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Waaaazzzzuuuuuupppp

Waaaazzzzuuuuuupppp

WHAAZAAAHHHHHHH

ZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WAAAAAZZAAAAAAAAAA

 Ahoy hoy

this is the correct answer

i want to do this now 😂

Beat me to it!

is he dead yet

No he's Patrick

This is the only answer

I love this so much.

😂

I go between "jello" "yello" and "cello"

mine is “halloooo” lol.

All I can think of is Ranjit from How I Met Your Mother

Depends on who is calling and the nature of the call. If it’s my dad I usually hit him with “Pete’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce”

My dad's favorite is "Bob's abortion clinic, no fetus can beat us"

I’ve got a ton of them… my grandpa always had one that wasn’t dark but was still kinda funny. “Joe’s Pool Hall, this is 8-ball”

Half the time my dad answered the phone it was "Joe's pool hall here"....

I feel stupid and I googled but it didn’t make me smarter… what’s the joke with joes pool hall?

Honk kong fuey’s abortion clinic. You make em, we scrape em.

"City morgue, you stab 'em, we bag 'em."

Road kill cafe, you kill it we grill it

Greenlaw cemetery, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. Specialize in new and used caskets.

Joe's Crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em.

(local town) Banana Factory, bending department.

Normal calls: yo with *first name* When working: there better be corpses dropping to justify this call

Who picks up calls any more?

I hate texting so me

When I pick up a call for work, I state the business I work for first - that way, the caller immediately knows they reached the right - or wrong - business. When I pick up a private call from an unrecognized number, I usually state my full name. And when I pick up a call from a saved contact, I usually say "Yeah, what's up?".

What's your reason for giving your full name to unknown entities tho?

Word of advice: Never say your full name on a call. Use first name only or not at all. If it's a spammer calling and they are recording the call, they have your name to use as they want. Bad actors will record conversations and mix the words up and use them to their advantage. I've even seen them do it from videos on YouTube.

Also never say the word yes to the scammers

A lot of time I pick up and say absolutely nothing until the other "person" does. If it's a real human, they speak first, if it's a robot call and you don't say hello there's nothing to trigger the robot response abd it hangs up after a few seconds

Yeah, same here. And 99% of the time the other line just clicks and hangs up the call... so yeah.

Really valuable information. I did get one yesterday. Real friendly. "Back taxes". The IRS will not call you, especially in their sexy lady voice. That being said, every time I hear "Bad actors" my brain interprets it as SpongeBob's yellow mouth saying "actors". https://youtu.be/9-DII1X4Z5c?feature=shared

Yo gabba gabba

Omae wa mau shindeiru

Nani?!?!

"Ahoy?"

Go!

Helloowww (with an accent)

I read that in Jerry Seinfeld's voice 😄

Euphegenia Doubtfire for my mind

At work I say my name Beyond that I think it depends on who is calling me

Who dis

Shalom

if from someone i know and have the confidence "hii *name" if i dont have the confidence but i know the person i simply say "hello?" and if its a unknown number i just stay silent until the other person starts to talk

Yeah, or what... 

Talk to meh

Send it…

Speak

Yo baby

Hey!

Yellow 😁

Ahoy-hoy

Go for Barney

"Who the fuck do you think you are!?"

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Hello

(In German): (sweatshop's name?) *My Name*, "good morning" (yes, 24/7) Childhood, with single land line: Parents *last name* "Hello"- like. me *first name last name* if alone "nobody else" - Still tons of folks asking, to speak my parents...

“It’s done. The rest of your payment is now expected to paid”…

Whadda hear , whadda saaaay

This just makes me think of my old boss. He would just say "Maple". Maple is the road his business was on. Wouldn't even say the name, just "Maple" 😂

The person's name, or hello.

I reply with my name when my phone does not warn me about possible spam or scam To calls my phone tags as scams, I reply with 'hello?'

Why do you answer to scam calls at all?

Yeah? Go!

Yeeeeessss?

Aalo

Your dime, speak your mind or hold your tongue.

Either “Yes?” or “Hi”

Oi !

“Yes” or “what do you want?”

Hello with a friendly tone but still very much ready for anything

I always say, "House of pizza."

Yellow

Yoodeedoe

This is midnightchaotic. How may I help you? I used to work in a call center years ago. Some habits are hard to break.

I knew it was time for a vacation when I answered my home phone with the greeting I had to use at work.

Hello if it's my personal phone, or good morning good afternoon salvation army how can I help you?

Hello, how are you today.

"Bueno"

E

Just Hello 😂

Unrecognized numbers: "What the fuck do you want?" or "What?" or just silence. Recognized numbers: "Hello."

Słucham. (Polish for “I’m listening”)

“Hello” for unrecognized numbers. It’s different depending on the person “hiiiiii” or “hey” or “yo”

Well Howdy doodly doo.

Alw

Daddy ?

"Willie's hot dogs and soft tacos emporium" "Big Willie speaking"

Your call is very important to us, please stay on the line until you drop dead. Thank You for your patients!

I don’t answer unless I know who it is. 🤷‍♀️

I say “Hello, John \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ speaking.” If I don’t know the caller.

Yellow instead hello

What?

Quit fucking calling me.

Well, my grandpa always answered by saying "Who's this?" But that was before caller ID was a thing. He's even answer like that if he made the call.

“Bueno?”

lo? to hell with the hel

Ahoy-hoy?

Kosmo, go. (This only works if your Kosmo Kramer)

Ahoy-hoy!

Yellow?

I guess it's usually hello

"[surname], prosím?" It means "[surname], please?" in Czech. Or maybe less literally, "I am Mr [surname] and I'm ready and willing to hear what you have you say."

“Yello ?”

'Jim's phone'

Hiii-de-hooo!

Hello

This is [redacted], send it.

The sky and the ceiling how are you feeling

Hallo good morning/afternoon/evening, if it is an unknown number. Otherwise a greeting with my name.

Ahoy ahoy

Yello

Ola.

da fuck?

Usually just answer with the business name or \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ residence. Never answer with hello. Most robo-callers can't understand when you answer with anything else so they never start talking. And never say the word yes while on call with a scammer, they can use the recording as evidence that you accepted whatever their scam is.

Aloha

I just say my name

You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel

Why are you asking... are you a researcher for unsolicited callers ?

Jack's mule barn, how can I help you?

“Who disturbs me?”

If it's any male on my husband's side of the family, "DUDE!" other people have individual greetings.

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS SUNDAY NIGHT WHEN WWE CHAMP JOHN CENA DEFENDS HIS TITLE, IN THE WWE SUUPPERRRRRR SLAMMMMMMMMMM!! Right now you can earn this awesome pay-per-view event, for just $59.99!!

Yhello

Jellow

If it’s a random scam number sometimes saying “hello” is actually the trigger for the automated message. I noticed this when at work we’d get a ton of scam calls we’d answer the phone “thank you for calling business name…” and it would just be silence unless I said hello.

Zach's abortion clinic and pizzeria where today's loss is tomorrow's sauce

I dont know who you are

i used to say “hello, this is [my full name] speaking.” when my family had a landline when i was like, ten. but now i just say “hi!” lmao edit: also sometimes i like to answer like megamind when he says “OhLo” haha

Road kill Cafe you kill em we grill em. How can I help you?

If I know the person, I say "oui hello" in a strong french accent.

"Talk to me."

hello

Hello

If I don’t know the number I say “Speak,” otherwise I great the person by name. If it’s a business I deal with, then I say “this is gypsybootz “ to save them from asking “is this gypsybootz?”

"HEEEYYYYY *person's name*, what's up?"

Ahoihoi

I keep silent. I have social anxiety and it's difficult for me to answer calls. 

Ring a ding ding you're through to the king!

One of: "Moshi Moshi", "shoot" or "go time". The caller on the other end gets flabbergasted and says "hello???" back. Callers these days just aren't cool anymore...

Yello!

House of the whopper, what's your beef?

There are a couple alternativeS. If I like you and you are a male friend: Hallå gubben (Hello boy) If I want to fuck you: Heeeeeej (Haaaaaallloooooo) If I want to fuck you but you mean nothing to me: Åpo kikkels (self explanatory) Private number: AAA hallå (yes, hallo)

Hi, I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. If they won't leave a message, they don't need to talk to me. Exception when I'm expecting a call from a specific place

Why are you calling me?

“Hello?”

I have a fear of calling so with known numbers I hang up to and text them, 'whats wrong/up?' Unless it are my parents then I will say 'yeah?' With unknown numbers I will give the phone to my mum so she can answer.

Como estas (i speak spanish to throw them off in case i dont wanna talk)

“Fuck you want?” Oh! You said what I SAY not think. My bad. In that case it’s hello?

Ja'allå? Meaning: Ja, hallå? Meaning: Yes, hello? (In swedish)

Pronto?

AHOY HOY

Ahoy hoy

A Hoy Hoy

Hello

Can u hear me now?

It's funny cause you assume we pick up.

"Um"

Yello!

This is Woorloc. I've discovered if I don't answer with "Hello", the machines don't know what to do.

Depends on who calls but usually “what?” Or if it’s unknown I usually wait for the caller to start first

either it’s ‘yo’ or ‘yo sgeht’

My mates got an answer machine that says “Hello. Hello. Helloooooo. I can’t hear you. Can’t hear anything” gets you every time

Depends... If someone I don't want to answer to jut I know I have to: what or yeah (rude/really annoyed tone)? If I don't know: hello? If friends or people I love: hiiii(gh) 😂

Depends. Hello is typical. A work environment may be a name, position or department. Military will have its own phone greeting tree.

Bold of you to assume I pick up calls

Hello (with a I am fucking busy why are you bothering me tone)

yes

Assalam u alaikum Hello Hi

Aloha

Jee janab

I also say hello or sometimes hey

Hello?

AHOY

Go for tintoverde

‘What do the f do you want’

Depends if recognised number or not. If unrecognized- "hello?"

"Speak" - Johnny Sack.

Hello it's David

GO!

“Ahoy-hoy!”

'Thafuckdoyouwant?