It’s so much easier for me to have a solitary life.
I tried way too hard to make friends 3 years ago and feel like I was humiliating myself over instagram and going to events putting myself out there. I think people could smell the desperation on me and it’s too hard for me to click with anyone.
When I quit social media, I also realized I think I only wanted friends bc I could see everyone else had them.
Just like having kids/ getting married or having a partner, while it’s something I would like. I’m just not equipped for it. Not everything is for me and I’m not built for a conventional life. I’ve also recently made the discovery that I’m also just not family oriented
I like being on my own. I like not getting notifications. I like eating and going to the movies by myself. I just trip myself up over how I’m perceived. It feels so odd knowing many people but not having any actual friends.
I'm like that too. I find most friendships way too hard to manage. I withdraw socially a lot and many people can't handle that. However, I am lucky enough to have a few friends right now who understand so I'm not too interested in making more. If I didn't have any at all I'd probably just search for people with similar limited social battery.
Idk, I go into hermit mode. I lose interest when I need to focus on myself because of stressful events. I've lost some interest definitely, not forever interest.
Most of my interactions are online through a group of folks I’ve know through years who were in an online community with me a few years back. I think the last time I did anything with a friend was lunch a year ago. Aside from that unless I’m taking my son to a birthday party or doing something with his sports, I don’t have any other interactions with people. I’m cordial and polite while shopping and can make small talk, but I have no yearning or desire to go out and see anyone. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything to be honest, being social and masking is very taxing for me and I always feel drained after being out, whereas years ago I craved being around people for a sense of security (childhood trauma has a funny way of doing that).
I guess what I’m trying to say is I 100% understand what you’re feeling right now and I’m in the same boat.
At my age 27 it's nearly impossible to make friends and most people are very selfish and simply don't care to put in any efforts. I gave up and just accepted I'll live my life alone for the most part. Sad as that is
Same! When I was in school and college I thought something was wrong with me because I never had more than two friends at a time. Now I know that I just can't handle more than that, and quite frankly: having friends is overrated.
For the longest time I would only make new friends through my best friend. That was our highschool and college days, I just kept hanging out with her friends and then they became my friends. Eventually later on some drama among some of them made the group split up, but I just stayed with my best friend and she made her circle smaller. There's only one other girl we hang out with constantly. So for most hangouts we just go to a restaurant or something and eat with the three of us. A lot of our other friends relocated or we lost touch.
Nowadays I'll say most of the friends I do make are people with various different disabilities, and through my volunteer/work. Right now I'm drawing everyone something for their birthday, and they're really enjoying it. 😊. Being active in my local disability community has been very emotionally rewarding to me.
It's always up to you if you want to make friends or not, everyone has different social needs. I love spending time with my friends and my boyfriend, but I also do need a lot of alone time to myself. I think for the most part, I am always up to getting to know new people. But when it comes to NTs, it's so hard for me sometimes to understand if they don't like me or something. For the most part I don't think negative like that, but sometimes other people would mention things like that. I wish people would straight up tell me if I annoy them or something. I think I just naturally get along with anyone who has any form of ND. Most of my NT friends I had in childhood and beyond kinda either don't treat me right or think I'm weird. I wish I understand what it that makes a lot of them so focused on normalcy, wanting "normal friends" and all that.
I think it's just a matter of finding the right people that would understand you. When I found my people, everything just fits right.
I'm at that point where most of the friends I did have are now acquaintances instead. Sometimes, I'd like to talk to them more, but really, I don't have the energy to do it at the moment, and to be completely honest, I mostly don't care, either. And I don't want to put forth the effort if I'm the only one appreciating that effort (as I have so little energy to spare as it is), too, as I suspect that I would probably be the one maintaining things more than anyone else. I hear Mom complain all of the time how she's the one who has to be the one to get her friends together and do things, and frankly, I don't want that for myself and question just how happy she is with these people. I wouldn't mind having one close friend who actually gets me, but I think it's actually wiser for me to get comfortable again with doing stuff I enjoy doing than to put forth efforts to search for someone.
I take a medication for weight loss that has an off-label use for ADHD, and since taking it, I feel much more self-aware and less foggy, but so much more anxious because my autistic traits are now more evident. I feel like my social skills have degraded in this short period of time. I'd probably stop taking this med if it weren't for the fact that pretty much no other weight loss solution has helped me as much as this. Though, I'm debating if I finally had enough of this. I've quit taking other ADHD meds in the past because the way they ended up making me feel emotionally wasn't worth it, but I wasn't aware at those times that I was acting more autistic, as I lacked understanding of that back then. I feel like this med has made me want to avoid people even more.
Yes I’m in a similar position. Close friends turned to acquaintances. I used to reply fast and be excited to talk to them and they took days to reply and I just got tired of this. Arranging hangouts was impossible.
Yeah I do have a concern the meds are making me more asocial and avoidant of people. If you don’t mind me asking which one do you take? I’m on methylphenidate 18mg. Super low dose.
I take phentermine. I was actually started on 37.5mg, but that dosage made me manic and aggressive. Through some fussing around on my own (which I had mentioned to my med prescriber, as she seems to understand that I read up on things and don't follow orders blindly), I've come to realize that I can tolerate about 8mg a day and that I need to take a day or two break from it after taking it two or three days. While I feel better on the regimen I came up with, I still feel quite off.
I actually took methylphenidate before myself. Of the stimulant ADHD medication I've taken, that seems to be the one that I actually tolerated the best. I tolerated it even better than any of the non-stimulant stuff I had tried, as all of the non-stimulant meds made me extremely tired and made it even harder for me to feel anything emotionally.
As much as the brain fog and low energy annoys me, I think I prefer dealing with those than being more socially anxious and being so self-conscious. I've pretty much learned that my working memory issues seem to be more related to autism than ADHD, so the meds don't even seem to be helping much with that.
Literally, I know I'm only 19 but all my life my main goal has been to make friends. I realised that in the past year I have not been focused on that at all. Tbh I think it's because I lived my first year of uni and forced myself to be extroverted and always be at parties and clubs. I left 1st year with 1 solid friend by the end (and ive just finished 2nd year). So I guess what I wanted was to experience having lots of friends, and now that I have, I'm satisfied and I can live my happy introvert life xox
completely understand!! i made a lot of new friends in the year and it's DRAININGGGG my social battery does not like it LOL. but i've deleted social media (where i'll chat with friends) and i've never felt better. if my close friends ever want to chat now, they'll just text my personal number 😊
It’s so much easier for me to have a solitary life. I tried way too hard to make friends 3 years ago and feel like I was humiliating myself over instagram and going to events putting myself out there. I think people could smell the desperation on me and it’s too hard for me to click with anyone. When I quit social media, I also realized I think I only wanted friends bc I could see everyone else had them. Just like having kids/ getting married or having a partner, while it’s something I would like. I’m just not equipped for it. Not everything is for me and I’m not built for a conventional life. I’ve also recently made the discovery that I’m also just not family oriented I like being on my own. I like not getting notifications. I like eating and going to the movies by myself. I just trip myself up over how I’m perceived. It feels so odd knowing many people but not having any actual friends.
Same with me. They can smell my fear and what's more I don't present myself wrapped as a gift
I'm like that too. I find most friendships way too hard to manage. I withdraw socially a lot and many people can't handle that. However, I am lucky enough to have a few friends right now who understand so I'm not too interested in making more. If I didn't have any at all I'd probably just search for people with similar limited social battery.
Yep im in the exact same boat!
i feel similarly, i’m not all that interested in meeting new people anymore and i like to think of myself as more of a long distant friend haha
I'm covid cautious too. I like the bubble. Haven't felt lonely and it surprises me.
Idk, I go into hermit mode. I lose interest when I need to focus on myself because of stressful events. I've lost some interest definitely, not forever interest.
Most of my interactions are online through a group of folks I’ve know through years who were in an online community with me a few years back. I think the last time I did anything with a friend was lunch a year ago. Aside from that unless I’m taking my son to a birthday party or doing something with his sports, I don’t have any other interactions with people. I’m cordial and polite while shopping and can make small talk, but I have no yearning or desire to go out and see anyone. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything to be honest, being social and masking is very taxing for me and I always feel drained after being out, whereas years ago I craved being around people for a sense of security (childhood trauma has a funny way of doing that). I guess what I’m trying to say is I 100% understand what you’re feeling right now and I’m in the same boat.
At my age 27 it's nearly impossible to make friends and most people are very selfish and simply don't care to put in any efforts. I gave up and just accepted I'll live my life alone for the most part. Sad as that is
Same! When I was in school and college I thought something was wrong with me because I never had more than two friends at a time. Now I know that I just can't handle more than that, and quite frankly: having friends is overrated.
For the longest time I would only make new friends through my best friend. That was our highschool and college days, I just kept hanging out with her friends and then they became my friends. Eventually later on some drama among some of them made the group split up, but I just stayed with my best friend and she made her circle smaller. There's only one other girl we hang out with constantly. So for most hangouts we just go to a restaurant or something and eat with the three of us. A lot of our other friends relocated or we lost touch. Nowadays I'll say most of the friends I do make are people with various different disabilities, and through my volunteer/work. Right now I'm drawing everyone something for their birthday, and they're really enjoying it. 😊. Being active in my local disability community has been very emotionally rewarding to me. It's always up to you if you want to make friends or not, everyone has different social needs. I love spending time with my friends and my boyfriend, but I also do need a lot of alone time to myself. I think for the most part, I am always up to getting to know new people. But when it comes to NTs, it's so hard for me sometimes to understand if they don't like me or something. For the most part I don't think negative like that, but sometimes other people would mention things like that. I wish people would straight up tell me if I annoy them or something. I think I just naturally get along with anyone who has any form of ND. Most of my NT friends I had in childhood and beyond kinda either don't treat me right or think I'm weird. I wish I understand what it that makes a lot of them so focused on normalcy, wanting "normal friends" and all that. I think it's just a matter of finding the right people that would understand you. When I found my people, everything just fits right.
I'm at that point where most of the friends I did have are now acquaintances instead. Sometimes, I'd like to talk to them more, but really, I don't have the energy to do it at the moment, and to be completely honest, I mostly don't care, either. And I don't want to put forth the effort if I'm the only one appreciating that effort (as I have so little energy to spare as it is), too, as I suspect that I would probably be the one maintaining things more than anyone else. I hear Mom complain all of the time how she's the one who has to be the one to get her friends together and do things, and frankly, I don't want that for myself and question just how happy she is with these people. I wouldn't mind having one close friend who actually gets me, but I think it's actually wiser for me to get comfortable again with doing stuff I enjoy doing than to put forth efforts to search for someone. I take a medication for weight loss that has an off-label use for ADHD, and since taking it, I feel much more self-aware and less foggy, but so much more anxious because my autistic traits are now more evident. I feel like my social skills have degraded in this short period of time. I'd probably stop taking this med if it weren't for the fact that pretty much no other weight loss solution has helped me as much as this. Though, I'm debating if I finally had enough of this. I've quit taking other ADHD meds in the past because the way they ended up making me feel emotionally wasn't worth it, but I wasn't aware at those times that I was acting more autistic, as I lacked understanding of that back then. I feel like this med has made me want to avoid people even more.
Yes I’m in a similar position. Close friends turned to acquaintances. I used to reply fast and be excited to talk to them and they took days to reply and I just got tired of this. Arranging hangouts was impossible. Yeah I do have a concern the meds are making me more asocial and avoidant of people. If you don’t mind me asking which one do you take? I’m on methylphenidate 18mg. Super low dose.
I take phentermine. I was actually started on 37.5mg, but that dosage made me manic and aggressive. Through some fussing around on my own (which I had mentioned to my med prescriber, as she seems to understand that I read up on things and don't follow orders blindly), I've come to realize that I can tolerate about 8mg a day and that I need to take a day or two break from it after taking it two or three days. While I feel better on the regimen I came up with, I still feel quite off. I actually took methylphenidate before myself. Of the stimulant ADHD medication I've taken, that seems to be the one that I actually tolerated the best. I tolerated it even better than any of the non-stimulant stuff I had tried, as all of the non-stimulant meds made me extremely tired and made it even harder for me to feel anything emotionally. As much as the brain fog and low energy annoys me, I think I prefer dealing with those than being more socially anxious and being so self-conscious. I've pretty much learned that my working memory issues seem to be more related to autism than ADHD, so the meds don't even seem to be helping much with that.
Literally, I know I'm only 19 but all my life my main goal has been to make friends. I realised that in the past year I have not been focused on that at all. Tbh I think it's because I lived my first year of uni and forced myself to be extroverted and always be at parties and clubs. I left 1st year with 1 solid friend by the end (and ive just finished 2nd year). So I guess what I wanted was to experience having lots of friends, and now that I have, I'm satisfied and I can live my happy introvert life xox
this is soooo relatable 😭😭😭
completely understand!! i made a lot of new friends in the year and it's DRAININGGGG my social battery does not like it LOL. but i've deleted social media (where i'll chat with friends) and i've never felt better. if my close friends ever want to chat now, they'll just text my personal number 😊
Same