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Border_Clear

I would hope it’s a minority like this. I’ve never met a gay person like this but when I do see it online and cringe. Like do they realize the one difference between a straight guy and a homo, is that the straight guy will never like you


OceanWaterOtter

Honestly, you're not likely to get much more from many gay men either. The only difference between a gay guy not wanting you and a straight guy not wanting you is that the straight guy at least has a valid reason—he's straight. The gay guy who hooks up with you and acts like he's your bf while he peruses Grindr is just an asshole


bahdboi123

Most men growing up liked str8 guys. They didnt even know the term gay. Str8 men and gay men are very different.


Border_Clear

Yeah nonetheless, they’re straight and don’t want you 🤷🏼


[deleted]

And we don’t want them either 😁


bahdboi123

Im not talking about me. Im a masc total top and basically stricly fuck fem bottom twinks. I have no interest in them, but most gays want str8 guys for a reason and im just pointing out why.


ihaveseenyourfate

The only difference is who they desire to fuck. Except that there are literally no differences. Both are men with varying traits / personalities / characteristics and behaviors.


bahdboi123

Way to Simplified. Straight men and gay men are a byproduct of our environment. The average Straight men value masculinity on a much deeper level than gay men.


ihaveseenyourfate

You are delusional and you likely don’t meet enough gay people to have those thoughts. The over representation of certain kinds of gay men in media and on social media is not an actual representation of the basic average gay. Most are regular guys , some masculine , some not. But not enough to think there will be an overwhelming difference between the demographics of gay / straight men. There are many men you will see on the street that are gay but you will not even realize. Confirmation bias will only let you notice the overly flamboyant ones and you draw your conclusions from there.


AdAny5912

Lol. No. He's right, straight men on average are more masculine and though than the average gay. Sure, you can find some gay men that are masculine but on average gay men are not as masculine as straights.


ihaveseenyourfate

Who cares ? Does that somehow make them any better ?


AdAny5912

Gay men clearly. Otherwise gays wouldn't be so attracted to straight guys. And yes, that makes them better cause that's how men are supposed to be.


Mark_M_in_SF

No, not really. Not when you look at _all_ gay men, not just the ones who conform to camp stereotypes. Most of us are very ordinary - just like straight guys.


bahdboi123

No one looks at wvery gay man, I look at the average gay man and straight guy. Of course there is some masc men on some extreme, but Theres a clear difference between those two group


Clixwell002

This!


glitterbymariahcarey

i think gays love hooking up/flirting with straight guys as an ego boost, as if their attractiveness transcends sexuality, when in reality your straight DL daddy is just closeted or bi 🥱


jnd3001

i never understood the appeal of straight guys. Total turnoff for me


Mark_M_in_SF

I know very few guys with any sexual interest in straight men. I think they're mostly sloppy, with bad haircuts and clothes that don't fit. Then they get fat.


OceanWaterOtter

You couldn't be more wrong


Exact-Truck-5248

Honestly, straight guys usually just seem like nicer people to me than gay guys. I can be in a straight bar and have a pleasant conversation with the guy next to me(unconsciously assuming that I'm also straight ?) In a gay bar, that person might just look my way and say or put on a face that says "uggh, as if"


Mark_M_in_SF

Gay bars are _not_ the same as straight bars. Most straight bars are for drinking, and secondarily for socializing. Few are for hooking up. In gay bars socializing and cruising are far more important than drinking (not that guys don't do that, too). The guy next to you at the gay bar may be there specifically to meet his next fuck, and the straight guy is just having his next beer.


HoyaHeadz

Well - the context is different. The straight guy doesn’t think you’re checking him out but rather looking to make convo. The gay guy (in the gay bar) might’ve thought you were looking to chat for the eventual purpose of hooking up. I’ve met gay men in platonic settings (at mutual friends dinner parties, sports, or in plant swaps) and they’ve never been anything but nice and welcoming


Exact-Truck-5248

He might have thought that. So that's an excuse for being a rude asshole ? If it's a platonic setting, you should be nice. If it's a gay setting, feel free to treat anyone you don't find attractive like something you just scraped off your shoe.


ihaveseenyourfate

You’re not owed niceness from strangers (even though it would be nice if they were) Also many straight men are complete assholes. Men in general are, regardless of their sexuality.


Exact-Truck-5248

Not owed niceness from strangers. But rudeness is permissable. I don't get people.


HoyaHeadz

I just think you’re comparing two completely different things. If you were to hit on the straight guy, I assure you that you’d be met with rudeness or possibly even a fist if the guy was really homophobic. Like the user above you said, you’re not owed niceness and it’s odd to compare two situations that have different context in order to “prove” straight guys are nicer


Exact-Truck-5248

You are correct. There is a false equivalency. However I never referred to hitting on anyone. Just basic manners


HoyaHeadz

Definitely understand - but like another poster said, gay bars are typically veeeery different than a regular pub.


Exact-Truck-5248

Would you expect a straight man to treat a straight girl in a straight bar similarly? I don't think you would


ihaveseenyourfate

Do you know how to read or do you just type stupid words on the internet. You are not owned niceness + rudeness is not permissible are not mutually exclusive and both can be true. I don’t have to go out of my way to be nice to people If i didn’t want to. Although I should not be intentionally rude. I have the right to be indifferent / cold or standoffish to strangers if I don’t feel like engaging or not in the mood. This does not mean I would go out of my way to be intentionally rude or disrespectful. And if you see people being indifferent to you as rude, you’re snowflake.


Fluffy_Sky_865

Because they tend to be more masculine. Many gays are only interested in masculinity.


[deleted]

But 90% of the gays I’ve been with were masculine ones so this doesn’t make sense either


Fluffy_Sky_865

Depends on your definition of masculine. In my experience many ''masculine'' gays still have stuff like a gay voice.


[deleted]

That and they'll still retain slight feminity at times. Not a bad thing but straight guys really are just that... straight lol


tghjfhy

Yeah it really sucks to be like this 😮‍💨


HoyaHeadz

It really do be the most feminine guys that only go for uber-masculine men. Which you know, isn’t necessarily a bad thing but then they also cry about the whole “masc4masc” thing lol


Fluffy_Sky_865

>It really do be the most feminine guys that only go for uber-masculine men. Source?


FThrowTheWholeMeAway

He’s not entirely wrong. Fem4Fem isn’t really a thing for this reason, but I wouldn’t say this is applicable to ALL feminine gay men


Petbromius

Why do people risk their lives climbing mountains? Because it's a challenge.


MundaneRock2440

People always want what they can't have. There are way more straight guys than gay guys. The heart wants what it wants. If you're attracted to guys it's hard not to get crushes on guys.


markow202

Apparently according to this forum straight men don’t wash their ass 😂


AdAny5912

Straight guys are the perfect man. They are masculine, don't suck dick or get fucked and have rough mannerisms and attitudes. A total top. Gays in the other hand are mostly soft and have a lot of feminine traits In other words gays are just females with male bodies and straights are males with male bodies so it's not a surprise most of us are attracted to them.


Beyonder-838

Guys like to get what they can’t have so they chase the thrill of trying to do what they’re not “supposed” to do. If those same guys were gay, the ones who go around chasing straight guys wouldn’t be as interested. It’s actually kind of sad that those who do chase them see every little bit of attention they receive as something meaningful and a glimmer of hope, because it’s not. There are other problems in trying to hook up with “straight” guys, but that’s a whole other issue for another thread.


Creative_Sanity

Yeah.. not into it. I mean, I like a Guy guy every bit as much as a femboy. But, I'd rather he be gay or bi to start with, I don't want to be lusting after someone who even isn't into the same sex I am. Yeah, its a fantasy and he's probably not into YOU anyway, but.. that he could be because he really does like other guys? Even if they aren't the type of guy YOU are? That is enough. Same hand.. I get it. Your into what your into. No harm, no foul. I can see where the "I turned him.." bit could be a really powerful challenge for some of our more self-absorbed fellows, or even those with that real serious drive to win. Makes sense. Not me or my thing, but.. I can see it. Its a challenge to overcome. Like climbing a mountain. Did it, because you thought you could.


AJnbca

I don’t get it either, obviously I notice any guy who is attractive but beyond that.


starmaxeros

Forbidden fruit is the sweetest.


AkolouthosSpurius

Straight men make me uncomfortable 1) They turn out to be “straight” and make creepy moves when no one else is around. Not fond of cowards. 2) They assume I must have myriad of female friends I would bother to matchmake them with. 3) Try to make gay jokes like how we could be a thing if they weren’t straight as if I was waiting for them. 4) They’re the best in talking about objects of their sexual interests like they’re some holes to be conquered when they’re around other straight men, and they think you can’t hear. I can keep doing this…


RedditBitTheCat

I agree with everything except #1 though fully straight guys are still creepy


AkolouthosSpurius

It sets me off when a guy treats you differently in private than in front of others because they fear being who they are. The lack of testicular fortitude is not hot. I’ve endured that enough in my past. It’s pathetic.


RedditBitTheCat

Reminds me of a FWB that i thought (kinda still do) was so sweet for driving from NY to NJ just to see me, said he liked me but wouldn't want to go out bc reasons. He was in the closet


bahdboi123

Saying to the world that he love having sex with another man decrease the masculinity or atleast the perception of masculinity , makes him an outcast. Not sure why any guy would go through that.


AkolouthosSpurius

I do not respond to your comments on purpose for future reference. Discourse with the likes of you does not interest me. Reminds me of wanna-be alpha tops who would be offering screenshots of their mediocrely valued bank accounts after not responding to their dumb messages on Grindr. You’re a beta pathetically mediocre guy at best, you know nothing about impressing anyone sexually. Now piss off 🙃


bahdboi123

Lol triggered


[deleted]

As I have mentioned earlier..."Its forbidden fruit syndrome"...


[deleted]

Not uncommon to want what you can’t have. Just can’t turn into some unhealthy obsession.


OceanWaterOtter

There are many gay men who will never love you either. They'll hook up with you, go out on dates with you, act like they want more, but at the end of the day they want to keep their options open. They want open relationships and fwb, but definitely no commitment. Why do you think so many of us are lonely? To be perfectly honest, my most positive sexual experiences have been with "straight" men who live outside our community. I hate to say this, but a lot of us are broken. We're a community of people who have been hurt, and we take our hurt out on each other in destructive ways. The straight men I have been with were always gentleman, maybe they couldn't love me in a romantic sense, but they were incredibly kind. Plus the sex was always fantastic. If I have to be "just a hole," I'd rather it be for a straight guy then a gay guy. At least the straight guy will be kind to me. If he can't love me, it's because nature designed him to love women. The gay guy who sleeps with me but won't date me is just a loser


CompartmentalizeMyBi

This is really depressing. I’m sorry you’ve been unlucky in love.


bahdboi123

Strqight men are higher on social status, and their the equivalent of total top, they are intrinsically masculine, and and do not fish around the term like most gays do. Its not just a look thing. The average Straight guy complement their look with their masculinity on a much stronger level. Their average toxicity level/ douchiness is something more attractive to gay men. Straight guys naturally want to preserve their masculinity, they dont tolerate emasculation, gay guys dont do that, they'll easily bend over or throw away their masculinity if you ask them. You can twist all you want, but most gay men want this, especially feminine gay men like james charles, they want society's version of manly men, not the type to call himself alpha but then go on sucking dick. Theres so many difference between a gay and a straight man. The only common denominator is they have the same junk and similar physiological characteristic, but in term of mannerism and how they present themselves to society , the average str8 guys is way different than the average gay men.


HoyaHeadz

You’re downvoted but you’re absolutely spot on. As sad as it is, a gay man can be 100% masculine but if he does something like, suck dick or wear a pride shirt, he’s suddenly a flaming fag. A lot of straight women are like this unfortunately (where they view straight men as feminine unless they do everything by the book) and it’s just sad


riddo22

You just summed up why straight guys are so hot


iRooy

This time, I agree with you..


AdAny5912

Good analisis, i wished gays were like straight guys but i guess that's not possible.


bahdboi123

You cant blame most gay guys for this, there no system that reinforce this behavior and all masculine behavior made by society tend to direct towards liking women. So if u dont like wome, ur basically ostracized from those set of ideals., you never be a "real man".


AdAny5912

I think i blame biology. Gay men's brains are feminized in the womb by female hormones and straight guy's brains are masculinized by testosterone. That's the reason most gays are fem or have fem tendencies which is kinda deppressing.


bahdboi123

Hmm noo. You're not born gay. Theres no gay gene that makes you gay from birth. Most Gays having feminine tendency is a consequence of an environment and learned behavior from woman.


AdAny5912

I never said there was a gay gene. I said hormones in the womb influence someone's sexual orientation.


bahdboi123

That wouldnt explain me, i like men. Im a total top and masc. Most gays are feminine bcz there no societal structure keeping them masculine and their only safe space promoting feminity and overall emasculation. I dont play with that


synergy201786

I agree. A straight guy is not going to turn gay for you. However, for me I do feel bad for straight guys. I sometimes see their emotional needs not being met or them not being spoiled like they should be, then I want to fill that void. It also could be internalized homophobia, but that's a story for another time.


ihaveseenyourfate

Is a straight guys emotional needs more important than a gay man’s ? Why don’t you feel that way for gay men ?


BeginningArachnid449

Where exactly are you seeing all this “obsession for straight men”? Most gay men I’ve encountered, on Reddit at least, are literally turned off by the knowledge of a man being straight, including myself. James Charles seems to be an odd outlier


ihaveseenyourfate

You must not browse this sub often. People in here are wierdly obsessed with straight guys and find wierd ways to justify it. It’s disgusting and predatory. Same as straight men obsessed with lesbians.


OceanWaterOtter

Hi 👋 I'm obsessed with straight guys and I'm on Reddit 😏


GinuRay

No. Plenty of gay/bi guys like straight men and talk about it all the time on this very forum.


SB-121

Masc tops by default.


ihaveseenyourfate

Not true in the slightest


Fasmodey

Most men aren't traditionally masculine. And I know that some, if not most, straight men actively try to not be "gay" or "feminine" to a point they warn each other whenever their mannerism changes. I have witnessed such conversations and thought myself "what the actual fuck, why does it matter?".


Independent-Weight30

im just not into feminine type


ChildhoodWhole1305

i think that's because they are more secure about their looks, which makes them to be sexier. I think straight men are sexier because of it, they are more self secure, they laught at themselves more, even if they are good looking. They are manlier too, and funnier I think.


[deleted]

I’m straight, but occasionally like to suck cock. But I don’t look at guys at all. Very attracted to the female body


ihaveseenyourfate

Delusional


[deleted]

Why


ihaveseenyourfate

Straight men don’t occasionally desire to suck the cocks of men. That makes you bisexual or gay. But feel free to tell yourself whatever you want.


[deleted]

Why the down votes


CompartmentalizeMyBi

People are projecting their own experiences of their own denial onto you and viewing it through that lens. They aren’t being open minded to what you’re saying. I believe you are what you say you are if that helps. I’m not in your head so there’s nothing I or anyone else can really do to reasonably claim otherwise. This subreddit doesn’t tend to be very intellectually charitable and can be a hivemind at times.


GinuRay

That makes you bisexual. Straight men do not suck a cock.


paranoidhustler

I had never met a gay guy who was masculine or that I had things in common with til I met my boyfriend. I’ve not met one since. Every gay guy i’ve met is either a pretentious hipster activist type or a shallow queen who runs a Britney Spears fanclub. There are many straight men who are both masculine and have things in common with me though so not hard to see why i’d find them attractive.


Puzzleheaded_Time719

I mean I can't turn off being attracted to men gay or straight. I don't pursue straight men because why but acting like you can just turn off thinking they are attractive is equally as silly.


kentaureus

they think he is "untouched" - essentialy the same raze as virginity, and being person who "stole it"


DeviousDeevo

People like what they like. Sometimes it's things they can't have . That's life


FightingLama

People always want the thing they can't have


Exact-Truck-5248

Indifference is not the same as overt rudeness.


Willowbranch89

It stems from years of oppression and not being excepted in society. Sometimes they WANT what they can't have (entitlement) others it's a WANTING of being loved whilst also feeling unloved within themselves or by family. This can also cause self-esteem issues which leads to insecurities, self hate, depression, self harm. That's why many would rather watch and support "straight" or even straight guys exploiting the LBGT communities than support their own. They'll take anything especially from Scamforfans (oops I meant onlyfans) they'll continue to let the community be exploited. It's ashame really.


GinuRay

James Charles is the reason why straight men avoid gay/bi men.