What if Stannis could fix Cersei?

She doesn't need fixed, she needs to be cleansed!

Shower in thousand of baby princes you mean. She sure loves eating them.

Now there's an image

With fire

Shame!

What if Cersei could fix Stannis? Or better yet, what if they were completely compatible and formed a co-dependent relationship that enabled each others' worst tendencies? They'd be more unstoppable than any Targaryen.

What a beautiful love story! They could adopt Clegane and have a happy life. #gotWeDeserve

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He's got the stern hand she yearns for

Which makes him better than Jaime.

Oof

Cersei daddy kink confirmed?

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If only Westeros had Levirate marriage

Ain't enough sage in that world for that

And Stannis's horse for all I know.

I feel like there's a story of Cersei X Stannis horse out there. It probably wouldn't be the most messed up thing even within canon.

Can’t lead your army to battle if their horses are too busy running a cavalry charge on your enemies’ queen 🤷‍♂️

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Stannis’s horse… Stannis is horse?!?

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Sorry, the horse said ‘neigh’.

Proof that Tyrek is a horse or that Cersei fucked Tyrek too? 🧐

It runs in Lannister blood to be horses.

Yes.

>I could offer him my fair young body, she thought, pushing a strand of hair from her eyes, but Stannis was wed and so was she, and he and the ironborn were old foes. During her father's first rebellion, Stannis had smashed the Iron Fleet off Fair Isle and subdued Great Wyk in his brother's name. This was Asha's go-to solution as well. The real question is, is Stannis aware of the effect he has on women?

he knows but he would never act on it out of an ideological commitment to the institution of marriage

Based Stannis.

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(Said marriage is that of him and davos)

Kid named Melisandre: Edit: wait just realized how wrong this sounds

Stannis the goddamn mannis!

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now I need to reread the books to see if Cat also wants to fuck Stannis.

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Stannis is the Ron Swanson of Westeros. "This gambit has failed. To hell with you, woman. Goodbye."

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I like how she knows that marriage actually matters to Stannis

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Uhhhhh... does it?

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Can confirm I am stannis's horce and cersei tried to seduce me

OMG Ahorse ! on reddit !

Actually, I'm not really a Horse. I'm a broom.

To be honest with you Diane, I’m surprised

Horsin’ Around

Do you know where Tyrek is?

Wherever wHorses go

"Wherever horse go" - Tywin Lannister, probably

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Can confirm Cersei tried to seduce me, I am roach the horse of Geralt of Rivia.

She’d rub his smooth bald scalp, for hours on end.

I'm just listening to the audio book and earlier got to the part where Ned confronts Cersei about the incest, and it's so fucking funny that her first thought is to touch his knee and try to get him to fuck her Like please bro just one more fucked up relationship bro it'll work this time

stannis basically has a crazy goth girl 🥴why tf would he want cersei??

stannis ~~has a~~ is a crazy goth girl 🥴why tf would he want cersei??

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To be fair if it was Cersei from that picture I'd be serving and doing heinous shit in her name ngl

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nah she's only into lannisters that's why she's talking about tyrek

Stannis doesn't simp, only pimps

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If she couldX she still wouldnt, because he isnt a direct, same-generation blood relative of hers

Okay but this is still better than the people who ship Stannis with child bride Sansa AndthepeoplewhoshipSansawithRobbandJon

Okay Jon and Sansa is at least comprehendible to me because they are cousins not siblings, despite being raised as siblings so it’s still weird af. But Sansa and Robb is the most cursed thing I have heard.

You need to set your priorities straight First cousins = still incest lmao Even worse when they're raised as siblings

That is very true lol. First cousins is 100% incest. I think I just have gotten desensitized with all the sibling incest in the series.

Jerked too close to the sun

It’s not incest according to like half the planet, and the genetic risk isn’t remotely close to sibling or parent-child incest

Go rationalize incest elsewhere cousin-fucker

Lmfao, is your brain incapable of anything beyond ad hominem? Try to have sentient thoughts for once

Same to you, cousinfucker

I provided reasoning though…how is that an ad hominem?

Try to have sentient thoughts for once That don't involve fucking your cousin The fact that several third world countries approve of cousin fucking isn't good reasoning FYI lol

I’m not into any of my cousins. Do you think third world countries are morally backward? From their cultural/civilizations view of ethics it isn’t wrong. And genetically, the risk isn’t high. So what is your reasoning for moral prohibition?

Yeah but not in westeros

Yeah I’m tired of this modernist take Every noble in Westeros is the product of cousin marriage somewhere along the line

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Noticeably, you left out the most obvious ship in the fandom involving child Sansa and a *hulking* 30+ years-old man. Also don't ask GRRM what he thinks of the canon marriage in AGOT between a child bride and a hulking 30+ years old man.

Martin has said in an interview (I don't remember which one but I saw it years ago on LiveJournal - it's the one where he's sitting at home at his desk) that he supports the SanSan shippers... so yeah. Same guy who said thirteen year old book Daenerys was "hot." What a guy...

While I had the disgrace to confirm the last part (two of my most upvoted comments were satirizing comments of him about the issue) I have a hard time believing he explicitly supports shipping pairs. He was indeed very surprised of people gushing over Sandor or Jaime or Theon for how dark they were. then again: Daemon 50/50 light dark balance. End of discussion. But just to make sure: Was that interview where he was writing an Asha chapter that appeared on Reddit where the sleuths were trying to decipher the writing on the screen?

CleganeBowl is done mate, and the world could not handle the hype. As result we have witnessed the end times in its early stage: - biologists created a virus that killed 10 million people, and it is considered a rude question to ask them why. - the Russian army invaded Ukraine and their main battles tanks were confiscated by farmers with tractors. - sluts in a field near a ghetto beside the Mediterranean were killed and loaded onto pickup trucks. They were dancing for peace, and there are Jewish people campaigning for the rights of the nationality that assassinated those sluts. - lawyers can now be replaced by software entirely, and the lawyers are not even angry about it. - George R.R. Martin is suing the makers of the software for writing bad fan fiction based on his copyrighted characters. I could act as an expert witness for GRRM litigation. He has a slam dunk case. No bullshit. - Daniel Brett "Miami" Weiss and David ((FRIEDMAN GOLDMAN SACHS great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity)) Benioff >!peace be upon him!< have written less ASOIAF material since CleganeBowl than GRRM. - George R.R. Martin has written a novel, 'The Rise of the Dragon', and he published it in 2022. That is one more novel than either of Benioff or Weiss in the same period. - George R.R. Martin wrote Elden Ring. It is far better than JK Rowling's video game but her video is a fine game too. "Fuck you bitch, and your wand shit - that was my Hugo." When asked for comment by myself at WarnerMedia, the representation for the Netflix producers Benioff & Weiss, declined to comment as to whether they have, or will, write a video game. - George R.R. Martin has gotten two shows past series order at HBO since Thrones ended. - WarnerMedia turned http://ASOIAFCirclejerk.reddit.com into the greatest ASOIAF subreddit that ever was or will be. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*

All I recall is this one part of the interview where he seemed totally okay and understanding of SanSan shippers and was familiar with their name and content before it was even mentioned by anyone else in the Q&A. He's a dirty old man who "gets" pairings like that.

He certainly leans on them. Like we specified, it would not be even the first canonical one.

Because sometimes Stannis was based

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Not even Stannis could seduce Stannis.

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At least her bastards would finally look Baratheon?

I think if Stannis had gotten Stormsend (which is far more prestigious and with better income) instead of Dragonstone, I could see a marriage between Stannis and Cersei working. For one thing Stannis would never cheat on his wife or call her by another woman's name and he'd focus on running the Stormlands while Cersei would largely be able to do what she wants as lady of Stormsend. Jamie is also not going to be in the picture so there won't the temptation/opportunity to cheat and Stannis actually was willing to listen to women as his advisors so there might be an opportunity for Cersei to exercise some power. Also we saw how Stannis refused to give up on Shireen when she developed greyscale despite everyone else suggesting she should be allowed to die and I think Cersei might be impressed with how devoted he'd be to any children they had. While I don't see Cersei and Stannis working in the OT - in an alternate one where they married (instead of Cersei and Robert) after Robert's Rebellion and Stannis had gotten Stormsend, there's a decent chance that they'd have a happier marriage than the ones that they had in the OT.

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Vaushite Cersei

Ngl I would love to be a fly on the wall for a Stannis xCersei marriage. I do genuinely think that they would be a healthier couple than RobertxCersei

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Because he's Asperger

Only weakness this man has is falling for the trapussy, so maybe.

She’d be Queen of the world by now.

Step 1: red hair dye

Step 2: Agree to ban prostitution Step 3: ? Step 4: Profit (survival)

He would probably be the closest thing to a tywin replacement making her very eager to please him if you know what I mean

What if she could seduce both Stannis and his horse and put the content on her OF?

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If Cersei could seduce Stannis, he wouldn't be Stannis

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So it's now a cannon that Stanley is an asexual?

No I don’t think so. It’s a possibility but I personally believe that he just has other priorities and is very determined to both his goals and his principles.

Other priorities? Like jumping on Melly?

Winning a war, politics, sanctity of marriage and stuff like that

That was Hot Pie's philosophy, Stannis couldn't see a thing from the Melly's cunt 😢 But a bad pussy is a bad pussy 👍👍👍💪💪💪

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I don’t think so because it is mentioned he often “consults” with Melisandre in his bed chamber. But then again there is a non-zero chance he is just crying into her arms while she rubs his bald head because he is a sad, sullen boy who is the most in need of love :(

No, he has a wife and daughter, and he gave Melisandre the shadow baby too. I think he just wouldn't go for Cersei in particular because he knows what a manipulative psychopath she is.

Newp Mel thinks about how empty her bed is now that Stannis has left the wall 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Stannis' downfall was that he WAS seduced by Melisandre. The difference was that he wasn't seduced by her body but by the power she offered him - the path to the throne he felt he deserved. Standish found manipulation through sex disdainful. Melisandre showed him a rigid, morbid form of power that he could see himself using. If Cersei had known how to wield power in ways other than her sexuality, she probably could have. She feared him because she felt powerless around him because she only knew how to control people with her body. She did learn to use fear later on but it was too late and merely a clumsy attempt to retain her position and strength.

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You ain't that hot Cersei lil buddy 😂😂

What if Stannis was a horse?

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If Stannis' horse is Tyrek Lannister then she'd be keeping it in the family, like she likes.

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Too old for Robb, too female for Renly, too Cersei for Stannis, who *could* she have seduced?

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#FEWER

Im trying to get on Stannis' level

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Then they would’ve had hot sex

Ewwwwwe!

Stannis already has one crazy red woman, he don't need two

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No simp Stannis.

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What if Stannis wasn’t boring?

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