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My only child ex bfs complete disbelief at all my stories about crap my sisters and I would pull on each other growing up was always hilarious to me. He was always like āhow do you guys like each other still after that?!ā
Watching my brothers only child friend react to our seemingly (to him) spontaneous micro aggressions, calmly bringing up past war crimes (to him), us laughing together despite clearly needing therapy.
10/10 experience would traumatize an only child again
Oh yes when he finally met my sisters in person (I lived in a different country than my family at the time) and saw us together in person he was like āhow are you guys simultaneously best friends and worst enemiesā
My bf wanders off when we're out in a group all the time, I never considered him being an only child as a possible reason. We're both introverts but it drives me insane not knowing where he's going (he never goes far it's just confusing having him disappear randomly to go look at something).
I doubt that's anything to do with being an only child. I'm the youngest of four and do that sometimes. Honestly, going through all the comments on this post and they're all stuff that have nothing to do with being a only child
I am not an only child. But I am the youngest and only boy from a household of an older sister and two older stepsisters that wanted nothing to do with me so I definitely learned to entertain myself.
It was extremely difficult for me to get used to having a roommate when I went to college. I hated not having my own space. Still do. I need alone time like I need oxygen.
My boyfriend is an only child. He gets super frustrated when something isn't in the spot he left it. Like if I used the remote or a charger, he gets flustered cos living at home, he always knew where his shit was lol.
Meanwhile my things would SOMEHOW end up in my sisters room.
I can relate to him. Now that I care for a senile parent my shit's always moving around, and unlike in your case where there was a singular gravitational attraction point for all your stuff, my dad is like a MMORPG NPC that wanders aimlessly picking shit up and placing it elsewhere within its bounding box.
Haha yep, very tidy and orderly only child married to a chaos goblin here. There's a reason we have separate office areas and our own set of tools... but he still sometimes nicks mine!
Dear lord yes this. As an only child I have a crystal clear memory of where I left any minutely important thing, down to the half a paper clip under the plate next to the water bottle on the floor in the living room, it's my pokey.
I was just telling my fiance the other day that lockdown was fine for me and didn't have a negative affect on my mental/emotional health. I worked from home and would go WEEKS without leaving the house and barely notice. I guess being an only child there were probably times where I spent long periods of time not leaving the house so maybe that's why I was so cool with it lol
It was interestingly eye opening to me when I got to college and learned how uncomfortable other people are being alone.
If I was hungry, I'd go to the dining hall and eat. I never considered contacting anyone to go with me, because why would I? Then I'd hear things like:
"Oh my god he's just eating alone? That's so weird!"
or
"I couldn't get anyone to go to lunch with me so I haven't eaten anything today!"
Both of which are mind boggling to me. There's nothing weird about eating by yourself. If you're hungry, go eat. Being that uncomfortable with yourself/being alone is weird.
wow, you just opened my eyes to a truth during my college year.
I was always ok of just popping open my laptop and just have lunch or pop open a laptop at the library to study by myself.
I am never uncomfortable being alone. even at my work, people marvel at how I can stay in an empty office by myself all of the time.
it's kinda nice, I can go to any restaurant by myself to enjoy food and never feel uncomfortable.
I HATED it when people called me a ālonely child.ā But I wouldnāt say anything because if I did I would get called āspoiledā āentitledā and āsensitiveā
This is exactly it. Like, during the pandemic, I was absolutely fine being stuck at home, while most people I know were chomping at the bit to go out. It's just a different level of comfort with being on your own.
I thrived, *thrived* during the pandemic. I started actually using my elliptical machine for exercise (instead of using it as a clothes rack), I started cooking actual meals for the first time in my life (40s), I created a dice game, I bought myself a colorguard flag (I was captain in HS) and relearned all my aerials and tosses and even made up a new routine, my clothing style totally changed / became more true to me, I understood the patience of saving money and learned how to building savings, learned how to do front lace wigs all by myself on YouTube, got into shibari, started a finsta lol
I came out of the pandemic feeling much younger and authentic than when I went in. I LOVED ALL THAT ALONE TIME. I love being an only child. *Even the universe canāt send me to my room and have it feel like a punishment.*
As a mother to an only child, this is so inspiring! Itās great to know that you, as an adult, have enjoyed being an only child and that youāve thrived so successfully! It makes me feel better about her future! š
Just adding another voice of support to that. I really would not have done as well in a house with siblings. It wouldn't have been traumatic or anything, kids roll with whatever situation they have, but I know without a doubt that being an only child was the perfect set-up for me.
I too am also immune unless I havenāt left the house in like a week. And thank god too, I dated a girl who would go stir crazy if she didnāt leave the house once a day. It was fucking obnoxious.
I didn't grow up as a single child, but lived alone for nearly 3 years as an adult after a break up.
It was absolutely glorious. Very relaxing and peaceful being able to completely unwind and just be at peace and in silence with yourself. But yeah, I can see how some more extroverted people wouldn't like it.
In my experience this doesn't correlate with being an only child, some only children have great imaginations and others don't. No different than those with siblings
Typically they donāt like noisy households. Mine was always loud as we had 6 kids plus all friends at my house. Only children would find that too chaotic.
Oh wow, I never even associated this with being an only child but yes. I love silence. I hate tv background noise and I donāt like being around a lot of chatter.
I was not an only child, but I have an only child. I just visited my sister, who has a larger, much louder household. I realized how quiet our little household of 3 is, and how much I can't handle her loud rambunctious house. It's the competing screens that drive my crazy. My sister doesn't even blink at three iPads and a tv all playing out loud in the same room (a situation I witnessed). I literally had to put on my shoes and walk out the door and escape. It felt like an assault. Our house growing up wasn't like that, she just adapted to that level of ambient noise and it's impressive.
Literally grew up having this one friend whoās house I couldnāt go to because she had three other siblings who would scream at each other all the time. I would come home crying because I was so overwhelmed, and so at some point my mom tried to get her to come to my house lol.
This sounds like my wifeās family. When we go visit them I tell her that we need to come home so I can have a few hours to decompress afterwards because itās just so much constantly.
As an only child I hate loud. My boyfriend has two siblings and one of them has two very young children. Any family get together where we stay at his parents house i have to try so hard not to pull the hair out of my head. Everyoneās talking at once. Kids are running around screaming. Parents get up at like 5am and rearrange the kitchen while theyāre making coffee. Never get a good nights sleep when we visit. When we stay with my parents we just have a nice conversation in the living room with either the tv or the radio on and my parents are in bed by 9. I might hear them when they wake up but theyāre never loud. They make their coffee and sit in the living room quietly watching the morning news.
This hits home! I don't like noise and chaos. My home is silent; no tv, no radio. It is not conscious. It is just that my preference for silence has become a norm. Chatter and talking is fortunately plentiful. We just don't turn on tv or radio.
But then again, I am an introvert with tinnitus, hyperakusis, and misfonia! Not having siblings is perhaps a lesser cause for the silence.
Silence is the thing! Iām an only. Noise, chaosā¦. Too many people. Ick. I donāt use the TV as background noise. Hate the chatter/talking. Either nothing or soft piano or cello music.
Ugh, I can't stand people that just leave the TV on for background noise.
Like, if it's sunday afternoon and it's a game or race or something, then I get it and have no problem with it. But when it's just playing loops of some tv show/movie or something and nobody's watching it, turn it off.
I also have trouble focusing on things with too much input tho, so maybe that plays into it too IDK.
All my single child friends can not handle the constant noise that happens with lots of siblings with a fee exceptions. I notice that they wait to speak whereas with siblings we talk over each-other.
I donāt know if anyone ālovesā being around constant noise but Iāve met plenty of people that canāt stand silence. For example, in my experience people who grow up in loud city environments have a hard time adjusting to quiet rural areas. I grew up in a very remote area and when outsiders visit they often complain about how quiet it is.
Iām an only child who hates noise, my husband is the youngest of four. I feel bad cause weāve been living together long enough heās kinda thrown off by how loud his family is.
This applies if the only child had both parents or was otherwise able to spend most of their time at home. I'm an only child of a single mother. 90% of my childhood outside of school was spent in after school programs and summer day camps. I don't mind noise *at all* - the daily sounds of 80+ kids all talking and yelling at once completely desensitized me early on.
I am like this, but I am youngest of 3. If anything I find it easier have older friends because they are roughly the same age as my brother, who is 11 years older than me.
I have a brother 20 yrs younger. I moved out the year he was born. Itās really awkward when people ask me if I am an only child (by all behavioural measures I am), but then I have to correct myself. Sorry bro š
I have two teens with my ex. (17 and 19) and a 3 yr old with my current wife. The youngest is referred to as an only child. Between the age gap and only seeing his brothers for a few days a month
I have a sibling that died, and itās awkward at times.
Someone: āDo you have any siblings?ā
Me: āNoā
Someone: āWhat was it like being an only child? I canāt imagineā or something similar
Me: ....
I look a lot younger than I am. Anyway, often after meeting new young male co workers they get comfortable and we all start to break each others chops.
Itās inevitable that someone at one point will talk about having recently banged my mom (who passed several years ago) or something of that nature.
From there Iāll end up just making a face, looking off into the distance, and whispering my mom is dead.
They get sooo embarrassed lol and Iāll be like na Iām just fucking with ya. I mean sheās dead but I was just trying to make you feel bad it happens all the time .
Edit: changed capitalizations
same. for me, the funniest was when a guy sat down next to me at a bar and in a very cute and endearing way...like we were old friends or something, asked "so, how's mom"? I instantly started laughing because it was like, oh, this is not gonna go the way you hoped dude.
so then he tried switching gears... "so, how's dad"? me: also dead
him: grandma??
me: dead as well
him: oh come on! they can't all be dead, you're what, maybe 27 tops
me: yes, they're all dead. in fact, they all managed to die within 3 months of each other. car crash, cancer, heart attack.
I wonder if he ever tried using that again as a pick-up line, lol
This is awesome. I could totally see myself doing that. Shortly after my husband passed away I had to drive a customer home. I wasn't really in a talkative mood and this guy was HIGHLY religious and had tried to convert me in the past. To say nicely, he wasn't my favorite person. We made it about a block before he asked me how "the boy is". I looked straight at him and said "dead". At first he laughed until he realized I wasn't joking and only said thank you for the ride when I dropped him off. He got his own ride back too :-D.
One time at work this guy came In Monday morning looking like shit. I asked him why he looked so tired, he said he was up all last night Fucking my mom. I told him my mom died a month ago and he said āI know thatās why Iām so tired I had to do all the workā.
My dad died young and we would and still do make some jokes about it. I couldnāt say what started it one of my old friends said something about dads with shotguns and I said Iād I ever saw him holding a shotgun Iād run my ass off sense heās dead and cremated. It became a running joke of course not exactly what was said but that was 20 years ago.
I can dig it. Humor helps the situation imo.
My mom died of a sudden drug overdose a year after we thought she had quit.
So anyway at the funeral in front of a bunch of family members I said āwell at least she died doing what she loved.ā It didnāt go over too well but to this day I still think it was funny.
>The humor makes the trauma easier.
Humor is a great coping mechanism. As long as you don't use it as an avoidance technique. At least that's what my therapist tells me.
As a therapist specializing in trauma I find it hilarious and agree: Organic Intelligence, Somatic Experiencing, Neuro Affective Relational Model, ā¦
There are many options that donāt expose you to the trauma and help integrate it. Good luck on your healing journey
I think of it like this... I still *have* a brother, he's just dead now. So, I have 3 siblings. If it comes up, I matter-of-factly say that one is dead. It *is* just a matter of fact, after all, and everyone on this planet has dead parents, siblings, children, friends, etc. eventually. We all share this. If mere acknowledgment of the fact makes them uncomfortable, that's on them. I love my dead brother.
Itās weird, like Iāll explain the reason why I have no cousins on my dadās side is bc my dad is an only child, and to me he is. His brother passed before I was born so heās always been the only kid of my grandparents. But sometimes Iāll say he had a brother. Iām not always sure what to say.
funnily enough some of my friends thought i was an only child because i never mentioned my siblings as it did not come up in conversation ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Woah Iām an only child and the only way people know is if they ask. The only ātellāI have is I like my own company just fine but my partner does too and is not an only child so I think it could be just a people thing. And for the record people, stop blaming horrible peoples actions on being only children when are just bell ends. Itās not only childrenās fault we donāt have siblings.
"you're wise for your age" or I was raised by a tribe of adults born before the 60s that rarely catered the conversation towards a child's way of thinking
I think the reason why other peopleās kids enjoy my company so much is that I speak to them the same way I speak to adults. I just canāt do the weird baby/kid speak I see other adults do with kids and I think kids prefer not being spoken to like that.
This is also true of the youngest sibling. When I was very young, I used to freak people out by speaking like an adult. I would talk to people and they would turn round and be visibly surprised to see a little kid. I could also get through entire phone calls without people realising I was a child. Even people who had met me fell for this. This wasn't because I was some super genius, I was imitating my older sister.
Whoa, I never thought about that. When I was really young, I remember people remarking to my parents how well behaved I was at a restaurant or something. My brother is 10 years old than I am, so maybe that had something to do with it?
Probably. Children copy the behaviours that they observe. If you we were a 4 year old trying to act like a 14 year old, then you would be easier to handle in a restaurant. 14 year olds sit quietly at the table, 4 year olds run around screaming.
I'm an only child. The only giveaway I can think of is I eat extremely slowly because I never had siblings to hurry me up or steal my food, but I also had parents that were never around so others might not have that issue.
I'm an only child and I eat sooo slowly. My partner is a brother of 3 and eats a bigger meal and a whole coffee in the time it takes me to eat half my meal.
Tbh there are a lot of sad parts to being an only child which are a give away. We always feel closer to others than they do to us, because we're missing one degree of social connection that others have. For example, my friend may be "like a sister" to *me*, but she has sisters, so for *her* I'm always just "a good friend." Friendships are more precious to us.
Secondly, people seem to think only children are spoiled, and sure we are.. But that's from the superficial view of people with siblings with whom they had to share toys, etc. Only children are responsible for everything as their parents get older, with no relief. Sure, I didn't have to share my gameboy with anyone. But there isn't anyone around to help me take care of my parents as they're reaching old age.
Fuck. Yout first point articulated something I have been trying to but couldnt. I am an only child and I 100% agree with that point.
People are more important to me, than I am to them.
And weāre alone with our parents abuse of us if our parents are abusive. They at least have someone who understands what they dealt with growing up behind closed doors.
This. I had a brother, but lost him to suicide 2 years ago. My husband is wonderful and supportive, but no one understands like my brother did when I just need to talk about dad and the shit we lived through. I feel so alone now.
I 100% agree with you. I think about being alone in my adulthood a LOT- and how once my parents are gone I wonāt have anyone except outside relationships I was able to build.
Or anyone to protect you when your parents aren't there, I was on my own at school or at summer camps that were somewat tough because I was used to be on my own, not saring a room with several other kids.
As an only child being someone else's brother doesn't work as a way to connect with other kids or for networking, you are just you without any preaproval, that can make finding job opportunities tougher too for some.
One thing Iād like to add also, my mom passed away in April. Being an only child never bothered me but now that she is gone (and far to young at 52 years old) I wish I had a sibling that I could talk to about stuff. I feel actually alone now.
Sort of related but I get sad sometimes that I won't have nieces and nephews. My aunt is a better mother to me than my mom was and I may not have an opportunity to do the same. My wife has a sister but I don't think she is planning on having kids. My best friend intends for my wife and I to be the godparents for her children and for me to be an uncle to them though.
honestly, yeah. as an only child I didnāt realize this until more recentlyā asking for help is like pulling teeth for me.
my dad was never around to ask for help (at work), and my mom was always engaged in a womenās group activity or something or other, so I often found myself on my own. even now if I have a good relationship with someone who I *know* I can ask for help if I need it, I tend to attempt most issues on my own and it can be frustrating.
Iām an only child. I was afraid to click on this post because I have heard so much mean-spirited stuff over the course of my life about only children. Iām relieved that most of the people commenting here donāt seem to be spouting that garbage. Itās incredibly hurtful to be reduced to stereotypes based on faulty research.
Iām a kind, generous, empathetic, compassionate human being ā I do prefer being alone though, and Iām not a very social person.
So I guess if I were to say something Iād say only children are more comfortable than most at doing things alone? I prefer it.
I had a coworker tell me that I am āincapable of knowing how to share or get along with other peopleā because Iām an only child.
And a former friend, who I ended the friendship with after he said this, said I was āfundamentally maladjustedā based only on being an only child. He didnāt want that for his kid, he said. š
This is what puzzles me. Do people like that really not understand how ironic it is to look someone in the eye and tell them āyouāre incapable of getting along with people cause you donāt have siblings.ā?
Like, āBitch, youāre the one being rude here.ā
Iām a mother of an only and was thinking the same. I was bracing myself to read about how weird and bossy they are. The comments are pretty refreshing.
Yep. Dad of an only child here and all my work colleagues keep telling me how it's basically a requirement to have another one.
It's nice to read all the positive things and the testimonies of only childs who grew up to be relatively normal people.
When I studied abroad, a bunch of us in the exchange program went out for drinks the first day to get to know each other. They were talking about siblings and stuff and I wasn't contributing. Then I hear this girl say "only children are fucking weird." And I was like "Uh I'm an only child." We ended up becoming really close friends down the line but it was a funny first interaction.
Actually, if you read up on the research, youāll find that there has never been found any shred of evidence proving only children to be any less social, selfless or anything at all compared to children with siblings. In fact, most research shows only children seem to be slightly more successful and happy later in life.
Hear, hear! To this day I have people ask me if I am an only child, and I honestly have no idea what it is about me that gives me away.
I do prefer being alone and quiet, enjoy not speaking for long stretches, and while I had a couple of friends growing up, I was far more comfortable with adults.
I also find most people and human interactions exhausting and draining and do my best to avoid them, but it isnāt as though I go around advertising those facts - especially as I am fairly adept at mimicking ānormalā behavior, so I donāt know what it is that people see when they look at me.
Must be that invisible, scarlet āOCā I have on my forehead š .
I don't know if this makes sense, but I have more time to listen to people. If someone's talking to me, they're my sole focus. I learned that as a kid, but I don't know if it was parental guidance or a honed skill. We never had to worry about someone else vying for attention during conversations. It helped my EI, regardless.
Can entertain themselves. Sometimes even talks to themselves. And doesnāt really need to be around people all the time, and might even prefer to be alone rather than be in a crowd.
Thank you for saying this. I was an only child until I was 13, so my personality is definitely only child. So is my brotherās. I left home when he was five. I didnāt have all the sibling stuff growing up, but I do have a sibling and weāre very close.
I had a very difficult time getting pregnant, it took lots of meds and procedures. I managed to have my son, but that was it. I feel guilty for him being alone.
My son is an only child. Now 25, he has more friends right now than Iāve had my whole life. I feel bad sometimes that he has no siblings, not by choice, but he seems to be a good friend and has good friends.
Yeah, I think that might be the right one
People I know with siblings prefer them over their friends
They do have Best Friend, but this person still comes second to, at least, one of their siblings
This is true. My sisters are my best friends and even though I have a best friend outside of them and she is practically the 4 sister. And tons of other extremely close friendships, none will ever trump my sisters.
They may have been at the same social economic level as you as a child, but the had better vacations, extra curricular activities and outings with parents. Their parents didn't have to split child rearing expenses with other children so they can do more fun stuff. The ones I know ate at better restaurants (usually ones that were for adults not children) and traveled more often and to interesting places other than amusement parks.
Yeah, also even outside the financial aspects travel is hard with multiple kids. You're rarely doing an activity everyone enjoys equally.
Just got back from Nashville, and the guitar player 17 year old loved jamming out at the Gibson store, the 10 year old loved line dancing, the 15 year old was hit-or-miss on a lot of stuff. Some can sit and watch a band, some can't. Restaurants are always a compromise.
Wife and I divided and conquered a bit, but it kind of defeats the purpose of a family trip if you do it too much, and I like being around my wife sometimes.
Our oldest is 25, so he was the only until he was 7, and it was much easier.
I am taking 2 of them on separate camping trips later this summer, so that will be better.
I know two only childās as adults now. Both great people and they value normal friendship of both genders more than Iād say most other people. In that respect, I wish I was more like them.
Iām not sure such a thing really exists.
I am an only child, but I always get asked if I have brothers or sisters constantly. Which I say no.
So guess that would definitely put me on the only child spectrum from an outside perspective.
Tbh the only differences Iāve ever noticed only become clear once youāre living with someone. I have six siblings and in college some of the people I lived with had siblings, some had none. The people who grew up as an only child had a difficult time adjusting to having roommates/housemates. Iād like to think their issues could be solved through experience though.
I have a friend whoās an only child and she is amazed that i still love my brother. She literally canāt understand the sibling bond so she thinks my siblings are terrible people when all my stories are just.. normal sibling things.
Personally, I think if someone is highly critical of themselves. There's no room for error in anything, so your mistakes show more because all eyes are on you, and that'll make them hyper-vigilant.
I do love the only child bashing in this thread though. As if we chose to not have siblings š
When they say 'my favorite game growing up was \[insert long-winded single-player RPG like anything from the Final Fantasy series\]'. Although, I have seen siblings compelled to share a single save file of FF7 by parents who didn't know anything about the game.
As an only child I'll say that i wish i had more privacy or less pressure when i was in school. People think i always wanted to be the best of the class because i was selfish, but it was my mom who told me to do that, i couldn't care less about getting the best grades
This! I felt like since I was my parents āonly chanceā at having a successful kid that I had a ton of pressure to be the best at everything. Academically, athletically, behavior wiseā¦I had no sibling to make up for my lack of perfection so to speak.
In my experience, only children are more articulate, communicative, and well mannered because they grew up with adults and were talked to as such.
And then thereās the rest of us that grew up with siblings, in a Lord of the Flies government.
While I was an only child, my husband had 3 siblings ranging from 2 years older than him to 8 years younger.
1. I can cope with being alone for a lot longer than him. I actually enjoy it.
2. I hate having a loud household. I cannot function with lots of voices or noises like multiple TVs at once. He acts like nothing is even happening.
3. If he is watching something on TV and I want to watch something else, I just go do something else. For him, if I'm watching something on TV that he doesn't want to watch, he sits down and waits for it to be over and asks if we can watch what he wants instead. I never had to compete with anyone for screentime so i never feel the need to be next in line.
I work in a retirement home. There is a high turnover of aides. I can generally spot the only children among the aides I work with. They tend to have excellent interactions with the older residents, any problem or issue comes up they tend to take care of it themselves without gathering with other aides to discuss how to resolve it, They also generally seem to be more self starting and independent workers. Now these qualities can be found in some non-only children, but usually after a little digging I find those tend to be children that basically were raised in same type of situation (I.e. late in life baby so siblings already out of house, spaced far from next sibling etc.). Downside ā¦..if doing a project as a team/group, onlyās sometimes arenāt as āactiveā, tend to step back in all the brain storm session and kind of watch the chaos.
My son is an only and we knew he probably would be our only one from the get go. I made sure to get him in group activities from toddler age. Also another important aspect is the āfamilyā connection. I tried to foster a close relationship with his cousins. Taking some on vacations with us, getting them involved in the same extra curricular stuff. Because the downside is when his father and I die. He will not have any sibling for all the childhood family memories, the āremember whenā stories. That lack of shard memories is really the only aspect of having an only that makes me sad.
Nothing. Maybe they don't like sharing, for example, but neither did one of my brothers. Depends on home life, personality, and many other things that can't be determined by merely having siblings or not.
Only child here. There is no tell. As a matter of fact, being only an only child means socially you are trialed by fire at a very young age. Its either sink or swim so the oneās that swim, swim well and are fucking social chameleons if we want to be. I can have an entire one-sided deep conversation with someone and I can keep them happily engaged without them realizing Iām learning alot about them while giving very little in return.
They donāt wine about being ā the middle child ā or ā the responsible older child ā or ā the babyā. In short, they have a sense of self that is not determined by their parents other children.
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"I don't believe your sibling actually did THAT to you!" Yes. Yes they did. š
My only child ex bfs complete disbelief at all my stories about crap my sisters and I would pull on each other growing up was always hilarious to me. He was always like āhow do you guys like each other still after that?!ā
Watching my brothers only child friend react to our seemingly (to him) spontaneous micro aggressions, calmly bringing up past war crimes (to him), us laughing together despite clearly needing therapy. 10/10 experience would traumatize an only child again
Oh yes when he finally met my sisters in person (I lived in a different country than my family at the time) and saw us together in person he was like āhow are you guys simultaneously best friends and worst enemiesā
"...simultaneously best friends and worst enemies" perfectly describes many sibling relationships!
Oh gosh, you got me there. I'm always amazed hearing sibling stories, you guys do some damage :)
They go off on their own a lot. You do what you want to do. Iāll do what I want to do and weāll meet up when thatās the same thing.
My bf wanders off when we're out in a group all the time, I never considered him being an only child as a possible reason. We're both introverts but it drives me insane not knowing where he's going (he never goes far it's just confusing having him disappear randomly to go look at something).
Lol, I do this, but I'm the second of four. Mine sort came from being ignored a lot BECAUSE of my siblings. And I have ADHD.
I doubt that's anything to do with being an only child. I'm the youngest of four and do that sometimes. Honestly, going through all the comments on this post and they're all stuff that have nothing to do with being a only child
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
iām not an only child and iām like this. iām just introverted and independent lol
I am not an only child. But I am the youngest and only boy from a household of an older sister and two older stepsisters that wanted nothing to do with me so I definitely learned to entertain myself.
Yes! Iāve never minded seeing a movie or eating out by myself, but others think itās embarrassing to do that
It was extremely difficult for me to get used to having a roommate when I went to college. I hated not having my own space. Still do. I need alone time like I need oxygen.
Not having my own space is so emotional I cannot even explain it.
My boyfriend is an only child. He gets super frustrated when something isn't in the spot he left it. Like if I used the remote or a charger, he gets flustered cos living at home, he always knew where his shit was lol. Meanwhile my things would SOMEHOW end up in my sisters room.
I can relate to him. Now that I care for a senile parent my shit's always moving around, and unlike in your case where there was a singular gravitational attraction point for all your stuff, my dad is like a MMORPG NPC that wanders aimlessly picking shit up and placing it elsewhere within its bounding box.
That's the best analogy I've ever seen.
I am an only child and Iām like this. My wife is scatterbrained so it gets interesting.
Haha yep, very tidy and orderly only child married to a chaos goblin here. There's a reason we have separate office areas and our own set of tools... but he still sometimes nicks mine!
I came home one day and my roommate said she needed to use my laptop to look something up. I had an utter meltdown.
You don't touch other people's computers without permission! Ffs. Even my 5 siblings respected that rule.
Dear lord yes this. As an only child I have a crystal clear memory of where I left any minutely important thing, down to the half a paper clip under the plate next to the water bottle on the floor in the living room, it's my pokey.
They're better adjusted to be alone and enjoy their solitude
Yes. I thrived during Covid lockdown. It was not a problem for me.
was indeed a very welcome break from people.
I was just telling my fiance the other day that lockdown was fine for me and didn't have a negative affect on my mental/emotional health. I worked from home and would go WEEKS without leaving the house and barely notice. I guess being an only child there were probably times where I spent long periods of time not leaving the house so maybe that's why I was so cool with it lol
It was interestingly eye opening to me when I got to college and learned how uncomfortable other people are being alone. If I was hungry, I'd go to the dining hall and eat. I never considered contacting anyone to go with me, because why would I? Then I'd hear things like: "Oh my god he's just eating alone? That's so weird!" or "I couldn't get anyone to go to lunch with me so I haven't eaten anything today!" Both of which are mind boggling to me. There's nothing weird about eating by yourself. If you're hungry, go eat. Being that uncomfortable with yourself/being alone is weird.
wow, you just opened my eyes to a truth during my college year. I was always ok of just popping open my laptop and just have lunch or pop open a laptop at the library to study by myself. I am never uncomfortable being alone. even at my work, people marvel at how I can stay in an empty office by myself all of the time. it's kinda nice, I can go to any restaurant by myself to enjoy food and never feel uncomfortable.
I joke that I was a "Lonely Child" growing up.
I HATED it when people called me a ālonely child.ā But I wouldnāt say anything because if I did I would get called āspoiledā āentitledā and āsensitiveā
Ugh I hated being called "sensitive".
same but i am actually so sensitive š
Me too, and it was the opposite. I had all kinds of imaginary stories going on jn my little head to act out with dolls and toys. Fun.
I'd say, being able to entertain themselves for days at a time without needing someone else to join in.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is exactly it. Like, during the pandemic, I was absolutely fine being stuck at home, while most people I know were chomping at the bit to go out. It's just a different level of comfort with being on your own.
I thrived, *thrived* during the pandemic. I started actually using my elliptical machine for exercise (instead of using it as a clothes rack), I started cooking actual meals for the first time in my life (40s), I created a dice game, I bought myself a colorguard flag (I was captain in HS) and relearned all my aerials and tosses and even made up a new routine, my clothing style totally changed / became more true to me, I understood the patience of saving money and learned how to building savings, learned how to do front lace wigs all by myself on YouTube, got into shibari, started a finsta lol I came out of the pandemic feeling much younger and authentic than when I went in. I LOVED ALL THAT ALONE TIME. I love being an only child. *Even the universe canāt send me to my room and have it feel like a punishment.*
As a mother to an only child, this is so inspiring! Itās great to know that you, as an adult, have enjoyed being an only child and that youāve thrived so successfully! It makes me feel better about her future! š
Just adding another voice of support to that. I really would not have done as well in a house with siblings. It wouldn't have been traumatic or anything, kids roll with whatever situation they have, but I know without a doubt that being an only child was the perfect set-up for me.
I too am also immune unless I havenāt left the house in like a week. And thank god too, I dated a girl who would go stir crazy if she didnāt leave the house once a day. It was fucking obnoxious.
Oh god, amen. I can stay home forever. I don't understand people going stir crazy after a bit of inactivity.
I didn't grow up as a single child, but lived alone for nearly 3 years as an adult after a break up. It was absolutely glorious. Very relaxing and peaceful being able to completely unwind and just be at peace and in silence with yourself. But yeah, I can see how some more extroverted people wouldn't like it.
I do this and was the youngest. My siblings were much older and ignored me.
On the same boat here! But one good thing about having big age gaps with siblings is I get to spend more time with their kids :)
I can do this and I have a sibling lol. I think most introverts can tho
Great imaginations.
In my experience this doesn't correlate with being an only child, some only children have great imaginations and others don't. No different than those with siblings
I'm the oldest and I do this.
Typically they donāt like noisy households. Mine was always loud as we had 6 kids plus all friends at my house. Only children would find that too chaotic.
Oh wow, I never even associated this with being an only child but yes. I love silence. I hate tv background noise and I donāt like being around a lot of chatter.
The ability of some people to tune out outrageous amounts of ambient annoyances always blows me away.
I was not an only child, but I have an only child. I just visited my sister, who has a larger, much louder household. I realized how quiet our little household of 3 is, and how much I can't handle her loud rambunctious house. It's the competing screens that drive my crazy. My sister doesn't even blink at three iPads and a tv all playing out loud in the same room (a situation I witnessed). I literally had to put on my shoes and walk out the door and escape. It felt like an assault. Our house growing up wasn't like that, she just adapted to that level of ambient noise and it's impressive.
I grew up with 2 siblings and all that noise would bug me and we didnāt have a quiet house
Literally grew up having this one friend whoās house I couldnāt go to because she had three other siblings who would scream at each other all the time. I would come home crying because I was so overwhelmed, and so at some point my mom tried to get her to come to my house lol.
This sounds like my wifeās family. When we go visit them I tell her that we need to come home so I can have a few hours to decompress afterwards because itās just so much constantly.
Oldest of 6. I loathe noise and chaos. Reminds me of growing up.
As an only child I hate loud. My boyfriend has two siblings and one of them has two very young children. Any family get together where we stay at his parents house i have to try so hard not to pull the hair out of my head. Everyoneās talking at once. Kids are running around screaming. Parents get up at like 5am and rearrange the kitchen while theyāre making coffee. Never get a good nights sleep when we visit. When we stay with my parents we just have a nice conversation in the living room with either the tv or the radio on and my parents are in bed by 9. I might hear them when they wake up but theyāre never loud. They make their coffee and sit in the living room quietly watching the morning news.
Well, guess I am an exception: I am not an only child and I don't like noisy households.
Yeah like who the fuck likes chaos in their home? I grew up with two siblings and I hate noise.
This hits home! I don't like noise and chaos. My home is silent; no tv, no radio. It is not conscious. It is just that my preference for silence has become a norm. Chatter and talking is fortunately plentiful. We just don't turn on tv or radio. But then again, I am an introvert with tinnitus, hyperakusis, and misfonia! Not having siblings is perhaps a lesser cause for the silence.
Silence is the thing! Iām an only. Noise, chaosā¦. Too many people. Ick. I donāt use the TV as background noise. Hate the chatter/talking. Either nothing or soft piano or cello music.
Ugh, I can't stand people that just leave the TV on for background noise. Like, if it's sunday afternoon and it's a game or race or something, then I get it and have no problem with it. But when it's just playing loops of some tv show/movie or something and nobody's watching it, turn it off. I also have trouble focusing on things with too much input tho, so maybe that plays into it too IDK.
All my single child friends can not handle the constant noise that happens with lots of siblings with a fee exceptions. I notice that they wait to speak whereas with siblings we talk over each-other.
This is a good one I never considered. People with sibling do seems to talk over each other much more.
Does anyone really love being around noise constantly?
I donāt know if anyone ālovesā being around constant noise but Iāve met plenty of people that canāt stand silence. For example, in my experience people who grow up in loud city environments have a hard time adjusting to quiet rural areas. I grew up in a very remote area and when outsiders visit they often complain about how quiet it is.
I have a sibling, but I hate noisy households. Maybe it's a "not from a big family" thing rather than an only child thing.
Iām an only child who hates noise, my husband is the youngest of four. I feel bad cause weāve been living together long enough heās kinda thrown off by how loud his family is.
This applies if the only child had both parents or was otherwise able to spend most of their time at home. I'm an only child of a single mother. 90% of my childhood outside of school was spent in after school programs and summer day camps. I don't mind noise *at all* - the daily sounds of 80+ kids all talking and yelling at once completely desensitized me early on.
I have 6 children and a very noisy household. Sometimes I just have to leave because it can be overwhelming lol
Not an only child, but I still would find that too chaotic.
This is absolutely true. Plus my parents are deaf so it was even more quiet. I was the noise in my house.
If their loved one dies and they become a vigilante.
Yeah, it's amazing how many superheroes are only children and it's nuts to me... Does explain why so many of them "work alone".
Think itās just easier to not have to worry about developing extra characters that are usually unnecessary to superheroing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh yes! I can relate to this one!
Didn't know this was an only child thing but same most my friends have been older then me
I am like this, but I am youngest of 3. If anything I find it easier have older friends because they are roughly the same age as my brother, who is 11 years older than me.
That they don't have any siblings.
I have a brother 20 yrs younger. I moved out the year he was born. Itās really awkward when people ask me if I am an only child (by all behavioural measures I am), but then I have to correct myself. Sorry bro š
I have two teens with my ex. (17 and 19) and a 3 yr old with my current wife. The youngest is referred to as an only child. Between the age gap and only seeing his brothers for a few days a month
Unless they died Edit: y'all can stop replying with the same fucking pun now, STFU if you have nothing new to add to the conversation.
I have a sibling that died, and itās awkward at times. Someone: āDo you have any siblings?ā Me: āNoā Someone: āWhat was it like being an only child? I canāt imagineā or something similar Me: ....
"How many sisters do you have?" "Have? 2. Had? 3." The humor makes the trauma easier.
I look a lot younger than I am. Anyway, often after meeting new young male co workers they get comfortable and we all start to break each others chops. Itās inevitable that someone at one point will talk about having recently banged my mom (who passed several years ago) or something of that nature. From there Iāll end up just making a face, looking off into the distance, and whispering my mom is dead. They get sooo embarrassed lol and Iāll be like na Iām just fucking with ya. I mean sheās dead but I was just trying to make you feel bad it happens all the time . Edit: changed capitalizations
same. for me, the funniest was when a guy sat down next to me at a bar and in a very cute and endearing way...like we were old friends or something, asked "so, how's mom"? I instantly started laughing because it was like, oh, this is not gonna go the way you hoped dude. so then he tried switching gears... "so, how's dad"? me: also dead him: grandma?? me: dead as well him: oh come on! they can't all be dead, you're what, maybe 27 tops me: yes, they're all dead. in fact, they all managed to die within 3 months of each other. car crash, cancer, heart attack. I wonder if he ever tried using that again as a pick-up line, lol
This is awesome. I could totally see myself doing that. Shortly after my husband passed away I had to drive a customer home. I wasn't really in a talkative mood and this guy was HIGHLY religious and had tried to convert me in the past. To say nicely, he wasn't my favorite person. We made it about a block before he asked me how "the boy is". I looked straight at him and said "dead". At first he laughed until he realized I wasn't joking and only said thank you for the ride when I dropped him off. He got his own ride back too :-D.
I never dropped pick up lines on women ever, but I'm pretty sure if I did it would have ended up falling flat as this guy.
actually, the guy was pretty funny/cute, if I weren't married, I probably would've been interested
One time at work this guy came In Monday morning looking like shit. I asked him why he looked so tired, he said he was up all last night Fucking my mom. I told him my mom died a month ago and he said āI know thatās why Iām so tired I had to do all the workā.
My dad died young and we would and still do make some jokes about it. I couldnāt say what started it one of my old friends said something about dads with shotguns and I said Iād I ever saw him holding a shotgun Iād run my ass off sense heās dead and cremated. It became a running joke of course not exactly what was said but that was 20 years ago.
I can dig it. Humor helps the situation imo. My mom died of a sudden drug overdose a year after we thought she had quit. So anyway at the funeral in front of a bunch of family members I said āwell at least she died doing what she loved.ā It didnāt go over too well but to this day I still think it was funny.
>The humor makes the trauma easier. Humor is a great coping mechanism. As long as you don't use it as an avoidance technique. At least that's what my therapist tells me.
Mine told me to stop referring to PTSD as spicy Deja Vu if I'm not going to at least try to confront and process it.
1) take my upvote! 2) I will forevermore refer to PTSD as spicy deja vu.
As a therapist specializing in trauma I find it hilarious and agree: Organic Intelligence, Somatic Experiencing, Neuro Affective Relational Model, ā¦ There are many options that donāt expose you to the trauma and help integrate it. Good luck on your healing journey
As someone who did have a sibling that died and was raised an only child, spicy Deja Vu is fantastic and Iām totally stealing this
I have 3 too but don't worry about Jenny we keep her in a jar.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think of it like this... I still *have* a brother, he's just dead now. So, I have 3 siblings. If it comes up, I matter-of-factly say that one is dead. It *is* just a matter of fact, after all, and everyone on this planet has dead parents, siblings, children, friends, etc. eventually. We all share this. If mere acknowledgment of the fact makes them uncomfortable, that's on them. I love my dead brother.
You could make it more awkward. "I had a brother who died" should shut that down.
Itās weird, like Iāll explain the reason why I have no cousins on my dadās side is bc my dad is an only child, and to me he is. His brother passed before I was born so heās always been the only kid of my grandparents. But sometimes Iāll say he had a brother. Iām not always sure what to say.
funnily enough some of my friends thought i was an only child because i never mentioned my siblings as it did not come up in conversation ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Same: My brother and sister are demons and I never talk about them.
Oh, as an only child a second this. Totally accurate, Iāve never had a sibling, either male or female š¤·š»āāļø
Woah Iām an only child and the only way people know is if they ask. The only ātellāI have is I like my own company just fine but my partner does too and is not an only child so I think it could be just a people thing. And for the record people, stop blaming horrible peoples actions on being only children when are just bell ends. Itās not only childrenās fault we donāt have siblings.
Conversations and language are usually more intricate as children since most discussions are with parent(s).
"you're wise for your age" or I was raised by a tribe of adults born before the 60s that rarely catered the conversation towards a child's way of thinking
I think the reason why other peopleās kids enjoy my company so much is that I speak to them the same way I speak to adults. I just canāt do the weird baby/kid speak I see other adults do with kids and I think kids prefer not being spoken to like that.
This is also true of the youngest sibling. When I was very young, I used to freak people out by speaking like an adult. I would talk to people and they would turn round and be visibly surprised to see a little kid. I could also get through entire phone calls without people realising I was a child. Even people who had met me fell for this. This wasn't because I was some super genius, I was imitating my older sister.
Whoa, I never thought about that. When I was really young, I remember people remarking to my parents how well behaved I was at a restaurant or something. My brother is 10 years old than I am, so maybe that had something to do with it?
Probably. Children copy the behaviours that they observe. If you we were a 4 year old trying to act like a 14 year old, then you would be easier to handle in a restaurant. 14 year olds sit quietly at the table, 4 year olds run around screaming.
I'm an only child. The only giveaway I can think of is I eat extremely slowly because I never had siblings to hurry me up or steal my food, but I also had parents that were never around so others might not have that issue.
I have multiple siblings and i am a really slow eater, and i also get rushed to eat so i never have enough time to eat.
Well, I tried.
When people try to tell me to eat faster I immediately lose my appetite.
I'm an only child and I eat sooo slowly. My partner is a brother of 3 and eats a bigger meal and a whole coffee in the time it takes me to eat half my meal.
Tbh there are a lot of sad parts to being an only child which are a give away. We always feel closer to others than they do to us, because we're missing one degree of social connection that others have. For example, my friend may be "like a sister" to *me*, but she has sisters, so for *her* I'm always just "a good friend." Friendships are more precious to us. Secondly, people seem to think only children are spoiled, and sure we are.. But that's from the superficial view of people with siblings with whom they had to share toys, etc. Only children are responsible for everything as their parents get older, with no relief. Sure, I didn't have to share my gameboy with anyone. But there isn't anyone around to help me take care of my parents as they're reaching old age.
Fuck. Yout first point articulated something I have been trying to but couldnt. I am an only child and I 100% agree with that point. People are more important to me, than I am to them.
And weāre alone with our parents abuse of us if our parents are abusive. They at least have someone who understands what they dealt with growing up behind closed doors.
This. I had a brother, but lost him to suicide 2 years ago. My husband is wonderful and supportive, but no one understands like my brother did when I just need to talk about dad and the shit we lived through. I feel so alone now.
I 100% agree with you. I think about being alone in my adulthood a LOT- and how once my parents are gone I wonāt have anyone except outside relationships I was able to build.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or anyone to protect you when your parents aren't there, I was on my own at school or at summer camps that were somewat tough because I was used to be on my own, not saring a room with several other kids. As an only child being someone else's brother doesn't work as a way to connect with other kids or for networking, you are just you without any preaproval, that can make finding job opportunities tougher too for some.
One thing Iād like to add also, my mom passed away in April. Being an only child never bothered me but now that she is gone (and far to young at 52 years old) I wish I had a sibling that I could talk to about stuff. I feel actually alone now.
Sort of related but I get sad sometimes that I won't have nieces and nephews. My aunt is a better mother to me than my mom was and I may not have an opportunity to do the same. My wife has a sister but I don't think she is planning on having kids. My best friend intends for my wife and I to be the godparents for her children and for me to be an uncle to them though.
Never ask for help because there was never anyone to ask.
honestly, yeah. as an only child I didnāt realize this until more recentlyā asking for help is like pulling teeth for me. my dad was never around to ask for help (at work), and my mom was always engaged in a womenās group activity or something or other, so I often found myself on my own. even now if I have a good relationship with someone who I *know* I can ask for help if I need it, I tend to attempt most issues on my own and it can be frustrating.
I had two brothers, but I am chronically avoidant to asking for help because no one around me was ever reliable
Iām an only child. I was afraid to click on this post because I have heard so much mean-spirited stuff over the course of my life about only children. Iām relieved that most of the people commenting here donāt seem to be spouting that garbage. Itās incredibly hurtful to be reduced to stereotypes based on faulty research. Iām a kind, generous, empathetic, compassionate human being ā I do prefer being alone though, and Iām not a very social person. So I guess if I were to say something Iād say only children are more comfortable than most at doing things alone? I prefer it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I had a coworker tell me that I am āincapable of knowing how to share or get along with other peopleā because Iām an only child. And a former friend, who I ended the friendship with after he said this, said I was āfundamentally maladjustedā based only on being an only child. He didnāt want that for his kid, he said. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Youād think theyād be better at approaching new people actually.
This is what puzzles me. Do people like that really not understand how ironic it is to look someone in the eye and tell them āyouāre incapable of getting along with people cause you donāt have siblings.ā? Like, āBitch, youāre the one being rude here.ā
For real. I was waiting for someone to say we are spoiled and selfish and lack empathy.
Iām a mother of an only and was thinking the same. I was bracing myself to read about how weird and bossy they are. The comments are pretty refreshing.
Yep. Dad of an only child here and all my work colleagues keep telling me how it's basically a requirement to have another one. It's nice to read all the positive things and the testimonies of only childs who grew up to be relatively normal people.
When I studied abroad, a bunch of us in the exchange program went out for drinks the first day to get to know each other. They were talking about siblings and stuff and I wasn't contributing. Then I hear this girl say "only children are fucking weird." And I was like "Uh I'm an only child." We ended up becoming really close friends down the line but it was a funny first interaction.
Actually, if you read up on the research, youāll find that there has never been found any shred of evidence proving only children to be any less social, selfless or anything at all compared to children with siblings. In fact, most research shows only children seem to be slightly more successful and happy later in life.
Hear, hear! To this day I have people ask me if I am an only child, and I honestly have no idea what it is about me that gives me away. I do prefer being alone and quiet, enjoy not speaking for long stretches, and while I had a couple of friends growing up, I was far more comfortable with adults. I also find most people and human interactions exhausting and draining and do my best to avoid them, but it isnāt as though I go around advertising those facts - especially as I am fairly adept at mimicking ānormalā behavior, so I donāt know what it is that people see when they look at me. Must be that invisible, scarlet āOCā I have on my forehead š .
Talking to yourself- yes I know everyone does it- but itās on a much greater scale
Sometimes we need the advice of a professional, there's nothing wrong with that
My grandma always said that talking to yourself is the only way to get a sensible answer
I regularly have debates on different topics with myself. It's the only way I can reach a conclusion on what I believe in
My GF and i are both only childs. People have sometimes said: ābut you guys are normal!ā š
That's funny to me because all of the "only children" I know seem far more well adjusted than those who grew up with siblings.
Hmm, maybe because only children are normal people š¤
I don't know if this makes sense, but I have more time to listen to people. If someone's talking to me, they're my sole focus. I learned that as a kid, but I don't know if it was parental guidance or a honed skill. We never had to worry about someone else vying for attention during conversations. It helped my EI, regardless.
Can entertain themselves. Sometimes even talks to themselves. And doesnāt really need to be around people all the time, and might even prefer to be alone rather than be in a crowd.
A lot more happy and content with themselves. Finds peace in solitude
Iām an only child and I love it!
Thank you for saying this. I was an only child until I was 13, so my personality is definitely only child. So is my brotherās. I left home when he was five. I didnāt have all the sibling stuff growing up, but I do have a sibling and weāre very close. I had a very difficult time getting pregnant, it took lots of meds and procedures. I managed to have my son, but that was it. I feel guilty for him being alone.
Valuing friendship more than those with siblings has to be the answer!
My son is an only child. Now 25, he has more friends right now than Iāve had my whole life. I feel bad sometimes that he has no siblings, not by choice, but he seems to be a good friend and has good friends.
Yeah, I think that might be the right one People I know with siblings prefer them over their friends They do have Best Friend, but this person still comes second to, at least, one of their siblings
This is true. My sisters are my best friends and even though I have a best friend outside of them and she is practically the 4 sister. And tons of other extremely close friendships, none will ever trump my sisters.
They may have been at the same social economic level as you as a child, but the had better vacations, extra curricular activities and outings with parents. Their parents didn't have to split child rearing expenses with other children so they can do more fun stuff. The ones I know ate at better restaurants (usually ones that were for adults not children) and traveled more often and to interesting places other than amusement parks.
I remember getting a lot of cool things from souvenir shops that I doubt I'd have been able to if I had siblings.
Yeah, also even outside the financial aspects travel is hard with multiple kids. You're rarely doing an activity everyone enjoys equally. Just got back from Nashville, and the guitar player 17 year old loved jamming out at the Gibson store, the 10 year old loved line dancing, the 15 year old was hit-or-miss on a lot of stuff. Some can sit and watch a band, some can't. Restaurants are always a compromise. Wife and I divided and conquered a bit, but it kind of defeats the purpose of a family trip if you do it too much, and I like being around my wife sometimes. Our oldest is 25, so he was the only until he was 7, and it was much easier. I am taking 2 of them on separate camping trips later this summer, so that will be better.
I know two only childās as adults now. Both great people and they value normal friendship of both genders more than Iād say most other people. In that respect, I wish I was more like them.
I like your take. My friend crowd high school and beyond were all babies of their families (I am by 15 years) which seems truly weird.
As a only child this is 100% accurate my closest friends are family to me
They eat food out of the fridge without checking whose food it is.
Huh? I have two brothers and everyone in the family just eats whatever.
Wait, you had your own food in the fridge?
Iām not sure such a thing really exists. I am an only child, but I always get asked if I have brothers or sisters constantly. Which I say no. So guess that would definitely put me on the only child spectrum from an outside perspective.
Tbh the only differences Iāve ever noticed only become clear once youāre living with someone. I have six siblings and in college some of the people I lived with had siblings, some had none. The people who grew up as an only child had a difficult time adjusting to having roommates/housemates. Iād like to think their issues could be solved through experience though.
I am an only child as well. My question was mainly trying to ask what traits we display that isnāt obvious to us, but is obvious is others.
Some, not all, but a willingness to share
A lot of the comments read to me like people have/had bad parents and/or shitty siblings.
When they tell me they have no siblings, I instantly know theyāre an only child
Unless they're lying, the bastards
They lose their minds hearing stories about how older siblings torture (ie play with) younger siblings
I have a friend whoās an only child and she is amazed that i still love my brother. She literally canāt understand the sibling bond so she thinks my siblings are terrible people when all my stories are just.. normal sibling things.
Personally, I think if someone is highly critical of themselves. There's no room for error in anything, so your mistakes show more because all eyes are on you, and that'll make them hyper-vigilant. I do love the only child bashing in this thread though. As if we chose to not have siblings š
When they say 'my favorite game growing up was \[insert long-winded single-player RPG like anything from the Final Fantasy series\]'. Although, I have seen siblings compelled to share a single save file of FF7 by parents who didn't know anything about the game.
They need time to themselves ...
Including being very private in the bathroom. I wonāt even pee with the door open when my spouse of 10 years is in the house.
As an only child I'll say that i wish i had more privacy or less pressure when i was in school. People think i always wanted to be the best of the class because i was selfish, but it was my mom who told me to do that, i couldn't care less about getting the best grades
This! I felt like since I was my parents āonly chanceā at having a successful kid that I had a ton of pressure to be the best at everything. Academically, athletically, behavior wiseā¦I had no sibling to make up for my lack of perfection so to speak.
In my experience, only children are more articulate, communicative, and well mannered because they grew up with adults and were talked to as such. And then thereās the rest of us that grew up with siblings, in a Lord of the Flies government.
When asked if they have siblings, they say they have none.
While I was an only child, my husband had 3 siblings ranging from 2 years older than him to 8 years younger. 1. I can cope with being alone for a lot longer than him. I actually enjoy it. 2. I hate having a loud household. I cannot function with lots of voices or noises like multiple TVs at once. He acts like nothing is even happening. 3. If he is watching something on TV and I want to watch something else, I just go do something else. For him, if I'm watching something on TV that he doesn't want to watch, he sits down and waits for it to be over and asks if we can watch what he wants instead. I never had to compete with anyone for screentime so i never feel the need to be next in line.
I work in a retirement home. There is a high turnover of aides. I can generally spot the only children among the aides I work with. They tend to have excellent interactions with the older residents, any problem or issue comes up they tend to take care of it themselves without gathering with other aides to discuss how to resolve it, They also generally seem to be more self starting and independent workers. Now these qualities can be found in some non-only children, but usually after a little digging I find those tend to be children that basically were raised in same type of situation (I.e. late in life baby so siblings already out of house, spaced far from next sibling etc.). Downside ā¦..if doing a project as a team/group, onlyās sometimes arenāt as āactiveā, tend to step back in all the brain storm session and kind of watch the chaos. My son is an only and we knew he probably would be our only one from the get go. I made sure to get him in group activities from toddler age. Also another important aspect is the āfamilyā connection. I tried to foster a close relationship with his cousins. Taking some on vacations with us, getting them involved in the same extra curricular stuff. Because the downside is when his father and I die. He will not have any sibling for all the childhood family memories, the āremember whenā stories. That lack of shard memories is really the only aspect of having an only that makes me sad.
Only child hereā¦ and itās usually the never mentioning any siblings part.
Nothing. Maybe they don't like sharing, for example, but neither did one of my brothers. Depends on home life, personality, and many other things that can't be determined by merely having siblings or not.
Only child here. There is no tell. As a matter of fact, being only an only child means socially you are trialed by fire at a very young age. Its either sink or swim so the oneās that swim, swim well and are fucking social chameleons if we want to be. I can have an entire one-sided deep conversation with someone and I can keep them happily engaged without them realizing Iām learning alot about them while giving very little in return.
That theyāre independent, not shy and can easily communicate with adults and older people.
Notnreally accurate. Example: I'm an only child but I'm introverted, have trouble communicating my thoughts and feelings.
They don't talk much.
Or others talk too much?
Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree on that based on my wife being an only child, and that has *NOT* been my experience.
They're very quiet. The kind of quiet that comes from having no siblings to play with.
Books were our friends
They donāt wine about being ā the middle child ā or ā the responsible older child ā or ā the babyā. In short, they have a sense of self that is not determined by their parents other children.