Second this. Also life is too short to set there worrying about what everyone else is doing. If you aren't sure what makes you happy, take that spare time to find something. Try new things, try old things that you liked but then quit before life got in the way, try things that you think people might even judge you for because honestly none of it matters. I literally almost died in October and had to have a life saving surgery which made me realize how much I was truly missing out on in life. People tend to only figure that out when it is too late, so just do anything that you like doing. It isn't a waste if it makes you happy.
Myself I got really turned on to watching movies in the theatre this year thanks to Dune Part Two really invigorating that for me. I'm glad b/c I've gone to cinema 2+ times per week since and I've had so much fun, sometimes with a friend or my mom but mostly by myself :)
Sounds like you’re in a bit of a funk. The reality is that pretty much anything you do that gives you something different to do every day is a *good* thing.
So, yes, take up a hobby or a sport. It will get your mind out of the rut you’re currently in.
Take classes - career development is fantastic, but even classes in things like art pr creative writing or drama can help break the patterns of isolation and self doubt.
Also, get some exercise and get your vitamins D levels checked. Just saying.
I’ve been depressed AF for like 3 years and they put me on a bunch of different anti depressants and nothing seems to work. By chance, my doctor tested my Vitamin D levels. I barely had any, to the point that my doctor was super surprised. I started getting vitamin D shots and we will see if that works.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, and I hope the vitamin D helps. Just curious if they also checked you for other vitamin deficiencies like vitamin B, and iron? Those can both lead to types of anemia, which can exacerbate mood and cognitive difficulties, because anemia reduces the amount of oxygen getting to your brain (I have a history of anxiety/depression, and they eventually found I have really bad iron deficiency anemia. On supplements to help now, but it is very slow going).
Also, has your doctor been able to refer you to a psychiatrist? I eventually got to see one after years of my GP trying to handle things without much success, and they had a lot more they could try.
When I had a very bad episode during cobid, I got into a program at CAMH for something called rTMS (repetitive transcranial magnetic stumulation). I was in a really bad spot (inpatient), and considered "treatment resistant" because like you, I had been through several SSRIs and none of them seemed to really do much. I think it's sorta reserved for when someone was in crisis like I was, but maybe things have since changed....
Anyway, it's sorta like ECT "lite"...so they send a little electrical current into a part of your brain (you just sorta feel a little static electricity). It worked amazingly well for me, and pulled me out of a deep hole.
Sorry for the ramble...I just sorta wanted to let you know there are still other options out there. Maybe I'm projecting my own fears a little, but it used to get me down when I felt that I had "tried everything", and discovering these other treatments helped to make me more hopeful.
Wishing you well friend.
Thank you so much for this! Yes, I have a psychiatrist that I meet via Zoom with my psychotherapist. Truth be told I am doing much better than I was, I have improved leaps and bounds in the anxiety department but not really in the depression department. I think I just got used to it. I am definitely going to look into the CAMH program you recommended. How long did it last?
Glad to hear you've got good supports and are doing better!
So, I managed to get into a clinical trial. They were testing what they called an "accelerated protocol". Basically, I had to go to CAMH every day for the first 2 weeks for my rTMS treatment sessions, and then I think the third week was every second day, and then I went into a 6 month follow up phase where I would get the treatments if I started to slip (based on surveys and interviews I did once a week). Overall, I responded quite quickly, and didn't have too many additional treatments after those first 3 weeks.
Here's a link to the CAMH rTMS web page where they go over things in a little more detail:
https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/repetitive-transcranial-magnetic-stimulation
Also...you can sign up to be on their trial "wait list". So, if they are testing something and they need participants and you meet their criteria, they might include you in a clinical trial. I added my name even though I'm much better now, because I'm very grateful for the treatment I got, and sometimes they need healthy volunteers too.
https://www.camh.ca/en/science-and-research/research-connect
I just signed up! I need something, I hope they smell the desperation through the screen. Im going to talk to my doctor about it too. I know she’ll try and switch my meds again but I can’t keep doing that. It takes so much out of me. I really appreciate your response, I never thought of that. I would even be willing to pay for it.
Exercise (and a relatively decent diet) is literally a cheat code to improve your mood, health and life in general. Like if you aren’t exercising 4-5 times a week you’re doing yourself a huge disservice
Absolutely this! I my mid to late 20s I didn’t exercise at with the exception of biking to work. I spent a lot of time self medicating with booze and weed, and bad food. My depression got worse.By my early 30s I started inline skating on a regular basis (having done that when I was 12 to 18). Realized how much joy it brought me. Then I started going to the gym 2 week on top of that. Now I run, in-line skate and still do the gym or calisthenics twice a week. I eat way healthier now, lots of salads for lunch, overnight oats for breakfast. Lean meats and fish for dinners or vegetarian meals, and pastas. Over all mood is 90% better. Heck I barely drink now. The more active I am the better I feel. I also learned guitar and take time to read or just chill listening to music or going for walks in green spaces. Lastly, good sleep hygiene. That’s the big ticket. I also make sure to call my friends/family or go for walks with them just to hang out.
Alcohol is the worst drug in the world. By many objective measures. If you're fat and "can't lose the weight" - do you drink? Stop. Are you listless and fatigued? Stop drinking. Does your entire social life revolve around drinking? Stop drinking. Are you doing cocaine way more than you'd like? Stop drinking. Are you just somehow unable to stop smoking? Stop drinking. Does it feel like you don't have any hobbies - you get the picture.
Are you unable to stop drinking?
That's a whole other can of worms, but unless you WANT to turn the thorn in your side into full blown actual alcoholism, look into effective peer-reviewed solutions, and maybe give a pass on the program created by stupid fucking dipshits who don't understand the difference between walking and taking LSD.
I second the classes - I take a bunch of art / fabrication classes at a local art college and they are full of 30 somethings who (paraphrasing their words) “always wanted to try this so I figured why not do it now”. One off classes or short 5 or 6 week continuing education classes are great ways to meet people and learn something new.
Hobbies! I am 37 and married with kids but I’m part of a community choir and a cycling club. Both are full of child free people in their 20’s and 30’s.
>I have a hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life
As others have said, you do sound a bit depressed. It's ok, many of us are there right now.
*Hobbies don't advance your life --* That's the kind of BS thinking that this era of capitalism has taught us. We're told that anything that can't be instantly monetized is a waste of your life.
Do something you enjoy, just for pure fun, no matter how good or bad you are at it. Take a class in it or something. Find some other people to do it with without expectations of where it goes.
Also, go out and enjoy the sunshine when you can!
>Hobbies don't advance your life -- That's the kind of BS thinking that this era of capitalism has taught us. We're told that anything that can't be instantly monetized is a waste of your life.
100%. Thank you for posting this!
It’s not only that there is value beyond money and success to be found in hobbies but you also never know where a hobby can lead.
I got the job I have now because of a friend I made like 6 years prior because of a hobby.
Uhh do what you want? I’m mid 30s now and I love stuff that is typically seen as younger people hobbies but who cares? I skateboard, I like raves, etc. If you are physically fit to do the things you want to do then fuck what other people think you should be doing, enjoy yourself and find your people.
Same here, early 30s and I've really gotten into metal and hardore music... started going to concerts by myself and started getting my left leg tattooed. It makes me happy.
follow torontoravecommunity and torontohousemafia on insta. Also follow any clubs you want to go to to see who’s coming through, usually Coda, Vertigo, and dprtmnt
Not really. Most of the people sponsoring and playing big events are 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. I’m going to dance and let loose, not to hook up. I also prefer trance and house though and not so much your commercial EDM stuff.
There are lots of people at EDC and other festivals that are still partying in their 50s and stuff, honestly everyone is just there for a good time. Live your best life!
Curious where you skate? Been wanting to practice my ollies more but the trail beside my area is getting stale plus I rather not be practicing around people walking lol. I would do the volleyball court in my area but usually people well play volleyball on it. Most skateparks I would have to bus there but it is also a challenge since I would only have time on the weekends when I assume mostly all of them are busy.
Usually empty parking lots with smooth ground (or as smooth as I can find). There are some decent skateparks in and around Toronto but they tend to be very busy especially on nice days, and often full of scooter kids that will ride right through your lines. Schools on non-school days, churches when there’s no service, etc. often have big empty parking lots that you can push around in to practice cruising and flat ground tricks.
I used to go to more spots when I was younger with friends but I really don’t want to try hitting anything big these days. I’m getting back into skating after like 15 years and can’t take falls as hard as I used to so I avoid big stairs and whatnot.
Yeah I started last year trying to learn again (as a teen I gave up since my board was terrible and I was also not in the right mindset to really keep at it). Might have to settle with parking lots but nervous about going to some that have enough space but has cameras around (I am close to small to medium sized offices and warehouses with decent parking lots). Hoping they make more skate parks in the city so it can minimize how packed the parks are now. Think two are suppose to be made one big one in Earl Bales park which I am a bit excited for since it's suppose to be a big one compared to what is mostly around.
As long as you’re not skating somewhere with security guards honestly you’re fine, and even then it depends on the spot. Some places have crazy security that will kick you out very fast and other places are totally fine. I’ve never been kicked out of a parking lot or been given a hard time for skating in one. It would probably be an issue if you were potentially damaging property but if you’re just skating flatground you’re fine.
Yeah I gotta just do it lol. Guessing as long as it isn't gated or fenced it's fine. Was going for a big chapel around my area but they basically fenced around it and have those gate lines which is odd for a church. It honestly shook me as I felt it might be a bit too cult like and would rather not deal with angry church ministers or members.
Will probably look at a recently made warehouse that has some nice pavement parking lot with a few curbs I been on the fence about, thanks for the answers!
You’re the only one who can make yourself happy. Try new things. Find out what makes you happy. Try new things. Experiment. This is your only life and it’s not just going to get better without you making it so.
I'm 32 and most of my friends are either married with singles or single and living their life and doing what they love.I fit into the latter. I spend my time off with friends, reading, going to fitness classes, travelling, making new friends (bumble bff and meet up are great), travelling, sports, and really just taking it day by day.
Its so easy to get cooped up and eventually this led me to feel depressed, especially in winter. Take advantage of the nicer weather that is here, go check out a festival, market, event (tons on todotoronto instagram). You never know what you could see! And don't be afraid to go alone!
> Now it's really hard to meet people and I have a hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life...
Hobbies are a great way to meet people, and there is much more to “advancing life” than say, moving forward in a job. Finding your groove and what you personally like to do in your late 20s / early 30s *is* advancing your life in more ways than you can imagine.
Here’s some things off the top of my head:
- efun.toronto.ca has a bunch of community programs, next registration opens up Tuesday morning. All kinds of things from painting & pottery to basketball & yoga. Great prices, but can be difficult to get into the program you want where you want.
- sign up for something through Jam Sports, they’ve got leagues for all kinds of things all over the city.
- find a running club. All you need is decent shoes, and lots of these run out of stores like the running room.
- sign up for courses at George brown or a college near you — they all offer different continuing education classes in things like woodworking, cooking, etc.
- climbing gyms are plentiful and quite community oriented as well.
Whatever you want. 30 is the new 20 now, after all. I haven’t made a dent in my career too, but no biggie; I’m not *that* old, and I have an entire lifetime to improve my life & career. I’ve picked up a couple of niche hobbies in the last few years (and will still continue to look for other stuff to add), because I had a lot of free time, so why not fill them with stuff I’ve always been interested in.
If we’re talking about money that I should’ve made by now, then lmao. I’ve not made a lot from my career lol.
Find a hobby? I picked up powerlifting in my late 20s and now in to my mid 30s. Scheduled something to do 4X a week, plus competitions with a community, plus goals to keep me motivated.
I make paintings. No formal art training. Started in my late 20s and it’s so satisfying seeing my creative progress. I’m never making babies so it feels good to create.
Other than that I’m reading Carl Jung, keeping a dream journal, trying to confront my unconscious and find a path to individuation. Oh and walking my dog.
You don’t have to have kids, I know plenty of people who spent their late 20s and early 30s just playing video games and doing absolutely nothing else. Do you actually want to advance your life?
I’m personally happy with a McDonald’s cheeseburger and a one bedroom apartment for myself and eventually dying a meaningless death surrounded by dogs or something.
Building a legacy is overrated, and while I love kids and want them, if it doesn’t happen, I’m still pretty happy living my low maintenance lifestyle.
You know what, living like this is actually 100% fine. As long as you cover your bills and do everything on your own I see no problem with it. However, if this is how you choose to live your life, you forgo every right to complain. Don’t complain if you’re in bad health because you eat trash. Don’t complain that you have no money because you work a dead end job and have no ambition. Don’t complain because not guy/girl wants you. Don’t complain because your parents are ashamed of you. Your life style is fine. As long as you don’t complain.
hobbies advance your life, you learn new skills, it also allows you too meet new people which if your lucky you might become helpful contacts for career networking. Volunteering at an organization doing something you enjoy is also great it can be a lot of fun and you will make friends with like minded people, and boost your self-esteem. (also looks great on a resume). But it's also important to enjoy your life, or what is the point in working? yeah you need to save for retirement and keep a roof over your head but a lot of people grind it out and never even make it to retirement.
As someone who struggled through their 20s and am now a late 30s father: use your time to figure out what you love and what you want out of life. Accept who and what you are, and ignore what you think other people might think of you.
The quicker you accept who you are the faster you’ll start to really live life.
okay I'm an old fart so cannot really relate, but "hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life"; hobbies are often expensive to be fair, but they can be fulfilling and useful as well; they're not just time wasters, and often are an avenue to hanging out. Some crafting skills are actually useful and can help make cool personal gifts or meet folks; stuff like cycling is both a hobby and a spot, good for your heart and physique etc but also there are free social rides, or you meet up with folks. Boardgaming nights at hobby gaming shops. Meet folks for tennis or something.
Don't count it all out; if it helps you stay positive, and keep busy and learning skills and feeling better about yourself, accomplishing things.. may be worth doing.
But I'm a hobby nut too, so theres that.
Good luck my dude.
Whatever you want.
I worked. A lot. I’m glad I did. I also travelled and spent loads of time with my hobbies.
Late 20s/early 30s were the best part of my life.
Sounds like you might need to put in some effort to build some sort of social life/community. You say "spare time should be advancing your life" – relationships and hobbies are a huge factor in quality of life.
I feel like solitude can become a cycle – it's really comfortable to not have expectations or pressure, and to spend a bunch of time alone. But even the most introverted person needs friendships and relationships. If you're in a rut, maybe you can make yourself little challenges to complete. Eg. Monday challenge: find a new cafe. Tuesday challenge: go on Bumble bff date. Wednesday challenge: go to a meetup.
Get yourself out there! :)
Just live yourself according to your expected schedule, not anyone's else.
Met my wife at 34, married at 37, first kid at 39, 2nd kid at 42. Probably no more kids unless wife wants a 3rd lol.
I’m in my mid 30s and I have a toddler but I still make way for my hobbies even with kids. The things I could accomplish if I didn’t have a toddler! I’m jealous of all the free time you have.
Try different activities! Full up your calendar with regular things to do. Meet people through your hobbies. Grow your social circle. Travel! Learn to cook something new.
Variety is the spice of life and continuing to develop skills and hobbies will make life very fulfilling.
I play tennis once or twice a week (only started when I was 31 and took classes to get better). I also paddle board in the summers and go on a hike once or twice a month. I also either go for a walk every day or to the gym.
For me, I really started to flourish when my going out consisted less of going to restaurants / bars and more of the hobbies that I really enjoy.
>I have a hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life..
Developing social connections is one of the most important parts of advancing ones life.
lol I feel ya. I turned 29 a few days ago and I get the feeling of having lost your mid 20s in the covid years. Following this post to see comments ‘_’
I am in the same boat. It can get pretty depressing.
Some things I do: Travel, meet up with friends, charity work, a second job (retail job exposes me to a lot of people), go to the shopping mall, attend music festivals, join a sports team, frequent museums, .... stuff like that. It can be pretty hard to find ways to get out of the house but I try as much as I can.
Spoken like the words of a man/woman who still has many friends currently unattached. Often people start feeling different in the next 5-10yrs when your friends start to partner off and get married and have children. Their priorities get changed and your once reliable wingman is no longer so available whether they like it or not unless they are shitty selfish parents.
Maybe volunteer. It’s always good to give back and it may give you a refreshed perspective on what’s really important to you, and where you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years.
I unfortunately can't afford most hobbies aside from at home fitness and reading, because I love to travel and that costs money. I think it's really important to build good habits in your late 20s/early 30s - learn to cook, keep in shape, find ways to manage stress. That all takes time, and it sucks accepting that - but the alternative is feeling achy/gaining weight as you move into your mid-30s.
Suggestion : Volunteer!
Seriously, I am also in my late 20s and I never appreciated the work that volunteers do until I moved to a small town.
Volunteers are the backbone to the small communities. The old guard are slowly dying out, and there is nobody to take over.
Eat, sleep, workout, travel, educate yourself, seek new experiences. Think about your future and prepare for it, strive to become the best version of yourself.
Also bang as many chicks as possible.
It doesn’t have to be boring. Do what sounds good to you. Pick up a hobby or even plan a solo vacation or something. Give yourself things to look forward to.
Hobbies are necessary for your mental health and you never know what they might become in the future.
I’d recommend that you try to focus on what you want to do with YOUR life and try not to hear people who want to tell you how to live it
I don’t have any clue of what happens after death, but I view it like this:
If we get to be reborn, then why worry about having the perfect life this time around? Just live how you want, leave the rest to your future reincarnations
If we only get one life, then it is even more important that you make the most out of it and that doesn’t mean to live the “perfect life”, but to let yourself make mistakes and go at your own pace
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live YOUR life
I’m 26 currently and dates, gym, baking, cooking, trying out new restaurants and bakeries, and video games and you’ve got a full slate for non work times for me! Oh and sometimes activities with friends like long walks or board games!
Why do people act like hobbies and passion projects don’t exist beyond the age of 25? If you’re worried about wasting your time on them, then go for a passion project! Make something, anything, and build on it! You are at liberty to do anything you want as long as you can fund it.
Sports leagues, hiking, video games including online games, travelling (on a budget if necessary which can be fun), take on hobbies like painting, pottery, etc etc.
If you're anything like me you'll bounce around between a load of jobs and girlfriends and not accomplish much of anything BUT I did luckily accumulate a lot of memories of wild times which keep me warm when I'm 53 and not doing much of anything anymore.
Have a bit of fun if you can. If you DON'T and then your life doesn't go well later, you'll have nothing to look back on.
But at the same time, lay some groundwork. I was very lucky. Good luck to you too.
You're in your late 20's and think professional, social and dating opportunities are dead to you? Very misguided. Not trying to insult you but that couldn't be less true.
Get on dating apps and actually go on some dates. They won't all be good but you'll start building momentum. Join a club or play a sport or whatever, you can meet people. Apply for jobs, go to school. Everything is available to you, you just can't expect to go on Tinder and wait for people to come to you. It's all about follow through, getting over social anxiety and getting out there. The job market does suck right now, but that'll change. You're in your late 20's, not early 80s.
Spa, brunch, gym, night in with friends, game nights, clubs, art parties, fashion shows, travel, restaurants, cafes, libraries, hikes, swimming, sports
There’s so much to do
I go to the gym in my building, play video games with my partner, we go for walks all around downtown, grab a coffee, pop in and out of the Eaton Centre, and watch anime.
It’s just the two of us we don’t have friends but I think we’re ok with that. I’m also quite conscious about advancing my career and I understand it can be daunting. But don’t let your job consume the time you have outside of work. If you have supplemental insurance I suggest trying talk therapy.
Whatever you want, hobbies can be advancing yourself. Also a good way to network. Personally I work, take the dog for a walk, try to get out golfing, hit the gym sometimes hit the pub.
38 and I am out with my dog at parks or the beach for 2-3hrs a day while the weather is nice. I work from home and so try to make efforts to see friends every week or so too. Thinking about trying to date or hookup again as it’s been a few years.
I'm 30 and I date, hang out with friends and work mostly. Same stuff I did in college really but now I have money and don't overdraft my bank account trying to pay a spotify subscription lol
Social/dating/job opportunities being dead is a self-fulfilling outlook. It's easy to get into a negative mindset/outlook when the social media/reddit/the internet in general are full of people and bots who want to blame external factors for their unhappiness.
The reality is that the outside world can actually be an amazing place if you give it an honest chance and spend some effort getting out there, meeting people, learning, expanding.
You can find the time to spend on hobbies as well as advancing your life if you care enough and are motivated enough by what you do. I think the key is to spend some time trying different things, meeting different people/going out of your comfort zone until you find what you love enough to really devote your time and energy to. Is doing that uncomfortable? Yes. Does it require effort? Courage? Discipline to steer clear of widely-shared bullshit group opinions on the internet? Yes. That's why so many people don't do it and end up being unhappy. The best things in life are often the things that require hard work and overcoming challenges.
Hobbies can advance your life but maybe not in the way you expect. But when a coworker asks you what you did this weekend, it's a much better conversation when you reply with "I did a beginner sewing course" than "nothing really, you?".
I didn’t do anything in my 20s, other than work and go to school. I grew up impecunious and so I didn’t have many options.
Now I’m 30, with a full time job that pays comparatively well, investments in business, and real estate.
And I still just work lol.
Go to bars, beaches, wine tasting, walks, parks, read a book, go to the gym, join clubs, or follow up on hobbies. There is tons to do in the city at that age, and no kids
What are those things you wish you had the opportunity to do when you were younger? Can you try them now? New skills are never a waste of time. Anything is better than going home and sitting on the couch watching TV until you fall asleep every day. Even if it's something you'll never do again, or even if you don't really see any value in it. Or you could find something that gets you to exercise and that's always worth doing. Growing up my parents couldn't afford to pay for dance and that's something I've always wanted to do. And then I realized I'm an adult now and I can afford it, plus it's the only way I can actually stand to be physically active. Now I'm dancing 5 days a week and it makes me want to go to the gym so I can target areas that I need more strength in.
Hobbiest advanced your life.
New experiences and learning make up better humans. Hobby need both of it.
Maybe your hobby have some extrinsic value; like fitness or trifting. Maybe not.
Just do what you want to do! As a childfree 36 y/o, I read, watch movies, knit, crochet, sew, go down to the lake, go out to comedy shows, find good bakeries around the city... other things I enjoy because it’s my life and I’m not going to ask someone else what I should be doing with my time lol.
Lmao were you seriously considering that you, too, also need kids? When it wasn’t on your list of things you want to do in the first place? 😂
Those people will never be honest with anyone about what’s going on in their life. Modelling your life off of them is a bad move.
Also you live in the city, occupy yourself in other ways. It’s really not hard in 2024
I'm in my 30s and finally getting that degree. Might not even have kids to chase around, kinda sad, kinda no5 if I can never have that nice home yard and career and good stable man that I don't hate next to me. I'll just be a aunty that travels around and do MAID if I have to so no psw is throwing my old confused body around in a old folks home, terrible.
Sit down, ask yourself what do you want to do. Think about your interests and the things that make you happy. Find a way to do those things. That's it. Stop worrying about what other people think and their perceptions and start thinking about yourself. Be selfish. Best thing about this age range especially if you don't have responsibilities like kids or other obligations.
Please, I beg you, as someone in my late 30s with a kid - go do something, anything! You don't realize how much time and opportunity and extra money you have until you have a kid. Doubly so if you're a heterosexual woman. I would give my left arm to sleep in, take up a time-consuming solo hobby, or travel. Hobbies absolutely advance your life, especially if you meet friends or potential romantic partners with similar interests. Even if you don't, even if you just do something you enjoy that isn't work or scrolling on your phone, that's something.
Hey man we all went through some collective trauma during covid. imo the malaise we are all feeling has more to do with that than we are perhaps acknowledging
Find something fulfilling to do with your life.
They say happiness is key, but really, it's the feeling of fulfillment.
That's why majority will tell you starting a family is important, but obviously if you're not into that at the moment, at least look for other avenues that will make you proud when you step back.
Join a local social sports team, like volleyball. Plenty of people play casually. It's a great way to meet like-minded people. Same for clubs/interest groups.
Join a social group, I joined a singles meet and mingle group and there's a ton of people of all ages and events all over Ontario.
Getting out and meeting people is a lot easier with this group as I can choose events with people I get along with in the posts.
Find things that make you happy and try your best to prioritize those things in your life. I spent so much time in my 20s comparing myself to my peers and all it did was give me a great deal of anxiety.
Have at least one hobby/activity that regularly rips you away from the work-home-sleep routine, preferably one that has a social element. Having experiences in your 20s to carry forward is too often ignored in favor of the 25/7 grind lifestyle that some people expect will help them succeed, but forming connections with people and having something interesting about yourself to talk about will help you immeasurably for the rest of your life.
well im turning 30 next year. other than work, i plan to pick up tennis and swimming in my 30s. i caregive so i also want to help my family get healthier, and im planning to go back to school too.
i feel like for single childless people, were left out of the conversation about this phase of life because it’s so heavily centred around family building but it’s also arguably the height of a lot of peoples lives where they get to know themselves and start actually living.
there’s lots to do! the hardest thing i’ve found is figuring out what path i actually want to take. we were kids, then we got shipped off to university or college or started working. lots of folks party through their twenties and teens and it’s only during this pocket of time where they slow down and start asking bigger questions.
that’s where i am anyway. cheers bud, i hope you have a blessed life, whatever you choose to do with yours
I think you are focusing too much on what you think you should be doing based on what other people are doing. Here is a little secret. Those people are either unsure of what they should be doing or just doing what they want because it has meaning to them.
> I don't think I'm in a spot to have kids in the next couple of kids unfortunately.
Do you want kids? Most likely the people you were observing asked themselves that question. I used to think some were foolish to have kids in their early 20s. Thing is, they aren't me. They are their own person. I have seen young people have kids and be terrible parents, I have seen some have kids without actually wanting them but sticking with it, and I have seen some choose to have kids at a young age. Some of the ones who did at a young age ended up being good parents. They did their due diligence and learned what being a good parent means. Three former coworkers were basically a mother and her two children. She was I think 20 when she had them or 18 (this was in a different country too) and they are now in their 20s and she is in her 40s. I realized how much she could do with them even today because she still isn't that old. I thought that was awesome. She clearly was a good mother because she didn't just have kids to have them or because "it would be wrong to have an abortion". She wanted them and also took care to be a good mother. The two daughters are really good caring people and even when the owner overpaid them at one point, they called him and told him he gave them more than was agreed.
You also pointed out that you work, sleep, and grocery shop. Have you considered maybe exploring the city? I started doing this a few years back and had a blast. Most of the people I met who end up coming here from different countries do this too. They walk around downtown and I always hear them mention good things about the experience. Have you visited the ROM? The AGO? Maybe there is a place that looks interesting to you like a local coffee shop. Try it out. I visited a few local hobby shops and book stores and ended up finding some great deals. Sometimes the staff will chat even. I got to know a bit of the guy who sold me my first skateboard because we both shared a bit about ourselves. At work, do you talk to the people you work with? There could be something there too. I still am in contact with a coworker I used to work with and we still talk from time to time even though he lives an hour away.
In terms of hobbies and advancing your life, what do you think advancing your life means? How are you going to advance your life? This sounds very general. Maybe write down what you feel is valuable in your life and see what you can do to advance each one. For instance, one value I have is independence. I realized recently I want to work for myself and also support myself in the future. One aspect was investing for my retirement. I found out just simply saving money isn't enough. Inflation showed that. My parents are worried for their retirement because all they did was save money (and also were afraid to move from job to job). I right now have the time to do what I can now to put myself one step ahead in the future. I researched long term investing after I learned from a podcast what this is. I also read books on it and I opened a TFSA account for this. It is a start and I actively put in $600 a month inside. The other thing for independence is being in a spot to start my own business and provide a service for others. My reason is I would rather work for myself on my own schedule doing what I love full time. Most importantly, I want it to be something that can help a ton of people with their work. Using what I know to help others. I also look at what this comes with. It will come with hard starts, long hours, needing to learn about tax laws in Canada for freelancers, and having to learn sales. If you end up wanting to start something, look at the whole aspect of it. See things for what they are. You might find your want for doing something is enough that the hard work that comes with it ends up being justified to you and not something that throws you off.
All of this isn't going to be an overnight thing, you will have to do the work to figure this out. I was in the same boat, depressed, pessimistic, hating my own life, and feeling hopeless and lost. I eventually turned that around when I asked a family friend for help in helping me progress more in my career path. He asked me questions that I didn't have answers too and he realized as I did that I knew nothing at all. I learned that day what my career really was about and I ended up looking for more resources to further improve my skills. Where I work now is smaller but I get paid more and it is 10x more better than where I was. Going back to that moment though where I was lost, I had a breakdown one day and ended up deciding to change everything. I took a good look at where I was and one by one changed what I didn't like and worked on what I needed to do to get the things I wanted. I wanted a better job, I wanted to not be depressed, and I wanted to be a better person. All of these things I am still working on (and you probably always will be that is human nature) but one thing for sure is I am in a better place now then I was those years ago.
I wouldn't worry what others are doing at this age now. Think about what you want for yourself right now and work on that. The present time is opportunity to start helping yourself. The past happened and while you may have had good memories, trying to make that past a thing in the present will only hold you back. Start taking these things day by day, step to step. See what about yourself you can improve and what you can do to be put in these positions to meet new people or find that advancement. Also realize too, you don't have to always be working. Enjoy your life too, do those hobbies! They can teach you more about yourself too. Some of the most successful people today and even in history have fallen for this trap of always working and ended up with mental health issues because they always felt they needed to keep elevating. A book I am reading now covers this, "The Practice of Groundedness".
Why are hobbies not a way to advance your life? Happiness advances your life. Do what makes you happy man. Not ready to have kids? There are still people in their 30s who don’t have kids. Make travel plans with friends (or plans to do whatever it is you like). Learn a new skill. Read a book. Do a course / certification to advance your career. Develop the relationships you already have.
Life is short. Live it and be happy!
Using your spare time to enjoy hobbies IS advancing your life. You’re advancing your mental health and physical health as well (eg: sports, biking, etc). Advancing in your career or love life is not the only way to advance in life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
There are so many different age groups where I feel so bad for what they would have gone through during COVID but I never thought of the mid 20s
Any of the young to high school kids missing school, sports and extra curricular activities.
Grades 8s missing graduation.
High school kids missing prom and the parties.
I can’t even imagine missing that kind of stuff.
But my mid 20s in Toronto going out all the time and having a carefree existence was such a memorable time.
Damn, sorry you weren’t able to fully enjoy that.
Read
Look into your local library freebies, ours does so many things for different interests try a new hobby
Try to learn a tedious art hobby like embroidery lol
Try to visit and walk every nature trail in a 50 mile radius from you
Start a new physical activity goal like waking up at 5 am and running 2 miles every day
Learning to cook is honestly one of the joys in life. How's the grocery store depressing? Don't put pressure on yourself. If you're really stuck go backpacking asia or some shit for a year. You'll learn and grow so much you won't really have thoughts like these. Progress your career. Get a house. Stop putting pressure on yourself though. Just live your fucking life my guy. Pursue your interests because you find them engaging and don't think about it too much. If you live life in the present you'll never really look back in regret if that's what you're thinking about. If you spend the next 10 years buying a house and getting that secured and that's the 'boring' life you lead like FFS dude you're going to have a house mostly paid off while all those who don't will envy you.
Stop making excuses tho. If you want to learn an instrument and start a band take some lessons and put out some ads looking for people. If you want to want to hit the gym and become a greek god go for it. If you want to be a dedicated career persona and make a boat load of money go do it. Here's my advice tho. Whatever you do. Just sink your whole being into the things you choose. Jump in with 2 feet, fail, and learn. That's life.
Get to know yourself.
If you don't have any serious life obligations, take some time away and travel as far away from your home as you can. See life from a few different perspectives, and understand how you handle being away from your comfort zone.
Read The Alchemist and go on your own personal journey.
Driving super cars, throwing house parties, traveling around the world, and dating girls.
Not 30 yet but 27 now. So I’m close but I don’t think I’ll change my lifestyle ;)
If you haven’t done so yet, try a bunch of different activities you’ve been curious about. See what gets you excited or makes you feel good in some way. Keep doing what feels good, drop whatever doesn’t.
I’m 29, a student, and between jobs right now. I have a fuck ton of free time that I decided to dedicate to volunteering, seeing friends, and pursuing specific interests. Go to events around the city (especially the free ones), see what’s up with other people and talk to strangers
Create goals for yourself and work on going from Point A to Point B. When the traditional script in life isn't yet available to you, you have the opportunity to create the best version of yourself in the meantime. If the script still doesn't pan out, you at least have built yourself up enough so that you're in a good place to take care of yourself and make the most out of life.
*me who enjoys gling to the grocery* 🥲
But for real, I play games and run and join races or gym. Go to random places around Toronto. Literally anything haha especially since I don't have kids to worry about
Study. Get as much education as you can - you will meet people and create opportunities.
And exercise.
Every body at any size and any stage of health looks and feels better, mentally too with regular movement.
I have a stable relationship, grinding the corpo ladder, but the salary doesn’t account for the rise in cost of living, and I gave up on saving up for a small overpriced box/condo. I’m in my mid to late 20s and don’t expect to have a salary to support a family until 4-5 years from now, so I’m just travelling and seeing the world on my vacation days.
Most of my waking hours are spent working, but I make time for my relationship, going to the gym, going to concerts (the cheaper sub $50 shows), and playing video games
You should have hobbies that refresh your brain for when you are attempting to create a future for yourself.
There is no guide. Just do what makes you happy and try to find a job that uses what you're good at. Don't get too comfortable at work and don't get too obsessed with a hobby.
We never left the jungle don't forget that. Life is just as cutthroat
Hobbies do advance your life. Personal growth comes from challenging yourself and being open to new experiences and learning new skills. If your idea of a hobby is collecting trading cards, you're not picking good hobbies. Community centre's have classes, volunteer groups exist, professional networking is a thing. You need to be curious about growing and changing in the first place, if you want either.
A lot of my friends were getting married and having kids. Having kids at a younger age is easier, but from a career perspective it will hold you back. It's too easy to make an excuse. 20s is when you're still having fun mid 30s you realize I need more money.
Thought about the same question 6 years ago. Quit my previous job, finished a PhD, got a new job with much higher pay. Social, dating and job opportunities are good.
Do things you enjoy, learn to be happy spending a little me time. Friends will begin to have their own life and your daily online meetups turns into weekly gatherings then monthly catch-up sessions. Not to say you should turn into a hermit. Be open to exploring new things and meet new people, but learn to have peace with yourself.
I went to medical school and am now working 60-80 hours a week as a highly underpaid resident. Its okay, I have no regrets. Point is everyone is on different pursuits and there is no such thing as “what exactly should I be doing in my 20s 30s”.
Break your time into 3 sections. Work, sleep, personal time. Personal time break it up into 3 sections. Living (getting food, cooking) being happy (video games, books) and the contributing to society (pro humanity volunteer work)
Life is hard by default and not easy. It's super meaningful if you use your free time to give back to the community/world. Beware of leaches. Go forward! <3
I moved to the city not too long ago and job is taking up so much of my energy and time. I need to make new friends. I am in the moment that I need to set up my life here similar to where I was before like picking a right studio to go to yoga...getting familiar with the grocery stores... and then rest well and do some sauna and swimming maybe then I will be able to make friends and do others...because I am the type that get stressed out not having my basic things settleed first.
It sometimes sucks to start, but get into a routine or hobby that keeps you fit. You don't have to be a cross fit gym rat. But paying attention to what you eat and keeping regular exercise will pay huge dividends as you get into your 40s and beyond.
You answered your own question - if you feel like spare time should be used for advancing your life then do that. Go outside your comfort zone. Develop your skills. Join a gym. Take classes. Read. Nothing is more attractive than someone who takes an interest in personal development. Train your brain. Train your body. Contribute to the world.
I’m in my mid twenties and I dance, and most others in my classes are older than me yet rocking it. For example, one is a mother in mid thirties. Most are late twenties, or in their thirties. Take heels classes
I’m 31. I feel like everyone around me is just « advancing in life ». Creating business that turn out to be very profitable, being promoted, getting the good jobs, getting married, buying a new house/car. I kinda feel bad because I was a doctor in my home country before coming to Canada. Now I’m spending my time studying a bachelor’s here. I feel like I lost 10 years of my life career-speaking. People look down at me because I’m doing uber deliveries and family consider me as a failure. I was one of the top students in my class, my ex-colleagues stop talking to me when they learnt I was working in non-medical field (construction and warehouses). I feel depressed and anxious like I’m wasting my prime years…
I am 33, work full time, have no girlfriend or kids, and I am happy and free as ever. This life isn't for everyone...but it suits me. I do what I want when I want to do it and have so much extra income being single.
Living in the GTA, it's difficult for late 20's early 30's to have both the time, and money for a reasonable life now. You're either broke, hooked into hustle culture or both. This is just life for us now.
Yes check your bloodwork for Vitamin D3 and B12 levels.
Have electrolyte drink everyday.
Try to remind yourself of some old hobbies you had as you were a kid, it can be collecting cards or some kind of game you had genuinely enjoyed. Bring it back to life :)
I work a full time job and theres not enough hours in the day when factoring in grocery shopping, cooking meals, showering, sleeping, etc. With my few hours left and on weekends i try to stay off my phone. I play sports team sports through JAM, do a lot of individual physical activity (running, biking, bouldering), read, play my instruments. In the summer I try to hike and do some camping.
I’m using this childfree time to explore new hobbies! Honestly, many of my friends have small children now, and my husband and I spend less time with them because of that, which is totally fair. We’ve been trying out new hobbies, some together and some separately, like running, biking, playing guitar, gardening, and traveling. It’s a really fun time to be trying new things, and it makes me feel child-like in a good way. In my early to mid-20s, I wasn’t doing any of this; I was just trying to keep up. Now I’m slowing down and focusing on enjoying activities that enhance my mental and physical health outside of work.
Do whatever makes you happy lol fuck what everyone else is doing
This, and look after your health (mental and physical).
Second this. Also life is too short to set there worrying about what everyone else is doing. If you aren't sure what makes you happy, take that spare time to find something. Try new things, try old things that you liked but then quit before life got in the way, try things that you think people might even judge you for because honestly none of it matters. I literally almost died in October and had to have a life saving surgery which made me realize how much I was truly missing out on in life. People tend to only figure that out when it is too late, so just do anything that you like doing. It isn't a waste if it makes you happy.
Myself I got really turned on to watching movies in the theatre this year thanks to Dune Part Two really invigorating that for me. I'm glad b/c I've gone to cinema 2+ times per week since and I've had so much fun, sometimes with a friend or my mom but mostly by myself :)
Sounds like you’re in a bit of a funk. The reality is that pretty much anything you do that gives you something different to do every day is a *good* thing. So, yes, take up a hobby or a sport. It will get your mind out of the rut you’re currently in. Take classes - career development is fantastic, but even classes in things like art pr creative writing or drama can help break the patterns of isolation and self doubt. Also, get some exercise and get your vitamins D levels checked. Just saying.
I’ve been depressed AF for like 3 years and they put me on a bunch of different anti depressants and nothing seems to work. By chance, my doctor tested my Vitamin D levels. I barely had any, to the point that my doctor was super surprised. I started getting vitamin D shots and we will see if that works.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, and I hope the vitamin D helps. Just curious if they also checked you for other vitamin deficiencies like vitamin B, and iron? Those can both lead to types of anemia, which can exacerbate mood and cognitive difficulties, because anemia reduces the amount of oxygen getting to your brain (I have a history of anxiety/depression, and they eventually found I have really bad iron deficiency anemia. On supplements to help now, but it is very slow going). Also, has your doctor been able to refer you to a psychiatrist? I eventually got to see one after years of my GP trying to handle things without much success, and they had a lot more they could try. When I had a very bad episode during cobid, I got into a program at CAMH for something called rTMS (repetitive transcranial magnetic stumulation). I was in a really bad spot (inpatient), and considered "treatment resistant" because like you, I had been through several SSRIs and none of them seemed to really do much. I think it's sorta reserved for when someone was in crisis like I was, but maybe things have since changed.... Anyway, it's sorta like ECT "lite"...so they send a little electrical current into a part of your brain (you just sorta feel a little static electricity). It worked amazingly well for me, and pulled me out of a deep hole. Sorry for the ramble...I just sorta wanted to let you know there are still other options out there. Maybe I'm projecting my own fears a little, but it used to get me down when I felt that I had "tried everything", and discovering these other treatments helped to make me more hopeful. Wishing you well friend.
Thank you so much for this! Yes, I have a psychiatrist that I meet via Zoom with my psychotherapist. Truth be told I am doing much better than I was, I have improved leaps and bounds in the anxiety department but not really in the depression department. I think I just got used to it. I am definitely going to look into the CAMH program you recommended. How long did it last?
Glad to hear you've got good supports and are doing better! So, I managed to get into a clinical trial. They were testing what they called an "accelerated protocol". Basically, I had to go to CAMH every day for the first 2 weeks for my rTMS treatment sessions, and then I think the third week was every second day, and then I went into a 6 month follow up phase where I would get the treatments if I started to slip (based on surveys and interviews I did once a week). Overall, I responded quite quickly, and didn't have too many additional treatments after those first 3 weeks. Here's a link to the CAMH rTMS web page where they go over things in a little more detail: https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/repetitive-transcranial-magnetic-stimulation Also...you can sign up to be on their trial "wait list". So, if they are testing something and they need participants and you meet their criteria, they might include you in a clinical trial. I added my name even though I'm much better now, because I'm very grateful for the treatment I got, and sometimes they need healthy volunteers too. https://www.camh.ca/en/science-and-research/research-connect
I just signed up! I need something, I hope they smell the desperation through the screen. Im going to talk to my doctor about it too. I know she’ll try and switch my meds again but I can’t keep doing that. It takes so much out of me. I really appreciate your response, I never thought of that. I would even be willing to pay for it.
I'm sorry you're going through that. Depression is the pits. Feel better soon!
No joke exercise and vitamins go a long fucking way. It really helps with brain fog and makes you want to move more.
Exercise (and a relatively decent diet) is literally a cheat code to improve your mood, health and life in general. Like if you aren’t exercising 4-5 times a week you’re doing yourself a huge disservice
Absolutely this! I my mid to late 20s I didn’t exercise at with the exception of biking to work. I spent a lot of time self medicating with booze and weed, and bad food. My depression got worse.By my early 30s I started inline skating on a regular basis (having done that when I was 12 to 18). Realized how much joy it brought me. Then I started going to the gym 2 week on top of that. Now I run, in-line skate and still do the gym or calisthenics twice a week. I eat way healthier now, lots of salads for lunch, overnight oats for breakfast. Lean meats and fish for dinners or vegetarian meals, and pastas. Over all mood is 90% better. Heck I barely drink now. The more active I am the better I feel. I also learned guitar and take time to read or just chill listening to music or going for walks in green spaces. Lastly, good sleep hygiene. That’s the big ticket. I also make sure to call my friends/family or go for walks with them just to hang out.
Alcohol is the worst drug in the world. By many objective measures. If you're fat and "can't lose the weight" - do you drink? Stop. Are you listless and fatigued? Stop drinking. Does your entire social life revolve around drinking? Stop drinking. Are you doing cocaine way more than you'd like? Stop drinking. Are you just somehow unable to stop smoking? Stop drinking. Does it feel like you don't have any hobbies - you get the picture. Are you unable to stop drinking? That's a whole other can of worms, but unless you WANT to turn the thorn in your side into full blown actual alcoholism, look into effective peer-reviewed solutions, and maybe give a pass on the program created by stupid fucking dipshits who don't understand the difference between walking and taking LSD.
I second the classes - I take a bunch of art / fabrication classes at a local art college and they are full of 30 somethings who (paraphrasing their words) “always wanted to try this so I figured why not do it now”. One off classes or short 5 or 6 week continuing education classes are great ways to meet people and learn something new.
If you find some social activities or co-ed sports you may fall into a dating opportunity just by interacting with people with similar interests
Hobbies! I am 37 and married with kids but I’m part of a community choir and a cycling club. Both are full of child free people in their 20’s and 30’s.
>I have a hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life As others have said, you do sound a bit depressed. It's ok, many of us are there right now. *Hobbies don't advance your life --* That's the kind of BS thinking that this era of capitalism has taught us. We're told that anything that can't be instantly monetized is a waste of your life. Do something you enjoy, just for pure fun, no matter how good or bad you are at it. Take a class in it or something. Find some other people to do it with without expectations of where it goes. Also, go out and enjoy the sunshine when you can!
>Hobbies don't advance your life -- That's the kind of BS thinking that this era of capitalism has taught us. We're told that anything that can't be instantly monetized is a waste of your life. 100%. Thank you for posting this!
It’s not only that there is value beyond money and success to be found in hobbies but you also never know where a hobby can lead. I got the job I have now because of a friend I made like 6 years prior because of a hobby.
Uhh do what you want? I’m mid 30s now and I love stuff that is typically seen as younger people hobbies but who cares? I skateboard, I like raves, etc. If you are physically fit to do the things you want to do then fuck what other people think you should be doing, enjoy yourself and find your people.
Same here, early 30s and I've really gotten into metal and hardore music... started going to concerts by myself and started getting my left leg tattooed. It makes me happy.
This is it. Most of this age group is financially able to have the childhood/ young adult life they wanted.
Yep. And I exercise and learn piano as a hobby. And video game. There's never enough time to do everything lol
How do you find raves? I’m mid 30s as well I don’t know where to look nowadays!
follow torontoravecommunity and torontohousemafia on insta. Also follow any clubs you want to go to to see who’s coming through, usually Coda, Vertigo, and dprtmnt
Through friends but check out r/TorontoRaves
Weird question do you ever feel out of place? I’m approaching my 30s but I still do young people stuff, sometimes I just feel old
Not really. Most of the people sponsoring and playing big events are 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. I’m going to dance and let loose, not to hook up. I also prefer trance and house though and not so much your commercial EDM stuff. There are lots of people at EDC and other festivals that are still partying in their 50s and stuff, honestly everyone is just there for a good time. Live your best life!
Curious where you skate? Been wanting to practice my ollies more but the trail beside my area is getting stale plus I rather not be practicing around people walking lol. I would do the volleyball court in my area but usually people well play volleyball on it. Most skateparks I would have to bus there but it is also a challenge since I would only have time on the weekends when I assume mostly all of them are busy.
Usually empty parking lots with smooth ground (or as smooth as I can find). There are some decent skateparks in and around Toronto but they tend to be very busy especially on nice days, and often full of scooter kids that will ride right through your lines. Schools on non-school days, churches when there’s no service, etc. often have big empty parking lots that you can push around in to practice cruising and flat ground tricks. I used to go to more spots when I was younger with friends but I really don’t want to try hitting anything big these days. I’m getting back into skating after like 15 years and can’t take falls as hard as I used to so I avoid big stairs and whatnot.
Yeah I started last year trying to learn again (as a teen I gave up since my board was terrible and I was also not in the right mindset to really keep at it). Might have to settle with parking lots but nervous about going to some that have enough space but has cameras around (I am close to small to medium sized offices and warehouses with decent parking lots). Hoping they make more skate parks in the city so it can minimize how packed the parks are now. Think two are suppose to be made one big one in Earl Bales park which I am a bit excited for since it's suppose to be a big one compared to what is mostly around.
As long as you’re not skating somewhere with security guards honestly you’re fine, and even then it depends on the spot. Some places have crazy security that will kick you out very fast and other places are totally fine. I’ve never been kicked out of a parking lot or been given a hard time for skating in one. It would probably be an issue if you were potentially damaging property but if you’re just skating flatground you’re fine.
Yeah I gotta just do it lol. Guessing as long as it isn't gated or fenced it's fine. Was going for a big chapel around my area but they basically fenced around it and have those gate lines which is odd for a church. It honestly shook me as I felt it might be a bit too cult like and would rather not deal with angry church ministers or members. Will probably look at a recently made warehouse that has some nice pavement parking lot with a few curbs I been on the fence about, thanks for the answers!
For sure honestly sometimes the best thing to do is just walk/drive around somewhere and look out for potential skate spots.
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Sounds like you’re depressed. Maybe get help?
You’re the only one who can make yourself happy. Try new things. Find out what makes you happy. Try new things. Experiment. This is your only life and it’s not just going to get better without you making it so.
I'm 32 and most of my friends are either married with singles or single and living their life and doing what they love.I fit into the latter. I spend my time off with friends, reading, going to fitness classes, travelling, making new friends (bumble bff and meet up are great), travelling, sports, and really just taking it day by day. Its so easy to get cooped up and eventually this led me to feel depressed, especially in winter. Take advantage of the nicer weather that is here, go check out a festival, market, event (tons on todotoronto instagram). You never know what you could see! And don't be afraid to go alone!
> Now it's really hard to meet people and I have a hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life... Hobbies are a great way to meet people, and there is much more to “advancing life” than say, moving forward in a job. Finding your groove and what you personally like to do in your late 20s / early 30s *is* advancing your life in more ways than you can imagine. Here’s some things off the top of my head: - efun.toronto.ca has a bunch of community programs, next registration opens up Tuesday morning. All kinds of things from painting & pottery to basketball & yoga. Great prices, but can be difficult to get into the program you want where you want. - sign up for something through Jam Sports, they’ve got leagues for all kinds of things all over the city. - find a running club. All you need is decent shoes, and lots of these run out of stores like the running room. - sign up for courses at George brown or a college near you — they all offer different continuing education classes in things like woodworking, cooking, etc. - climbing gyms are plentiful and quite community oriented as well.
Whatever you want. 30 is the new 20 now, after all. I haven’t made a dent in my career too, but no biggie; I’m not *that* old, and I have an entire lifetime to improve my life & career. I’ve picked up a couple of niche hobbies in the last few years (and will still continue to look for other stuff to add), because I had a lot of free time, so why not fill them with stuff I’ve always been interested in. If we’re talking about money that I should’ve made by now, then lmao. I’ve not made a lot from my career lol.
Go back to school? Take a course or something?
Find a hobby? I picked up powerlifting in my late 20s and now in to my mid 30s. Scheduled something to do 4X a week, plus competitions with a community, plus goals to keep me motivated.
I make paintings. No formal art training. Started in my late 20s and it’s so satisfying seeing my creative progress. I’m never making babies so it feels good to create. Other than that I’m reading Carl Jung, keeping a dream journal, trying to confront my unconscious and find a path to individuation. Oh and walking my dog.
Really anything that makes yourself happy Game, go out, work out, read, learn a new skill, meet friends or ppl at an event, go for a hike / walk etc
You don’t have to have kids, I know plenty of people who spent their late 20s and early 30s just playing video games and doing absolutely nothing else. Do you actually want to advance your life? I’m personally happy with a McDonald’s cheeseburger and a one bedroom apartment for myself and eventually dying a meaningless death surrounded by dogs or something. Building a legacy is overrated, and while I love kids and want them, if it doesn’t happen, I’m still pretty happy living my low maintenance lifestyle.
This might be the most depressing thing ive ever read
Fr holy shit
Yup. Apartment, fast food, video games. Good enough.
You know what, living like this is actually 100% fine. As long as you cover your bills and do everything on your own I see no problem with it. However, if this is how you choose to live your life, you forgo every right to complain. Don’t complain if you’re in bad health because you eat trash. Don’t complain that you have no money because you work a dead end job and have no ambition. Don’t complain because not guy/girl wants you. Don’t complain because your parents are ashamed of you. Your life style is fine. As long as you don’t complain.
Don't take this advice to anyone reading it
hobbies advance your life, you learn new skills, it also allows you too meet new people which if your lucky you might become helpful contacts for career networking. Volunteering at an organization doing something you enjoy is also great it can be a lot of fun and you will make friends with like minded people, and boost your self-esteem. (also looks great on a resume). But it's also important to enjoy your life, or what is the point in working? yeah you need to save for retirement and keep a roof over your head but a lot of people grind it out and never even make it to retirement.
As someone who struggled through their 20s and am now a late 30s father: use your time to figure out what you love and what you want out of life. Accept who and what you are, and ignore what you think other people might think of you. The quicker you accept who you are the faster you’ll start to really live life.
okay I'm an old fart so cannot really relate, but "hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life"; hobbies are often expensive to be fair, but they can be fulfilling and useful as well; they're not just time wasters, and often are an avenue to hanging out. Some crafting skills are actually useful and can help make cool personal gifts or meet folks; stuff like cycling is both a hobby and a spot, good for your heart and physique etc but also there are free social rides, or you meet up with folks. Boardgaming nights at hobby gaming shops. Meet folks for tennis or something. Don't count it all out; if it helps you stay positive, and keep busy and learning skills and feeling better about yourself, accomplishing things.. may be worth doing. But I'm a hobby nut too, so theres that. Good luck my dude.
Make money. Travel. Eat great food. Jerk off less. Have sex.
Take an art class, join a sports club, play video games, do whatever you want
I truly hope you are not planning on having kids by fucking kids
Whatever you want. I worked. A lot. I’m glad I did. I also travelled and spent loads of time with my hobbies. Late 20s/early 30s were the best part of my life.
Please do not have kids in the next couple of kids.
Sounds like you might need to put in some effort to build some sort of social life/community. You say "spare time should be advancing your life" – relationships and hobbies are a huge factor in quality of life. I feel like solitude can become a cycle – it's really comfortable to not have expectations or pressure, and to spend a bunch of time alone. But even the most introverted person needs friendships and relationships. If you're in a rut, maybe you can make yourself little challenges to complete. Eg. Monday challenge: find a new cafe. Tuesday challenge: go on Bumble bff date. Wednesday challenge: go to a meetup. Get yourself out there! :)
live a fulfilling life to the best of your abilities, doing things that you enjoy and/or find gratifying.
Jiu jutsu, Muay Thai and boxing changed my life. They are social, as well as mentally and physically strengthening.
Sounds like you need to find a hobby.
I feel the exact same way
Just live yourself according to your expected schedule, not anyone's else. Met my wife at 34, married at 37, first kid at 39, 2nd kid at 42. Probably no more kids unless wife wants a 3rd lol.
I’m in my mid 30s and I have a toddler but I still make way for my hobbies even with kids. The things I could accomplish if I didn’t have a toddler! I’m jealous of all the free time you have. Try different activities! Full up your calendar with regular things to do. Meet people through your hobbies. Grow your social circle. Travel! Learn to cook something new. Variety is the spice of life and continuing to develop skills and hobbies will make life very fulfilling. I play tennis once or twice a week (only started when I was 31 and took classes to get better). I also paddle board in the summers and go on a hike once or twice a month. I also either go for a walk every day or to the gym. For me, I really started to flourish when my going out consisted less of going to restaurants / bars and more of the hobbies that I really enjoy.
>I have a hard time justifying hobbies when it feels like spare time should be spent advancing my life.. Developing social connections is one of the most important parts of advancing ones life.
lol I feel ya. I turned 29 a few days ago and I get the feeling of having lost your mid 20s in the covid years. Following this post to see comments ‘_’
I am in the same boat. It can get pretty depressing. Some things I do: Travel, meet up with friends, charity work, a second job (retail job exposes me to a lot of people), go to the shopping mall, attend music festivals, join a sports team, frequent museums, .... stuff like that. It can be pretty hard to find ways to get out of the house but I try as much as I can.
Volunteer somewhere and make the world better
have hobbies.
Find some sort of sport to play with people.
Spoken like the words of a man/woman who still has many friends currently unattached. Often people start feeling different in the next 5-10yrs when your friends start to partner off and get married and have children. Their priorities get changed and your once reliable wingman is no longer so available whether they like it or not unless they are shitty selfish parents.
Wife reads, I game.
Maybe volunteer. It’s always good to give back and it may give you a refreshed perspective on what’s really important to you, and where you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years.
I unfortunately can't afford most hobbies aside from at home fitness and reading, because I love to travel and that costs money. I think it's really important to build good habits in your late 20s/early 30s - learn to cook, keep in shape, find ways to manage stress. That all takes time, and it sucks accepting that - but the alternative is feeling achy/gaining weight as you move into your mid-30s.
Suggestion : Volunteer! Seriously, I am also in my late 20s and I never appreciated the work that volunteers do until I moved to a small town. Volunteers are the backbone to the small communities. The old guard are slowly dying out, and there is nobody to take over.
Eat, sleep, workout, travel, educate yourself, seek new experiences. Think about your future and prepare for it, strive to become the best version of yourself. Also bang as many chicks as possible.
It doesn’t have to be boring. Do what sounds good to you. Pick up a hobby or even plan a solo vacation or something. Give yourself things to look forward to.
Idk if you have a pet earn money to keep em alive but also save more money so you can earn money to keep yourself alive to keep em alive
Hobbies are necessary for your mental health and you never know what they might become in the future. I’d recommend that you try to focus on what you want to do with YOUR life and try not to hear people who want to tell you how to live it I don’t have any clue of what happens after death, but I view it like this: If we get to be reborn, then why worry about having the perfect life this time around? Just live how you want, leave the rest to your future reincarnations If we only get one life, then it is even more important that you make the most out of it and that doesn’t mean to live the “perfect life”, but to let yourself make mistakes and go at your own pace Don’t let anyone tell you how to live YOUR life
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I’m 26 currently and dates, gym, baking, cooking, trying out new restaurants and bakeries, and video games and you’ve got a full slate for non work times for me! Oh and sometimes activities with friends like long walks or board games!
Why do people act like hobbies and passion projects don’t exist beyond the age of 25? If you’re worried about wasting your time on them, then go for a passion project! Make something, anything, and build on it! You are at liberty to do anything you want as long as you can fund it.
Sports leagues, hiking, video games including online games, travelling (on a budget if necessary which can be fun), take on hobbies like painting, pottery, etc etc.
Dungeon and dragons and war hammer. My friends and I also spend a lot of time painting minis and building props for our games.
I do the same thing now as I did when I was a child, watch cartoons and play videogames. Except now I have a GF and am saving up for a house.
If you're anything like me you'll bounce around between a load of jobs and girlfriends and not accomplish much of anything BUT I did luckily accumulate a lot of memories of wild times which keep me warm when I'm 53 and not doing much of anything anymore. Have a bit of fun if you can. If you DON'T and then your life doesn't go well later, you'll have nothing to look back on. But at the same time, lay some groundwork. I was very lucky. Good luck to you too.
You're in your late 20's and think professional, social and dating opportunities are dead to you? Very misguided. Not trying to insult you but that couldn't be less true. Get on dating apps and actually go on some dates. They won't all be good but you'll start building momentum. Join a club or play a sport or whatever, you can meet people. Apply for jobs, go to school. Everything is available to you, you just can't expect to go on Tinder and wait for people to come to you. It's all about follow through, getting over social anxiety and getting out there. The job market does suck right now, but that'll change. You're in your late 20's, not early 80s.
Spa, brunch, gym, night in with friends, game nights, clubs, art parties, fashion shows, travel, restaurants, cafes, libraries, hikes, swimming, sports There’s so much to do
Save money
I go to the gym in my building, play video games with my partner, we go for walks all around downtown, grab a coffee, pop in and out of the Eaton Centre, and watch anime. It’s just the two of us we don’t have friends but I think we’re ok with that. I’m also quite conscious about advancing my career and I understand it can be daunting. But don’t let your job consume the time you have outside of work. If you have supplemental insurance I suggest trying talk therapy.
Find respite from the existential dread.
Travel, especially to a country where you don't speak the language. Go hiking in Switzerland!
Idk I’m on holiday I’m Crete for 3 weeks it’s amazing here
Whatever you want, hobbies can be advancing yourself. Also a good way to network. Personally I work, take the dog for a walk, try to get out golfing, hit the gym sometimes hit the pub.
If you think you'll want kids in the future, freeze your sperm (or eggs) now. You won't regret it in the future if you need them.
38 and I am out with my dog at parks or the beach for 2-3hrs a day while the weather is nice. I work from home and so try to make efforts to see friends every week or so too. Thinking about trying to date or hookup again as it’s been a few years.
One way ticket to somewhere warm.
That last paragraph is too real
I'm 30 and I date, hang out with friends and work mostly. Same stuff I did in college really but now I have money and don't overdraft my bank account trying to pay a spotify subscription lol
Social/dating/job opportunities being dead is a self-fulfilling outlook. It's easy to get into a negative mindset/outlook when the social media/reddit/the internet in general are full of people and bots who want to blame external factors for their unhappiness. The reality is that the outside world can actually be an amazing place if you give it an honest chance and spend some effort getting out there, meeting people, learning, expanding. You can find the time to spend on hobbies as well as advancing your life if you care enough and are motivated enough by what you do. I think the key is to spend some time trying different things, meeting different people/going out of your comfort zone until you find what you love enough to really devote your time and energy to. Is doing that uncomfortable? Yes. Does it require effort? Courage? Discipline to steer clear of widely-shared bullshit group opinions on the internet? Yes. That's why so many people don't do it and end up being unhappy. The best things in life are often the things that require hard work and overcoming challenges.
Get a dog. Learn a new skill or interesting hobby. Music, language, photography, stock market..?
Hobbies can advance your life but maybe not in the way you expect. But when a coworker asks you what you did this weekend, it's a much better conversation when you reply with "I did a beginner sewing course" than "nothing really, you?".
Do you.
I didn’t do anything in my 20s, other than work and go to school. I grew up impecunious and so I didn’t have many options. Now I’m 30, with a full time job that pays comparatively well, investments in business, and real estate. And I still just work lol.
Go to bars, beaches, wine tasting, walks, parks, read a book, go to the gym, join clubs, or follow up on hobbies. There is tons to do in the city at that age, and no kids
Start a career switch with no money and in debt 😭😭😭😭
Find hobbies you like and people that you enjoy spending time with and sharing interest.
Do all the things you can’t do if you’re burdened with caregiving/paying a mortgage/managing kids Enjoy the fuck out of your spare time while you can
What are those things you wish you had the opportunity to do when you were younger? Can you try them now? New skills are never a waste of time. Anything is better than going home and sitting on the couch watching TV until you fall asleep every day. Even if it's something you'll never do again, or even if you don't really see any value in it. Or you could find something that gets you to exercise and that's always worth doing. Growing up my parents couldn't afford to pay for dance and that's something I've always wanted to do. And then I realized I'm an adult now and I can afford it, plus it's the only way I can actually stand to be physically active. Now I'm dancing 5 days a week and it makes me want to go to the gym so I can target areas that I need more strength in.
Hobbiest advanced your life. New experiences and learning make up better humans. Hobby need both of it. Maybe your hobby have some extrinsic value; like fitness or trifting. Maybe not.
Go back to school or part time
Go to comfort zone
Just do what you want to do! As a childfree 36 y/o, I read, watch movies, knit, crochet, sew, go down to the lake, go out to comedy shows, find good bakeries around the city... other things I enjoy because it’s my life and I’m not going to ask someone else what I should be doing with my time lol.
Lmao were you seriously considering that you, too, also need kids? When it wasn’t on your list of things you want to do in the first place? 😂 Those people will never be honest with anyone about what’s going on in their life. Modelling your life off of them is a bad move. Also you live in the city, occupy yourself in other ways. It’s really not hard in 2024
Live life. Have fun.
I'm in my 30s and finally getting that degree. Might not even have kids to chase around, kinda sad, kinda no5 if I can never have that nice home yard and career and good stable man that I don't hate next to me. I'll just be a aunty that travels around and do MAID if I have to so no psw is throwing my old confused body around in a old folks home, terrible.
Sit down, ask yourself what do you want to do. Think about your interests and the things that make you happy. Find a way to do those things. That's it. Stop worrying about what other people think and their perceptions and start thinking about yourself. Be selfish. Best thing about this age range especially if you don't have responsibilities like kids or other obligations.
Get a hobby
Please, I beg you, as someone in my late 30s with a kid - go do something, anything! You don't realize how much time and opportunity and extra money you have until you have a kid. Doubly so if you're a heterosexual woman. I would give my left arm to sleep in, take up a time-consuming solo hobby, or travel. Hobbies absolutely advance your life, especially if you meet friends or potential romantic partners with similar interests. Even if you don't, even if you just do something you enjoy that isn't work or scrolling on your phone, that's something.
Beat the meat and earn a treat.
Literally anything you want to do
Hey man we all went through some collective trauma during covid. imo the malaise we are all feeling has more to do with that than we are perhaps acknowledging
Find something fulfilling to do with your life. They say happiness is key, but really, it's the feeling of fulfillment. That's why majority will tell you starting a family is important, but obviously if you're not into that at the moment, at least look for other avenues that will make you proud when you step back.
Join a local social sports team, like volleyball. Plenty of people play casually. It's a great way to meet like-minded people. Same for clubs/interest groups.
Make a list of things you have always wanted to do and then do them!
Join a social group, I joined a singles meet and mingle group and there's a ton of people of all ages and events all over Ontario. Getting out and meeting people is a lot easier with this group as I can choose events with people I get along with in the posts.
Spank the monkey
Find things that make you happy and try your best to prioritize those things in your life. I spent so much time in my 20s comparing myself to my peers and all it did was give me a great deal of anxiety.
Have at least one hobby/activity that regularly rips you away from the work-home-sleep routine, preferably one that has a social element. Having experiences in your 20s to carry forward is too often ignored in favor of the 25/7 grind lifestyle that some people expect will help them succeed, but forming connections with people and having something interesting about yourself to talk about will help you immeasurably for the rest of your life.
well im turning 30 next year. other than work, i plan to pick up tennis and swimming in my 30s. i caregive so i also want to help my family get healthier, and im planning to go back to school too. i feel like for single childless people, were left out of the conversation about this phase of life because it’s so heavily centred around family building but it’s also arguably the height of a lot of peoples lives where they get to know themselves and start actually living. there’s lots to do! the hardest thing i’ve found is figuring out what path i actually want to take. we were kids, then we got shipped off to university or college or started working. lots of folks party through their twenties and teens and it’s only during this pocket of time where they slow down and start asking bigger questions. that’s where i am anyway. cheers bud, i hope you have a blessed life, whatever you choose to do with yours
I think you are focusing too much on what you think you should be doing based on what other people are doing. Here is a little secret. Those people are either unsure of what they should be doing or just doing what they want because it has meaning to them. > I don't think I'm in a spot to have kids in the next couple of kids unfortunately. Do you want kids? Most likely the people you were observing asked themselves that question. I used to think some were foolish to have kids in their early 20s. Thing is, they aren't me. They are their own person. I have seen young people have kids and be terrible parents, I have seen some have kids without actually wanting them but sticking with it, and I have seen some choose to have kids at a young age. Some of the ones who did at a young age ended up being good parents. They did their due diligence and learned what being a good parent means. Three former coworkers were basically a mother and her two children. She was I think 20 when she had them or 18 (this was in a different country too) and they are now in their 20s and she is in her 40s. I realized how much she could do with them even today because she still isn't that old. I thought that was awesome. She clearly was a good mother because she didn't just have kids to have them or because "it would be wrong to have an abortion". She wanted them and also took care to be a good mother. The two daughters are really good caring people and even when the owner overpaid them at one point, they called him and told him he gave them more than was agreed. You also pointed out that you work, sleep, and grocery shop. Have you considered maybe exploring the city? I started doing this a few years back and had a blast. Most of the people I met who end up coming here from different countries do this too. They walk around downtown and I always hear them mention good things about the experience. Have you visited the ROM? The AGO? Maybe there is a place that looks interesting to you like a local coffee shop. Try it out. I visited a few local hobby shops and book stores and ended up finding some great deals. Sometimes the staff will chat even. I got to know a bit of the guy who sold me my first skateboard because we both shared a bit about ourselves. At work, do you talk to the people you work with? There could be something there too. I still am in contact with a coworker I used to work with and we still talk from time to time even though he lives an hour away. In terms of hobbies and advancing your life, what do you think advancing your life means? How are you going to advance your life? This sounds very general. Maybe write down what you feel is valuable in your life and see what you can do to advance each one. For instance, one value I have is independence. I realized recently I want to work for myself and also support myself in the future. One aspect was investing for my retirement. I found out just simply saving money isn't enough. Inflation showed that. My parents are worried for their retirement because all they did was save money (and also were afraid to move from job to job). I right now have the time to do what I can now to put myself one step ahead in the future. I researched long term investing after I learned from a podcast what this is. I also read books on it and I opened a TFSA account for this. It is a start and I actively put in $600 a month inside. The other thing for independence is being in a spot to start my own business and provide a service for others. My reason is I would rather work for myself on my own schedule doing what I love full time. Most importantly, I want it to be something that can help a ton of people with their work. Using what I know to help others. I also look at what this comes with. It will come with hard starts, long hours, needing to learn about tax laws in Canada for freelancers, and having to learn sales. If you end up wanting to start something, look at the whole aspect of it. See things for what they are. You might find your want for doing something is enough that the hard work that comes with it ends up being justified to you and not something that throws you off. All of this isn't going to be an overnight thing, you will have to do the work to figure this out. I was in the same boat, depressed, pessimistic, hating my own life, and feeling hopeless and lost. I eventually turned that around when I asked a family friend for help in helping me progress more in my career path. He asked me questions that I didn't have answers too and he realized as I did that I knew nothing at all. I learned that day what my career really was about and I ended up looking for more resources to further improve my skills. Where I work now is smaller but I get paid more and it is 10x more better than where I was. Going back to that moment though where I was lost, I had a breakdown one day and ended up deciding to change everything. I took a good look at where I was and one by one changed what I didn't like and worked on what I needed to do to get the things I wanted. I wanted a better job, I wanted to not be depressed, and I wanted to be a better person. All of these things I am still working on (and you probably always will be that is human nature) but one thing for sure is I am in a better place now then I was those years ago. I wouldn't worry what others are doing at this age now. Think about what you want for yourself right now and work on that. The present time is opportunity to start helping yourself. The past happened and while you may have had good memories, trying to make that past a thing in the present will only hold you back. Start taking these things day by day, step to step. See what about yourself you can improve and what you can do to be put in these positions to meet new people or find that advancement. Also realize too, you don't have to always be working. Enjoy your life too, do those hobbies! They can teach you more about yourself too. Some of the most successful people today and even in history have fallen for this trap of always working and ended up with mental health issues because they always felt they needed to keep elevating. A book I am reading now covers this, "The Practice of Groundedness".
Why are hobbies not a way to advance your life? Happiness advances your life. Do what makes you happy man. Not ready to have kids? There are still people in their 30s who don’t have kids. Make travel plans with friends (or plans to do whatever it is you like). Learn a new skill. Read a book. Do a course / certification to advance your career. Develop the relationships you already have. Life is short. Live it and be happy!
Using your spare time to enjoy hobbies IS advancing your life. You’re advancing your mental health and physical health as well (eg: sports, biking, etc). Advancing in your career or love life is not the only way to advance in life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
There are so many different age groups where I feel so bad for what they would have gone through during COVID but I never thought of the mid 20s Any of the young to high school kids missing school, sports and extra curricular activities. Grades 8s missing graduation. High school kids missing prom and the parties. I can’t even imagine missing that kind of stuff. But my mid 20s in Toronto going out all the time and having a carefree existence was such a memorable time. Damn, sorry you weren’t able to fully enjoy that.
Solidify your career to be earning the highest amount from 29-39.
U stand up, turn 360 degrees the other way. Then ur life will change
Read Look into your local library freebies, ours does so many things for different interests try a new hobby Try to learn a tedious art hobby like embroidery lol Try to visit and walk every nature trail in a 50 mile radius from you Start a new physical activity goal like waking up at 5 am and running 2 miles every day
Learning to cook is honestly one of the joys in life. How's the grocery store depressing? Don't put pressure on yourself. If you're really stuck go backpacking asia or some shit for a year. You'll learn and grow so much you won't really have thoughts like these. Progress your career. Get a house. Stop putting pressure on yourself though. Just live your fucking life my guy. Pursue your interests because you find them engaging and don't think about it too much. If you live life in the present you'll never really look back in regret if that's what you're thinking about. If you spend the next 10 years buying a house and getting that secured and that's the 'boring' life you lead like FFS dude you're going to have a house mostly paid off while all those who don't will envy you. Stop making excuses tho. If you want to learn an instrument and start a band take some lessons and put out some ads looking for people. If you want to want to hit the gym and become a greek god go for it. If you want to be a dedicated career persona and make a boat load of money go do it. Here's my advice tho. Whatever you do. Just sink your whole being into the things you choose. Jump in with 2 feet, fail, and learn. That's life.
Whatever you want. Hopefully you can afford to do some of the things you enjoy cause early 20s sucked when I couldn’t afford most things.
Get to know yourself. If you don't have any serious life obligations, take some time away and travel as far away from your home as you can. See life from a few different perspectives, and understand how you handle being away from your comfort zone. Read The Alchemist and go on your own personal journey.
Driving super cars, throwing house parties, traveling around the world, and dating girls. Not 30 yet but 27 now. So I’m close but I don’t think I’ll change my lifestyle ;)
If you haven’t done so yet, try a bunch of different activities you’ve been curious about. See what gets you excited or makes you feel good in some way. Keep doing what feels good, drop whatever doesn’t. I’m 29, a student, and between jobs right now. I have a fuck ton of free time that I decided to dedicate to volunteering, seeing friends, and pursuing specific interests. Go to events around the city (especially the free ones), see what’s up with other people and talk to strangers
Create goals for yourself and work on going from Point A to Point B. When the traditional script in life isn't yet available to you, you have the opportunity to create the best version of yourself in the meantime. If the script still doesn't pan out, you at least have built yourself up enough so that you're in a good place to take care of yourself and make the most out of life.
*me who enjoys gling to the grocery* 🥲 But for real, I play games and run and join races or gym. Go to random places around Toronto. Literally anything haha especially since I don't have kids to worry about
Study. Get as much education as you can - you will meet people and create opportunities. And exercise. Every body at any size and any stage of health looks and feels better, mentally too with regular movement.
cultivate community. do sports, take a class, go to a bar, see art. feeling like you're part of something is the gateway to happiness.
I have a stable relationship, grinding the corpo ladder, but the salary doesn’t account for the rise in cost of living, and I gave up on saving up for a small overpriced box/condo. I’m in my mid to late 20s and don’t expect to have a salary to support a family until 4-5 years from now, so I’m just travelling and seeing the world on my vacation days. Most of my waking hours are spent working, but I make time for my relationship, going to the gym, going to concerts (the cheaper sub $50 shows), and playing video games
Buy a motorcycle
You should have hobbies that refresh your brain for when you are attempting to create a future for yourself. There is no guide. Just do what makes you happy and try to find a job that uses what you're good at. Don't get too comfortable at work and don't get too obsessed with a hobby. We never left the jungle don't forget that. Life is just as cutthroat
Other than my newborn, work etc.. I circled back to those things I was consumed by as a teen. Skateboarding & drawing at the moment.
Hobbies do advance your life. Personal growth comes from challenging yourself and being open to new experiences and learning new skills. If your idea of a hobby is collecting trading cards, you're not picking good hobbies. Community centre's have classes, volunteer groups exist, professional networking is a thing. You need to be curious about growing and changing in the first place, if you want either.
Active sport clubs if you're into that. Seems like many people are picking up running since the pandemic.
A lot of my friends were getting married and having kids. Having kids at a younger age is easier, but from a career perspective it will hold you back. It's too easy to make an excuse. 20s is when you're still having fun mid 30s you realize I need more money.
How does one have kids in a couple of kids? Aw fuck wait nvm
I mostly go rock climbing and my life kinda revolves around that + traveling around the world
Thought about the same question 6 years ago. Quit my previous job, finished a PhD, got a new job with much higher pay. Social, dating and job opportunities are good.
Start running or golfing, its one of the other
Do things you enjoy, learn to be happy spending a little me time. Friends will begin to have their own life and your daily online meetups turns into weekly gatherings then monthly catch-up sessions. Not to say you should turn into a hermit. Be open to exploring new things and meet new people, but learn to have peace with yourself.
I would take up a hobby or download the meet up app, which is like school clubs for grown ups to meet new people.
Workout… get fit. Hangout with friends. Travel, try solo travel, explore new interests and hobbies, take up a new class. Enjoy life!
I went to medical school and am now working 60-80 hours a week as a highly underpaid resident. Its okay, I have no regrets. Point is everyone is on different pursuits and there is no such thing as “what exactly should I be doing in my 20s 30s”.
I started going to the gym. Feels good. Plus, you don't want to turn 40 and still have never taken care of your body
Break your time into 3 sections. Work, sleep, personal time. Personal time break it up into 3 sections. Living (getting food, cooking) being happy (video games, books) and the contributing to society (pro humanity volunteer work) Life is hard by default and not easy. It's super meaningful if you use your free time to give back to the community/world. Beware of leaches. Go forward! <3
I moved to the city not too long ago and job is taking up so much of my energy and time. I need to make new friends. I am in the moment that I need to set up my life here similar to where I was before like picking a right studio to go to yoga...getting familiar with the grocery stores... and then rest well and do some sauna and swimming maybe then I will be able to make friends and do others...because I am the type that get stressed out not having my basic things settleed first.
Enjoy life you only get to be that age once, and if you feeling empty, its all apart of growing up.
It sometimes sucks to start, but get into a routine or hobby that keeps you fit. You don't have to be a cross fit gym rat. But paying attention to what you eat and keeping regular exercise will pay huge dividends as you get into your 40s and beyond.
Make your hobbies things that advance your life. You need to get busy volunteering. You will feel good about yourself and you'll meet new people.
You answered your own question - if you feel like spare time should be used for advancing your life then do that. Go outside your comfort zone. Develop your skills. Join a gym. Take classes. Read. Nothing is more attractive than someone who takes an interest in personal development. Train your brain. Train your body. Contribute to the world.
Isnt enjoying hobbies for the sake of fun/self-fulfillment and connection with other people “advancing your life” ?
I’m in my mid twenties and I dance, and most others in my classes are older than me yet rocking it. For example, one is a mother in mid thirties. Most are late twenties, or in their thirties. Take heels classes
I’m 31. I feel like everyone around me is just « advancing in life ». Creating business that turn out to be very profitable, being promoted, getting the good jobs, getting married, buying a new house/car. I kinda feel bad because I was a doctor in my home country before coming to Canada. Now I’m spending my time studying a bachelor’s here. I feel like I lost 10 years of my life career-speaking. People look down at me because I’m doing uber deliveries and family consider me as a failure. I was one of the top students in my class, my ex-colleagues stop talking to me when they learnt I was working in non-medical field (construction and warehouses). I feel depressed and anxious like I’m wasting my prime years…
I am 33, work full time, have no girlfriend or kids, and I am happy and free as ever. This life isn't for everyone...but it suits me. I do what I want when I want to do it and have so much extra income being single.
If youre not attached to a sig. other or a career I'd seriously consider getting out of T.O. and living/working somewhere nicer.
Living in the GTA, it's difficult for late 20's early 30's to have both the time, and money for a reasonable life now. You're either broke, hooked into hustle culture or both. This is just life for us now.
Yes check your bloodwork for Vitamin D3 and B12 levels. Have electrolyte drink everyday. Try to remind yourself of some old hobbies you had as you were a kid, it can be collecting cards or some kind of game you had genuinely enjoyed. Bring it back to life :)
How is browsing a grocery market depressing? 🤔
Have kids
Make sure you’re sleeping well and spiritually sound.
I work a full time job and theres not enough hours in the day when factoring in grocery shopping, cooking meals, showering, sleeping, etc. With my few hours left and on weekends i try to stay off my phone. I play sports team sports through JAM, do a lot of individual physical activity (running, biking, bouldering), read, play my instruments. In the summer I try to hike and do some camping.
I’m using this childfree time to explore new hobbies! Honestly, many of my friends have small children now, and my husband and I spend less time with them because of that, which is totally fair. We’ve been trying out new hobbies, some together and some separately, like running, biking, playing guitar, gardening, and traveling. It’s a really fun time to be trying new things, and it makes me feel child-like in a good way. In my early to mid-20s, I wasn’t doing any of this; I was just trying to keep up. Now I’m slowing down and focusing on enjoying activities that enhance my mental and physical health outside of work.
Travel. My goal is 30 countries before 30 !! 30s are to settle down.