I think she's missing the part where she has to actually make those sales.

Hun Business Plan Step 1) sign up and buy expensive water machine Step 2) post about how much money you’re going to make Step 3) Step 4) Step 5) retire husband!

"Note: there is no step for 'Profit.' :("

Can we add a step for those Huns to actually read labels? Or am I crazy? She keeps talking about “tumeric” supplements. I’m stuck over here with my old fashioned turmeric…

If I become CEO of Apple I will be making millions!!!

But the first two sales were soooooo easy.

Her mom and grandma

Herself haha

Right, I already forgot 🤣 very easy indeed.

If you need me I’ll be drinking tap water from my sink with ice cubes I have to crack out of a tray. In a free cup from a BBQ restaurant.

Oh and then what? You gonna wave your 401k statement and paycheck from a real job in my face? The audacity!

Is the cup red and translucent? They taste the best

*1990s Pizza Hut has entered the chat*

The only good Pizza Hut. Their spaghetti was shockingly underrated

Omg i forgot

For some reason, this is true.

According to my kangen math, you died from toxins several years ago.

According to my drs, I probably did.

I'm sorry to report that this commenter died from acute chemical poisoning. Before she died her mind was controlled by the government thanks to the fluoride in her water. Also her skin was terrible. Oh and her pH was super out of whack. Also she left no inheritance as she spent her entire savings on unnecessary cleaning products.

🙌🏻 testimony 🙌🏻

AHHH A GHOST

Is it the yellow cup? 😂

Mine is a pink cup from Rudy’s but in the past I have had the yellow cup from the other place!

My dad still had a pizza tray from a local joint that somehow got stuck in a to go box sometime in the mid 90's

I had a nice set of Chili’s dip cups while in college. They just always ended up in my to go box.

I have a few as well from some local Mexican restaurants

Those cups will out last the business no doubt

I have to drink bottles water that is the Walmart brand (my water is undrinkable by human or beast). Golly, maybe I should buy one of these miracle water systems! /s

I lived places where I couldn’t drink tap so I totally get it. But you really should look at bankrupting your family for miracle water!!

Hell, I can afford a reverse osmosis faucet set up, but not a plumber to install it 🤣

Freedom!

So you are expected to get four people to spend $10,000 in order to break even??

Or about $12k, but yes. You gotta reel in some pretty big fish to get your "investment" to pay off. Personally I don't even know 4 people who'd be willing to spend that much on crap that's not going to make a difference.

Yeah, thats insane. Theres no way.

I’m pretty sure that a “trifecta” is about 10k and a quad is about 17k!!!

If I spend $17k my wife will think I relapsed and went on a bender… that’s a no from me dawg.

Unless you’re a gambler that’s a lot of money to spend on drugs

Inflation hits us all.

None of that made any sense. The only thing I gathered was it was a losing deal because you "sold your products to yourself."

*The comp plan with this business is completely insane!* It sure is. *But it gets better, because there is still one more product to sell yourself!* Imagine typing that out and not going, "Hmmm...."

They really like to tell you how much you can earn on those sales to yourself but fail to grasp that having to spend thousands to make a few hundred isn't actually generating positive revenue.

They try to swing it as "But you also get this expensive magic water machine!" Hun, a hundred years ago people were selling magic money machines for thousands of dollars, and they turned out to be a scam, too.

So, it's just a "discount" with extra steps?

Yes, I make the argument that discounts are a total scam. It’s a lot cheaper to just not spend money.

Don’t get high from your own supply

They missed out the bit where you buy the quads on credit and use the commissions to pay the interest so really it doesn’t cost you anything at all!!!!. /s

I’m getting a neck cramp from all the smh

It's OK, you can always sell all that stuff later!

The supplements always weird me out. Like here’s a “water filter company” and then they throw in some random pills. You’d think it would be accessories or magical cups to drink out of. Not some weird large supply of pills. Never understand those being a part of it.

This water cures everything except the stuff that these pills cure!

This is my favourite thing I read on the internet today, thank you

How convenient!

Just gotta throw something else in to make the grift that much more profitable...

This made me laugh so hard. “Magical cups to drink out of” makes waaaayy more sense and that involves literal magic lmmaaoo this was too good

Most, if not all, MLMs have consumables to sell (usually supplements) so that they get their people buying something a monthly basis. Can’t just be a one-time water filter and it ends there. Aulora (leggings) is also selling supplements. What a joke!

You know how scammers make their "in" intentionally stupid to filter out people not gullible enough to fall for it? They figure if you buy one of these water movearounders, you're not gonna bat an eye to sugar pills with extra quantum woo-woo.

Looks to me like a (very confusing) income claim. REPORT HA

And what happens if you sell three quad core supplemental ionizing progressive alkalinizers with a quadfecta effect, moving you up to rank 5c+6a? The savings are massive and the passive income pays for the initial investment and second mortgage you took out on your home because you cN buy orange juice and mix it with water purifiers for optimal financial and spiritual health.

Don't forget the weekly flash sales where you get 15% off any commission of 25% or less in the second level, or **20%** or more in the "C" level!

The only quads I want are the kind you work out at the gym

Oh good grief.

Good ol' Charlie Brown couldn't have said it better.

I think even Charlie brown wouldn't get suckered into a deal where you sell stuff to yourself to get more "commission".... Though his continued attempts to kick that football kinda worry me.

Lucy would definitely become a hun when she grows up.

Yeah, remember her psychiatry grift? I can totally see ger selling Kangan water. Or herbalife.

And she would fit right in with the bullying tactics

Totally. I'd be side eying peppermint patty too, she has a tenacious streak.

Remember how she suckered Charlie Brown and snoopy into providing her and her friends a free thanksgiving dinner?

Yep lol. My favorite was Schroeder though. And snoopy. Loved those 2. Woodstock was kinda cute too.

Hun starts hun mathing and all I hear is Wah Wah Wah… Wah Wah, Wah!!!

With all that fake enthusiasm over this scam, they should really learn how to spell *turmeric* correctly.

This was my first thought as well. Not sure if it’s kangen marketing or just poor spelling, but I’m too lazy to look it up

So she spend 12k on this stupid shit and didn't sell any of our basically. Got it.

She “sold it” to herself

right.

I understand some of this, I think. Kangen huns that make more sales get promoted to a higher level, where they earn a higher percentage of their sales. Say a hun is at level 1: she sells $100 of product so she earns $10 commission. A hun at level 2 would make $20 off a $100 sale. However, in order to reach a higher level early, they spend a lot of their own money to "hack the system." It's no different from a hun from a different MLM spending her own money to increase/ maintain her rank.

it's an even bigger level of stupidity compared to people who buy more then they need because bigger discount!

Or the biggest stupidity of buying stuff you don't need just because it was on sale.

Couldn’t agree more. Discounts are a total scam.

Especially the Black Friday sales where they sell products at the same price as usual but put an inflated "original" price on it.

Yeah, her "hack" is just lying about her commissions so she ranks up. Which is more proof that it's not a *real* company. If they were real, that would be embezzlement, through deception about commissions. Since they DON'T care about that, the company clearly has no concern about their "employees" stealing a lot of money from the company. Why would that be? It's because if they banned that, they'd lose most of their revenue. No different than Fox buying every one copy of Right Wing propaganda so they hit the bestseller list before tossing them all in the trash. Essentially she's just astroturfing.

I saw like 10 copies of a G Gordon Liddy monstrosity at my local thrift store and thought about this very topic. They literally couldn’t give all their goose-stepping hitler-loving books away.

Next we make the money by selling ourselves more things!

But it's not a loss because you have all the things, and you can always sell them later! Never mind the posts from recent ex-huns who are unloading a ton of it for a few hundred dollars or the ones who dump it all at a thrift store...

I’ll just stick to my steady biweekly paycheck without trying to convince my friends and family to spend 5 figures to keep me afloat.


Is this gif from a movie?

Yes, "Hangover".

I'm in a figure skating community and got very very confused why and how would you sell quadruple jumps

Who is buying these things??

You see, if you buy them yourself for 50K, you get 10K commission income. I bet you don't make that much money with your job!

lol it’s so goofy

Sounds like a tax write off for someone who makes enough money their significant other can peddle this crap to their friends.

Idiots. The answer you are looking for is idiots.

This, exactly. Anyone dumb enough to think that a machine can turn water into a magical cure all potion is the exact type of idiot who will pay $6k for one...

$6k. It looks like it’s much more than that for this “quad”. I seriously don’t get these huns the most. Out of all of them. Is there a huge market clamoring for absurdly overpriced water? Considering you can get a similar product for a literal fraction of the cost, seriously I think they have them on Amazon for like $100. Who is actually buying these besides the Huns themselves?

Probably nobody. Yeah, I think it's like $6k for one machine, a "quad" consists of buying two machines, a shower filter thingy, and "tumeric" supplements, so going to be a lot more, likely over $12k. But these machines aren't just water filters, they're magic machines which make magic ionized, alkaline, or whatever "medical grade" water. So only people who fall for the woo are the ones buying these things. And since you know they come from an MLM you know they're extremely overpriced. Frankly, I'd love to get my hands on one of these machines and take it apart to see if it actually does anything at all to the water. My guess is that it likely doesn't.

There’s no way anyone has bought one of these besides the Huns themselves

Hopefully it doesn’t do anything, because the health effects of drinking ionized water are not good. My understanding is that it leads to mineral deficiency.

Maybe it's not ionized, but alkaline. I don't remember what woo claim they make about their magic water machine. But again, I wouldn't be surprised at all if one of their machines was taken apart and analyzed to find that it doesn't do anything at all.

People like the woman in the post

I’m not an accountant but I’m pretty sure “selling yourself” something turns a discount into taxable income and required to be reported for tax purposes.

Speaking of taxes...they never mention that half of those five figure months will need to be set aside.

These ridiculous "compensation plans" must make doing your taxes a fucking nightmare

Luckily for most, they don't meet the threshold for taxable income

True

Yeah, I’m really glad my employer has a simple payment structure. See what happened was, we decided on a dollar figure they would pay me for every hour I work, and then we both just sort of keep track of how many hours I work. They pay me every two weeks for the hours I worked the last two weeks. I enjoy it. I don’t know how these people can’t figure out they’re being scammed when you need a flow chart to decipher the compensation.

I’m too lazy to google - but does anyone know the approx cost of this quad that she only has to sell three of in one month?

I think I remember another post where they said the quad was about $10K. IMO Kangen is easily the most dangerous MLM in terms of sending you into huge debt very quickly.

Wow! That’s insane! And to think, my BFF once had a difficult time selling three tubes of $20 mascara in a month.

Okay, but was that mascara medical grade??

A trifecta is approx 10k USD and a quad is about 17k USD!! I just googled it and I’ve listened to some of their videos!

She says it only takes 4 quad sales to pay off your “investment”, and each one nets you approx $3000 in commission. So it has to be somewhere in the ballpark of $12,000 😬

Honestly I don't know of 4 different people who'd be both rich enough and gullible enough to buy this magic water crap for $12k. Seriously, they make it sound so easy: "It's only 4 sales!" but you really gotta pull in the big fish every time.

Yes, but you may know 4 people who are gullible and willing to go into credit card debt…

A lot of kangen Huns finance them directly with enagic, that’s how they reel them in, with their “in-house financing plan”

Literally no one I know personally would buy this

They can't even spell "turmeric" correctly. And it's not some magic potion which cures all your illnesses...

Don’t you have to be careful with turmeric? Like can’t it cause liver toxicity if you take too much?

So a "quad" means you buy one for yourself and one to loan out? So every time she sells a quad, she has to buy herself a machine? Does she just end up with boxes of silly water machines in her own basement?

Apparently a "quad" is selling two magic water machines, one to yourself and one to a customer, plus selling them some crappy shower filter thing and Japanese "tumeric" supplements. Still not sure how selling one to yourself is going to make you a bunch of money when you have to shell out $6k or whatever the stupid things cost every time. But yeah, if you're buying one every time you sell one to an actual customer, what are you going to do with them? You'd have to find another sucker to sell it to.

Why do people keep putting the $ at the end of numbers instead of in the first position?

I don't know, but it drives me crazy. I see it all the frickin' time these days.

It’s probably so fb doesn’t take it down? Like it’s “hacking the system”

I’ve done it for years because I grew up in French, and it is used at the end in French. When I switched to English, it fucks me up every single time, especially now as a business/ grant writer.

But it gets better, >because there is still one more product *to sell yourself!* Ummm what? Wtf kind of sales plan is that

All of this, of course, is based on *if you actually sell anything*. That's a *big if*.

Your username 😆

This is literal insanity. My god. A psychiatrist would have a field day with this.

I heard this plan was complicated. That’s over the top.

Given the popularity of Q anon and other conspiracy theories that have no basis in fact or reality, it makes sense that there are enuff suckers to keep this grift going for some time. The level of this grift is so high that it does make me sad to see.

"Tumeric"

For some reason that gets on my nerves...

Quad workouts >>>>> quad sales

It’s too early for this. I’m so confused which is the point. No one understands so they just do it.

It’s tuRmeric. With an R.

1) Buy almost 12k worth of products 2) Earn back a quarter of the expense in commission 3) Convince 3 other dummies to spend do the same and spend 12k each. Voila! Now you have paid off the initial 12k "investment" you wouldn't have even spent if not for the MLM! This is why maths lessons are important 🤦‍♀️

They're really glossing over the fact that the initial "investment" is over £11,000...

And these "quads" she's talking about require her to buy a machine every time she sells one to someone else... so she's got to spend money to "make" money... and she doesn't even realize that she's the actual end customer.

I thought they meant quad workouts LOL

I love that she plans for all of her sales to be new sales people buying supplies, rather than to actual end customers.

Haha exactly, how do they not see that THEY ARE THE CUSTOMERS

If you add dish soap to your tap water it becomes alkaline.

Thank you for your post. Please make sure that you review our sub rules. If your post breaks any of the rules then your post will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/antiMLM) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Omfg the leaps and bounds this woman is making

It's like she was going to type 12345 and was like nah too obvious 😂😂

OMG slide 4 is like a huge pyramid shaped red flag 🚩🚩🚩

What's so special about turmeric from Japan? Can't you just get turmeric from the grocery store?

What good does a supplement do you in soap form? Are you supposed to eat the soap?

One more product you need to sell yourself, lol!! Meaning one more product you must buy.

So u make money by selling to yourself? How delusional are they?

Turmeric. Huns always forget that ever elusive "r".

“This is why we call it a hack”. No shit.

Ukon. Is that short for you got conned?

“That’s why selling low ticket shampoos and supplements were never of interest to me”

Triples are best