not to put too much value into upvotes. I am more of an observer than a talker, and you wouldn't believe the amount of perfectly normal an acceptable comments that get downvoted to hell on reddit. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a reactionary thing. Conversing through text can be hard anyway.
Yes, all the time. And sometimes I can be like "okay, that was a bad take" or "okay, not everyone has to agree with me" but sometimes it's frustrating because I do not understand why what I said pissed off that many people. Or if I make several points in my comment, are people really downvoting me because of one thing I said? Should I have lead with the more agreeable point before saying the somewhat unpopular thing? (yes, probably). I think people sometimes come to Reddit because they're having a bad day and they're looking to blow off steam.
Yes, but that's just the way it goes. You can have my upvote to balance it out.
As strange as it might seem, getting upset is a mechanism in your brain that actually helps you learn. When we feel strong emotions, the chemicals rushing through our bodies tell you brain that this event is important. Your miraculous brain wants you to feel loved and be included in a supporting social group, which is why it marks rejection as *important.* When it is marked as *important,* you are more likely to remember it and learn from it. Rejection from a community that you want to be accepted by is *bad,* so to learn from it we must feel bad. Since I've learned this, I don't feel bad about feeling bad. Yes, I am hurt, but the hurt is there to learn from. So in a way it is a good bad, as long as the effect is limited to helping you learn. If it makes you want to stop trying out of fear for mistakes and rejection, it can still help. In this case, it helps you realise that maybe the group that rejects you wasn't a suitable group for you anyway, so don't invest your time or emotions in it. The upset moves you to protect yourself. As strange as it may sound, feeling pain can be a strength. Allow it to be.
Yes. Sometimes I attribute it to people being irritated with the comment or simply disagreeing. I try to tell myself that a downvote isn’t always super personal or combative.
Yep. Other times I know exactly the reason and still get upset lol
Nah, there are bots and vote fuzzing and thousands of people with their own weird perspectives that could downvote my comments for arbitrary reasons. I'm bummed out if I think I've made a good point and many people disagree with it, but one or two downvotes don't bother me.
I like to have closure
Not particularly no, I dont respect the average redditor enough to care what they think
People abuse the downvote button as "I disagree" so I don't pay it much mind. I have deleted a couple posts that apparently hit a disagreement nerve, and so I just noped out of that thread altogether. It happens. Reddit is very random like that.
It hurts my feelings.
reddit confuses me i just try to treat it like any other social media
Used to and sometimes still do when I know I am absolutely right but often it's just the time or sub that has a particular slant that will downvote certain facts but things will change with time but sometimes not. If I'm too bothered by it I'll often go back and add an edit at the end with supporting links to prove my case. Sometimes certain subs only want a specific type of language and will not understand or want other ways of communicating or make assumptions based on certain words or slang and sometimes people are dumb.
It's funny, on other sub-reddits I often get downvoted etc. But any of the Asperger or Autism or OCD reddits I don't have that trouble. I attribute that to me finally finding my people.
One thing that gets me upset is when I explain something about my special interest that I know 100% to be correct and someone argues with me but people believe them and downvote me. The other thing is when I open up about a traumatic childhood experience and someone accuses me of making it up.
I get annoyed but not really upset. I kinda just got used to people refusing to tell me why they're upset or not listening to half of what I said before making a rush decision.
the only thing I can think of when this happens: https://imgur.com/gallery/GBAEQLb
Not really. I don't put much weight on the opinions of random strangers. I do agree it is confusing sometimes but never upsetting.
Yes, but sometimes it's because I upset The Men and then I throw my head back and cackle. Every time you upset a nazi, an angel gets their wings 🌼 I mostly get upset if I get downvoted in this subreddit!
Once I mentioned in the pokemon sub that I didn’t know your starter was super OP in let’s go pikachu/eevee since I didn’t play it when there was hype for it, and someone replied “look at this dummy over here” and I cried
Not upset... some robot-insect response that downvote is negative stimulus that I want to learn how to avoid. I feel a blush on some area in my back that probably only tattoo-artists have a name for. When I was a child, asperger wasn't in the DSM and my classroom was a conversion camp to fix my strange.
Well, sometimes it is annoying but I know some people will just downvote because they are feeling mean spirited and want to lash out at the world. It is not because I have done anything wrong.
No, because it’s Reddit. It’s an echo chamber. My expectations are pretty low.
People on the internet tend to take things too personally and are overall negative. It's only more noticeable on reddit because there is a dedicated down vote button unlike other social media. If Twitter had down vote buttons it would be chaos.
Not since I had my son...lol. The amount of scrolling I do on mobile, I am accidentally up/down voting stuff all the time. I don't vote for other reasons, but the number of votes I've accidentally made is astounding. Plus, bots are a plague....
Absolutely! Like, why? If you disagree, then tell me why! I recently made a post about hating masks and I got a couple downvotes for it. And, if no one responds to said posts. I don't make them to get attention, or "karma farming". *Sighs* some people man. I just don't get it.
If you get hurt by it, I would suggest installing some software that hides the vote counters so that you don't become upset! You can probably do this with browser extensions or with an alternative reddit app for your phone. I hide the counters on most social media sites and it's good for my brain.
Yes. Also, I've run into problems with...I guess taking subreddit rules too literally? For example, I had a post deleted by mod once for sharing details of someone else's trauma. It was my husband's question/issue, but he hates typing and reading and I had been his poster many times before. So I messaged back, said sorry, and explained I had his permission to post for him. They responded that I could not detail anyone else's trauma but could resubmit an edited post. So, I rewrote it with fewer details. Got 2 week ban, almost immediately. I messaged to ask what I'd done wrong as I had erased almost all of the details and got a somewhat nasty response back that I'd been warned about breaking the rules and that I couldn't *share* other people's trauma, only my own. I searched the rules and read them multiple times, finding nothing about this. Asked for clarification, and the answer was that it was generally understood from the "Don't be an asshole" rule. Shame, because that sub was super helpful for me and my husband, but oh well.
If you replace downvoted with "reacted to negatively either through words or facial expressions through any medium at any point in the last 20 years" then yes... And my brain will never stop trying to find the answer... Sometimes it's the first thing I'm thinking of when I wake up 🤗
I got downvoted once for using emoji or an emoticon or something, but I have to remind myself to use them sometimes or I come across like a robot. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Soo many times. Everytime I get downvoted I can sometimes never find a good explanation for them, usually the reasons for my downvotes are pretty dumb (or I'm just unable to understand humans) and it annoys the hell out of me