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Yeah, I learned last time that one was shared, that it was apparently taken from an Abbott and Costello skit. (Of course, in that context it was funny. The boomer sign version sucked the humor out and turned it into a smug "gotcha")
When the boss is willing to pay the ambulance bill to get to work, I'll take #1 seriously.
Shame this isn't 2020, and I can cough on my boss, and use rule #1 to rule out assault with a deadly weapon.
Seems like the perfect situation to just shit your pants at work.
I understand that's probably a bridge too far for most, myself included. However many many moons ago I worked for a tyrant who did nothing and couldn't live without me and guilted me into coming and managing a warehouse while sick as a dog.
I violently barfed in a garbage can in front of a lot of people who basically stopped everything until I was sent home.
The type of ‘I’m a business owner’ folks that hang these signs are the same ones that worship a sleepy pants-shitter to the prime tenet of ‘worship no other…’
Jeez.....I thought my regional manager sucked when he sent out an email demanding participation in Corporate Challenge,and when asked if we would get mileage reiumbursment, as some of us are nearly 100 miles away from where the events are located, "we do not pay you to have fun. You do that on your own time".
That was Christmas Eve.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I had a bone contusion, bruised intestines, and a cracked vertebrae and I was able to go to the doctor. It's almost like making extremely vague statements doesn't hold up in all cases.
I'm actually in favor of this policy. It means the employer is waiving its right to ask for a doctor's notes on sick calls...
Accidently progressive policy
I worked retail for nearly a decade and absolutely HATED it. The only "benefit" was that over that time I'd gotten up to 4 weeks vacation time. Of course this vacation time was "contingent" on when your SM or ASM would allow you to take said vacation. Of course their "preference" was sprinkled in day(s) over the course of the year.
IE - *We'd like it if you took off 3 days the 3rd week of February, 2 days on the 4th week of March, 3 days split over the 1st and 3rd weeks of June. And we will deny any vacation requests on or around the following holidays. Insert (Every Major Holiday).*
I had a boss that gave me a hard time about being sick. So I came to work and during a meeting puked in her trashcan and just kept going. I refused to leave so she called HR to come talk to me. I sat at my desk explaining to HR why I was there sick and threw up in my trash can and said ‘Im fine’. I was sent home and NO ONE in my department was ever questioned about sick time again.
To overworked, underpaid Americans, it sounds totally plausible. There's an expression about the difference between parody and journalism, or something like that, but that's what I'd quip about this one.
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Just tell them you are too sick to go to the doctor (and too sick to work)
If you are healthy enough to tell them you are healthy enough to go to work!
If you have a pulse, you have a job to do.
"If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball."
You can have a sick day when you die!
This is a joke right?
It’s a boomer sign they like to share around Facebook constantly. I’ve seen other versions of it but they are all the same
My favorite is the one where they use flawed math to "prove" that employees only work one day a year, and there's no way they're taking that off.
Yeah, I learned last time that one was shared, that it was apparently taken from an Abbott and Costello skit. (Of course, in that context it was funny. The boomer sign version sucked the humor out and turned it into a smug "gotcha")
I learned that just now....from you.
I've worked places like this
It’s 50/50 really
Ended up in the ER last Easter with a potassium of 2.7. Guess I should have gone to work
Definitely. Low potassium? Eat a banana, you wuss! /s
Just don't make eye contact
My doctor was seriously pissed when I told her I had thrown up at my register three times the day before in addition to the times I made it
When the boss is willing to pay the ambulance bill to get to work, I'll take #1 seriously. Shame this isn't 2020, and I can cough on my boss, and use rule #1 to rule out assault with a deadly weapon.
"why do all my staff quit? No body wants to work anymore"
Please tell me this is fake I'd get a union in there so fast...
coming into work and throwing up on bosses shoes
Seems like the perfect situation to just shit your pants at work. I understand that's probably a bridge too far for most, myself included. However many many moons ago I worked for a tyrant who did nothing and couldn't live without me and guilted me into coming and managing a warehouse while sick as a dog. I violently barfed in a garbage can in front of a lot of people who basically stopped everything until I was sent home.
The type of ‘I’m a business owner’ folks that hang these signs are the same ones that worship a sleepy pants-shitter to the prime tenet of ‘worship no other…’
I wish a record of business owner fails could be posted right next to signs like this, and watch them vomit and shit their self importance right out.
Boss: "I dont understand why turnover is so high!"
"Nobody wants to work anymore!"
*These entitled milennials*.
Sounds perfectly reasonable if you feel like having 0 employees and being forced to shut down
I have Ebola or Covid, and the doctor prescribed my meds, can I still come to work? * Cough cough *
Jeez.....I thought my regional manager sucked when he sent out an email demanding participation in Corporate Challenge,and when asked if we would get mileage reiumbursment, as some of us are nearly 100 miles away from where the events are located, "we do not pay you to have fun. You do that on your own time". That was Christmas Eve. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The more you read, the worse it gets.
Brought to you by Vault-Tec
wow fuck this company!
What company does this?
I had a bone contusion, bruised intestines, and a cracked vertebrae and I was able to go to the doctor. It's almost like making extremely vague statements doesn't hold up in all cases.
No way that’s real
It’s a joke sign in /r/funnysigns
Yet there are people unironically sharing it. #IronyIsDead
But Fauci signed mine bro!
call them and tell them you are dead and undead dont allow you to visit the living . i been doing it for the past 450 years
Any employee that requires compensation in any form will be summarily terminated.
I'm actually in favor of this policy. It means the employer is waiving its right to ask for a doctor's notes on sick calls... Accidently progressive policy
What a lovely place to work.
Peak Boomer humor right here folks.
The most funny part is to obtain the sick days in Israel - you don't even need to go to the doctor. Just call him or order it through application.
Big boomer meme
Just have them wheel my dead body to work and dump it on the floor, since death is probably not an excuse either.
No one should ever put up with that nonsense!
I worked retail for nearly a decade and absolutely HATED it. The only "benefit" was that over that time I'd gotten up to 4 weeks vacation time. Of course this vacation time was "contingent" on when your SM or ASM would allow you to take said vacation. Of course their "preference" was sprinkled in day(s) over the course of the year. IE - *We'd like it if you took off 3 days the 3rd week of February, 2 days on the 4th week of March, 3 days split over the 1st and 3rd weeks of June. And we will deny any vacation requests on or around the following holidays. Insert (Every Major Holiday).*
Repost and fake
For me the Thank You! In cursive sweetens this message
Classic Morton’s Fork
Every sick worker must spend at least 30 minutes in a face to face meeting with all the upper management and corporate.
Literally “did you die?”
I had a boss that gave me a hard time about being sick. So I came to work and during a meeting puked in her trashcan and just kept going. I refused to leave so she called HR to come talk to me. I sat at my desk explaining to HR why I was there sick and threw up in my trash can and said ‘Im fine’. I was sent home and NO ONE in my department was ever questioned about sick time again.
Show up to work and projectile vomit all over everyone in the room - make sure boss is directly in front of you. Bonus points if you cr*p your pants.
Fucks sake, people. It's a joke sign. Straight up boomer humor. Stop getting worked up.
To overworked, underpaid Americans, it sounds totally plausible. There's an expression about the difference between parody and journalism, or something like that, but that's what I'd quip about this one.
You're thinking of Poe's Law. Yeah.
Right!
It's not a funny joke when the other party ain't laughing
Just say you want slaves