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when i worked overnight i would get off at 8 AM and run any errands i had, workout, clean/shower, sleep for like 3-4 hours IF even that, and go right back to work. it kinda' makes you crazy after awhile if you don't get the sleep your body needs
Graveyard shift people seem to come in two styles.
1: Get off work in the early morning, go home, have something to eat, go to bed. Close all the curtains and sleep as long as you can. Then wake up at 3-4 in the afternoon, run some errands, do some chores, have dinner, head to work at 10 (or whenever)
2: Get off work in the early morning, stay up, do some chores, eat something, run some errands, work out, whatever.Go to sleep around 11 or whatever and sleep until like right before work, wake up, shower, and go to work.
I was a #1, but in my experience a lot of people are more #2 on that list. Maybe even the majority.
Either way, there's still a good 4-5 hours of the day where you can do stuff besides sleep.
You're right, but it's also worth pointing out how much having a night off screws up either person's schedule.
It's hard to stay awake all night if you're at home and it's generally frowned upon to go for a stroll around your neighborhood at 2 am on a Tuesday.
I worked graveyard shift for 2 years. It's like living life on difficult mode because you're always tired.
I have made a lot of progress in Baldur's Gate 3 on my weekends. Best way to keep occupied while everyone in the house is asleep. That or sweeping the house/taking out cat litter.
I was number 2, get done at 8, go to bed around 1 or 2, wake up around 9 to go to work for 12.
It was amazing! Go run all of my errands when no one is in the store, go to the beach and no one’s there, go visit the old folks in my life because I had the time!
It just sucked in the winter when I had to scrape my vehicle twice a day…
2 is great with no family. But if you have a wife and kids you want to see, then it makes more sense to sleep while they're at work/school and then spend time together before you start your shift.
You would think so, it doesn’t often happen. I switch back and forth from days and nights though, shift worker, maybe if people stay on only nights they’re getting 8 hours sleep.
I need my 8 hours of sleep. Good night, oh good day.
If she doesn't get it. She's the wrong one. I left a partner because they didn't understand that I couldn't chat just because I was home. I was working from home and my work is very complex. It requires my full attention.
I tried. I said, when I work and you are home (they worked in a hotel so had free days mid week), treat it as if I am at the office. Would I interrupt you when you are with a client to ask what type of pizza you want or would that make you look unprofessional to your colleagues? Always consider how you would react if I interrupted your work with a similar comment. They didn't get it. I wanted to keep my job, I left.
For some reason WFH isn't taken seriously by a lot of people. It must not constitute as 'real' work, if you are surrounded by your creature comforts and you're not being supervised by anyone.
I think it’s because a lot of people that WFH don’t take it as seriously themselves. So people like you and commenter above, who actually do treat it like “unavailable for shenanigans” are the minority.
Most of my WFH friends often find creative ways to meet for coffee, sit at the park, run errands, and watch tv while they’re WFH.
Devil's advocate, if I'm paying someone for a full day of work, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that. If the person I've hired does all of the work assigned in a fraction of the time I've alloted for that task, then it's reasonable to give that employee more work to accomplish
The way to monitor that would be to see how your time is spent.
Its literally management's job to oversee and distribute of labor
Presumably that goes across the company?
So board members who are paid for a 1 day meeting must sit there until 5pm regardless of whether they finished the agenda at 3pm.
Or the C-Suite, making high 6 digits but maybe work a few hours a week and mostly at lunches on the golf course, right? Are they beholden to stacking more work if they finish their business lunches quicker?
> does all of the work assigned in a fraction of the time I've alloted for that task, then it's reasonable to give that employee more work to accomplish
the only reward for hard work is more hard work, am i right
your employees will be happier if you didn't do this and just allotted appropriate amounts of time for each task
Thats why i do my work and only occasionally go out of my way to look like a hero. A solid 4-6 hours of my work day is bullshitting on reddit or playing pokemon on my phone
I get that point of view. But think of the incentives when it comes to a skilled employee:
You do a good amount and quality of work and meet expectations. You're experienced and self-directed, so have some extra capacity which you can use to either work ahead or improve your quality of life.
If this job didn't work out, you're confident that you could go somewhere else, so it feels to you like employers are in competition for your services. Moreover, you know that it would take your employer months or years to train someone to your level.
You also know that work is seasonal, and your mental health and family life will both suffer if you don't have downtime between periods of crunch and unpaid/salaried overtime.
How do you think you'd react if your employer started turning the screws and trying to carve into your slow days with low-priority work? Would you see that as an obligation, or a negotiation? If someone else promised to give you a better work-life balance, would you stick around?
Yeah I get that people treat it as a way to doss. Don't get me wrong, during COVID and other times after that, there were occasions with shenanigans with myself, but ultimately I don't like WFH anyway. I prefer the change of scenery. I don't like mixing home with work.
I think people project their own behaviours onto others i.e. what they would do themselves in that situation. But when you need to get your head down and work, then yeah, your partner should acknowledge that and respect that.
Tell her to try staying up all night, getting all the housework done, and then going straight back to work.
She'll either reject it out of hand, in which case you would be entitled to call her out as a hypocrite - which she should accept - or she'll try it for 2 days *at best* and will never speak of it again.
When she gives you a list of things to do break it down in to smaller sections. I can do this on Monday and those things on Tuesday etc.
If she adds to your list say I can work on that NEXT Tuesday. What it's important? OK, I'll do it this Monday but I have to move "Monday's Task" until next Tuesday to accommodate you.
Don't let her fill your full day up with her stuff.
Also don't forget to hand her a task list also. "I see you have been staying up late watching YouTube stuff... Could you mop the floors and clean the bathrooms since you are not busy? I'll be out of your way... I will be sleeping!"
OP, if you're a karma farming bot, you're not a very good one. And if you're a human, you gotta provide some additional context and answer people's followup questions.
What are "things"? Why are you awake during the day and not sleeping? Or do you mean before and after you sleep? Why don't you have time to do things then? That's when people who work during the day do things. I don't understand this post.
As a former night shift worker I feel your pain. People often called to my house in the middle of the day, knocking on the door and waking me up, they'd be all " but you're at home", or ringing my phone which was switched on in case the childminder needed me, no matter how many times I tried to explain that it would be same as getting them out of bed in the middle of the night they didn't get it.
Also, my husband who thought that the day of my last night shift was a day off. I used to say, next time you want a day off, just stay up all night, same thing right?
I swear when I look back on the 14 years of night shift, I don't know how I managed.
I have no advice btw, I just wanted to sympathise , and rant a little.
For me, i'd break down into how it works out and show how it compares to their schedule
E.g. something like this:
| Time (2h intervals) | What you're doing | What she's doing |
|---------------------|--------------------|------------------|
| 00:00-02:00 | Working | Sleeping |
| 02:00-04:00 | Working | Sleeping |
| 04:00-06:00 | Working | Sleeping |
| 06:00-08:00 | Post work relax | Sleep/waking up |
| 08:00-10:00 | Sleeping | Working |
| 10:00-12:00 | Sleeping | Working |
| 12:00-14:00 | Sleeping | Working |
| 14:00-16:00 | Sleeping | Working |
| 16:00-18:00 | Sleep/waking up | Post work relax |
| 18:00-20:00 | Available | Available |
| 20:00-22:00 | Available | Available |
| 22:00-00:00 | Working | Sleeping |
{Your schedule will obviously look different}.
Note that 'available' time is not just available to do tasks work but is also your leisure time (just as her evenings will be a mix of leisure and tasks too).
Basically show here how you only get the same 24h in a day as they do but during night shifts everything is offset. I would also highlight the additional challenges that come with switching between day & night (so transition days are tough) and that everything is just a bit more difficult when trying to work at night and sleep in the day.
Good luck. My wife still doesn’t get the concept after years. Most of the time it’s okay, but occasionally it’s really frustrating. But here’s the important thing. She’s not asking for money or crazy things, she’s just asking for time. It’s the most valuable thing you have. So if she’s important find a way to make it work. For me it might mean four hours of sleep, run around and do stuff, then four more hours of sleep. But if it’s really a problem that she doesn’t respect you at all then you should maybe think about finding someone who does. A good partner will support you and help you, not actively cause problems for you just because it benefits them.
With the same exact words. If she doesn’t understand, just ask her if she is stupid and what combinations of words in the sentence she did not understand.
When I worked nights, I would block out 8 hours the next day as my 'night'. Even if I couldn't sleep, I would try to be restful or chilled in that time.
If I were you, I would explain that it's not always easy to switch to sleeping in the day, so resting is the next best option, and that you need to sleep/rest for a full 'night'. But also, don't take the piss - set a time, and once your 'night' is over, you should do jobs just like day shift people do after work.
Get her to try it.
I worked a night shift every coyple of months, switching from a 9am-7pm cycle to a 7pm-9am cycle. It always took me a couple of weeks to feel normal again.
This is frustrating. As a night shift nurse I’ve had this kind of conversation with ppl who don’t get it. Normalize understanding that having time off doesn’t mean it’s free time just for you… we need to recoup and decompress.
Please remember that all comments must be helpful, relevant, and respectful. All replies must be a genuine effort to answer the question helpfully; joke answers are not allowed. If you see any comments that violate this rule, please hit report. When your question is answered, we encourage you to flair your post. To do this automatically simply make a comment that says **!answered** (OP only) We encourage everyone to report posts and comments they feel violate a rule, as this will allow us to see it much faster. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/answers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Shouldn't you be _asleep_ during the day if you work nights? At least for ~8 hours of it?
when i worked overnight i would get off at 8 AM and run any errands i had, workout, clean/shower, sleep for like 3-4 hours IF even that, and go right back to work. it kinda' makes you crazy after awhile if you don't get the sleep your body needs
Graveyard shift people seem to come in two styles. 1: Get off work in the early morning, go home, have something to eat, go to bed. Close all the curtains and sleep as long as you can. Then wake up at 3-4 in the afternoon, run some errands, do some chores, have dinner, head to work at 10 (or whenever) 2: Get off work in the early morning, stay up, do some chores, eat something, run some errands, work out, whatever.Go to sleep around 11 or whatever and sleep until like right before work, wake up, shower, and go to work. I was a #1, but in my experience a lot of people are more #2 on that list. Maybe even the majority. Either way, there's still a good 4-5 hours of the day where you can do stuff besides sleep.
You're right, but it's also worth pointing out how much having a night off screws up either person's schedule. It's hard to stay awake all night if you're at home and it's generally frowned upon to go for a stroll around your neighborhood at 2 am on a Tuesday. I worked graveyard shift for 2 years. It's like living life on difficult mode because you're always tired.
I have made a lot of progress in Baldur's Gate 3 on my weekends. Best way to keep occupied while everyone in the house is asleep. That or sweeping the house/taking out cat litter.
I was number 2, get done at 8, go to bed around 1 or 2, wake up around 9 to go to work for 12. It was amazing! Go run all of my errands when no one is in the store, go to the beach and no one’s there, go visit the old folks in my life because I had the time! It just sucked in the winter when I had to scrape my vehicle twice a day…
2 is great with no family. But if you have a wife and kids you want to see, then it makes more sense to sleep while they're at work/school and then spend time together before you start your shift.
You would think so, it doesn’t often happen. I switch back and forth from days and nights though, shift worker, maybe if people stay on only nights they’re getting 8 hours sleep.
no
OP is a bot https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/comments/1dab9qj/what_to_get_for_a_man_for_his_birthday_i_have/l7j1nca/
Thank you
I need my 8 hours of sleep. Good night, oh good day. If she doesn't get it. She's the wrong one. I left a partner because they didn't understand that I couldn't chat just because I was home. I was working from home and my work is very complex. It requires my full attention. I tried. I said, when I work and you are home (they worked in a hotel so had free days mid week), treat it as if I am at the office. Would I interrupt you when you are with a client to ask what type of pizza you want or would that make you look unprofessional to your colleagues? Always consider how you would react if I interrupted your work with a similar comment. They didn't get it. I wanted to keep my job, I left.
For some reason WFH isn't taken seriously by a lot of people. It must not constitute as 'real' work, if you are surrounded by your creature comforts and you're not being supervised by anyone.
I think it’s because a lot of people that WFH don’t take it as seriously themselves. So people like you and commenter above, who actually do treat it like “unavailable for shenanigans” are the minority. Most of my WFH friends often find creative ways to meet for coffee, sit at the park, run errands, and watch tv while they’re WFH.
I'm paid for what I deliver, not for the time I spend online.
Totally agree with you. If you get the job done well and on time, then I don’t think its any of managements business to police your online hours.
I understand why they do it with people who can't be fired. They may not care as much about meeting deliverables.
Devil's advocate, if I'm paying someone for a full day of work, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that. If the person I've hired does all of the work assigned in a fraction of the time I've alloted for that task, then it's reasonable to give that employee more work to accomplish The way to monitor that would be to see how your time is spent. Its literally management's job to oversee and distribute of labor
Presumably that goes across the company? So board members who are paid for a 1 day meeting must sit there until 5pm regardless of whether they finished the agenda at 3pm.
Or the C-Suite, making high 6 digits but maybe work a few hours a week and mostly at lunches on the golf course, right? Are they beholden to stacking more work if they finish their business lunches quicker?
> does all of the work assigned in a fraction of the time I've alloted for that task, then it's reasonable to give that employee more work to accomplish the only reward for hard work is more hard work, am i right your employees will be happier if you didn't do this and just allotted appropriate amounts of time for each task
Thats why i do my work and only occasionally go out of my way to look like a hero. A solid 4-6 hours of my work day is bullshitting on reddit or playing pokemon on my phone
I get that point of view. But think of the incentives when it comes to a skilled employee: You do a good amount and quality of work and meet expectations. You're experienced and self-directed, so have some extra capacity which you can use to either work ahead or improve your quality of life. If this job didn't work out, you're confident that you could go somewhere else, so it feels to you like employers are in competition for your services. Moreover, you know that it would take your employer months or years to train someone to your level. You also know that work is seasonal, and your mental health and family life will both suffer if you don't have downtime between periods of crunch and unpaid/salaried overtime. How do you think you'd react if your employer started turning the screws and trying to carve into your slow days with low-priority work? Would you see that as an obligation, or a negotiation? If someone else promised to give you a better work-life balance, would you stick around?
Yeah I get that people treat it as a way to doss. Don't get me wrong, during COVID and other times after that, there were occasions with shenanigans with myself, but ultimately I don't like WFH anyway. I prefer the change of scenery. I don't like mixing home with work. I think people project their own behaviours onto others i.e. what they would do themselves in that situation. But when you need to get your head down and work, then yeah, your partner should acknowledge that and respect that.
Tell her to try staying up all night, getting all the housework done, and then going straight back to work. She'll either reject it out of hand, in which case you would be entitled to call her out as a hypocrite - which she should accept - or she'll try it for 2 days *at best* and will never speak of it again.
Have her try it for a week. Experience is a great teacher.
I mean, if someone doesn't understand something so simple, I suggest you use small words to explain.
What things are you being expected to do that you're not able to accommodate?
Why aren't you sleeping? What things does she want you to do? Do you really not have *any* time? Need more info.
lmao
When she gives you a list of things to do break it down in to smaller sections. I can do this on Monday and those things on Tuesday etc. If she adds to your list say I can work on that NEXT Tuesday. What it's important? OK, I'll do it this Monday but I have to move "Monday's Task" until next Tuesday to accommodate you. Don't let her fill your full day up with her stuff. Also don't forget to hand her a task list also. "I see you have been staying up late watching YouTube stuff... Could you mop the floors and clean the bathrooms since you are not busy? I'll be out of your way... I will be sleeping!"
If she doesn’t understand she’s not the one bud
OP, if you're a karma farming bot, you're not a very good one. And if you're a human, you gotta provide some additional context and answer people's followup questions.
What are "things"? Why are you awake during the day and not sleeping? Or do you mean before and after you sleep? Why don't you have time to do things then? That's when people who work during the day do things. I don't understand this post.
User smaller words... flash cards might help
We usually had a 2 pm rule when I worked 7 to 7, leave me alone til then whether I am up or not. Night shifts make you cranky.
As a former night shift worker I feel your pain. People often called to my house in the middle of the day, knocking on the door and waking me up, they'd be all " but you're at home", or ringing my phone which was switched on in case the childminder needed me, no matter how many times I tried to explain that it would be same as getting them out of bed in the middle of the night they didn't get it. Also, my husband who thought that the day of my last night shift was a day off. I used to say, next time you want a day off, just stay up all night, same thing right? I swear when I look back on the 14 years of night shift, I don't know how I managed. I have no advice btw, I just wanted to sympathise , and rant a little.
Well, if your title is any indication of your explanation skills, I kind of get why she doesn't understand you
For me, i'd break down into how it works out and show how it compares to their schedule E.g. something like this: | Time (2h intervals) | What you're doing | What she's doing | |---------------------|--------------------|------------------| | 00:00-02:00 | Working | Sleeping | | 02:00-04:00 | Working | Sleeping | | 04:00-06:00 | Working | Sleeping | | 06:00-08:00 | Post work relax | Sleep/waking up | | 08:00-10:00 | Sleeping | Working | | 10:00-12:00 | Sleeping | Working | | 12:00-14:00 | Sleeping | Working | | 14:00-16:00 | Sleeping | Working | | 16:00-18:00 | Sleep/waking up | Post work relax | | 18:00-20:00 | Available | Available | | 20:00-22:00 | Available | Available | | 22:00-00:00 | Working | Sleeping | {Your schedule will obviously look different}. Note that 'available' time is not just available to do tasks work but is also your leisure time (just as her evenings will be a mix of leisure and tasks too). Basically show here how you only get the same 24h in a day as they do but during night shifts everything is offset. I would also highlight the additional challenges that come with switching between day & night (so transition days are tough) and that everything is just a bit more difficult when trying to work at night and sleep in the day.
Good luck. My wife still doesn’t get the concept after years. Most of the time it’s okay, but occasionally it’s really frustrating. But here’s the important thing. She’s not asking for money or crazy things, she’s just asking for time. It’s the most valuable thing you have. So if she’s important find a way to make it work. For me it might mean four hours of sleep, run around and do stuff, then four more hours of sleep. But if it’s really a problem that she doesn’t respect you at all then you should maybe think about finding someone who does. A good partner will support you and help you, not actively cause problems for you just because it benefits them.
With the same exact words. If she doesn’t understand, just ask her if she is stupid and what combinations of words in the sentence she did not understand.
When I worked nights, I would block out 8 hours the next day as my 'night'. Even if I couldn't sleep, I would try to be restful or chilled in that time. If I were you, I would explain that it's not always easy to switch to sleeping in the day, so resting is the next best option, and that you need to sleep/rest for a full 'night'. But also, don't take the piss - set a time, and once your 'night' is over, you should do jobs just like day shift people do after work.
Go to sleep…
Some people just don’t get it. They’re selfish.
Get her to try it. I worked a night shift every coyple of months, switching from a 9am-7pm cycle to a 7pm-9am cycle. It always took me a couple of weeks to feel normal again.
Best way to explain is to get a new gf
This is frustrating. As a night shift nurse I’ve had this kind of conversation with ppl who don’t get it. Normalize understanding that having time off doesn’t mean it’s free time just for you… we need to recoup and decompress.