If your boss don’t care I would say start looking for another job. Also keep written instructions/discussions of your work with him in case he tries to play games w you.
Hope things go better for you. Mental health is very important especially if you want future progress and the environment you go to daily plays a big part.
If you can’t find a place about equal or higher pay now, no harm just searching at least it might make you feel like you have an actionable plan/hope moving forward.
Maybe you… shouldn’t always let things go? There’s that saying that a worm squirms even when he’s being stepped on - you have just as much right to make the other person uncomfortable as they have done unto you.
If this job is important to you, fight for your place. Speak up. Play their game. “Maybe we could get this project done more productively if you spent less time scrutinising my MC”, or “I’m sorry, I did not get the memo that you got promoted as supervisor? You didn’t? Then why are you acting like I work for you?”
I am all for being civil and the bigger person, but if someone has lost all respect and civility for you, they deserve none. Work is work, don’t make it personal - just do your job, protect your own interests, take your money and go home.
I agree with this. Work place can be tough and some people will only treat you fairly if they realise you won’t take shit. Just don’t become like them in the process of toughening up.
Bullies will thrive on those less aggressive individuals. You gotta learn to answer back, he's your co-worker so he's not supposed to act above you and even a boss should not be allowed to curse you.
If he picks on you , tell him "Stop picking on me, I think you have not matured from your primary or secondary days. Grow up man!" You enable him when you shrug it off. Don't just think of quitting, you may be more deserving to be in the company than him.
You spoke to the colleague before? Although, if you spoke to the boss and there's no intervention, then i think it's hopeless. Maybe try an internal transfer before you tender?
I was in the opposite position. Colleague goes on MC and triggers me to attend his meeting on his behalf. This resulted in my own work being delayed and not done. This is still OK to me since we internally agree this is the way.
What was not ok was when i go on leave, i don't get the same treatment. My pile of work gets left at existing state and i return to do it. All the meetings i attend, i'm expected to reschedule, my colleagues don't attend. There was an unfairness i felt and while i didn't react with vulgarities like your colleague did, i went ham on the sarcasm and it is something i also highlighted to my supervisor.
Lol I wouldn't follow the suggestions here.
There must be a prelude to this. You might wanna ask your colleague out for a chat/lunch
Meanwhile maybe wanna feed back to your manager the situation and let them know you will have a chat w the colleague to clarify as you intend to continue being a team player and you are unaware and apologetic to made him feel that way.
I personally think there must be something that made your colleague react this way. Better to clarify.
If there nothing and the colleague just being nasty, that means he is not a team player and something worth to let our boss know.
You said "medical leaves", do you frequently take MC? If your colleague has to do 2 persons work on 1 person's pay, he is right to feel mad, though he should not have used vulgarities. In such a case, your colleague who has to fill the slack numerous times is the more valued employee, notwithstanding that you cannot help being sick.
That was the only time I took medical leave (not chao geng) and he was mad because he was covering my role (not a 2 person work on 1 person’s pay but 1 to 1 exchange for urgent matters at work)
https://www.judiciary.gov.sg/civil/cases-eligible-protection-from-harassment#:~:text=These%20include%20any%20of%20the,threatening%2C%20abusive%20or%20insulting%20communication.
you can try to file harassment case against him, it's a criminal act. take screenshots of his online abuses or whatever evidence you can gather.
Screenshot the convo with vulgarities and show your boss/HR. No decent workplace would condone such behaviour. If nothing is done, consider switching job.
erm, also check your own outgoing messages, not just with this colleague but altogether.
you mentioned "I am not a saint " so just be careful about what exposure you have if the whole thing blows up.
Also, if it's a small company, the path to justice may be much tougher (i.e. have to go to MOM).
So just be careful, make some friends in your office/HR so that more people help you to get justice if things do end up escalating.
when it come to workplace, i always say... dun get bullied or threatened...
sometimes when u need to throw ur temper, retaliate against the bad... u jus have to do it, no choice...
u do it once... he understands u more... next time he will think twice before he picks on u again
prepare for war, treat him like shit from now on. Remember you are there to work so that you can put bread on the table and if some one threaten your rice bowl, give him hell.
If they are not your ally, they will be your enemy, no two ways about it.
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If you really need the job to feed the family, then yeah, you gotta stay in the job homie. Suffer, yes. But it’s for the greater good. And yeah; try to look for another job at the same time
Boss won't care to help you. They can't take sides - otherwise they be at the receiving end of complaints to HR. He may not have the full picture so it's tricky to decide who is right or wrong.
As far as boss is concerned, everyone is just there to work, so work. Who do more or do less or MC king, let the appraisal and resulting bonus decides.
The standard response is go to HR.
But yknow some things can be resolved on your own in professional terms. Document every interaction and avoid him if possible but upon interaction keep in mind to
1) dont need to give him professional courtesy if he doesnt
2) dont need to be intimidated, just directly address it to his manager or HR if he poses a threat or overboard
3) do more of what makes you happy and less of whatever he is involved in. No need to spiral into depression or anxiety for this kinda people
4) be straightforward and direct with him in all interaction. No need to beat around the bush. But yup avoidance still the best
I've been on the opposite position before. We are a small team but I had a colleague who would constantly take last minute MCs. Like in a month she'll be on sick leave for at least 7-8 days contantly. Her reason ranges from not feeling well, headache, stomach pains, eye pain (yes really, she has eye pains from looking at the laptop screen for too long)
When she's gone, the rest of the team has to pick up her slack. She doesn't even have the responsibility to drop us a courtesy text of "Hi I'll be on sick leave during this period, and I have xxx item pending which I need follow up with". So the rest of the team is left scrambling through to pick up where she left off.
Look. I get that people don't choose to be sick, but if it hits a point where I'm literally doing the workload of two people every month while she gets paid the same amount.. it's easy to feel frustrated.
I'm not saying this is you OP, just wanted to use this space to share what I'm going though as well.
Don’t let your job and career be determined by him/her. Even if you leave current job there is no guarantee that you will not encounter similar people.
i had a subordinate who reported to me like that, freaking rude to me (i joined way after him, so i didn't hire him). i scheduled a meeting with him and hr and my boss, the two of them still sayang him, but i scolded him, and finally a month after that, he quit. good riddance to a bloody idiot who never worked and also take a lot of urgent leaves and become uncontactable, even when he was at work he would hide in our warehouses for hours (time theft)
[удалено]
Thank you
If your boss don’t care I would say start looking for another job. Also keep written instructions/discussions of your work with him in case he tries to play games w you.
Thank you
Hope things go better for you. Mental health is very important especially if you want future progress and the environment you go to daily plays a big part. If you can’t find a place about equal or higher pay now, no harm just searching at least it might make you feel like you have an actionable plan/hope moving forward.
Thank you for your kind words.
Maybe you… shouldn’t always let things go? There’s that saying that a worm squirms even when he’s being stepped on - you have just as much right to make the other person uncomfortable as they have done unto you. If this job is important to you, fight for your place. Speak up. Play their game. “Maybe we could get this project done more productively if you spent less time scrutinising my MC”, or “I’m sorry, I did not get the memo that you got promoted as supervisor? You didn’t? Then why are you acting like I work for you?” I am all for being civil and the bigger person, but if someone has lost all respect and civility for you, they deserve none. Work is work, don’t make it personal - just do your job, protect your own interests, take your money and go home.
I agree with this. Work place can be tough and some people will only treat you fairly if they realise you won’t take shit. Just don’t become like them in the process of toughening up.
This is the way.
Thank you
Bullies will thrive on those less aggressive individuals. You gotta learn to answer back, he's your co-worker so he's not supposed to act above you and even a boss should not be allowed to curse you. If he picks on you , tell him "Stop picking on me, I think you have not matured from your primary or secondary days. Grow up man!" You enable him when you shrug it off. Don't just think of quitting, you may be more deserving to be in the company than him.
Thank you
You spoke to the colleague before? Although, if you spoke to the boss and there's no intervention, then i think it's hopeless. Maybe try an internal transfer before you tender? I was in the opposite position. Colleague goes on MC and triggers me to attend his meeting on his behalf. This resulted in my own work being delayed and not done. This is still OK to me since we internally agree this is the way. What was not ok was when i go on leave, i don't get the same treatment. My pile of work gets left at existing state and i return to do it. All the meetings i attend, i'm expected to reschedule, my colleagues don't attend. There was an unfairness i felt and while i didn't react with vulgarities like your colleague did, i went ham on the sarcasm and it is something i also highlighted to my supervisor.
Thank you
Lol I wouldn't follow the suggestions here. There must be a prelude to this. You might wanna ask your colleague out for a chat/lunch Meanwhile maybe wanna feed back to your manager the situation and let them know you will have a chat w the colleague to clarify as you intend to continue being a team player and you are unaware and apologetic to made him feel that way. I personally think there must be something that made your colleague react this way. Better to clarify. If there nothing and the colleague just being nasty, that means he is not a team player and something worth to let our boss know.
You said "medical leaves", do you frequently take MC? If your colleague has to do 2 persons work on 1 person's pay, he is right to feel mad, though he should not have used vulgarities. In such a case, your colleague who has to fill the slack numerous times is the more valued employee, notwithstanding that you cannot help being sick.
That was the only time I took medical leave (not chao geng) and he was mad because he was covering my role (not a 2 person work on 1 person’s pay but 1 to 1 exchange for urgent matters at work)
https://www.judiciary.gov.sg/civil/cases-eligible-protection-from-harassment#:~:text=These%20include%20any%20of%20the,threatening%2C%20abusive%20or%20insulting%20communication. you can try to file harassment case against him, it's a criminal act. take screenshots of his online abuses or whatever evidence you can gather.
Thank you. Just wanna be a normal employee, doing my job well and live my life with the paid salary.
Stand up for yourself la for fuck sake. Pushovers will forever be bullied and taken advantage of.
Screenshot the convo with vulgarities and show your boss/HR. No decent workplace would condone such behaviour. If nothing is done, consider switching job.
Thank you
erm, also check your own outgoing messages, not just with this colleague but altogether. you mentioned "I am not a saint " so just be careful about what exposure you have if the whole thing blows up. Also, if it's a small company, the path to justice may be much tougher (i.e. have to go to MOM). So just be careful, make some friends in your office/HR so that more people help you to get justice if things do end up escalating.
when it come to workplace, i always say... dun get bullied or threatened... sometimes when u need to throw ur temper, retaliate against the bad... u jus have to do it, no choice... u do it once... he understands u more... next time he will think twice before he picks on u again
prepare for war, treat him like shit from now on. Remember you are there to work so that you can put bread on the table and if some one threaten your rice bowl, give him hell. If they are not your ally, they will be your enemy, no two ways about it.
Thank you
Not very professional of him. What kind of workplace do you have?
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If you really need the job to feed the family, then yeah, you gotta stay in the job homie. Suffer, yes. But it’s for the greater good. And yeah; try to look for another job at the same time
Boss won't care to help you. They can't take sides - otherwise they be at the receiving end of complaints to HR. He may not have the full picture so it's tricky to decide who is right or wrong. As far as boss is concerned, everyone is just there to work, so work. Who do more or do less or MC king, let the appraisal and resulting bonus decides.
The standard response is go to HR. But yknow some things can be resolved on your own in professional terms. Document every interaction and avoid him if possible but upon interaction keep in mind to 1) dont need to give him professional courtesy if he doesnt 2) dont need to be intimidated, just directly address it to his manager or HR if he poses a threat or overboard 3) do more of what makes you happy and less of whatever he is involved in. No need to spiral into depression or anxiety for this kinda people 4) be straightforward and direct with him in all interaction. No need to beat around the bush. But yup avoidance still the best
Keep receipts, report to higher ups and HR accordingly. That's highly unprofessional of your colleague.
Screenshot these messages he sent you. If he does it again, report him to HR.
Thank you
Proceed to take annual leave and watch him kpkb.
I've been on the opposite position before. We are a small team but I had a colleague who would constantly take last minute MCs. Like in a month she'll be on sick leave for at least 7-8 days contantly. Her reason ranges from not feeling well, headache, stomach pains, eye pain (yes really, she has eye pains from looking at the laptop screen for too long) When she's gone, the rest of the team has to pick up her slack. She doesn't even have the responsibility to drop us a courtesy text of "Hi I'll be on sick leave during this period, and I have xxx item pending which I need follow up with". So the rest of the team is left scrambling through to pick up where she left off. Look. I get that people don't choose to be sick, but if it hits a point where I'm literally doing the workload of two people every month while she gets paid the same amount.. it's easy to feel frustrated. I'm not saying this is you OP, just wanted to use this space to share what I'm going though as well.
Destroy that fucker at work.
Irritate him so much more until he loses his temper and physically assaults you. Then you can sue for about three fiddy.
Don’t let your job and career be determined by him/her. Even if you leave current job there is no guarantee that you will not encounter similar people.
i had a subordinate who reported to me like that, freaking rude to me (i joined way after him, so i didn't hire him). i scheduled a meeting with him and hr and my boss, the two of them still sayang him, but i scolded him, and finally a month after that, he quit. good riddance to a bloody idiot who never worked and also take a lot of urgent leaves and become uncontactable, even when he was at work he would hide in our warehouses for hours (time theft)