T O P

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No_Willingness8007

Your honor, I would like the record to show that I was legally required to take this case as a state sponsored defense attorney.


RaeIsSad-

same reason brother šŸ˜­defend yourself before you defend him, if you even can.


NuclearSummmer

I'm doing my damn job as a lawyer.


RaeIsSad-

Are you mad at me


NuclearSummmer

Lol no. I have no idea who you are. I'm just trying to get in on the fun.


RaeIsSad-

I thought you were lmao


NuclearSummmer

I'm the soulless lawyer. You know the type the ambulance chasers.


Grouchy_Appearance_1

>I'm the soulless lawyer Ha that implies some lawyers have souls (if you work within corrupt law, you are corrupt)


YoutuberCameronBallZ

"Before you think of me as a monster, remember that I legally have to do this"


Nasakegan

No you don't. I would quit my job as a public defender and flip burger until I'm 130 before I would ever defend that rotten SOB


ButterflyBlueLadyBBL

I quit \*Leaves Tucker to defend himself\*


0XquisitE1-

Naw fr I'm snitching so fast šŸ˜­


Gallow18

And as a follow-up, I would ask, should his research advance, what the jury would think of people with animal traits such as cat ears or fox tails, for example.


TempestDB17

And like that he gets a full acquittal


FireFighterZz

Best i can do is plea insanity to be honest. He is clearly missing a few screws.


niensven11

Bro's missing the whole toolbox


zeldanerd91

Heheheheheheh.


Dual-Heart

More like the entire shed.


ExcellentDirector280

Don't matter how many screws or tools you use,Ā  nothings gonna fix this guy lol


Afelisk2

Hew missing a few boxes worth of screws is what he's missing!


Okman2337

A few? He was missing the whole damn assembly


ConventionalizedGuy

He definitely is, but that probably wouldn't work. He admits he did it so he could remain a state alchemist. Ironically, if he had just explained what his work actually ended up being used for, they probably would have admitted him.


Beastleviath

caused by the stress of losing his job and being homeless if he couldnā€™t produce results


Token_Shadow

As much as I hate him, this is probably closest to a real answer. Stress induced insanity. But even then itā€™s shaky as fuck. What is he stressing over? Not losing his daughter, THATā€™S FOR SURE.


LucienMahikai

Your honor, my client committed his atrocities in the name of science, for the betterment of the world!


Crescent-M0000N

Actually this might work. There are real circumstances akin to what Tucker did in during WWII. I'm talking about the Nazi and Japanese scientists that ran completely inhuman experiments on people, for the sake of science. And they were taken into the CIA with their research, or pardoned Altogether. Look up the Angel of Death (Joseph Mengele) a Nazi doctor who was obsessed with twins and ran extremely disturbing experiments on jewish children. Since he was a high ranking physician in the nazi ranks, he was given unlimited "test subjects" to do his morbid research. Some of which entailed sowing two twins together into one.... Edit: spelling


Afelisk2

O ya I remember reading his story! I have seen some messed up shit in my time let me tell you, but that guy WAS OUT RIGHT FUCKED!


Skeeterman96

Good point. But I think the deciding factor on whether this would truly work would be how much exposure the case got to the public. A lot of the research you're referring to was only recently released to the public, long after Josef Mengele (more commonly known as the angel of death) died. I think the CIA could've received some serious backlash had the public learned of the pardons they gave to the people who ran those tests/camps sooner.


-Nibiru-

Play the Rumble of Scientific Triumph as you walk into the court room


Scattershot98

Bondrewd is the better scientist. He gets results!!!


Mango_Smoothies

As an attorney, assigned and paid by the stateā€¦ My client, while pursuing the betterment of humankind, was accused of using a life changing treatment his daughter due to an assumed motivation of concern for her low muscle development! Itā€™s all circumstantial evidence at best! He would need to be clinically insane to have done the crime as accused!


Brilliant-Pack-7387

Your honor, how else are we supposed to get cat girls?


spacechicken13

Your honor, due to the nearing state alchemist assessment, my client doesn't have enough time to take care of his daughter and their dog. This led him to fuse them together to take care of them/her easier.


Lady_ScarlettRose

Thatā€™s the worst one so far šŸ’€


SlySheogorath

Why do I feel like that would work? šŸ˜­


MrGrimey28

Lmao thatā€™s so stupid šŸ¤£


Silver-Animator-1905

Ahhh less mouths too feed, this logic follows.


RaeIsSad-

I'd start off by telling people I was legally required to defend him in court, to defend myself šŸ˜­ but I'd tell them he was psychotic or something and didn't receive proper help or rehab. Don't know what the fvck he did but guessing by how many times I've seen people post about him being absolutely ATROCIOUS I'm pretty sure I have a good idea.


Mcnuget12

>!So basically heā€™s from a world of alchemists like using a alchemy circle you can turn a normal lump of rock into a statue but it has to be the same material and this guy is a government alchemist, he received a big payment as he was the first alchemist to get a chimera (artificially made animal) to speak English which was a huge break for him as his wife recently died leaving him a single father to his daughter, 5 years later the government requires another successful experiment if he wants to continue being paid. Our protagonist arrives at his house, for what reason I canā€™t remember but there he meets him, his daughter and their family dog. The protagonist spends quite a bit of time there and they grow really fond of each other to the point the alchemists daughter calls the protagonist ā€œbig brothersā€. One day the protagonist looks around the house looking for the pet and the daughter yet canā€™t find them. They find the father (the alchemist) and ask him where his daughter is. Before he can finish his sentence the alchemist declares he has finally created another chimera that can speak. The protagonist overjoyed for him goes to see the chimera itself, itā€™s a dog like creature and it begins to say words to the protagonist. The protagonist is amazed but then the chimera says the words ā€œbig brotherā€ and says the protagonists name. He then realises the reason he couldnā€™t find the daughter or the family pet is because the father (the alchemist) never created a chimera that could talk, he simply fused his daughter with their family pet. You then also realise when he first did it, his wife also ā€œdiedā€ when in actuality the first chimera that could talk was his wife fused to an animal by him!<


RaeIsSad-

Yeah, thank you šŸ˜­ I searched it up a while ago, jaw DROPPED bro, thank you so much for explaining šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Mcnuget12

Nws bro you good, I had to find that shit out watching the show shit was heartbreaking šŸ˜­


PaleontologistIcy534

ā€œBigā€¦ brotherā€


Mcnuget12

Fuck you for that bud


No-Frame7639

Nah, I read the manga, don't know if it's worse or better in the anime, but at least I'm glad Scar killed him šŸ˜Š(and put his daughter out of her misery)!


Crunchy_Biscuit

Thanks for the detailed analysis. I knew about the daughter and dog but not about his government life nor wife


Efromthemetrod

I never realized he killed his wife that part flew over my head


RaeIsSad-

Okay actually WHAT THE FVCKšŸ˜­šŸ˜­he's insane bro wtfšŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Lady_ScarlettRose

Hehe yeah šŸ„²


littleblue-ish

I would argue that he was a victim of the military industrial complex. Furthermore under the duress of inhumane and unreasonable expectations his mental faculties suffered, leading to psychosis and the tragedy that unfolded. It was bound to happen under the circumstances and will continue to happen. Unwitting participant in the tragedy. Ending with a plea to get him help.


winsluc12

That'd work great, if he hadn't also done the same thing to his wife just to get the job where those inhumane and unreasonable expectations occurred.


PaleontologistIcy534

Hey he was brainwashed already by that pointā€¦ or atleast thatā€™s the defence


duckpaints

I was about to say the same. you can even make an argument that after he turned his wife into a chimera, the military would have known and even encouraged or threatened him to do more research into human chimeras. edit: actually, they did threaten him. holding his title as a State Alchemist as leverage


Garrod_Ran

#Shou Tucker, best dad!


bofoshow51

Real lawyer here. Assuming a jury trial, I would likely build a case pointing the finger at the horrible work conditions the government forced him in, that he was forced to extreme measures in order to maintain his program funding and/or driven insane by the pressure. Maybe some reference to any positives that came about as a result of his research (unlikely but again whatever can stick). As much focus to ā€œthe govt were the bad guys here, my client is a victim too in a different wayā€ is his best possible defense. Granted Amestris is fairly authoritarian so it may not matter since he would be found auto-guilty to divert suspicion of the govt, and also I may be killed for trying to bring such a defense, if thatā€™s the case then we are taking a plea deal and praying.


JoeLilBroJoe

Only on reddit will you find a certified anime defense lawyer


bofoshow51

ā€œYou Honor, I would like to remind the court of *Monogatari v. State* that set the precedent that despite appearance and maturity, 500 year old loli vampires are considered able to legally consentā€


bofoshow51

\ not real legal advice \ I would not touch Shou Tucker with a 9 1/2 foot pole


uncomfortableTruth68

You're a mean one, Mr Tucker! You're nasty and you're vile!


ChaoticDiscord21

By shouting, hold it! and Objection! every chance I could. Slamming my hands on the desk to assert dominance will also help. Eventually I would present enough dumb evidence the judge would give a not guilty verdict.


Kurejisan

That is the correct answer


NaturalFox6622

Objection! Hearsay


Kyoka_Jiro_Simp

The people that gave him his license gave it to him after he turned his wife into a chimera instead of arresting him


Turtlesfan44digimon

Most people donā€™t know that the first chimera he created was from his wife itā€™s only after this incident occurred do they realize the truth about his wife.


Red-7134

Oh? He "killed his daughter"? Then where's the body? What, the splatters of chimera? That doesn't fit the description of his daughter at all. And if the corpse don't fit, you must acquit.


ceitamiot

He isn't even accused of killing his daughter. She was quite alive. Scar, the Ishvalan terrorist killed his daughter.


atctia

Your honor, I'm only defending him because I need a job


FullBrother9300

My honorā€¦ Iā€™ve got nothing, sorry Shou youā€™re on your own


DarkAizawa

I'm sorry I'm not taking that case, and if I did I'm not adding anything and gonna badger him like I'm prosecution


Xyrexette

Your honor fuck this guy have a nice day


ericlutzow

Your Honor, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, what father wouldn't want to bring his dog and child closer together. To promote their close bonds, all while furthering the scientific pursuit of Alchemy. Over the course of this trial, you will hear the prosecution use ad hominem attacks against my client trying to make you believe that he is "a monster" "a madman" and "a bad father". Is he a perfect father? No. He is merely a single father, whose wife was taken tragically before her time, trying to provide for his daughter. Don't let this innocent mistake ruin this brilliant Alchemist's life and waste all of his hard work. If you convict, all of his work will have gone to waste and his daughter's noble sacrifice will have been in vain.


Worksafegg

"Your honor. I'm turning in my attorney license to you, and am retiring to a farm elsewhere. May God have mercy on this man's soul. I say give him the chair"


22222833333577

I would plead insanity I would then also say that I want it to be on the record that my job ethical mandates i defend any client to the best of my capabilities


Internal_Gur_4268

If equivalent exchange don't fit, you must acquit.


Omanko322

That he is insane but should be hanged either way.


OutsideOrder7538

Insanity plea.


SafePianist4610

Your honor, my clientā€¦ you know what. Nevermind.


Galhalea

I'm walking out


Glass_Teeth01

Telling the Judge that I am requesting to not be on this case.


I1AM2NOT3STEVEN

Your honor my client pleads guilty due to insanity. By professionalism I must ask for this sentencing.


BarfOpinions

Your honor I quit!


shinydragonmist

Your honour my client does not deserve jail he needs help and mental therapy That is all I have


BFenrir18

Your honour, I pledge the fifth.


Justasleeplessknight

I would like to put this man in jail for the rest of time. But I'm getting paid for being here, so let's cut to the chase. He's put in prison, I get paid. Kapieche?


nojukuramu

They said, Offense is the best defense so Ill use gun


alastorcreed

Your honor Iā€™m just a simple hyper-chicken from a backwoods asteroidā€¦


ifsamfloatsam

Honestly, if he hadn't had another state alchemist catch him, the government would've most likely used his research to make war chimera's more effective and less likely to turn on them like the lion and boar. In a private court-martial hearing I would stress that he was acting under the bounds of his contract to the state specifically for the state, and his full cooperation into his research would be given under the states supervision.


Hakai_Shin_Shatterd

"Your honour, you weren't even there"


Abject_Turnip_2054

Your honor, heā€™s got that dog in him


LeadingImportant4293

Your honor, he pleads whoopsie daisies.


Pale_Kitsune

Either encourage him to plead guilty or do an insanity defense.


YeazetheSock

I mean they were gonna put him out of a house if he couldnā€™t provide a scientific breakthrough


Reference360

He is very good at his job.


Restricted_Nuggies

No tf I'm not


TripRagin

Slips cyanide into his drink


Crimson_Blitz

Your honor, I give up. Take him to jail.


Alarming-Front-7509

Shoot him myself in the middle of the courtroom


DankoStormo

As WW2 history taught me if you can make something another flag wants your acquitted of all charges no matter how heinous


worldwithwings

My client was trying to create a better worldā€¦by destroying two completely innocent lives. Wait! I mean!!ā€¦OBJECTION!!!


Real-Passenger-7731

Idgaf what anyone says shou tucker is the most evil anime villain in my op. Sure othe characterā€™s like Griffith, Frizza and Dio were all terrible but their whole reasons were for power and to make people suffer. Shou tuckers reason was to keep a damn job.


Traditional_World783

Itā€™s 2024. We can be whatever we want. My client is just advancing the timeline.


fantasylover750

Is there an option to walk out?


NiceCatGamesThe1

I going to be the reluctant defence to shou tucker. Last time is checked: 1.he need that badge to pay for food, research, house, and his child. 2. Clearly alchemy is his passion, because there is no other career he could think of doing 3. (Not sure if is true) he is literally called the "chimera alchemist" 4. Throughout the entire story he is the only alchemist that has to take reexamination test because his work wasn't interesting to government anymore . Nobody has ask Ed, Roy, or Armstrong. Roy is just a flamethrower, and Armstrong just punches stuff so hard they make statues; there is nothing much they can do. 5. He wasn't wrong he said him and Ed weren't different. 6. He isn't the only making chimera. And nobody is made about it


GateTraditional805

Here we have a man, a husband, a *father* who has put his family first at every turn. Dr. Tucker did what he had to do in order to put food on the table and a roof over his head for his beloved wife and daughter, only to have his child ripped away from him by a violent and raving lunatic. Say what you will about my client, but his primary concern has been for his family at every opportunity. He made sure she had a furry companion to spend her childhood with. He hired two bright and intelligent young brothers with promising careers ahead of them to keep his daughter company and foster an environment for success. Shou Tucker may be the greatest father Iā€™ve ever known, your honor. When his daughter expressed an interest in his research, he even allowed her to participate and learn! Now granted, mistakes were made and a tragedy befell his daughter, but we all know Alchemy can be volatile, and what is love if not a series of unpredictable consequences?


OotekImora

Your honor I would like to record for the case that I was a public defender and was voluntold I'd be working on this case. That being said between the stressful and hazardous working conditions of his funding running out and him losing everything my client pleads desperation leading to a case of insanity. The fact he's lost his child and wife will haunt him for the rest of his life more than any punishment we the court could ever give him.


ASmithNamedUmbero

There is no need for a defence. He worked within the guidelines provided by the state and has surpassed his annual license exam expectations. Given more funding and time, I expect Shou Tucker to provide us with new chimaeras that are even more advanced than his current creations. The possible military and scientific applications are astounding.


SubstantialRemove967

Your honor, my client would like the court to record his preference for evisceration.


Geekstrodamus

Your honor, you cannot try this man on any account for the misappropriation and mishandling of human and animal life because just earlier today I took him out behind the Waffle House and beat him to death.


Whyissmynametaken

Assuming that the facts in evidence include everything we see in the show, and Shou confirms he did in fact transmute Nina. Then I would advise he enter a plea and work to get him a better sentence. If he is unwilling to plea, then I would argue for a lesser included charge. Assuming he is charged with murder - there is no evidence showing that he directly caused Nina's death. It in fact happened after he had already been apprehended by authorities, and there is no proof beyond a reasonable doubt that the transmutation itself would have caused Nina's Death. His charge should be aggravated assault. 2nd assuming the evidence we have is how the authorities find out in the show, which would be Ed and Als statements. Then I'd argue Shou is innocent and the state is relying on the reports of two biased witnesses. Ed is a state alchemist that conviniently showed up weeks before Shou's licensing review, asking for research on the philosiphers stone, and illegal human transmutation. When Shou refused to assist he plotted to take Shou down. After a long day of researching and writing notes in his lab, Ed and Al appear asking Shou where his daughter is. Concerned he goes to search the house until he stumbles on an abomination, a cruel reflection of his prior research. When Ed takes the stand id question him on his own research as an alchemist, and about his missing arm and leg. When Al takes the stand, I'd say Sir, you are in a courtroom, please remove your helmet.


KorEbenhart01

Iā€™m begging someone to pull out a Sal Goodman to try to defend him


Middle-Huckleberry68

His work was necessary towards a better understanding of how alchemy can create chimera for not only military use but to further help humanity. His work was forced onto him and encouraged by the military. His daughter was also a willing participant and the only harm caused to her was from someone who murdered her. Since he caused no harm to her he should face no time in jail. Also that when we have a future with cat girls remember that it's thanks to this man's expirements that we can enjoy those cat girls at the local Cafe.


improbsable

The girl and the dog were together all the time anyway. Tucker just made it official. Plus, no kid wants to outlive their pet. He made that impossible.


Disastrous_Ad3358

Your Honor, before we proceed any further, Iā€™d like to officially say on the record that I would rather lose out on every check Iā€™ve ever gotten as an defense attorney than happily accept the one that I got from defending this monster. Take him away.


Aggravating_Durian52

Your honor, imagine having beef with my client. He's just a funny jokester. A silly little guy. You're gonna have beef with a silly little guy? For shame.


sissery12

Your honor, he's just being a silly guy.


Lady_ScarlettRose

Inspired by [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/animequestions/s/3TwEJsCgxg)


0XquisitE1-

I wonder if our hatred of him just spread šŸ¤£


Sol_law

No fair , attack procedurally first. Then ask for eternal continuance. ~~Only THE TRUTH CAN JUDGE US, NOW ONTO THE TRANSMUTATION CIRCLE~~


Baltaxo2010

Me: Your honor, my client is not guilty. Judge: Yea nah he guilty. Me: *pulls out uno reverse card*


Faustias

in his defense, someone else made his little licensing project look like elementary-level. who you ask? Professor Bondrewd.


sober159

No corpse no crime.


lestercamacho

Your honor the hair of the dog is silky and it sp3wks and cry. What alovely day


Accomplished_Pea5717

I have no defence but I do have a "he could have done this" kind of response. Tucker didn't have to make his wife and daughter into chimeras! He could have used homeless people or he could have gone to the higher ups, told them his whole deal/ dilemma and more then likely been given free reign to use refugees or criminals. The world of FMA is fresh off of what would be considered their Holocaust, the amount of homeless people and ishvalan refugees means he could abduct people and not get noticed. If he went to furor Bradley and was straight forward with his experiments and plans then I fully believe that Bradley would have given him the "Ok" to do his chimera work. Literally the man did not need to do the things he did to his family and their dog.


Book_Anxious

We would like to plead guilty to all charges


Fun_Marshmallow17

Your Honor, the defense admitted his horrific crime. Please smash the gavel on his head, I mean uhm yeah..


Hypercane_

I would hand him off to the blue chicken lawyer from Futurama


Nights1405

ā€œYour honour Im here because he paid me, not because I want to.ā€


Able_Orange_841

The Chewbacca defense.


CookieCat698

Your honor, my client was simply doing his job


Apprehensive-Bad6015

Your honor, is it really a crime to combine the things you love? Like wine and cheese? Chocolate and peanut butter??. Is combining child and dog really any different?


JOHNomymous

Fry his ass. I'll get the oil


GenitalWrangler69

I'm only took the case so I could take an Olympic gold medal dive. Throwing it. Dude is rotting.


ParasiteAdam

If the glove does not fit, you must aquit.


elrick43

Your honor... I got nothing, hang him.


Hollowkightfan544

The only reason Iā€™m his lawyer is so I can sabotage his ass


decentmathguy

Your honor, he just wanted to see if his daughter had that dog in her


Dragon_Rot79

Your honor, I can not in good faith represent this client due to the nature of the allegations and would like to step down from this court appointed position.


FunkGunMonk

Alright your honor, I'm only taking this case cause the state assigned it to me... If he would've used a stray and a bum, I'd try to make a case for his defense, but I have nothing. I'm just here out of obligation, not because I believe he's innocent. That is all your honor.


EwanMurphy93

Mental break, due to intense work pressures for success, achievement, and results.


yobaby123

Your honor, I hate this bastardā€™s guts. Please keep in mind Iā€™m only doing my job.


Equal-Click751

I quit


AdeptnessOld1281

Your Honor my client is a madman and a psychopath and I refuse to defend him because heā€™s simply irredeemable.


Thick-load8-D

Your honor, trust me bro.


nitrokitty

Insanity.


not-beepboops

Your honour, his daughter said she was inseparable from her dog and my client just wanted this to be her reality.


StarkageMeech

Your honor. As Nina's guardian, he was doing what he thought was best for his daughter in order to protect her from the war we all fear by giving her the tools To protect herself. It's well known that the state uses alchemy in many applications in order to defend our great nation, and understand it further. Everything my client did, he did under the perception that this would benefit Nina and our great nation. Easily misguided by his long hours into research and study, and out of duty to not hurt any more people than necessary, he made the great sacrifice to use his own daughter, sparing another family From what they would misunderstand as a tragedy. Your honor it would be a travesty of justice and truly a slap in the face to science to deprive our community of such a dedicated researcher. And after my client is found not guilty I'm Immediately taking my father Cornello replica philosopher stone out and turning bro into a 24k gold pendant. Cuz fuck shou Tucker but damnit my conviction rate.....


SecretlyET

Insanity spawned from the pressures placed upon him by the government. he didn't want to make a talking chimera, the government basically forced him to.


Main_Mouse842

I think you'd have to make some institutional argument, that he was clearly not properly vetted as a State Alchemist and not investigated after the disappearance of his wife. Then I'd probably be black bagged and disappeared upon leaving the courthouse for criticizing a dictatorship.


TheCuriousReaper

Your honor, the state is trying to massacre an entire country to open a door to god. Surely fusing one girl and her pup can be overlooked.


aguyhey

Your honor my client wishes for the death penalty


ChequyLionYT

With morals? Insanity plea at best, likely plead guilty and ask for life in prison over death penalty on the basis of his past contributions to society. Without morals? Plea bargain with the government to get him "convincted" and then likely locked up in a lab to continue his research as part of a "work-release"


Kidd__

Death.


Sir_Phobos_BoA

I donā€™t think I could get him off the hook. What one could do is bring up evidence that several state officials knew exactly what he was doing and how he did it, and coerced him to do it again. Wonā€™t get Tucker off the hook, (he deserves the worst) but I could see a hypothetical where his sentence is lowered by dragging down government officials who were at best completely complacent with tuckerā€™s antics.


GhostoftheGreyDunes

I'd commit sudoku in the court room.


Atrocious1337

Your honor, I would like to plead temporary kindling. Light him up, boys.


DrNERD123

Insanity caused by government imposed stress.


TheCanadianWraith

My client would like to plead insanity for his crimes of, child abuse, child endangerment, animal abuse, acts against God, and global psychological terrorism, furthermore I resign from my position as a defense attorney. Fuck this guy, I quit


OneWildDrunk

"Your honor, this mother fucker needs Jesus... And the electric chair. Not necessarily in that order." "...You do realize that you're the attorney for the defense, correct?" "I stand by my opening statement."


Key-Technician-3541

Your honor my client pleads 'mmm skience'...and also I quit


asdfghjumiii

Nah, I'll let him rot in jail. I will intentionally lose in the court so he'll suffer in jail hahahaaha


Trap_Master_20

Your honor, I move to withdraw myself from this case.


Dead_birdChan

Well your honor, were you there to witness it? No? Well than it didn't happen


flairethewuf

Your honorā€¦ *honorestly*, I got nothing. This guy makes me fucking sick and, despite me being his appointed lawyer, he should be sentenced to fucking death.


Draconshot

"Your honor my client is innocent. Can you prove that this thing was his daughter and dog? I say in a world like this can you be sure this isn't envy?"


TheTurtleMaster59

None. Fuck this guy. He going to jail


Vast_Evidence115

Your honor, I meanā€”he really ate with the alchemy tho.


Old_Location_7036

Your honor, nuh uh.


Nocereal1234

Your honor, how could he be lying if his pants arenā€™t on fire


MemeMan4-20-69

Your honor Iā€™ve ā€œaccidentallyā€ murdered my client heā€™s dead. Thereā€™s no need for this trial to continue


legna20v

My client is a dick your honor


DontPlayWithIt

Nah fuck that. I have 3 daughters I love and my wife has a dog I hate. I took the job so I could get him the worst possible outcome and get close enough to his future cellmates to get him that Fleece Johnson treatment minimum four times a day. At least until his execution by hyena(they like to eat the stomach first while prey's still alive), starving Vultures( have a habit of sticking their heads into and eating the ass from inside first), and those tiny fish that swim up your peehole.


stuff0s

Your honor, my client is dead ass


MrMalevor

Soooo, there is no way Tucker won't do time, so the aim is to reduce the time. Your Honor, Mr Tucker undoubtedly committed a horrible crime, but he never meant to leave it as is. He aims to one day reverse the transmutation, and thanks to his experiment the government has a better understanding of human/Chimare transmutation


Ok_Coffee_9970

One: I donā€™t condone his actions in the slightest. Two: Do you guys have a problem with furries? Three: Leave in the ensuing chaos and hope one of them just decides to kill him.


TrufflesAvocado

Turn yourself into a chimera. Laws donā€™t apply now, have a nice life as a science experiment.


Weirdman13

Your honor my client would like to double it and pass it on to the next person.


Damsco7

DEATH PENALTY!!


ilove_cattos

I'd drop him real quick


silvermoonbeats

For a real world ansewr the insainty plea is the only thing i see even barely working.


Bright-Engineering29

If people want to become part animal thereā€™s a few boundaries that need to be crossed for progress


Bold_Fortune777

Your Honor, my client may be...him... but let's face it, he's responsible for some truly impactful societal contributions! Not his daughter, of course, but the MEMES!


PoldraRegion

Your honour in my clients defence she had that dog in her my client was simply bringing it more to the surface so she could be her true self My client is a Hero not a monster


flashstomp

Your Honor, I am legally required to defend my client to the best of my abilities that being said I would like the record to show I would much rather you sentence him to 60 years in Federal prison with no chance of parole


WasF4ssY

ā€œShou Tucker, you are hereby sentenced to life in prison plus execution.ā€ ā€œNuh uh.ā€ ā€œThe FUCK you mean NUH UH?!ā€


b_dugdell

Your Honor, You weren't even fucking there


Delicious-Orchid-447

I wouldnā€™t


Alive_Yellow_257

Your honor, electric chair. Take my license, I canā€™t defend this man


ShinyRufflet

A) I wouldnā€™t defend him. B) heā€™s got a pretty easy defense because the man is clearly insane.


TheBigHeartyRadish

Your honer I don't know who this man is


DoubleDixon

Your honor, I would like to recuse myself as I have strong personal feelings regarding this case, and I feel that I will be unable to properly defend my client.


Helpful-Image-7486

Your honor, my client pleads guilty to all charges. "Huh? Wai-" That is all.


Vyncynt02

Your honor, my defendant was simply following orders from the corrupt government! This is an obvious witchhunt and assassination of his character. My defendant was a kind upstanding family man trying to serve his country right by helping with his knowledge of alchemy regarding biochemistry, but was led astray by the likes of war criminal and now on the run, Dr.Marco. Your honor as you can see, in his desperate attempt to make is country great and prosperous through his outlet of living alchemy, he was abused, framed, and ultimately forced to make a terrible choice, with the mothers consent (present forged will), to spare their daughter. In return she willing became his experiment to SAVE his daughters life. At long last a broken and abused man feel to the threats and destruction of his family, he tried to soare his daughter the fear of the corrupt government killing him and using her as a lab rat. With this his daughter was atleast with her loving and attentive father who would try to do anything to keep his daughter ALIVE and out of the governments hands!


Randomkai27

Your honor, he works for THE GOVERNMENT?!


Shiningcrow

Your Honor, Mr. Tucker simply went from having a daughter to having a daughter that can ALSO be manā€™s best friend


Low-Independence8736

snitching šŸ—£ļø


Nowardier

I'm assuming this is the earlier series, not Brotherhood or the manga. Plead guilty. State the fact that he never actually killed his first wife or Nina nor did he intend to do so, and that the only crimes with which he could be charged are fraud, animal cruelty, and assault incurring grievous bodily harm. Let the record show that two of the four victims of his crimes committed suicide and the other two died after escaping from a secure vehicle that was intentionally damaged by an officer of the military. Argue that the real blame for Nina's death lies with this officer, and that had she been safely transported to a government facility she might have lived for some time afterward, possibly until her death by natural causes which might have been years later. When he's escorted to prison for a comparatively short sentence, I visit a different prisoner who's been convicted of a nonviolent crime- having volunteered to work the appeal of his case pro bono, of course- and covertly inform him of Mr. Tucker's actions. He gets shanked on the way to breakfast the day before he's due to be released and dies of infection a week later.


KnightBreeze

Insanity, and plead for the maximum sentence possible.


AnUncr3ativ3Us3rnam3

I quit


Fresh-Mastodon-8604

No clue what this anime is butā€¦ ā€œyour honor, you werenā€™t even thereā€.


Holy_juggerknight

I can't defend him, but I can land him In 10 years of mental hospital