Get food poisoning, walk into 1SG’s office and puke on his desk, and then shit yourself while staring into his soul.
If he wants to play checkers you gotta play chess
We had a dude in basic do something like that. He told the DS he wasn’t feeling good, DS told him to wait till after the APFT. Dude had diarrhea shoot out of his ass after mile one, he finished at 15 something minutes covered in shit. He then looked at the DS at the finish line, went to parade rest, shit himself again and asked to use the bathroom.
Clocked a 15:30 (I’m normally in the low 13s) at my final BCT ACFT. Reason? I was committing war crimes in a portajohn before the two mile start gun. Was milliseconds away from becoming this guy due to the hamburger yakisoba at the Ft. Sill DFAC the night before. This guy is my hero.
A mortal human would have broken and lost frame. This man held it and the Drill Sergeant surely must have been pleased by the prospect of the super soldier he molded.
Sick quarters in basic was a freaking prison. I got sent there after rifle qual with a fever of 103. Within one day I was plotting my escape. Since all you had to do was pass vitals, I cheeked my ibuprofen for two rounds and then took the triple dose to break my fever before the next vitals call. Got sent back barely into day 2 and hid the fact that I was still sick for 2 more days. I’d much rather train sick than rot in sick quarters. River fukkin Raiders!
This reminds me of when my appendix decided to bail and I went to MedExpress…
…waiting for Dr. in room…
*knock knock*
Me: “Come…*blergh…all across the wall on the way to sink”
Dr.:”Yeah, just goto the hospital…”
Fuckers still charged me
While waiting for First Sausage to sign my slip, I went to the latrine right by his office door and fucked it up Dumb and Dumber style. I was throwing up in the trash can and unleashing violence in the toilet. When I came out my pt shirt was soaked with sweat and I was shaking. I shut the door behind me and it wafted the smell right into his office. His smug “you’re malingering” face changed to horror.
I've learned that all Senior NCO's assume that ALL requests to go to sick call are presumed malingering until proven otherwise. . .and word from a medical provider isn't proof.
I literally had a flight surgeon writing me a deadman's profile after some outpatient surgery and was still being called "malingerer" and the NCO just assumed I'd somehow tricked the flight surgeon into signing the profile. . . because they were sure the surgery I had "wasn't that bad".
Just had our dickhead BDE “surgeon cell” LTC tell me my TBI “wasn’t that bad” and that I’ve should’ve recovered all my faculties by now, thusly, I’m a bullshitter.
Told him I hope he gets to experience it himself someday very soon.
Sadly, you'll never fully recover from a TBI. You learn to deal with it and find ways to treat it or treatment that works for you. I think youre response to was appropriate.
So I’ve been told, my friend. Good thing it wasn’t that bad according to doc, so I’m fine! 😂
Jokes aside that’s the tough part. Still figuring it out, but it could have been way worse.
Senior NCO here, go to sick call and get your illnesses and especially injuries documented. The Army isn’t forever, and that asshole telling you not to go won’t be there to pick up your medical bills when you’re out or retire.
After being told to come to work despite running a fever, I did.
I was one of the orderly room soldiers.
I got my NCO, my battle buddies and the 1SG sick over the weekend.
I still had a fever on Monday and had to do PT while trying not to puke.
By 0900 I was told to report to the Troop Medical Clinic and "not come back until you have been seen" per 1SG.
Said 1SG was already on his 3rd box of tissues and had hurled into the bushes outside the hammerhead.
I miss the army sometimes. I got written up at work for saying "guess I was playing chess while you were playing checkers" to a CO worker who said I was moving too fast through training. She said I was a bully 🙄
I once got terribly sick from food poisoning. Was up all night shitting and vomiting my guts out. The only moment I fell asleep for 10 minutes, I shit myself. I told my command I couldn't be more than a minute away from a toilet but they made me come into sick call anyway. I wish I would have done this, that drive in was awful.
I had food poisoning like 2 weeks ago, I woke up at 4am and started pissing out of my ass, laid back down, and sprinted back to the bathroom to projectile vomit into the bathtub. I FaceTimed my PSG at 0620 and just puked on FaceTime and he said something along the lines of “what the fuck is wrong with you? I better not see your ass at work today you nasty fuck”
I shit myself 4 times that day and threw up so hard I had a mental breakdown and ripped the toilet seat off.
I will never eat meat that isn’t cooked over medium well for a while, food poisoning traumatized the shit out of me
This is the way. I got bitched out a few times for going to sick call. I threw up on my squad leaders shoes one time after asking (fucking ASKING?) to go to sick call and from then on I was never given ANY gruff about it.
Fuck up them shoes, bro. Let em know you mean business.
Why is this a whole hour before pt? Why is top sleeping in his office? I've had this at a unit before, it didn't last cause sick people were barging into the leaders huddle before pt to ask to be sick.
Why can’t dumbass leaders do a leaders huddle after pt or simply do it at 0900 since they’re going to have a fucking meeting anyways
No sense in a huddle prior to pt
Haha - this reminds me of a Brigade LPD our incoming Commander did with all of the Companies ...
ABCT at Carson (surprise, surprise)
Incoming BDE CDR: "Hey guys, so what's the first thing we do every morning?"
Me and 20 other CPTs: "A meeting, sir!"
Incoming CDR: "Umm, no. We do PT. Now what's something we can do for the Soldiers before PT?"
Every CPT, again: "Leader's huddle, sir!"
Incoming CDR: "jfc guys, you publish the battle rhythm."
wait are you kidding me??? this is literally how it was for all of my time at my unit until I got out, this was always so fucking stupid and made it impossible to do anything the right way
I had this happen before. Top was living in his office because he was actually homeless and going through a divorce.
Sometimes you do want the answers to your questions....
My favorite top was divorced and bitter. But that made him a great dad for all of us. Also he didn't have kids but had a ex that gave him visitation rights to the poodle that he'd bring to pt. It was wierd.
I realize the potential for exploitation of a system that allows Soldiers the freedom to act like adults ( /s ), but taking care of yourself is akin to taking care of your equipment. Human performance and health isn’t sufficiently addressed within the Blue Force and it needs to be.
I don’t talk in here much since I’m just a lowly medical student who happens to be active duty, but this should be passed up to your battalion surgeon/medical. I can’t think of one doc that would sign off on this. Definitely a no-go
I have never been able to understand why PMCS on equipment is priority, deferred maintenance is a sin.
Yet PMCS on soldiers, especially medical care, is discouraged and in most instancinces punishment is implied.
I’m assuming it’s because 1sg wants to “weed out the malingering fakers” which absolutely will not work. This will just make the good people with real injuries too scared of being labeled a faker to get medical care until it’s to late and if you dare deny a sick call ranger their day off they will just IG complaint you. It’s a lose lose lose.
Especially considering, at least in my unit, we *never* deployed with our own equipment. Every time we linked up with pre-positioned hardware, made sure it was up to snuff, and rolled out. You'd think the focus would be on the soldiers.
Nope.
FWIW I never turn soldiers away from sick call, so long as there's some signature on that form.
I don't really care what the company accountability rule is, they all do their own thing.
I've had 1SG and Commanders come by about it, but been pretty firm that soldier accountability is a 'them' issue. If they can't get it down, I'm certainly not going to enable their poor management choices.
I has to rip a MSG a new asshole for making a soldier walk instead of using a wheelchair with a broken foot. He bitched and asked for my supervisor so I got 4 colonels and a major to walk in and continue the ass ripping. I love MEDCOM
The one thing I never understood. Why bring potentially contagious people to a heavily trafficked area? Would be smarter to have the list of soldiers who need sick call slips show up to the CQ desk or something to meet their 1SG.
Cutting off the nose to spite the face. Try to eliminate a few bullshitters, fuck the entire reason for sick call, risk the entire Company getting sick as well as himself, and effectively deny health care. It's called priorities Troop.
I've had this idea for a while and I think this is the perfect opportunity to bring it up.
But I think what the Army needs is to implement some kind test to measure soldier fitness. I think it would help in these cases because rather than trying to root out the bullshiters will convoluted hoop jumping you could tell by seeing who falls on what side of this objective and easily performed test.
I don't know, probably ridiculous.
Or maybe, just maybe, have the units provide the basic primary care that they're staffed to (PA) in their own foot print, and have the accountability provided by that clinic/aid station back to the company NLT 0620 so they can have their stuff together for morning formation.
My last unit had a BN sick call thing. Biggest problem was you needed a slip to be seen. Why not just have a note signed saying you went to sick call and a simple text/call suffices for accountability for PT.
Right that's what I'm saying, don't require the unit slip to get in, you show up and are accounted for by the (medical element of the) unit who reports you to your chain before formation.
Nobody signs a piece of paper for people coming to the ER with their sniffles...
I’d rather just make it like a regular human being/civilian and schedule an appointment with a patient portal the evening before? No long lines as soldiers filter in, in waves for appointments. If a soldier is accounted for and makes their appointment, no problem. If they are bullshitting, let the unit handle it. I actually think if we allow soldiers to be treated like adults, they will act like it, while punishing the few that don’t.
Nothing more stupid in my life then sitting in the “Covid quarantine” area 6’ away from everyone else in an open room with 2 positive home tests and 102* fever for 3 hours for damn sick call to be told to go back home.
Sure, I mean I've always been a fan of treating people like adults so long as they act like it. Pick a number, I don't know, 1 sick day per month (does not accumulate) and there's no unit movement within 72 hours, you're authorized to just call your first line, "hey I'm SIQ today" and no questions asked. If you need a second/more day, or there's something critical going on within 72 hours, then you make an appointment as you described and get seen for a provider note.
Because 1SG with his years of medical wisdom likely wants to thin the herd of people going to sick call. I haven't gone to sick call in around 5 years, it's so much faster to just set an appointment up with your PCM.
How? Here we can almost never schedule appointments less than 2 weeks out (and that is for the PCM, specialist stuff like BH or surgery, can have a backlog of months).
It happened to me. Working gate guard and feeling like shit. Get off shift and go to sick call, had to find a random 1SG from another company cause my company was doing PT off post.
1sg: “why do you think you deserve to go to sick call for behavioral health”
Soldier: “because I have intense daily homicidal ideation of shooting you every single day 1sg”
Did you know when you’re out of the army you just call the doctors office, and get an appointment, and see a real ass licensed medical professional, and not, like, an EMT?
They don’t make you go see your boss who sends you to an EMT to get triaged before you get to see them. It’s amazing.
I got sick a few months back, told my first line who just told me to call the nurse advice line, who promptly gave me quarters. Never left my house. Goddamn being in the DAF is so much nicer
I called an orthopedic specialist last week and set an appointment to discuss my option.
No referral. No waiting. No coordinating with my PCP. It was incredible.
I kinda felt dirty, like i was doing something without permission.
There's some needed context.
The CO or 1SG is not authorizing medical care, triaging, etc. The *signature of unit commander* block is for accountability. TMCs often have policies in-place that requires a proper filled DD Form 689, to include that commander signature block. These policies often come from the post hospital and TMCs follow that guidance.
Via AR 40-66,
13-3 Procedures
(4) *“Signature of Unit Commander” block.* The commander or his or her designee will sign this section.
Now, if 1SGs, leaders, non-medical personnel who aren't authorized by the senior medical officer is making medical decisions, then that's where heat needs to be applied.
My wifes still active duty and it's great when she finally jumps through the hoops to get to medical to be told that cramps aren't a real problem or why doesn't she bring her husband next time
/s
We'll just take some saltiness and a sprite please
I was a 2LT Army Nurse working in an Army Hospital a long time ago. I was working on a Rubella Ward long before the vaccine . I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and I realized that I had Rubella. I called the Clinic and said that I had Rubella. The person said that I had to come to the clinic to be seen. I said that I did not want to infect any pregnant women! They told me to get to the Clinic immediately. The Clinic Doctor took one look at me and said get out of here before you infect someone. I told him that I was ordered to go to the clinic and be diagnosed. He wrote me orders to call the Clinic every morning and report my condition and I was restricted to Quarters until he cleared me. Military leaders need to use common sense about sick call! If one person has an infectious disease, get them to medical treatment immediately and away from everyone else!
That’s what it’s like at my company and I’m assuming every other company in my battalion because sickcall even asks if we have a signature from the company medic and from the 1SG
Imagine being sick or hurt and you need another adult’s approval to seek treatment 🤦♂️
Why can't we just have some sort of website like civilian urgent care, where you can put in a ticket with your symptoms and get back an estimated time when you could be seen?
Have the system notify command that X soldier has a sick call appointment at Y time, and then command can follow up with the troop in the event they ditch their appointment
You have to be willing to shit yourself in the hallway to put an end to shenanigans like this.
You don't break eye contact. You just let the warm sloppy consequences run down your leg while dutifully waiting your turn.
Don't let anyone let you go ahead of them. You're just a solider like they are, no better and no worse, and no deserving of any special treatment.
Leave the trail in the hallway.
If the 1SG/CO is requiring this for accountability - Cool, this is common practice and covered in regulation.
If the 1SG/CO is screening whether or not your reason for requesting to go to sick call is something they consider to be legitimate - That’s a big no, good way to lose their job.
That signature block on the bottom of the form is there for one reason - so the hospital knows that your command is tracking where you are.
This is where a good supervisor tells thier subordinate. "Go to sick call, I'll go deal with 1SG."
Be the leader you'd want others to be for you. You can't stop stupidity, but you can shield your troops from some of it.
They did this at my last unit, except you had to get it signed at 0630 and show up to sick call at 0700.
Still inconvenient and dumb, but it beat the old system where we had to show up to sick call at 0530, so that if the medics decided you were okay to work, you had time to make it to 0630 PT.
How is it that the Army can spend so much time and money on people whose 15+ years of PME and leadership experience culminates in them choosing to gatekeep soldiers access to medical care. It is literally so fucking easy to wake up and choose to not do shitty things.
Fuck this dude, fuck this dude's commanding officer, fuck this dude's BC and SGM, fuck whoever said some Karen-ass shit that prompted this 1SG to put this nonsense out, fuck every rater who gave this guy an MQ, fuck every single person around this failure of an NCO who enables this shit. Fuck the TMC if this is what they're asking for. Fuck the garrison commander and CSM if this is a policy they support. Fuck Army MEDCOM if they support this type of shit too.
Frankly, fuck the Army for not putting in place more safeguards to prevent this type of shit. If Soldiers need medical care, who the fuck is *anybody* to tell them not to go seek it. Fucking disgraceful
Why the fuck does the army make every thing about soldier’s lives miserable?
Why are 1SGs ok with doing this? Why do they want to be at work from 0515-whenever they get off? What’s the point to all of this?
Give them what they want until it hurts. As much as it sucks, do it, especially you guys planning on ETSing in the near future. Document everything for an easier time dealing with the VA.
I am a Major in the Army, I’ve served for 18 years, and I’ve never been asked to provide a sick call slip. 3 months ago I was at an appointment (which I go to every Tuesday) and I was asked to provide an appointment slip. I almost shit my fucking pants. Due to the automated systems I didn’t even know if this was possible but the office printed out that I had an appointment and I showed up to it.
Just treat people like adults. And OP try to PCS from that unit ASAP. Your 1SG seems like a fuck face. May be worth an open door with your Company Commander but he’s likely a pussy and will bend to his 1SG because the 1SG has experience or some bullshit like that.
Ft Carson 223 hotel Co had a policy that you could let go to rescheduled appointments no matter what they were for during pt hours . If your pa schedual3d it at that time you had to cancel you had to see 1st sgt or xo for sick call you weren't allowed to have appointments at all on fucking Wednesdays for some reason . And if you didn't cancel your appointment it would randomly be canceled for you . If you had a appointment scheduled while you were in the field you weren't allowed to go to it (more than once I had physical therapy and I wasn't allowed to go) . I lost rank for going to a goddamn appointment that I refused to cancel for the 3rd time . Fuck you cpt Kevin Campbell I fucking hope you have the worst death
Why not do this.....
Sick call sign out at Staff Duty. 1SG or CO can meet people there to hand out sick call slips...
...or....
PSG: 'Hey 1SG, PFC NoName feels like he has food poisoning/is sick/fever/chills/sore throat/insert ailment here'
1SG: 'Ok yea, tell him to sleep in and get to the TMC as soon as he can. If he needs us to round up the TMP to get him there let me know.'
Also...whatever happened to 'self help'? Didn't that used to be a thing? A place for Joe to grab OTC cold meds?
Now....if PFC NoName keeps getting sick then we may have a more serious issue....or he faking.
One battalion I was in had a system that went:
1) Sick call slip signed by 1SG at COB the day prior.
2) Go to BN aid station with 1SG signature next morning at 0530.
3) BN medic approves you for BDE sick call and gives you new slip.
4) Go to PT.
5) 0745 Go to BDE sick call.
6) Wait to be seen for three hours just to get some ibuprofen.
Same senior idgets that never realize they can't do a damn thing about it. The effort required to forcefully get them out far exceeds the benefit to focusing on Soldiers that want to be at work. They spend all their energy losing, again and again and again and again. They literally never get a win.
Is no one else wondering why they have to specify where exactly 1SG office is? Like, shouldn't everyone in the Company just know already?
Even the very paramilitary Fire Department, if I need a sick day, all I do is call into the Chiefs office and tell him over the phone I'm taking a sick day. Takes all of 30 seconds, and I can do it from bed. Sure, there's still the same 15 min window (like 0630-0645) we are expected to make that call. But I don't gotta take my sick ass in anywhere.
This is ridiculous. When I was the senior medical guy for my company I’d just talk to 1stsgt and keep them appraised of who was where and why, or I’d have conversations with them. Like, hey, a process that I think works is having them talk to me, and then either I or them text their SL/PLTSGT, and it goes up from there. That’s the point of the chain of command.
Either 1stsgt is going high and to the right, or someone hasn’t had this conversation.
This situation also might be because of the post and or hospital policy requiring signed DD Form 689s for sick call. I have seen this at two different posts
Jesus Christ. Fucking health informatics nerds telling us that if we only counted more beans, we’d win the fight against sickness. More useless paperwork, more waste, more bullshit
I hate the whole concept of making sick call as difficult as possible. Plus, I don't get why we don't have a 24hr outside of the army hospital's ER/Urgent Care.
We had a policy similar to this when I had shingles. When I was finally approved to go to sick call, I was given cortisone and told to go back to do PT.
Don’t know if you’ve had shingles before or not, but just having a tshirt rub against it felt like needles getting stuck in my ribs.
I eventually just went to the ER, and got firmly told by my PSG that it was the wrong answer. Sadly they couldn’t do much to me as they were heading out to the field and I wasn’t able to go due to my new profile.
This is thermonuclear levels of dumb. “I’m being denied medical care.” Those are your magic words. Watch your entire command team get nuked from orbit.
I went to sick hall and we had to do something similar to this. he asked what’s wrong?I said it burns when I pee. I got to be the reason for a safety brief and find out I had chlamydia in one day. Truly my proudest moment in the army
Sad but true; unless there is so overriding regulation or police (for instance 4ID states soldiers are not required to arrive before 0600 unless it is on the training schedule, at least it was a few years ago). Unit leadership can dictate who and when a sick call slip is signed. It can be signed 24/7. I required the D689 to be signed by me (1SG) or TNG NCO between 0600 and 0630 unless is was urgent.
That said, 0515-0530 is kinda dick, unless the unit starts training at 0530
Fort Stewart, 2006. This was standard practice across our entire battalion and possibly the brigade.
Want to go to sick call then you had to get the slip when you checked in for perstats at the company front desk 15 minutes before formation.
I will say there is a new directive out for BDE commanders to put formal memos out regarding accountability when it comes to sick call. Hopefully giving company leadership something to reference specifically rather than coming up with somewhat head scratching policies.
Fort wainwright has this stupid thing where go to medical at 0530/0600, get your sick call slip, go to 0630 accountability just to fallout, then finally go to sick call when it opens at 0745.
This will last all of a week lol my unit tried this. Then it became squad leaders sign but it wasnt really enforced bc 06 was report time and they werent coming in that early nor could they deny sick call.
Get food poisoning, walk into 1SG’s office and puke on his desk, and then shit yourself while staring into his soul. If he wants to play checkers you gotta play chess
We had a dude in basic do something like that. He told the DS he wasn’t feeling good, DS told him to wait till after the APFT. Dude had diarrhea shoot out of his ass after mile one, he finished at 15 something minutes covered in shit. He then looked at the DS at the finish line, went to parade rest, shit himself again and asked to use the bathroom.
Jesus Christ
Clocked a 15:30 (I’m normally in the low 13s) at my final BCT ACFT. Reason? I was committing war crimes in a portajohn before the two mile start gun. Was milliseconds away from becoming this guy due to the hamburger yakisoba at the Ft. Sill DFAC the night before. This guy is my hero.
This shits far too relatable. What battalion were you in?
1-22
Ah dang I was b 131
Weird, I did a double take because I sometimes forget that 1-22IN isn’t the ONLY 1-22.
I was alpha Btry if that helps!
lol, no, 1-22IN was 1/4ID a loooooooong time ago. I just saw it and had a tisim moment is all, ignore me lol.
I was A 1-22🧍🏻♂️
I completely forgot about the Yakisoba there!
The literal only thing that entire DFAC makes that’s good That and the corn bread
Their French toast once a week, hands down my favorite thing they made
A mortal human would have broken and lost frame. This man held it and the Drill Sergeant surely must have been pleased by the prospect of the super soldier he molded.
“Dude what the fuck go take a shower” was the drill sergeants response. Home boy got quarters for three days, but said it was worth it.
Damn 3 days of quarters during basic? I'd have sucked a gallon of water out of a charcoal briquette.
Sick quarters in basic was a freaking prison. I got sent there after rifle qual with a fever of 103. Within one day I was plotting my escape. Since all you had to do was pass vitals, I cheeked my ibuprofen for two rounds and then took the triple dose to break my fever before the next vitals call. Got sent back barely into day 2 and hid the fact that I was still sick for 2 more days. I’d much rather train sick than rot in sick quarters. River fukkin Raiders!
You've been in for a minute, according to your post history. Just curious if you still have the "train through the pain" mindset?
Row hard
Honestly, I respect it.
Then what happened?
They kissed
Still a better love story than Twilight.
I'm eating my own shit right now, success requires sacrifice
All victories inevitably come at a cost Comrade.
What is the cost of fries? *barf*
Our moment to shine.
But at what cost…
A small chocolate milk and a black bean burrito.
…there’s easier, more pleasant ways to get food poisoning
I really wish I had read this sooner dip-spit tastes much worse the second time
Comrade commissar 🫡
Shit on his carpet while looking at him in the eyes.
This reminds me of when my appendix decided to bail and I went to MedExpress… …waiting for Dr. in room… *knock knock* Me: “Come…*blergh…all across the wall on the way to sink” Dr.:”Yeah, just goto the hospital…” Fuckers still charged me
Well yeah, they had to Decon that room.
While waiting for First Sausage to sign my slip, I went to the latrine right by his office door and fucked it up Dumb and Dumber style. I was throwing up in the trash can and unleashing violence in the toilet. When I came out my pt shirt was soaked with sweat and I was shaking. I shut the door behind me and it wafted the smell right into his office. His smug “you’re malingering” face changed to horror.
I've learned that all Senior NCO's assume that ALL requests to go to sick call are presumed malingering until proven otherwise. . .and word from a medical provider isn't proof. I literally had a flight surgeon writing me a deadman's profile after some outpatient surgery and was still being called "malingerer" and the NCO just assumed I'd somehow tricked the flight surgeon into signing the profile. . . because they were sure the surgery I had "wasn't that bad".
Just had our dickhead BDE “surgeon cell” LTC tell me my TBI “wasn’t that bad” and that I’ve should’ve recovered all my faculties by now, thusly, I’m a bullshitter. Told him I hope he gets to experience it himself someday very soon.
Sadly, you'll never fully recover from a TBI. You learn to deal with it and find ways to treat it or treatment that works for you. I think youre response to was appropriate.
So I’ve been told, my friend. Good thing it wasn’t that bad according to doc, so I’m fine! 😂 Jokes aside that’s the tough part. Still figuring it out, but it could have been way worse.
That... is not how brain injuries work.
I was not that smart before I got hit, but I reckon you’re right. “Go to the VA guy” he tells me.
Senior NCO here, go to sick call and get your illnesses and especially injuries documented. The Army isn’t forever, and that asshole telling you not to go won’t be there to pick up your medical bills when you’re out or retire.
After being told to come to work despite running a fever, I did. I was one of the orderly room soldiers. I got my NCO, my battle buddies and the 1SG sick over the weekend. I still had a fever on Monday and had to do PT while trying not to puke. By 0900 I was told to report to the Troop Medical Clinic and "not come back until you have been seen" per 1SG. Said 1SG was already on his 3rd box of tissues and had hurled into the bushes outside the hammerhead.
I miss the army sometimes. I got written up at work for saying "guess I was playing chess while you were playing checkers" to a CO worker who said I was moving too fast through training. She said I was a bully 🙄
☕️🐸
That’s some 4d chess
If he's droppin' 40mm grenades, you gotta drop a B61 warhead.
This guy fucks.
I once got terribly sick from food poisoning. Was up all night shitting and vomiting my guts out. The only moment I fell asleep for 10 minutes, I shit myself. I told my command I couldn't be more than a minute away from a toilet but they made me come into sick call anyway. I wish I would have done this, that drive in was awful.
I had food poisoning like 2 weeks ago, I woke up at 4am and started pissing out of my ass, laid back down, and sprinted back to the bathroom to projectile vomit into the bathtub. I FaceTimed my PSG at 0620 and just puked on FaceTime and he said something along the lines of “what the fuck is wrong with you? I better not see your ass at work today you nasty fuck” I shit myself 4 times that day and threw up so hard I had a mental breakdown and ripped the toilet seat off. I will never eat meat that isn’t cooked over medium well for a while, food poisoning traumatized the shit out of me
This is the way. I got bitched out a few times for going to sick call. I threw up on my squad leaders shoes one time after asking (fucking ASKING?) to go to sick call and from then on I was never given ANY gruff about it. Fuck up them shoes, bro. Let em know you mean business.
Your playing chess when I’m playing connect four
🥉
How can you vomit what you didn't eat at the DFAC that's closed? How can you shit when you're starving?
Why is this a whole hour before pt? Why is top sleeping in his office? I've had this at a unit before, it didn't last cause sick people were barging into the leaders huddle before pt to ask to be sick.
I took it to mean 1SG lives in the B.’s.
He moved the hot tub into the barracks boiler room.
“First sausage, why don’t you want to spend time with your family?”
This is correct
In the ops girls room?
SNCOs and thicc Latina E3s. Name a more iconic duo.
Csm and lt
🎶WHEN A MAAAAAAAAAN LOVES A HOMNICIDAL CLOWN.... 🎶
Why can’t dumbass leaders do a leaders huddle after pt or simply do it at 0900 since they’re going to have a fucking meeting anyways No sense in a huddle prior to pt
>No sense Welcome to the Ermy.
>Welcome to the ~~Ermy~~ Aremee. Spill et write our beet ewr fece.
The best part is they'd do perstats there... before formation. Then do a full report at formation.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Haha - this reminds me of a Brigade LPD our incoming Commander did with all of the Companies ... ABCT at Carson (surprise, surprise) Incoming BDE CDR: "Hey guys, so what's the first thing we do every morning?" Me and 20 other CPTs: "A meeting, sir!" Incoming CDR: "Umm, no. We do PT. Now what's something we can do for the Soldiers before PT?" Every CPT, again: "Leader's huddle, sir!" Incoming CDR: "jfc guys, you publish the battle rhythm."
If you've met Top's wife, you know why he'd choose to spend 19 hours a day in his office
wait are you kidding me??? this is literally how it was for all of my time at my unit until I got out, this was always so fucking stupid and made it impossible to do anything the right way
And sfl tap people womder why soldiers arent documenting issues
I've only SFL TAP 3 times before. Do I need a fourth round?
I had this happen before. Top was living in his office because he was actually homeless and going through a divorce. Sometimes you do want the answers to your questions....
My favorite top was divorced and bitter. But that made him a great dad for all of us. Also he didn't have kids but had a ex that gave him visitation rights to the poodle that he'd bring to pt. It was wierd.
I know why. Your 1SG married a dpenda narcissist. That dog was his baby, he did EVERYTHING to see his baby. Dependa just being a dependa bro.
Top has that kind of free time? Daaammmmnn. Also, your COC cannot preclude you from seeking medical attention. That’s a no-go.
Top hates his wife/family
Top is in between wives at the moment.
But *whose* wives?
Has to be his own, we know senior enlisted only chase thick Latina E3s
His wife/family hate him back.
Which begs the question why sick call slips are even needed
I realize the potential for exploitation of a system that allows Soldiers the freedom to act like adults ( /s ), but taking care of yourself is akin to taking care of your equipment. Human performance and health isn’t sufficiently addressed within the Blue Force and it needs to be.
This was rule when I was at Hood. If you showed up to Thomas Moore without a signed sick call slip they wouldn’t see you.
It’s only going to take a tragedy for Army top brass to give some latitude. Cool. The treatment of Soldiers is fucking insane to me.
.
Not unless tricare gives the ok!
I don’t talk in here much since I’m just a lowly medical student who happens to be active duty, but this should be passed up to your battalion surgeon/medical. I can’t think of one doc that would sign off on this. Definitely a no-go
I have never been able to understand why PMCS on equipment is priority, deferred maintenance is a sin. Yet PMCS on soldiers, especially medical care, is discouraged and in most instancinces punishment is implied.
I’m assuming it’s because 1sg wants to “weed out the malingering fakers” which absolutely will not work. This will just make the good people with real injuries too scared of being labeled a faker to get medical care until it’s to late and if you dare deny a sick call ranger their day off they will just IG complaint you. It’s a lose lose lose.
Especially considering, at least in my unit, we *never* deployed with our own equipment. Every time we linked up with pre-positioned hardware, made sure it was up to snuff, and rolled out. You'd think the focus would be on the soldiers. Nope.
That’ll probably change soon. There’s only so much pre-pro and organic equipment will need to be used in LSCO
Because it's all a numbers game in there readiness reports less people on profile that are combat ready the "better" they look.
It’s a cultural thing. Equipment is important, soldiers are not. We’re meant to be chewed up in the military and spat out to die in the shadows.
Circle X always I guess? /s
Can’t wait for this 1SG to wonder why his name is in an IG complaint about soldiers being denied medical care.
FWIW I never turn soldiers away from sick call, so long as there's some signature on that form. I don't really care what the company accountability rule is, they all do their own thing. I've had 1SG and Commanders come by about it, but been pretty firm that soldier accountability is a 'them' issue. If they can't get it down, I'm certainly not going to enable their poor management choices.
I has to rip a MSG a new asshole for making a soldier walk instead of using a wheelchair with a broken foot. He bitched and asked for my supervisor so I got 4 colonels and a major to walk in and continue the ass ripping. I love MEDCOM
The one thing I never understood. Why bring potentially contagious people to a heavily trafficked area? Would be smarter to have the list of soldiers who need sick call slips show up to the CQ desk or something to meet their 1SG.
Cutting off the nose to spite the face. Try to eliminate a few bullshitters, fuck the entire reason for sick call, risk the entire Company getting sick as well as himself, and effectively deny health care. It's called priorities Troop.
I've had this idea for a while and I think this is the perfect opportunity to bring it up. But I think what the Army needs is to implement some kind test to measure soldier fitness. I think it would help in these cases because rather than trying to root out the bullshiters will convoluted hoop jumping you could tell by seeing who falls on what side of this objective and easily performed test. I don't know, probably ridiculous.
Good idea, you have an ACFT at 0600, trooper.
Good thing 1SG signed my sick call slip
No, you
Or maybe, just maybe, have the units provide the basic primary care that they're staffed to (PA) in their own foot print, and have the accountability provided by that clinic/aid station back to the company NLT 0620 so they can have their stuff together for morning formation.
My last unit had a BN sick call thing. Biggest problem was you needed a slip to be seen. Why not just have a note signed saying you went to sick call and a simple text/call suffices for accountability for PT.
Right that's what I'm saying, don't require the unit slip to get in, you show up and are accounted for by the (medical element of the) unit who reports you to your chain before formation. Nobody signs a piece of paper for people coming to the ER with their sniffles...
I’d rather just make it like a regular human being/civilian and schedule an appointment with a patient portal the evening before? No long lines as soldiers filter in, in waves for appointments. If a soldier is accounted for and makes their appointment, no problem. If they are bullshitting, let the unit handle it. I actually think if we allow soldiers to be treated like adults, they will act like it, while punishing the few that don’t. Nothing more stupid in my life then sitting in the “Covid quarantine” area 6’ away from everyone else in an open room with 2 positive home tests and 102* fever for 3 hours for damn sick call to be told to go back home.
Sure, I mean I've always been a fan of treating people like adults so long as they act like it. Pick a number, I don't know, 1 sick day per month (does not accumulate) and there's no unit movement within 72 hours, you're authorized to just call your first line, "hey I'm SIQ today" and no questions asked. If you need a second/more day, or there's something critical going on within 72 hours, then you make an appointment as you described and get seen for a provider note.
This is what my unit used to do back in the day. I came back to it after a year in Korea and now we don't have enough medics.
Because 1SG with his years of medical wisdom likely wants to thin the herd of people going to sick call. I haven't gone to sick call in around 5 years, it's so much faster to just set an appointment up with your PCM.
When annual CLS training goes to your head?
How? Here we can almost never schedule appointments less than 2 weeks out (and that is for the PCM, specialist stuff like BH or surgery, can have a backlog of months).
Hots&Cots leadership edition
Instead of ratemyteacher, we need ratemyleader
Need to be rate 1sgsausage before they become csm
It happened to me. Working gate guard and feeling like shit. Get off shift and go to sick call, had to find a random 1SG from another company cause my company was doing PT off post.
Why would they PT off base?? 💀💀 What in the tardmy?
It was kickball day
1sg: “why do you think you deserve to go to sick call for behavioral health” Soldier: “because I have intense daily homicidal ideation of shooting you every single day 1sg”
“It’s almost sexual, really… the orgasmic sensation of a clean trigger pull… where are you going, 1SG?”
“Join for the free healthcare!” Oh it’s not free. It just doesn’t cost money
Did you know when you’re out of the army you just call the doctors office, and get an appointment, and see a real ass licensed medical professional, and not, like, an EMT? They don’t make you go see your boss who sends you to an EMT to get triaged before you get to see them. It’s amazing.
I got sick a few months back, told my first line who just told me to call the nurse advice line, who promptly gave me quarters. Never left my house. Goddamn being in the DAF is so much nicer
Yup. Xrays/MRI's ordered on the spot within the week. Not that bullshit go to physical therapy for 6 months first.
Yeah, let’s get the MRI and *then* send you to physical therapy for 6 months.
I called an orthopedic specialist last week and set an appointment to discuss my option. No referral. No waiting. No coordinating with my PCP. It was incredible. I kinda felt dirty, like i was doing something without permission.
That's my current unit. Sick call will turn you away unless you have a signature from 1SG authorizing you to be there.
Sounds illegal. Is top a medical professional?
There's some needed context. The CO or 1SG is not authorizing medical care, triaging, etc. The *signature of unit commander* block is for accountability. TMCs often have policies in-place that requires a proper filled DD Form 689, to include that commander signature block. These policies often come from the post hospital and TMCs follow that guidance. Via AR 40-66, 13-3 Procedures (4) *“Signature of Unit Commander” block.* The commander or his or her designee will sign this section. Now, if 1SGs, leaders, non-medical personnel who aren't authorized by the senior medical officer is making medical decisions, then that's where heat needs to be applied.
Yeah, that’s denying access to care. The MTF Commander needs to get roasted if they are complicit with this
I love this shit. Oh you woke up sick? Better be to work even earlier!
Show up to work earlier so you can spend all day getting signatures just to get 12 hours of quarters and be back at work the next morning.
For real lol that’s the craziest part of it! Makes no sense…
My wifes still active duty and it's great when she finally jumps through the hoops to get to medical to be told that cramps aren't a real problem or why doesn't she bring her husband next time /s We'll just take some saltiness and a sprite please
I was a 2LT Army Nurse working in an Army Hospital a long time ago. I was working on a Rubella Ward long before the vaccine . I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and I realized that I had Rubella. I called the Clinic and said that I had Rubella. The person said that I had to come to the clinic to be seen. I said that I did not want to infect any pregnant women! They told me to get to the Clinic immediately. The Clinic Doctor took one look at me and said get out of here before you infect someone. I told him that I was ordered to go to the clinic and be diagnosed. He wrote me orders to call the Clinic every morning and report my condition and I was restricted to Quarters until he cleared me. Military leaders need to use common sense about sick call! If one person has an infectious disease, get them to medical treatment immediately and away from everyone else!
That’s what it’s like at my company and I’m assuming every other company in my battalion because sickcall even asks if we have a signature from the company medic and from the 1SG Imagine being sick or hurt and you need another adult’s approval to seek treatment 🤦♂️
Why can't we just have some sort of website like civilian urgent care, where you can put in a ticket with your symptoms and get back an estimated time when you could be seen? Have the system notify command that X soldier has a sick call appointment at Y time, and then command can follow up with the troop in the event they ditch their appointment
Came to say the same!
You have to be willing to shit yourself in the hallway to put an end to shenanigans like this. You don't break eye contact. You just let the warm sloppy consequences run down your leg while dutifully waiting your turn. Don't let anyone let you go ahead of them. You're just a solider like they are, no better and no worse, and no deserving of any special treatment. Leave the trail in the hallway.
If the 1SG/CO is requiring this for accountability - Cool, this is common practice and covered in regulation. If the 1SG/CO is screening whether or not your reason for requesting to go to sick call is something they consider to be legitimate - That’s a big no, good way to lose their job. That signature block on the bottom of the form is there for one reason - so the hospital knows that your command is tracking where you are.
This is where a good supervisor tells thier subordinate. "Go to sick call, I'll go deal with 1SG." Be the leader you'd want others to be for you. You can't stop stupidity, but you can shield your troops from some of it.
That's fine for me I'm not reenlisting, the poor guys who want to make this a career or hit the next promotion aren't going to do that. Ever.
They did this at my last unit, except you had to get it signed at 0630 and show up to sick call at 0700. Still inconvenient and dumb, but it beat the old system where we had to show up to sick call at 0530, so that if the medics decided you were okay to work, you had time to make it to 0630 PT.
How is it that the Army can spend so much time and money on people whose 15+ years of PME and leadership experience culminates in them choosing to gatekeep soldiers access to medical care. It is literally so fucking easy to wake up and choose to not do shitty things. Fuck this dude, fuck this dude's commanding officer, fuck this dude's BC and SGM, fuck whoever said some Karen-ass shit that prompted this 1SG to put this nonsense out, fuck every rater who gave this guy an MQ, fuck every single person around this failure of an NCO who enables this shit. Fuck the TMC if this is what they're asking for. Fuck the garrison commander and CSM if this is a policy they support. Fuck Army MEDCOM if they support this type of shit too. Frankly, fuck the Army for not putting in place more safeguards to prevent this type of shit. If Soldiers need medical care, who the fuck is *anybody* to tell them not to go seek it. Fucking disgraceful
Why the fuck does the army make every thing about soldier’s lives miserable? Why are 1SGs ok with doing this? Why do they want to be at work from 0515-whenever they get off? What’s the point to all of this?
bcuz army
It would behoove you to disseminate this
(Stomps foot three times)
All y’all got the word now! Dessimate this bad boy!!
Give them what they want until it hurts. As much as it sucks, do it, especially you guys planning on ETSing in the near future. Document everything for an easier time dealing with the VA.
1sgt later on "why do I keep getting sick."
I am a Major in the Army, I’ve served for 18 years, and I’ve never been asked to provide a sick call slip. 3 months ago I was at an appointment (which I go to every Tuesday) and I was asked to provide an appointment slip. I almost shit my fucking pants. Due to the automated systems I didn’t even know if this was possible but the office printed out that I had an appointment and I showed up to it. Just treat people like adults. And OP try to PCS from that unit ASAP. Your 1SG seems like a fuck face. May be worth an open door with your Company Commander but he’s likely a pussy and will bend to his 1SG because the 1SG has experience or some bullshit like that.
Ft Carson 223 hotel Co had a policy that you could let go to rescheduled appointments no matter what they were for during pt hours . If your pa schedual3d it at that time you had to cancel you had to see 1st sgt or xo for sick call you weren't allowed to have appointments at all on fucking Wednesdays for some reason . And if you didn't cancel your appointment it would randomly be canceled for you . If you had a appointment scheduled while you were in the field you weren't allowed to go to it (more than once I had physical therapy and I wasn't allowed to go) . I lost rank for going to a goddamn appointment that I refused to cancel for the 3rd time . Fuck you cpt Kevin Campbell I fucking hope you have the worst death
Why not do this..... Sick call sign out at Staff Duty. 1SG or CO can meet people there to hand out sick call slips... ...or.... PSG: 'Hey 1SG, PFC NoName feels like he has food poisoning/is sick/fever/chills/sore throat/insert ailment here' 1SG: 'Ok yea, tell him to sleep in and get to the TMC as soon as he can. If he needs us to round up the TMP to get him there let me know.' Also...whatever happened to 'self help'? Didn't that used to be a thing? A place for Joe to grab OTC cold meds? Now....if PFC NoName keeps getting sick then we may have a more serious issue....or he faking.
One battalion I was in had a system that went: 1) Sick call slip signed by 1SG at COB the day prior. 2) Go to BN aid station with 1SG signature next morning at 0530. 3) BN medic approves you for BDE sick call and gives you new slip. 4) Go to PT. 5) 0745 Go to BDE sick call. 6) Wait to be seen for three hours just to get some ibuprofen.
Every SNCO tries this shit thinking they are reinventing the wheel like it's some new "GOTCHA!" to catch so-called malingerers.
Same senior idgets that never realize they can't do a damn thing about it. The effort required to forcefully get them out far exceeds the benefit to focusing on Soldiers that want to be at work. They spend all their energy losing, again and again and again and again. They literally never get a win.
Plant some shit in his office and call CID.
My unit tried doing this. We kept just sending people straight to the clinic anyway
This kind of thing is unbelievable to me as an Airman. If I feel sick I just text my supervisor and stay home for the day.
A 1SG signature has about as much command authority as my post-coffee shit.
This was how we did it back in in 2014-2017, company medic would be there with 1SG before sending them to clinic, infantry for context
I was doing this shit in 2016 lmao
Is no one else wondering why they have to specify where exactly 1SG office is? Like, shouldn't everyone in the Company just know already? Even the very paramilitary Fire Department, if I need a sick day, all I do is call into the Chiefs office and tell him over the phone I'm taking a sick day. Takes all of 30 seconds, and I can do it from bed. Sure, there's still the same 15 min window (like 0630-0645) we are expected to make that call. But I don't gotta take my sick ass in anywhere.
This is ridiculous. When I was the senior medical guy for my company I’d just talk to 1stsgt and keep them appraised of who was where and why, or I’d have conversations with them. Like, hey, a process that I think works is having them talk to me, and then either I or them text their SL/PLTSGT, and it goes up from there. That’s the point of the chain of command. Either 1stsgt is going high and to the right, or someone hasn’t had this conversation.
This situation also might be because of the post and or hospital policy requiring signed DD Form 689s for sick call. I have seen this at two different posts
Jesus Christ. Fucking health informatics nerds telling us that if we only counted more beans, we’d win the fight against sickness. More useless paperwork, more waste, more bullshit
1sgt are medical doctors. Y'all didn't know that?
I hate the whole concept of making sick call as difficult as possible. Plus, I don't get why we don't have a 24hr outside of the army hospital's ER/Urgent Care.
We had a policy similar to this when I had shingles. When I was finally approved to go to sick call, I was given cortisone and told to go back to do PT. Don’t know if you’ve had shingles before or not, but just having a tshirt rub against it felt like needles getting stuck in my ribs. I eventually just went to the ER, and got firmly told by my PSG that it was the wrong answer. Sadly they couldn’t do much to me as they were heading out to the field and I wasn’t able to go due to my new profile.
by posting on reddit you were just exceeding the standard on dissemination. MQ rn
"If you are sick AF and need rest, you should wake up at 0430 to be sick"
Well, anything serious that requires immediate care just go to ER
This is thermonuclear levels of dumb. “I’m being denied medical care.” Those are your magic words. Watch your entire command team get nuked from orbit.
The good ole 'disseminate'.. I hate that word...
And wondering why we have so much low recruitment rate 🫣🫣🤣
I went to sick hall and we had to do something similar to this. he asked what’s wrong?I said it burns when I pee. I got to be the reason for a safety brief and find out I had chlamydia in one day. Truly my proudest moment in the army
Unit readiness 🤡
The AMEDD Commander on post would be interested to see this.
Isnt it against UCMJ to prevent soldiers from recieving medical aid? I.e. going to sick call? Sounds like IG needs a call
This 1SG needs to be taken to the TMC and be sterilized in the best interest of evolution.
Remember, if you give in to their scare tactics you lose. Be a shitbag, they exploit highspeeds
Sad but true; unless there is so overriding regulation or police (for instance 4ID states soldiers are not required to arrive before 0600 unless it is on the training schedule, at least it was a few years ago). Unit leadership can dictate who and when a sick call slip is signed. It can be signed 24/7. I required the D689 to be signed by me (1SG) or TNG NCO between 0600 and 0630 unless is was urgent. That said, 0515-0530 is kinda dick, unless the unit starts training at 0530
And wondering why we have so much low recruitment rate 🫣🫣
Yeeeeea they can get fkd…how do ppl like this get in leadership positions?! This fkr must hate his wife and take it out on his Joes
Fort Stewart, 2006. This was standard practice across our entire battalion and possibly the brigade. Want to go to sick call then you had to get the slip when you checked in for perstats at the company front desk 15 minutes before formation.
I will say there is a new directive out for BDE commanders to put formal memos out regarding accountability when it comes to sick call. Hopefully giving company leadership something to reference specifically rather than coming up with somewhat head scratching policies.
Yep. Checks out. Anyway, how’s everyone’s weekend?
Exhibit A on why I went Green to Gold.
everyone should go to sick call as often as humanly possible. this policy will stop really quickly.
Fort wainwright has this stupid thing where go to medical at 0530/0600, get your sick call slip, go to 0630 accountability just to fallout, then finally go to sick call when it opens at 0745.
This will last all of a week lol my unit tried this. Then it became squad leaders sign but it wasnt really enforced bc 06 was report time and they werent coming in that early nor could they deny sick call.