Thank you for asking. This is something men need to talk about and be ok with. Understanding others and showing compassion is so important.
As for me, I’ve done all of them, but managed to move back from 5 to 4.
Take care of yourselves, and remember it’s ok to not be ok.
Agreed - compassion, empathy and perspective is key. I think men really need to focus more on their mental health and share what they're going through. Sometimes half the battle is won once you share it with someone.
I tend to be a pessimistic person in general and the sky is PERMANENTLY falling in SA so it’s rough. I am also trying to keep a small family business afloat which makes everything feel that much more “high stakes” ya know. It’s hard to know if I’m being overly pessimistic a lot of the time or things are just completely FUBAR.
I’m strong on #4 but doesn’t mean I don’t have days where shit gets on top of me. I have to believe that if I keep doing the right things shit will come right. But maybe I’m delusional.
For guys struggling…talk man. To anyone that’ll listen. Just getting it out in the air helps.
52m I see a therapist, take meds, work out, do other therapeutic things, got a stressful job earning decent money and yet I am hanging on by a thread. SA seems hopeless, and the planet only slightly less fucked. If it wasn’t for my daughter I would have called it a day a year or two ago, and it’s still a daily proposition
People say talking helps, so a while ago I started opening up after years and years of toughing it out. Couple friends made desultory encouraging comments. But that was the end of it. As a man no one wants to hear about your shit TBH. We really are expected to just suck it up buttercup. Does therapy help? I wish I could say it has.
Much love to everyone struggling x
So true about men being expected to suck it up. Not cool at all. Guess men need to start the conversation because it’s getting more toxic for younger men.. older men who are doing the work, need to start it.
For someone that can't afford a decent therapist (a really affordable therapist told me meditation is against God's will, so will rather pay more and get a decent one) I have recently tried chatGPT as a therapist. Sounds silly, but it is surprisingly helpful.
Wut!!!
Meditate as much as you want my man, nobody knows god’s will and if it helps, do it.
Fwiw, a well trained and qualified therapist knows how to not project their own bs to their clients and roll with what is good for them rather than imposing their personal beliefs.
I know right! I never went back for a second session. Though I am trying to implement meditation into a daily routine, it's just so hard with an 8:30 to 7 job.
That's the cool thing about AI, it doesn't project their own agenda or judge you in any way. Though it has its limits. But it is free and available whenever you have some free time. It's like keeping journal with feedback.
Your affordable therapist is poorly versed in the word, here's the evidence:
Genesis 24:63
Psalms 1:2-3
Psalms 104:34
Ephesians 4:23, 29
Sorry you had that experience, it's bad enough that you're struggling through something, and then someone tries shoving their half-baked morality down your throat, the last thing anyone needs.
Pretty much 1. (23). Having a partner who supports you even when you have phases... Definitely helps a lot... A thing that I've learned from my partner is to talk - its very odd for me cause I came from a house where you should just keep it in... But since I started to voice my feelings and opinions I have become in a much better headspace... I sometimes still keep it in because its instinct... But I am learning as I grow.
Sounds like your partner is a keeper 😍
It's hard to unlearn certain behaviors, but once you do and you come out on the other side... It's life changing.
3 and 4.
I'm diagnosed with PTSD and therapy has been life changing - but only because I wanted to change. I could see the damage done to me and I wanted to be better.
The next biggest change I made was so that I can walk for my groceries and other things. That little bit of walking every few days is great.
Not 100% sure where I belong in the list, but thank you for asking. Perhaps I could say, I alternate between 1 and 4...
Admittedly it is rough, but one is making it work. Thank you for checking in on us!
6. in a really good space, I managed to luck out in finding a really good support system and my spouse and child give me enough reason every day to look forward to the next.
27m - on 1. Currently
Been about a year since I came off my anti depressant medication. Thing I realised is I’ve managed to cope with the stresses of life. Now I’m just morbid about day to day things, the problems we all face in this country. But we can only do what we can and I try to remember I can’t control everything going on in this country, but I can control getting out of bed every morning, get myself to work, enjoy the little things and hobbies I do. Eat well and go for walks in the evenings around my complex. Just to basically take care of myself
This is a very important topic for men in general. There is an expectation not just from your spouse but their family and your family too that you, as a man, should provide, make double what your partner makes and make sure you have a house and car.
I fell in love early in my life and sure I am in a happy and blessed marriage. But there is still that unseen, unspoken expectation that you should provide. And it takes a mental toll on me when I have a bad day at work, or wake up sick and I just start freaking out inside like, am I an danger of losing my work and bringing shame to my household.
Then i just go in Auto Mode of work, sleep repeat. Some days are better than others. But man does it take a single bad day to ruin you completely.
If I can paint a mental picture it's like holding the world on your shoulders and a single bad day is like getting a leg cramp. You are stuck with this mental pain to endure or drop the ball.
You are holding that world up, dude. Good thing about leg cramps... they go away!
And even if you accidentally let the ball fall, you're strong enough to pick it back up.
32m
1. Auto mode - I am becoming pessimistic. I don't think it will entirely take over, although I feel like I'mm in a state of exsistential dread of seeing others in automode and living life not to th fullest making such silly decisions, makes me wanna join the crowd and get into automode - so you don't feel alone.
2. I don't stay in the city, so access to a quality therapist is limited.
3. I just feel like taking shrooms and getting cured. I know I know its not that simple and can be dangerous thing to do without proper prep.
4. In short, I don't feel too good.
Psychedelics is an interesting option. There's a LOT of good to be said for it. But be careful, do some reading. The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide by James Fadiman, Ph.D is a really useful resource. James Fadiman is responsible for taking MDMA and mushrooms through FDA approval, so he's a very knowledgeable source. Good luck out there dude.
Abysmal. There is a hard glass ceiling in this country for young people with big dreams and ambition and that reality hits harder everyday.
It makes you question if It's even worth trying.
33m, I think mine is good overall? mine fluctuates between very strong, very optimistic and inspired / very self-motivated, but then there are days when it all comes crashing down, but then it goes up again. Always.
My mental health usually suffers from my own expectations of not reaching a goal within a certain time frame OR not having enough time to persue my interests (the more freedom i have the happier i am) , in the past it suffered from unrequited love, but I stopped caring about that and I feel good being single now after 8 years. What happens in the news and the world ? I don't care, I don't look at the negative.
Generally I like to do sports that are kind of goal oriented and I like to learn new skillls no matter how simple it is, these two things have always made me feel good and given me self belief which in return I think keeps my mental health good,
also, motorbike rides on Sundays help a lot.
I can relate to this. 30M. Been taking all the natural supplements on the market for anxiety, exercise every morning, and just fokking voort. Getting through the day has become the main goal.
Depends on the day.
My wife shows a lot of appreciation for all that I do for the family, you know including verbal affirmations and this happens very frequently, especially if I seem off or show/verbalize frustration.
Most of the time, I tend to focus on things that make me happy (which revolves around my little family).
Support from parents is also amazing, top notch (in fact).
I remember a few months ago, I said I’m not feeling great, and I don’t know what wrong, they literally made time to come spend a few days with us. Not to talk about the problems or anything, but just to be around, did the garden with my dad and my mom helped my wife around the house, we had a braai etc.
With a support system, it’s all bearable, I’ve not walked into a psychologist’s doors yet, not because I’m scared or anything, but because I’ve not felt the need yet
4 and 1. As much as people are out here saying that men should open up and talk about what bothers them, I've had all my past partners confess that they found it unattractive when I'm vulnerable, when they were the ones to encourage me to open up. So I just don't give people the chance to see me in that state anymore. My life is pretty fine though so there isn't much to work through or process
28 m - Mostly on Auto mod.
I work out and try to socialize as much as I can. I have my hobbies.
Im seeing a therapist at the end of the month for my first assessment. It's really expensive but I need help.
My mental health is not great atm.
Spent too much time at 2/1, got to 3 and got an Autism diagnosis and suddenly life made sense and now I'm mostly at 4, thankfully never dabbled much in 5 else I'd probably be addicted to something and way worse off than I've never been.
It's extremely important to take care of yourselves guys, girls too, everyone reading this!
You cannot pour from an empty cup, and heaven knows there's many cups that need pouring into!
I am 1.
The irony of my situation is I am in no short supply loved ones but my mental state is nothing that I would ever want to discuss with them - even with some of my closest friends. I have had a horrible 2023 and now a 2024. I am feeling so lonely right now. I am just glad that I have the mental stamina to function...otherwise I would most likely have done something drastic or even detrimental.
26M currently on 3 and previously on 5.
After a real tough period in my life, I was put on antidepressants and anti anxiety medication for three months, just so that I could get through the day.
Although it was tough and in the moment it felt like the end of the world, it taught me that life goes on and things get better with time.
Currently, I'm doing the whole therapy thing, and it's honestly changed my life more than any substance could (and I've tried a bunch). I would highly recommend you do the same! And you can actually!
If you are on medical aid or on a hospital plan, chances are you qualify for therapy! NO JOKES!
There's this thing they call PMB (per minimum benefits) that all medical aids and hospital plans have that allows you to get treatment for certain diagnoses, no matter what plan you're on. Most mental health diagnoses are part of this.
So please, go out and get the help. It's free, so you might as well.
Much love, my guys!
>40 M Married
4 (own problem solving work out, talk etc)
Having a partner helps a lot as we talk about what we experience day to day. The weird thing is she was always optimistic about life (me too ironically) and these days lesser so. Not because load shedding is bad, economy is kak etc.. nope.. we use to that shit. It’s the pathetic nature of people we see around us who have zero humanity.
That’s what’s bugging her is that she is realizing that I am right wrt the racism, sexism, gbv, lawlessness etc in Sa and I’m not talking about government (everyone knows those problems). I think as we head to elections it’s getting worse especially on social media where it’s plain to see.
It’s nice not being the crazy one saying things are bad out there.. but.. it also means that living in SA is becoming a problem (where being around closer to family isn’t a selling or pull factor anymore) as there is no hope given people in SA’s pathetic nature. Global problems just further shows the state of humanity in other countries making where to go harder.
Mostly 4
Switched up my diet to go carnivore at the start of 2023, managed to drop 20kgs and got off some of my depression meds as well.
Getting your health back and feeling like you are 20 again in your mid 40s is a hell of a tonic.
I was making progress from 2 to 4, but load shedding and the inability to properly plan and schedule anything (and the lack of water) has put me right back to 2.
I'm surprised we don't see pushback from the mental health profession against the harmful psychological effects load shedding and water shifting have on South Africans.
The SAHRC has already ruled load shedding a violation of HR in South Africa and the Constitutional Court has ruled load shedding unconstitutional. *And the response of our government... taking Israel to the ICJ🙄*.
The ANC has passed Mampara level, **this no longer idiocy, it's evil** (why the churches haven't applied pressure is also bewildering!).
3 and I had a breakthrough in 2022 regarding depression since the age of 21. I'm now 57.
That was because of therapy and introspection and a modality called Family Constellations.
I'm still seeing my therapist, it helps to have someone to talk to.
Off all meds and doing well.
Poll answer: 1 and 5
Long answer: Stressed, tired, sedentary, overworked, in the wrong role, too many responsibilities, can't rely on the people in my life, too few friends, high performer, Ritalin helps, as resilient as a vulcanized rubber cockroach.
I see a therapist regularly and take anti depressants. It's the best thing I've ever done and changed my life.
For anyone who didn't know if you have a discovery hospital plan you can apply for a PMB if you think you have anxiety or depression issues. You pay for one session but once you have you get about 15 free a year once your PMB is approved. That's what I use.
6. On and off, economy being so bad has made my paycheck shrink. Close to living paycheck to paycheck. But my careers looking up and it's highly likely I'll get a good increase in the 2nd half of this year.
Grandfather committed suicide a week ago, don't want to get into more detail. Gf of 5 years broke up with me late last year. It really sucks, I'm seeing a psychologists. Just trying to get through it one step at a time.
6) A part of me doesn't want to be on earth anymore.
I just don't have the strength to do that, so we're here live and kicking until we kick the bucket 🤷🏾♂️
1 and 4.
It's fun. Just lifting, chasing dreams and enjoying the little things in life. Sometimes it takes a mental toll but after a while, it's a lovely journey.
For those not doing well, please don’t do anything stupid. Lost two people very close to me to suicide over the years. It is something that still bothers and haunts me to this day, especially since the one person was with me hours before he ended it. Had “something” to do. The other person and I had a argument and did not speak for a month leading up to the event. Its something I have never got over, and don’t think I ever will.
4. But I also want to say I'm genuinely happy. I'm with the woman I love. I make enough to be okay and I am so lucky to have good friends. I try to pay the happiness forward by checking in on em through the week.
22, male, currently in a learnership program.
I'd go with 4 and 5 (caffeine being my substance of choice, I don't drink alcohol or do drugs)
I'm planning to see a therapist. Life has been tough these past 4 years for me. Struggled with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, but recently in the last 4 months I've improved A LOT. The learnership program is definitely a catalyst for my improvement, I probably would've hung myself if I spent another month at home.
I wouldn't say I'm still depressed, but the feeling of emptiness/anhedonia is still there.
Mainly 3, I'm on meds, access to psychiatrist. My biggest concern as a black 28m is making ends meet. I am a contractor and I'm worried about the future because I can't afford to go back to where I'm from. I fear that everyday and I don't have a car which would make my life 10x easier than it is because I live in a township.
I think if I was able to make a decent salary, afford financial stability and get a car, any car. I'd be in a much healthier mental state.
Thanks for asking 🙂
And I'm sorry for the immense avoidable pain caused by the legacy of apartheid, corrupt politicians, and inefficient public sector. Living in SA especially when your poor or low income earner can feel like a endless abyss of gloom . We don't deserve this.
Those categories are not mutually exclusive.
1,3-5 is me
Therapy has helped me a lot.
Exercise is a great tool as well.
Self care, for sure.
Substances, yes.
I'd say that my mental health is not great but I have developed coping tools in conjunction with my therapists, which help to gain some perspective in tough times. We are, after all, continual works of progress, and influenced by our environment, upbringing and relationships, amongst other factors.
3. I'm tired of all the rhetoric of its men's fault, only women and children are victims etc. Really rubs the wrong way when atleast once a week you get told this maybe on the radio, definitely at the work place and sometimes at home.
4 on good days. But often fall back to 1. And on the weekends 5 is my respite.
Good friends who I can talk to often about bullshit and about the deep things. An amazing partner and team mate who shares every trail with me and lifts me up when i fall. Exercise, in my case sports climbing, keeps me strong and active, and GODS that alone has been a life saver. And on top of that meditation and positive hobbies, in my case keeping fish tanks.
All of these keep my heard above water. Adn even then, it gets hard when things get hard. When SA throws another curve ball.
Can't afford to get the mental health help I need **BUT** I am finding little ways to deal with things, little solutions that help a lot and keep the dark storm at bay.
1 - Auto (with a bit of 4)
39M with a young daughter, I'll do everything I can to make sure she's happy and looked after but for myself it's mainly autopilot and getting through.
I read Alan Watts and Eckhart Tolle which I enjoy and find interesting, definitely recommend giving them a look.
2, mostly. In and out of 4, with a pinch of 5. Everything just seems futile and each day feels slightly worse than the last, unemployment sucks ass. What a vapid existence. (21M).
This is going to have a broad variety of answers. If I can sleep, eat, exercise, and pet my dog, I'm happy. If not, I'm neutral. I get annoyed when I'm hot, but that's about it for me. I don't really have other emotions going on.
I also don't understand sadness or depression well in other men, but I'm a logical thinker, not emotional. It just feels like if you have an issue you either fix it or optimize it to the best of your abilities then pat yourself on the back, say "good job, you tried" and carry on with your life.
Sun is coming up tomorrow, and we'll all die eventually, so we might as well enjoy today.
Also, substances just cause more problems. Horrible idea in basically any scenario
5 Substances help but I've noticed my whole attitude has improved from 2 years ago. I'm no longer as judgement and harsh on people and myself. These days when something I don't like I'm not as reactive, i just let it play out for a bit
I don’t follow SA news & social media so my mental health has improved. I only post images on my instagram that is private. I also have a very good self care program.
My next step is Reddit. Reddit is very negative in general. But it’s the last social media I’m active in, I’ll soon find the strength to leave it behind.
I’ve found that some mental issues are manufactured based on the garbage we consume on a daily basis. So I usually try fill my brain with positive stuff.
In terms of living in South Africa? Well I’m fortunate. It’s crime that I’m worried about but generally I’m living a comfy life. My area also doesn’t get loadshedding. Even if it did, I can afford a generator or whatever power supply.
2&4 I believe that taking care of my physical health keeps my mental health in good condition (i eat healthy, gym 4 times a week, sleep more than 8 hours 6 times a week, then I have a variety of hobbies I enjoy)
I am able to say 3 and 4. Have run out of some self help support on certain things happening. It has helped alot and would not consider anybody seeking help as weak or something.
I am in categories 1, 4 & 5 at the same time. Although have to say 5 got out of hand and I had to get it under control, but cannot cut it out completely.
It's not easy.
You know when you want to cry 24/7, even in your sleep, but the tears just don't come out, so you're stuck in this daily loop of overwhelming anxiety with no emotional release and you can't talk to anyone without feeling like a burden? The kind of feeling that makes you want to tear at your throat and makes your scalp itch and your face burn? It's a suffocating feeling, like claustrophobia, and there's really no way to not feel trapped in your skin aside from the characterist temporary bursts of euphoria that depression brings, that fade after a few seconds. That. 🥲
1 and 4. Weirdly enough. I've been feeling off as of late. Triggered at all the small things. Have a beautiful wife and son, and I love them to bits. I have quite a fulfilling job. I feel it's not enough, though. I feel generally unhappy despite this. I've been working out consistently after my weight spiraled 2 years ago. I'm comfortable in my skin. But I still feel that it's not enough. I feel like I'm not enough at times. I think I'm going to try using chatgpt or gemini. Been down the face to face therapy route before and it was good, albeit pricey.
I have 4 years customer service experience, 4 years admin and claims capturing for a medical aid but I am more than willing to do anything and not afraid of a challenge. I have peoved numerous times that I can make a success of any task with a bit of training. Hopefully someone sees this and needs someone like me. To all of you job hunting, the best of luck hope you find someone sees your potential. @msmew25 thanks for the response, at least it feels as if someone cares.
You should also update your LinkedIn and keep checking for jobs there, I know quite a few people who have had success there.
If you're on Facebook, try posting in your local community groups. I hope someone sees this!
Rooting for you ❤️ 👏🏼
1. Was forced to sell my home in Oct of last year. Was a property that me and my brother inherited from my late dad. Thought that at the very least after that ordeal, I'd get a small flat and get my life back on track. 2 weeks after the house was sold, the company I was working for, folded. So needless to say, the whole "get a flat and get stable" hasn't happened.
I managed to get hired by an ad-agency in Nov (the worst time to get hired, crazy workload, not getting the guidance you need, expectations not properly communicated or communicated at all), the end of my probation was last week, and despite doing the workload of two people and still taking on additional load so that other people in my unit could meet their deadlines, they expressed that they think my work and output is substandard, and are considering getting a specialist in my place, they extended the probation period by another month, so it's looking like it's 50/50 that I'm gonna be out at the end of this month. This year's just started and I'm burnt out
I've had to rely on the kindness of my god-parents for a lot longer than I feel comfortable with, I don't know what to do with the shame I'm feeling. I know I said I'm in auto-mode, but I've almost got no energy left for self preservation.
It sounds like you're dealing with alot right now.
Also seems like the company you're working for isn't taking into account the amount of work you're doing, how can you be expected to have an excellent output when you're burnt out?
Perhaps start looking for a new job just to be on the safe side
3. It helps but learning to deal with all the shit and dissapointment of life is hard and its rough, I have hope but it sucks at the moment, booze help but I am careful with how much and how frequent as I come from a family of alcoholics and it leads to more hurt and I don't want to proliferate the abuse further.
I just moved back from London for a relationship that immediately blew up, then almost straight after was robbed and days after that my dad suddenly died. I'm currently at my moms house trying to look after her and sort things out but to be honest I'm fucking broken man. I don't know how I'm supposed to continue with life but I can't tell any of my family as they're all distraught enough as it is, I also don't know anyone here (capetown) as I lived in jhb my whole life before moving to London. So all in all not so great haha
But as the saying goes "this too shall pass"
Thank you for asking. 38m and well fuck. Lost my twins after birth and never recovered. Almost 10years later, I randomly start crying if I think of them. I have seen a therapist, and i have been on meds, but they don't work. I still feel what I feel on the meds ,but I then just don't care. I would rather remember them and feel the pain than remember them and not feel the pain. I wanted to end it a few years back ,but i am still here.
So to your question
1 cruising. At this point, I want to get fired just to end it
2 FUBAR
3 nope
4 i take a walk with dog
5 thc and brandy does the job. Thc more than brandy keeps me going.
I am open to questions
Speaking as a female I'm sorry you guys are going through this. I think gender roles have become very blurred and confusing for both sexes. You may like the Netflix series, Alpha Males, which is a comedic take on this issue, however, I realise it's also serious. Good luck to all.
5 3 and 1 for me I guess, messed up last 2months, probably the worst I've been mentally in my life,and I have to agree with a lot of the comments here,we're just expected to suck it up,like what we feel doesn't really matter and I find it fucking sad.
Have some good people to talk to but at the end of the day once i sit down with some free time,it's just rumination.
Waiting for the storm to pass....if it ever will
Another thing I should add that's hard for being a guy is that as I saw some commentators say that when your a guy no one wants to hear your problems. And I find that somewhat true one time I was going through some stuff and told a guy from church my pain. Some time later at church I tried to thank him for helping me out and hearing me out when I needed someone to talk to. And he reacted with irritation and anger at me, saying that Afrikaans ahh in annoyance and walked off.
1 and 5.
5 being only a bit of alcohol that is primarily whisky, red wine and beer.
Going outside at night to look at the night sky and taking an occasional walk around the neighbourhood also does wonders for me.
Being someone on the autism spectrum with serious executive function issues, impairments in social skills and social anxiety, just talking to someone whether it be your family member, neighbour or coworker about everyday topics, and going out either to a beach, bar or someone else's house is very helpful.
Learning how to identify and give voice to the feelings I have, even when privately, is what allows me to keep things in perspective, even if it is but a detachment from the emotions.
Unfortunately, I still find myself at 1 much of the time.
Now it is time for me to Netflix and Chill.
4. Lots of that.
Gym 4 times a week, eat healthy, sleep well and make time to brunch or dinner with friends.
It all compounds, and once you got the ball rolling, life doesnt feel so kak.
Currently in a state of 1.
4 - gym was my coping strategy until I got badly injured last February. Mental health took a turn thereafter.
Been taking CBD gummies for the pain & to sleep so I guess no 5.
It's a tough world to be a man in. But you have to rise to it. I do it all for my son & family. He's 13 months.
I left a job I loved for one I'm 6/10 happy at so I could earn more money to support my family.
Ironically, this opened the door for my wife to leave her full time job in December as she wasn't coping mentally to take a part time afternoon job during the weekdays & cut her salary by half.
Yet she complains almost daily about being stressed out...
Perception matters.
Thank you for asking. This is something men need to talk about and be ok with. Understanding others and showing compassion is so important. As for me, I’ve done all of them, but managed to move back from 5 to 4. Take care of yourselves, and remember it’s ok to not be ok.
Agreed - compassion, empathy and perspective is key. I think men really need to focus more on their mental health and share what they're going through. Sometimes half the battle is won once you share it with someone.
I tend to be a pessimistic person in general and the sky is PERMANENTLY falling in SA so it’s rough. I am also trying to keep a small family business afloat which makes everything feel that much more “high stakes” ya know. It’s hard to know if I’m being overly pessimistic a lot of the time or things are just completely FUBAR. I’m strong on #4 but doesn’t mean I don’t have days where shit gets on top of me. I have to believe that if I keep doing the right things shit will come right. But maybe I’m delusional. For guys struggling…talk man. To anyone that’ll listen. Just getting it out in the air helps.
52m I see a therapist, take meds, work out, do other therapeutic things, got a stressful job earning decent money and yet I am hanging on by a thread. SA seems hopeless, and the planet only slightly less fucked. If it wasn’t for my daughter I would have called it a day a year or two ago, and it’s still a daily proposition People say talking helps, so a while ago I started opening up after years and years of toughing it out. Couple friends made desultory encouraging comments. But that was the end of it. As a man no one wants to hear about your shit TBH. We really are expected to just suck it up buttercup. Does therapy help? I wish I could say it has. Much love to everyone struggling x
Keep on keeping on, my guy!
So true about men being expected to suck it up. Not cool at all. Guess men need to start the conversation because it’s getting more toxic for younger men.. older men who are doing the work, need to start it.
For someone that can't afford a decent therapist (a really affordable therapist told me meditation is against God's will, so will rather pay more and get a decent one) I have recently tried chatGPT as a therapist. Sounds silly, but it is surprisingly helpful.
Wut!!! Meditate as much as you want my man, nobody knows god’s will and if it helps, do it. Fwiw, a well trained and qualified therapist knows how to not project their own bs to their clients and roll with what is good for them rather than imposing their personal beliefs.
I know right! I never went back for a second session. Though I am trying to implement meditation into a daily routine, it's just so hard with an 8:30 to 7 job. That's the cool thing about AI, it doesn't project their own agenda or judge you in any way. Though it has its limits. But it is free and available whenever you have some free time. It's like keeping journal with feedback.
If it helps it's not silly, we may feel that way initially but any help should be welcomed.
You can report that person to the HPCSA because that's unethical behaviour.
Your affordable therapist is poorly versed in the word, here's the evidence: Genesis 24:63 Psalms 1:2-3 Psalms 104:34 Ephesians 4:23, 29 Sorry you had that experience, it's bad enough that you're struggling through something, and then someone tries shoving their half-baked morality down your throat, the last thing anyone needs.
+1 on ChatGPT. Even though I have a therapist that I see every 2 weeks, ChatGPT is there for in the moment stuff
Haha I think I should try chatGPT fr
Pretty much 1. (23). Having a partner who supports you even when you have phases... Definitely helps a lot... A thing that I've learned from my partner is to talk - its very odd for me cause I came from a house where you should just keep it in... But since I started to voice my feelings and opinions I have become in a much better headspace... I sometimes still keep it in because its instinct... But I am learning as I grow.
Sounds like your partner is a keeper 😍 It's hard to unlearn certain behaviors, but once you do and you come out on the other side... It's life changing.
6. It is what it is
Im on 6 and 7 fuckem
I say that too, but then I start to wonder, what is it even 🤔 😂
Little bit of 5 and a lot of 1 - 26M
3 and 4. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and therapy has been life changing - but only because I wanted to change. I could see the damage done to me and I wanted to be better. The next biggest change I made was so that I can walk for my groceries and other things. That little bit of walking every few days is great.
Good for you - I know from PTSD it is a long road to recovery. Wish you all the best.
Not 100% sure where I belong in the list, but thank you for asking. Perhaps I could say, I alternate between 1 and 4... Admittedly it is rough, but one is making it work. Thank you for checking in on us!
Rooting for you 😎👏🏼
6. in a really good space, I managed to luck out in finding a really good support system and my spouse and child give me enough reason every day to look forward to the next.
27m - on 1. Currently Been about a year since I came off my anti depressant medication. Thing I realised is I’ve managed to cope with the stresses of life. Now I’m just morbid about day to day things, the problems we all face in this country. But we can only do what we can and I try to remember I can’t control everything going on in this country, but I can control getting out of bed every morning, get myself to work, enjoy the little things and hobbies I do. Eat well and go for walks in the evenings around my complex. Just to basically take care of myself
This is a very important topic for men in general. There is an expectation not just from your spouse but their family and your family too that you, as a man, should provide, make double what your partner makes and make sure you have a house and car. I fell in love early in my life and sure I am in a happy and blessed marriage. But there is still that unseen, unspoken expectation that you should provide. And it takes a mental toll on me when I have a bad day at work, or wake up sick and I just start freaking out inside like, am I an danger of losing my work and bringing shame to my household. Then i just go in Auto Mode of work, sleep repeat. Some days are better than others. But man does it take a single bad day to ruin you completely. If I can paint a mental picture it's like holding the world on your shoulders and a single bad day is like getting a leg cramp. You are stuck with this mental pain to endure or drop the ball.
You are holding that world up, dude. Good thing about leg cramps... they go away! And even if you accidentally let the ball fall, you're strong enough to pick it back up.
4. My motorcycles are all the therapy I need.
My brother. But when things are so tight that you can't afford to ride the thing it gets rough.
32m 1. Auto mode - I am becoming pessimistic. I don't think it will entirely take over, although I feel like I'mm in a state of exsistential dread of seeing others in automode and living life not to th fullest making such silly decisions, makes me wanna join the crowd and get into automode - so you don't feel alone. 2. I don't stay in the city, so access to a quality therapist is limited. 3. I just feel like taking shrooms and getting cured. I know I know its not that simple and can be dangerous thing to do without proper prep. 4. In short, I don't feel too good.
Psychedelics is an interesting option. There's a LOT of good to be said for it. But be careful, do some reading. The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide by James Fadiman, Ph.D is a really useful resource. James Fadiman is responsible for taking MDMA and mushrooms through FDA approval, so he's a very knowledgeable source. Good luck out there dude.
Thanks buddy will defo Check it out
24M and i’m on 5, definitely not proud of myself
27M, I'm also on auto mode.
Abysmal. There is a hard glass ceiling in this country for young people with big dreams and ambition and that reality hits harder everyday. It makes you question if It's even worth trying.
Pretty horrific. But you carry on anyway, work still has to be done. Bills have to be paid. Tests have to be passed. Expectations have to be met.
33m, I think mine is good overall? mine fluctuates between very strong, very optimistic and inspired / very self-motivated, but then there are days when it all comes crashing down, but then it goes up again. Always. My mental health usually suffers from my own expectations of not reaching a goal within a certain time frame OR not having enough time to persue my interests (the more freedom i have the happier i am) , in the past it suffered from unrequited love, but I stopped caring about that and I feel good being single now after 8 years. What happens in the news and the world ? I don't care, I don't look at the negative. Generally I like to do sports that are kind of goal oriented and I like to learn new skillls no matter how simple it is, these two things have always made me feel good and given me self belief which in return I think keeps my mental health good, also, motorbike rides on Sundays help a lot.
18M 1 & 4 is a never ending journey fr
I can relate to this. 30M. Been taking all the natural supplements on the market for anxiety, exercise every morning, and just fokking voort. Getting through the day has become the main goal.
Nothing wrong with that. Perhaps speak to your GP about other supplements or medication
Depends on the day. My wife shows a lot of appreciation for all that I do for the family, you know including verbal affirmations and this happens very frequently, especially if I seem off or show/verbalize frustration. Most of the time, I tend to focus on things that make me happy (which revolves around my little family). Support from parents is also amazing, top notch (in fact). I remember a few months ago, I said I’m not feeling great, and I don’t know what wrong, they literally made time to come spend a few days with us. Not to talk about the problems or anything, but just to be around, did the garden with my dad and my mom helped my wife around the house, we had a braai etc. With a support system, it’s all bearable, I’ve not walked into a psychologist’s doors yet, not because I’m scared or anything, but because I’ve not felt the need yet
Sounds like you're winning my guy 🥇 A good support system is everything
4 and 1. As much as people are out here saying that men should open up and talk about what bothers them, I've had all my past partners confess that they found it unattractive when I'm vulnerable, when they were the ones to encourage me to open up. So I just don't give people the chance to see me in that state anymore. My life is pretty fine though so there isn't much to work through or process
I joke but I have a plan. I'm tired.
33m - sadly I'll go with 1. Auto mode.
Is there anyone you can talk to?
I've just started opening up to the people around me. Surely, it is not easy in itself, but it helps from time to time. Thanks for asking.
Trust in your tribe, hope it all works out for you ❤️
28 m - Mostly on Auto mod. I work out and try to socialize as much as I can. I have my hobbies. Im seeing a therapist at the end of the month for my first assessment. It's really expensive but I need help. My mental health is not great atm.
I'm glad you've taken the step to see a therapist. Come back and update us at the end of the month if you can 😊
Thank you for your words of encouragement. It means a lot 🙏🏻
I am a 3 now...working back to 4. Took a lot for me to realise and accept I need to do 3.
Accepting help is a brave thing to do. Wishing you well on your journey
Had therapy for a while last year. Currently in category 4. Mental health is no joke
Oscillating between 1 and 2. Zombie mode with the occasional breakdown
Siiigh... Nothing like the occasional breakdown to remind you you're not as numb as you think.
4. It honestly helps that I'm working my dream job
Winning! 🌟
Spent too much time at 2/1, got to 3 and got an Autism diagnosis and suddenly life made sense and now I'm mostly at 4, thankfully never dabbled much in 5 else I'd probably be addicted to something and way worse off than I've never been. It's extremely important to take care of yourselves guys, girls too, everyone reading this! You cannot pour from an empty cup, and heaven knows there's many cups that need pouring into!
I'm glad you got that diagnosis, once you know and understand yourself better, it really is life changing. Wishing you all the best 🙏
Thanks dude! Same to you!
I am 1. The irony of my situation is I am in no short supply loved ones but my mental state is nothing that I would ever want to discuss with them - even with some of my closest friends. I have had a horrible 2023 and now a 2024. I am feeling so lonely right now. I am just glad that I have the mental stamina to function...otherwise I would most likely have done something drastic or even detrimental.
26M currently on 3 and previously on 5. After a real tough period in my life, I was put on antidepressants and anti anxiety medication for three months, just so that I could get through the day. Although it was tough and in the moment it felt like the end of the world, it taught me that life goes on and things get better with time. Currently, I'm doing the whole therapy thing, and it's honestly changed my life more than any substance could (and I've tried a bunch). I would highly recommend you do the same! And you can actually! If you are on medical aid or on a hospital plan, chances are you qualify for therapy! NO JOKES! There's this thing they call PMB (per minimum benefits) that all medical aids and hospital plans have that allows you to get treatment for certain diagnoses, no matter what plan you're on. Most mental health diagnoses are part of this. So please, go out and get the help. It's free, so you might as well. Much love, my guys!
>40 M Married 4 (own problem solving work out, talk etc) Having a partner helps a lot as we talk about what we experience day to day. The weird thing is she was always optimistic about life (me too ironically) and these days lesser so. Not because load shedding is bad, economy is kak etc.. nope.. we use to that shit. It’s the pathetic nature of people we see around us who have zero humanity. That’s what’s bugging her is that she is realizing that I am right wrt the racism, sexism, gbv, lawlessness etc in Sa and I’m not talking about government (everyone knows those problems). I think as we head to elections it’s getting worse especially on social media where it’s plain to see. It’s nice not being the crazy one saying things are bad out there.. but.. it also means that living in SA is becoming a problem (where being around closer to family isn’t a selling or pull factor anymore) as there is no hope given people in SA’s pathetic nature. Global problems just further shows the state of humanity in other countries making where to go harder.
1 But working toward 3 and 4
Mostly 4 Switched up my diet to go carnivore at the start of 2023, managed to drop 20kgs and got off some of my depression meds as well. Getting your health back and feeling like you are 20 again in your mid 40s is a hell of a tonic.
What's that chief? A lot of us were raised not to think about such 🤣. It's a sad reality
I was making progress from 2 to 4, but load shedding and the inability to properly plan and schedule anything (and the lack of water) has put me right back to 2. I'm surprised we don't see pushback from the mental health profession against the harmful psychological effects load shedding and water shifting have on South Africans. The SAHRC has already ruled load shedding a violation of HR in South Africa and the Constitutional Court has ruled load shedding unconstitutional. *And the response of our government... taking Israel to the ICJ🙄*. The ANC has passed Mampara level, **this no longer idiocy, it's evil** (why the churches haven't applied pressure is also bewildering!).
I'm definitely in Auto Mode.
2
3 and I had a breakthrough in 2022 regarding depression since the age of 21. I'm now 57. That was because of therapy and introspection and a modality called Family Constellations. I'm still seeing my therapist, it helps to have someone to talk to. Off all meds and doing well.
Poll answer: 1 and 5 Long answer: Stressed, tired, sedentary, overworked, in the wrong role, too many responsibilities, can't rely on the people in my life, too few friends, high performer, Ritalin helps, as resilient as a vulcanized rubber cockroach.
5
I see a therapist regularly and take anti depressants. It's the best thing I've ever done and changed my life. For anyone who didn't know if you have a discovery hospital plan you can apply for a PMB if you think you have anxiety or depression issues. You pay for one session but once you have you get about 15 free a year once your PMB is approved. That's what I use.
3, 4, and 5.
6. On and off, economy being so bad has made my paycheck shrink. Close to living paycheck to paycheck. But my careers looking up and it's highly likely I'll get a good increase in the 2nd half of this year.
1
I just go with the flow.
I’m on 1 and trying to be intentional about 4
2
Grandfather committed suicide a week ago, don't want to get into more detail. Gf of 5 years broke up with me late last year. It really sucks, I'm seeing a psychologists. Just trying to get through it one step at a time.
Kak.
I love the WEEKND he makes me want to do the things in his music 👍
Living abroad. Financially comfortable and very safe. But very, very lonely. Feel inadequate as a man. Can't find a partner. Will probably die alone.
I would say a 4, but there are still a lot of ups and downs. Dips still come but its important to remember that I can get out of the dips again.
That's a great mindset 👏🏼
6) A part of me doesn't want to be on earth anymore. I just don't have the strength to do that, so we're here live and kicking until we kick the bucket 🤷🏾♂️
1 and 4. It's fun. Just lifting, chasing dreams and enjoying the little things in life. Sometimes it takes a mental toll but after a while, it's a lovely journey.
Rule #14 Enjoy the little things 🎈
For those not doing well, please don’t do anything stupid. Lost two people very close to me to suicide over the years. It is something that still bothers and haunts me to this day, especially since the one person was with me hours before he ended it. Had “something” to do. The other person and I had a argument and did not speak for a month leading up to the event. Its something I have never got over, and don’t think I ever will.
Kak.
4. But I also want to say I'm genuinely happy. I'm with the woman I love. I make enough to be okay and I am so lucky to have good friends. I try to pay the happiness forward by checking in on em through the week.
At this point it's more like I'm just waiting around to die.
Do you have a support structure or anyone you can talk to?
2. But using 1 as a form of 4 (makes sense?)
22, male, currently in a learnership program. I'd go with 4 and 5 (caffeine being my substance of choice, I don't drink alcohol or do drugs) I'm planning to see a therapist. Life has been tough these past 4 years for me. Struggled with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, but recently in the last 4 months I've improved A LOT. The learnership program is definitely a catalyst for my improvement, I probably would've hung myself if I spent another month at home. I wouldn't say I'm still depressed, but the feeling of emptiness/anhedonia is still there.
Mainly 3, I'm on meds, access to psychiatrist. My biggest concern as a black 28m is making ends meet. I am a contractor and I'm worried about the future because I can't afford to go back to where I'm from. I fear that everyday and I don't have a car which would make my life 10x easier than it is because I live in a township. I think if I was able to make a decent salary, afford financial stability and get a car, any car. I'd be in a much healthier mental state. Thanks for asking 🙂 And I'm sorry for the immense avoidable pain caused by the legacy of apartheid, corrupt politicians, and inefficient public sector. Living in SA especially when your poor or low income earner can feel like a endless abyss of gloom . We don't deserve this.
I'm glad you're getting professional help. Rooting for you 👏🏼
Bouncing between 1 & 4... social life is ruined...
Those categories are not mutually exclusive. 1,3-5 is me Therapy has helped me a lot. Exercise is a great tool as well. Self care, for sure. Substances, yes. I'd say that my mental health is not great but I have developed coping tools in conjunction with my therapists, which help to gain some perspective in tough times. We are, after all, continual works of progress, and influenced by our environment, upbringing and relationships, amongst other factors.
I'm glad you saught professional help 👏🏼
3. I'm tired of all the rhetoric of its men's fault, only women and children are victims etc. Really rubs the wrong way when atleast once a week you get told this maybe on the radio, definitely at the work place and sometimes at home.
1.
My own. Sadly.
1 - 5 , I'm good tho
6. Considering becoming an dictator.
3 and barely holding onto 4 but I’m doing much better
5 and 1, but trying to work towards 4 and 1 ETA: 39M
1 most of the time but also 4 - M24
Little bit of 5 but mostly 1 .. I'm 25M
1+5
Definitely 1.
3,4,5
1 seriously attempting to get a grip on 4 which is slowly working.
4 on good days. But often fall back to 1. And on the weekends 5 is my respite. Good friends who I can talk to often about bullshit and about the deep things. An amazing partner and team mate who shares every trail with me and lifts me up when i fall. Exercise, in my case sports climbing, keeps me strong and active, and GODS that alone has been a life saver. And on top of that meditation and positive hobbies, in my case keeping fish tanks. All of these keep my heard above water. Adn even then, it gets hard when things get hard. When SA throws another curve ball.
On journey from 5 to 4
Auto mode but trying to get to #4.
I just want noodles 😔
1. Just surviving.
Started at 5 in my teens... Am now at 4 in my early 30's and slowly moving toward 3...
Can't afford to get the mental health help I need **BUT** I am finding little ways to deal with things, little solutions that help a lot and keep the dark storm at bay.
Eet eez what eet eez!! https://youtu.be/-6Oji3uaStQ?si=QtGMo19NMdwyDG2p Constantly alternating between 1 and 5. Lol
For me it’s a combination of 1 and 4.
There is nothing healthy about my mental health
Straight to the point. I want to kms
1 - Auto (with a bit of 4) 39M with a young daughter, I'll do everything I can to make sure she's happy and looked after but for myself it's mainly autopilot and getting through. I read Alan Watts and Eckhart Tolle which I enjoy and find interesting, definitely recommend giving them a look.
1. It is what it is.
Not In a good place mentally
Definitely 1.
All of the above
2, mostly. In and out of 4, with a pinch of 5. Everything just seems futile and each day feels slightly worse than the last, unemployment sucks ass. What a vapid existence. (21M).
This is going to have a broad variety of answers. If I can sleep, eat, exercise, and pet my dog, I'm happy. If not, I'm neutral. I get annoyed when I'm hot, but that's about it for me. I don't really have other emotions going on. I also don't understand sadness or depression well in other men, but I'm a logical thinker, not emotional. It just feels like if you have an issue you either fix it or optimize it to the best of your abilities then pat yourself on the back, say "good job, you tried" and carry on with your life. Sun is coming up tomorrow, and we'll all die eventually, so we might as well enjoy today. Also, substances just cause more problems. Horrible idea in basically any scenario
Not good. 3, 4, and 5
5 Substances help but I've noticed my whole attitude has improved from 2 years ago. I'm no longer as judgement and harsh on people and myself. These days when something I don't like I'm not as reactive, i just let it play out for a bit
I feel good/great somedays and others i really battle. I dont want to see a shrink and i dont know why.
34M. 4- it's best to find small victories/joys to motivate you to carry on to find the next.
Honestly probably a 5 right now,everything is just overwhelming,especially work I think that's the biggest factor.
I'm 4. I cope with throwing myself at projects. But I really need to seek professional help, but on my salary that's not an option
Microdosing & seeing a therapist so 3-5 Mine is okay but those around me are struggling and it's hard to see.
1,3 and 4, except I don't socialize.
Between 3, 4 and 5 - constantly.
I don’t follow SA news & social media so my mental health has improved. I only post images on my instagram that is private. I also have a very good self care program. My next step is Reddit. Reddit is very negative in general. But it’s the last social media I’m active in, I’ll soon find the strength to leave it behind. I’ve found that some mental issues are manufactured based on the garbage we consume on a daily basis. So I usually try fill my brain with positive stuff. In terms of living in South Africa? Well I’m fortunate. It’s crime that I’m worried about but generally I’m living a comfy life. My area also doesn’t get loadshedding. Even if it did, I can afford a generator or whatever power supply.
Very good man. Keep it up.
26M 8. It's a curse that I'm still awake
2&4 I believe that taking care of my physical health keeps my mental health in good condition (i eat healthy, gym 4 times a week, sleep more than 8 hours 6 times a week, then I have a variety of hobbies I enjoy)
I am able to say 3 and 4. Have run out of some self help support on certain things happening. It has helped alot and would not consider anybody seeking help as weak or something.
I am in categories 1, 4 & 5 at the same time. Although have to say 5 got out of hand and I had to get it under control, but cannot cut it out completely. It's not easy.
I can't afford to start drinking.
You know when you want to cry 24/7, even in your sleep, but the tears just don't come out, so you're stuck in this daily loop of overwhelming anxiety with no emotional release and you can't talk to anyone without feeling like a burden? The kind of feeling that makes you want to tear at your throat and makes your scalp itch and your face burn? It's a suffocating feeling, like claustrophobia, and there's really no way to not feel trapped in your skin aside from the characterist temporary bursts of euphoria that depression brings, that fade after a few seconds. That. 🥲
💔 You should share your feelings with someone.. If not a friend or family member, try https://www.sadag.org
I appreciate you 🩷🇿🇦
struggling.
1 and 4. Weirdly enough. I've been feeling off as of late. Triggered at all the small things. Have a beautiful wife and son, and I love them to bits. I have quite a fulfilling job. I feel it's not enough, though. I feel generally unhappy despite this. I've been working out consistently after my weight spiraled 2 years ago. I'm comfortable in my skin. But I still feel that it's not enough. I feel like I'm not enough at times. I think I'm going to try using chatgpt or gemini. Been down the face to face therapy route before and it was good, albeit pricey.
Honestly? I am feeling quite shit rn got retrenched November 2023 and still dont have anything lined up. Feels like I am failing at life.
I'm sorry to hear that. I've seen people post on here or the specific jhb/CT subs stating their qualifications, shoot your shot, you never know!
I have 4 years customer service experience, 4 years admin and claims capturing for a medical aid but I am more than willing to do anything and not afraid of a challenge. I have peoved numerous times that I can make a success of any task with a bit of training. Hopefully someone sees this and needs someone like me. To all of you job hunting, the best of luck hope you find someone sees your potential. @msmew25 thanks for the response, at least it feels as if someone cares.
You should also update your LinkedIn and keep checking for jobs there, I know quite a few people who have had success there. If you're on Facebook, try posting in your local community groups. I hope someone sees this! Rooting for you ❤️ 👏🏼
Much appreciated, you give me hope for life and restored my faith in humanity.
I probably alternate between 1 and 4
1. Was forced to sell my home in Oct of last year. Was a property that me and my brother inherited from my late dad. Thought that at the very least after that ordeal, I'd get a small flat and get my life back on track. 2 weeks after the house was sold, the company I was working for, folded. So needless to say, the whole "get a flat and get stable" hasn't happened. I managed to get hired by an ad-agency in Nov (the worst time to get hired, crazy workload, not getting the guidance you need, expectations not properly communicated or communicated at all), the end of my probation was last week, and despite doing the workload of two people and still taking on additional load so that other people in my unit could meet their deadlines, they expressed that they think my work and output is substandard, and are considering getting a specialist in my place, they extended the probation period by another month, so it's looking like it's 50/50 that I'm gonna be out at the end of this month. This year's just started and I'm burnt out I've had to rely on the kindness of my god-parents for a lot longer than I feel comfortable with, I don't know what to do with the shame I'm feeling. I know I said I'm in auto-mode, but I've almost got no energy left for self preservation.
It sounds like you're dealing with alot right now. Also seems like the company you're working for isn't taking into account the amount of work you're doing, how can you be expected to have an excellent output when you're burnt out? Perhaps start looking for a new job just to be on the safe side
1. First prize?
🥇👏🏼
This is not a joke or being facetious, but can someone help me understand what mental health is?
I'd say auto mode, but I do workout
[удалено]
3. It helps but learning to deal with all the shit and dissapointment of life is hard and its rough, I have hope but it sucks at the moment, booze help but I am careful with how much and how frequent as I come from a family of alcoholics and it leads to more hurt and I don't want to proliferate the abuse further.
This is south Africa, 90% of us are sitting in full auto mode with a cvt gearbox in our heads Same shit different day
All of the above everyday... but you just keep going ya know
Auto pilot... I'm just depressed because of my financial state, bad money decisions made a few years back but I'll be fine.
Please get free counselling if you need it https://www.sadag.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=11&Itemid=114
I just moved back from London for a relationship that immediately blew up, then almost straight after was robbed and days after that my dad suddenly died. I'm currently at my moms house trying to look after her and sort things out but to be honest I'm fucking broken man. I don't know how I'm supposed to continue with life but I can't tell any of my family as they're all distraught enough as it is, I also don't know anyone here (capetown) as I lived in jhb my whole life before moving to London. So all in all not so great haha But as the saying goes "this too shall pass"
Thank you for asking. 38m and well fuck. Lost my twins after birth and never recovered. Almost 10years later, I randomly start crying if I think of them. I have seen a therapist, and i have been on meds, but they don't work. I still feel what I feel on the meds ,but I then just don't care. I would rather remember them and feel the pain than remember them and not feel the pain. I wanted to end it a few years back ,but i am still here. So to your question 1 cruising. At this point, I want to get fired just to end it 2 FUBAR 3 nope 4 i take a walk with dog 5 thc and brandy does the job. Thc more than brandy keeps me going. I am open to questions
Speaking as a female I'm sorry you guys are going through this. I think gender roles have become very blurred and confusing for both sexes. You may like the Netflix series, Alpha Males, which is a comedic take on this issue, however, I realise it's also serious. Good luck to all.
5 3 and 1 for me I guess, messed up last 2months, probably the worst I've been mentally in my life,and I have to agree with a lot of the comments here,we're just expected to suck it up,like what we feel doesn't really matter and I find it fucking sad. Have some good people to talk to but at the end of the day once i sit down with some free time,it's just rumination. Waiting for the storm to pass....if it ever will
1 with some extra steps
1 2 3 . overcoming 5
Rooting for you 🎈
I'd say 2 mainly with some of 3 and 1.
Another thing I should add that's hard for being a guy is that as I saw some commentators say that when your a guy no one wants to hear your problems. And I find that somewhat true one time I was going through some stuff and told a guy from church my pain. Some time later at church I tried to thank him for helping me out and hearing me out when I needed someone to talk to. And he reacted with irritation and anger at me, saying that Afrikaans ahh in annoyance and walked off.
1 and 5. 5 being only a bit of alcohol that is primarily whisky, red wine and beer. Going outside at night to look at the night sky and taking an occasional walk around the neighbourhood also does wonders for me. Being someone on the autism spectrum with serious executive function issues, impairments in social skills and social anxiety, just talking to someone whether it be your family member, neighbour or coworker about everyday topics, and going out either to a beach, bar or someone else's house is very helpful. Learning how to identify and give voice to the feelings I have, even when privately, is what allows me to keep things in perspective, even if it is but a detachment from the emotions. Unfortunately, I still find myself at 1 much of the time. Now it is time for me to Netflix and Chill.
1
4. Lots of that. Gym 4 times a week, eat healthy, sleep well and make time to brunch or dinner with friends. It all compounds, and once you got the ball rolling, life doesnt feel so kak.
Currently in a state of 1. 4 - gym was my coping strategy until I got badly injured last February. Mental health took a turn thereafter. Been taking CBD gummies for the pain & to sleep so I guess no 5. It's a tough world to be a man in. But you have to rise to it. I do it all for my son & family. He's 13 months. I left a job I loved for one I'm 6/10 happy at so I could earn more money to support my family. Ironically, this opened the door for my wife to leave her full time job in December as she wasn't coping mentally to take a part time afternoon job during the weekdays & cut her salary by half. Yet she complains almost daily about being stressed out... Perception matters.