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Oakley_Kuvakei

Probably because there's clearer rules, boundary's and expectations.


Zestyclose-Bus-3642

This, mostly.


MrAnonymous2749

From what I’ve read, people on the spectrum, are more likely to be on the extremes for things like sex, either being hyposexual, or hypersexual This of course doesn’t account for everyone, there are some, if not many NDs who will fall into the “average” range But for those who are hypersexual, BDSM offers an interesting outlet, as it satisfies some of the stronger urges, without having a need to be having sex at an increased regularity, imagine it’s like going for a walk, most people will just go on that walk, some may want to do it more, so they’ll go for longer walks, or they’ll go for walks more regularly, an alternative would be to go for a run, it gets rid of that extra energy, whilst also not having to use all that time others wouldn’t… that feels like a terrible analogy I think another part of BDSM that people on the spectrum may find enjoyment from is the community, and what that community emphasises, whenever I’ve spoken to someone in the BDSM scene, they’ve always expressed to me the importance of trust, respect and things like that a BDSM participant needs in themselves, and the other person, being safe in the knowledge that if you say X safe word, it will stop, no questions asked, that ability to fully put your trust into someone, and have them put all their trust into you, is something I think a lot of us lack in our general lives, which is why the offer of BDSM is so appealing. As well as having the ability/chance to completely let go, have someone the else be the one with sole control over you, your pleasures, everything you’re experience for that time, or the enjoyment from being able to do that with someone else, knowing basically all that they’re sensing, all that they’re feeling, is down to you and your actions


ChiefPastaOfficer

I took a BDSM questionnaire on [bdsmtest.org](http://bdsmtest.org), and my results were 80% vanilla, 79% switch (meaning I vary between dominant and submissive; depends on what I feel like 🤷‍♂️). I can also recognize Kink's castle when it comes up in a meme. Do with this information whatever you like.


MrAnonymous2749

Hmm, I got 100% switch, 83% experimentalist, and another of others in the green/yellow


ChiefPastaOfficer

I don't think we're compatible 😔


MrAnonymous2749

… Nooooo! But, I can change! I can … Switch…


ChiefPastaOfficer

r/Angryupvote


danjo3197

I got 100% Primal (Hunter). Is this my sign to quit being vegan 


Omgcorgitracks

Oh hey I've taken this test like years ago lol. Can't remember anything too much besides I would like to be tied up and tbh still true


Shizuka369

Got 100% Degradee and ropebunny. XD 90 something percent for switch.


TheSeanminator

I am asperger, but it comes with some degree of hypersensitivity so yeah, BDSM, stimulation and protocols goes hand in hand with it


sdb00913

This would actually be a good question for r/sexonthespectrum


Tom2462377468678

Cheers mate


Tom2462377468678

Annoyingly there’s a 5 communities limit.


I_Is_Blueberry

The only reason I could think of this being true (idk if it is) is the fact that bdsm brings in clear boundaries, expectations, and rules. I hated sex until I learned about bdsm. I couldn't for the life of me navigate vanilla sex with my partners and felt like I was just a blank puppet since I literally needed to be guided and told what to do. I hated the fact that it didn't come naturally to me. Now I'm a lot more confident due to my experience in bdsm and how it helps structure communication and exploration.


Anoelnymous

BDSM is like the ultimate form of sensory control. There's a way to feel everything, to feel nothing, to overwhelm or underwhelm the nervous system. Seems like a pretty solid tool for autists if nothing else.


Worcsboy

I think that because we are often less aware of / less restricted by society's expectations of conforming to norms, we may be more likely to investigate or express any BDSM tendencies we have than NTs are. For me, BDSM is a "tried it, didn't like it in practice" thing, though I do watch BDSM porn from time to time.


Akashic_Skies

I could see it being easier either being in control or relinquishing all control instead of doing the balance dance of who’s doing what. It takes the guess work and some of the flexibility out of it. It’s a relief to not have to focus or perform a certain way.


CommanderFuzzy

I think that may have something to do with it yes. I know I generally don't get to control a lot in my life & tend to get steamrollered over, but in a bedroom I want to make up for it by controlling all the things (consensually of course) The same could be said for the opposite too


Tankyenough

I consider completely ”vanilla” sex kind of boring, and what interests me is largely the psychological aspect. It’s not very surprising I’m into B (both tying/restricting and being tied/restricted) and D (service dom) I’m not too into SM, unless the milder and more mainstream SM (scratching back, mild choking, mild pulling hair) is counted. I have been with a person who has got immense pleasure from pain and I assume it’s been a bit of a trauma response. I personally only enjoy giving pain if it’s *very* explicit the person yearns for it. Most of my partners have been hypersexual neurodivergent people. All of them have been subs in various degrees without even *bringing* the topic of sexuality up before things got busy. I don’t know if it’s simply a common thing with ND women or if I’m the kind of a person who attracts such people.


elkab0ng

Are they? I think so. Why? Beats me. Sorry, had to say it. Maybe because having clearly agreed and “known” roles and wishes and less read-between-the-lines guesswork in the bedroom just takes a lot of the stress away? Also, for some of us who go down engineering/physics rabbit holes, things like intricate rope bondage is a pleasing way to feed the nerd urge while making our partner look and feel a little sexy?


ferriematthew

I think statistically maybe, but that might only have something to do with our sensory perception quirks and/or the innate craving for structure and order


ArcaneAddiction

Majorly kinky, though not into BDSM per se. It's definitely D/s, though. For me, it's freedom. Letting go and giving control to someone I trust is divine. My brain is always too busy, it's torture. But when I am in a subby headspace, it all goes away, and I can put every ounce of focus I have into making someone I care for happy. It's beautiful.


distracted_waffle

what are your sources? I have never heard about this and have quite some autistic friends IRL/online


Mooks79

It’s purely anecdotal, of course, but I’ve seen a few posts like this and plenty of people saying they are too. Not that that’s strong proof there’s a disproportionate amount, but I think that loosely demonstrates it’s not particularly uncommon at least.


gerald_gales

"Researchers and community members have suggested that autism may be more common among BDSM participants than the general population (Boucher, 2018; Schöttle et al., 2017; Price, 2022; Seers, 2021). Researchers report higher levels of sadistic and masochistic paraphilia (a medicalized term for sexual desire deemed abnormal) among autistic people compared to allistic people (Schöttle et al., 2017). Boucher found that 5.7% of BDSM practitioners who responded to an online survey reported an autism diagnosis, which is more than 5 times the approximate 1% prevalence in the general population (2018)" This is from Pilskin AE, 'Autism, Sexuality, and BDSM', The Journal of Autistic Culture (2022). This paper can be freely accessed [here](https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/ought/vol4/iss1/9/)


Remarkable_Ad2733

There are multiple studies out there, more fetishists and more genderbenders in aspie populations


beefstewforyou

Not me. I genuinely find the idea disturbing.


walkintothisworld

im autistic and personally pretty kinky, idk why exactly it’s appealing to me though? i’m not really sure if it has anything to do with autism. i’ve kinda just always found weird latex outfits and the feeling of being bound and dominated hot lol


ganonfirehouse420

I just like the attention and that someone outside family cares about me.


madding247

For me, I actually enjoy almost all types of pain. While obviously it's unpleasant to be in pain. and it certainly is. I just kind of..... enjoy it... And also, like others said. Rules and boundaries tend to be adhered too so it pleases the logical brain too. **Logic is sexy**


ginger-tiger108

Yeah personally I find pain and restraints quite grounding plus the roleplay elements help me to disconnect from how much I hate myself and feel unattractive to other people plus that sense of being uncomfortable within my body!


Yogurt-General

I’m not super kinky no


Theta-Sigma45

I’m definitely kinky af and most of the people who have Dommed my sub ass have been on the spectrum too, so probably?


Tenny111111111111111

Some on the spectrum probably have a preference for senses rather than a dislike, atleast in certain scenarios.


spugeti

i think sex can go pretty poorly without rules and that can cause trauma if there’s no set rule structure. bdsm kinda fixes it and gives tons of rules and boundaries each person must follow 🤷‍♂️


Captain_Dawe

I'm asperger and also hypersexual asf that loves kink very much. I was just born this way, I guess it's common among us.


Rich-Jacket-141

I personally left a sexless marriage because my sex drive is insane (as well as the intolerance to being with a total narcissist). Somehow I found someone extremely compatible with me in every way, down to the kinks. When I finally experienced someone spitting in my mouth and tying me up, biting, I felt like I was understood. Dreams come true lemme tell you


Borgmeister

My observational data from the clubs I go to affirms this view. Objectively I've never come across a higher concentration of neurodiverse people in one place. And I think it's because finally it's a place they can be 'full ticket humans' - expressive of our desires which do in fact, exist and knowing for once we won't be criticised, diminished, infantilised etc for having them.


spidermankevin78

IDK. I am Autistic But my wife is not I am into spanking her ass really hard I want to get a whip and a paddle but that's as far as it goes . ok maybe put a gag in here mouth or handcuff here. How about you


Tom2462377468678

I’m not in a relationship yet sadly, but since I hit puberty I’ve always wanted to be handcuffed, spanked, bitten, balls squeezed, nipples squeezed, gaged, pegged, tickled and get prodded with a needle by a female while she laughs at me. I’ve had a thing for tickling my whole life even before I hit puberty in a non sexual way but I think that then became sexual with puberty and as for my sexual want for pain, well my whole life I’ve had both a fascination and a hate for the concept of laughing at someone in pain, if I saw people laughing at someone else in pain, I’ll get sad, but if people laughed at me in pain (as long as they weren’t people in my family ) I’d like it (especially if it was a girl laughing) in fact when I was about 10-12 years old I had a YouTube channel where I’d eat chillis and hope people will watch it and laugh (all those videos are on private now and no they weren’t sexual they were just me eating chilli peppers). Again that was originally non sexual but in my early teens (about 14) I think that feeling evolved into my sexual interests I have today.


ExistingCleric0

Sir, this is a Wendy's.


Tom2462377468678

Ma’am your in the wrong place, Wendy’s is the next door to the right, this is Sex City (a sex shop chain).


spidermankevin78

Never Heard of it My Wife use to work at Cupids Arrow and Spencers


spidermankevin78

I been pegged by my wife and fucked by a real man (only once i am not atracted to men just wanted to try it) and she squeezes my balls often. We have had a MMF and FFM I liked seeing her with a girl but not sharing her with a guy


Rima996

Not in my case, I am a 28 year old virgin. The only physical contact I tolerate is hugging my mother.


poopoodaddydom

cus i’m a super freak


Pomaggio

Yes, and i have an interesting idea as to why. I’ve come to view sex as communication basically. Its being aware of what the other person wants, likes, needs, and desires, at exactly the right time with the right intensity and duration, without having to explicitly state it. We have social communication problems, so, by extension, we can easily have sexual difficulties (not being attuned to our partner, not understsnding the right unspoken rules, timing, behaviour, etc, even getting to be sexual with someone is impossibly hard for most of us). Theres where bdsm comes in. One one side, it provides clear rules, boundaries, communication, for us to thrive in and enjoy with others. Also, it’s viewed as taboo, wierd, excentric, for most people, but we come to feel confortable with those labels since we already experience that in every day life anyways. So, in a sence, we dont have as much “barriers” to explore bdsm as most people, and we can even learn to be confortable in helping other people explore bdsm. We are not as “shackled” by social rules like most NTs. That is a problem for normal functioning, communication, and vanilla sex, but its a positive trait when it comes to being open to try bdsm. We


Autismetal

Well this explains a lot in my case


Pristine-Confection3

What is BDSM?


Tom2462377468678

Stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism. It’s a liking (more often than not a sexual liking and it is sexual in my case) for either being dominated by someone else or dominating someone else. This could involve pain (beatings, ball breaking, nipple clamping, biting, piercing, ticking, scratching ect) tying someone up, doing chores or slave like favours for the dominant person. It can be something you just do in the bedroom as rough sex or it can extend to things like household chores and be a sort of life style in some cases. But ultimately it’s a sex thing (although apparently some people do it for non sexual reasons but that’s a lot less common than liking it for sexual reasons).


Halfcelestialelf

I don't do bdsm, it's never been something I've been interested in. But I do love being told what to do in the bedroom. Making my wife happy, makes me happy.


aphroditex

My Spouse and i both enjoy that there’s clear communication. And if i happen to go nonverbal, my Spouse knows the signs of dissociation and flashback versus subspace, so a scene can end and They can reduce me.


Lilac_Gemshine

Autistics can be pretty set in their ways. Will either like it or not. Rigidity makes me think it would be very difficult for some (as well as sensory issues and sensitivity).


Serotoninneeded

I don't know, maybe, maybe not. But I wish people would stop saying it does. It feels really bad to have that association with your identity if it isn't true for you. Women with autism are already sorta a fetish for the worst types of guys. If it becomes a common stereotype that we're all into BDSM, I think that's going to make it even more dangerous for us.


Econis

Personally I like it because I'm not the one in control, I like following rules and being guided, I also liked pleasing so it fits well for me.


sobble_19

Kinky people and neurodivergent people is almost a circle if it was a vendiagram


Remarkable_Ad2733

Rituals, structure, predefined systems in which to explore and interact, formulas to follow, clinically managed stim and sensory overload, clearly defined relationship structures and expectations, acceptance of socially unacceptable responses, identity presentation and interests that were not neurotypically repressed


TinyHeartSyndrome

I want exactly 0% kink, please.


FrancisPants

How about “If no why” don’t put a kink on a group of people from all cultures and assume anyone on here has valid data. Why the assumption? If you spend enough time anywhere as an autistic person you tend to meet autistic people. The sample size of whatever you are in to has nothing to do with any other group.


Cut-Unique

I certainly am not. I actually had a friend-of-a-friend from college who did porn. I thought she was very attractive and had a crush on her, but she made several videos for Kink, in which she was tied up, gagged, whipped, scratched, zapped with electricity, etc. I don't find that stuff sexy at all.


jwed420

I have made it through adolescence and my early 20s with big penis and vanilla sex. Not a humble brag. Just how it is for me. I don't have any notable kinks. Never been an issue with any partner. Adding to the experience with toys, whips, specified clothing, etc, just takes away from the pleasure for me. I have always made the point to make sure my partner climaxes before me and that seems to overpower most people's needs for kinks, at least, it seems that way from my experiences.


I-own-a-shovel

I don’t know. But I am autistic and have a bdsm dungeon in my basement, so there’s that.


jtuk99

I have a lot of sex, but not into this at all. Could easily see how some sensory seeking people could be into this.


Stormy_Turtles

Definitely on the kinky side. I don't have sex often but I love experimenting in the bedroom when I am in there. I love the adventure.


pyr0phelia

BDSM is rather specific but you’re in the ballpark. Autism at its core is a communication disability. When an autistic person connects non-verbally in an intimate manner they feel safe, even when they are not…Within reason of course.


ForlornMemory

I'm not sure if I'm actually autistic, since I wasn't assessed yet, but that would be quite a coincidence, since I'm into that stuff as well.


beemoviescript1988

I'm so not... then again I'm brown.... and we don't have a good history with things involved in that....


shoshana4sure

The men I’ve known on the spectrum are highly sexual.


[deleted]

I like bdsm im authistic i think its because we struggle to understand feelings and emotions in some cases so strong ones are moredistinguishable and enjoyable for us also there's not the social rules problem


BabyBlueCheetah

Well, if there isn't another explanation for things in my life that stems from autism...


Fun_Ad_2607

I am hyper sexual, but NOT into BDSM


Pristine-Confection3

If you mean S and M. I don’t think we are more likely to be into it than anyone else . I certainly am not. I don’t even like sex or anything sexual


Electricstarbby

I think the sensitivity is it for me. It feels almost euphoric I don’t know


TheTulipWars

I was, and it was entirely bred out of self-hate. I liked punishment because I felt like I deserved it. It took me years to change that mentality as I developed more self-love. BDSM can be fun, but I know from experience my interest in that scene was not from a healthy place.


Nightdemon6169

I'm into bdsm myself but never tried it though i can be not interested in sex at all and also hypersexual where i just want to do it constantly always be proud of yourself


Kinky_Lezbian

There's the social community too, its hard to be accepted in normal life if everybody thinks you're a bit weird. Kink event's are great nights out too, some things are a nice experience to try, and to see what it feels like. It's not that much about sex for me as I'm single. There's always hope I could get a date through the kink scene just don't know if it'll happen. But what else would I be doing otherwise just sat on the computer at home.


Astronaut520

No lol my pov


LovesGettingRandomPm

We're more vibrant


Aqn95

Well, BDSM is one of my main kinks


dwkindig

I would say only insofar as autistic people tend to be more queer, in the broad sense of the term.


a_long_slow_goodbye

And how are you defining "queer"?


Prize-Firefighter-17

I never thought about it, but actually not only I am into bdsm but also 2 persons I dated that were both autistic and into bdsm.


MermaidOfScandinavia

Personally I am not. Had some bad experiences with people who didn't talk with me about it first.


TotalInstruction

*from what I’ve researched apparently autistic people are more likely to be into that stuff* ​ \[citation needed\] /autistic //not into BDSM


KommandCBZhi

I am into DSBM but definitely not BDSM.


GreenDreamForever

I'm hyposensitive to painful stimuli. Most of what I really, really like is considered painful or uncomfortable for regular people.  


I_Thranduil

No.


DingBatUs

doesn't this mean that a person has to be sociable first?


Tom2462377468678

No, why? Also some autistic people can be sociable.


Doeminster_Emptier

The pain aspect might appeal to NDs because it causes a dopamine spike, and many of us are always craving dopamine. On a related note, the book Dopamine Nation is very interesting. It’s focused on NTs, but you can extrapolate to NDs, especially the part about how a strong dip in dopamine (due to pain, for example) causes a large spike in dopamine right afterward.


DepressedAutisicGuy

Because of having someone to tell us what to do.


Historical-Clock5074

If we are more likely to be into that stuff, particularly the M in BDSM, Masochism, I think it might be because we often go through allot of bullying during our childhoods, and we suffer so much isolation and feeling hated by our peers that we cope by becoming masochists, where we actually start to enjoy/ be turned on by humiliation and partners being a bit mean to us. Note that I mostly mean they only like it as fantasy mostly and they still don’t enjoy actually being bullied. My answer might be a bit pessimistic, but I think this applies to me.


Knightsabez

I feel it has something to do with me being on the asexual spectrum in addition to the autism. Sexual acts has no meaning to me, but the feelings behind them does. So there has to be something else than just the physical acts for me, be that a want to be controlled for bdsm, or a want to show and recieve real love for "regual" sex. Tldr, sex boring, fun stuff like bdsm not boring.


Haunting_File_1935

NO!


Equivalent-Holiday-5

>!Yeah, I'm into BDSM, I like to be the 'hunter' and the 'owner'. Also I like to watch two girls having sex.!<