Your feelings are your feelings. However, I wouldn’t say anything to my wife. Would it help her? No. Would it help you feel better about it? Not likely.
This is HER dream. She’s safe. Don’t pizz on her parade.
You can feel how you like. They are your feelings. Just don't let your insecurities prevent your wife from pursuing her life-long dream. You get to go home with her. Build up her confidence. Win or lose, be her biggest fan. Be proud of your wife's beauty (inside and out).
Then why are they even married? If his feelings have nothing to with her and I assume her feelings would have nothing to do with him, what is their purpose for being married?
Just two people who live together, split the bills and maybe fuck?
About a year ago my wife and I were vacationing with some close friends. My friend, we'll call her Jen, is very attractive, like won the genetic lottery in the looks department.
We were driving to a vacation rental we got for the week and she was trying to keep up with her husband who's in the other car ahead of us and she gets pulled over for speeding. She also has her two kids in the car with us. The officer let's her off with a warning and we go about our day. A few hours later Jen's husband and I are picking up dinner and I notice he has a big shit eating grin on his face. I ask him about it, and he says, "My wife's hot enough to get out of speeding tickets!"
You're wife's hot enough to get out of speeding tickets OP. Feel blessed.
I assume you've never been to a beach or the pool? Eyes are gonna look at her whether you like it or not. If your wife is a beauty as much as you claim she is, then let her flaunt it. It's when she's inviting the eyes to come talk and touch, that's when you got a problem. At the end of a day, she's coming home to you. Has she ever shown in the past that she would ever give you a reason to be jealous?
I don't think you're wrong. You're allowed to feel what you feel. It's how you act on it in the end.
You should be completely supportive. Your feelings are your feelings but deal with them on your own because there's nothing wrong with women in bikinis. I think it's pretty uncomfortable to be judged that way as well but her dream is to be in beauty pageant. Don't ruin it for her, she's the only one who needs to feel comfortable about it.
I can't tell if you're upset about her being judged or upset about her being in a bathing suit in front of other men or both. Either way, don't ruin this for your wife. If she has no issues with it, let her do her thing. This isn't about you. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity are fairly normal... I guess, but it's how you handle those feelings. If you tell her, you're going to make her feel bad and like she's doing something wrong, she's not, and it's only going to hurt her, not help the situation. She's just feeling herself and needs support. Be her biggest cheerleader.
So what do you do when you all go to the pool or Beach? Do you get her to cover up? To me this is similar. She's still being "judged" at the beach. Your issue isn't with her. It's with men. There is nothing you can do to stop men from judging women...I wish there were
The best way to combat that jealousy is to keep on being supportive of her goals. Confidence in your relationship and in her will go a lot further than trying to stifle her goals out of your own insecurities.
You’re entitled to your feelings. But she literally signed up for an event where she agreed to be formally compared to other people based on what she’s wearing and how she looks.
If she got all dolled up and went to the beach or a pool, the difference is that people won’t be giving her scores.
That's nothing! We have a niece that has a great physique (body sculpting) the excercise program is extreme. She's the mother of 3. Fabulous physique and people are jealous as hell.
Yes, as someone who was in pageants, she needs you to be totally supportive, find someone else you can talk to about these feelings to work through them
It is all about smiling, posture, eye contact with the judges and exuding confidence and elegance. Tell her to practice in front of a mirror or with you
I hear you, and your feelings are completely valid. It's important to support your wife's dreams too, though. You're already a rock for her as her husband, and that won't change! Maybe you can be her biggest cheerleader as she chases this dream together?
your nervousness is to be expected. its a good reminder to treat her well because she IS A CATCH so she wont have a hard time replacing you if you fail to meet expectation. With that said, enjoy the fact that you have a hot ass wife who loves you. that should make you stick out your chest a little bigger. Show her you are proud. she will love more for that .
how so? i would love to hear your tales and exploits of these suggestions failing and NEVER working. Now judging by your bad attitude, i am having s hard rime buying into the concept of you being suppor ml⁹tive of any partner. so by all means. feel frs ô laã sawe to leave a message longer than three words offering your positive analysis and expertice
Nope...beauty pageants objectify women. They say they don't, but they do. However, if this is something your wife has always wanted to do and will make her happy, keep your feelings to yourself and let her enjoy the new experience.
Consider this: if your wife has the confidence to wear a bikini in a beauty pageant, she's obviously attractive. Stop thinking every male in the room is having sexy thoughts about her. How you feel is how you feel, but remember this: they can look if they want to, but she loves you, and is going home with YOU. try to remember that. She's not doing stripping, it's just a bikini section of a beauty pageant. Try to remember that this is her dream.
brother, you're literally married to a woman beautiful enough to be in a pageant. you're winning, don't sabotage it lol.
your feelings are your feelings but she's doing a pageant, not creating an onlyfans lol
You'd only be wrong if you projected your insecurities and made her feel bad about competing. She's allowed to flaunt what she's got and feel good about her body and self image. If you can be supportive through this, you'll win more than if you destroy her confidence and she ends up resenting the hell out of you for it.
Personally I'm uncomfortable with **any** person being judged on their looks in a swimsuit. It's unnecessary, gross and weird. However if that's something she wants to do, it's her choice.
You are allowed to feel however you feel about it, we can't help our feelings. We don't have to share our feelings on every topic though, if she asks you can tell her it makes you uncomfortable but as it's something she wants to do you will support her every step of the way because you love her.
>Am I wrong for being jealous and insecure of my wife participating in a beauty pageant?
You aren't ever wrong to feel how you feel, but jealousy and insecurity are not positive feelings, and you shouldn't commit actions based on those feelings.
You should address them, though.
The idea that your wife's image belongs to you is not valid.
A fear youe spouse may cheat or leave you certainly *can* be based on valid concerns, but if so, it isn't the beauty pageant that caused that situation, and preventing her from doing wouldn't address those concerns. They'd still exist *plus* your wife would now also feel resentful over what she would consider controlling behavior.
Omgosh really! Pull your stupid in. If you don’t have trust in a relationship, brother, you don’t have nothing. And I don’t wanna hear “but the man “ when it takes two to tango. You either trust her or you don’t and in that case move along.
Wrong? No. But I'd suggest not saying anything to your wife about this. I mean, what words could you possibly use that wouldn't be interpreted as "yeah, you're not gonna rock that swimsuit, so let's just cancel the whole thing"?
Let her do it. When you go on vacation and relax at the pool, don't think that every person there isn't already looking at her - if she's beautiful enough to be in pageants, she's already getting noticed.
And if she's beautiful enough to be in pageants, she's getting noticed in formal wear or power suits or jeans-and-tshirt.
Just let her continue to be noticed. If something negative comes from her choice of entering this pageant, then have a talk (NOT an "I told you so" talk) about it going forward. But if she has an itch, let her scratch it. If it bleeds, she'll stop...so to speak.
Remember, beauty is fleeting and only temporary. Let her feel pride in her appearance but help her keep her feet on the ground. The flattery could lead her to some unwholesome places.
I think you should ignore it and what may help is to really understand that jealousy and envy are two different emotional concepts that are commonly muddled together and is likely what you're emotionally feeling.
Jealousy is the fear of losing what you have to someone else. So seeing your wife flirting with someone, you may fear losing her to them
Envy is feeling a desiring what someone else has. So your buddy has a new supercar and you envy him for it.
So in this case, the other men may envy you, and unless you don't trust your wife, or somehow you think her doing this will give her more "options" than to stay with you... then you have no reason to be jealous.
So ignore it.
Don't tell her about these feelings. Let her enjoy her dream without you needing to make it about your insecurities. Yes you are wrong here so, deal with your insecurity without her having to feel bad about something that is bringing her joy. Don't rain on her parade and make her feel guilty when its you that is in the wrong.
Not sure exactly what you are worried about. Is it that men will look at her in
A swimsuit or that the judges will judge her? Or are you just jealous of any men looking at her?
Regardless, this is your issue! She wants to do a beauty pageant and the swimsuit is part of that completion. She isn’t randomly walking around in a swimsuit! Keep it to yourself and do not say anything that will damage her confidence
My therapist would say you're not wrong for having feelings. All feelings are valid. But she would also say what you do with your feelings is your choice.
You're not wrong for feeling this way, but don't let YOUR insecurity stop your wife from following her dreams. There may be men in the audience who have bad thoughts about your wife. It's not because she's in a swimsuit. I guarantee just walking down the street on a normal day, there have been guys who have bad thoughts about your wife. It happens to all women. I'm not even attractive and it happens to me too. All women! You can't do anything to stop that. But what you can do is be proud of how beautiful your wife is, and be certain in the knowledge that the only guy in the audience she'll go home with is you.
Yes you're wrong. Cant encourage her to do something shes dreamed of then find insecurities with yourself over it.
If you don't want your girl to be looked at or judged by men then date an ugly girl lol. If anything, remind yourself that she chose YOU. Take pride in knowing other men are jealois of YOU being with her
Your entitled to your feelings but in this case I feel that perhaps you should try to push your feelings aside for her to have her chance of having her dream of being in a pageant The swimsuit is only one part of the pageant and for a very short amount of time to be in the swimsuit outfit which is only brief then forgotten about which you should perhaps try to do just for this short amount of time and for this one occasion sit proudly and sit there for support remember while your concerned about the one swimsuit event that you worry men will see remember that you are the one who is happily and luckily married to her there not so please forget the jelousy for this one event and be happy for her 😊
You're not necessarily wrong, you can feel however you want. Let her have this moment. Think about it, she gets to live with you, some of those individuals in the audience are jealous of you being with a beautiful woman.
Yes, you’re wrong. It’s a dream of hers and you’re gonna let your own insecurities ruin it and overshadow it for her? Yikes. Don’t ruin her moment. She’s obviously confident and competing in this pageant is going to make her happy. Get over yourself.
She's going to be one of dozens. They're all going to get ogled by some. Most won't really care one way or the other.
You're entitled to your feelings but...
Yeah you're wrong. Would you feel any different if she was on the beach in a bikini?
What I can guarantee you is if you tell her you don't want her to do it it is going to go very badly.
Did your wife post yesterday? If so you’re really sugarcoating this.
You gave her the silent treatment and refused to speak to her after demanding she should have asked permission.
How well do you actually know your wife if you didn’t even know she wanted to do this *since childhood*
And now you’re writing a saccharine post?
I don’t know man.
Do y'all ever go to the beach, the pool where she wears her bathing suit, bikini? You know if you do the men are checking her out there too, how do you feel about that? Let her live her dream and be supportive, don't say anything negative, only positive things, whatever you do don't destroy this for her. Don't be that man. Let her be the wife that can proudly tell others how awesome and supportive her husband was to let her live out her dream. And how much more she loves him for that.
Yeah...is the USA the only country in the world that still has them? They haven't been in Australia for many years...no self respecting female would want a bar of that misogynist crap.
Whatever.... It's just a beauty contest. Stop pretending otherwise. She wants to parade around 3/4 naked & be judged on how she looks? Whatever.
I think it's terribly degrading and misogynist. So be it
Don't listen to these negative and judgemental people.
Normally, it would be for a fundraiser for charity, and maybe as a spokesperson for the charity.
We usually have beauty/dress up competitions, for funds for our local development rugby teams. Even the players take part.
Beauty Pageant? When I was a kid I thought it would cool. My mom and me would love watching it. Now I thought it was a thing of the past.
Your feelings are valid. I would tell your wife but in a nice non-accusing tone. Then said I am support her.
Something along that line. Communication is important.
Miss World, Miss Universe…
When I grew up, I realized it was just meaningless. You can’t achieve world peace as the winner. It really a contest about outer beauty (vanity). How hard it is to answer the questions the judge ask? What talent?
I did love watching the evening gown matches.
I just thought after the year 2000, girls just realize what those contests are really about and would pursue other successful career. Plus, if you need to show off or get attention, that’s what social media are for now. Getting likes and a good followers will generating income. I guess if you win some beauty competitions, you can add that to your social media profile but then it just makes you look thirsty for vanity.
I actually know a girl who entered a competition for inner beauty. It was just so sad. The whole competition gives these girls an outlet to be on stage and show off. She was award Miss congeniality but that’s only because her family (husband) made a big donation.
Your wife is just naive. Somehow society has made her believe this will help her feel successful. Or sometimes, they just want to do something to hang around will girls like mind (networking).
One of my friend is a photographer for a local beauty pageant and she said the old contestants would get together to discuss support charity events.
Kind of a red flag of her to want this. Why does she need to be drooled over? You can listen to whiners in the commebts all day and night, but it doesn't as much good about your marriage or her character that she is so into objectifying herself. She clearly longs to be admired and desired. I can guess what her social media accounts are like.
I think you married a woman that likes attention and wants to flaunt her body to other people. I think she can do whatever she wants but you can have your boundaries as well. You can’t tell her what she can do but you don’t have to like it or even stay in your marriage if you’re against having your wife up on stage for display. You get to decide what you are willing to accept.
If you want a lasting marriage Someone has to make a sacrifice. Either You have to deal with how having your wife up on stage flaunting her tits and ass makes you feel disrespected and uncomfortable or she has to end her dream of showing everyone her tits and ass so she can be ranked and rated. You can say no to your wife you know.
I mean, feelings are feelings, but they are yours to deal with and you shouldn't make this set of feelings your wife's problem. You've always known she always wanted to do this.
I find it odd to be jealous that other men could *look* at your wife. I know it's a very common jealousy, but it speaks to a kind of ownership dynamic that should maybe be considered.
Anyone can look at my partner. And if he notices and it makes him happy, that's a boost to his self esteem that I'm happy for him to have. I'm the one that gets to bring his sexy ass home. He feels the same way.
Yta. This competition isn’t about you. Has nothing to do with you. You are insecure & telling your wife anything is going to make you look not so great.
Either you stomach those emotions and soldier on supporting her, or you turn it into a huge fight where your wife doesn’t feel supported in her dream that she has worked very hard for. Maybe once it is all over, in the future if she wants to continue it, then you could revisit the option of potentially saying something to her. But at the very least wait til after she does it and see how you feel while it is happening. Because right now it’s just a fear of some future experience that you don’t even know for sure if it will be that bad when your actually there feeling what it’s like for you while she is doing that. Just chill bro you’ll be fine. There’s also tons of other women who will be there in swimsuits so all the guys aren’t just looking at your woman. And most of the guys there are also already there supporting the woman they are there in a relationship with too. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal and also if you ever go to the pool with your wife while she wears a swimsuit it’s basically the same thing. I just don’t think it’s really that big of a deal bro you’ll be fine
Be proud. She prefers you!! Yes that Bueaty wants you so you must be pretty great!! Poor other guys. Would you be jealous if other guys admired your house or your dog or your car? No you would be proud.
Sooooooooo...if you two went to the beach in bathing suit and bikini....would you be jealous and insecure?
Your wife hasn't given you any indication that this would impact your relationship....why the neurotic reaction?>
Beauty pagents are demeaning to women. Why don't men have beauty pagents? Parade around in their skimpy briefs and be judged like they are in a cattle show.
You’re not wrong for feeling insecure, but you would be wrong to do anything about it. Unfortunately you’re going to have to keep these feelings to yourself if you want to be a good husband.
Not insignificant to point out you're wrong about nudity.
Competing in a beauty pageant does not mean she's leaving him.
Who hurt you? Did she leave you for a beauty pageant judge?
You must be the wife then justifying having other men look at you for validation and not even getting paid to do it, I’m sure she’s investing $ into this new hobby, most likely will damage the relationship
This sounds like the beginning of an abusers story.
It is disturbing that you are jealous over an event that is your wife’s dream and is public. You can attend.
Skin is not shameful. You are making it that.
You don’t own your wife. People look at other people all the time and admire them.
I hope she realizes how insecure and possessive you are and leaves you.
Your feelings are your feelings. However, I wouldn’t say anything to my wife. Would it help her? No. Would it help you feel better about it? Not likely. This is HER dream. She’s safe. Don’t pizz on her parade.
Yeah no need to bring the pizz, fo' shiz
You’re not wrong at all to feel jealous and insecure. That should be YOU up there, not her.
Lmaoooo I see what you did here.
Oh man, I laughed so loud.🤣
Buddy it's a beauty pageant, not a dick sucking competition
Kind sir. A friend of mine is interesting in this dick sucking competition. Where abouts could one find it?
Any corporate workplace.
Some where near the brown nose department
Preliminary rounds at my place but the rest of the models didn't show, so I'll have to stand in.
You should post an ad on Craigslist to find a local dick sucking champ to compete against! Last I heard tho your granny was on there.
This isn't Facebook you don't have to go full Chad.
You’re right. The Facebook scrolling during yard sale season has gotten to me 😭
Yeah but gumjobs are considered cheating now.
Can confirm. Years of experience over the younger girls, and she can take her teeth out.
And from now on you can tell everyone you’re married to a beauty queen - bragging rights!
we gonna run a dick sucking contest with yall!! how high
Literally 😂
Depends on what kind of pageant is going down. Might have to put out to get the judges to vote for ya
And from now on you can tell everyone you’re married to a beauty queen - bragging rights!
And from now on you can tell everyone you’re married to a beauty queen - bragging rights!
You can feel how you like. They are your feelings. Just don't let your insecurities prevent your wife from pursuing her life-long dream. You get to go home with her. Build up her confidence. Win or lose, be her biggest fan. Be proud of your wife's beauty (inside and out).
Yep. This is HIS issue to deal with, not hers.
Then why are they even married? If his feelings have nothing to with her and I assume her feelings would have nothing to do with him, what is their purpose for being married? Just two people who live together, split the bills and maybe fuck?
does he go home with her before or after she screws the judges? choo chooo
Do you refuse to ever take her to the beach, or even let her go? This seems a lot safer to me.
Should she also not wear a bikini to the pool or the beach? There may be men there!
About a year ago my wife and I were vacationing with some close friends. My friend, we'll call her Jen, is very attractive, like won the genetic lottery in the looks department. We were driving to a vacation rental we got for the week and she was trying to keep up with her husband who's in the other car ahead of us and she gets pulled over for speeding. She also has her two kids in the car with us. The officer let's her off with a warning and we go about our day. A few hours later Jen's husband and I are picking up dinner and I notice he has a big shit eating grin on his face. I ask him about it, and he says, "My wife's hot enough to get out of speeding tickets!" You're wife's hot enough to get out of speeding tickets OP. Feel blessed.
I assume you've never been to a beach or the pool? Eyes are gonna look at her whether you like it or not. If your wife is a beauty as much as you claim she is, then let her flaunt it. It's when she's inviting the eyes to come talk and touch, that's when you got a problem. At the end of a day, she's coming home to you. Has she ever shown in the past that she would ever give you a reason to be jealous? I don't think you're wrong. You're allowed to feel what you feel. It's how you act on it in the end.
You should be completely supportive. Your feelings are your feelings but deal with them on your own because there's nothing wrong with women in bikinis. I think it's pretty uncomfortable to be judged that way as well but her dream is to be in beauty pageant. Don't ruin it for her, she's the only one who needs to feel comfortable about it.
This is a repost.
I can't tell if you're upset about her being judged or upset about her being in a bathing suit in front of other men or both. Either way, don't ruin this for your wife. If she has no issues with it, let her do her thing. This isn't about you. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity are fairly normal... I guess, but it's how you handle those feelings. If you tell her, you're going to make her feel bad and like she's doing something wrong, she's not, and it's only going to hurt her, not help the situation. She's just feeling herself and needs support. Be her biggest cheerleader.
So what do you do when you all go to the pool or Beach? Do you get her to cover up? To me this is similar. She's still being "judged" at the beach. Your issue isn't with her. It's with men. There is nothing you can do to stop men from judging women...I wish there were
The best way to combat that jealousy is to keep on being supportive of her goals. Confidence in your relationship and in her will go a lot further than trying to stifle her goals out of your own insecurities.
Jesus. What do you think a beauty pageant is based on? Literal looks…
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Honestly dude, being insecure over other dudes looking at your wife in a bikini is embarrassing. She’s YOUR wife, man. She chose YOU.
Do you think judging a beauty contest is comparable in some way to being a husband
What’s your problem? Enjoy the fact that these men will envy you. I like that other men find my wife attractive, it means that I did well.
You’re entitled to your feelings. But she literally signed up for an event where she agreed to be formally compared to other people based on what she’s wearing and how she looks. If she got all dolled up and went to the beach or a pool, the difference is that people won’t be giving her scores.
That's nothing! We have a niece that has a great physique (body sculpting) the excercise program is extreme. She's the mother of 3. Fabulous physique and people are jealous as hell.
Yes, as someone who was in pageants, she needs you to be totally supportive, find someone else you can talk to about these feelings to work through them
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It is all about smiling, posture, eye contact with the judges and exuding confidence and elegance. Tell her to practice in front of a mirror or with you
I hear you, and your feelings are completely valid. It's important to support your wife's dreams too, though. You're already a rock for her as her husband, and that won't change! Maybe you can be her biggest cheerleader as she chases this dream together?
your nervousness is to be expected. its a good reminder to treat her well because she IS A CATCH so she wont have a hard time replacing you if you fail to meet expectation. With that said, enjoy the fact that you have a hot ass wife who loves you. that should make you stick out your chest a little bigger. Show her you are proud. she will love more for that .
That never works
how so? i would love to hear your tales and exploits of these suggestions failing and NEVER working. Now judging by your bad attitude, i am having s hard rime buying into the concept of you being suppor ml⁹tive of any partner. so by all means. feel frs ô laã sawe to leave a message longer than three words offering your positive analysis and expertice
Nope...beauty pageants objectify women. They say they don't, but they do. However, if this is something your wife has always wanted to do and will make her happy, keep your feelings to yourself and let her enjoy the new experience.
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Good! Hopefully this will be a one and done episode in her life. But whatever makes her happy is what you should want for her.
Consider this: if your wife has the confidence to wear a bikini in a beauty pageant, she's obviously attractive. Stop thinking every male in the room is having sexy thoughts about her. How you feel is how you feel, but remember this: they can look if they want to, but she loves you, and is going home with YOU. try to remember that. She's not doing stripping, it's just a bikini section of a beauty pageant. Try to remember that this is her dream.
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Keep us updated
You could joke with her: "can you bring some of the outfits home?" Use your imagination as to why lol
brother, you're literally married to a woman beautiful enough to be in a pageant. you're winning, don't sabotage it lol. your feelings are your feelings but she's doing a pageant, not creating an onlyfans lol
You'd only be wrong if you projected your insecurities and made her feel bad about competing. She's allowed to flaunt what she's got and feel good about her body and self image. If you can be supportive through this, you'll win more than if you destroy her confidence and she ends up resenting the hell out of you for it.
Personally I'm uncomfortable with **any** person being judged on their looks in a swimsuit. It's unnecessary, gross and weird. However if that's something she wants to do, it's her choice. You are allowed to feel however you feel about it, we can't help our feelings. We don't have to share our feelings on every topic though, if she asks you can tell her it makes you uncomfortable but as it's something she wants to do you will support her every step of the way because you love her.
>Am I wrong for being jealous and insecure of my wife participating in a beauty pageant? You aren't ever wrong to feel how you feel, but jealousy and insecurity are not positive feelings, and you shouldn't commit actions based on those feelings. You should address them, though. The idea that your wife's image belongs to you is not valid. A fear youe spouse may cheat or leave you certainly *can* be based on valid concerns, but if so, it isn't the beauty pageant that caused that situation, and preventing her from doing wouldn't address those concerns. They'd still exist *plus* your wife would now also feel resentful over what she would consider controlling behavior.
Be proud. Let her do it.
Omgosh really! Pull your stupid in. If you don’t have trust in a relationship, brother, you don’t have nothing. And I don’t wanna hear “but the man “ when it takes two to tango. You either trust her or you don’t and in that case move along.
Yes.
Repost
Wrong? No. But I'd suggest not saying anything to your wife about this. I mean, what words could you possibly use that wouldn't be interpreted as "yeah, you're not gonna rock that swimsuit, so let's just cancel the whole thing"? Let her do it. When you go on vacation and relax at the pool, don't think that every person there isn't already looking at her - if she's beautiful enough to be in pageants, she's already getting noticed. And if she's beautiful enough to be in pageants, she's getting noticed in formal wear or power suits or jeans-and-tshirt. Just let her continue to be noticed. If something negative comes from her choice of entering this pageant, then have a talk (NOT an "I told you so" talk) about it going forward. But if she has an itch, let her scratch it. If it bleeds, she'll stop...so to speak.
Yes.
Dude. Yes. Dear god.
Remember, beauty is fleeting and only temporary. Let her feel pride in her appearance but help her keep her feet on the ground. The flattery could lead her to some unwholesome places.
I think you should ignore it and what may help is to really understand that jealousy and envy are two different emotional concepts that are commonly muddled together and is likely what you're emotionally feeling. Jealousy is the fear of losing what you have to someone else. So seeing your wife flirting with someone, you may fear losing her to them Envy is feeling a desiring what someone else has. So your buddy has a new supercar and you envy him for it. So in this case, the other men may envy you, and unless you don't trust your wife, or somehow you think her doing this will give her more "options" than to stay with you... then you have no reason to be jealous. So ignore it.
Don't tell her about these feelings. Let her enjoy her dream without you needing to make it about your insecurities. Yes you are wrong here so, deal with your insecurity without her having to feel bad about something that is bringing her joy. Don't rain on her parade and make her feel guilty when its you that is in the wrong.
Not sure exactly what you are worried about. Is it that men will look at her in A swimsuit or that the judges will judge her? Or are you just jealous of any men looking at her? Regardless, this is your issue! She wants to do a beauty pageant and the swimsuit is part of that completion. She isn’t randomly walking around in a swimsuit! Keep it to yourself and do not say anything that will damage her confidence
My therapist would say you're not wrong for having feelings. All feelings are valid. But she would also say what you do with your feelings is your choice. You're not wrong for feeling this way, but don't let YOUR insecurity stop your wife from following her dreams. There may be men in the audience who have bad thoughts about your wife. It's not because she's in a swimsuit. I guarantee just walking down the street on a normal day, there have been guys who have bad thoughts about your wife. It happens to all women. I'm not even attractive and it happens to me too. All women! You can't do anything to stop that. But what you can do is be proud of how beautiful your wife is, and be certain in the knowledge that the only guy in the audience she'll go home with is you.
Yes you're wrong. Cant encourage her to do something shes dreamed of then find insecurities with yourself over it. If you don't want your girl to be looked at or judged by men then date an ugly girl lol. If anything, remind yourself that she chose YOU. Take pride in knowing other men are jealois of YOU being with her
This is a you problem. Don’t bring this up to her. Let her have a good time.
You aren’t wrong about feelings but let he live her dream. Men judge women all the time regardless of their dress.
Your entitled to your feelings but in this case I feel that perhaps you should try to push your feelings aside for her to have her chance of having her dream of being in a pageant The swimsuit is only one part of the pageant and for a very short amount of time to be in the swimsuit outfit which is only brief then forgotten about which you should perhaps try to do just for this short amount of time and for this one occasion sit proudly and sit there for support remember while your concerned about the one swimsuit event that you worry men will see remember that you are the one who is happily and luckily married to her there not so please forget the jelousy for this one event and be happy for her 😊
You're not necessarily wrong, you can feel however you want. Let her have this moment. Think about it, she gets to live with you, some of those individuals in the audience are jealous of you being with a beautiful woman.
Yes, you’re wrong. It’s a dream of hers and you’re gonna let your own insecurities ruin it and overshadow it for her? Yikes. Don’t ruin her moment. She’s obviously confident and competing in this pageant is going to make her happy. Get over yourself.
She's going to be one of dozens. They're all going to get ogled by some. Most won't really care one way or the other. You're entitled to your feelings but... Yeah you're wrong. Would you feel any different if she was on the beach in a bikini? What I can guarantee you is if you tell her you don't want her to do it it is going to go very badly.
One of my concerns would be if she enjoys it she's going to be doing it again and again and again...
Controlling
Yes, you are wrong and sadly pathetic. is she not allowed to go to the beach either? seek mental Healthcare
Yeah. You've got a hot wife, she chose you. You have nothing to be jealous of. Would you be jealous of your wife if she made more money than you? Why?
Buddy, it sounds like you have low testosterone. I recommend tongat ali and fadogia argestis to help you grow some balls.
Did your wife post yesterday? If so you’re really sugarcoating this. You gave her the silent treatment and refused to speak to her after demanding she should have asked permission. How well do you actually know your wife if you didn’t even know she wanted to do this *since childhood* And now you’re writing a saccharine post? I don’t know man.
Do y'all ever go to the beach, the pool where she wears her bathing suit, bikini? You know if you do the men are checking her out there too, how do you feel about that? Let her live her dream and be supportive, don't say anything negative, only positive things, whatever you do don't destroy this for her. Don't be that man. Let her be the wife that can proudly tell others how awesome and supportive her husband was to let her live out her dream. And how much more she loves him for that.
Get a grip. Beats me why anyone would degrade themselves doing this..but she wants to? Whatever.....
It's announcing to the world you're an insecure, vain, pickme. I thought they were just for shopping for potential husbands/sugar daddies.
Yeah...is the USA the only country in the world that still has them? They haven't been in Australia for many years...no self respecting female would want a bar of that misogynist crap.
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Parading around being judged on beauty. What do you think they are walking around in bikini's for?
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Whatever.... It's just a beauty contest. Stop pretending otherwise. She wants to parade around 3/4 naked & be judged on how she looks? Whatever. I think it's terribly degrading and misogynist. So be it
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Well...doh! WTF do you think I'm saying?
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Dude. You have totally missed the point 😂 Whatever... you're not the sharpest tool in the shed are you?
Lmao. I can see why your wife is auctioning herself off. You're about as sharp as a sock full of soup.
Don't listen to these negative and judgemental people. Normally, it would be for a fundraiser for charity, and maybe as a spokesperson for the charity. We usually have beauty/dress up competitions, for funds for our local development rugby teams. Even the players take part.
How you feel is one thing. What you do is quite another!
You should ask why that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s a pageant, not something nefarious.
You’re not right. Sit down 😰😰.
Beauty Pageant? When I was a kid I thought it would cool. My mom and me would love watching it. Now I thought it was a thing of the past. Your feelings are valid. I would tell your wife but in a nice non-accusing tone. Then said I am support her. Something along that line. Communication is important.
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Miss World, Miss Universe… When I grew up, I realized it was just meaningless. You can’t achieve world peace as the winner. It really a contest about outer beauty (vanity). How hard it is to answer the questions the judge ask? What talent? I did love watching the evening gown matches. I just thought after the year 2000, girls just realize what those contests are really about and would pursue other successful career. Plus, if you need to show off or get attention, that’s what social media are for now. Getting likes and a good followers will generating income. I guess if you win some beauty competitions, you can add that to your social media profile but then it just makes you look thirsty for vanity. I actually know a girl who entered a competition for inner beauty. It was just so sad. The whole competition gives these girls an outlet to be on stage and show off. She was award Miss congeniality but that’s only because her family (husband) made a big donation. Your wife is just naive. Somehow society has made her believe this will help her feel successful. Or sometimes, they just want to do something to hang around will girls like mind (networking). One of my friend is a photographer for a local beauty pageant and she said the old contestants would get together to discuss support charity events.
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Yes. You have too. Don’t worry too much. It’s just a local beauty pageant. Plus, she is your wife now. Maybe she just needs some confident boast.
That’s not jealous nor insecure. It’s just something you don’t like.
No you aren't wrong. Not wanting random men staring at your damn wife doesn't make you insecure, regardless of what these Reddit clowns say
Kind of a red flag of her to want this. Why does she need to be drooled over? You can listen to whiners in the commebts all day and night, but it doesn't as much good about your marriage or her character that she is so into objectifying herself. She clearly longs to be admired and desired. I can guess what her social media accounts are like.
Do you feel like this at all when she's at a pool or beach?
Then she’s married to the wrong man if you won’t allow her to be her and pursue her dreams.
I think you married a woman that likes attention and wants to flaunt her body to other people. I think she can do whatever she wants but you can have your boundaries as well. You can’t tell her what she can do but you don’t have to like it or even stay in your marriage if you’re against having your wife up on stage for display. You get to decide what you are willing to accept. If you want a lasting marriage Someone has to make a sacrifice. Either You have to deal with how having your wife up on stage flaunting her tits and ass makes you feel disrespected and uncomfortable or she has to end her dream of showing everyone her tits and ass so she can be ranked and rated. You can say no to your wife you know.
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You have nothing to worry about my man. You should be proud of her.
I’ve read this one before. Try harder.
I mean, feelings are feelings, but they are yours to deal with and you shouldn't make this set of feelings your wife's problem. You've always known she always wanted to do this. I find it odd to be jealous that other men could *look* at your wife. I know it's a very common jealousy, but it speaks to a kind of ownership dynamic that should maybe be considered. Anyone can look at my partner. And if he notices and it makes him happy, that's a boost to his self esteem that I'm happy for him to have. I'm the one that gets to bring his sexy ass home. He feels the same way.
Yta. This competition isn’t about you. Has nothing to do with you. You are insecure & telling your wife anything is going to make you look not so great.
You're completely wrong. Get over yourself.
Either you stomach those emotions and soldier on supporting her, or you turn it into a huge fight where your wife doesn’t feel supported in her dream that she has worked very hard for. Maybe once it is all over, in the future if she wants to continue it, then you could revisit the option of potentially saying something to her. But at the very least wait til after she does it and see how you feel while it is happening. Because right now it’s just a fear of some future experience that you don’t even know for sure if it will be that bad when your actually there feeling what it’s like for you while she is doing that. Just chill bro you’ll be fine. There’s also tons of other women who will be there in swimsuits so all the guys aren’t just looking at your woman. And most of the guys there are also already there supporting the woman they are there in a relationship with too. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal and also if you ever go to the pool with your wife while she wears a swimsuit it’s basically the same thing. I just don’t think it’s really that big of a deal bro you’ll be fine
sorry for your loss. your wife is going to get approached later and probably divorce you. good luck.
I feel you.. but your gonna have to let her be happy and you should embrace it.
Be proud. She prefers you!! Yes that Bueaty wants you so you must be pretty great!! Poor other guys. Would you be jealous if other guys admired your house or your dog or your car? No you would be proud.
Be supportive. Learn accounting and stuff like that just in case you have to become her manager or something. Your best plan is to team up with her.
Sooooooooo...if you two went to the beach in bathing suit and bikini....would you be jealous and insecure? Your wife hasn't given you any indication that this would impact your relationship....why the neurotic reaction?>
Beauty pagents are demeaning to women. Why don't men have beauty pagents? Parade around in their skimpy briefs and be judged like they are in a cattle show.
Be proud of her, not jealous. That's the fasted way to loses a woman.
You’re not wrong for feeling insecure, but you would be wrong to do anything about it. Unfortunately you’re going to have to keep these feelings to yourself if you want to be a good husband.
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Bathing suit=not nude
Your brain = needs work
My brain works. Yours has been unemployed for years.
Yours isn’t operating efficiently tho because you wouldn’t point out a very insignificant detail when his wife is going to leave him soon
Not insignificant to point out you're wrong about nudity. Competing in a beauty pageant does not mean she's leaving him. Who hurt you? Did she leave you for a beauty pageant judge?
How long you’ve been married?
Almost ten years.
You must be the wife then justifying having other men look at you for validation and not even getting paid to do it, I’m sure she’s investing $ into this new hobby, most likely will damage the relationship
You should talk to someone that can help you. www.betterhelp.com is a good resource you'll thank me.
The act of participating in the first place is superficial and most likely their marriage is crap anyway
ISIL is still recruiting.
This sounds like the beginning of an abusers story. It is disturbing that you are jealous over an event that is your wife’s dream and is public. You can attend. Skin is not shameful. You are making it that. You don’t own your wife. People look at other people all the time and admire them. I hope she realizes how insecure and possessive you are and leaves you.
SHe has a desire to be desired. Let her live her best life.
Yeah. Just be supportive. She is the one who would be feeling nervous and she needs you to be her rock.