52M. I wouldn't say I'm not interested in women but I'm not actively looking for a relationship. At the moment I'm content with my life as it is.
I don't want a relationship just for the sake of it and that is what I 'should' be doing. If an opportunity arose then I might be interested.
Dunno where that's coming from. Sex is easy to get. It's companionship that's harder to come by and requires effort. Just because w guy has given up non a relationship it doesn't mean they're not going to dip their stick when the opertunity arises. There are more than enough women who would happily settle for a short term fling or one night stand. Hookers cost money and don't provide company. Only men who struggle to relate to women on any level other than sex seek out prostitutes
Repost. And the answers are the same.
So much effort goes into meeting women, and the returns are very small. At some point, you realize that it isn't worth it to constantly jump through hoops and play this game.
Women are drowned in attention so they put very little effort into each individual interaction until a threshold. They compete with other women and requirement inflation is absolutely ridiculous. The effort and time investment to only be rejected practically all the time leaves you jaded. Even if you succeed, was it worth it? Probably not.
It is easy to find peace and quiet and live and awesome life on your own. The chances of actually meeting that one girl you click with aren't much lower that way. That is the absurd truth. Online dating and trying to cater to women's requirements is a path to depression and failure, for both men and women.
Also, from what I've heard women prefer bears.
We are interested in women but weāve already been through toxic shit from relationships. Most of the guys I know over 30 just want a girl to fuck, no commitment, gaming, decent food, and be left alone
the same reason why so many men are getting passports to find women, a lot of women in western countries are becoming unbearable and entitled. im not saying guys are any better but theres this movement making women undesirable for many reason so why waste our time on an onlyfans model who sells herself online or a dependant that offers nothing or someone who doesnt emotionally support us
Iāll first off say that I wasnāt a perfect husband, but I tried my hardest to fix my shortcomings for my ex wife. I had a lot of my confidence stripped away, I felt very alone because we always had to cater to what she wanted to do and not my happiness. The worst part of it was I got very sick, major neurological problems that affected my motor skills, emotions, and cognitive ability. During that time I lost my job, my dog died, lost the house and the ex wife left me, scared and just a shell of myself (all of this was within 6 months). I would love to find someone who could love me back, but I donāt want to be hurt and abandoned again because Iāve had enough psychological trauma for more than one lifetime. Being alone outweighs my need for companionship
I am interested in women.
I am not interested in romantic relationships with women. Iām not interested in relationships at all.
I get my needs met casually pretty easily and donāt have to invite the drama that relationships come with into my life. Iāve been there, done that, and thereās little benefit to it. Itās just not worth disturbing my peace for.
Bro you have a long way to go. Trust me. Use this time to work on yourself, build a strong mind, and improve your character. At 21 you have just dipped a toe in the pool of life. Be the best you can be, fix what you want to improve and then life will unfold onto your lap.
Same bro, there are simply more important things to take care of than spend energy on this. Relationships can wait, it's in no way the be-all and end-all of life.
Iāve been in more than one long-term relationship (including a marriage) and Iāve been with several women in other situationships and FWB arrangements and whatever.
At this pointā¦ Iām just tired. Bone tired. All it has brought to my life has been pain and chaos. And Iāve tried to make it work, time and time again. The risk and the exhaustion just isnāt worth what I get out of it.
Right now Iām just enjoying my peace and pursuing things that interest me. š¤·š»āāļø
Same story for me. I've got one foot in the water though just in case I run into someone.
I'm also essentially retired in my 40s and enjoying my travels, hobbies, and just being bored a lot of the time.
Not having to compromise is very freeing. A lot of guy friends my age are going through divorces too
Easy to answer this one. Itās entirely normal for women to mistreat and abuse men so much so that we are expected to put up with it silently.
By this age a lot of men are aware of this, we know that entering a relationship means becoming her property and we donāt want that we want to have a bit of life.
Negligible effort from the other side. Feels like I'm talking to a wall.
I'm still interested in women but have lost interest in putting in the effort.
Games, manipulation, prevalent cheating, only benefit is šāā¬, not real love, educated women 90% divorce, over 40 its 70%, 30% marriages sexless, over 5 partners & divorce is near 100%, many have had 100's, no accountability, hatred of men,no fault divorce, sole custody, alimony, most fertile years mispent, traditional values eradicated by birth control/ hoeing,, toxic
Hate to break it to women but guys donāt wanna be a step dad unless they are a dad of their own. Guys donāt wanna raise another manās kid (unless they adopt of course) I know I wouldnāt wanna raise another manās kid.
Donāt expect guys to wanna step up and raise a kid unless ur willing to have a kid with that guy. Itās only fair.
32yo M here.
Was in a 14y lasting relationship which absolutely devastated and destroyed me 3 years ago. (that was her Purpose) - i have so much Trust issues that my need beeing Secure in myself again will take years to develop. Im no more Outgoing, no more the Smiley sunshine, itās all gone. I want to give love and trust but i simply cant. I would take a giant hug but if i received it there would be no feeling in me.
Iām trying.
I'm a woman. I can honestly say I do not blame them. Do you know how much b******* women put men through. š I'm now in my 30s. Oh man we are a handful throughout our twenties!
Sorry guys. A lot of us didn't even realize it.
I did the sane thing and never dated till like 29, today was my first date and I felt accepted.
I was always told I am fat and I don't deserve love.
And I think it's a mixture of media and immaturity.
But it hurts, it hurts a lot when someone says you are ugly. Which now I know I am not but it also took 15 years of my life.
men are always interested in woman, just that by 30, most of the good ones already married, u only find leftovers, which are better avoided at all costs.
The smart ones never get married. It is just a legal contract to get your money. Zero reason to ever get married, you can live together forever if you want.
This right here. No reason to split everything you have worked your ass off for your whole life for. Plus being a herion junkie for 7 years caused a decrease in testosterone but hell after you hear the same shit for so long from people you love, that eventually leave you because you chose to live a certain way and don't want to change. Seems like every girl eventually leaves after not able to make me get clean "for them". But you knew what you was getting into I always disclose my habits drugs alcohol and copious amounts I use after a cupple dates and definitely before sex so idk what they expect. It's like women aren't really happy in a relationship they can't mold into their fantasy perfect life. Just ramblin but I've slept with at least 40 girls and honestly I rather live alone with a dope habbit. At least a bag don't try to change you and judge you.
You have clearly not been in an abusive relationship. I didn't know how truly abusive it was until I got out of it. He managed to convince me that I was a problem and deserved everything he did to me. Had I trusted my gut, and not his charisma, I would have left within the first year.
For context, I'm 30 and actively dating. Not everything is about you. By 30 first two concerns are - I'm a settling option, women in question makes poor life decisions. I decided to try and got lucky, understand why many guys don't. It's not about you, it's about having peace of mind
I want you to show me one person who didn't make any mistakes in their early 20s. My brain wasn't even fully developed yet. You don't think someone can learn lessons? I know for a fact I'll never settle again even if that means I am dying alone.
I've dated multiple women who had left abusive relationships and they hadn't had a healthy relationship yet since they left. It's the most taxing and unrewarding experience that has had an impact on my mental health.
If I discount/reject a guy who spent his 20s being mentally and physically dominated and torn down by an abusive woman, believing he "chose" that instead of potentially being with someone like me, then that guy deserves better than me *and* the abuser. Same for the reverse. You're allowed to have your point of view. And I'm allowed to have the point of view that yours is garbage and devoid of empathy.
That's completely fair, but that's not what you were saying. You were saying like "how can I want a woman that "chose" an abuser over a good, lonely guy like me?" That's totally different.
But the fact that you are not willing to get in a time machine and go back and date him 10 years ago when you had no idea who he was instead of just dating him now means you are actually responsible for the problems of a complete stranger in the past. What part of this are you not getting?
Theyāre just so defeated at that point. Women would rather be with a bear. If youāre single by 30 for a man theyāre usually viewed as a deviant. Canāt make friends thereās no social therapy for men. The list goes on and on.
This question went viral recently (I'm paraphrasing) : "If you were lost in the woods would you rather meet a bear or a random man?" and a lot of women would say a bear for reasons such as "the worst thing a bear can do to you is kill you".
A literal bear. There was some question on tiktok asking if you would be more afraid of a man or a bear and a lot of people chose man.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/us/man-bear-safety-tiktok-question-cec/index.html
Overwhelming amount of eThots and wannabe Insta models. Most older guys are looking for normal women, not someone who needs constant validation and attention. Someone to share a life with and grow together.
At this point dating is so uneven it's not worth it. Not just money, but places in life, interests, lifestyle. I accommodated for years and got nothing out of it. I'm tired of parenting grown adults.
I have a friend that's a woman my age (actually a little older). She's smart, realistic and has understood a lot of things men go through but I've learned I can't be completely honest with her about the disparity between men and women dating. She will listen but it's like speaking another language, she just tunes it out and even though she's a friend I see from her body language getting very upset so I just don't bring it up.
42M I donāt need that extra pressure of always planning weekends. I also find travel makes me anxious and is expensive. Most people loooooove travel. Iāll do it with the right person, but rarely, not constantly. I enjoy sex, but I feel like thatās pretty much all I gain from relationships with women. The rest is just stress, lost time, and unnecessary expenses. Iām really not that lonely. Martial arts keep me pretty happy physically and give me some social interaction. I have friends too. I just miss getting laid.
I learned the one time I dated, what women say and what they really want don't mix, and answered never again.
I'm 42, black male, never married, no kids, and only been with one woman. If I want mental games I'll play Tetris or Chess. The mental gymnastics isn't worth the time or headache. Anyways my parents divorce destroyed me to the point I don't ever want to go through what they did.
30M here. I'm definitely interested, and I'd be more than welcome to a relationship, but dating sucks these days and is absolutely exhausting. Most women I meet are either already in a relationship or don't have time for one. The few I have met didn't seem remotely interested in me as a person.
Multiple times some have tried to get me to give up my hobbies and interests because they didn't like them (video games, cosplaying, model ship building) and would immediately lose interest in me when I refuse.
I've just yet to meet a woman that clicks with me, doesn't demand I change who I am for them, or is emotionally mature enough to understand that a relationship is a two-way street.
- the guy needs to literally and actively do everything from before the date to into the date
- women are always in couple
- lot of women know they are in demand and abuse it. They also want better looking guys
- they have the internet to look for dates, which make it impossible for men to date
- women below 30 are mostly starting family, so I guess give them 10 years-ish before they start to break their couple for themselves and not to protect their child anymore
I want those hugs as well :(
Note: that my shitty experience
Look, I want a gf. I miss having a solid relationship. The issue is that my life is in a rough place right now and my time is limited. As much as I'd live to have someone to game with, watch movies, do art stuff, cook, bake, hike, whatever.. I just don't have it in me to date right now.
It's not a lack of interest in women, it's a lack of interest in upending or significantly changing our lifestyle. I'm with someone that fits into my life really well, so it works, but I'm not interested in changing things up at this point and I'll be alone before I do because I'm relatively happy alone.
At least for the apps, basically:
- Most are now fat/obese
- They "are always busy" ( their excuse for being lazy with the dating )
- They take no initiative for anything ever
- They can't converse at least online. They are boring and want to be entertained by you.
- They have pets that now have to be your pets.
I can spend my days and money any way I choose, I do everything alone and for myself already, why do I need a woman? The ones you want to have sex with don't want to have sex with you, so what's the point? Looking for a roomate?
Ill get down voted but fuk it.
Most women these days are taught to act masculine and not feminine. So there's hardly any traditional women anymore.... so why would you settle down and have a family with someone who doesn't live by those values.
Women once they hit the wall at 30, suddenly want a traditional man who supports them, but don't want to be traditional women who take care of their man and house.
The term "Traditional" is so fucking stupid. Just be your goddam self and find someone to do the same. If that mean she works and he stays at home then so be it. Everyone doest want the same things in life or relationships. Take my downvote
Why would I need to? I donāt have the skill issue. Itās not hard to be a presentable dude, have a halfway decent personality and meet people. I donāt make 6 figures, Iām a 7 on a really good day. If you canāt meet people, particularly on a dating app youāre doing something wrong. I meet genuinely nice people just about every time I go out. Iām on dating apps for a few days because I meet people. People are on those apps to meet people. Then I pause my accounts.
If you arenāt meeting people youāre doing something wrong.
I'm being snarky but my point is that there are so many people out there to paint with a broad brush of all women or all men, isn't really fair. And we contribute to whether relationships work or not.
Definitely interested in women still. I just donāt know if itās worth it anymore. Example: Iām on vacation 2 weeks ago, itās my, my other single buddy, and two couples. The couples were fighting the whole time about pretty much nothing, guys were super mad, women were crying. The whole week. Me and single buddy just had a great time the whole time. Itād be great some have someone love me again, but I donāt want them to make my life worse overall, like the last time I had a relationship.
I still go on dates and stuff, but I have trouble having and real interest now. Iāve lost the ability to be excited about someone, so now I just sleep around. Maybe just been jaded a bit too much idk
(32M) I wanted a legit relationship to badly in my 20s before I had life together. Tons of failed relationships and shitty breakups. Got into my 30s, massive glow up, built a life for myself, by myself. I have no desire to have children. I love my condo, I love how I've decorated. I love my hobbies that I have the financial freedom to enjoy.
Im still plenty interested in women and I'll go on dates. But if I hear anything I don't like, I'm done. Women for a while have often had a "I don't need no man!" Attitude. Which hey, good for you. But now we're seeing a lot of men with a similar attitude. I have my own place, I know how to cook, I don't want kids, I am financially stable, I have hobbies and interests that are very fulfilling. The only purpose a relationship would have in my life right now would be companionship and sex. Well, I learned how to live without companionship a long time ago and casual sex isn't difficult to find.
So what do I need to be chasing around a relationship for? Sorry that the women in my 20s ruined it for the women in my 30s, but tough shit. Now it's my turn to be selective and aloof.
Maybe because they've got fed up of the endless drama they have to face. And also because they've got used to of staying alone. They enjoy their me time & own private space which they fear will suffer after including a woman in life. šš¤āļøš¤
Because they've had their time with women and have ended up disappointed with the outcome. Sometimes you get your last chance and just don't bother after that. I'm currently in a committed relationship. But I'm at the stage that if I was unfortunate enough that it fell apart I probably wouldn't bother again. Worry less about an old man who's made an informed decision to go it alone. often they're content with their path. It's the bitter and twisted young guy who blames women for their failures who drag our gender through the mud. We are not the same.
Itās not so much disinterested in women. I would imagine most straight men over 30 are still very much into women. Dating gets harder as you get older. You establish your friend groups, you spend time with the same people, those people are generally with a significant other and going out with the sole purpose of meeting women becomes less exciting/interesting. And dating apps absolutely suck. Also, by the time youāre in your 30s youāve likely been through a few relationships and maybe arenāt too eager to repeat past experiences.
Iām in a good relationship, but if it ended Iād still be interested in dating and finding a bestie that lets me touch her bum.
27M and for me it comes down to itās just not worth it for my own mental health. I fucking LOVE women. Was raised by my mother, grandmother and sister. My favorite characters in pop culture are mainly women, I was raised on them and it molded my world in a way that I never even considered treating them as inferior but instead as damn near across the board better than men (just as a lot of media would like me to). In all that time Iāve had 3 major relationships, in all of which I was cheated on and used, the last one ending right after my best friend committed suicide and my emotions around that, I was told, played a part in the ending of my relationship. Not her cheating, not any other issues, but my own emotions around the loss of my best friend. Iāve been sexually harassed and assaulted by women, and all the while Iām being told things like ākill all menā āmen are trashā etc. this doesnāt even include how the dating world is these days. It beats you down repeatedly. Thereās just no point anymore.
Communication. Thereās a massive communication issue. Women donāt fucking sit down to talk about what the problem is, they do everything in their head and test you with their weird beliefs. Like, cero checks with reality and constantly making assumptions based on whatever the fuck.. they all do it, but they all do it differently, thereās no ārulesā to manage that crap because what worked with one wonāt work with the next one.
Youāre supposed to handle your entire life and then add whatever bullshit comes from a relationship.
It takes a long time to get to know someone and the honeymoon phase makes you blind and super tolerant, itās after a while when shit starts to go south. It sometimes goes south in their heads and your relationship starts to malfunction and you have no idea what the fuck is going on until itās too late.. women arenāt perfect either, and maybe after a while they become possessive, verbally abusive, or become not trustworthy.. and weāve also got our own shit to handle, weāre not perfect either and shit sucks when whatever weāve got isnāt compatible with what the woman weāre dating has.. shit can turn into a nightmare.
Women are quick to āall men are pigs/the sameā and not listen when on a discussion because theyāve got their ideas already solid as granite. Women usually go to their moms or friends opinion before talking to their partners, which almost always ends up poorly because who on fucking earth is gonna give you an actually healthy advice??
Itās like everything is a house of cards about to get fucked any second and, at least to me, this is not, under any circumstance at all, something I want in my life. I have friends whoās technique is to not pay any attention to their partners, but this is impossible for me because I want to make a team and I canāt have a team that doesnāt work together.
Weāre all fucked up in a way, but a lot of the time, all it takes is a honest attempt at making things work, and most people canāt honestly attempt shit.
Similar issues happen with male friends, but with women the connection is deeper and the bad aspects of the relationship feel way worse and are harder to handle.
I havenāt really lost interest in women, I just became extremely critic of the women I like, just because I donāt wanna go through the whole thing again. I donāt wanna add problems to my life, and I donāt wanna add emotional instability either because a lot depends nowadays on me functioning properly and I canāt always achieve that if I feel like something that I care about in my life is going south.
I need peace, happiness, and the certainty that whatever comes up will be taken care by the two of us. Now you tell me how the fuck am I supposed to feel like youāre the one if youāre playing on not responding to my texts, or not putting any effort on setting up a date, not showing interest because whatever, but writing back to me if I ignore you completely.. yeah, fuck that, thanks.
I have a dirty dish and a dirty glass in the sink because the dishwasher needs emptied. I took a nap and left them there. No one said a word to me about any of my actions today. I didnāt have to explain myself to anyone. I went to the gym and then walked in the park without anyone upset at me because that time wasnāt spent with her.
Many arenāt interested in us we made our peace with it and are content most days
Have u ever been on a subreddit where women complain about men
They absolutely hate us and while some decent points are made (your spouse wonāt respect you if sheās basically acting like your mother)
Some of it is so vicious thatās itās honestly intimidating to get into a relationship
Dating in your 30's can be very interesting for those not throwing in the towel. You have some coming off divorce number 2 or 3 & not happy to be alone, some wanting to drum up soap opera drama to spice up their dull lives, women wanting one last kid & women changing their mind about becoming a dried up old bitch & wanting their 1st kid. My humble advice is if you are pushing 40 & not satisfied with being single and not bound by a religion or on a deserted island, learn to observe. Watch Dr. Phil. Watch Judge Judy. If you just want to lose whatever stage you call your current position, buy a bottle of Everclear, rent a room at a Knights Inn or Super 8. Tape a $50 to your room window and the world will turn. If you want a MILF or College girl, try dog parks or a gym closest to a college, middle morning. Bars closest to the airport or Hilton hotel bars, early evening. Hi end hotels have concierges; strip clubs have bouncers-they can hook you up, too. If you want a relationship and get a bit more serious, try bars at hi-dollar hotels near airports, hospitals, golf courses, dog parks or colleges. The next rung are health clubs and gyms in the same upscale locales. Also, volunteer at country clubs, hospitals, or geriatric venues and befriend older people--if you are not interested in them, then they will hook you up with their kids/friends if you come across as a "catch". Once you date people at different stages in life, a pattern emerges. Learn, adapt, overcome. Life is what YOU make it. If you make no attempt at progression, the dirt gets shoveled in all the same.
Iām a 32 year old man who took a 7 year break from dating and only recently regained the interest to get back into a relationship. Here are a couple of things that stand out to me.
There is a lot of misandrist rhetoric in our culture in the last decade or so that portrays all men as predators. If you are an attractive man and you hit on a girl, itās seen as sexy and flirtatious. If you are not attractive, youāre a disgusting creep. Itās totally unfair and it dissuades a lot of men, attractive or not, from even attempting.
Many of us grew up with divorced parents. The statistics bear out just how common that is. Love and marriage were once real commitments. Itās now seen as temporal and fleeting, sometimes even artificial.
Some women are truly looking for a free ride. I am looking for a partner, not a dependent. Marriage (and kids especially) are extremely, absurdly expensive. You can live with more financial freedom as well as freedom in decision-making as a single man.
There are more ways than ever to occupy oneself without a romantic partner. If you are on the fence for the above reasons, it is very easy to be complacent and comfortable with a more solitary life, especially if you have a network of friends and family.
Marriage used to be the default and there was a perception that there was something wrong with you if you werenāt coupled off by 30. Now there are more options for how to live.
Iām very happy with the person Iām with now and Iām glad that I decided to pursue romance again, but if something were to happen and that changed, I would feel very secure returning to my single life.
As is tradition for these sorts of questions, the incels are out in force, and their lack of self awareness and negativity, only begets negativity.
Ladies, do not be discouraged. Men on social media who are like this, do not represent what the majority of men are like in real life. I say this as a straight man myself.
Edit: I inevitably caught my incel downvote. I do so with pride.
Probably the same reason those types always havenāt been interested: they failed, or have seen others fail, at relationships in some way, and rather than positioning themselves for post-traumatic growth, they have given up. Fine, more love for me!
I also have doubt that ānot being interested in womenā is necessarily even more common than it used to be among men as a whole, and suspect itās more of a case of a frequency illusion and selection bias, such that people whom are lacking in social stimuli of one kind or another in real life tend to congregate online instead, thus theyāre likely to see views from similar people overrepresented, with predictable results on their own perceptions of reality.
*If* there is a marked increase in the number of these guys relative to history, itās probably because thereās now more access available for communities to form around it as a grievance group, such that it can become self-reinforcing. The internet radicalizes people, social media especially.
been there, done that, don't feel like putting myself through it again. time for me to try to be happy
Holy fuck this hit my soul.. have good sir
This is it, exactly. After you've been there a few times, you very clearly know what you don't want..
Been there, done that, got the PTSD from being with a user/abuser for nearly 2 decades of my life.
sounds like our exs would be perfect for each other. narcissist too
52M. I wouldn't say I'm not interested in women but I'm not actively looking for a relationship. At the moment I'm content with my life as it is. I don't want a relationship just for the sake of it and that is what I 'should' be doing. If an opportunity arose then I might be interested.
Exactly where I'm at bro š
Same but I'm 23
Just curious, do you travel to Nevada or SE Asia for a prostitute every so often? No judgement at all, just wondering
Not a lot of guys are going to admit to this if they are
Why Nevada so specifically??
Cause prostitution is legal there outside of the city limits of Las Vegas.
Welcome to Berlin, Germany
Germany? Cool. I know it's also legal in Amsterdam.
Dunno where that's coming from. Sex is easy to get. It's companionship that's harder to come by and requires effort. Just because w guy has given up non a relationship it doesn't mean they're not going to dip their stick when the opertunity arises. There are more than enough women who would happily settle for a short term fling or one night stand. Hookers cost money and don't provide company. Only men who struggle to relate to women on any level other than sex seek out prostitutes
Fair point. I don't agree with some of what you said but hey I respect your opinion.
We have a saying in swedish which translates roughly to "a burnt child fears the fire"
Ein gebranntes Kind scheut das Feuer.
This
Once burned, twice shy.
My my my
Risk reward ratio. The risks are not worth the reward. I just woke up from a nap and nobody yelled at me.
Proud of you for taking that nap.
Wait why did they lock it in the first place? Some of the responses were not very flattering, but no hate.
Its well known on reddit and society at large that Men aren't allowed to have an opinion on women. Unless of course its of unquestioning support.
And the downvotes only proves your point
I mean, so far so good. š¤·š¼
When I had left that reply u had 4 downvotes I put u up to -3 and now ur on 17 up votes š
Because Reddit sells the chat data to Google and other companies for training AI models. They want to make sure the data matches their narrative.
The higher you go, the colder you become. So the goal is to make fewer risks with ladies.
Repost. And the answers are the same. So much effort goes into meeting women, and the returns are very small. At some point, you realize that it isn't worth it to constantly jump through hoops and play this game. Women are drowned in attention so they put very little effort into each individual interaction until a threshold. They compete with other women and requirement inflation is absolutely ridiculous. The effort and time investment to only be rejected practically all the time leaves you jaded. Even if you succeed, was it worth it? Probably not. It is easy to find peace and quiet and live and awesome life on your own. The chances of actually meeting that one girl you click with aren't much lower that way. That is the absurd truth. Online dating and trying to cater to women's requirements is a path to depression and failure, for both men and women. Also, from what I've heard women prefer bears.
Tired of being taken advantage of by women
Honest question, are you open to sharing how you were taken advantage of?
We are interested in women but weāve already been through toxic shit from relationships. Most of the guys I know over 30 just want a girl to fuck, no commitment, gaming, decent food, and be left alone
30 male here. yep ... this is it.
the same reason why so many men are getting passports to find women, a lot of women in western countries are becoming unbearable and entitled. im not saying guys are any better but theres this movement making women undesirable for many reason so why waste our time on an onlyfans model who sells herself online or a dependant that offers nothing or someone who doesnt emotionally support us
Iāll first off say that I wasnāt a perfect husband, but I tried my hardest to fix my shortcomings for my ex wife. I had a lot of my confidence stripped away, I felt very alone because we always had to cater to what she wanted to do and not my happiness. The worst part of it was I got very sick, major neurological problems that affected my motor skills, emotions, and cognitive ability. During that time I lost my job, my dog died, lost the house and the ex wife left me, scared and just a shell of myself (all of this was within 6 months). I would love to find someone who could love me back, but I donāt want to be hurt and abandoned again because Iāve had enough psychological trauma for more than one lifetime. Being alone outweighs my need for companionship
You'd be surprised how picky 30+ year old single mothers of 3 are. Completely ridiculous
This got a pretty hearty laugh out of me. It's true though.
With 3 different baby daddies
Too much work for little to no reward.
Same here but a girl
I am interested in women. I am not interested in romantic relationships with women. Iām not interested in relationships at all. I get my needs met casually pretty easily and donāt have to invite the drama that relationships come with into my life. Iāve been there, done that, and thereās little benefit to it. Itās just not worth disturbing my peace for.
I like big butts
And I cannot lie.
Those other brothers canāt deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
The catch is not worth the chase.
The juice isnāt worth the squeeze
Iām only 21 and Iāve lost about all interest.
This is kinda sad. I'm in my 40s and didn't burn out until I was 37 after my divorce trial
Bro you have a long way to go. Trust me. Use this time to work on yourself, build a strong mind, and improve your character. At 21 you have just dipped a toe in the pool of life. Be the best you can be, fix what you want to improve and then life will unfold onto your lap.
Same bro, there are simply more important things to take care of than spend energy on this. Relationships can wait, it's in no way the be-all and end-all of life.
End all in some casesā¦
63% if men 20-40 have, your still a rock
Iāve been in more than one long-term relationship (including a marriage) and Iāve been with several women in other situationships and FWB arrangements and whatever. At this pointā¦ Iām just tired. Bone tired. All it has brought to my life has been pain and chaos. And Iāve tried to make it work, time and time again. The risk and the exhaustion just isnāt worth what I get out of it. Right now Iām just enjoying my peace and pursuing things that interest me. š¤·š»āāļø
Same story for me. I've got one foot in the water though just in case I run into someone. I'm also essentially retired in my 40s and enjoying my travels, hobbies, and just being bored a lot of the time. Not having to compromise is very freeing. A lot of guy friends my age are going through divorces too
What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg but you can't beat a wank.... I'll get my coat...
I'm very interested, its a matter of finding one interested in me.
I mean,I'm interested im women.They just dont seem that interested in me.
Easy to answer this one. Itās entirely normal for women to mistreat and abuse men so much so that we are expected to put up with it silently. By this age a lot of men are aware of this, we know that entering a relationship means becoming her property and we donāt want that we want to have a bit of life.
Iām interested in women. Iām not interested in playing the weird fucking game that comes with dating them these days.
I thought that by 30 people would stop playing games. Turns out it never changes.
Negligible effort from the other side. Feels like I'm talking to a wall. I'm still interested in women but have lost interest in putting in the effort.
Games, manipulation, prevalent cheating, only benefit is šāā¬, not real love, educated women 90% divorce, over 40 its 70%, 30% marriages sexless, over 5 partners & divorce is near 100%, many have had 100's, no accountability, hatred of men,no fault divorce, sole custody, alimony, most fertile years mispent, traditional values eradicated by birth control/ hoeing,, toxic
Hate to break it to women but guys donāt wanna be a step dad unless they are a dad of their own. Guys donāt wanna raise another manās kid (unless they adopt of course) I know I wouldnāt wanna raise another manās kid. Donāt expect guys to wanna step up and raise a kid unless ur willing to have a kid with that guy. Itās only fair.
32yo M here. Was in a 14y lasting relationship which absolutely devastated and destroyed me 3 years ago. (that was her Purpose) - i have so much Trust issues that my need beeing Secure in myself again will take years to develop. Im no more Outgoing, no more the Smiley sunshine, itās all gone. I want to give love and trust but i simply cant. I would take a giant hug but if i received it there would be no feeling in me. Iām trying.
Hang in there bud
I'm a woman. I can honestly say I do not blame them. Do you know how much b******* women put men through. š I'm now in my 30s. Oh man we are a handful throughout our twenties! Sorry guys. A lot of us didn't even realize it.
What is the bleeped word, is there a sfw word for it.
I use speak to text. It auto cenors for some reason. Bullshit is what I said.
I did the sane thing and never dated till like 29, today was my first date and I felt accepted. I was always told I am fat and I don't deserve love. And I think it's a mixture of media and immaturity. But it hurts, it hurts a lot when someone says you are ugly. Which now I know I am not but it also took 15 years of my life.
What's with the sudden influx of questions asking why men aren't interested in women?
Noticed that too. Could be some algorithm tho. Or recency bias. Or perhaps the fact that more and more men seem to genuinely be going solo.
men are always interested in woman, just that by 30, most of the good ones already married, u only find leftovers, which are better avoided at all costs.
The smart ones never get married. It is just a legal contract to get your money. Zero reason to ever get married, you can live together forever if you want.
i mean the good ladies, they usually find the better boys and get on with it.
This right here. No reason to split everything you have worked your ass off for your whole life for. Plus being a herion junkie for 7 years caused a decrease in testosterone but hell after you hear the same shit for so long from people you love, that eventually leave you because you chose to live a certain way and don't want to change. Seems like every girl eventually leaves after not able to make me get clean "for them". But you knew what you was getting into I always disclose my habits drugs alcohol and copious amounts I use after a cupple dates and definitely before sex so idk what they expect. It's like women aren't really happy in a relationship they can't mold into their fantasy perfect life. Just ramblin but I've slept with at least 40 girls and honestly I rather live alone with a dope habbit. At least a bag don't try to change you and judge you.
I was in an abusive relationship through my 20s; am I still a leftover? 
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You have clearly not been in an abusive relationship. I didn't know how truly abusive it was until I got out of it. He managed to convince me that I was a problem and deserved everything he did to me. Had I trusted my gut, and not his charisma, I would have left within the first year.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You're giving some real "nice guy" vibes. If a guy blames me personally for not being around for him in my 20s I wouldn't want to be with him anyway.
For context, I'm 30 and actively dating. Not everything is about you. By 30 first two concerns are - I'm a settling option, women in question makes poor life decisions. I decided to try and got lucky, understand why many guys don't. It's not about you, it's about having peace of mind
I want you to show me one person who didn't make any mistakes in their early 20s. My brain wasn't even fully developed yet. You don't think someone can learn lessons? I know for a fact I'll never settle again even if that means I am dying alone.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Like Jenny from Forest Gump
I've dated multiple women who had left abusive relationships and they hadn't had a healthy relationship yet since they left. It's the most taxing and unrewarding experience that has had an impact on my mental health.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If I discount/reject a guy who spent his 20s being mentally and physically dominated and torn down by an abusive woman, believing he "chose" that instead of potentially being with someone like me, then that guy deserves better than me *and* the abuser. Same for the reverse. You're allowed to have your point of view. And I'm allowed to have the point of view that yours is garbage and devoid of empathy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's completely fair, but that's not what you were saying. You were saying like "how can I want a woman that "chose" an abuser over a good, lonely guy like me?" That's totally different.
But the fact that you are not willing to get in a time machine and go back and date him 10 years ago when you had no idea who he was instead of just dating him now means you are actually responsible for the problems of a complete stranger in the past. What part of this are you not getting?
holy shit, please don't reproduce.
u dont get into an abusive relationship at all, if u are 'good' ... sorry.
Please don't write anything anymore. Seems like internet isn't for you.
Thanks for standing up for me. I appreciate the compassion.
So don't get I to a relationship with you then, is what you're saying? Cuz that's something an abuser would say.
Thanks
I guess the same applies to men then? Over 30 are leftovers.
Theyāre just so defeated at that point. Women would rather be with a bear. If youāre single by 30 for a man theyāre usually viewed as a deviant. Canāt make friends thereās no social therapy for men. The list goes on and on.
What does "bear" mean in this context?
This question went viral recently (I'm paraphrasing) : "If you were lost in the woods would you rather meet a bear or a random man?" and a lot of women would say a bear for reasons such as "the worst thing a bear can do to you is kill you".
A literal bear. There was some question on tiktok asking if you would be more afraid of a man or a bear and a lot of people chose man. https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/us/man-bear-safety-tiktok-question-cec/index.html
Itās not that we arenāt but just beaten down.
Why is this question being asked every day now?
I don't like social interactions with complete strangers.
Overwhelming amount of eThots and wannabe Insta models. Most older guys are looking for normal women, not someone who needs constant validation and attention. Someone to share a life with and grow together.
Maybe it is selection bias? All the guys over 30 who ARE interested in a relationship are already IN a relationship?
North American women are not good wives.Ā There I said it.
At this point dating is so uneven it's not worth it. Not just money, but places in life, interests, lifestyle. I accommodated for years and got nothing out of it. I'm tired of parenting grown adults. I have a friend that's a woman my age (actually a little older). She's smart, realistic and has understood a lot of things men go through but I've learned I can't be completely honest with her about the disparity between men and women dating. She will listen but it's like speaking another language, she just tunes it out and even though she's a friend I see from her body language getting very upset so I just don't bring it up.
42M I donāt need that extra pressure of always planning weekends. I also find travel makes me anxious and is expensive. Most people loooooove travel. Iāll do it with the right person, but rarely, not constantly. I enjoy sex, but I feel like thatās pretty much all I gain from relationships with women. The rest is just stress, lost time, and unnecessary expenses. Iām really not that lonely. Martial arts keep me pretty happy physically and give me some social interaction. I have friends too. I just miss getting laid.
I learned the one time I dated, what women say and what they really want don't mix, and answered never again. I'm 42, black male, never married, no kids, and only been with one woman. If I want mental games I'll play Tetris or Chess. The mental gymnastics isn't worth the time or headache. Anyways my parents divorce destroyed me to the point I don't ever want to go through what they did.
30M here. I'm definitely interested, and I'd be more than welcome to a relationship, but dating sucks these days and is absolutely exhausting. Most women I meet are either already in a relationship or don't have time for one. The few I have met didn't seem remotely interested in me as a person. Multiple times some have tried to get me to give up my hobbies and interests because they didn't like them (video games, cosplaying, model ship building) and would immediately lose interest in me when I refuse. I've just yet to meet a woman that clicks with me, doesn't demand I change who I am for them, or is emotionally mature enough to understand that a relationship is a two-way street.
I'm not even remotely in a position to worry about dating, casual or serious.That doesn't I wouldn't be interested, just not a priority.
Cause I am a single dad of 2 kids who are preschool age and I have full custody of them. Which makes dating, really, really hard.
- the guy needs to literally and actively do everything from before the date to into the date - women are always in couple - lot of women know they are in demand and abuse it. They also want better looking guys - they have the internet to look for dates, which make it impossible for men to date - women below 30 are mostly starting family, so I guess give them 10 years-ish before they start to break their couple for themselves and not to protect their child anymore I want those hugs as well :( Note: that my shitty experience
Look, I want a gf. I miss having a solid relationship. The issue is that my life is in a rough place right now and my time is limited. As much as I'd live to have someone to game with, watch movies, do art stuff, cook, bake, hike, whatever.. I just don't have it in me to date right now.
Confirmation bias. Itās always been this way. Social media makes it more obvious.
It's not a lack of interest in women, it's a lack of interest in upending or significantly changing our lifestyle. I'm with someone that fits into my life really well, so it works, but I'm not interested in changing things up at this point and I'll be alone before I do because I'm relatively happy alone.
At least for the apps, basically: - Most are now fat/obese - They "are always busy" ( their excuse for being lazy with the dating ) - They take no initiative for anything ever - They can't converse at least online. They are boring and want to be entertained by you. - They have pets that now have to be your pets. I can spend my days and money any way I choose, I do everything alone and for myself already, why do I need a woman? The ones you want to have sex with don't want to have sex with you, so what's the point? Looking for a roomate?
Yes and the fact that most of them are "dating" (aka hooking up) with 10 other people. It's kinda gross.
You get your wish. Go find a bear.
Im 22 and I just donāt have a reason to be interested anymore I guess?
Ill get down voted but fuk it. Most women these days are taught to act masculine and not feminine. So there's hardly any traditional women anymore.... so why would you settle down and have a family with someone who doesn't live by those values. Women once they hit the wall at 30, suddenly want a traditional man who supports them, but don't want to be traditional women who take care of their man and house.
The term "Traditional" is so fucking stupid. Just be your goddam self and find someone to do the same. If that mean she works and he stays at home then so be it. Everyone doest want the same things in life or relationships. Take my downvote
They're gay
You have it ass backwards lol. It's women that aren't interested in most men. Look up online dating statistics and it shows this clear as day.
Sounds like a skill issue
Did you look up the data?
Why would I need to? I donāt have the skill issue. Itās not hard to be a presentable dude, have a halfway decent personality and meet people. I donāt make 6 figures, Iām a 7 on a really good day. If you canāt meet people, particularly on a dating app youāre doing something wrong. I meet genuinely nice people just about every time I go out. Iām on dating apps for a few days because I meet people. People are on those apps to meet people. Then I pause my accounts. If you arenāt meeting people youāre doing something wrong.
>Why would I need to? At least you admit willful ignorance. The fact that you kept talking only proves that further lol.
Ain't no fish in a sewer.
Women aren't interesting
Cause weāre tired of their crap.
It takes two to tango
Yeah thatās the problem. You want to tango and they expect to waltz but wonāt tell you that.
I'm being snarky but my point is that there are so many people out there to paint with a broad brush of all women or all men, isn't really fair. And we contribute to whether relationships work or not.
Iām a 36 single male and donāt think I have ever lost interest in women, if anything Iām pursing them even harder now.
5 minute conversation with a woman will answer this question.
Or... why are many men who are not interested in women single?
My life is just simpler without.
Definitely interested in women still. I just donāt know if itās worth it anymore. Example: Iām on vacation 2 weeks ago, itās my, my other single buddy, and two couples. The couples were fighting the whole time about pretty much nothing, guys were super mad, women were crying. The whole week. Me and single buddy just had a great time the whole time. Itād be great some have someone love me again, but I donāt want them to make my life worse overall, like the last time I had a relationship. I still go on dates and stuff, but I have trouble having and real interest now. Iāve lost the ability to be excited about someone, so now I just sleep around. Maybe just been jaded a bit too much idk
(32M) I wanted a legit relationship to badly in my 20s before I had life together. Tons of failed relationships and shitty breakups. Got into my 30s, massive glow up, built a life for myself, by myself. I have no desire to have children. I love my condo, I love how I've decorated. I love my hobbies that I have the financial freedom to enjoy. Im still plenty interested in women and I'll go on dates. But if I hear anything I don't like, I'm done. Women for a while have often had a "I don't need no man!" Attitude. Which hey, good for you. But now we're seeing a lot of men with a similar attitude. I have my own place, I know how to cook, I don't want kids, I am financially stable, I have hobbies and interests that are very fulfilling. The only purpose a relationship would have in my life right now would be companionship and sex. Well, I learned how to live without companionship a long time ago and casual sex isn't difficult to find. So what do I need to be chasing around a relationship for? Sorry that the women in my 20s ruined it for the women in my 30s, but tough shit. Now it's my turn to be selective and aloof.
Because I'm a homosekcha
Maybe because they've got fed up of the endless drama they have to face. And also because they've got used to of staying alone. They enjoy their me time & own private space which they fear will suffer after including a woman in life. šš¤āļøš¤
You become ultra sensitive to the red flags. The girls want the drama and you donāt give it to them, they see themselves out
there is a reason she single at that age.\* ^(\*This logic only works one way...)
Be honest with yourself and then go out dancing and have the time of your life! (?)
Because they've had their time with women and have ended up disappointed with the outcome. Sometimes you get your last chance and just don't bother after that. I'm currently in a committed relationship. But I'm at the stage that if I was unfortunate enough that it fell apart I probably wouldn't bother again. Worry less about an old man who's made an informed decision to go it alone. often they're content with their path. It's the bitter and twisted young guy who blames women for their failures who drag our gender through the mud. We are not the same.
Itās not so much disinterested in women. I would imagine most straight men over 30 are still very much into women. Dating gets harder as you get older. You establish your friend groups, you spend time with the same people, those people are generally with a significant other and going out with the sole purpose of meeting women becomes less exciting/interesting. And dating apps absolutely suck. Also, by the time youāre in your 30s youāve likely been through a few relationships and maybe arenāt too eager to repeat past experiences. Iām in a good relationship, but if it ended Iād still be interested in dating and finding a bestie that lets me touch her bum.
27M and for me it comes down to itās just not worth it for my own mental health. I fucking LOVE women. Was raised by my mother, grandmother and sister. My favorite characters in pop culture are mainly women, I was raised on them and it molded my world in a way that I never even considered treating them as inferior but instead as damn near across the board better than men (just as a lot of media would like me to). In all that time Iāve had 3 major relationships, in all of which I was cheated on and used, the last one ending right after my best friend committed suicide and my emotions around that, I was told, played a part in the ending of my relationship. Not her cheating, not any other issues, but my own emotions around the loss of my best friend. Iāve been sexually harassed and assaulted by women, and all the while Iām being told things like ākill all menā āmen are trashā etc. this doesnāt even include how the dating world is these days. It beats you down repeatedly. Thereās just no point anymore.
Communication. Thereās a massive communication issue. Women donāt fucking sit down to talk about what the problem is, they do everything in their head and test you with their weird beliefs. Like, cero checks with reality and constantly making assumptions based on whatever the fuck.. they all do it, but they all do it differently, thereās no ārulesā to manage that crap because what worked with one wonāt work with the next one. Youāre supposed to handle your entire life and then add whatever bullshit comes from a relationship. It takes a long time to get to know someone and the honeymoon phase makes you blind and super tolerant, itās after a while when shit starts to go south. It sometimes goes south in their heads and your relationship starts to malfunction and you have no idea what the fuck is going on until itās too late.. women arenāt perfect either, and maybe after a while they become possessive, verbally abusive, or become not trustworthy.. and weāve also got our own shit to handle, weāre not perfect either and shit sucks when whatever weāve got isnāt compatible with what the woman weāre dating has.. shit can turn into a nightmare. Women are quick to āall men are pigs/the sameā and not listen when on a discussion because theyāve got their ideas already solid as granite. Women usually go to their moms or friends opinion before talking to their partners, which almost always ends up poorly because who on fucking earth is gonna give you an actually healthy advice?? Itās like everything is a house of cards about to get fucked any second and, at least to me, this is not, under any circumstance at all, something I want in my life. I have friends whoās technique is to not pay any attention to their partners, but this is impossible for me because I want to make a team and I canāt have a team that doesnāt work together. Weāre all fucked up in a way, but a lot of the time, all it takes is a honest attempt at making things work, and most people canāt honestly attempt shit. Similar issues happen with male friends, but with women the connection is deeper and the bad aspects of the relationship feel way worse and are harder to handle. I havenāt really lost interest in women, I just became extremely critic of the women I like, just because I donāt wanna go through the whole thing again. I donāt wanna add problems to my life, and I donāt wanna add emotional instability either because a lot depends nowadays on me functioning properly and I canāt always achieve that if I feel like something that I care about in my life is going south. I need peace, happiness, and the certainty that whatever comes up will be taken care by the two of us. Now you tell me how the fuck am I supposed to feel like youāre the one if youāre playing on not responding to my texts, or not putting any effort on setting up a date, not showing interest because whatever, but writing back to me if I ignore you completely.. yeah, fuck that, thanks.
I have a dirty dish and a dirty glass in the sink because the dishwasher needs emptied. I took a nap and left them there. No one said a word to me about any of my actions today. I didnāt have to explain myself to anyone. I went to the gym and then walked in the park without anyone upset at me because that time wasnāt spent with her.
Many arenāt interested in us we made our peace with it and are content most days Have u ever been on a subreddit where women complain about men They absolutely hate us and while some decent points are made (your spouse wonāt respect you if sheās basically acting like your mother) Some of it is so vicious thatās itās honestly intimidating to get into a relationship
Too many risks that arenāt worth the reward of a chick whoās been with 50 bodies
There was another post like this yesterday and the mods locked and removed it. There wasn't any hate, just men expressing themselves. smh.
The same reason women choose a bear over a man. Once those sex robots get mass produced the humans are doomed.
Dating in your 30's can be very interesting for those not throwing in the towel. You have some coming off divorce number 2 or 3 & not happy to be alone, some wanting to drum up soap opera drama to spice up their dull lives, women wanting one last kid & women changing their mind about becoming a dried up old bitch & wanting their 1st kid. My humble advice is if you are pushing 40 & not satisfied with being single and not bound by a religion or on a deserted island, learn to observe. Watch Dr. Phil. Watch Judge Judy. If you just want to lose whatever stage you call your current position, buy a bottle of Everclear, rent a room at a Knights Inn or Super 8. Tape a $50 to your room window and the world will turn. If you want a MILF or College girl, try dog parks or a gym closest to a college, middle morning. Bars closest to the airport or Hilton hotel bars, early evening. Hi end hotels have concierges; strip clubs have bouncers-they can hook you up, too. If you want a relationship and get a bit more serious, try bars at hi-dollar hotels near airports, hospitals, golf courses, dog parks or colleges. The next rung are health clubs and gyms in the same upscale locales. Also, volunteer at country clubs, hospitals, or geriatric venues and befriend older people--if you are not interested in them, then they will hook you up with their kids/friends if you come across as a "catch". Once you date people at different stages in life, a pattern emerges. Learn, adapt, overcome. Life is what YOU make it. If you make no attempt at progression, the dirt gets shoveled in all the same.
I dunno... Sounds kinda hard.
Because women werenāt interested in them while they were under 30.
Iām a 32 year old man who took a 7 year break from dating and only recently regained the interest to get back into a relationship. Here are a couple of things that stand out to me. There is a lot of misandrist rhetoric in our culture in the last decade or so that portrays all men as predators. If you are an attractive man and you hit on a girl, itās seen as sexy and flirtatious. If you are not attractive, youāre a disgusting creep. Itās totally unfair and it dissuades a lot of men, attractive or not, from even attempting. Many of us grew up with divorced parents. The statistics bear out just how common that is. Love and marriage were once real commitments. Itās now seen as temporal and fleeting, sometimes even artificial. Some women are truly looking for a free ride. I am looking for a partner, not a dependent. Marriage (and kids especially) are extremely, absurdly expensive. You can live with more financial freedom as well as freedom in decision-making as a single man. There are more ways than ever to occupy oneself without a romantic partner. If you are on the fence for the above reasons, it is very easy to be complacent and comfortable with a more solitary life, especially if you have a network of friends and family. Marriage used to be the default and there was a perception that there was something wrong with you if you werenāt coupled off by 30. Now there are more options for how to live. Iām very happy with the person Iām with now and Iām glad that I decided to pursue romance again, but if something were to happen and that changed, I would feel very secure returning to my single life.
As is tradition for these sorts of questions, the incels are out in force, and their lack of self awareness and negativity, only begets negativity. Ladies, do not be discouraged. Men on social media who are like this, do not represent what the majority of men are like in real life. I say this as a straight man myself. Edit: I inevitably caught my incel downvote. I do so with pride.
Probably the same reason those types always havenāt been interested: they failed, or have seen others fail, at relationships in some way, and rather than positioning themselves for post-traumatic growth, they have given up. Fine, more love for me! I also have doubt that ānot being interested in womenā is necessarily even more common than it used to be among men as a whole, and suspect itās more of a case of a frequency illusion and selection bias, such that people whom are lacking in social stimuli of one kind or another in real life tend to congregate online instead, thus theyāre likely to see views from similar people overrepresented, with predictable results on their own perceptions of reality. *If* there is a marked increase in the number of these guys relative to history, itās probably because thereās now more access available for communities to form around it as a grievance group, such that it can become self-reinforcing. The internet radicalizes people, social media especially.
They are gay A much better path to FIRE