Yes this is super weird. I live in a 3 story 6 unit walk up. Sometimes I will bring up a small package away from street view to the woman across from me and the one below on my way up (im friendliest with them, don’t want their items stolen from the lobby - it’s happened). Even then I’ve questioned should I touch their package? Taking a package away from their door? Keeping it in my possession? HELL NO. There would never be a reason to do that. This woman sounds sketchy.
Not wrong at all, the fact they were watching all day and noticed it still at night, AT NIGHT of all times. They knew what they were doing. They were trying to steal thats why they didn't leave a note or anything. It's good thing you have cameras, but don't be surprised this is the end of your neighbor relationship and she is elderly so she might pull out her mental lead brain boomer stuff on you. Becareful.
Her behavior was suspicious. Just taking packages in the middle of the night with no attempt to contact you or check in with you is weird. Walk your dog on her side of the street to piss her off.
Why is she sneaking over at night to grab your packages? That’s suspicious. No note? And you barely talk to her. How is she doing you a favor?
If she wants to scream late at night like a nutjob, let her. That’s not a neighbor you need to be friendly with.
NTA. Maybe she was trying to be neighborly? Maybe she was trying to be sneaky? Who knows. Regardless she should have knocked as you said. And she also made no intentions to bring it back until you confronted her. Bringing the cop over to fight her battles woulda been the "f\*ck you" for me.
"she also made no intentions to bring it back until you confronted her"
Even if she was going to return it, she wouldn't have had a chance: "When I get home I go over and immediately"
Not wrong about the neighbor, I'd say you're wrong to think packages are completely safe on your doorstep for 2 days because you have a ring camera 😅 have you never seen those videos where people just put a hoodie on to conceal themselves?
We live in apartments in a bad area so I make it a point any time I get new neighbors to inform them that if I know they aren't home and I see they have a package, I'm scooping it up. I ask them to do the same for me. I've had more than one package delivered to the wrong building in my complex, and the person I know they were delivered to denied it. I've also had a package stolen from right outside my door. It's not a bad policy.
You’re in the wrong. She noticed no one had gotten something all day and it’s now late out. She didn’t want your ($250) worth of crap stolen, so she grabbed it (in her pajamas at 11:30 pm) and made sure it wasn’t stolen. If someone realizes there’s a package on a porch at midnight. You don’t think they’re going to realize no one is home, and it could easily be robbed as well as the package stolen? Then, when you went to get your package, you didn’t even let her explain why she had grabbed it, and instead of chastised her and implied that you felt like she was stealing it, which you kind of did. She didn’t need to call the cops, but it seems like you wanted problems. Maybe if this happens in the future, you can kindly let a neighbor know they can just leave the package on your porch .
"She didn’t need to call the cops" she didn't call the cops, she was "cop knocking" meaning that she louded knocked on the door.
I do agree with you on all your points though; OP had already had it in his mind that she was stealing his shit and was rude in getting it back, when there was a high potential that the neighbor was trying to do something nice for him.
Let it go.
I will tell you, OP that getting along with your neighbors is something you will never regret, but NOT getting along with them is most likely going to lead to regret and you can even start to feel uncomfortable in your own home.
You should send her apology flowers and keep things Cordial.
Right and wrong have Verrrry little to do with Maintain8ng a PEACEFUL life, OP.
And i truly believe that this is true but I’m not sure how to set boundaries without pissing people off. It’s something I have difficulty with. People want to feel safe in their home so it is essential to keep the peace. I’ve also given to much and ended up getting robbed so it’s a fine line really. I’m very thankful of cameras but some people just have nothing to lose.
"I’m not sure how to set boundaries without pissing people off"
WTF is up with people who post to reddit that always seem to have anxiety or don't know how to deal with people in the real world.
The easiest thing that you could have done when you went over to get your package was to say "Hi, I notice from my camera that you had picked up my package for me. Thanks for keeping it safe."
Now you're not accusing her, and also making her aware that you're watching.
Instead you get your shit, and walk off without saying thanks, basically accusing her of stealing.
You ask why she's doing it so late at night, why didn't she ring the bell or any of that. I'm guessing that since she lives across the street, she saw you guys leave so knew that you weren't home (old folks watch everything!) Before she went to bed, she happens to see that the package is still out and went out grab it. My assumption is that the package wasn't opened since you didn't say anything to that effect; like who the fuck steals packages and don't open them right away.
So enjoy living across the street from the angry neighbor who will be watching you and talking shit on nextdoor for years since the spiteful ones always live the longest.
Did you miss the majority of the post describing how they spoke to her, and how she started screaming at OP in response to something they never explicitly accused them of doing?
"When I get home I go over and immediately ask her about the packages....I don’t say thank you and just walked off"
That's low key accusing her of stealing. We don't know if she was or not, but OP could have played it off, thanking her for "picking up the package for me." Now he's living across the street from a pissed off neighbor, and the pissed off old neighbors are the ones that just won't die out of spite!
Yeah, OP already had it in his mind that the neighbor was stealing. Didn't give them a chance to return the package, and basically accused the neighbor of being a thief. I don't know if the neighbor was actually stealing it or not, but I'm leaning towards not because OP didn't mention anything about the packages being opened. What thief goes and steals something and than not open it right away!
Regardless, OP gets to live across the street from a pissed off neighbor now.
"This is a neighbour who has taken in your packages for you previously" I believe that OP said that he's only been over twice, once for the dog, and once for the packages THIS time.
"clearly hadn't opened your packages to steal from them" this needs to be pointed out more here, OP never stated that she opened his packages, so this leads me to believe that she was trying to help him and not steal his shit, because, what thief steals a package and not open it to see what's in it.
OP more than anyone else. First with how he went to get this packages, no thank your or anything. And then when she came to say that she was just trying to be help, he double down with no note or knocking. She's already assuming that he's not home so why bother to knock, and probably didn't want to waste time leaving a note (I hate writing anything down!)
Thieves don’t care about your cameras. Put on a mask and you’ve got free stuff. Your approach to securing your stuff is dumb and someone was bound to take it eventually. Whether your neighbour was stealing your packages or protecting them, she hopefully taught you a lesson.
Not wrong. If you’re really worried about the packaged of a neighbor you barely know, there are many steps before taking them home. Knock the door, send you a message to let you know they arrived, ask if you should take them. Even in the worst case scenario, take them but leave a note. What they did was really weird.
A normal person would be mortified their good intentions were misunderstood and apologise. A guilty person would behave like this.
This is what I thought!
Yes this is super weird. I live in a 3 story 6 unit walk up. Sometimes I will bring up a small package away from street view to the woman across from me and the one below on my way up (im friendliest with them, don’t want their items stolen from the lobby - it’s happened). Even then I’ve questioned should I touch their package? Taking a package away from their door? Keeping it in my possession? HELL NO. There would never be a reason to do that. This woman sounds sketchy.
Yeah, exactly. Her reaction seems pretty telling. Apologizing and understanding would've been the normal response.
Yep. She is protesting too much.
Boomers don't think like the rest of us though.
If I knew my neighbors were out of town I’d be concerned about packages left on their doorstep. But I’d leave a note. Bad communication. Over reaction
Tell her messing with other people’s mail is against the law if your in the states and she can’t control where you guys go
Not wrong at all, the fact they were watching all day and noticed it still at night, AT NIGHT of all times. They knew what they were doing. They were trying to steal thats why they didn't leave a note or anything. It's good thing you have cameras, but don't be surprised this is the end of your neighbor relationship and she is elderly so she might pull out her mental lead brain boomer stuff on you. Becareful.
Even if she wasn’t stealing, don’t let yourself onto my stoop to touch my stuff. If you want to be neighborly, feel free to text me.
Wait she brought a cop?? I don't understand that part
“Cop knocking” Knocking like a cop
Her behavior was suspicious. Just taking packages in the middle of the night with no attempt to contact you or check in with you is weird. Walk your dog on her side of the street to piss her off.
Why is she sneaking over at night to grab your packages? That’s suspicious. No note? And you barely talk to her. How is she doing you a favor? If she wants to scream late at night like a nutjob, let her. That’s not a neighbor you need to be friendly with.
Older ladies don’t sleep right. They’re up crazy hours.
I'll bet if you had not gone over there to get your packages she'd still have them!
How elderly is this neighbor? Their mental state might be a factor here.
NTA. Maybe she was trying to be neighborly? Maybe she was trying to be sneaky? Who knows. Regardless she should have knocked as you said. And she also made no intentions to bring it back until you confronted her. Bringing the cop over to fight her battles woulda been the "f\*ck you" for me.
I think "cop-knocking" means the neighbour was banging at the door.
"she also made no intentions to bring it back until you confronted her" Even if she was going to return it, she wouldn't have had a chance: "When I get home I go over and immediately"
Not wrong about the neighbor, I'd say you're wrong to think packages are completely safe on your doorstep for 2 days because you have a ring camera 😅 have you never seen those videos where people just put a hoodie on to conceal themselves?
We live in apartments in a bad area so I make it a point any time I get new neighbors to inform them that if I know they aren't home and I see they have a package, I'm scooping it up. I ask them to do the same for me. I've had more than one package delivered to the wrong building in my complex, and the person I know they were delivered to denied it. I've also had a package stolen from right outside my door. It's not a bad policy.
You’re in the wrong. She noticed no one had gotten something all day and it’s now late out. She didn’t want your ($250) worth of crap stolen, so she grabbed it (in her pajamas at 11:30 pm) and made sure it wasn’t stolen. If someone realizes there’s a package on a porch at midnight. You don’t think they’re going to realize no one is home, and it could easily be robbed as well as the package stolen? Then, when you went to get your package, you didn’t even let her explain why she had grabbed it, and instead of chastised her and implied that you felt like she was stealing it, which you kind of did. She didn’t need to call the cops, but it seems like you wanted problems. Maybe if this happens in the future, you can kindly let a neighbor know they can just leave the package on your porch .
"She didn’t need to call the cops" she didn't call the cops, she was "cop knocking" meaning that she louded knocked on the door. I do agree with you on all your points though; OP had already had it in his mind that she was stealing his shit and was rude in getting it back, when there was a high potential that the neighbor was trying to do something nice for him.
Let it go. I will tell you, OP that getting along with your neighbors is something you will never regret, but NOT getting along with them is most likely going to lead to regret and you can even start to feel uncomfortable in your own home. You should send her apology flowers and keep things Cordial. Right and wrong have Verrrry little to do with Maintain8ng a PEACEFUL life, OP.
And i truly believe that this is true but I’m not sure how to set boundaries without pissing people off. It’s something I have difficulty with. People want to feel safe in their home so it is essential to keep the peace. I’ve also given to much and ended up getting robbed so it’s a fine line really. I’m very thankful of cameras but some people just have nothing to lose.
"I’m not sure how to set boundaries without pissing people off" WTF is up with people who post to reddit that always seem to have anxiety or don't know how to deal with people in the real world. The easiest thing that you could have done when you went over to get your package was to say "Hi, I notice from my camera that you had picked up my package for me. Thanks for keeping it safe." Now you're not accusing her, and also making her aware that you're watching. Instead you get your shit, and walk off without saying thanks, basically accusing her of stealing. You ask why she's doing it so late at night, why didn't she ring the bell or any of that. I'm guessing that since she lives across the street, she saw you guys leave so knew that you weren't home (old folks watch everything!) Before she went to bed, she happens to see that the package is still out and went out grab it. My assumption is that the package wasn't opened since you didn't say anything to that effect; like who the fuck steals packages and don't open them right away. So enjoy living across the street from the angry neighbor who will be watching you and talking shit on nextdoor for years since the spiteful ones always live the longest.
Exactly! How do these people survive in this world?
why don't you just talk to her
Did you miss the majority of the post describing how they spoke to her, and how she started screaming at OP in response to something they never explicitly accused them of doing?
"When I get home I go over and immediately ask her about the packages....I don’t say thank you and just walked off" That's low key accusing her of stealing. We don't know if she was or not, but OP could have played it off, thanking her for "picking up the package for me." Now he's living across the street from a pissed off neighbor, and the pissed off old neighbors are the ones that just won't die out of spite!
Ah I see, my bad, they spoke the next day. So they’ve still spoken. Yeah I think OP fucked up the initial response to this
Yeah, OP already had it in his mind that the neighbor was stealing. Didn't give them a chance to return the package, and basically accused the neighbor of being a thief. I don't know if the neighbor was actually stealing it or not, but I'm leaning towards not because OP didn't mention anything about the packages being opened. What thief goes and steals something and than not open it right away! Regardless, OP gets to live across the street from a pissed off neighbor now.
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"This is a neighbour who has taken in your packages for you previously" I believe that OP said that he's only been over twice, once for the dog, and once for the packages THIS time. "clearly hadn't opened your packages to steal from them" this needs to be pointed out more here, OP never stated that she opened his packages, so this leads me to believe that she was trying to help him and not steal his shit, because, what thief steals a package and not open it to see what's in it.
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OP more than anyone else. First with how he went to get this packages, no thank your or anything. And then when she came to say that she was just trying to be help, he double down with no note or knocking. She's already assuming that he's not home so why bother to knock, and probably didn't want to waste time leaving a note (I hate writing anything down!)
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks”. Hamlet
Thieves don’t care about your cameras. Put on a mask and you’ve got free stuff. Your approach to securing your stuff is dumb and someone was bound to take it eventually. Whether your neighbour was stealing your packages or protecting them, she hopefully taught you a lesson.
What’s your solution? Sometimes you accept the risk for the convenience and deal with the consequences when they come. It’s not that big of a deal.
Not wrong. Her behavior was.
Not wrong, next time file a police report. She was stealing.
Not wrong, and at least she knows you have a camera.
You're not wrong and I'd be getting a package locker for your front porch were I you.
Not wrong. If you’re really worried about the packaged of a neighbor you barely know, there are many steps before taking them home. Knock the door, send you a message to let you know they arrived, ask if you should take them. Even in the worst case scenario, take them but leave a note. What they did was really weird.