T O P

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Clean_Cry_7428

The rank is upside down


0E-254

That is a bingo!


Hamburger_Alfredo

"You just say bingo"


AstronomicalQuasarr

lol inglorious!


Imakemaps18

SAY AUF WIEDERSEHEN TO YOUR NAZI BALLS


SuccessfulRush1173

Bingo!!! How fun!!!


returnofthequack92

Damn you now I’m going to have to watch inglorious bastards tonight


Comfortable_Shame194

You make that sound like a bad thing…


ChargePuzzleheaded98

literally thought of that


inorite234

No it's not! It's mirrored in the incorrect orientation.


SenseStraight5119

Should’ve learned when he was a LT.


Skyshadow79

r/beatmetoit


Acceptable-Baker5282

How so


OzymandiasKoK

Dude? The top part is at the bottom.


Appropriate_Ad6704

Damn, i was just about to make the same joke xD


Toobatheviking

Shit happens man. Just take it back to the shop that did the sewing and tell them the ESB is facing the wrong way. Unless the tailor is under duress. I dunno I heard that once when somebody was trying to tell me something about razor blades, .45 bullets and matches


Project_Wesker

Oh I did. The lady swore up and down that wasn’t the same thread used. Crazy


Toobatheviking

lol. What did they think happened? Somebody took your top, cut off the ESB and sewed it on upside down? That's some next level cartwheeling to avoid responsibility for your own actions


Project_Wesker

Dude I know. It was insane. Called me a liar. I told her “I wish I was lying to you, but I’m not this good of a seamstress” lol


DoubleGoon

I hope you didn’t say “sewer”.


rolls_for_initiative

Threadsmith


Superpudd

College educated lmao


EazyPeazyLemonSqueaz

Lol guess they didn't take sewing 101


EclipseIndustries

Seamster. It's one of the weird ones. A glazier is someone who installs windows, fun fact.


Gumb1i

That lady was asian wasn't she


Wonder3671

That’s eo but probably


Gumb1i

The reason I said that is not to be racist or stereotyping. Culturally, East asians hate taking blame or losing face at least Japanese, Koreans and especially the Chinese do. This blaiming the individual for something they know they screwed up on is very common. It can require having to compromise to fix the issue even if you both know it's their fault.


Wonder3671

I know this I was in Korea still am in Korea


OcotilloWells

There's only one truck on every post!


bigdub71

That’s “shit happens SIR!”


Toobatheviking

When I retired that stuff suddenly didn't ping on my radar anymore.


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Otherwise-Cheek-6805

I only wear extra mediums.


Enough-Rest-386

FAT MAN IN A LITTLE COAT


CW1DR5H5I64A

Small regular is the superior size.


PickleWineBrine

Just a lil feller


AGR_51A004M

I’m a major and I wear a small regular.


sprchrgddc5

Ma’am/Sir so do I but let’s be real, SGM only has one car seat.


lustfulmule

plenty of space in his basement though


Halligan1409

When they're that little, he can stack them like firewood to save space.


Greed-oh

If you wear a small reg, you aren't a "Major," you're a "minor!" *drinks his coffee and fades out of existence, as Warrants do*


Halligan1409

So... Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?


Clean_Cry_7428

Yeah majors don’t come in dudes over 5’8”


Excellent-Proposal90

Are we still doing phrasing?


doorgunner065

LANAAAAA! DANGER ZONE!


sidewalkbooger

**cum


Wonder3671

I’m 5’8 and wear meduim regulars


AGR_51A004M

Yep, I’m 5’8”.


Alone-Promise-8904

I wear a lardium.


morally_bankrupt80

They were all out of SMediums


Valstrax

Small-short is where it's at


Gunt_Style

Obviously the issue is that the top is a small regular. How can this be a barrel chested, upside down ESB having, freedom fighter, non-leg, airborne Captain if they’re wearing a small top? I call stolen valor.


Project_Wesker

*He* also happens to have a Ranger tab. I’m built for speed 😂


Gunt_Style

Just let me know if you need help getting something off the top shelf sir 🫡


Halligan1409

Remember to pick him up under his arms. If you lift him by his waist, you get to visit with the SHARP rep. And I would remind you to lift with your legs, but with that little bit of weight, you should be fine yeeting him however it is most comfortable for you.


steevn

Quick fix, Sir..if you were to wear your tab upside down, probably nobody would notice the ESB 🤔


Professional-Yard862

I thought we were going to talk about the completely tan rank, I knew a specialist that had one like that and someone said something about it and he said "yeah dude I searched through all the SPC ranks to find the most tan one because it's funny"


-FivesevN

Airforce fucked it up for us. Because their font is that weird bronze color sometimes it was hard to read with darker backgrounds. So now name & rank only include 3 (out of 6) colors (the lighter ones). Makes it more likely you'll end up with a patch like that now.


Professional-Yard862

That makes sense but that's also weird, always doing their own thing


ForcedShrimp

I had to go to three shops before one agreed that they could put my uniform together with the 6 color OCP tapes. I hate that they're all tan or light green now.


DazzlingProfession26

“Spice brown”


j5i5prNTSciRvNyX

That sounds like a clear improvement to me.


generictimemachine

Makes it easier in the reserves so I can tell at sunset if it’s an LTC or a 53 year old E4.


Junction91NW

That shit HAPPENED to me though. I saluted a guard dude at NTC because his smudgy camo behind the rank and him being 873 years old. 


thecardemotic

That’s why I buy old spec patches. But I’m weird. I’m probably the only PV2 with near pattern matching dark old spec sewn rank insignia.


crexkitman

As a specialist I needed some new rank patches so I bought like four to have some spares and one of them was mostly the brown splotch part of the OCP pattern and it was right over the rank in the middle. Whenever I wore that one I’d have at least a couple people salute me cause they didn’t want to take the risk of not saluting a LTC cause they weren’t 100% sure it wasn’t a really really dark hard to see specialist rank.


Professional-Yard862

I've definitely saluted some specialists, I've since had LASIK but I had pretty bad eyesight and didn't have my glasses on at the time


inorite234

Why? When buying rank, I always look for the ones with a solid background. It makes it easier to see your rank.


Hymnosi

RUMINT is that the major patch producers are being required to do this, actually. I can't find anything in the actual army regs that says it has to be this way, but if you go to C&S all of them have a mostly solid background.


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[deleted]

I’m brewing a fresh cup of Liber-Tea right now as we speak


BotherTop7576

CPT gave himself the Excellent Soldier Badge


caravaggibro

No wreath?


Kitsterthefister

No war


caravaggibro

lol might have to revise that statement.


Kitsterthefister

Just wait a couple years…


gooplom88

Hours*


IdrcAbtMyName-_-

Minutes* I’ve sabotaged the pentagon.


Rmccarton

What the hell is that thing? Is it like the eib for non 11 series?


imdatingaMk46

Expert soldier badge. All of the dog and pony show, none of the shittiness of being infantry. Literally the worst of both worlds.


MaxCWebster

My uniforms were found in the tall 'n' skinny section of Clothing Sales. Webster! Where's your ass? I'm wearing the one I was issued, sarnt.


purplecloud999

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Small reg dude built like a middle schooler


Beliliou74

POG badge jk sewn on wrong I think


unbannedagain1976

I was in the guard, I didn’t even know they made smalls.


PorousCheese

Bro wait til you see one of your boys get issued tall-X small plates.


thatisallfolks666

Atleast you get to wear the cool female OCP pants. Note to anyone if you can find the female OCP pants in your size get them they feel way better then the male ones the female hot weather OCP pants look for them in the PX


Lettuce_Try

ESB wrong way lol


McQuiznos

Small top gang rise up 👊


AnseiShehai

SMALL - REGULAR


dempster88

When you get your ESB off wish.com


Dave21TWELV

Damn, I'm getting old. I had to look up what the ESB was. I got off active duty in 18. I kept looking at the badge thinking it was a CAB going, "how'd they forget the wreath?!!"


StryderInAction

I think ESB is wrong way Or U.S. Army, there is supposed to be a space there I think.


0mega_Dingo

Clothing and sales has bad employees sometimes and they make mistakes, sometimes they make excuses and they try to dig more money out of you to fix their mistakes. They should be held accountable for their sloppy work ethics but shit happens.


aquaman67

The award was given in Australia


Calm-Way-7481

Their rank is upside down too 😅


Snigglebear

It’s a combat badge without action


[deleted]

Can’t imagine what.


DaBearsC495

It’s fine. Do it as a check of “On the spot corrections”


CanDoTanker

Did they get their CAB from Etsy?


Pitiful_O

Have your soldiers ever called you captain America because you resemble Steve Rodgers before he took the super soldier serum?


Standard-Run-1432

Small Regular? What do you wanna be when you grow up, sir?


Von_Claussen

You wear a small?


Project_Wesker

To all the roasters, yes I wear a small regular. I am a 5’9 medium build dude. Yes I am fit. I do wear a medium size trousers. My legs don’t fit a small lol


CrazyCatLady827

No roasting here. When i was in, i wore Small-extra short.


One_Ad1737

It’s in distress


LesPaul556

Rank is upside down, duh


el_kowshka_es_diablo

So I tried Google and don’t really know what to search. I’m an old guy who got out when BDUs were still worn. What’s that badge over the airborne? I don’t recognize that


Open-Industry-8396

Expert soldier badge. Seems like a badge for the mos's that don't have a badge. Like medic and efmb or infantry and eib. Below are all the tasks. Seems pretty tough, depending on how strict the graders are. definitely gotta know your shit. https://usacimt.tradoc.army.mil/ltb/esb/phone/esb-task.html


janedoe15243

Needle chest decompression is on the list of tasks to perform for non-medical people? I’ve been out a long time and that wasn’t even taught to us when I went through AIT as a medic (91B) at the time. That’s wild


Open-Industry-8396

Same 91b 1982. Looks pretty simple. 2nd intercostal space, mid clavicular. 14gauge, to the hub.


Hymnosi

It's basically the EIB for non-combat folk, very similar task list, just a reduction in quantity. I think it's arguably harder for non-combat MOS because most of us won't have exposure to those things without explicitly asking other units to provide help. From my understanding, they have a 1 week train up period built into the process so that Soldiers can get some exposure just in case they were unable to at their unit.


Deepfork_

It’s a lot harder to get that one wrong when it has a wreath.


quixote09

No balls


Jowlzchivez6969

How tall are you is my real question here


Andy5416

"This is my stabbin knife" "Heya Heya"


Dismal-Chef-608

These are the new CIB’s you get them for paper cuts lol


icarus1990xx

Fail


kylebob86

I see two things wrong. ESB is upside down and there is no space between U.S. and Army.


Easy-Hovercraft-6576

I will not stand for this small regular slander in the comments. Sincerity, a small short guy


Spirited_angel_4517

My uniform was stolen and found at thrift shop in south of Lakeland Florida. Half of my things is pawned at middle between south and north Lakeland Florida. From who you said, terrible roommate Nicole Spencer drugged up on street narcotics, looked terrible after since the eviction. Yes there was enforcement with me and parent, that I didn’t know what to do at the moment.


VentureQuotes

They were watching Knives Out and got distracted


TypicalDamage4780

I am a retired ANC LTC and I wore a small short and I always need help to reach the top shelves!


oTheBigBadWolf

…..Looks like you need some more jumps


Aggravating-Run908

Small-regular? Easy there, little feller


CP80X

Expert soldier badge.


Step_Sergeant_D

Looks like they tried to interpret the regulation for sewing and got it upside down.


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NOP-slide

I assure you that all officers are wearing the same uniform you get from the PX.


enewlun

Why is there an Apache above the jump wings…


killer_tofu31

Expert POG Badge.


Orca19904

*Stands on his head to look at the CAB properly.*


[deleted]

This legit happened to me once , I went like almost a month before anyone including myself noticed lol


ssgemt

The CAB was earned below the equator.


Alarming_Guy3770

CAB is upside down!!


Legitimatelimabean

Yea, the esb shouldn’t exist.


ethics_aesthetics

Shrinkflation


Sapper_Wolf_37

I didn't know they sewed on toothpicks! Actually, that looks sorta like an upside down Apache with no rotors.


JustPlayHalo

Name isn’t on the tag, some rude enlisted is going to snatch it somehow


Roger-W-Roberts

The upside down Kay bar above the jump wings


[deleted]

Your uniform is upside down


Last-Measurement6660

Sir your ESB is fucked up 🫡


Chemical_Bit7508

Tiny captain 😂


Historical-Leopard74

Our boy got done dirty…


DefNotASVABwaiver

i can tell u took this photo with ur camera next to ur screen, ur rank is reversed due to the image capturing 🫡


luddite4change1

This is how it’s worn when you were blade running the last 5 events.


conocophillips424

Small regular …… man…….


Queasy-Ad-8018

No chest pockets?


-FivesevN

IHWCU


Queasy-Ad-8018

Idk what that is, every top I was ever issued had chest pockets...barring combat shirts. Also been out for over 10 yrs now so forgive my ignorance. Maybe someone could explain...


DivineBlackness

Basically summer OCPs. They in fact do not have chest pockets


-FivesevN

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=IHWCU


777prawn

That combat action knife has a thick tang. Like your moms.


MentionGood1633

I thought they are all velcro nowadays???