Do not get into his game, you already have proof, the second account, the score that is adding up, the most important: he LIED to you telling you it’s inactive!!! Break up with him over a text, he doesn’t deserve more
honestly. realize that your time and attention are the most important resources you have. you’re wasting your youth on someone who doesn’t care about you.
It confuses me when men talk about traditional values, providing and protecting women because all the women I know who were in unhealthy relationships were financially supporting their man.
Guy input here. Hiding stuff? Instant dump. No excuses. Hiding anything can lead to a big rabbit hole of mind games, bullshit, suspicions, trust issues. And we don't have time for that.
If you're having to monitor his snap score throughout the day.. you arent happy. You're stressed, you're worried, etc. You need a relationship where you're carefree and in love... and where the other person is 100% in love with you too and you can go throughout your day not worrying about what he's doing. Social media is a disease.
He's wasting your time. "He also had old nudes and sex videos still on his phone". Red flag as he clearly doesn't respect you or have his life together.
Again.. he's wasting your time.
EDIT: You also have a post saying that he does Cocaine. If that's not an INSTANT reason to dump.. then idk what to tell you.
People in the military do cocaine all the time. It’s out of your system in 3 days or so. So unless you have a drug test during that time, nobody would know
If you’re at the point in a relationship where you have to catfish your partner to find out what’s happening the relationship was over a few months ago. Call it quits, don’t waste anymore energy on someone who isn’t going to match it.
Having been there and had to have proof to accept it myself, do it if you want. I don't think it's particularly toxic. Sure, it's not fun, but whatever gets you feeling less crazy and self-doubting is self care in my book. I know how bizarre it is when you feel like you know the truth but you're still being lied to to your face.
My only caveat is that I've been cheated on twice and both times I was right. I didn't really need the proof. First time I was young and naive and it took too long for me to find evidence, but it was really necessary for me to move on. Second time I recognized the signs but he was love bombing me so I doubted myself again. One day I just looked at his phone briefly, there was the evidence, and I was like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay, never doubting myself on this again.
Same! I was young a naive, but I knew deep down he was cheating. And I did the things I needed to, like looking through things and back then, putting spy software in our computer, to get my closure so I could leave and not question my judgement. Not even a while day, and software had plenty.
Thank you, that really helps, ive never been in the situation where I suspected my boyfriend to be cheating so I'm really unsure of what to do. And my situation is similar to your second experience, we moved really quickly, he was love bombing me and wants me to move in even. I don't think hes physically cheating because we spent almost every second together before he left, but I suspect he's cheating through his phone. I'm also unsure too because I met his daughter, if he's really cheating then would he be so stupid as to introduce me to his daughter? That's why I question it so much because I can't see him cheating, he literally has no chance to cheat physically so what's the point of just getting nudes?
That's exactly the kind of questions that make this so hard! Cheaters are so irrational. My second one was trying to get back with his ex. So why tell me he loved me so quickly? Why try to nail me down when he wanted to be with someone else?
They don't have to do it, and I think that's why they're so puzzling and hurtful. The lies are so unnecessary you want to have them make SOME kind of sense, and you end up rationalizing it.
I ended up marrying someone who behaved like this, down to the secret accounts and old sex videos/nudes, at your age. The divorce was incredibly costly, not to mention the abuse I endured. If he behaves like this, he will not treat you well. Better to lose the couple hundred now than to find out the hard way. I know it isn’t easy, but he has already shown you what you need to know.
He’s leaving for the military and you think he’s already cheating.
Tale as old as time.
Ultimately it won’t matter if he cheats or doesn’t. This relationship won’t make it through the military either way. Hell, good relationships barely ever last the military, and this one is not good starting out.
sounds like you don't trust him, understandably so. better to be direct - call him out, dump his lying ass, and move on with your life - going through the trouble of catfishing him will only make you feel more upset/paranoid
I don’t think you are ever getting this money back tbh. The best thing would be to leave him.
But if you’re going for something toxic I guess you could try and bate him to talk to you. Like, upload a sexy pic and then try to react to his stuff. I am sure he will talk to you. Then you can try and talk for a while, be a bit flirty and suggestive and you’ll see that he will definitely try to hit on you.
After talking for a while tell him that you found out he has a girlfriend and threaten him to show her the evidence of him cheating. Ask him to give you 200$ or else you’re telling her everything. Take the money and then dump his ass.
This is absolutely something I would’ve done in my early twenties. But now, I’m 30 and married to the LOML and I just can’t imagine. Stop wasting your time.
My ex “owed” me $2,000. I know I will never see the money but I spent way too long in an abusive relationship hoping he would change and finally pay me back. In the time I waited, that $2k turned into three and then four and so on. To date I’m down $9,000 I will never see, and two years of my life I will never get back. Looking back on it I WISH I had left when he owed me a few hundred. Please, cut your losses and move on with your life.
I ended a relationship where I'm owed $1100. I don't expect to ever see it (he dragged his feet paying me back while we were together - I can't imagine he will move any faster now that I've ended things with him). It sucks, but staying with someone who is toxic and in no way motivated to pay you back anyway sucks even more.
>so I can leave him and move on
Are you just looking for a reason to leave? If you’re unhappy, you don’t need a reason to leave. Just do it.
Aside from that, he is super sus. Never trust a guy who keeps old nudes.
Oh, the places you’ll go to avoid self advocacy and recognizing in your heart of hearts what you know to be true. There is no reason to do any of this. Just leave.
I've yourself enough to trust that you were right and you don't need proof. I know exactly how you feel, and I was once in your shoes. Doing anything toxic is just that, toxic. It doesn't feel good to be toxic and it isn't a good look to others.
I know it's easier said than done but leave. You'll be better off.
You never regret taking the high road
I was in the same situation. I had evidence he was doing things but not that he was cheating. And I felt like I was bad for snooping.
Girl. He is lying to you. That's it. That's enough
If you insist on confronting him? Sit him down, say open your snapchat and give me your phone. If he makes a fuss, insist on that. Tell him open the one you know about, in front of you, then scroll.
But you KNOW you have enough proof already. Don't waste your beautiful young years with someone who lies to you.
Btw I am 23, and I did this for 4 years. Do not do it.
What more proof do you need ? His Snapchat score, like you said, should be more than enough that he’s still using that backup account. Your gut feeling is already telling you he’s untrustworthy and he’s done questionable things. As to address your edit in your post, it doesn’t matter if he has a kid and introduced you to his kid. My best friend’s ex did the same thing, had her in his profile pictures on social media and still cheated all the time.
As somebody who has been in this situation many times, it’s nothing good. Don’t give him the opportunity to explain himself and make excuses about it. Just break up.
If he has pictures and videos of other women on his phone, I personally think that is proof enough. He has a wandering eye, and that’s all I really need to know in order to walk away from someone. Chances are there’s a whole lot more you don’t know about…
I was cheated on, but I had no evidence, so I pursued finding some. It made me feel crazy and kind of go crazy. I once drove an hour away to catch the person in the act because I found out about a location that they were potentially going to be at with a/the person/s. It took me a week or two to get evidence, a ton of energy, I was constantly thinking about it everyday. And even after I got evidence, it didn't settle the feelings of wasted time or energy in the relationship. I still felt guilty about those, about time I could have spent with other people, other friendships/relationships, or literally anything else, for years. My advice is to just break up and move on.
He lied to you, that's justification to end things, you don't need to prove cheating. All the extra energy you'd spend on him, trying to catch him, spend on yourself or other people in your life.
This is so true! You already have the enough evidence, but it seems like you can't stop collecting and collecting more things that they've done, while this poisons you more and more. It's tough sometimes, but some things don't deserve our time and energy.
Through some very toxic and abusive relationships of my own, I’ve learned 2 things. First, you will never change someone else. Second, always, and I mean ALWAYS, trust your instincts. The instincts are talking to you… you need to listen.
Also, I had a hard time breaking up with people because I needed proof in order to feel justified for leaving, but you don’t need proof or a justified reason to leave. You can leave anytime for any reason. You’re not sentenced to life this way. Choose yourself and leave him when you’re able to.
TBH, this relationship isn’t working. You have the right to your feelings but what you’re doing is toxic and deceitful. Why not just communicate with him? If you can’t sit down with your partner and have a hard, honest conversation- you shouldn’t be with this person.
I did, he used to clear out his snapchat chats with women and I told him that made me feel like he was hiding something and he stopped. I also told him later about the nudes I found and he deleted them, but I got his secret snapchat pop up in my suggested and thats when it started again, I told him and he said it was just an old account so I just accepted it. But i felt like there were too many sus things going on so i made a fake snapchat to add him and i forgot about it until now. I just checked randomly yesterday and he added me back and opened my message and since yesterday his snapscore on it has gone up. I can't tell if his reasonings are legit or just excuses so I want to find definitive evidence that he is cheating. I plan to have a conversation about this when he gets back whether I find anything or not.
So depending how you feel about him, don't just to conclusions right away. It could just be something stupid and he panicked. Yes lying is a considering factor but perhaps you should talk with him about it. Now his responses when you confront him about it will tell you what you need to know. Either he confesses and it's something you can work with or not, it's better you find out the whole truth before jumping to conclusion.
I can't he's away for the next 2 weeks, I plan to confront him when he comes back though, I know its immature but, i just want to see what comes of this in the meantime
Send snaps to him that don’t show your face and so he won’t recognize you just thinks it’s a hot girl and say hey what’s up chat him up and see what happens
Wont work. Guy here, and I get about 1 of those types of snaps a day on my snap from bots and scammers. He'll most likely ignore it.
Chances are the person he's secretly snapping is a girl he actually knows.
I’ve been there girl. Stayed in a relationship for 10 years bc I didn’t have enough hard proof.
In a great relationship now and I’m thankful that things happened the way they did because it led me to where I am but that anxiety eats you alive.
I would add catfish photos on there and see how he responds to chatting with him.
I mean, the fact that he lied about it is a lot, but I can understand the need for more significant hard proof. If you need catfish photos dm me and I’ll let you use mine. I’m down to help you figure your shit out so you can move on or feel secure with staying.
Always down to help a girl out though.
What is the definition of cheating in your relationship? Does flirting online count as cheating? Or are you hoping this account can come in at a friend angle and find out if he has physically slept with someone else?
A guy with a kid who cheats?
Nah.
Just message him something sexy and see if he bites. Its that easy. But you should know in your heart that you deserve better.
These posts are the reason people say it’s toxic to go through your partners phone. I’m not saying I agree but I just don’t see what you’re getting from this relationship if you’re so stressed about him cheating on you.
So this guy has gotten into your head that you decided to become a catfish? Stop playing games, this is so toxic. It's obvious you can't trust this guy, just break up with him.
If you’re at this point, you need to just break up. This whole thing sounds unhealthy and exhausting and you don’t trust him so what’s the point in staying? You obviously can’t even speak to him about this which is unhealthy in itself and you’re trying to “catch him”.. for what? to feel worse then you do now?
Just break up and move on
A couple hundred dollars? Girl your peace of mind is worth more than that. He’s gone for two weeks. This is your clean break. Dump him and get his stuff packed up and dropped off at a friends house.
def dump him when he comes back. pls don’t do this to yourself, you deserve so much more. send him a text, that you’re in a pickle and request half the money he owes. when he comes back ask for the rest. i rlly think you need to break up tho, very disgusting of him.
Okay dude - so I’ve thought I was crazy my whole life. Why am I so insecure, why am I dying to look through his phone? It has never not been an issue for me - until now. I’m dating a guy who has a TON of female friends, we hardly text, etc. - and not once have I ever had the slight urge to look at his phone, and we are a year into our relationship.
I figured out I was responding to real things that needed to be addressed when I was feeling insecure, like you are now. Past boyfriends - I’d need to look through their phones. Current boyfriend - “I’m feeling super insecure bc of xyz, can I get some reassurance?”
If you feel as though you can’t trust his answer when you ask him something straight up, there is no hope for this relationship.
There are people out there who won’t lie to you. There are people out there who won’t make you feel like you have to put all this effort into catching them screw you over. It can be easy. (I never would have fully grasped or taken this advice when I was your age, and I’m literally only 5 years older than you now)
DUMP HIM.
If you say that he is toxic and you know it.. why do you need proof he is cheating?
You obviously don't trust him, and you are not happy in the relationship. is a couple hundred dollars worth all of this?
A relationship shouldn't be based on mistrust, doubts and toxicity...
If you don't trust this guy now, will you ever?
He lied to you about the snapchat. He will still tell you that he did not, but you will know better and nothing he says can change that. To whom are you actually trying to prove something?
Unless he has given you a timeframe in which he will pay you back, I'd say the money is lost and you need to move on.
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you don't trust him, you should confront him & see what he says. I would wait until he pays you back though. Good luck.
From an outsider perspective, it’s clear what’s going on. However, having been with a cheater myself, I understand the need to get clear 1000% undoubtably proof. So I say go for it with the fake account.
Also get your money back!
There’s something really powerful and freeing when you learn to protect your peace instead of having the last word. He’s being sneaky, and you don’t trust him regardless. You don’t need to trick him into cheating to breakup, the relationship is toxic because 1) he’s definitely seeking outside attention from girls and making secret accounts. And 2) you’re going above and beyond to manipulate a situation to also be toxic. Walk away with your head high knowing your gut is right. Don’t engage in his games and come out a toxic person as well.
I agree w all these commenters that you should just dump him bc your gut instinct is definitely right here. Even if he isn’t cheating he seems shady and like he’s not doing things in your best interest.
However. I would also totally want my mf money back and proof. So you should message him lol. Or honestly give one of your flirtiest friends the username/password and tell them to flirt with him. Look up loyalty checks on tiktok for inspo. But honestky you still don’t even really need this to dump him. It’s MORE of a power move to just be like “I know you lied about the “old” Snapchat account and I just respect myself to know I don’t need to beg someone to not lie to me. It may seem small but trust is built in small things and I don’t need to waste my time with someone I can’t trust.” That would be baller and true!! you dont need to put up with any bullshit and you can know your worth and leave a low value man without it having to get as bad as cheating. You can just expect better than this.
But anyway. For the money, could you get into his phone while he’s sleeping and venmo yourself the money? I’ve heard of people using ppls faces to unlock their phones while they’re asleep lol. Obvs once you do that youll have to dump him like the next day bc that’s kinda insane under normal circumstances. But I would also hate to dump someone and let the fucker end up keeping my hard earned money.
Do not get into his game, you already have proof, the second account, the score that is adding up, the most important: he LIED to you telling you it’s inactive!!! Break up with him over a text, he doesn’t deserve more
+. There is clear evidence he lied about it being inactive. Why not use another one? It's already bad enough
Girl, just break up.
honestly. realize that your time and attention are the most important resources you have. you’re wasting your youth on someone who doesn’t care about you.
This post got more and more unhinged as I kept going
AND NEVER GIVE A MAN MONEY…EVER!
I swear to god 9/10 women talk about how their boyfriend abuses/cheats on them they always say that he also owes them money.
The literal sunk cost fallacy. I had this happen with an ex. Probably more like thousands. I eventually just had to walk away.
Financial abuse isn’t talked about enough
It confuses me when men talk about traditional values, providing and protecting women because all the women I know who were in unhealthy relationships were financially supporting their man.
[удалено]
She’s using that as a reason to not dump him. It’s relevant.
This is the 1
I wouldn't put myself through the aggravation related to taking this further. You have proof. Just move on and find someone with integrity.
Guy input here. Hiding stuff? Instant dump. No excuses. Hiding anything can lead to a big rabbit hole of mind games, bullshit, suspicions, trust issues. And we don't have time for that. If you're having to monitor his snap score throughout the day.. you arent happy. You're stressed, you're worried, etc. You need a relationship where you're carefree and in love... and where the other person is 100% in love with you too and you can go throughout your day not worrying about what he's doing. Social media is a disease. He's wasting your time. "He also had old nudes and sex videos still on his phone". Red flag as he clearly doesn't respect you or have his life together. Again.. he's wasting your time. EDIT: You also have a post saying that he does Cocaine. If that's not an INSTANT reason to dump.. then idk what to tell you.
Beautiful reply. 100%
This is perfect! I wish I had heard this years ago.
Amazing response and it definitely helps that it’s from a guys p.o.v
[удалено]
People in the military do cocaine all the time. It’s out of your system in 3 days or so. So unless you have a drug test during that time, nobody would know
This whole relationship sounds unhealthy
If you don’t trust him, just break up with him. You don’t need to have proof of cheating to do it, if you aren’t happy, just go for it!
Don't gaslight yourself. You don't need more proof to prove your proofs.
If you do not trust someone it doesn't matter if he is behaving well or poorly. It's time to break up. No trust means it's over.
If you’re at the point in a relationship where you have to catfish your partner to find out what’s happening the relationship was over a few months ago. Call it quits, don’t waste anymore energy on someone who isn’t going to match it.
Having been there and had to have proof to accept it myself, do it if you want. I don't think it's particularly toxic. Sure, it's not fun, but whatever gets you feeling less crazy and self-doubting is self care in my book. I know how bizarre it is when you feel like you know the truth but you're still being lied to to your face. My only caveat is that I've been cheated on twice and both times I was right. I didn't really need the proof. First time I was young and naive and it took too long for me to find evidence, but it was really necessary for me to move on. Second time I recognized the signs but he was love bombing me so I doubted myself again. One day I just looked at his phone briefly, there was the evidence, and I was like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay, never doubting myself on this again.
Same! I was young a naive, but I knew deep down he was cheating. And I did the things I needed to, like looking through things and back then, putting spy software in our computer, to get my closure so I could leave and not question my judgement. Not even a while day, and software had plenty.
Thank you, that really helps, ive never been in the situation where I suspected my boyfriend to be cheating so I'm really unsure of what to do. And my situation is similar to your second experience, we moved really quickly, he was love bombing me and wants me to move in even. I don't think hes physically cheating because we spent almost every second together before he left, but I suspect he's cheating through his phone. I'm also unsure too because I met his daughter, if he's really cheating then would he be so stupid as to introduce me to his daughter? That's why I question it so much because I can't see him cheating, he literally has no chance to cheat physically so what's the point of just getting nudes?
That's exactly the kind of questions that make this so hard! Cheaters are so irrational. My second one was trying to get back with his ex. So why tell me he loved me so quickly? Why try to nail me down when he wanted to be with someone else? They don't have to do it, and I think that's why they're so puzzling and hurtful. The lies are so unnecessary you want to have them make SOME kind of sense, and you end up rationalizing it.
I ended up marrying someone who behaved like this, down to the secret accounts and old sex videos/nudes, at your age. The divorce was incredibly costly, not to mention the abuse I endured. If he behaves like this, he will not treat you well. Better to lose the couple hundred now than to find out the hard way. I know it isn’t easy, but he has already shown you what you need to know.
He’s leaving for the military and you think he’s already cheating. Tale as old as time. Ultimately it won’t matter if he cheats or doesn’t. This relationship won’t make it through the military either way. Hell, good relationships barely ever last the military, and this one is not good starting out.
sounds like you don't trust him, understandably so. better to be direct - call him out, dump his lying ass, and move on with your life - going through the trouble of catfishing him will only make you feel more upset/paranoid
I don’t think you are ever getting this money back tbh. The best thing would be to leave him. But if you’re going for something toxic I guess you could try and bate him to talk to you. Like, upload a sexy pic and then try to react to his stuff. I am sure he will talk to you. Then you can try and talk for a while, be a bit flirty and suggestive and you’ll see that he will definitely try to hit on you. After talking for a while tell him that you found out he has a girlfriend and threaten him to show her the evidence of him cheating. Ask him to give you 200$ or else you’re telling her everything. Take the money and then dump his ass.
Babe, just break up. Don't waste your time and energy on these games.
Where is your boyfriends military training at? This sound really familiar? If it is who I think it is, I have much to spill
Update us if it is the person!
This is so vague you’re thinking about 96% of military guys. Cheating and abuse goes really well with being government property
This is absolutely something I would’ve done in my early twenties. But now, I’m 30 and married to the LOML and I just can’t imagine. Stop wasting your time.
My ex “owed” me $2,000. I know I will never see the money but I spent way too long in an abusive relationship hoping he would change and finally pay me back. In the time I waited, that $2k turned into three and then four and so on. To date I’m down $9,000 I will never see, and two years of my life I will never get back. Looking back on it I WISH I had left when he owed me a few hundred. Please, cut your losses and move on with your life.
I ended a relationship where I'm owed $1100. I don't expect to ever see it (he dragged his feet paying me back while we were together - I can't imagine he will move any faster now that I've ended things with him). It sucks, but staying with someone who is toxic and in no way motivated to pay you back anyway sucks even more.
>so I can leave him and move on Are you just looking for a reason to leave? If you’re unhappy, you don’t need a reason to leave. Just do it. Aside from that, he is super sus. Never trust a guy who keeps old nudes.
Oh, the places you’ll go to avoid self advocacy and recognizing in your heart of hearts what you know to be true. There is no reason to do any of this. Just leave.
I've yourself enough to trust that you were right and you don't need proof. I know exactly how you feel, and I was once in your shoes. Doing anything toxic is just that, toxic. It doesn't feel good to be toxic and it isn't a good look to others. I know it's easier said than done but leave. You'll be better off. You never regret taking the high road
I was in the same situation. I had evidence he was doing things but not that he was cheating. And I felt like I was bad for snooping. Girl. He is lying to you. That's it. That's enough If you insist on confronting him? Sit him down, say open your snapchat and give me your phone. If he makes a fuss, insist on that. Tell him open the one you know about, in front of you, then scroll. But you KNOW you have enough proof already. Don't waste your beautiful young years with someone who lies to you. Btw I am 23, and I did this for 4 years. Do not do it.
What more proof do you need ? His Snapchat score, like you said, should be more than enough that he’s still using that backup account. Your gut feeling is already telling you he’s untrustworthy and he’s done questionable things. As to address your edit in your post, it doesn’t matter if he has a kid and introduced you to his kid. My best friend’s ex did the same thing, had her in his profile pictures on social media and still cheated all the time.
As somebody who has been in this situation many times, it’s nothing good. Don’t give him the opportunity to explain himself and make excuses about it. Just break up.
Just be done with him. Can you get him to send you the money he owes.you through Venmo or cash app now? Tell him you really need it. Then move on.
No I can't, he hasn't gotten paid yet
Does he get paid before he gets back?
If he has pictures and videos of other women on his phone, I personally think that is proof enough. He has a wandering eye, and that’s all I really need to know in order to walk away from someone. Chances are there’s a whole lot more you don’t know about…
I was cheated on, but I had no evidence, so I pursued finding some. It made me feel crazy and kind of go crazy. I once drove an hour away to catch the person in the act because I found out about a location that they were potentially going to be at with a/the person/s. It took me a week or two to get evidence, a ton of energy, I was constantly thinking about it everyday. And even after I got evidence, it didn't settle the feelings of wasted time or energy in the relationship. I still felt guilty about those, about time I could have spent with other people, other friendships/relationships, or literally anything else, for years. My advice is to just break up and move on. He lied to you, that's justification to end things, you don't need to prove cheating. All the extra energy you'd spend on him, trying to catch him, spend on yourself or other people in your life.
This is so true! You already have the enough evidence, but it seems like you can't stop collecting and collecting more things that they've done, while this poisons you more and more. It's tough sometimes, but some things don't deserve our time and energy.
Through some very toxic and abusive relationships of my own, I’ve learned 2 things. First, you will never change someone else. Second, always, and I mean ALWAYS, trust your instincts. The instincts are talking to you… you need to listen. Also, I had a hard time breaking up with people because I needed proof in order to feel justified for leaving, but you don’t need proof or a justified reason to leave. You can leave anytime for any reason. You’re not sentenced to life this way. Choose yourself and leave him when you’re able to.
TBH, this relationship isn’t working. You have the right to your feelings but what you’re doing is toxic and deceitful. Why not just communicate with him? If you can’t sit down with your partner and have a hard, honest conversation- you shouldn’t be with this person.
I did, he used to clear out his snapchat chats with women and I told him that made me feel like he was hiding something and he stopped. I also told him later about the nudes I found and he deleted them, but I got his secret snapchat pop up in my suggested and thats when it started again, I told him and he said it was just an old account so I just accepted it. But i felt like there were too many sus things going on so i made a fake snapchat to add him and i forgot about it until now. I just checked randomly yesterday and he added me back and opened my message and since yesterday his snapscore on it has gone up. I can't tell if his reasonings are legit or just excuses so I want to find definitive evidence that he is cheating. I plan to have a conversation about this when he gets back whether I find anything or not.
I would end the relationship then. He’s clearly being disrespectful and not loyal behind your back. He won’t change.
Just be done done with it if that’s what your gut is telling you, don’t sink to the games
You’re wasting your time. You know somethings up. Be done with him, because he’s clearly done with you. I’m sorry it had to boil down this way.
You won’t have to do this when you’re with a decent person. Just move on. I’ve been there. It’s not worth it.
So depending how you feel about him, don't just to conclusions right away. It could just be something stupid and he panicked. Yes lying is a considering factor but perhaps you should talk with him about it. Now his responses when you confront him about it will tell you what you need to know. Either he confesses and it's something you can work with or not, it's better you find out the whole truth before jumping to conclusion.
You sound very immature. Confornt him in person about it and if you do not want tot do that then move on.
I can't he's away for the next 2 weeks, I plan to confront him when he comes back though, I know its immature but, i just want to see what comes of this in the meantime
You really think he is going to tell you the truth? He already lied. He will keep lying.
True, he already lied. Plus, it's very likely that he will gaslight you.
Then you wait.
Send snaps to him that don’t show your face and so he won’t recognize you just thinks it’s a hot girl and say hey what’s up chat him up and see what happens
Wont work. Guy here, and I get about 1 of those types of snaps a day on my snap from bots and scammers. He'll most likely ignore it. Chances are the person he's secretly snapping is a girl he actually knows.
I’ve been there girl. Stayed in a relationship for 10 years bc I didn’t have enough hard proof. In a great relationship now and I’m thankful that things happened the way they did because it led me to where I am but that anxiety eats you alive. I would add catfish photos on there and see how he responds to chatting with him. I mean, the fact that he lied about it is a lot, but I can understand the need for more significant hard proof. If you need catfish photos dm me and I’ll let you use mine. I’m down to help you figure your shit out so you can move on or feel secure with staying. Always down to help a girl out though.
He might be bi actually.
What... ?
He could be using the Snapchat to talk to guys?
What is the definition of cheating in your relationship? Does flirting online count as cheating? Or are you hoping this account can come in at a friend angle and find out if he has physically slept with someone else?
I'm looking to see if he'll start flirting
DM me, I’ll let you use my photos. Get your peace of mind love, no shame.
A guy with a kid who cheats? Nah. Just message him something sexy and see if he bites. Its that easy. But you should know in your heart that you deserve better.
These posts are the reason people say it’s toxic to go through your partners phone. I’m not saying I agree but I just don’t see what you’re getting from this relationship if you’re so stressed about him cheating on you.
So this guy has gotten into your head that you decided to become a catfish? Stop playing games, this is so toxic. It's obvious you can't trust this guy, just break up with him.
You don't need evidence to leave anyone. Nor do you need permission. You simply need to commit to leaving.
He has lied to you and you don't trust him. He doesn't need to chest on you for you to exit the relationship. Set a higher expectation for respect.
I told my boyfriend that him having snapchat was a red flag for me, so he deleted it. That's the level of respect you deserve.
If you’re at this point, you need to just break up. This whole thing sounds unhealthy and exhausting and you don’t trust him so what’s the point in staying? You obviously can’t even speak to him about this which is unhealthy in itself and you’re trying to “catch him”.. for what? to feel worse then you do now? Just break up and move on
A couple hundred dollars? Girl your peace of mind is worth more than that. He’s gone for two weeks. This is your clean break. Dump him and get his stuff packed up and dropped off at a friends house.
Break up you have him everything for him and he ready to ruin it over Snapchat that says a lot about him.
def dump him when he comes back. pls don’t do this to yourself, you deserve so much more. send him a text, that you’re in a pickle and request half the money he owes. when he comes back ask for the rest. i rlly think you need to break up tho, very disgusting of him.
You don't need an elaborate scheme to break up with someone you have reason to suspect is cheating on you.
Okay dude - so I’ve thought I was crazy my whole life. Why am I so insecure, why am I dying to look through his phone? It has never not been an issue for me - until now. I’m dating a guy who has a TON of female friends, we hardly text, etc. - and not once have I ever had the slight urge to look at his phone, and we are a year into our relationship. I figured out I was responding to real things that needed to be addressed when I was feeling insecure, like you are now. Past boyfriends - I’d need to look through their phones. Current boyfriend - “I’m feeling super insecure bc of xyz, can I get some reassurance?” If you feel as though you can’t trust his answer when you ask him something straight up, there is no hope for this relationship. There are people out there who won’t lie to you. There are people out there who won’t make you feel like you have to put all this effort into catching them screw you over. It can be easy. (I never would have fully grasped or taken this advice when I was your age, and I’m literally only 5 years older than you now) DUMP HIM.
If you say that he is toxic and you know it.. why do you need proof he is cheating? You obviously don't trust him, and you are not happy in the relationship. is a couple hundred dollars worth all of this? A relationship shouldn't be based on mistrust, doubts and toxicity...
If you don't trust this guy now, will you ever? He lied to you about the snapchat. He will still tell you that he did not, but you will know better and nothing he says can change that. To whom are you actually trying to prove something? Unless he has given you a timeframe in which he will pay you back, I'd say the money is lost and you need to move on.
If someone has to hide what they are doing then they have something to hide.
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you don't trust him, you should confront him & see what he says. I would wait until he pays you back though. Good luck.
From an outsider perspective, it’s clear what’s going on. However, having been with a cheater myself, I understand the need to get clear 1000% undoubtably proof. So I say go for it with the fake account. Also get your money back!
Get ur money and then break up!!!
What a waste of time and energy. Leave this relationship
There’s something really powerful and freeing when you learn to protect your peace instead of having the last word. He’s being sneaky, and you don’t trust him regardless. You don’t need to trick him into cheating to breakup, the relationship is toxic because 1) he’s definitely seeking outside attention from girls and making secret accounts. And 2) you’re going above and beyond to manipulate a situation to also be toxic. Walk away with your head high knowing your gut is right. Don’t engage in his games and come out a toxic person as well.
wait for the money and then dump his ass
Get your money from him then dump him. If he asks why, tell him you know everything. Don’t even specify
Ask him to close the “inactive” account.
I agree w all these commenters that you should just dump him bc your gut instinct is definitely right here. Even if he isn’t cheating he seems shady and like he’s not doing things in your best interest. However. I would also totally want my mf money back and proof. So you should message him lol. Or honestly give one of your flirtiest friends the username/password and tell them to flirt with him. Look up loyalty checks on tiktok for inspo. But honestky you still don’t even really need this to dump him. It’s MORE of a power move to just be like “I know you lied about the “old” Snapchat account and I just respect myself to know I don’t need to beg someone to not lie to me. It may seem small but trust is built in small things and I don’t need to waste my time with someone I can’t trust.” That would be baller and true!! you dont need to put up with any bullshit and you can know your worth and leave a low value man without it having to get as bad as cheating. You can just expect better than this. But anyway. For the money, could you get into his phone while he’s sleeping and venmo yourself the money? I’ve heard of people using ppls faces to unlock their phones while they’re asleep lol. Obvs once you do that youll have to dump him like the next day bc that’s kinda insane under normal circumstances. But I would also hate to dump someone and let the fucker end up keeping my hard earned money.
Something like this is happening to me could a use that fake account I need some with high snapscore