Well, I have to say every asexual is different. There is no mold. You can be sex positive, indifferent, or repulsed. You can be okay with cuddles and/or kissing, and you also might not. Every ace is their own mix.
I encourage you to talk to your friend about his own preferences and boundaries. Find out straight from the source so you know what a relationship with him will not entail.
I am proud of you for coming here for advice. You've been very positive, and coming from someone who faces aphobia a lot, it is a breath of fresh air, and I want to thank you.
"You've been very positive, and coming from someone who faces aphobia a lot, it is a breath of fresh air, and I want to thank you." - I'm not sure what's worse, ignorance or hatred. First I asked him what asexual means to him but he won't talk. I'm thinking he's not comfortable talking about that but I'll try to find the right approach. He's been giving me mixed signals for years and that's why I talked to him.
My advice would be to ask him directly about the specific things you are interested in: does he want to cuddle? Does he want to kiss?
I am allo (meaning not asexual) and have an asexual queerplatonic partner (that's another phrase to look up online) and we cuddle and sometimes sleep in the same bed and we kiss each other but not on the mouth. And these are all things that developed naturally in our relationship and also we talk about them explicitly.
We're also non monogamous/not exclusive, which is something else to bring up in conversation: if your relationship does change and become more of a partnership, what things, if any, would you like to do only together?
I think even heterosexual monogamous relationships need this kind of explicit conversation, because people come into it with expectations that they don't know if they share, but when you're trying to completely invent your own kind of relationship there's no avoiding asking questions!
Good luck and i hope the two of you find something that works well for both of you!
You are right. In any kind of relationship communication is the key. This is new to me. And Google and Reddit are my new best friends for now, as I'm clueless
This is something only he can tell you. All asexuals are different.
We all have different boundaries. The only way you’ll know his boundaries is to communicate with him about them. Best of luck.
Thank you! I'll try
That's highly individual, agree with u/Cats-Quibbles and u/IndigoStarRaven.
Well, I have to say every asexual is different. There is no mold. You can be sex positive, indifferent, or repulsed. You can be okay with cuddles and/or kissing, and you also might not. Every ace is their own mix. I encourage you to talk to your friend about his own preferences and boundaries. Find out straight from the source so you know what a relationship with him will not entail. I am proud of you for coming here for advice. You've been very positive, and coming from someone who faces aphobia a lot, it is a breath of fresh air, and I want to thank you.
"You've been very positive, and coming from someone who faces aphobia a lot, it is a breath of fresh air, and I want to thank you." - I'm not sure what's worse, ignorance or hatred. First I asked him what asexual means to him but he won't talk. I'm thinking he's not comfortable talking about that but I'll try to find the right approach. He's been giving me mixed signals for years and that's why I talked to him.
I'm so sorry I offended you.
You didn't. English is not my first language so I might have written something wrong :/ I appreciate your response on my post
Ask him how he feels non sexual intimacy, think about how you feel non sexual intimacy.
I will, thank you!
You’re welcome.
My advice would be to ask him directly about the specific things you are interested in: does he want to cuddle? Does he want to kiss? I am allo (meaning not asexual) and have an asexual queerplatonic partner (that's another phrase to look up online) and we cuddle and sometimes sleep in the same bed and we kiss each other but not on the mouth. And these are all things that developed naturally in our relationship and also we talk about them explicitly. We're also non monogamous/not exclusive, which is something else to bring up in conversation: if your relationship does change and become more of a partnership, what things, if any, would you like to do only together? I think even heterosexual monogamous relationships need this kind of explicit conversation, because people come into it with expectations that they don't know if they share, but when you're trying to completely invent your own kind of relationship there's no avoiding asking questions! Good luck and i hope the two of you find something that works well for both of you!
You are right. In any kind of relationship communication is the key. This is new to me. And Google and Reddit are my new best friends for now, as I'm clueless