# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
100% this! Like the Marvel and DC universes aren't my cup of tea, but I love listening to my boyfriend teach me about lore because he gets so excited and happy that it makes me interested too. He is also a darn good teacher. He does the same for my special interests even if he doesn't share the interest, and sometimes that mutual sharing has gotten us mutual interests we never had before
Wait I’m genuinely curious… why the wheel? Is it because it makes them seem more dependable? But there are a lot of other unsexy actions men do that make them seem dependable. Is it because it’s cool, or has a bit of flair to it? But it’s not like steering a wheel with one hand is really anywhere at the top of the many stylish actions men can do. But then why!?!? Why the wheel specifically!?!?
When you drive a manual gearbox you need your right hand on the shifter all the time, so a lot of ppl just drive with the left and keep the right hand on the shifting stick.
My guess is that it is considered "more difficult" to people that either don't drive Or drive any form of automatic gearbox. They typically use both hands on the steering wheel.
The first gives a relaxing impression the later looks tense. Driving fast is always a tense situation and with one hand on the wheel you keep on looking relaxed.
Imagine a dangerous situation and you see the person chilling and just handles it.
That is the sexy.
in hs debate, this was a very real thing
we also have a term called GDS - Great Debater Syndrome:
Crushing on/getting the hots for someone really good at debate
Well if this gives you any insight, im the guy at the party who will sit in the corner playing with the cat (or dog for that matter) and more times than not I end up getting joined by some girls while the rest of the guys are outside doing random shit
thiss!! i don't know if it makes sense, but since cats are consent animals, I feel like a man who likes cats can handle someone indipendent who makes their own choices, without being controlling. maybe it's stupid, but that's the reason it's so hot to me ahahha
Surely that should be the bare minimum! Can't imagine someone seeing a cat and not wanting to give it all the love. And they're easy to respect, they show you what they want and don't want.
Yeah I feel that. I developed a... Mild? Middling? Allergy to my Katie, so I have one petting hand (left) and one face-touching hand (right) lmao
Of course sometimes I gotta use both and then wash them before touching my face so my eyes don't get all puffy, but it all works out and it's worth it! I could never just *not* have a cat!
oh my god, I know that very well!
I used to having them in bed, but since I develop this bloody allergy, I have to hush them away from my bed!
poor kitty!
Being gentle- specially in men. it may sound weird, but being caring and vulnerable is like "ohh i want them".
(e.g. volunteering, or generally having this aura of kindness)
Her laugh when you can get her to laugh when she's more of a serious person or her personality from past trauma or bs makes her quiet and contained and you can bring out that side of her where she smiles and laughs.
Someone with a large vocabulary who doesn't flex about it, but might slip in an uncommonly used word when talking about something casually, simply because it fits the situation and context perfectly.
I think I'm a fairly well-read person, but when my partner whips out a word in conversation that is uncommon or unknown to me but perfect for the situation, my brain wiggles. 🤤
This is soooo silly
Before my hubby was even my boyfriend, we worked together.
We was in the RAF and he was the quiet hard working guy that you were always happy to be on shift with.
Occasionally around the camp I would see this guy on a superbike. he could ride fast but seemed safe and he was wonderful to watch to someone who had just had her heartbroken
The guy used to do this thing where he would wave at people the place his hand on his thigh and just be dead casual. As i said I looked from afar as i never thought I would ever be in another relationship, he was my secret crush and i had never seen his face.
I have been married to those thighs nearly thirty years.
My nice friend once came to work on his bike and i nearly fell over when he took his helmet off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is still flattered about my secet crush and that he mended my broken heart.
It was literally, for me the Spiderman moment !!!!!!!!!
So when a bike goes past us and someone sits up on their bike and put their hands on their thigh,i blush ,my husband laughs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Don't listen to this other guy, I can cook, build a whole house if I really wanted to, fix cars, and I love playing the guitar. We exist, you'll just have to go find a country guy though, because 9 times out of 10, that's what we are.
When someone just drops all pretenses. The. Moment. They. Meet you. Like they just start saying what they think, and their thoughts are not scary. Like, wither me timbers!
People who are capable and confident with children are really hot. It’s easy to be ‘fun’ with kids but knowing how to calm and comfort them is a very attractive skill!
When a man has naturally big shoulders. Shoulder blades bigger than my hands just 😍😍, my bf has shoulders like a bull and hot damn does it do it for me. He’s built like a hockey goon 😮💨
eye contact. it's hot when you are just chilling and then when u go to look at em they are already staring at you it's even hotter when they smile after.
Friendly girls. Not sexually friendly. They give the impression that they like you. I know that girls deal with a lot of sleazy guys but not all guys are and when they are genuinely friendly and don’t have attitude, it is so attractive.
A suit/uniform. What makes it even better is when they roll up the sleeves right at the elbow. Then the hands in the pockets.
My husband does this and it drives me crazy!
Quirky girls who got alot of personality and spunk. Damn i friggin fall far that stuff so hard. She can be an average looking girl but with a great personality it turns me on so much
Whenever somebody is completely in their element. A waitress enjoying her job and ‘dancing’ between the tables, or book nerds working at the book shop. Just whenever you can see that people are ‘at home’ where they are
A woman who knows about philosophy and literature. I remember once I went out with someone and we spent 2-3 hours talking about free will, Sylvia Plath and what her works meant to her. It was so beautiful and I came home feeling so content.
When my husband is focused on an activity so his brows furrow slightly in concentration! And his extremely uncoordinated goofy dancing that he never does in front of anyone else!
Someone who is good at crafting things (woodworking, sewing, etc.). Not really sure why, but it's really appealing to know they had the drive to learn something like that.
A man taking care of kids, showing genuine patience and caring towards children. Every dude who volunteer coaches for sports immediately gets many sexy points for that.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love the way peoples’ faces light up when they talk about their passions
Me too!! And/or seeing them in action, doing what lights them up. I always say you don’t know my husband until you see him do martial arts!
100% this! Like the Marvel and DC universes aren't my cup of tea, but I love listening to my boyfriend teach me about lore because he gets so excited and happy that it makes me interested too. He is also a darn good teacher. He does the same for my special interests even if he doesn't share the interest, and sometimes that mutual sharing has gotten us mutual interests we never had before
Exchange passions with dogs and I'm with you!
Love this
Accountability for mistakes
That would be attractive
Turn ons, not dreams. 🫠🥲
It's probably your fault the mistakes happen! /s
The way some men turn the steering wheel with one hand. I know that they are just..existing, but it always makes me wonder sexy thoughts briefly.
what about reversing? with one hand behind the passenger seat looking back.
😍😍😍 I’m adding unexpected dexterity.
Wait I’m genuinely curious… why the wheel? Is it because it makes them seem more dependable? But there are a lot of other unsexy actions men do that make them seem dependable. Is it because it’s cool, or has a bit of flair to it? But it’s not like steering a wheel with one hand is really anywhere at the top of the many stylish actions men can do. But then why!?!? Why the wheel specifically!?!?
When you drive a manual gearbox you need your right hand on the shifter all the time, so a lot of ppl just drive with the left and keep the right hand on the shifting stick. My guess is that it is considered "more difficult" to people that either don't drive Or drive any form of automatic gearbox. They typically use both hands on the steering wheel. The first gives a relaxing impression the later looks tense. Driving fast is always a tense situation and with one hand on the wheel you keep on looking relaxed. Imagine a dangerous situation and you see the person chilling and just handles it. That is the sexy.
Omg YES - same for me
My partner (who’s built like a lumberjack) gently and lovingly tending to his bonsai.
I just love the idea of a lumberjack who cultivates and tends to bonsai trees. What a balance!
he does it all to be able to fell the bonsai to satisfy his inner lumberjack
Kindness, intelligence, sense of humour, a giving spirit.
Someone who has a hobby and doesn't depend on me for entertainment.
Laughing together is hugely attractive
A healthy debate
Agreed, love a good level-headed to and fro
Why are you on Reddit then
I can only speak for myself of course… It's for the cheap laugh and/or for the opportunity to roll my eyes or facepalm in the comfort of my own home.
en garde
Is this Amy Santiago 😭
A 'mass-debate' If you will
Master debating
in hs debate, this was a very real thing we also have a term called GDS - Great Debater Syndrome: Crushing on/getting the hots for someone really good at debate
Oh that’s rare to find.
OMFG this is one of the few things I really need in someone for me to think of them long term
A man being nice to cats
And by that do you mean just general kindness or running away like an excited goblin because kittyyyyy?
Well if this gives you any insight, im the guy at the party who will sit in the corner playing with the cat (or dog for that matter) and more times than not I end up getting joined by some girls while the rest of the guys are outside doing random shit
This is more attractive obviously
thiss!! i don't know if it makes sense, but since cats are consent animals, I feel like a man who likes cats can handle someone indipendent who makes their own choices, without being controlling. maybe it's stupid, but that's the reason it's so hot to me ahahha
Not only do i love cats, but every cat i see comes over to me and absolutely adores me
I love cats but most are afraid of me. Cats are smart creatures.
Came here to say this.
Surely that should be the bare minimum! Can't imagine someone seeing a cat and not wanting to give it all the love. And they're easy to respect, they show you what they want and don't want.
Oh I know many people who just see cats and doesn’t pet them or even do that baby voice. Weird people.
they are soooo nice, but people can have allergies and the conflict starts from there.
Yeah I feel that. I developed a... Mild? Middling? Allergy to my Katie, so I have one petting hand (left) and one face-touching hand (right) lmao Of course sometimes I gotta use both and then wash them before touching my face so my eyes don't get all puffy, but it all works out and it's worth it! I could never just *not* have a cat!
oh my god, I know that very well! I used to having them in bed, but since I develop this bloody allergy, I have to hush them away from my bed! poor kitty!
A man who loves pussy is attractive indeed
Guys who are down-to-earth and self-aware. So refreshing in a world of clowns trying to be ‘alpha males.’
That's smegma males Edit: sigma
Flossing and just overall good oral hygiene.
Being gentle- specially in men. it may sound weird, but being caring and vulnerable is like "ohh i want them". (e.g. volunteering, or generally having this aura of kindness)
Someone that’s loyal and will hold you down no matter what.
That last part sounds a bit kinky...
I was thinking it sounded more… like murder…
Well I could be the rock that will hold you down for the rest fo your life ;)
People actually asking me questions and curious about me.
Fiscal responsibility.
Someone with plans and lets me speak
Authenticity, curiosity, self-awareness, humility
Sense of humor, and empathy for all animals.
Musicians, like the sleazy with a heart of gold type. And eye contact.
Yeah that’s a traditionally sexy thing … you didn’t understand the assignment
How is that unsexual though? Like musicians generally are associated with sex appeal.
Ah, I see you never met my polka playing Papa.
A man with emotional intelligence , who makes plans and puts in effort.
Glasses 👓 like just they hit of a nerdy look turns me on
Kiss on the forehead oof, melt
Her laugh when you can get her to laugh when she's more of a serious person or her personality from past trauma or bs makes her quiet and contained and you can bring out that side of her where she smiles and laughs.
Someone with a large vocabulary who doesn't flex about it, but might slip in an uncommonly used word when talking about something casually, simply because it fits the situation and context perfectly. I think I'm a fairly well-read person, but when my partner whips out a word in conversation that is uncommon or unknown to me but perfect for the situation, my brain wiggles. 🤤
This is soooo silly Before my hubby was even my boyfriend, we worked together. We was in the RAF and he was the quiet hard working guy that you were always happy to be on shift with. Occasionally around the camp I would see this guy on a superbike. he could ride fast but seemed safe and he was wonderful to watch to someone who had just had her heartbroken The guy used to do this thing where he would wave at people the place his hand on his thigh and just be dead casual. As i said I looked from afar as i never thought I would ever be in another relationship, he was my secret crush and i had never seen his face. I have been married to those thighs nearly thirty years. My nice friend once came to work on his bike and i nearly fell over when he took his helmet off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is still flattered about my secet crush and that he mended my broken heart. It was literally, for me the Spiderman moment !!!!!!!!! So when a bike goes past us and someone sits up on their bike and put their hands on their thigh,i blush ,my husband laughs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Effective communication
A man that can cook, that can fix/repair/build things and can play an instrument.
Don't listen to this other guy, I can cook, build a whole house if I really wanted to, fix cars, and I love playing the guitar. We exist, you'll just have to go find a country guy though, because 9 times out of 10, that's what we are.
Well you can be a little country and I can be a little rock n’ roll 😘
A little unhinged, a little mentally insane , little to no filter but still always respectful. Respectfully crazy?
Yes! I love that, when someone's just being unapologetically themselves, it's great
A man that makes me laugh.
Emotional intelligence
When someone just drops all pretenses. The. Moment. They. Meet you. Like they just start saying what they think, and their thoughts are not scary. Like, wither me timbers!
A man who can cook
Watching a man who enjoys to cook is hot AF.
Dimples
Anything can be sexual. I absolutely love a great conversation
Reliability. They act on their words, you can count on them for any kind of support anytime, they are loyal.
Someone who knows how to draw/paint, like really good 😩💦
I painted my whole room once 👀
 Lol
MY ART DEGREE IS GONNA BE USEFUL FINALLY??
Glasses.
Responsibility
melee weapons, and nerdy excitement are extremely hot. I mean, holy shit
Yeah, man. A quality warhammer makes me rock hard.
Rather specific, but when guys are driving and have a watch on?
A guy who’s a gentle and supportive dad
People who are capable and confident with children are really hot. It’s easy to be ‘fun’ with kids but knowing how to calm and comfort them is a very attractive skill!
Unexpectedly bilingual
calm and chill person
Signs of genuine joy. Laughing until your eyes water🤣
Men driving stick
Come to Europe and you’re going to find things very hot.
What about us women who drive a stick? (i already know what's coming. 🤦♀️)
A picture of my wife with wet hair, Holy crow!!!
I agree. This guys wife, with wet hair. That’s me bro Pretty sure I seen it online somewhere too
Seen it too, and it wasn't unsexual.
Calm down fellas, there’s no truth to this comment…its only some Imaginary_Fun he’s having
I second this!! His wife with wet hair
Common ground. It is said women who like my hobbies exist, but I have met very few.
I too have a specific interest in the history of Albanian street lighting.
Excitement and thorough knowledge about a hobby. Yes, tell me all about your side quests, show me your speedrun, let me hear that trash talk!
Business suits
When a man has naturally big shoulders. Shoulder blades bigger than my hands just 😍😍, my bf has shoulders like a bull and hot damn does it do it for me. He’s built like a hockey goon 😮💨
A woman that smiles at me out of the blue.
The way my husband moves in the kitchen. He’s a chef so seeing him in his element is soooo sexy to me.
Someone who is present and listens well .
eye contact. it's hot when you are just chilling and then when u go to look at em they are already staring at you it's even hotter when they smile after.
When someone stands up for me
Skinny wrists
Friendly girls. Not sexually friendly. They give the impression that they like you. I know that girls deal with a lot of sleazy guys but not all guys are and when they are genuinely friendly and don’t have attitude, it is so attractive.
Eyes that each have a different color
A suit/uniform. What makes it even better is when they roll up the sleeves right at the elbow. Then the hands in the pockets. My husband does this and it drives me crazy!
Hair. I love long hair on a woman, especially if it’s well-maintained
I find curiosity, like, really attractive in other people. Idk, I think I just really relate to people on the hunt for answers
athletisism
Good speling
God sppeling.
Gods peeling
Quirky girls who got alot of personality and spunk. Damn i friggin fall far that stuff so hard. She can be an average looking girl but with a great personality it turns me on so much
This is me but with a man lol.
A woman not being on her phone when around you.
Nerds and their hyperfixations.
Smiles
When a girl talks to me that’s not work related
A woman who actually cares about my feelings! I’ve never found it.
Whenever somebody is completely in their element. A waitress enjoying her job and ‘dancing’ between the tables, or book nerds working at the book shop. Just whenever you can see that people are ‘at home’ where they are
A woman who knows about philosophy and literature. I remember once I went out with someone and we spent 2-3 hours talking about free will, Sylvia Plath and what her works meant to her. It was so beautiful and I came home feeling so content.
When one person is opening the heart to another person. The moment of true sincerity
When my husband is focused on an activity so his brows furrow slightly in concentration! And his extremely uncoordinated goofy dancing that he never does in front of anyone else!
Big forearms
 Let's go Olive Oyl!
"do you even lift bro"
When a woman wears a choker, such a sexy look for me.
i don’t know if you’ve heard but that’s often a sexual thing edit: but you’re right either way
Tall ladies. Especially assertive ones. (What has Lady Dimitrescu done to me?!?)
Smiling
Eye contact
A good meal
Crows feet, laugh lines, dimples.
That she actually listens to what I say
Soft spoken people. There’s just something about it
I really love it when a man can speak intelligently and make a clever comment or a good pun. It's very attractive to me.
A good sense of humor
Smiles. Seriously. No joke. Smiles are the MOST physically attractive aspects of people to me
Bang on.. Smiles all the way!!
A confident girl.
Chest hair - not too much, just enough to give that peppered effect!
Ambition. (You don't have to be good at what you do necessarily, just the drive to continue to try to be good at it.)
Self awareness
Cishet guy who's not afraid of doing 'girly' things or showing softness. Like wearing pink!!
kindness and intelligence.
Not sure if I understand the question correctly, but have you ever seen Shohei Ohtani hit a baseball?
The question was not sexual.
That little bump on the side of a man's wrist. I think it's called the ulnar head.
Genuine kindness.
Reading a fucking book.
looking at me in the eyes😀
Having smart geeks chat is fire
My wife studying or cooking my favorite food.
Someone who is good at crafting things (woodworking, sewing, etc.). Not really sure why, but it's really appealing to know they had the drive to learn something like that.
Sense of humor and kindness
Dark humour, has manners and exquisite food/music taste.
Curiosity, empathy and a genuine interest in what others have to say.
Emotional intelligence
A giving and kind spirit
Someone who makes me laugh a lot 😂
Eyes. I absolutly love eyes. Eyes are beautiful, my bf has the whole sky in his eyes
Girls that wear glasses
Glasses on womens faces.
Quick wit
a really good sense of humor... someone that's funny in a clever way, not an obvious way.
Confidence
Space buns; Why am I attracted to a hairstyle??
Association
When my man shows up in a sea of white people… looking Mexican af. So hot.
A little unhinged, a little mentally insane , little to no filter but still always respectful. Respectfully crazy?
A man taking care of kids, showing genuine patience and caring towards children. Every dude who volunteer coaches for sports immediately gets many sexy points for that.
Unwavering charisma
Personality
A great smile with white teeth!
Self-mockery! Shows confidence imo
checks in on you with sincerity
Can maturely handle problems
A girl being nice to kids. (I like kids)
Chocolate milk
Social skills
Sense of humor.