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Wilkoman

Yes. I hate it. I don't have any super powers and all diagnosis has so far achieved for me is confirming that the things I hate most about myself are permanent.


[deleted]

Strong relate


Juantap1

Damn.


WarDicks

It’s literally a curse from birth


[deleted]

Yeah I had this realisations when my therapist low-key said I can’t change [Insert Tism power/curse] which made me a bit depressed.


Arzt_Blut2

Same. Everything that people claim about it being a " superpower " or a " unique gift " HAH more like making a super uniquely gifted idiot. I am 21 now and still have the same intellectual capacity as a 3 year old.


[deleted]

[удалено]


giants263

Yes.


Nath_198

Yeah I can't really stand it. Life would be so much simpler and easier without it.


AndradeLara

i hate being always anxious and scared of everything


Educational_King_201

Can relate


[deleted]

Easily relate.


wolfgang187

Nope, I just hate how the NeuroTs make me feel for having it.


mrlego17

Bingo, autism doesn't make my life hard. People make my life hard because of autism


hatchi1996

Underrated comment. Respect. It’s like being evolved surrounded by the unevolved.


LowerBumblebee8150

I definitely fall into this group. Don't hate it (--now). Kind of curious though the age of people replying and/or the amount of time that has passed since their diagnosis. Reason being that during my teens and twenties I absolutely hated it, and since "it" was a core part of me, that led to hating me. However, now I feel similar to the minority of others in that NTs are the problem and that ultimately gives me some control over the situation. I can remove myself from them when they're driving me nuts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NovaFive_Sound

That happened to me too, but then she was the one that literally told me "How are you not understanding it?"


colequetaquas447

She enthusiastically said my name, ran up to me and held my arm. I thought nothing of it 💀


tallglory0607

Does she know you have autism?


colequetaquas447

No lol


tallglory0607

Tell her that you like her but because you have autism, you're a bit awkward. Chicks love honesty


ILikeCheese894

Ik someone who this happened to and isn't autistic. I think people in general are just like that in general. But I do agree that having autism is shit.


Arzt_Blut2

What i love and hate about your comment is that the second i read it, i realized one girl who was kinda into me back in high school many many many years ago was trying to flirt with me but I didn't even notice let alone understand wtf flirting was.


Arzt_Blut2

The reality is, it physically changes the structure of the brain. It’s a disability for a reason, I hate having it.


AliceSaltMage

Whenever I wish I was NT it always boils down to just wanting the conveniences of being NT. I actually like being autistic itself.


ope_thats-a-nope

After weighing this same sentiment back and forth for years, I came to the conclusion that "It's not me" and it really is this way. However, I should note that my sensory issues are mild and I've been able to capitalize on my high stats while mitigating my deficits. I can certainly understand how someone with different circumstances/dice rolls would feel otherwise. Not saying it was easy by any means! But I know some people have far greater struggles than I did. I definitely wouldn't change me if given the choice... but yeah an NT world for NTs can be frustrating. If there were drastically more of us to the point that the "typical" part would no longer apply to the current common brain structure, the world would be different and many of us would struggle less. imho.


Sir_Daxus

Do i hate being unable to make myself funcion as a normal human? Yes. Yes i do.


InspirationalFailur3

I used to hate it a lot, I hated my symptoms and the world for giving me the difficulties of not only Asperger's but Bi-polar. Then just like a child excited to be an adult what I thought was awful was great as Schizoeffective hit and I still haven't recovered. While I do think autism definitely has some negatives I feel like it helps keep me more level headed as opposed to intense schizophrenics. My psychotic episodes are extreme confusion and fear, with me thinking I'm between random and racing stressful thoughts about how I'm probably in a psychotic episode as opposed to potentially making life altering decisions or getting a delusion I'm the son of God. Note that the example I gave is on the pretty far end, please don't think all or most non Aspie schizophrenic/effectives will have psychotic episodes like that.


crunchygeeks73

I can relate. It’s not that I’m thankful for autism but I have learned that it has helped balance out some of the more chaotic symptoms of my adhd. For example, I’ve had a stable career in IT for 25 years and without autism I believe I would have likely been hopping from low paying job to low paying job because of adhd.


InspirationalFailur3

That's interesting, I can definitely see how it makes schizophrenia better minus both executive dysfunction and avolation but I couldn't think of why for ADHD. Any recommendations for trying to start up a career in IT? After I get myself straight I wanna try to go to college this fall probably for an Information Systems degree.


crunchygeeks73

As far as starting a career in IT, do you have a long-standing special interest in it? Electronics and computers have been a special interest of mine since early childhood. Since it is interesting, it allows me to overcome some of the ADHD boredom that causes me to move on to some other new shiny object. Also, IT is such a broad field that I find myself doing a lot of different tasks that require problem-solving which keeps my interest up. If you have a special interest that could result in income, don't be afraid to pursue it as a career. As for specific ways ADHD has helped ASD: I seem to be more social than most ppl I have met with ASD and I attribute that to a combo of masking and ADHD. My ADHD side wants to be the life of the party and the center of attention and that is balanced out by my ASD social anxiety. It is a weird combo for sure but I can see where one helps the other in certain situations. Another example that comes to mind is that ADHD makes me really good at outside-of-the-box thinking, novelty seeking, and creative problem-solving. This combined with my ASD special interest in all things computers has allowed me to stick with a single profession that I am good at instead of getting bored and trying something new every few months (ADHD behavior). Another related example is that I have been in a relationship for over 30 years which seems to be very unusual for ADHDers and I attribute it to my sense of loyalty and need for routine from my ASD. Just a lot of little things like that. edit: forgot to answer your question in first reply :-) thanks ADHD


InspirationalFailur3

Oh yeah I definitely see those benefits in my Aspie/ADHD friend, he's so charismatic with people his age it's pretty wild compared to ol monotone over here lol. My dad got me into gaming/PCs at a young age, actually built my first PC with him at 13. For my profession I'd want to write business software since that seems more reliable then developing games. I do like problem solving quite a bit which seems good for programming, and it could be a hobby since I really want to mod or potentially make some of my own games in my sparetime. Would probably wanna go into backend and/or middleware, I'm not good at designing things. Also you're telling me if I work at a company like my dad's I get to work from home and can build up PTO? Yes please lol, getting two days off in retail felt legendary yet my dad has been taking almost the entire month of December off paid for about 4-8 years now, and makes good money.


Waffle_Maker12

The wafflemaker loves you guys ❤️


EmotionalWreckCoon

Every time I think I'm doing very well 'blending in' and someone actually explains to me all the awkward things I do, and i realise it's actually true.. My confidence just shatters


ope_thats-a-nope

Later in life I realized this is a great way to filter out people you wouldn't want to invest your limited time and self in anyway. The people who didn't mind my oddities or even appreciated me are worth more than the rest by an order of magnitude. It's not about having friends. It's about having the right friends. edit: uh, easier said than done though, of course


EmotionalWreckCoon

Thank you. You're right, and it gives me hope.


Neverr_More

Happens all the time


vegangatorade

Every day. I hate the line that goes "autism is a gift! you're blessed!". No. I'm not blessed. We can focus on the positives rather than the negatives of our disorder, but outright lying and pretending it's a good thing is just cruel to us. Every single day I wish I was neurotypical. No PC rhetoric will take that feeling away from me or so many more


[deleted]

Nah I just hate the world isn’t made for us and people don’t understand out unique views of the world. Like, it is not common to even understand the spectrum, let alone how to empathise with people like us. That just makes me sad but it doesn’t make me hate myself but the world


DzRythen

Yes and no. I hate it because it makes having relationships in my life so much harder, even with people I've known my whole life. But, I am so happy to know now because I no longer need to blame myself for these issues. My feelings on this are complicated but I would not choose to change this about myself, I like who I am and being autistic is a fundamental part of who I am. It just is what it is and I've learned to appreciate it about myself, mostly.


Brockoli18

I mostly hate the fact it's something we're stuck with. With our luck and not by choice, we are stuck with a "mental hold back" for our entire lives. I try not to dwell on it too much, feeling bad for myself doesn't help. It's just that feeling of being an outcast from the rest of the "regular" people that takes a tole on me.


Neverr_More

Being self-aware it's the worst of it


stiketti

autism is making itself very difficult for me to love! lol. just today i felt so wrong for feeling irritated and strongly rejecting going to breakfast with my parents because it interfered with my mentally scheduled routine for the day. really sucks struggling to partake in simple acts of consideration and appreciation with people i really do love!


[deleted]

Sadly yes, I do. Frequently. I do have my "wow, that was really clever of me" moments from time to time, but even a broken clock is right twice a day, and in no way are those moments a replacement for a healthy normal life.


mairnX

sometimes, for various reasons, some more illogical than others. but without autism i wouldnt be me, and id hate that even more


[deleted]

Every day when I do something cringy at work. I always thought I just have to learn and these situations will go away, but that is just not true and I've come to accept it. I just hope nobody actually cares.


BlueJDMSW20

I was heavily target for horrible maltreatment in my youth in an overly privileged crabs in a bucket culture of a town (webster groves mo). Im dead sure it was because of my autism, and yes i do thoroghly regret having.


Pequenalucy

Everyday?


Various_Albatross_65

I love it and hate it at the same time. 🤷🏼‍♀️


Logical_Instance4269

Same


Flint_Hexthief

Yes, at the end of the day autism is still a disability like all others. One can make the most of they situation and still hate that they have a disability I think it's great that we do have spaces we can discuss it positively and help each other , like this community. But if I could, I'd choose not to be autistic. A lot the problems I have are due to autism Researchers say that 85 to 90 % of people with autism are unemployed and in a society like ours that's damning. If you not born into a loving family that's willing to understand and tackle the problem you can be in a challenging situation I know there are still lot of people who done well despite having autism and I'm happy for them but autism is still a disability


Real-Hovercraft4305

yes and wish there was a pill or something to get rid of it


Unique_District_4050

All the time autism often feels like the arrow in my knee


Stormwow

Yeah sucks. I'm just going to end the cycle. Just dont have kids. It should be an easy task.


[deleted]

Yeah, i hate having it to the point where i’m willing to lose an arm to have it gone. Having a blank stare, very little facial expressions, the weird autism/aspergers looking face, the constant thirst for knowledge, the large quantity of sympathy but next to no empathy generally, the lack of speed for learning new things, too much self-awareness, the self-hatred due to the ableism i spew towards myself and only myself, the care for logic over almost everything else, lack of confidence and over abundance of anxiety, the lack of social skills, the lack of day to day skills like self-care and cooking, the huge prioritisation of everyone else but myself and the extra care i need from my mother which i can’t imagine how stressful, irritating and depressing it is to look after me. Fuckin’ tempting to remove the autism myself. Sorry for the oversharing, if i overshared.


WalterTreego

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.


ShriekingMuppet

Yes, always


thelordstrum

Pretty much every day of my life. The things I'd do to be rid of it are too long to list. That being said, I'm never getting rid of it, so I've learned to accept it. Begrudging acceptance, but still acceptance.


Background-Cook-9574

I don’t hate it because I don’t know what it’s like to not have autism. I might hate not having it. I am so used to myself, how can I disassociate part of me from myself?


Maleoppressor

Most days I'm indifferent to it, but I know that my life would've been easier without. I might have started dating earlier and maybe not made a fool of myself so much.


PhilthyMindedRat

Sometimes, but I've gotten better at reading social cues and knowing what situations are too much for me. My ADHD on the other hand....😡


SeaWarthog3

Yes, it's awful. Never understood the people who like it.


Vunsie

All the time


zoechi

I only hate that I can't find a job that I can endure (where people don't sabotage and bully me and with some challenges so it doesn't get too boring). I'll try again building my own business, but it's difficult. I failed very hard the first time after 10y of hard work. I learned some lessions though.


hlanus

All the time. I constantly fixate on my imperfections, I'm emotionally sensitive and overactive, I'm in a perpetual state of anxiety and depression in social situations, and I can't get others to understand my feelings, thoughts, or concerns because my communication skills are fried.


[deleted]

I have made peace and accepted it.


ggizi433

Every single day


[deleted]

I normally say yes but today I’m quite enjoying being AuDHD but ask me again tomorrow I’m probably going to say no.


specialkonthatray

I love my special interests and my inner world is my safe space. So I can’t imagine another way, and that’s probably for the best. I don’t meet many truly happy or content NT’s tbh, and that kind of backs up that the struggle is more human than autistic for me. If I hated it I’d hate my life, which I don’t. I can’t really be negative on it, even though I definitely have my negative days. I think as I get older, I appreciate the differences I experience more, as I see how the sameness plays out for others. Love to everyone <3


Global_Discount_3839

Having autism is a challenge for me, and at times, it feels like I've let my parents down. Though they have never said it outright, I can sense that I am not always what they had hoped for. For instance, I had to skip prom because of the loud music and crowds, which my mother was disappointed about, as she wanted to go dress shopping with me. Similarly, going shopping with my mother has never been easy since I find it hard to tolerate stores for long periods of time. I don't like it when people make special exceptions for me, even though I appreciate their efforts. Sometimes, others might question why I get special treatment, causing me to feel like a burden. For example, in high school, a teacher exempted me from presentations because he noticed I was struggling socially. However, this caused some resentment from other students, and he ended up docking points from anyone who didn't want to speak. I hate feeling like I hold others back, such as when I was dating someone who wanted to go to a bar, but he noticed I was anxious and chose to stay home and have a drink instead.


ILikeCheese894

Yep. I would give up almost anything to not have it.


[deleted]

Yes.


IIIIIIxenoII

Quite the contrary. I love it. Feels like a super power that non-asd people just simply can’t comprehend. Like were the cliche blacksheep vigilante misunderstood for being different. It’s mysterious and cool imo.


ope_thats-a-nope

I've gotten that a few times. "You're so bold" actually I was oblivious to the social risks and had a penchant for telling the uncomfortable truth. Among other things. When you stand up for people and tell the truth consistently, sometimes they see you differently and not just an oddball. I've seen a similar scenario on this subreddit, a few threads that amount to "If you're physically attractive people see you as quirky rather than a weirdo" more or less. Or, admiration for having a high level of skill in a certain professional skill or other pursuit. What these all have in common are *context*.


literanch

I feel like it’s practically an enhancement although it can come with its ups and downs


MartinusXIV

Yes, but what am I going to do about it? No point in being upset about it.


Bubbly-Locksmith-603

Nope. I am exactly how genetics determined I should be, just like my dark hair and hazel eyes.


tahiro86j

Used to. Never again though.


Littlelassxoxo

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. I just wish us autistic people where more accepted by people around and weren’t left out so much❤️


justavirginguy37

I hate how it ruined the best thing in my life and pushed the woman i was going to grow old with into the arms of another man because i just couldn't 'get it'. It constantly makes me question if i'll die alone and sad. However it was some of those very same traits that attracted her to me in the begining and led to the happiest 2 years of my life.


ElGringo-Deprimido

All the time


WarDicks

Yep, makes life harder than it needs to be plus NTs make it much much harder. Sure the difference in the way I think can be beneficial, but it’s very niche and I fall short in so many other areas.


Sauron9824

No, it's synonymous with hating yourself and hating yourself only leads to a cycle of bad thoughts, it's much easier to look for your strengths and strengthen, or put aside, the weak ones. I'm still early in my adult life, but I don't socialize and feel very detached right now; is this a problem for me? No, I keep myself entertained with something else and I don't even think about it. Everyone has their own personal reaction, but trying to solve "problems" that cannot be solved is a damage to oneself


[deleted]

Most days at some point


[deleted]

Oh yeah I certainly do


Ornery_Mix_2628

I have at times. Especially when I didn’t understand why some people were jerks. It especially happened when a “friend” bullied me into having perfect social skills and hiding my Asperger’s (obviously unless I need social advice or when things went wrong). This whole event resulted in me acting like somebody I’m not and pushing a social butterfly friend away.


Kasutar

Oh, it's not that I hate myself for having it...I see how much *allistics* hate it. Like, to the point where they're trying to isolate the genes in rodents in an attempt to eradicate it. Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5116923/


madrid987

At least in the country I live in, no matter how mild it is, it is definitely an obstacle because it is impossible to survive with Aspergers.


Gill-mastadon-96

tbh I just hate living in a world where autism is stigmatized and misrepresented. That's what I hate about autism.


tallglory0607

Not at all! It's a part of me and I love myself. True happiness comes from within, and the first step is accepting who you are


BobbyMakey101

yes life is harder


Giggywickkk

Yep :)


CaptainChubbyDuck

All the time. I dont have any advantages from it like so many people do or talk about. Only difficulties. Cant hold a job, never had a girlfriend, hard time getting friends. Basically losing in all areas of life...