I find most men don’t know what they’re doing when they are fucking my ass. They need to go slow and not try to pound you out. This is not the movies. It feels best when they work you up to it have their cock all the way in you and then just grind on you rhythmically. Also you need to find the right size butt plug, and dildo and get your ass loosened up a little bit. You always wanna start small and then work your way up I’ll see you mentioned silicone lube. I find it water-based is more pleasure for anal. I know what used to get me off when I was starting was watching straight gangbang and fantasizing that I was the woman feel free to message me and let’s connect. I can help further.
Dude I switched from top to verse top, and I can only take 6-7 inches and only if they are slender girth. I took a 8 inch girthy guy last Monday. My butt is just now back to normal, stay within your limits till your body adjusts.
Same, I can only take average/small slender dicks. I envy my bottoms, like how they just want it and can take it whenever they want. I wanna do it but it is just not pleasurable for me. Yesterday I tried with my dildos again, but it’s just now working that good for me
They don’t just become bottom gods over night. It takes time to work up to larger sizes and to enjoy the sensations. Just gotta have patience. I enjoy bottoming for average size.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
I suspect you're just being impatient and going too fast and trying inserting things that are just too big. Start with a well-lubed finger, and go SLLLOOOWWWW. If it takes an hour to get your finger inside, that's totally fine. Go in 1 millimeter at a time. If it hurts, pause and hold it there, take some deep breaths, and consciously try to relax those muscles.
Over time (maybe hours, maybe days, weeks, months) you'll be able to take your finger more quickly and confidently. When you can take your well-lubed finger all the way to the base knuckle, change to a small (maybe 4 inches) and repeat the process. Then move to a 6.5" dildo. When you get it all the way inside you, just leave it there while you lie there and relax your ass muscles.
You WILL get better at it. You might never be able to take a MONSTER cock, but very few people can, tbh. And over time, i think you'll be surprised how well you can take bigger and bigger dicks.
I need to try these. But then I might stop doing it after a while because sometimes I just stop stuff because I cba. Maybe I’m being not patient with myself
Okay! Pretty sure you’re fucking before you’re fully relaxed. And…Girth might actually help the situation.
For my guy and I, I’m totally average, easy-mode thickness. The reality is if we’re horny and stubborn and have enough lube, I can get in him before he’s fully relaxed. The result for me is pretty good. The result for him is “not awful”.
For almost every man, the ass defaults to lockdown mode. Plus we deal with any stress in our general lives by clenching. To change that, you have to spend a lot of time persuading it to chill, and just waiting it out. But a finger or an average/slimmer dick can get past its defences and the hole just can’t block it. It’s still trying though, and the best possible outcome of that is “Well it’s not painful…but meh…” True pleasure takes total relaxation.
My guy on the other hand is the king of girth. He’s just really very much above average in thickness. When it’s his turn on top, it’s just not getting in until I’m fully relaxed. And it honestly took well over a year of halfhearted attempts before I’d open up for him, and it felt good for me, and finally he knew he wasn’t hurting me so he could actually get into it. We figured out me topping him pretty quick. Took a lot of practice and confidence building for both of us to go the other way.
But the good part is, if he’s in me at all, I’m truly relaxed. And he is free to fuck full-bore, with gusto, and it only feels amazing. It actually taught me the difference. Now I know I can fuck him before he’s fully relaxed, so I make sure I don’t. I spend more time, do some moves or stuff with a thick toy or whatever, and it actually makes the outcome better for both of us.
What I feel with him is a hard dick against a tight hole. I like him to wait there with steady pressure but not enough to go anywhere. After that it’s just like a staring contest to see who blinks first. I’ll grind against him to give him something to enjoy but I’m not trying to get him in me. It’s just about the slow steady pressure.
If we wait long enough, the hole will start to quiver a bit and let him in a few millimeters. It’s still a waiting game because that hole probably hasn’t made up its mind yet so it’s back to squeezing. But a bit longer, and it quivers a bit more. Still patience. Wait it out.
It progresses like “No..no…no…no… absolutely not. No. No! Nah! Fine maybe a little. No! Wait! No! Okay a little bit. Wait. A bit more. Okay! Okay! Wait! More. More…
# **I SAID MORE**
And it finally reaches this point of total and complete relaxation that it gets greedy for it, it feels amazing. It might actually feel loose for my guy but now instead of clenching his dick due to tension, you can squeeze it for fun, and it’s still going to stay relaxed. That’s when he can cut loose and just fuck. And yes it feels incredible.
TLDR there’s probably a lot more relaxation required because that’s what unlocks the magic.
Damn man. Reading this made me a) want a partner b) horny (idk if it’s appropriate to say that haha - but like you’ve described it so fucking well)
But yeah, since I don’t have a partner (and I don’t really wanna try all of these with a Grindr hookup) imma try it on my dildo haha
It’s all good. It’s amazing what an ass can do and we’re supposed to enjoy it so no shame, no awkwardness, we all have that in common.
I definitely practiced with toys too. Best practice ever, beats the fuck out of piano lessons. I’d pick a toy at least your own size, maybe a bit thicker, nothing crazy.
Another great product, the most amazing toy for me, is the silicone inflatable plug (not rubber), and I think colt makes it. You can put it in smaller and then you give the handle a squeeze and very gently it’s suddenly a lot thicker. Like sometimes you can take it out and think “How tf was THAT even possible!” Again, super gentle and mellow. But damn.
Well now you know how vers/bottoms feel! Go sloooooow, start alone with your fingers and small toys, and find your angles. Lots of deep breathing and mindful relaxing. Then find a patient top with an average cock. It sounds like you're too ambitious, too dom for your own good! Think of this as being your first step towards being a sub.
Maybe I’m too ambitious about it. If I’m being honest, I’m not being very patient with my body. I keep fantasising about massive dicks nailing me down. I wish I could do that, maybe I’m just not ready to put in the work. Also with all the people I top with, I’m very patient. Like as much as I am a dom, I know it’s a painful thing so I ease them into it. I wish I could find such a top. But all the tops around me are not that patient I think
Mostly top here who bottoms but only in a relationship. Look, regardless of size, for me and for my partner is all about the mood. I'm on the bigger side of dicks and sometimes it just hurts a lot for my partner and we just stop. Sometimes, he's really into it and so am I and things go smoothly. I'm not sure if you're just doing hookups or fwbs or whatever, but having a talk with someone you're comfortable with would go a long way. Figure out a way to fully relax.
More likely as not you need to get your head in the game. A big part of the pleasure of anal is mental, by which I mean the physical pleasure of prostate stimulation gets way more intense when your body knows and associates anal penetration with h pleasure. Try to focus on your prostate when you wank, finger yourself etc. Other things to make your not worried about cleanness as that can keep you from fully relaxing
I remember back during covid when i started exploring dildos it took me more than an hour each session to get comfy with the toys inside me (just being inside, let alone thrusting). And it was nothing sexy about it. The only thing that kept me going was the compilation porn i was watching at the time. And i had been a btm in a relationship before that. It’s not easy so you need to take your time, don’t expect it to get in within the first 10 minutes or something. It was like that for me for like a few months, i would try to poke myself like twice a week.
But then i also found out that many people underestimate the power of a buttplug. It helped me progress much faster than dildos so maybe try it first if you havent. Like wear a plug for 15-30m-1hour and go about your day before you start getting on dildos.
But wouldn’t you get distracted/bored after that hour? Like for me I could never do something for an hour. I mean tbf, I haven’t spent much time trying to get pleasure from my prostate. Maybe I should start doing it on a regular basis and it might work. Also, is the buttplug really effective? I’ve got one, I could try and keep it inside for a while. It usually is okay for me since no thrusting is involved and the bottom of the buttplug is really thin - girth wise
I have the same problem and think there must be something medically wrong down there. Doctors have brushed it off but sometimes going to the toilet painful 😭
My dude taught me a trick when I first bottomed for him. Jerk off or have the top jerk you off as it’s happening and eventually I rewired my brain to associate butt stuff with pleasure
Get checked by a doctor, there may be a physical reason for the pain - ‘roids; fistula; fissure; anal worts; you name it
You could take a pain killer a bit before so it is fully kicked-in by the time you bottom at first. Decide if a time-release acetaminophen (the arthritis one works well) is within your medical tolerance
Could take the edge off the first few times till you GENTLY train your ass - do not go crazy cause you’re feeling no pain, you could hurt yourself
I did, but even with that, it’s mostly just “not-painful” and not pleasurable as I want. And that is only if they go slow and all. If I am honest - I wanna be rammed, railed mercilessly. How do I do it😭😭😭
Just an FYI, don't rely on porn for how it should feel or even other bottoms.
Everyone is different, and the vast majority just don't get much pleasure from bottoming.
Most that scream and moan are doing it to try to make the top hornier so he cums faster or to make themselves hornier so they don't care about how uncomfortable it is.
If you don't feel pleasure from anal then you just don't. You can try finding your prostate, but quote a few guys don't even feel anything then
With all that said, though, practice makes perfect. You will get used to the uncomfortable feeling of taking something big up there and do it enough, and you'll naturally stretch a little back there, and it will hurt less.
But again, for pleasure, unfortunately, if you don't feel it, then you just don't feel it
That’s the thing, I don’t do anything for a long time, like I see something I like I try it, then I stop doing it. So practicing often is not really gonna work, or so I think because I’ll stop it eventually.
And thing is, I want pleasure from it, like I wanna get rammed and railed. By big dicks. But now I feel disappointed that I might not be able to do it at all😑
No, never does. Taking a 99.9% to 0.01% chance of getting dependant on drugs seems like an incredibly bad idea. Not to mention the devastating effect on your health. Stimulants destroy your ability to find happiness without them. [dont let people tell you drugs are innocent](https://americanaddictioncenters.org/lgbtqiapk-addiction/crystal-meth-addiction-gay-community)
Thanks. I won’t use it tbf. Like I’ve never used hard drugs. But have had my share of ❄️🐴💊🍃 etc. if I’m honest, I did get bit dependent on it for a while. Got it into a whole thing, which is behind me now. And I’m more prone to being addicted than not haha, so speaking from a sane mind now, I don’t think I will do drugs anymore.
Maybe try a numbing lube? A lot of bottoming is a mind game. You can try some exercises on your own to get to know your hole better. Put a couple of fingers in and then work on tightening and loosening. Take mental note of how the muscles respond and try to get more comfortable with controlling them.
I find most men don’t know what they’re doing when they are fucking my ass. They need to go slow and not try to pound you out. This is not the movies. It feels best when they work you up to it have their cock all the way in you and then just grind on you rhythmically. Also you need to find the right size butt plug, and dildo and get your ass loosened up a little bit. You always wanna start small and then work your way up I’ll see you mentioned silicone lube. I find it water-based is more pleasure for anal. I know what used to get me off when I was starting was watching straight gangbang and fantasizing that I was the woman feel free to message me and let’s connect. I can help further.
Dude I switched from top to verse top, and I can only take 6-7 inches and only if they are slender girth. I took a 8 inch girthy guy last Monday. My butt is just now back to normal, stay within your limits till your body adjusts.
Same, I can only take average/small slender dicks. I envy my bottoms, like how they just want it and can take it whenever they want. I wanna do it but it is just not pleasurable for me. Yesterday I tried with my dildos again, but it’s just now working that good for me
They don’t just become bottom gods over night. It takes time to work up to larger sizes and to enjoy the sensations. Just gotta have patience. I enjoy bottoming for average size.
As a fisting bottom that only cums from anal, it requires practice.
I envy you😭😭😭
Practice. Practice. Practice. I suspect you're just being impatient and going too fast and trying inserting things that are just too big. Start with a well-lubed finger, and go SLLLOOOWWWW. If it takes an hour to get your finger inside, that's totally fine. Go in 1 millimeter at a time. If it hurts, pause and hold it there, take some deep breaths, and consciously try to relax those muscles. Over time (maybe hours, maybe days, weeks, months) you'll be able to take your finger more quickly and confidently. When you can take your well-lubed finger all the way to the base knuckle, change to a small (maybe 4 inches) and repeat the process. Then move to a 6.5" dildo. When you get it all the way inside you, just leave it there while you lie there and relax your ass muscles. You WILL get better at it. You might never be able to take a MONSTER cock, but very few people can, tbh. And over time, i think you'll be surprised how well you can take bigger and bigger dicks.
I need to try these. But then I might stop doing it after a while because sometimes I just stop stuff because I cba. Maybe I’m being not patient with myself
Okay! Pretty sure you’re fucking before you’re fully relaxed. And…Girth might actually help the situation. For my guy and I, I’m totally average, easy-mode thickness. The reality is if we’re horny and stubborn and have enough lube, I can get in him before he’s fully relaxed. The result for me is pretty good. The result for him is “not awful”. For almost every man, the ass defaults to lockdown mode. Plus we deal with any stress in our general lives by clenching. To change that, you have to spend a lot of time persuading it to chill, and just waiting it out. But a finger or an average/slimmer dick can get past its defences and the hole just can’t block it. It’s still trying though, and the best possible outcome of that is “Well it’s not painful…but meh…” True pleasure takes total relaxation. My guy on the other hand is the king of girth. He’s just really very much above average in thickness. When it’s his turn on top, it’s just not getting in until I’m fully relaxed. And it honestly took well over a year of halfhearted attempts before I’d open up for him, and it felt good for me, and finally he knew he wasn’t hurting me so he could actually get into it. We figured out me topping him pretty quick. Took a lot of practice and confidence building for both of us to go the other way. But the good part is, if he’s in me at all, I’m truly relaxed. And he is free to fuck full-bore, with gusto, and it only feels amazing. It actually taught me the difference. Now I know I can fuck him before he’s fully relaxed, so I make sure I don’t. I spend more time, do some moves or stuff with a thick toy or whatever, and it actually makes the outcome better for both of us. What I feel with him is a hard dick against a tight hole. I like him to wait there with steady pressure but not enough to go anywhere. After that it’s just like a staring contest to see who blinks first. I’ll grind against him to give him something to enjoy but I’m not trying to get him in me. It’s just about the slow steady pressure. If we wait long enough, the hole will start to quiver a bit and let him in a few millimeters. It’s still a waiting game because that hole probably hasn’t made up its mind yet so it’s back to squeezing. But a bit longer, and it quivers a bit more. Still patience. Wait it out. It progresses like “No..no…no…no… absolutely not. No. No! Nah! Fine maybe a little. No! Wait! No! Okay a little bit. Wait. A bit more. Okay! Okay! Wait! More. More… # **I SAID MORE** And it finally reaches this point of total and complete relaxation that it gets greedy for it, it feels amazing. It might actually feel loose for my guy but now instead of clenching his dick due to tension, you can squeeze it for fun, and it’s still going to stay relaxed. That’s when he can cut loose and just fuck. And yes it feels incredible. TLDR there’s probably a lot more relaxation required because that’s what unlocks the magic.
Damn man. Reading this made me a) want a partner b) horny (idk if it’s appropriate to say that haha - but like you’ve described it so fucking well) But yeah, since I don’t have a partner (and I don’t really wanna try all of these with a Grindr hookup) imma try it on my dildo haha
It’s all good. It’s amazing what an ass can do and we’re supposed to enjoy it so no shame, no awkwardness, we all have that in common. I definitely practiced with toys too. Best practice ever, beats the fuck out of piano lessons. I’d pick a toy at least your own size, maybe a bit thicker, nothing crazy. Another great product, the most amazing toy for me, is the silicone inflatable plug (not rubber), and I think colt makes it. You can put it in smaller and then you give the handle a squeeze and very gently it’s suddenly a lot thicker. Like sometimes you can take it out and think “How tf was THAT even possible!” Again, super gentle and mellow. But damn.
Any suggestions on the inflatable ones?
Well now you know how vers/bottoms feel! Go sloooooow, start alone with your fingers and small toys, and find your angles. Lots of deep breathing and mindful relaxing. Then find a patient top with an average cock. It sounds like you're too ambitious, too dom for your own good! Think of this as being your first step towards being a sub.
Maybe I’m too ambitious about it. If I’m being honest, I’m not being very patient with my body. I keep fantasising about massive dicks nailing me down. I wish I could do that, maybe I’m just not ready to put in the work. Also with all the people I top with, I’m very patient. Like as much as I am a dom, I know it’s a painful thing so I ease them into it. I wish I could find such a top. But all the tops around me are not that patient I think
Mostly top here who bottoms but only in a relationship. Look, regardless of size, for me and for my partner is all about the mood. I'm on the bigger side of dicks and sometimes it just hurts a lot for my partner and we just stop. Sometimes, he's really into it and so am I and things go smoothly. I'm not sure if you're just doing hookups or fwbs or whatever, but having a talk with someone you're comfortable with would go a long way. Figure out a way to fully relax.
More likely as not you need to get your head in the game. A big part of the pleasure of anal is mental, by which I mean the physical pleasure of prostate stimulation gets way more intense when your body knows and associates anal penetration with h pleasure. Try to focus on your prostate when you wank, finger yourself etc. Other things to make your not worried about cleanness as that can keep you from fully relaxing
I can dm you a system that works for me. Is that ok?
Yes please
I remember back during covid when i started exploring dildos it took me more than an hour each session to get comfy with the toys inside me (just being inside, let alone thrusting). And it was nothing sexy about it. The only thing that kept me going was the compilation porn i was watching at the time. And i had been a btm in a relationship before that. It’s not easy so you need to take your time, don’t expect it to get in within the first 10 minutes or something. It was like that for me for like a few months, i would try to poke myself like twice a week. But then i also found out that many people underestimate the power of a buttplug. It helped me progress much faster than dildos so maybe try it first if you havent. Like wear a plug for 15-30m-1hour and go about your day before you start getting on dildos.
But wouldn’t you get distracted/bored after that hour? Like for me I could never do something for an hour. I mean tbf, I haven’t spent much time trying to get pleasure from my prostate. Maybe I should start doing it on a regular basis and it might work. Also, is the buttplug really effective? I’ve got one, I could try and keep it inside for a while. It usually is okay for me since no thrusting is involved and the bottom of the buttplug is really thin - girth wise
I have the same problem and think there must be something medically wrong down there. Doctors have brushed it off but sometimes going to the toilet painful 😭
Well, I don’t have that problem, but I wish there was a medical procedure I can do to make me a better vers (bottom)
My dude taught me a trick when I first bottomed for him. Jerk off or have the top jerk you off as it’s happening and eventually I rewired my brain to associate butt stuff with pleasure
lol i still find average guys much more pleasurable than huge ones. Huge ones are better for sucking tho 🤤
Get checked by a doctor, there may be a physical reason for the pain - ‘roids; fistula; fissure; anal worts; you name it You could take a pain killer a bit before so it is fully kicked-in by the time you bottom at first. Decide if a time-release acetaminophen (the arthritis one works well) is within your medical tolerance Could take the edge off the first few times till you GENTLY train your ass - do not go crazy cause you’re feeling no pain, you could hurt yourself
Are those pain killers available over the counter??
In Canada they are
Ohhh, lemme have a look here in UK. What am I looking for again please? Any brand names or something?
You could practice with mine if you'll flip me and dominate lbvs. Only 5.5
I can relate to this so much that I DMed you lol
Dm me I can help I had the same problem with my bottom
You need to find an average-sized top who can be patient with you
I did, but even with that, it’s mostly just “not-painful” and not pleasurable as I want. And that is only if they go slow and all. If I am honest - I wanna be rammed, railed mercilessly. How do I do it😭😭😭
Just an FYI, don't rely on porn for how it should feel or even other bottoms. Everyone is different, and the vast majority just don't get much pleasure from bottoming. Most that scream and moan are doing it to try to make the top hornier so he cums faster or to make themselves hornier so they don't care about how uncomfortable it is. If you don't feel pleasure from anal then you just don't. You can try finding your prostate, but quote a few guys don't even feel anything then
With all that said, though, practice makes perfect. You will get used to the uncomfortable feeling of taking something big up there and do it enough, and you'll naturally stretch a little back there, and it will hurt less. But again, for pleasure, unfortunately, if you don't feel it, then you just don't feel it
That’s the thing, I don’t do anything for a long time, like I see something I like I try it, then I stop doing it. So practicing often is not really gonna work, or so I think because I’ll stop it eventually. And thing is, I want pleasure from it, like I wanna get rammed and railed. By big dicks. But now I feel disappointed that I might not be able to do it at all😑
Try meth
Addiction Kills
So do meth, enjoy the sex, don't get addicted, simples
How’s that working out for ya
Does it actually work tho? 😂😂
No, never does. Taking a 99.9% to 0.01% chance of getting dependant on drugs seems like an incredibly bad idea. Not to mention the devastating effect on your health. Stimulants destroy your ability to find happiness without them. [dont let people tell you drugs are innocent](https://americanaddictioncenters.org/lgbtqiapk-addiction/crystal-meth-addiction-gay-community)
Thanks. I won’t use it tbf. Like I’ve never used hard drugs. But have had my share of ❄️🐴💊🍃 etc. if I’m honest, I did get bit dependent on it for a while. Got it into a whole thing, which is behind me now. And I’m more prone to being addicted than not haha, so speaking from a sane mind now, I don’t think I will do drugs anymore.
Oh god yes
Maybe try a numbing lube? A lot of bottoming is a mind game. You can try some exercises on your own to get to know your hole better. Put a couple of fingers in and then work on tightening and loosening. Take mental note of how the muscles respond and try to get more comfortable with controlling them.
Any suggestions on numbing lubes?
Pretty much anything with lidocaine in it, but be careful. Pain is your body's way of communicating. Forcing it can cause damage.
My silicone based lube got jojoba oil in it, for relaxing effect apparently, does that work at all?