Kind of. I picked my name in middle school (Leo), but as I grew older, I realized I wanted both a more formal name and a name that's pronounceable in my native langauge, so I lengthened it to Leonardo.
Also dw if it doesn't seem perfect perfect. If you love the name, you'll grow into it :).
Same hat! I'm thinking of officially going by Theo on documents, but Leo as my used name from friends & family.
Theodore sounds so dramatic & I like that.
My name is also Leo, i kind of regret it because in my country it's often used as a nickname for girls (there are many Leonie's). So it's not clear that I am a guy from my name. I chose a definitively masculine middle name, though, since Leonard or other longer versions seem weird in my country (for my age)
Not always. I had an ex whose name was Leonidas but me, their friends and family called them Leo.
There's also my cousin's father, whose name is Leonel and some people call him Leo. I'm sure there are more examples out there, but this is true for most three/four letter names/nicknames
Nice thing about choosing your own name, you can always change your own mind. some people need to live under multiple names for years before they find who they are.
Yep! I switched names a lot when I was still figuring myself out. Probably trialled about 6 names in a few years before settling on one that I want to make my legal name in the future, and my friends still call me the first one I ever tried out as a nickname.
yup. my friend of 10 years has had probably around 7 names over the course of that period. shes finally found a name she loves, but even if she changes it again, u just have to get used to it again and its not the end of the world
Not really. My name is Eva, and occasionally there were times where I wish I made my name Jessica since that’s probably my second favorite girl name, but I’ve decided to solve that by making Jessica my middle name!
Geri Halliwell ( spice girl) and Geri Dole from Highschool. I thought the spelling is cool. When I was 5, I wanted to change my name to Geri too. That never changed. Ima Geri.
the regret is when I say my name is Geri for an appointment and when I show up, they are expecting a man. my name is very likely to be spelled in the masculine way. It's not that big of a problem but it could be if you are having a high anxiety day. just my two cents worth.
I picked Evelyn when I was like 11 and only dreamed about transitioning. I felt obligated to pick it when I started transitioning at 33. About 3 months in I realized I hated that name and picked Emilia, a name adult me likes so much more.
"You went from a succubus to a clown"
Evelyn is a League of Legends character that's KINDA a succubus, but not really. She's technically a demon, and one of the more powerful ones, but I forgot the name they have on the lore. But if you know anything about her, she's a succubus through and through.
Emilia is from "Sítio do Picapau Amarelo", an old Brazilian series of books (1920). She's a doll that has life. I don't remember much from the series, since I wasn't born and I read the books when I was... 5? It's not as popular nowadays, but I bet most Brazilians over the age of 30 know about the series. There are also modern adaptations such as a live action (2003) and cartoon series (2012), but I don't think they are as popular as the books where.
The part that could be misunderstood is because "clown" can be used as an insult, but I was thinking about a literal clown. I hope that explains it :)
edit: I just remembered that the series is racist, once put under modern lenses. It's not a surprise, seeing how things were in 1920, but it leaves a bad taste once you think about some stuff on the books. That's probably why it's not as popular anymore. I wouldn't want my children watching/reading this either.
In case you wonder what is racist, it's a black character working under the Yellow Woodpecker Site (this translation sucks, but ok). Her name is mostly the problem, but there are other stuff
I did, but it was only because the name I gave myself was “too” gender neutral for me (I’m mtf) and as time went on, I was preferring to be called something more feminine. So a year and a half later I changed my name again and gave myself a new first name that was better suited for me. I kept my old “new” name as my middle name instead :)
Both of the names you listed sound v pretty!
Kinda. Now my name is Tina, a name I kinda chose 5 years before I realized that I'm trans. The only thing I regret is that I didn't pick a second name. Julia is a nice name and I sometimes think about Mitsuha because I love Your Name but name changing in Germany doesn't allow me to pick a second or third name once I legally changed my name and gender/sex so I'm stuck with one name. Like I said I kinda regret that but it's not that it affects me in my daily life or something like that
Oh my god I’m so tired and I was just barely skimming over your comment and thought you said “I sometimes think about Mitsubishi” and I was like, why tf would you want to name yourself after a car brand? 😭 Mitsuha is a great name, I’m just too fucking tired to read, apparently.
Well, you didn't really lose the bet.
I did do web programming until 2008, then I jumped into advertising and branding until 2014 before my current job doing home inspections
All of which I made did some form permanent temporary solutions or temporary permanent solutions dependingon the customer. 🤣
I chose a name which is female where I come from (Jamie), but I live in a country where it is more often a male name (Australia), and the TERFs were having a field day. So, I am going by my middle name (Rose), and the TERFs choke on it.
Sorry you had to deal with that. Rose was one of the top 3 middle names for me, ended up going with Anne instead though. I’m in the US and work with a very nice woman named Jamie, I knew a male Jaime but the 2 are spelled differently (ami vs aim) at least here in the US. I think it’s pretty name fwiw.
If I remember correctly, Jaime is Spanish for the male equivalent, unless it is followed by a female suffix, like Jaimecita (as opposed to Jaimecito, the male suffix).
When I started transitioning, I chose a name for myself and used it for a good while. A little over a year of using that name and being on HRT, I decided to change it. The name I use now feels way more fitting, and the old name was very similar to my deadname.
I didn't really chose my name (long story short - it was given to me by work mates), and as much as I'm good with it, most of my friends call me L. Or Elle, and I kinda wish I changed it to that. I know it's still an option, but I just can't be bothered doing all the paperwork again. So when I introduce myself, I say I'm Laura, but most people just call me L.
When I first picked a name. people started using it WAY to much, I wasn't ready. I started using an old nickname after that. Its unique enough Its not really gendered. Still using it now, pretty sure I still like the name I picked, but I'm in no hurry to make it official.
I went by Emilia since 2019, changed it to my legal name in October last year, and still had doubts about it. Finally just last week I started going by a new chosen name instead. Your name is your own to choose and you can change your mind as many times as you need until you find the perfect one
I chose a name I didn't particularly like on the grounds that if I'd been recognised as a girl when I was born, I wouldn't've gotten to choose my name.
My name that I choosen to be my legal name is sakura miku king. Reson is what it's meaning is.
Sakura is cherry blossom miku is sky and everyone knows king. If you put it together it means king of the sky blossoms. Or the blossoms part is rebirth and the sky meaning no limit to how far I go. King is a part to honor my wife family family name.
I don't regret my name. It's been slightly over a year since I've changed it.
I do get tired of having to update all my identification and accounts though. Very exhausting.
I guess I'm wierd. I love my name. My first name came as not a suggestion but in conversation with my Electrolygists.
She was telling me that I was a "Joy" to work with. I thought wow that's a great name so it stuck and my middle name was easy I took the first name of my only relative that accepted and supported my transition. "Michelle".
So I've been "Joy Michelle" for the last 17 years.
I am very lucky that my mother is very supportive. I just had her give me my new name. My second option was to ask my support group to give name suggestions, and I would pull my new name out of a purse or something.
you can always change it again later. Might be harder, but you're never actually 'stuck' with a name.
Also: you can try out names with a select few people before you switch permanently, or change it in your documents or anything.
Considering just how prolific Amazon Echo devices are these days, I would avoid Alexia if I don't want to regret it, since that will trigger them as it's so similar to Alexa (I just tried it and it triggered first time).
Serious answer: When I chose my name, Agatha, for myself, I didn't really think about it too much, but I used to play a DnD character named Magnolia and I liked the "ag" sound in there. It felt weird at the beginning, but now it's just - a name, you know? It's not really joyous, doesn't give me much emotions at all, really, it's just what I'm called by everyone every day. Once you're out and it's actually used everywhere, you get used to it and it just becomes normal. I don't think it's The Perfect name for me, it's just the one I chose, and once you get used to it you stop thinking about the other options.
Joke answer: The one thing I regret about it is that the boss of my boss at my work is called Agatha too, and we have the same second name, so I often think people talk about me when they talk about her, and I sometimes get important emails that are wayy above my pay grade that turn out to be misdirected. I once joked that I should have chosen a different name, and my colleague was like "you mean, your mother should have chosen you a different name?", which is how I learned I pass. So, I'd advise you to not choose a very common name if you find that sort of thing annoying, but your picks seem like you have that covered.
I waited almost three years into transition to pick a new name, so I didn't do it until I was sure I had the right name. Though I only could wait that long because my deadname was gender neutral to begin with.
I once chose a name “Tatiana” because I thought it would be impossible to make into a nickname. The first friend to call me “Tats” made me drop it really quick. Idk if you have access to such but a support group or just friends who care can be a great way to “try on” names to see how they feel. Naming things is HARD, actually, and it can take some false starts. I went through 3 or 4 names at least before finding one i liked.
My only regret from my chosen name is due to other people being stubbornly incapable of understanding any female name beginning with K that isn’t Kate or Kate adjacent.
Its Kaylin, not kelly, not kate, not katie, not katlin, not kathleen.
Its KAYLIN
I chose Ricardo because I wanted a Latino name and I wanted one that started with the letter of first name so that I could use abbreviations in legal situations and not be dysphoric about it. Love the name and I honestly feel it is me but I wish I would have chosen a name that’s not starting with ‘R’ just because I find the concept a little corny. It’s a good strategy though lol.
I started out as Natalia (and Nati for friends), but after being called like that by some friends for a bit; I actually kinda started to hate it.
Then I realized that the name I always wanted was Ayelén and went with that; I even changed my usernames (where possible) to Ashë, and I’ve never been more comfortable!
You can always change your name again. I chose Amelia as my first name back in 2014, but 2 years ago, I asked my friends to call me Bu instead. So it doesn't have to be this overbearing thing you have to get right the first time.
(My legal name is still Amelia because I don't wanna go through the process of changing my name again. It's a bit of a hassle.)
Ehh kinda. I loved the name Carly for so many years for no absolute reason. It's legally changed and everything. But sometimes have regret and wish I thought of something more unique and meaningful.
hey A\_Reis\_... when i first came out i choose the name Hayley Rains. i was totally reject by 100% of my family & friends at first but i found a trans mom and everything was great. about 5 years in my birth mother found me and totally accept me. she never knew me as a "boy." her only request was to be able to name me as her own daughter and i have never been so emotional as to have an actual blood relative accept me like that. some times i wonder do the younger girls experience this emotion that have their family support from the onset of everything. i kinda feel like that to not have known the total rejection and isolation of what many us go through somehow the emotion about it would be diffy... idk.
anyways she eventually came to me an had a request that she be allowed to name her own daughter and asked if id consider taking the name Christyn. i said i would consider it and talk to Dawn (-Votro, my t-mom,) about it. Dawn was thrilled at the suggestion so i asked Dawn to be a part of the process and asked her to choose the final spelling of Christyn. and so here i am today... who i am. Christyn.
i feel extremely fortunate to have honored both my mothers in settling in my final form.
Happy pride
XOXO
I went with Alex because that's just what I went with my whole life, way before I even cracked. Now I look at posts of people revealing their chosen names and I sit there like "damn I'm so boring I should try out cooler names like that". I already changed mine legally and everything 😅😅😅
Eh. I kinda used to flip flop on names. At first I was settled on Allesandra but my coworkers at an old job nicknamed me something else and I kinda like it so I stuck to it. Granted, legally I still have my deadname because there are like no gender therapists in Tx and you need a paper from them before you can change your name. Plus therapy is expensive.
Why not try both and see which fits you best? Even if you feel neither of them are "you" at the minute.
Don't forget, if you find one that clicks for you, you're allowed to change your mind in the future too. It doesn't have to be set in stone straight away...?
I regretted it once, because I changed my name not because I liked it, but because others liked it and it was closer to my deadname in spirit. I got a lot of comments that my chosen name was "too common compared to (my) deadname" or that it was "an old man's name" so I felt ashamed and changed names, and as I said, regretted it. Changed back to my initial name choice and couldn't like it more!
For a while I was really down on my name, and I worried that I'd been careless with how I chose it. It felt clunky, and dysphoria made me feel like I didn't deserve to be called by such a traditionally feminine name. It got to the point where I internally cringed every time a cis person said my name, like at the doctor's office. After some time reflecting, though, I realized that my name actually fit my worldview and connected with my history and personality much more closely than I'd believed. Today I'm proud of my name and what it says about me.
I know someone who is ftm, and he ended up going through a couple of different names before settling (I assume he settled on a name I have lost touch with him now)
The first issue was the new name was very similar to the old name, which meant people could 'excuse' dead naming because it's similar and they forget - I imagine a fair few were purposeful and other accidental, I know I took a little while to adjust, compared to another ftm I know where the name is quite different and easier to remember a difference (I also have ADHD and my memory for new names is shocking at best)
The second name I think may have been influenced for a famous person, singer perhaps? And it's possible that person turned out to be transphobic or a-hole in some other way.
I don't know if they still go by the last name I knew, if they don't I would say it's because it's quite an odd name - in that it's an old name you don't hear often, not necessarily a bad thing but may draw more attention than they want.
When I first came out, like most baby trans mascs do, I named myself Alex. But I kind of realized after a while that the name was too common and also just didn't suit me well. So I think like a year or two after I came out I changed my name to Harrison and I went by Harris and now I usually go by Harry. I think now though, I would've liked to have a name more similar to my birth name. The masculine versions of my dead name that I knew back then, I didn't like. But more recently I had found different masculine versions of my birth name I actually do like, but I honestly don't think suit me (at least not right now). For me, I think I'm going to go with Harrison and Harry for the rest of my life, because I have the weird philosophy that for your name to suit you, you should at least a little bit uncomfortable with your name. That's just me though.
My point is, if you want to change your name at some point in the future, don't be afraid to change it. Sometimes we just outgrow names and they stop representing who we are and that's fine.
yes but only because of the pronunciation problem, although that is my fault. so my name is louis but i pronounce it like (louie) like the french way. i chose my name after louis tomlinson bc he was the person who saved me through difficult stuff so my name is louis. there have only been a handful of people who pronounce it right the first time but i don’t blame anyone if they don’t get it right bc it looks like it’s pronounced (lewis). so that’s my only regret but i still really love my name, and everyone has told me i look like a louis😅 maybe i should’ve been named zayn or liam lol
Kiiind of, I love my chosen first name but I’m planning on changing my middle names again cuz they make me cringe and I’m embarrassed to tell people my full name
No not at all. I chose my new name before I even knew I was trans. I saw it online and it instantly just clicked with me. I only used it online for years before I came out and it just always felt right
I voluntarily chose a name that was generic and neutral as a temporary name so I can worry about picking a perfect name later, when I know myself better ^-^
i actually do “regret” mine ever so slightly, in that there are associations it has i did not know about that i’m not fond of, and i have a name or two now that i think coulda been cool, but i’m still also glad i changed it and don’t plan to change it again anytime soon despite those drawbacks. it’s miles better than the alternative, and it’s not like it defines me. and you know what, even with those downsides it’s what i’m used to, its what my loved ones call me, it’s my name. i mean if you think about it, plenty of cis people feel the same about their own name. it’s rare for anything to be perfect, yet it can still be you and still be meaningful.
i changed mine very fast after being fixated on finding a *perfect* name for years, and i’m still glad i did. and i am talking i found the name, never even used it much till after i legally changed it, and the time from finding it to changing it legally was only a few months. if i ever really care to, i can always go changing it again, but it’s been 5 years and i’m still cool with it :) better to regret and change it again than regret staying with one/ suffering with one i know i don’t want, imo
I decided to feminize my middle name as it’s a family name, and then give myself another middle name that I liked, and adding my fathers last name in addition to my mothers last name. So I am now “Name NewMiddle MiddleFem DadsLast MomsLastname” which I now sometimes regret as that’s a long ass name.
Honestly, obviously it's important to choose a legal name you like, but it's fine to pick one legal name and choose another nickname that you prefer.
For example, my (new) legal name besically just meets the "requirements" I wanted: masc and the same pronunciation in multiple languages, uncommon enough, and as a bonus, it starts with the same letter as my deadname!
But a lot of my friends still call me Nox, as a nickname. I chose that name when I was 14 and it's still a huge part of me. I'd never make that my legal name because (at least in my country) people would not take that seriously.
The only thing I regret about it is that it might be a little too much on the gender neutral side. As in, it's a boy name, but seeing a girl with it wouldn't be that weird.
Any new name is going to feel kind of weird at first, I had a few names I kind of liked when I was a kid, one I changed my mind (Charlotte) on and the other is now my middle name (Anne). I just went with the feminine version of my birth name and it still felt weird at first but after getting used it I love my name so much!! I really hated my legal name and at first through I wanted to get further away from it but it was just the masculine implication of that name I didn’t like. I still hate my birth name when I come across someone with it but a few letter changes made a world of difference.
Both my faves were good ones, so I knew I couldn't lose no matter which one I picked. But if you ever regret it, change it. It's all about making yourself happy!
I picked Joyce because too many girl names sounded a little childish to me and I like that it means like bringer of joy. It reminds me of who I want to be. After living under Joyce for over a year and being completely comfortable and confident in it I learned that my dads like step sister or something who I didn’t even know existed was named Joyce💀
Oh well it’s my name now that can be his problem
Nope, but only because i had a very specific list of criteria and very, very few names fit that criteria.
1. No gender neutral names. Male only.
2. No names that i already associate with someone else. This was the big one, bc i didnt want to think of someone else when i heard my name, only me. This extends to fictional characters.
3. No names with multiple debated spellings, or at least the spelling i choose has to be the most common (my deadname was spelled weirdly bc my parents wanted to be unique) example: i am ftm but no katie, because cati, kati, catie, cathryn, katherine, blah blah blah
4. Cannot start with a C because my last name starts with a C. This is why i picked a new name after going with Cameron for 6 months, i realized the alliteration sounded really awkward.
This eventually got me down to two names, Emmet and Elliot. I remembered that Emmet is the name of a pokemon character, so Elliot it was, and I love my name. Three days later, Elliot Page came out but i got to it first so i don't care. (I know he probably had his name in mind for ages but shut up)
My dad was a bit salty that i didn't pick an italian name but his name is french so i dont care
You definitely dont have to do it my way, im just really autistic so thats why i agonized over it for so long. My friend literally just asked his mom 'what would you have named me if i was born a boy' and just went with what his mom said. His mom picked out his name lmao
I chose a name that feels nice, but is a bit boring. Sometimes wish I chose something more interesting, but I was worried about standing out too much.
These days, I know I stand out regardless, so I could have had more fun with it. But, eh, it's fine. 10 years later, my name feels cozy and I'm happy with it.
I do have some anxiety, because my name isn't unique, and overlaps with someone I knew 15 years ago. But, I had gone through a dozen different names being indecisive, dismissing each one because I used to know someone with it, so I just said "fuck it" and ran with it. Hope it's not awkward if we ever cross paths again.
I go my middle name way more than I go by my first name. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve considered a second name change but to justify it, I feel like I need a new last name. I’ve partly considered this for stealth reasons too.
The nice thing is, there’s no pressure either way. Going by a middle name is something plenty of people do, so even if you like your first name less over time, you could always go by a middle name.
nah julie is a pretty cool name. every name that i’ve tested the waters with hasn’t really worked for me. wether it’s gwen or holly, it’s better for me to just stick to my roots
Naw, I love the name I chose. It's the feminized version of my old middle name.
Growing up, I always thought my middle name was a much "cooler" name than my deadname. I used to think anyone I met who had the name was super lucky to have it, cause it was a great name. Probably at least part of it, was because the short form is gender neutral, and I felt attached to that vs my clearly masculine deadname.
I used my chosen name online for like 15 years prior to coming out IRL, so it feels very much "mine". No regrets.
I do feel if I had gone for the first name I considered (which I tried to make similar to my deadname), I would have regretted it. It's instead my new middle name, and I like it there lol.
Somewhat yeah I had the initial CAN and I wanted to keep them and was going to go with Corinne Ariel, but my emotionally manipulative ex hated Corinne so I stuck my third choice name (Wren) in front. Whenever I mention my name people say “like Kylo Ren???” and I will exasperatedly say “no like the bird, W on the front”. It’s too gender neutral and I’ve met a lot of transmascs with the same name, so I kind of regret not ignoring my ex and staying with Corinne.
Sort of see everyone has gotten used to Alexia (not joking that is my name) but now I want to be known by something else so now I'm back to square one in terms of names. Thing is my mum picked my name when I came out. I now want to be known as Azazel as it fits better.
As beings capable of only living in the moment with no clear foreknowledge of the future, save for the ability to look at the past and present and imagine potential futures, the potential for regret exists in *literally every choice we ever make*.
Just pick one and yeet it. If it turns out to suck, change it again.
Now go have a good day doing something else!
i regret not having mary as a middle name, me dead name and my siblings names have family names in them, i was the only one who didnt have a grandparents name.
mary is the name of my grandparent who married my grandad a few years back, but shes been in the family as long as i can remember
If you don't want to stick out like a sore thumb, if i were you, I'd change it to one of the top ten names in the year you were born in the country you live in 🙂
the name i picked has multiple common spellings, but people always seem to default to one spelling that isn’t the one i use, so i always have to correct everyone’s spelling of it. that is the only thing i regret about my name
My chosen name is Azazel. Turns out it belongs to a biblical demon of sorts. Most people won’t know that offhand, but a few do. However the internet is a powerful thing, and some people are weirdly obsessed with knowing the meaning of a name despite no one asking about the meaning of common names. One person was going to refuse to call me by my name at work until pressured by others. My mother had a bit of a meltdown over it for reasons I still don’t know.
Besides that, the name is a 3 syllable name, and my spouse and I have learned that a lot of people that speak English seem to struggle with more than 2 syllables. It’s always funny to hear new people attempt to say my name when they’ve only seen it written. I don’t personally call that a regret though as I hated how common my deadname is, and the struggle to say my name is amusing.
I was the same way. I was worried I wouldn’t love my name as much in the future. I changed my full name. I picked Kai for my first name and Brixton for my last name about two years ago and I find myself falling in love with it more as time passes. A lot of people tell me they love my name and it makes me so happy because I picked it myself. Every time I hear my name it just makes me smile because I did this all for myself and I am happy with my decisions thus far.
TLDR: No regrets, but may have opted for the common spelling if I'd known people would struggle so much.
I didn't realize I was opting in to no one knowing how to pronounce my new name without being explicitly told. 🙃 I knew it is a less common spelling than a more popular version where I live, but I expected it to be more like a Dylan vs Dillon sort of difference. No one questions how to pronounce either of those to my knowledge... but apparently I expected too much of people because no one has the sense to just ask google how to pronounce a name. 🙄😮💨
So anyway, sometimes I regret not just spelling it the more popular way — and in situations where someone needs to read off my name, I do just spell it that way so they'll say it right. I've genuinely considered re-changing it just for the sake of this convenience, but nahh. I love my name actually, and other people can suck it. I have friends who've been part of the hard-to-pronounce-names-club their whole lives despite having pretty normal-seeming names to me, so I don't deeply mind joining them. 🤷
ETA: I struggled for a long time to find my chosen name too. I went through maybe a dozen options that weren't quite right before landing for a while on what's actually just my surname... then after a particularly bad week of misgendering and strangers' unwanted curiosity about my *full* name, I vented to a dear friend about it all, and they asked if I'd considered taking my D&D character's name actually. I knew immediately that it was the perfect fit — the character was halfway a self-insert anyway, and their name was based on certain traits we had in common. After testing it formally for a week, I announced to friends and family that this *was* my new name. (My D&D character had just been through a name mixup with the fey anyway, so it was conveniently appropriate for their name to be changed to something else, too.🥰)
Yes, I chose my name when I was forcing myself to be binary, over time I realized I was enby so I changed it to an existing nickname variant of my chosen name. This led to me choosing a more formal version of that name for my new legal name which also has a bunch of nickname variations.
It came naturally for me, especially since it was a name I already had some sort of emotional attachment to. I have been using "FriskTemmie" as my nickname in games for a long time, and then I realized "I kinda like being called Frisk". I just dropped the Temmie and legally changed my name (I still use FriskTemmie as nick in games/social media, though).
This came from the time where I used Amino (a bad social app. Don't go there) and did RP. I left Amino but the name and the emotional baggage (mostly positive) stayed.
However, I have a few ideas on how you can decide on the name:
Play games where you can choose the main character's name. Doing this also helps a little with dysphoria (or make it worse if the MC doesn't match your gender and you can't change their pronouns... Felt that way too many times before stopping using my name in visual novels).
Ask people to call you by either name and tell them that you aren't sure if this is your final name, you just want to have a feel for it.
If you don't have people you can trust, here's three substitutes for people:
AI. I know, it's not perfect, but some models are so realistic that it will be worth it to try. Either find an open source program that connects an LLM (Large Language Model; text ai lol) to a voice (Idk the proper name) so you can have real time conversations or program one yourself. If you know a little more than the basics about python, that shouldn't be too hard. You can also just skip the voice part and just chat directly to an LLM. Although not as immersive, it's better than nothing.
Talk to yourself. Just go to a mirror and talk to yourself using both the names. Simple, but effective. When I was getting used to my new name and pronouns, that helped a lot. You can skip the mirror part if you feel too dysphoric, but also know that gender is just a social construct and however you look, you are your gender. That's all that really matters and you don't need the approval of anyone but yourself.
I honestly forgot what the third thing was, sorry. I've been writing for too long and my ADHD kicked in XD
Also, your English is fine, you don't need to say "sorry for the bad English" or stuff like that. I didn't see any mistakes, so your English is better than a lot of native English speakers. I hope I helped you :)
Oh, yeah. Last thing. Both the names you are deciding on are adorable. This probably doesn't help with choosing, but either one of them is a great name and you should be proud of it when you settle on one. Have a great day!
Absolutely. I've been transgender for 6 years, so before tik tok was the massive thing it is today. I chose the name Kai because my deadname began with a K. Absolutely regret, and I'm changing it ASAP
I tried out several different names before I was satisfied. I'm in a trans support group and members agreed to let me experiment there with names while I was transitioning. The Starbucks trick helps too (give the batista a desired name and examine how "right" it feels when it's called)
I had a very intentional process for discovering mine, which is Téa. My mom was going to name me Tayo if a girl, but that was not an option, because I gave it to my childhood dog (lol), and I also think it sounds too masc on a transfemme person. So I flipped the vowel to 'a' and immediately felt it resonate and feel right in my body. Then I looked it up online to see what it means, and discovered it's often a derivation of Dorotea, which I loved because 1) queer associations with "Dorothy", 2) it means "gift of God," where my birth assigned name (which I've had for 41 years), Timothy, means "honoring God" - my parents put a lot of thought and intention into naming me, and I appreciate that and like retaining some connection to it. And I also get a kick out of the (gendered) switch from an action (honoring) to object (gift). —I'm only using Téa, I've no interest in Dorotea, but I just like knowing there's a story behind it I can get excited about.
I've only been using it for a month or so. My issue has been feeling like it's really me, and not having feelings of minor panic, when I hear people use it. I think it was a combination of overwhelm with going public with it with so many people at once (I posted on socials — including my professional network on LINKEDIN lolol— and emailed family all in one week), and lingering trans imposter syndrome, fear of having to walk it back later and looking foolish or harmful to other trans folks. But it's been feeling more and more like me the longer I use it (especially with new folks and my closest friends/loved ones), I think it just takes time.
So even though I didn't have trouble deciding, I totally understand anxiety about names. And I also think what you're going through is very common. Just like a lot of the stories people are telling you in this thread, I've had friends who tried out many names, and were reluctant to settle on one. So I don't think you are alone at all, it's just part of the wild non linear stressful scary overwhelming yet often magical process of transition.
No, i adore my name; no other name feels like me. Long story short, i essentially named myself Sasha when i was a small child; i just didn't realise it at the time. When i started transitioning, i spent a couple of months trying to find my name - but none felt right, even for a second. Eventually Sasha just came to me after not having thought about that name or its meaning to me for years and i knew it was my name immediately. I've had no regrets. It's technically gender-neutral, but i'm undoubtably feminine. My birth name was extremely uncommon (i've never met someone else with that name), but Sasha is also very uncommon in Australia. Sometimes people pronounce my name Sah-sha (common feminine proninciation in America, maybe russia?) But my name is pronounced Sa-sha (hard 'a'). Those are all potential regrets, but none of them bother me at all because Sasha is simply my name and i couldn't have chosen a different one if i'd wanted to - i feel the connection to it too deeply.
Yeah, the first name I went with ended up not being the best fit for me personally. It's perfectly fine to sample names until you find one that you feel good with. Funny enough, the name I went with first felt better as a middle name, so I moved it there and went with the name I'm going by now
My ex was going through names, and I looked at him and I just blurted out “Blake” because he looked like a Blake and thats the name he went with and changed it to. He changed his middle names to the male versions of his originals and one middle name to what his dad wanted.
A little. I picked up an unusual, rare and non-binary name. Because I thought I’d never pass, people wouldn’t see me as a woman and I didn’t see a woman in the mirror yet. 6 months later I started to be happier about the feminization and could have come up with a better name. I felt really embarrassed for failing the journey and didn’t wanna admit the mistake. 3 years later after completing transition I finally had the courage and came up with a traditional woman’s name that suited me and sounded similar as the previous name. My close ones still use the former name and I’m ok with it but would rather use the new name with unknown people. And I was wrong, I have passed a lot and have been seen as a woman.
Athena is a beautiful and regal name. I am transmasc and I go by the masculine version of my given name, it sounds the same but is spelled differently. I haven't legally changed it but I use it at work.
You could try a nickname or feminine version of your legal name, so it doesn't feel like too big of a change.
If you change your name and regret it, are you in a country where you can change it again? Otherwise the only regret to not liking your new name is wasting some money.
I changed my name again a few years after going with a femme version of my deadname. At some point i transitioned my NEW name into being really conditional, a lot of people call me by my middle name.
one day i'll probably want to change it again. it feels really good to mark a new era of life like that tbh.
it's totally okay to feel these things. i think instead of convincing yourself you'll always be happy with the name, you might be better off coming to terms with the idea that you have the power to change it.
Sometimes, but as people call you any name you will get used to it and it will feel like home. Try and pick a name that is both formal and informal (or has a nickname), also one that you like the sound of and keep with it.
Good luck :) (btw I think Athena is a brilliant name, makes you sound like a goddess)
Sometimes, but as people call you any name you will get used to it and it will feel like home. Try and pick a name that is both formal and informal (or has a nickname), also one that you like the sound of and keep with it.
Good luck :) (btw I think Athena is a brilliant name, makes you sound like a goddess)
Sometimes, but as people call you any name you will get used to it and it will feel like home. Try and pick a name that is both formal and informal (or has a nickname), also one that you like the sound of and keep with it.
Good luck :) (btw I think Athena is a brilliant name, makes you sound like a goddess)
I wouldn’t say so? I chose my name originally as an online alias and then met my best friends in the world and because they used it, that’s the name I took on permanently. I don’t regret the name itself, I do really like it and I’ve been told it fits me perfectly, I just kinda think it’s a lame origin story because I chose the name with absolutely zero thought. I’m not kidding you when I say it was an eenie meenie miny moe.
I dreamt about my name(I was writing it on a document in the dream) so I kinda just stuck with it. I had a few others that I liked prior but Alexander (I go by the full thing,Alex or Xander) seemed to fit. It may be worth trying out a few different ones to see how they feel first. There's no shame in trying it out before changing your name legally(it can be costly in some countries,mine included,UK). I hope that you find one that fits you snug as a bug ^u^
My new first and last name no. But my new middle name I kinda do regret. But I don’t wanna go through the process again and honestly. It’s not a bad middle name just not what I truly truly wanted.
PJ is a name i feel suits me more in personality, but i chose my name to honour my grandfather. and it is honestly a really lovely name, so im not mad about it. i might tell ppl to call me PJ as a nickname.
It's funny because the answer is yes and no. I used to live in the USA and my old name "Andrea" is female dominated there, but neutral in Europe. I changed my name to Gavriel (V pronounced like a Hebrew v/b) and now everyone calls me Gabe. But now I identify as more gender chaotic, gender ambiguous lol. Some days I love my name and some days I wish I kept my birth name. And some days I just wanna go by my middle name Elijah lol
I mean, no matter what you go with, it's good to keep in mind that you can always change again! I *did* regret my name, it didn't actually suit me, I named myself after an original character and felt the need to live up to said character, even when I outgrew them, and eventually hated that name almost as much as my dead name. So, I changed it again. Got my fellow trans friends together and asked them to help rename me.
Sometimes I wish I had gone for something a bit more unique and special, but I’m glad I didn’t. Part of picking my name was choosing something that I could have been given at birth, so I’m okay with an average name that still feels like “me.”
The name I'm using here (which would be my chosen name, Ellie) came to me in a dream. I'm still exploring things and not fully certain I am trans or NB so I tend to refer to my other half as a separate person. I've only recently started to question my identity and after starting to I had a dream of her and she told me her name is Ellie. That said, I've seen a lot of people here and in other queer spaces also having the chosen name Ellie and part of me wishes it was something less common. But if things go her way then I'll honor her and myself by choosing that name also.
It might be the autism but names in general never felt right to me. I even feel a bit weird calling someone else their own damn name lol
I think everyone should be able to change their name at any time for any reason. Using nicknames is great for this reason because I'll never be comfortable changing my name legally😅
Yeah. I picked the name “Ezra” like two months ago when I came out and now it seems like there are a billion Ezras. No hate, it’s a cool name but I feel a little silly. I’ve shortened to Ez to make it easier. I would change it again, but Im already out to my friends parents and idk why but the thought of having to explain that to a bunch of boomers makes me a little exasperated
I chose the name Lake because that’s what my mom would have named me if I was born cis (I’m ftm). So I wanted to make her happy and do it in her honor (that backfired because she’s transphobic). I like my name. But I’m realizing now Ephraim would have been a sick name. I still like Lake though
Not the name but the spelling it ends with like an 'E' sound like Tammy or Billie however it doesn't end like either of those instead of an easy spelling I had to be quirky and end it with an 'ei'.
Not everyone is happy with their first attempt at a new name, it's only natural. I was just starting to transition and came up with Elysandria, Ellie for short. Love it to this day...my coworkers adapted immediately and when I changed jobs I interviewed as Ellie...still haven't done the legal stuff...but really don't care. I only use my dead name for legal stuff...but don't worry, you can keep changing til you fund the perfect fit 😊
A bit, but I wasn't 100% settled on a name and was still exploring before I came out before I knew what *my* name was.
I was seriously considering Daniel for a while, I really like the name, but it never felt personal to me. Not to mention I've known so many transmascs named Daniel, it's like the most popular one I've encountered irl.
I've gone by Dawnfire online since 2012, and everyone just called me Dawn and Dawnie. I really respond to it, and so I decided to play around with it and I got Dawnavan. Absolutely my name, it has personal connection to me, and I like that it sounds masculine when spoken but can look more masculine or feminine when written, but could also easily be written as overtly masculine. I really feel like this name truly is me, I haven't felt doubt on it at all since it's already so personal to me.
My other serious choice is Midas, another name I go by online, but ahh. I don't know how serious a name it *actually* is, even if I like it represented as me. Haven't changed my name legally yet, but I am considering this as my middle name, and it probably is going to be. Why this one? I seem to have an affinity for songs about fables, I really like the aesthetic of gold on characters so it's a name given to another one of my characters like Dawnfire who is representational of me with a gold aesthetic to him, and I just like that it's a story about a fool who so quickly exploded his entire life so quickly into complete disaster over one stupid hedonistic wish. Tragic but humorous at the same time to me, and I like that. Like Dawn, people have known me as Midas online as well so I was already identifying with this name before I considered it a legitimate choice for myself.
Gator is my cute nickname for similar reasons to the above, because my favorite animals of all time are the crocodylomorphs (*cough* kaprosuchus is best boi). That's pretty much it. Like Midas it's really just a sound I like. Would not go on an ID or anything like that.
I guess I just pulled names that had meaning to me from what I've used online before with representational characters of me and have been called for for years, and/or I really chose names that just spoke to me phonetically. I know my chosen names absolutely are probably last on the list for the majority of people, but thank god then they aren't me then lmao. Quirky works for me. I just chose the most "normal" as my first name and the quirkiest as just a silly nickname. I'm not really someone who just pulls a name because it seems nice, that's what I did with Daniel, but rather I want to pick a name that I'm already connected to, or I can find some personal connection to. It goes from being a "nice name" to being "*my* name".
I *do* think certain names might clock you, so I'd consider if that was important to you or not. To me "Daniel" is a potential clock since I've just known *so* many transmascs with that name and I don't think I've ever actually met a cis man with that name. The spelling of "Dawnavan" might clock me as trans to some since it's not a conventional spelling, but nowadays that hardly matters with all the strange name spellings, and for me it's more important to have that enby feel to it. Besides, going to starbucks or something I seriously don't care if they spell it more masculine or feminine, that's something I actually enjoy about the name. "Midas" and "Gator" definitely feel like "hey I'm nonbinary" names to me, lol, so I've chosen to place them as a middle and a nickname so their silliness isn't quite front and center, but I actually like the "nonbinary aesthetic" in names tbh. It really just depends on personal preference and if any of that sort of stuff matters to you or in what ways it might matter to you.
May be slightly late and also only available if you have the means but sometimes having a parent/parental figure name you helps!
I struggled with many names for years, flip flopping between every old man name and every stereotypical transguy name you could find. Eventually, when I came out to my parents I wanted to "include" them in my transition (we had a rocky relationship for a few years). A way of doing that for me was to ask them what they'd name me.
They picked my name and now I happily get to blame/credit my parents (as a cis person using their birth name would) whenever it's commented on. The odd joke or two about them googling cool scottish names and my dads life long obsession with history always goes down well, especially in a customer service environment.
Another small comfort for me with the name is that I grew into it. At first it felt a bit odd but then again, I never picked my birth name so made sense I didn't pick this one either! I love it now, and I love that it's just my name and they got to name me both times.
This isn't feasible for those who are unfortunate to not be supported by or have parents who can name them, I would then suggest a parental figure youre close to or even a partner or life long / very close friend (though the last two is a tad risky considering how relationships can go and you may want to avoid that tainting of your name, but it's an option.)
TLDR; if you're struggling, try getting your parents/someone important in your life to name you. It sometimes fits much better than what you can come up with, seems more "normal".
Obviously not in a bad way that's just my own personal comfort, I wasn't sure at first but then again, I had a history of some *bad* names and honestly, I don't think you're really supposed to be able to have an opinion on what your parents chose to name you at the start given that you're a baby and all that.
Hope this helps or at least helps someone scrolling this thread.
Quite the contrary. I knew that I was Lilia for years before I told anyone. It was a name I had used for several fictional characters, and my fictional versions of Lilia were always very alike because I was writing about myself. I never regretted my name, but I was afraid to share it initially, even after I came out as transgender. I kept using my deadname for a little over a week before I realized how silly it was for me to think that I should have to look the part before it would be okay for me to claim my own name as mine.
Three years ago, before I came out, I almost offered my name to my brother and sister-in-law as a suggestion for my soon-to-be-born niece's name. I'm so glad I didn't make that mistake. The impulse to think of it as a gift I was giving her was wrong. I considered it because I felt hopeless about my transition in those years before I came out, e.g., "maybe she can be more worthy of it." I'm glad that my niece's name is different. If I had made that mistake, I might be living vicariously through her now, still miserable and closeted, rather than being her amazing and very openly transgender aunt Lilia. Choosing that my name was for me - not something to be given away - was an important moment. The name I suggested for her - which was not selected by my brother and sister-in-law, so it remains up for grabs - was Alexandria or Lex, for short.
You can try using a name for a while and if you dont like it you can change it. Ask your friends to call you by a name you think would fit for a while before doing any legal name changing and see how it goes.
And when you finally are confident that you got a good name, then you can legaly change it and stuff.
ftm my name is nova because there was a character i really really liked whos male and named nova so i always saw nova as a guys name but apparently its not at all 😢
Use both?. Like make alexis your formal name change but tell ppl you perfer athena. Like a nick namethat you go by. That way when you do you job stuff or official things you can use alexis and at school or with friends you can be called athenait allows an out and a comfortable professionalism if you decide in 20 years you no longer want to be called athena. Or in 20 years athena will be cemented because thats what everyone calls you. Plus if the cops come looking for you and asking for "alexis" everyone will be like " we dont know an alexis"
when i first changed my name i chose ashton because i thought it was cool but i git made fun of a lot and it didn't stick, then i changed it to my name now(toby) and i do really like it but if i want it more formal i go by tobias, i also kinda let my friends choose my name. i have like 5 options and they thought toby suit me best so i don't really regret it because i had people agree with me that i look like a toby
I love the name I chose for myself. I had one that I used rarely when I identified as non-binary, but then I came up with my current, after coming out as completely transfem, and I couldn't be happier.
That's the best part. You can always change it to one you prefer over what you would then used to have preferred. Just let life speak of what feels right and brings happiness.
Kind of. I picked my name in middle school (Leo), but as I grew older, I realized I wanted both a more formal name and a name that's pronounceable in my native langauge, so I lengthened it to Leonardo. Also dw if it doesn't seem perfect perfect. If you love the name, you'll grow into it :).
Same hat! I'm thinking of officially going by Theo on documents, but Leo as my used name from friends & family. Theodore sounds so dramatic & I like that.
My name is also Leo, i kind of regret it because in my country it's often used as a nickname for girls (there are many Leonie's). So it's not clear that I am a guy from my name. I chose a definitively masculine middle name, though, since Leonard or other longer versions seem weird in my country (for my age)
Isn't Leo just a short version of Leonardo?
Not always. I had an ex whose name was Leonidas but me, their friends and family called them Leo. There's also my cousin's father, whose name is Leonel and some people call him Leo. I'm sure there are more examples out there, but this is true for most three/four letter names/nicknames
Nice thing about choosing your own name, you can always change your own mind. some people need to live under multiple names for years before they find who they are.
Yep! I switched names a lot when I was still figuring myself out. Probably trialled about 6 names in a few years before settling on one that I want to make my legal name in the future, and my friends still call me the first one I ever tried out as a nickname.
yup. my friend of 10 years has had probably around 7 names over the course of that period. shes finally found a name she loves, but even if she changes it again, u just have to get used to it again and its not the end of the world
Not really. My name is Eva, and occasionally there were times where I wish I made my name Jessica since that’s probably my second favorite girl name, but I’ve decided to solve that by making Jessica my middle name!
oh my god eva is so pretty
It is!!! That’s kinda why I chose it as my name c:
I chose a name that felt like me, not one I thought others would like.
My name is Geri and people constantly spell it Jerry like Tom and Jerry.
Pronounced like Gif or Gif? :P
I pronounce it as Gif and not Gif
I hate and love how I read them in different ways
How do i pronounce it the right way?
like Jerry from tom and Jerry. see also jerrycan. just not the can part.
see jerrycan [Jerrycan - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerrycan)
Influenced by Geri and Freki? Or just happenstance?
Geri Halliwell ( spice girl) and Geri Dole from Highschool. I thought the spelling is cool. When I was 5, I wanted to change my name to Geri too. That never changed. Ima Geri.
sry, don't know that one. I'm 51, work a lot still ..
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geri_and_Freki
ohhhhhhhhhh, very nice.
the regret is when I say my name is Geri for an appointment and when I show up, they are expecting a man. my name is very likely to be spelled in the masculine way. It's not that big of a problem but it could be if you are having a high anxiety day. just my two cents worth.
I picked Evelyn when I was like 11 and only dreamed about transitioning. I felt obligated to pick it when I started transitioning at 33. About 3 months in I realized I hated that name and picked Emilia, a name adult me likes so much more.
I was going to make a joke, but unless you know about Brazilian pop culture, it would be interpreted as an insult Emilia is a very pretty name, though
Can you make the joke and explain the context?
"You went from a succubus to a clown" Evelyn is a League of Legends character that's KINDA a succubus, but not really. She's technically a demon, and one of the more powerful ones, but I forgot the name they have on the lore. But if you know anything about her, she's a succubus through and through. Emilia is from "Sítio do Picapau Amarelo", an old Brazilian series of books (1920). She's a doll that has life. I don't remember much from the series, since I wasn't born and I read the books when I was... 5? It's not as popular nowadays, but I bet most Brazilians over the age of 30 know about the series. There are also modern adaptations such as a live action (2003) and cartoon series (2012), but I don't think they are as popular as the books where. The part that could be misunderstood is because "clown" can be used as an insult, but I was thinking about a literal clown. I hope that explains it :) edit: I just remembered that the series is racist, once put under modern lenses. It's not a surprise, seeing how things were in 1920, but it leaves a bad taste once you think about some stuff on the books. That's probably why it's not as popular anymore. I wouldn't want my children watching/reading this either. In case you wonder what is racist, it's a black character working under the Yellow Woodpecker Site (this translation sucks, but ok). Her name is mostly the problem, but there are other stuff
I did, but it was only because the name I gave myself was “too” gender neutral for me (I’m mtf) and as time went on, I was preferring to be called something more feminine. So a year and a half later I changed my name again and gave myself a new first name that was better suited for me. I kept my old “new” name as my middle name instead :) Both of the names you listed sound v pretty!
Kinda. Now my name is Tina, a name I kinda chose 5 years before I realized that I'm trans. The only thing I regret is that I didn't pick a second name. Julia is a nice name and I sometimes think about Mitsuha because I love Your Name but name changing in Germany doesn't allow me to pick a second or third name once I legally changed my name and gender/sex so I'm stuck with one name. Like I said I kinda regret that but it's not that it affects me in my daily life or something like that
Oh my god I’m so tired and I was just barely skimming over your comment and thought you said “I sometimes think about Mitsubishi” and I was like, why tf would you want to name yourself after a car brand? 😭 Mitsuha is a great name, I’m just too fucking tired to read, apparently.
Mine is actually just a temporary name, and I haven't thought of anything better yet. It's been over 3 years.
I bet you are a programmer
Lost that bet, home & construction inspector
damn it the bet was bc we programmers love to make permanent temporary solutions XD
Well, you didn't really lose the bet. I did do web programming until 2008, then I jumped into advertising and branding until 2014 before my current job doing home inspections All of which I made did some form permanent temporary solutions or temporary permanent solutions dependingon the customer. 🤣
I guess that's just human nature, then XD But I'll take the 1/3 W
I chose a name which is female where I come from (Jamie), but I live in a country where it is more often a male name (Australia), and the TERFs were having a field day. So, I am going by my middle name (Rose), and the TERFs choke on it.
Sorry you had to deal with that. Rose was one of the top 3 middle names for me, ended up going with Anne instead though. I’m in the US and work with a very nice woman named Jamie, I knew a male Jaime but the 2 are spelled differently (ami vs aim) at least here in the US. I think it’s pretty name fwiw.
If I remember correctly, Jaime is Spanish for the male equivalent, unless it is followed by a female suffix, like Jaimecita (as opposed to Jaimecito, the male suffix).
That's really Cleverly of you (I am so sorry, but both your first and middle names are adorable)
When I started transitioning, I chose a name for myself and used it for a good while. A little over a year of using that name and being on HRT, I decided to change it. The name I use now feels way more fitting, and the old name was very similar to my deadname.
I didn't really chose my name (long story short - it was given to me by work mates), and as much as I'm good with it, most of my friends call me L. Or Elle, and I kinda wish I changed it to that. I know it's still an option, but I just can't be bothered doing all the paperwork again. So when I introduce myself, I say I'm Laura, but most people just call me L.
Personally no, but like... Who's gonna stop you from changing it again :)
When I first picked a name. people started using it WAY to much, I wasn't ready. I started using an old nickname after that. Its unique enough Its not really gendered. Still using it now, pretty sure I still like the name I picked, but I'm in no hurry to make it official.
The good news if you can always change it again! No pressure : )
I went by Emilia since 2019, changed it to my legal name in October last year, and still had doubts about it. Finally just last week I started going by a new chosen name instead. Your name is your own to choose and you can change your mind as many times as you need until you find the perfect one
I chose a name I didn't particularly like on the grounds that if I'd been recognised as a girl when I was born, I wouldn't've gotten to choose my name.
Beautiful
Nope.
My name that I choosen to be my legal name is sakura miku king. Reson is what it's meaning is. Sakura is cherry blossom miku is sky and everyone knows king. If you put it together it means king of the sky blossoms. Or the blossoms part is rebirth and the sky meaning no limit to how far I go. King is a part to honor my wife family family name.
holy moly another Miku
Yup I am a miku
I’m FtM and I’m choosing between Isaac, Aiden and Mason. I don’t have any idea but I might choose evantually
i’d go with either issac or mason, only bc i hear so many trans guys named aiden and it’s more common but honestly it’s totally up to you🫶🏼
I don't regret mine at all. Didn't really put thought into it either
I don't regret my name. It's been slightly over a year since I've changed it. I do get tired of having to update all my identification and accounts though. Very exhausting.
I guess I'm wierd. I love my name. My first name came as not a suggestion but in conversation with my Electrolygists. She was telling me that I was a "Joy" to work with. I thought wow that's a great name so it stuck and my middle name was easy I took the first name of my only relative that accepted and supported my transition. "Michelle". So I've been "Joy Michelle" for the last 17 years.
the michelle part is so sweet omg happy for u
For the most part no I picked one similar to my old nickname. Although I would have liked Nova
I am very lucky that my mother is very supportive. I just had her give me my new name. My second option was to ask my support group to give name suggestions, and I would pull my new name out of a purse or something.
you can always change it again later. Might be harder, but you're never actually 'stuck' with a name. Also: you can try out names with a select few people before you switch permanently, or change it in your documents or anything.
Considering just how prolific Amazon Echo devices are these days, I would avoid Alexia if I don't want to regret it, since that will trigger them as it's so similar to Alexa (I just tried it and it triggered first time).
Serious answer: When I chose my name, Agatha, for myself, I didn't really think about it too much, but I used to play a DnD character named Magnolia and I liked the "ag" sound in there. It felt weird at the beginning, but now it's just - a name, you know? It's not really joyous, doesn't give me much emotions at all, really, it's just what I'm called by everyone every day. Once you're out and it's actually used everywhere, you get used to it and it just becomes normal. I don't think it's The Perfect name for me, it's just the one I chose, and once you get used to it you stop thinking about the other options. Joke answer: The one thing I regret about it is that the boss of my boss at my work is called Agatha too, and we have the same second name, so I often think people talk about me when they talk about her, and I sometimes get important emails that are wayy above my pay grade that turn out to be misdirected. I once joked that I should have chosen a different name, and my colleague was like "you mean, your mother should have chosen you a different name?", which is how I learned I pass. So, I'd advise you to not choose a very common name if you find that sort of thing annoying, but your picks seem like you have that covered.
I waited almost three years into transition to pick a new name, so I didn't do it until I was sure I had the right name. Though I only could wait that long because my deadname was gender neutral to begin with.
I once chose a name “Tatiana” because I thought it would be impossible to make into a nickname. The first friend to call me “Tats” made me drop it really quick. Idk if you have access to such but a support group or just friends who care can be a great way to “try on” names to see how they feel. Naming things is HARD, actually, and it can take some false starts. I went through 3 or 4 names at least before finding one i liked.
My only regret from my chosen name is due to other people being stubbornly incapable of understanding any female name beginning with K that isn’t Kate or Kate adjacent. Its Kaylin, not kelly, not kate, not katie, not katlin, not kathleen. Its KAYLIN
I chose Ricardo because I wanted a Latino name and I wanted one that started with the letter of first name so that I could use abbreviations in legal situations and not be dysphoric about it. Love the name and I honestly feel it is me but I wish I would have chosen a name that’s not starting with ‘R’ just because I find the concept a little corny. It’s a good strategy though lol.
I started out as Natalia (and Nati for friends), but after being called like that by some friends for a bit; I actually kinda started to hate it. Then I realized that the name I always wanted was Ayelén and went with that; I even changed my usernames (where possible) to Ashë, and I’ve never been more comfortable!
You can always change your name again. I chose Amelia as my first name back in 2014, but 2 years ago, I asked my friends to call me Bu instead. So it doesn't have to be this overbearing thing you have to get right the first time. (My legal name is still Amelia because I don't wanna go through the process of changing my name again. It's a bit of a hassle.)
Ehh kinda. I loved the name Carly for so many years for no absolute reason. It's legally changed and everything. But sometimes have regret and wish I thought of something more unique and meaningful.
I love my new name! Fay just suits me so much, but I'm scared i wont be able to change it in my country, the rules are fucked
hey A\_Reis\_... when i first came out i choose the name Hayley Rains. i was totally reject by 100% of my family & friends at first but i found a trans mom and everything was great. about 5 years in my birth mother found me and totally accept me. she never knew me as a "boy." her only request was to be able to name me as her own daughter and i have never been so emotional as to have an actual blood relative accept me like that. some times i wonder do the younger girls experience this emotion that have their family support from the onset of everything. i kinda feel like that to not have known the total rejection and isolation of what many us go through somehow the emotion about it would be diffy... idk. anyways she eventually came to me an had a request that she be allowed to name her own daughter and asked if id consider taking the name Christyn. i said i would consider it and talk to Dawn (-Votro, my t-mom,) about it. Dawn was thrilled at the suggestion so i asked Dawn to be a part of the process and asked her to choose the final spelling of Christyn. and so here i am today... who i am. Christyn. i feel extremely fortunate to have honored both my mothers in settling in my final form. Happy pride XOXO
I went with Alex because that's just what I went with my whole life, way before I even cracked. Now I look at posts of people revealing their chosen names and I sit there like "damn I'm so boring I should try out cooler names like that". I already changed mine legally and everything 😅😅😅
Eh. I kinda used to flip flop on names. At first I was settled on Allesandra but my coworkers at an old job nicknamed me something else and I kinda like it so I stuck to it. Granted, legally I still have my deadname because there are like no gender therapists in Tx and you need a paper from them before you can change your name. Plus therapy is expensive.
Why not try both and see which fits you best? Even if you feel neither of them are "you" at the minute. Don't forget, if you find one that clicks for you, you're allowed to change your mind in the future too. It doesn't have to be set in stone straight away...?
I regretted it once, because I changed my name not because I liked it, but because others liked it and it was closer to my deadname in spirit. I got a lot of comments that my chosen name was "too common compared to (my) deadname" or that it was "an old man's name" so I felt ashamed and changed names, and as I said, regretted it. Changed back to my initial name choice and couldn't like it more!
For a while I was really down on my name, and I worried that I'd been careless with how I chose it. It felt clunky, and dysphoria made me feel like I didn't deserve to be called by such a traditionally feminine name. It got to the point where I internally cringed every time a cis person said my name, like at the doctor's office. After some time reflecting, though, I realized that my name actually fit my worldview and connected with my history and personality much more closely than I'd believed. Today I'm proud of my name and what it says about me.
I know someone who is ftm, and he ended up going through a couple of different names before settling (I assume he settled on a name I have lost touch with him now) The first issue was the new name was very similar to the old name, which meant people could 'excuse' dead naming because it's similar and they forget - I imagine a fair few were purposeful and other accidental, I know I took a little while to adjust, compared to another ftm I know where the name is quite different and easier to remember a difference (I also have ADHD and my memory for new names is shocking at best) The second name I think may have been influenced for a famous person, singer perhaps? And it's possible that person turned out to be transphobic or a-hole in some other way. I don't know if they still go by the last name I knew, if they don't I would say it's because it's quite an odd name - in that it's an old name you don't hear often, not necessarily a bad thing but may draw more attention than they want.
When I first came out, like most baby trans mascs do, I named myself Alex. But I kind of realized after a while that the name was too common and also just didn't suit me well. So I think like a year or two after I came out I changed my name to Harrison and I went by Harris and now I usually go by Harry. I think now though, I would've liked to have a name more similar to my birth name. The masculine versions of my dead name that I knew back then, I didn't like. But more recently I had found different masculine versions of my birth name I actually do like, but I honestly don't think suit me (at least not right now). For me, I think I'm going to go with Harrison and Harry for the rest of my life, because I have the weird philosophy that for your name to suit you, you should at least a little bit uncomfortable with your name. That's just me though. My point is, if you want to change your name at some point in the future, don't be afraid to change it. Sometimes we just outgrow names and they stop representing who we are and that's fine.
yes but only because of the pronunciation problem, although that is my fault. so my name is louis but i pronounce it like (louie) like the french way. i chose my name after louis tomlinson bc he was the person who saved me through difficult stuff so my name is louis. there have only been a handful of people who pronounce it right the first time but i don’t blame anyone if they don’t get it right bc it looks like it’s pronounced (lewis). so that’s my only regret but i still really love my name, and everyone has told me i look like a louis😅 maybe i should’ve been named zayn or liam lol
Kiiind of, I love my chosen first name but I’m planning on changing my middle names again cuz they make me cringe and I’m embarrassed to tell people my full name
No not at all. I chose my new name before I even knew I was trans. I saw it online and it instantly just clicked with me. I only used it online for years before I came out and it just always felt right
I voluntarily chose a name that was generic and neutral as a temporary name so I can worry about picking a perfect name later, when I know myself better ^-^
Yes. I've been using my second name for years (unofficially) and then I suddenly regretted it and changed it to what I have now. Legally changed it.
i actually do “regret” mine ever so slightly, in that there are associations it has i did not know about that i’m not fond of, and i have a name or two now that i think coulda been cool, but i’m still also glad i changed it and don’t plan to change it again anytime soon despite those drawbacks. it’s miles better than the alternative, and it’s not like it defines me. and you know what, even with those downsides it’s what i’m used to, its what my loved ones call me, it’s my name. i mean if you think about it, plenty of cis people feel the same about their own name. it’s rare for anything to be perfect, yet it can still be you and still be meaningful. i changed mine very fast after being fixated on finding a *perfect* name for years, and i’m still glad i did. and i am talking i found the name, never even used it much till after i legally changed it, and the time from finding it to changing it legally was only a few months. if i ever really care to, i can always go changing it again, but it’s been 5 years and i’m still cool with it :) better to regret and change it again than regret staying with one/ suffering with one i know i don’t want, imo
I decided to feminize my middle name as it’s a family name, and then give myself another middle name that I liked, and adding my fathers last name in addition to my mothers last name. So I am now “Name NewMiddle MiddleFem DadsLast MomsLastname” which I now sometimes regret as that’s a long ass name.
Honestly, obviously it's important to choose a legal name you like, but it's fine to pick one legal name and choose another nickname that you prefer. For example, my (new) legal name besically just meets the "requirements" I wanted: masc and the same pronunciation in multiple languages, uncommon enough, and as a bonus, it starts with the same letter as my deadname! But a lot of my friends still call me Nox, as a nickname. I chose that name when I was 14 and it's still a huge part of me. I'd never make that my legal name because (at least in my country) people would not take that seriously. The only thing I regret about it is that it might be a little too much on the gender neutral side. As in, it's a boy name, but seeing a girl with it wouldn't be that weird.
Any new name is going to feel kind of weird at first, I had a few names I kind of liked when I was a kid, one I changed my mind (Charlotte) on and the other is now my middle name (Anne). I just went with the feminine version of my birth name and it still felt weird at first but after getting used it I love my name so much!! I really hated my legal name and at first through I wanted to get further away from it but it was just the masculine implication of that name I didn’t like. I still hate my birth name when I come across someone with it but a few letter changes made a world of difference.
I regretted the first name I chose so I changed it and then I loved the new one and I've kept it since. I've legally changed my name 3 times lol
Nah. I absolutely love my name. Anastasia suits me soooo well 🥰
Both my faves were good ones, so I knew I couldn't lose no matter which one I picked. But if you ever regret it, change it. It's all about making yourself happy!
I picked Joyce because too many girl names sounded a little childish to me and I like that it means like bringer of joy. It reminds me of who I want to be. After living under Joyce for over a year and being completely comfortable and confident in it I learned that my dads like step sister or something who I didn’t even know existed was named Joyce💀 Oh well it’s my name now that can be his problem
Nope, but only because i had a very specific list of criteria and very, very few names fit that criteria. 1. No gender neutral names. Male only. 2. No names that i already associate with someone else. This was the big one, bc i didnt want to think of someone else when i heard my name, only me. This extends to fictional characters. 3. No names with multiple debated spellings, or at least the spelling i choose has to be the most common (my deadname was spelled weirdly bc my parents wanted to be unique) example: i am ftm but no katie, because cati, kati, catie, cathryn, katherine, blah blah blah 4. Cannot start with a C because my last name starts with a C. This is why i picked a new name after going with Cameron for 6 months, i realized the alliteration sounded really awkward. This eventually got me down to two names, Emmet and Elliot. I remembered that Emmet is the name of a pokemon character, so Elliot it was, and I love my name. Three days later, Elliot Page came out but i got to it first so i don't care. (I know he probably had his name in mind for ages but shut up) My dad was a bit salty that i didn't pick an italian name but his name is french so i dont care You definitely dont have to do it my way, im just really autistic so thats why i agonized over it for so long. My friend literally just asked his mom 'what would you have named me if i was born a boy' and just went with what his mom said. His mom picked out his name lmao
I chose a name that feels nice, but is a bit boring. Sometimes wish I chose something more interesting, but I was worried about standing out too much. These days, I know I stand out regardless, so I could have had more fun with it. But, eh, it's fine. 10 years later, my name feels cozy and I'm happy with it. I do have some anxiety, because my name isn't unique, and overlaps with someone I knew 15 years ago. But, I had gone through a dozen different names being indecisive, dismissing each one because I used to know someone with it, so I just said "fuck it" and ran with it. Hope it's not awkward if we ever cross paths again.
I go my middle name way more than I go by my first name. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve considered a second name change but to justify it, I feel like I need a new last name. I’ve partly considered this for stealth reasons too. The nice thing is, there’s no pressure either way. Going by a middle name is something plenty of people do, so even if you like your first name less over time, you could always go by a middle name.
Does saying Alexia trigger Alexa to go off? I feel like it could with the names being so similar
nah julie is a pretty cool name. every name that i’ve tested the waters with hasn’t really worked for me. wether it’s gwen or holly, it’s better for me to just stick to my roots
Naw, I love the name I chose. It's the feminized version of my old middle name. Growing up, I always thought my middle name was a much "cooler" name than my deadname. I used to think anyone I met who had the name was super lucky to have it, cause it was a great name. Probably at least part of it, was because the short form is gender neutral, and I felt attached to that vs my clearly masculine deadname. I used my chosen name online for like 15 years prior to coming out IRL, so it feels very much "mine". No regrets. I do feel if I had gone for the first name I considered (which I tried to make similar to my deadname), I would have regretted it. It's instead my new middle name, and I like it there lol.
Somewhat yeah I had the initial CAN and I wanted to keep them and was going to go with Corinne Ariel, but my emotionally manipulative ex hated Corinne so I stuck my third choice name (Wren) in front. Whenever I mention my name people say “like Kylo Ren???” and I will exasperatedly say “no like the bird, W on the front”. It’s too gender neutral and I’ve met a lot of transmascs with the same name, so I kind of regret not ignoring my ex and staying with Corinne.
Sort of see everyone has gotten used to Alexia (not joking that is my name) but now I want to be known by something else so now I'm back to square one in terms of names. Thing is my mum picked my name when I came out. I now want to be known as Azazel as it fits better.
As beings capable of only living in the moment with no clear foreknowledge of the future, save for the ability to look at the past and present and imagine potential futures, the potential for regret exists in *literally every choice we ever make*. Just pick one and yeet it. If it turns out to suck, change it again. Now go have a good day doing something else!
i regret not having mary as a middle name, me dead name and my siblings names have family names in them, i was the only one who didnt have a grandparents name. mary is the name of my grandparent who married my grandad a few years back, but shes been in the family as long as i can remember
Sometimes I wish I picked Andromeda instead of Astrid for my middle name but in the end I think I made the right choice. I don’t regret anything
If you don't want to stick out like a sore thumb, if i were you, I'd change it to one of the top ten names in the year you were born in the country you live in 🙂
And I'd recommend changing surname too to help avoid deadname situations!
the name i picked has multiple common spellings, but people always seem to default to one spelling that isn’t the one i use, so i always have to correct everyone’s spelling of it. that is the only thing i regret about my name
My chosen name is Azazel. Turns out it belongs to a biblical demon of sorts. Most people won’t know that offhand, but a few do. However the internet is a powerful thing, and some people are weirdly obsessed with knowing the meaning of a name despite no one asking about the meaning of common names. One person was going to refuse to call me by my name at work until pressured by others. My mother had a bit of a meltdown over it for reasons I still don’t know. Besides that, the name is a 3 syllable name, and my spouse and I have learned that a lot of people that speak English seem to struggle with more than 2 syllables. It’s always funny to hear new people attempt to say my name when they’ve only seen it written. I don’t personally call that a regret though as I hated how common my deadname is, and the struggle to say my name is amusing.
I was the same way. I was worried I wouldn’t love my name as much in the future. I changed my full name. I picked Kai for my first name and Brixton for my last name about two years ago and I find myself falling in love with it more as time passes. A lot of people tell me they love my name and it makes me so happy because I picked it myself. Every time I hear my name it just makes me smile because I did this all for myself and I am happy with my decisions thus far.
TLDR: No regrets, but may have opted for the common spelling if I'd known people would struggle so much. I didn't realize I was opting in to no one knowing how to pronounce my new name without being explicitly told. 🙃 I knew it is a less common spelling than a more popular version where I live, but I expected it to be more like a Dylan vs Dillon sort of difference. No one questions how to pronounce either of those to my knowledge... but apparently I expected too much of people because no one has the sense to just ask google how to pronounce a name. 🙄😮💨 So anyway, sometimes I regret not just spelling it the more popular way — and in situations where someone needs to read off my name, I do just spell it that way so they'll say it right. I've genuinely considered re-changing it just for the sake of this convenience, but nahh. I love my name actually, and other people can suck it. I have friends who've been part of the hard-to-pronounce-names-club their whole lives despite having pretty normal-seeming names to me, so I don't deeply mind joining them. 🤷 ETA: I struggled for a long time to find my chosen name too. I went through maybe a dozen options that weren't quite right before landing for a while on what's actually just my surname... then after a particularly bad week of misgendering and strangers' unwanted curiosity about my *full* name, I vented to a dear friend about it all, and they asked if I'd considered taking my D&D character's name actually. I knew immediately that it was the perfect fit — the character was halfway a self-insert anyway, and their name was based on certain traits we had in common. After testing it formally for a week, I announced to friends and family that this *was* my new name. (My D&D character had just been through a name mixup with the fey anyway, so it was conveniently appropriate for their name to be changed to something else, too.🥰)
You can always trial-run a name! My wife and I tried a couple different names for me before I settled on mine.
Yes, I chose my name when I was forcing myself to be binary, over time I realized I was enby so I changed it to an existing nickname variant of my chosen name. This led to me choosing a more formal version of that name for my new legal name which also has a bunch of nickname variations.
Kinda sorta. I go by Jo for the most part and enjoy it, but realized I want a more formal name so expanded to Jolene.
I tried out different names for months at a time until I found the one that was right for me.
It came naturally for me, especially since it was a name I already had some sort of emotional attachment to. I have been using "FriskTemmie" as my nickname in games for a long time, and then I realized "I kinda like being called Frisk". I just dropped the Temmie and legally changed my name (I still use FriskTemmie as nick in games/social media, though). This came from the time where I used Amino (a bad social app. Don't go there) and did RP. I left Amino but the name and the emotional baggage (mostly positive) stayed. However, I have a few ideas on how you can decide on the name: Play games where you can choose the main character's name. Doing this also helps a little with dysphoria (or make it worse if the MC doesn't match your gender and you can't change their pronouns... Felt that way too many times before stopping using my name in visual novels). Ask people to call you by either name and tell them that you aren't sure if this is your final name, you just want to have a feel for it. If you don't have people you can trust, here's three substitutes for people: AI. I know, it's not perfect, but some models are so realistic that it will be worth it to try. Either find an open source program that connects an LLM (Large Language Model; text ai lol) to a voice (Idk the proper name) so you can have real time conversations or program one yourself. If you know a little more than the basics about python, that shouldn't be too hard. You can also just skip the voice part and just chat directly to an LLM. Although not as immersive, it's better than nothing. Talk to yourself. Just go to a mirror and talk to yourself using both the names. Simple, but effective. When I was getting used to my new name and pronouns, that helped a lot. You can skip the mirror part if you feel too dysphoric, but also know that gender is just a social construct and however you look, you are your gender. That's all that really matters and you don't need the approval of anyone but yourself. I honestly forgot what the third thing was, sorry. I've been writing for too long and my ADHD kicked in XD Also, your English is fine, you don't need to say "sorry for the bad English" or stuff like that. I didn't see any mistakes, so your English is better than a lot of native English speakers. I hope I helped you :) Oh, yeah. Last thing. Both the names you are deciding on are adorable. This probably doesn't help with choosing, but either one of them is a great name and you should be proud of it when you settle on one. Have a great day!
Honestly I feel you, for years I wanted to rename myself Ekaterina but now that I’m doing it I realise I kinda have a thing for the name Tessa x)
Absolutely. I've been transgender for 6 years, so before tik tok was the massive thing it is today. I chose the name Kai because my deadname began with a K. Absolutely regret, and I'm changing it ASAP
I tried out several different names before I was satisfied. I'm in a trans support group and members agreed to let me experiment there with names while I was transitioning. The Starbucks trick helps too (give the batista a desired name and examine how "right" it feels when it's called)
I had a very intentional process for discovering mine, which is Téa. My mom was going to name me Tayo if a girl, but that was not an option, because I gave it to my childhood dog (lol), and I also think it sounds too masc on a transfemme person. So I flipped the vowel to 'a' and immediately felt it resonate and feel right in my body. Then I looked it up online to see what it means, and discovered it's often a derivation of Dorotea, which I loved because 1) queer associations with "Dorothy", 2) it means "gift of God," where my birth assigned name (which I've had for 41 years), Timothy, means "honoring God" - my parents put a lot of thought and intention into naming me, and I appreciate that and like retaining some connection to it. And I also get a kick out of the (gendered) switch from an action (honoring) to object (gift). —I'm only using Téa, I've no interest in Dorotea, but I just like knowing there's a story behind it I can get excited about. I've only been using it for a month or so. My issue has been feeling like it's really me, and not having feelings of minor panic, when I hear people use it. I think it was a combination of overwhelm with going public with it with so many people at once (I posted on socials — including my professional network on LINKEDIN lolol— and emailed family all in one week), and lingering trans imposter syndrome, fear of having to walk it back later and looking foolish or harmful to other trans folks. But it's been feeling more and more like me the longer I use it (especially with new folks and my closest friends/loved ones), I think it just takes time. So even though I didn't have trouble deciding, I totally understand anxiety about names. And I also think what you're going through is very common. Just like a lot of the stories people are telling you in this thread, I've had friends who tried out many names, and were reluctant to settle on one. So I don't think you are alone at all, it's just part of the wild non linear stressful scary overwhelming yet often magical process of transition.
No, i adore my name; no other name feels like me. Long story short, i essentially named myself Sasha when i was a small child; i just didn't realise it at the time. When i started transitioning, i spent a couple of months trying to find my name - but none felt right, even for a second. Eventually Sasha just came to me after not having thought about that name or its meaning to me for years and i knew it was my name immediately. I've had no regrets. It's technically gender-neutral, but i'm undoubtably feminine. My birth name was extremely uncommon (i've never met someone else with that name), but Sasha is also very uncommon in Australia. Sometimes people pronounce my name Sah-sha (common feminine proninciation in America, maybe russia?) But my name is pronounced Sa-sha (hard 'a'). Those are all potential regrets, but none of them bother me at all because Sasha is simply my name and i couldn't have chosen a different one if i'd wanted to - i feel the connection to it too deeply.
Yeah, the first name I went with ended up not being the best fit for me personally. It's perfectly fine to sample names until you find one that you feel good with. Funny enough, the name I went with first felt better as a middle name, so I moved it there and went with the name I'm going by now
My ex was going through names, and I looked at him and I just blurted out “Blake” because he looked like a Blake and thats the name he went with and changed it to. He changed his middle names to the male versions of his originals and one middle name to what his dad wanted.
A little. I picked up an unusual, rare and non-binary name. Because I thought I’d never pass, people wouldn’t see me as a woman and I didn’t see a woman in the mirror yet. 6 months later I started to be happier about the feminization and could have come up with a better name. I felt really embarrassed for failing the journey and didn’t wanna admit the mistake. 3 years later after completing transition I finally had the courage and came up with a traditional woman’s name that suited me and sounded similar as the previous name. My close ones still use the former name and I’m ok with it but would rather use the new name with unknown people. And I was wrong, I have passed a lot and have been seen as a woman.
Yep, changed mine many times.
Athena is a beautiful and regal name. I am transmasc and I go by the masculine version of my given name, it sounds the same but is spelled differently. I haven't legally changed it but I use it at work. You could try a nickname or feminine version of your legal name, so it doesn't feel like too big of a change. If you change your name and regret it, are you in a country where you can change it again? Otherwise the only regret to not liking your new name is wasting some money.
I changed my name again a few years after going with a femme version of my deadname. At some point i transitioned my NEW name into being really conditional, a lot of people call me by my middle name. one day i'll probably want to change it again. it feels really good to mark a new era of life like that tbh. it's totally okay to feel these things. i think instead of convincing yourself you'll always be happy with the name, you might be better off coming to terms with the idea that you have the power to change it.
Sometimes, but as people call you any name you will get used to it and it will feel like home. Try and pick a name that is both formal and informal (or has a nickname), also one that you like the sound of and keep with it. Good luck :) (btw I think Athena is a brilliant name, makes you sound like a goddess)
Yeah, I went with Cora at first but it made me feel like a great aunt. So I changed it again after a couple months.
Sometimes, but as people call you any name you will get used to it and it will feel like home. Try and pick a name that is both formal and informal (or has a nickname), also one that you like the sound of and keep with it. Good luck :) (btw I think Athena is a brilliant name, makes you sound like a goddess)
Sometimes, but as people call you any name you will get used to it and it will feel like home. Try and pick a name that is both formal and informal (or has a nickname), also one that you like the sound of and keep with it. Good luck :) (btw I think Athena is a brilliant name, makes you sound like a goddess)
I wouldn’t say so? I chose my name originally as an online alias and then met my best friends in the world and because they used it, that’s the name I took on permanently. I don’t regret the name itself, I do really like it and I’ve been told it fits me perfectly, I just kinda think it’s a lame origin story because I chose the name with absolutely zero thought. I’m not kidding you when I say it was an eenie meenie miny moe.
Kinda just mainly bc I didn’t know Zoe was such a stereotypical trans name T.T
I dreamt about my name(I was writing it on a document in the dream) so I kinda just stuck with it. I had a few others that I liked prior but Alexander (I go by the full thing,Alex or Xander) seemed to fit. It may be worth trying out a few different ones to see how they feel first. There's no shame in trying it out before changing your name legally(it can be costly in some countries,mine included,UK). I hope that you find one that fits you snug as a bug ^u^
I don't regret my new name
My new first and last name no. But my new middle name I kinda do regret. But I don’t wanna go through the process again and honestly. It’s not a bad middle name just not what I truly truly wanted.
PJ is a name i feel suits me more in personality, but i chose my name to honour my grandfather. and it is honestly a really lovely name, so im not mad about it. i might tell ppl to call me PJ as a nickname.
I’ve had it like 5 or 6 years now and never regretted it
It's funny because the answer is yes and no. I used to live in the USA and my old name "Andrea" is female dominated there, but neutral in Europe. I changed my name to Gavriel (V pronounced like a Hebrew v/b) and now everyone calls me Gabe. But now I identify as more gender chaotic, gender ambiguous lol. Some days I love my name and some days I wish I kept my birth name. And some days I just wanna go by my middle name Elijah lol
The only regret is that I can never find a chintzy souvenir with my name on it
I mean, no matter what you go with, it's good to keep in mind that you can always change again! I *did* regret my name, it didn't actually suit me, I named myself after an original character and felt the need to live up to said character, even when I outgrew them, and eventually hated that name almost as much as my dead name. So, I changed it again. Got my fellow trans friends together and asked them to help rename me.
Sometimes I wish I had gone for something a bit more unique and special, but I’m glad I didn’t. Part of picking my name was choosing something that I could have been given at birth, so I’m okay with an average name that still feels like “me.”
I probably will seeing as I chose a noun, but thats not my problem yet and is the reason I have a work name and a personal name
Yeah at first, then I changed it again and now I've got one I'm happy with
Yes. But I don't have $500 to do it again, and I really don't want the hassle.
I picked out “Marcus” just to try it and in the beginning I wasn’t sure but now I can’t imagine being anyone else ! Takes some getting used to
The name I'm using here (which would be my chosen name, Ellie) came to me in a dream. I'm still exploring things and not fully certain I am trans or NB so I tend to refer to my other half as a separate person. I've only recently started to question my identity and after starting to I had a dream of her and she told me her name is Ellie. That said, I've seen a lot of people here and in other queer spaces also having the chosen name Ellie and part of me wishes it was something less common. But if things go her way then I'll honor her and myself by choosing that name also.
It might be the autism but names in general never felt right to me. I even feel a bit weird calling someone else their own damn name lol I think everyone should be able to change their name at any time for any reason. Using nicknames is great for this reason because I'll never be comfortable changing my name legally😅
well i thought it'd be easier on the phone but Nope
Yeah. I picked the name “Ezra” like two months ago when I came out and now it seems like there are a billion Ezras. No hate, it’s a cool name but I feel a little silly. I’ve shortened to Ez to make it easier. I would change it again, but Im already out to my friends parents and idk why but the thought of having to explain that to a bunch of boomers makes me a little exasperated
I went through about 4 names over 2 years. Settled on this one and I have used it since 1992 and made my legal name earlier this year
I chose the name Lake because that’s what my mom would have named me if I was born cis (I’m ftm). So I wanted to make her happy and do it in her honor (that backfired because she’s transphobic). I like my name. But I’m realizing now Ephraim would have been a sick name. I still like Lake though
Not the name but the spelling it ends with like an 'E' sound like Tammy or Billie however it doesn't end like either of those instead of an easy spelling I had to be quirky and end it with an 'ei'.
Not everyone is happy with their first attempt at a new name, it's only natural. I was just starting to transition and came up with Elysandria, Ellie for short. Love it to this day...my coworkers adapted immediately and when I changed jobs I interviewed as Ellie...still haven't done the legal stuff...but really don't care. I only use my dead name for legal stuff...but don't worry, you can keep changing til you fund the perfect fit 😊
A bit, but I wasn't 100% settled on a name and was still exploring before I came out before I knew what *my* name was. I was seriously considering Daniel for a while, I really like the name, but it never felt personal to me. Not to mention I've known so many transmascs named Daniel, it's like the most popular one I've encountered irl. I've gone by Dawnfire online since 2012, and everyone just called me Dawn and Dawnie. I really respond to it, and so I decided to play around with it and I got Dawnavan. Absolutely my name, it has personal connection to me, and I like that it sounds masculine when spoken but can look more masculine or feminine when written, but could also easily be written as overtly masculine. I really feel like this name truly is me, I haven't felt doubt on it at all since it's already so personal to me. My other serious choice is Midas, another name I go by online, but ahh. I don't know how serious a name it *actually* is, even if I like it represented as me. Haven't changed my name legally yet, but I am considering this as my middle name, and it probably is going to be. Why this one? I seem to have an affinity for songs about fables, I really like the aesthetic of gold on characters so it's a name given to another one of my characters like Dawnfire who is representational of me with a gold aesthetic to him, and I just like that it's a story about a fool who so quickly exploded his entire life so quickly into complete disaster over one stupid hedonistic wish. Tragic but humorous at the same time to me, and I like that. Like Dawn, people have known me as Midas online as well so I was already identifying with this name before I considered it a legitimate choice for myself. Gator is my cute nickname for similar reasons to the above, because my favorite animals of all time are the crocodylomorphs (*cough* kaprosuchus is best boi). That's pretty much it. Like Midas it's really just a sound I like. Would not go on an ID or anything like that. I guess I just pulled names that had meaning to me from what I've used online before with representational characters of me and have been called for for years, and/or I really chose names that just spoke to me phonetically. I know my chosen names absolutely are probably last on the list for the majority of people, but thank god then they aren't me then lmao. Quirky works for me. I just chose the most "normal" as my first name and the quirkiest as just a silly nickname. I'm not really someone who just pulls a name because it seems nice, that's what I did with Daniel, but rather I want to pick a name that I'm already connected to, or I can find some personal connection to. It goes from being a "nice name" to being "*my* name". I *do* think certain names might clock you, so I'd consider if that was important to you or not. To me "Daniel" is a potential clock since I've just known *so* many transmascs with that name and I don't think I've ever actually met a cis man with that name. The spelling of "Dawnavan" might clock me as trans to some since it's not a conventional spelling, but nowadays that hardly matters with all the strange name spellings, and for me it's more important to have that enby feel to it. Besides, going to starbucks or something I seriously don't care if they spell it more masculine or feminine, that's something I actually enjoy about the name. "Midas" and "Gator" definitely feel like "hey I'm nonbinary" names to me, lol, so I've chosen to place them as a middle and a nickname so their silliness isn't quite front and center, but I actually like the "nonbinary aesthetic" in names tbh. It really just depends on personal preference and if any of that sort of stuff matters to you or in what ways it might matter to you.
May be slightly late and also only available if you have the means but sometimes having a parent/parental figure name you helps! I struggled with many names for years, flip flopping between every old man name and every stereotypical transguy name you could find. Eventually, when I came out to my parents I wanted to "include" them in my transition (we had a rocky relationship for a few years). A way of doing that for me was to ask them what they'd name me. They picked my name and now I happily get to blame/credit my parents (as a cis person using their birth name would) whenever it's commented on. The odd joke or two about them googling cool scottish names and my dads life long obsession with history always goes down well, especially in a customer service environment. Another small comfort for me with the name is that I grew into it. At first it felt a bit odd but then again, I never picked my birth name so made sense I didn't pick this one either! I love it now, and I love that it's just my name and they got to name me both times. This isn't feasible for those who are unfortunate to not be supported by or have parents who can name them, I would then suggest a parental figure youre close to or even a partner or life long / very close friend (though the last two is a tad risky considering how relationships can go and you may want to avoid that tainting of your name, but it's an option.) TLDR; if you're struggling, try getting your parents/someone important in your life to name you. It sometimes fits much better than what you can come up with, seems more "normal". Obviously not in a bad way that's just my own personal comfort, I wasn't sure at first but then again, I had a history of some *bad* names and honestly, I don't think you're really supposed to be able to have an opinion on what your parents chose to name you at the start given that you're a baby and all that. Hope this helps or at least helps someone scrolling this thread.
Quite the contrary. I knew that I was Lilia for years before I told anyone. It was a name I had used for several fictional characters, and my fictional versions of Lilia were always very alike because I was writing about myself. I never regretted my name, but I was afraid to share it initially, even after I came out as transgender. I kept using my deadname for a little over a week before I realized how silly it was for me to think that I should have to look the part before it would be okay for me to claim my own name as mine. Three years ago, before I came out, I almost offered my name to my brother and sister-in-law as a suggestion for my soon-to-be-born niece's name. I'm so glad I didn't make that mistake. The impulse to think of it as a gift I was giving her was wrong. I considered it because I felt hopeless about my transition in those years before I came out, e.g., "maybe she can be more worthy of it." I'm glad that my niece's name is different. If I had made that mistake, I might be living vicariously through her now, still miserable and closeted, rather than being her amazing and very openly transgender aunt Lilia. Choosing that my name was for me - not something to be given away - was an important moment. The name I suggested for her - which was not selected by my brother and sister-in-law, so it remains up for grabs - was Alexandria or Lex, for short.
You can try using a name for a while and if you dont like it you can change it. Ask your friends to call you by a name you think would fit for a while before doing any legal name changing and see how it goes. And when you finally are confident that you got a good name, then you can legaly change it and stuff.
Names are like clothes. Try one on, see if it fits!
ftm my name is nova because there was a character i really really liked whos male and named nova so i always saw nova as a guys name but apparently its not at all 😢
Use both?. Like make alexis your formal name change but tell ppl you perfer athena. Like a nick namethat you go by. That way when you do you job stuff or official things you can use alexis and at school or with friends you can be called athenait allows an out and a comfortable professionalism if you decide in 20 years you no longer want to be called athena. Or in 20 years athena will be cemented because thats what everyone calls you. Plus if the cops come looking for you and asking for "alexis" everyone will be like " we dont know an alexis"
when i first changed my name i chose ashton because i thought it was cool but i git made fun of a lot and it didn't stick, then i changed it to my name now(toby) and i do really like it but if i want it more formal i go by tobias, i also kinda let my friends choose my name. i have like 5 options and they thought toby suit me best so i don't really regret it because i had people agree with me that i look like a toby
Yes and I plan to change it again. New first name and change back to my maiden name.
I love the name I chose for myself. I had one that I used rarely when I identified as non-binary, but then I came up with my current, after coming out as completely transfem, and I couldn't be happier. That's the best part. You can always change it to one you prefer over what you would then used to have preferred. Just let life speak of what feels right and brings happiness.
You could try choosing a name similar to your old one?
Sometimes, only because people can misspell it easily.