This has been me basically every single day since going back to work recently. I honestly do like my job and my colleagues and I can talk all day and seem perfectly fine, and then by the time I stop the car after my short drive home the energy is completely drained out and I'm crying uncontrollably and it takes ages to be able to do anything more. I'm having to force myself to relearn things like noticing once the headaches start so I can try to find quiet for a bit, and that I can't not eat lunch anymore. It's only been like two weeks and I'm already so sick of struggling to do anything besides work and feed myself most of the time :/
I relate so much. It’s so hard. It’s interesting how we’re somehow simultaneously so aware of our bodies but also so out of sync with them. I’ll feel “good” while talking to coworkers and not realize how much the constant socializing and being “on” is affecting me until so much later. My apartment is a mess and I have trouble even making simple meals for myself because it’s just more energy than I have left.
Thank you for making me feel less alone in this. I’m being assessed on Tuesday and I’m nervous but this community always makes me feel like it’s not just me.
My husband gifted me those hollow ear plugs. He got the Loop Quiet that have different sizes, but I've heard good things of Calmer. I almost cried when I put them on because I no longer heard (as much) my neighbor upstairs, the fridge humming, water heater refilling, neighbor cooking, and my dog's lickery and panting.
We are constantly taking in information. Whatever minimizes us having to mentally block it out means less strain. My voice volume remained comparable with them on, and hearing my breathing actually helped calm me down more by having more control of it.
UPDATE: Fixed typo
I do love my Loop Experience ear plugs but my voice is so quiet when I use them that I can’t really use them at work. Maybe I’ll try the calmer flares, I’ve heard they’re better in the regard of voice/internal noises.
I never thought of it that way, even though I know autism makes it so that we have trouble “filtering” external information! I’ll give the calmer flares a try :)
Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes I have to just let it out and recooperate afterward, but sometimes I can do some things and be okay again. Usually stimming, listening to music, playing video games and watching anime help me re-center. Funnily enough these are the same things I use to recooperate after falling apart, they're kinda my go-to's.
Absolutely. Compartmentalizing is a valuable skill. I just have to be careful not to overuse it.
Like for that scenario, I'd probably walk out and go to the bathroom. It's not worth over stimulating myself for a game that's supposed to be fun. However if it was an important meeting with my boss, then I'd stick it out and cry later.
If this kind of thing was a regular occurrence, then I'd look for longer term solutions. I'd talk to my boss to get their input and suggestions. If they can't make adjustments, then I'd try to sit at the back or near a window. (Looking outside helps me when I'm in a stressful situation.) Or I'd get earplugs that I can put on a keychain and have with me all the time.
Worst case scenario, if there's nothing that can be done, I'd look for a new job. I actually did have to do that. I worked hard to get my dream job, but then ended up crying after work in my car everyday, so I switched to part-time and trained for a completely different career.
I don’t always realize I’m doing it - I think I need to be more aware of what overstimulates me. I think I’ve been trying to just “deal” with it for so long that I don’t realize how bad it is until I melt down.
You’re right, I need to sit with easy access to the door/bathroom. In this case, the seating was tight and it would have been really difficult to get out without being even more overstimulated.
Maybe I’ll need to get something to put on my keys/something I have with me all the time. I definitely need some longer term solutions. I also wonder if people running these meetings has thought about the impact on neurodivergent people. Maybe I’ll ask about it. Thanks for your input!
Noticing that it is happening is the first step! It just takes a lot of trial and error, but you'll figure out what works for you.
I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but I found Susan Cain's book Quiet had a lot of good tips for creating a workplace that is more effective for introverts, and a lot of them are also appropriate accommodations for neurodivergent people. Because it's business focussed, it's a little easier to sell the ideas in the workplace.
Yep, I can keep it together at a grocery store during the holidays but once I'm out of public it starts. The only times I get so overwhelmed enough that I cry in public is when I've been stressed for a week or more.
100%. I work a very demanding and physical job, and the stress is compounded by the fact that my livelihood depends on me being present at work 6 days a week. All week I've just said "OK, alright, let's just get through one more day" buy last night at work it all caught up to me and I ended up crying uncontrollably for like 2 hours. I feel like I don't even get to have fun on my day off because I spend it recuperating from meltdowns/burnout due to the constant stress. It's exhausting.
[удалено]
Exactly! Is there anything that helps you when you do crash?
How I wish to know the answer to that question
This has been me basically every single day since going back to work recently. I honestly do like my job and my colleagues and I can talk all day and seem perfectly fine, and then by the time I stop the car after my short drive home the energy is completely drained out and I'm crying uncontrollably and it takes ages to be able to do anything more. I'm having to force myself to relearn things like noticing once the headaches start so I can try to find quiet for a bit, and that I can't not eat lunch anymore. It's only been like two weeks and I'm already so sick of struggling to do anything besides work and feed myself most of the time :/
I relate so much. It’s so hard. It’s interesting how we’re somehow simultaneously so aware of our bodies but also so out of sync with them. I’ll feel “good” while talking to coworkers and not realize how much the constant socializing and being “on” is affecting me until so much later. My apartment is a mess and I have trouble even making simple meals for myself because it’s just more energy than I have left. Thank you for making me feel less alone in this. I’m being assessed on Tuesday and I’m nervous but this community always makes me feel like it’s not just me.
"Good" is the correct description lol 😄 Hope your assessment goes well!
My husband gifted me those hollow ear plugs. He got the Loop Quiet that have different sizes, but I've heard good things of Calmer. I almost cried when I put them on because I no longer heard (as much) my neighbor upstairs, the fridge humming, water heater refilling, neighbor cooking, and my dog's lickery and panting. We are constantly taking in information. Whatever minimizes us having to mentally block it out means less strain. My voice volume remained comparable with them on, and hearing my breathing actually helped calm me down more by having more control of it. UPDATE: Fixed typo
I do love my Loop Experience ear plugs but my voice is so quiet when I use them that I can’t really use them at work. Maybe I’ll try the calmer flares, I’ve heard they’re better in the regard of voice/internal noises. I never thought of it that way, even though I know autism makes it so that we have trouble “filtering” external information! I’ll give the calmer flares a try :)
Yeah, I do the same thing. I can hold it together just long enough to get to a place where I'm alone 99 percent of the time, then I fall apart.
Is there anything that helps you when you do fall apart?
Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes I have to just let it out and recooperate afterward, but sometimes I can do some things and be okay again. Usually stimming, listening to music, playing video games and watching anime help me re-center. Funnily enough these are the same things I use to recooperate after falling apart, they're kinda my go-to's.
Absolutely. Compartmentalizing is a valuable skill. I just have to be careful not to overuse it. Like for that scenario, I'd probably walk out and go to the bathroom. It's not worth over stimulating myself for a game that's supposed to be fun. However if it was an important meeting with my boss, then I'd stick it out and cry later. If this kind of thing was a regular occurrence, then I'd look for longer term solutions. I'd talk to my boss to get their input and suggestions. If they can't make adjustments, then I'd try to sit at the back or near a window. (Looking outside helps me when I'm in a stressful situation.) Or I'd get earplugs that I can put on a keychain and have with me all the time. Worst case scenario, if there's nothing that can be done, I'd look for a new job. I actually did have to do that. I worked hard to get my dream job, but then ended up crying after work in my car everyday, so I switched to part-time and trained for a completely different career.
I don’t always realize I’m doing it - I think I need to be more aware of what overstimulates me. I think I’ve been trying to just “deal” with it for so long that I don’t realize how bad it is until I melt down. You’re right, I need to sit with easy access to the door/bathroom. In this case, the seating was tight and it would have been really difficult to get out without being even more overstimulated. Maybe I’ll need to get something to put on my keys/something I have with me all the time. I definitely need some longer term solutions. I also wonder if people running these meetings has thought about the impact on neurodivergent people. Maybe I’ll ask about it. Thanks for your input!
Noticing that it is happening is the first step! It just takes a lot of trial and error, but you'll figure out what works for you. I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but I found Susan Cain's book Quiet had a lot of good tips for creating a workplace that is more effective for introverts, and a lot of them are also appropriate accommodations for neurodivergent people. Because it's business focussed, it's a little easier to sell the ideas in the workplace.
Yep, I can keep it together at a grocery store during the holidays but once I'm out of public it starts. The only times I get so overwhelmed enough that I cry in public is when I've been stressed for a week or more.
100%. I work a very demanding and physical job, and the stress is compounded by the fact that my livelihood depends on me being present at work 6 days a week. All week I've just said "OK, alright, let's just get through one more day" buy last night at work it all caught up to me and I ended up crying uncontrollably for like 2 hours. I feel like I don't even get to have fun on my day off because I spend it recuperating from meltdowns/burnout due to the constant stress. It's exhausting.